EP 2 – Stephanie, Part 2

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

Speaker 4 Are your AI agents helping users or just creating more work?

Speaker 6 If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 9 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved, so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 8 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io/slash podcast.

Speaker 12 That's pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 13 It starts like any other night. The glass of red, the cozy blanket, then the drop.

Speaker 16 The stains so dark, so stubborn, it might as well have been a crime scene.

Speaker 19 But this isn't your average couch.

Speaker 20 This is Anna Bay.

Speaker 22 Fully washable, unspeakably comfortable, and ready for whatever your life, your kids, or your ex throws ahead of.

Speaker 13 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 24 Starting at just $6.99, you can make sure your sofa isn't part of the problem.

Speaker 13 Fully washable, stain-resistant, and built to hide even the darkest offenses. Right now, get up to 60% off in Black Friday savings because no one should have to live with a stain that won't quit.

Speaker 17 Anna Bay, the only mystery you won't be losing sleep over.

Speaker 25 Shop washable sofas.com today.

Speaker 14 That's washable sofas.com.

Speaker 29 We all have dirty mouth moments, but this one makes your dentist proud.

Speaker 32 I'm talking about dirty mouth toothpowder from Primal Life Organics.

Speaker 35 Instead of foamy fillers and dyes, it gives your teeth back the minerals they're made of, restoring enamel naturally.

Speaker 38 Best part, it's safe even if the little ones swallow it.

Speaker 30 No harsh chemicals, no scary warning labels, just clean ingredients that whiten and strengthen with science.

Speaker 34 Ready to switch?

Speaker 43 Visit PrimalLifeOrganics.com and use code DirtyMouth for 15% off.

Speaker 31 That's Primal LifeOrganics.com.

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Speaker 48 At 5 a.m., my two sons were on the phone to me and said, Get out, get out. We are afraid he is going to kill you.
This is a huge secret. He is not going to want anyone to know.
You are in danger.

Speaker 48 Don't take anything. Just get out.

Speaker 1 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

Speaker 1 This is part two of Stephanie's story. If you haven't heard part one, you should go back and listen to that first.

Speaker 1 Stephanie had been living a suburban dream life with her husband of 22 years. We're calling him Greg, but that's not his real name.
The couple successfully raised six children.

Speaker 1 They built a business together and were looking forward to their next chapter, retirement.

Speaker 1 But everything changed the day she found photos of her own nude body on his computer. Disgusting, violating photos.
Photos that made her suspect her husband had been secretly drugging her for years.

Speaker 1 In a flat, unapologetic tone, he told her how he used the photos.

Speaker 48 He explained, he puts the picture up in a chat room, and 25 people at a time can be in the chat room, but people come and go.

Speaker 48 As they come in and out, these other men

Speaker 48 are then explaining what they would do to me, how they would rape me.

Speaker 1 Remember the caption that was under the photo of Stephanie? Well, that was one of many. And they were written by other men in the chat room with Greg.
He confessed to all of it.

Speaker 1 He actually encouraged the strangers on the internet to make violent comments about Stephanie in order to fulfill his own fantasies.

Speaker 48 This is a man that

Speaker 48 whenever we would go somewhere in public, he would pull me in close and whisper in my ear,

Speaker 48 you're the most beautiful woman here.

Speaker 48 He was just sweet and kind and gentle and

Speaker 48 a sick pervert.

Speaker 1 When she found that very first nude picture of her on her husband's phone back in 2016, he got on his knees and wept. He begged for her forgiveness.
And back then, she forgave him.

Speaker 1 She believed him when he said it was just a few pictures, just that one time.

Speaker 48 When I first found the pictures, it was August 2016 and it was September when I forgave him.

Speaker 48 When I found the Flickr account in 2021,

Speaker 48 it says right across the top of it, he has been a member since September of 2016.

Speaker 1 All these years where she thought they were rebuilding trust, he was living a double life.

Speaker 48 So it was Sunday the 11th when I found out. Monday morning, I've barricaded myself into the spare bedroom.
And he knocks on the door and he's like, What time are you coming into work?

Speaker 48 And I said,

Speaker 48 I'm not coming into work today, and I'm probably not ever coming again.

Speaker 48 He just wanted to go on like everything was fine.

Speaker 48 Partway through that day, he contacts me and he says he's gotten a hold of this Christian counselor that he knows. And I knew a little bit about this guy.

Speaker 48 Greg and his first wife had done marriage counseling with this same guy.

Speaker 48 So he tells me they've gotten a hold of this Christian counselor and that This guy is willing to drop everything and come over to our house and counsel with us that night. Would I agree to that?

Speaker 1 Stephanie knew her beliefs didn't align with this particular counselor's, but she was lost. Her marriage, her life, it was all unraveling.

Speaker 1 Perhaps meeting with the counselor would provide direction, so she reluctantly agreed.

Speaker 48 This guy came over and explained to me that

Speaker 48 it was really my duty as a wife to not only forgive him,

Speaker 48 but to help him overcome

Speaker 48 his problem.

Speaker 48 At one point, he looked at him and said, you had these same issues with your first wife and you never addressed them. And that's why you're here 25 years later.

Speaker 1 Greg wouldn't explain what happened with his first wife, but Stephanie had heard enough to know that she wasn't the first.

Speaker 1 Greg had done something like this in his last marriage, and then he did it again with her.

Speaker 48 I had not a clue.

Speaker 48 Not a clue.

Speaker 48 I knew I couldn't stay.

Speaker 48 This is not

Speaker 48 someone who's fixable. This behavior has in some way been going on for 30 years.

Speaker 1 The revelation that Greg had done this in his first marriage showed Stephanie the depths of his deception.

Speaker 48 It made me feel

Speaker 48 like he had been conning me from day one.

Speaker 48 That the love that was so real for me

Speaker 48 was always just a game for him.

Speaker 1 So she turned to her sons.

Speaker 48 I found out on the 11th

Speaker 48 and on the 13th, I emailed my children and told them, all of them, as a group, what he had done.

Speaker 48 At five o'clock the next morning, my two sons were on the phone to me

Speaker 48 and said, get out, get out. We are afraid he is going to kill you.
This is a huge secret. He is not going to want anyone to know.
You are in danger. Get out.

Speaker 48 Don't take anything. Just get out.
Right now, mom.

Speaker 48 I had three friends that I had been texting with since I found out,

Speaker 48 and they also

Speaker 48 wanted me out and felt that I was in danger of being killed.

Speaker 48 It definitely could have been possible, and then nobody would know.

Speaker 48 You know, once you've crossed the line to the point where you're drugging someone, the line seems pretty, uh,

Speaker 48 pretty gray.

Speaker 48 So when I left,

Speaker 48 I left with a duffel bag with a few clothing items, my cat,

Speaker 48 and his laptop,

Speaker 48 and I ran for my life.

Speaker 1 Her sons picked her up that day, and she never went back home. She ended up living with her kids for the next few months as she reeled from the trauma.

Speaker 48 I couldn't think. I couldn't function.
I mean, the kids had to like

Speaker 48 sit me down at the table and force me to eat. And I just laid in bed and cried.
On that day, I didn't just lose my husband. I lost my job.
I lost my home. I lost my community.
I lost trust.

Speaker 48 I lost safety.

Speaker 48 I really had to start over from square one.

Speaker 1 That process of starting over felt insurmountable. Stephanie was a shell of of herself.
She had been violated by her own husband. Could there be recourse? Legal recourse?

Speaker 48 All the research that I've done says

Speaker 48 getting a conviction against a husband for something he's done to a wife, probably not going to happen.

Speaker 1 And then there was this.

Speaker 48 We are in a really tiny town, and Greg has lived there since he was two years old. There's not a soul in that town that does not know him.
He is connected to every single person there.

Speaker 1 In the town where Stephanie and her husband lived, there was not a paid police commissioner, but instead a volunteer police commission made up of three people who were responsible for the hiring, firing, disciplining, and the promotion of every officer on the police force.

Speaker 1 Her husband had been on the commission for years.

Speaker 1 Every single officer on the force owed their job to Greg. So Stephanie was fearful of going to the police.

Speaker 48 I knew I wasn't ready to go to the police at that point, that I was just in too much terror and shock.

Speaker 1 And not to mention.

Speaker 48 Up until 2019, it was legal in my state to rape your wife.

Speaker 1 Understandably, Stephanie didn't trust the courts to be able to bring her justice. She She talked off the record with the chief of police and the county attorney.
They were hesitant.

Speaker 1 They told her getting a conviction would be unlikely. Even if Stephanie wanted to pursue criminal charges, she was in a financial bind.

Speaker 48 This was financially

Speaker 48 devastating.

Speaker 48 We lived on a lovely six-figure income and had our house paid for.

Speaker 48 So I have to weigh out if I prosecute him. He's probably going to do little to no jail time.

Speaker 48 He's going to lose his license.

Speaker 48 And then

Speaker 48 I lose my support.

Speaker 48 And I'm not in a position to support myself.

Speaker 48 At 54 years old, I had to completely start over.

Speaker 48 I will never be financially able to own a home again. That was was another grieving process in and of itself.

Speaker 1 And it was also another betrayal, a financial one. Stephanie had spent years working hard to turn Greg's business around, making it profitable.
And now, she was left without a job.

Speaker 1 Just like that, her vision of the future vanished.

Speaker 1 So many unknowns.

Speaker 1 But what Stephanie did know is that she needed her husband to be able to financially support her through the crisis he had caused.

Speaker 1 So for that reason, she decided to move forward with a divorce, but not with criminal charges. Instead, she decided to do an investigation of her own.

Speaker 1 When she left Greg, she took his laptop with her and she brought it straight to a computer forensic specialist.

Speaker 48 I told the investigator, I know you're not going to find the photos on here. The photos were on the Flickr account.
So that's not what you're going to find.

Speaker 48 But I want to know where he was, what he was doing, all of that.

Speaker 48 And the main thing I'm looking for is any evidence that he drugged me because I didn't agree to take those pictures.

Speaker 1 And he went to work.

Speaker 48 When I got the report back, they called me to kind of go over it with me

Speaker 48 and they said

Speaker 48 we found it.

Speaker 48 There's about two years' worth of every single click he made on that computer. And

Speaker 48 the computer forensic specialist found evidence that he had searched for state rape drugs.

Speaker 1 When she started putting the pieces together, Stephanie remembered Cancun.

Speaker 1 All those difficult mornings where she felt like she was waking up at the bottom of a lake.

Speaker 48 Waking up shouldn't feel like that.

Speaker 48 Waking up doesn't normally feel like it's a struggle to get to the light, like it's a struggle to try to wake up.

Speaker 1 And Greg had even been there, explaining that she'd probably just had too much wine, that she sat in the sun for too long.

Speaker 1 Worst of all, she suspected that those long romantic dinners left her vulnerable.

Speaker 48 Throughout the course of this two-and-a-half-hour dinner, I would need to get up and go to the ladies' room, giving him an opportunity to be there with my drink and

Speaker 48 put something in it.

Speaker 48 So, nothing really original. I mean, I think that's how most guys do it.

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Speaker 6 If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 9 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 8 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 12 That's pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 13 It starts like any other night. The glass of red, the cozy blanket, then the drop.

Speaker 16 The stains so dark, so stubborn, it might as well have been a crime scene.

Speaker 19 But this isn't your average couch.

Speaker 20 This is Anna Bay.

Speaker 22 Fully washable, unspeakably comfortable, and ready for whatever your life, your kids, or your ex throws ahead.

Speaker 13 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 24 Starting at just $6.99, you can make sure your sofa isn't part of the problem. Fully washable, stain-resistant, and built to hide even the darkest offenses.

Speaker 13 Right now, get up to 60% off in Black Friday savings because no one should have to live with a stain that won't quit.

Speaker 17 Anna Bay, the only mystery you won't be losing sleep over.

Speaker 25 Shop washable sofas.com today.

Speaker 14 That's washablesofas.com.

Speaker 29 We all have dirty mouth moments, but this one makes your dentist proud.

Speaker 32 I'm talking about dirty mouth toothpowder from Primal Life Organics.

Speaker 35 Instead of foamy fillers and dyes, it gives your teeth back the minerals they're made of, restoring enamel naturally.

Speaker 38 Best part, it's safe even if the little ones swallow it.

Speaker 30 No harsh chemicals, no scary warning labels, just clean ingredients that whiten and strengthen with science.

Speaker 34 Ready to switch?

Speaker 43 Visit primalifeorganics.com and use code DIRTYMOUTH for 15% off.

Speaker 31 That's primalifeorganics.com.

Speaker 1 Stephanie is finding out that the man she built a life with drugged her to take nude photos of her, all while she's coming to terms with the reality that he might never face any legal consequences for these crimes.

Speaker 1 All of this was taking a heavy toll on her.

Speaker 48 You know, when you go to the doctor for your physical and they give you this little quiz about your mental health and depression and things like that,

Speaker 48 I had a sworn statement from my doctor of many years saying that year after year, my score was zero. I was like, I got no stress, nothing.

Speaker 48 I couldn't be happier.

Speaker 48 After this happened,

Speaker 48 45 is the most you can score.

Speaker 26 I was

Speaker 48 43.

Speaker 48 Super high risk.

Speaker 1 She started walking through the world differently, emotionally and physically.

Speaker 48 They have changed my appearance.

Speaker 48 I had longish hair and

Speaker 48 I wore very feminine clothing.

Speaker 48 In the days following finding out,

Speaker 48 I cut off all my hair and I continue to wear my hair short.

Speaker 48 And I wear very plain, baggy, nondescript clothing.

Speaker 1 She found a therapist and she started seeing them twice a week. But especially in the beginning, it wasn't enough.
She was desperate for more support.

Speaker 48 When I first left him, within the first few weeks, I reached out to a mental health suicide hotline.

Speaker 1 She relied on all the resources available. One day, about a year after she found the photos, it all became too much for her to handle.

Speaker 1 And as a forewarning, we're about to discuss suicide.

Speaker 48 On that particular day, we had divorce mediation.

Speaker 48 We had had a previous mediation where we divided out our assets.

Speaker 48 Our 25 years of marriage was put on a balance sheet, and you each get half.

Speaker 48 This was actually now the third mediation, and it was on Zoom. And I was very frustrated with my attorney.
I kept saying to her,

Speaker 48 I need him to support me. I can't even function.
I can't get a job. I can't go out in public.
I can't function. He has to support me.
He did this.

Speaker 48 And she just kept telling me things like, you know, what he did to you just doesn't matter in divorce law.

Speaker 48 Well, it does because I can't work.

Speaker 48 So

Speaker 48 we had this mediation, and the mediator was was just

Speaker 48 very dismissive with me.

Speaker 48 By the time that we had done our four hours of mediation, I

Speaker 48 sobbed for a while and realized I'm done. There's no out of this situation.
There's no future. There's no hope.
He wins. I'm done.

Speaker 48 I had been prescribed Atavan for panic attacks because if I tried to go out in public, I would have a panic attack. So I took a handful of Ativan and washed it down with a bottle of wine and

Speaker 48 I broke the wine glass, shattered it,

Speaker 48 and then used the glass shards to cut my wrist open.

Speaker 1 Thankfully, she survived. Her sons found her and brought her to the hospital where she recovered.
Again, she leaned on them for help.

Speaker 48 After the suicide attempt, I got out of the hospital. I had to go back and stay with my kids again for a while.
And my attorney just kept saying, you don't have any rights here.

Speaker 48 What he did doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Her sons were fed up.

Speaker 48 They're like, let's find a new attorney. I got a fantastic guy who worked his ass off for me.

Speaker 48 The new attorney was like, Oh, hell yeah, it matters. He damaged your mental health.
Of course, that matters. And we'll make the judge see it.

Speaker 1 Finally,

Speaker 1 two years after Stephanie found the photos, her divorce trial began.

Speaker 48 I don't know anyone else who had a situation so contentious that they had to go to trial for their divorce.

Speaker 48 We had a two-day trial.

Speaker 48 Him being held accountable for what he did

Speaker 48 did more for my mental health than all the therapy and support groups. And I mean, all of those things have been great.
And I'm not, I don't want to discount those in any way.

Speaker 48 But

Speaker 48 having him held accountable

Speaker 48 gave me back

Speaker 48 my power.

Speaker 1 She rose to the occasion. Stephanie wanted to be there to testify herself.

Speaker 48 I did the bulk of the testifying as to not only what he did to me, but also to our finances, because he would not provide any financial information and just kept saying that his computer crashed.

Speaker 48 Didn't have any records. Can't provide anything.

Speaker 1 The judge

Speaker 1 didn't buy it.

Speaker 48 The judge said there's a legal thing called a negative inference.

Speaker 48 If you fail to provide what they are asking for, or you choose not to answer the question, you take the fifth, which he also did.

Speaker 48 On his testimony, he took the fifth about what he did to me.

Speaker 48 It was all considered a negative inference because then the judge says, clearly, you're keeping this information because it will look bad for you.

Speaker 1 There was some vindication, and that came from hearing expert witnesses confirm what she already knew.

Speaker 48 The computer forensic specialist, his testimony was incredibly damning.

Speaker 48 He testified that there is 100%

Speaker 48 absolute certainty the person who posted these pictures on the internet is my husband.

Speaker 48 He couldn't, you know, back out of it and say, well, I didn't do that. She's just making this up.

Speaker 1 After the trial ended, the judge took 90 days to give his ruling. Waiting for that ruling was the longest summer of Stephanie's life.

Speaker 48 The judge's ruling says he finds that it is a fact that Greg drugged me, took pictures of me without my knowledge or consent, posted them on the internet, shared them with other people.

Speaker 48 And as a result of that, I was traumatized by those events. And because of the trauma and the distress and the difficulty of me being in public, it's not possible for me to work in a full-time way.

Speaker 48 And as such, he has to pay me X amount per month, which is

Speaker 48 a pittance compared to the amount that we lived on. However, it's more than double what he was ever willing to pay me in mediation.

Speaker 1 Stephanie felt victorious, even just hearing the judge confirm that yes, this really happened. It is a fact that this happened to her.

Speaker 1 Originally, Stephanie thought she had deleted all the photos, but through her investigation, Stephanie found multiple accounts. even more photos of her, photos that were still live.

Speaker 1 Even though their case was settled, a divorce trial has limits. The judge couldn't order Greg to take down the photos.

Speaker 1 Asking him to do that would prove on the record that he owned the account and would incriminate him.

Speaker 48 The photos are still there.

Speaker 48 One remaining photo that I know of

Speaker 48 is a picture of me in a bathtub.

Speaker 48 He printed out the picture at some point and masturbated on it,

Speaker 48 and then took a picture of that and reposted it.

Speaker 48 The link is live. I can go look at them right now.

Speaker 1 Even if Greg took down the photos that are still live on his accounts, it wouldn't completely erase them.

Speaker 48 They're still out there because he gave them to other people and he posted them on other sites.

Speaker 48 They're eternal, They're forever.

Speaker 4 Are your AI agents helping users or just creating more work?

Speaker 6 If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 9 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 8 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 12 That's pendo.io slash podcast.

Speaker 13 It starts like any other night. The glass of red, the cozy blanket, then the drop.

Speaker 16 The stains so dark, so stubborn, it might as well have been a crime scene.

Speaker 18 But this isn't your average couch.

Speaker 20 This is Anna Bay.

Speaker 22 Fully washable, unspeakably comfortable, and ready for whatever your life, your kids, or your ex throws at it.

Speaker 19 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 23 Starting at just $6.99, you can make sure your sofa isn't part of the problem.

Speaker 24 Fully washable, stain-resistant, and built to hide even the darkest offenses.

Speaker 13 Right now, get up to 60% off in Black Friday savings because no one should have to live with a stain that won't quit.

Speaker 17 Anna Bay, the only mystery you won't be losing sleep over.

Speaker 25 Shop washable sofas.com today.

Speaker 14 That's washable sofas.com.

Speaker 29 We all have dirty mouth moments, but this one makes your dentist proud.

Speaker 32 I'm talking about dirty mouth toothpowder from Primal Life Organics.

Speaker 35 Instead of foamy fillers and dyes, it gives your teeth back the minerals they're made of, restoring enamel naturally.

Speaker 38 Best part, it's safe even if the little ones swallow it.

Speaker 30 No harsh chemicals, no scary warning labels, just clean ingredients that whiten and strengthen with science.

Speaker 34 Ready to switch?

Speaker 43 Visit PrimalLifeOrganics.com and use code DIRTYMOUTH for 15% off.

Speaker 31 That's PrimalLifeOrganics.com.

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Speaker 1 Since the divorce, there haven't been any charges brought against Greg, but he's had to face very real consequences with his family.

Speaker 48 My four boys have no relationship with with him at all anymore. At one point, he sent letters to each one of them asking for forgiveness.

Speaker 48 Three of the four boys threw the letters away immediately, and one replied, basically saying,

Speaker 48 there is no forgiveness for you. You're a monster.
Don't ever contact me again.

Speaker 1 The news about what Greg did to Stephanie spread like wildfire in their small community.

Speaker 48 When a well-known, prominent couple in the community, all of a sudden, the wife disappears. And now, this is the second wife of his that's disappeared.

Speaker 48 Everybody knows.

Speaker 1 It's had a big impact on his reputation.

Speaker 48 On the stand, he testified that

Speaker 48 since I left,

Speaker 48 his business has been hemorrhaging.

Speaker 48 People call every day and ask for their files to be sent to another doctor.

Speaker 48 I wonder why.

Speaker 1 And that divorce decree from the judge?

Speaker 1 The one where he finds Greg drugged Stephanie, took nude photos of her, posted them on the internet, and caused her great emotional harm?

Speaker 1 That decree has been passed around the whole town.

Speaker 48 Divorce decrees are public information. Anyone can download a copy.

Speaker 48 So I heard a rumor that someone did just that

Speaker 48 and then mailed out the copies to Greg's few remaining friends.

Speaker 1 To be honest, I was surprised that he didn't move somewhere else. But Stephanie has a theory about why he stays.

Speaker 48 In his twisted mind, he's such a big fish in that tiny little pond that he can't imagine going anywhere else. They wouldn't know what a big deal he is.

Speaker 1 Part of Stephanie's healing process was trying to understand the why.

Speaker 1 Why did this happen to her? And why do people like her ex-husband do what they do?

Speaker 48 Are you familiar with Dr. Omar Minwala? Have you heard of him?

Speaker 1 Dr. Minwala is a clinical sexologist and licensed psychologist.
He's the founder of the Institute for Sexual Health. His work focuses on infidelity, compulsive sexual behavior, and sex addiction.

Speaker 1 Stephanie's been reading his work, and it's helping her make sense of what happened.

Speaker 48 With guys that do this kind of stuff, you know, people say, oh, what happened to you when you were a child? You must have had trauma that made you do this.

Speaker 48 He had an ideal childhood, and many of my friends in the betrayal community would say the same thing about their cheating, lying spouses.

Speaker 48 So, Dr. Manwala's premise is that

Speaker 48 this is an act of entitlement. These men do this because

Speaker 48 they

Speaker 48 believe that they deserve to have whatever they want in life, including sexually.

Speaker 48 He calls this Secret Life Online the Secret Sexual Basement.

Speaker 48 These men build this secret sexual basement underneath their family and their marriage and their home.

Speaker 48 And part of the high

Speaker 48 for them

Speaker 48 is

Speaker 48 the secret.

Speaker 48 that they're getting by with it.

Speaker 1 She's found community with other people who've experienced traumatic deception. But in most of the betrayal stories she's heard, there's physical cheating.

Speaker 1 As far as Stephanie knows, Greg was never cheating with another woman.

Speaker 48 He did all of this. Blew up our life, our kids' lives, our friends' lives, our community.
He did all of that to jack off into his own hand.

Speaker 1 Stephanie is trying to re-enter a new world. A world where people are not who they appear to be.

Speaker 1 A world where anyone she meets could have been one of those anonymous users in a chat room with her husband.

Speaker 48 You know, every guy that looks at me, I think, you see those pictures.

Speaker 1 Slowly but surely, she's putting her life back together. It's a never-ending task, figuring out how to rebuild a sense of safety after a portrayal of this magnitude.

Speaker 48 I'm doing okay. I move around in the world a little bit better.
I am happy more often than not.

Speaker 48 I rarely cry. I mean, for almost two years there, it was just,

Speaker 48 man,

Speaker 48 I needed stock in the tissue company because it was just endless.

Speaker 48 I had no idea it was physically possible to cry that much.

Speaker 48 but I can finally see that I'm okay.

Speaker 48 I'm proud of myself that I lived through this. I still have plenty of challenging moments and not good days, and

Speaker 48 I work hard to find joy in my life, and when I find it, I try to really lean in and enjoy it.

Speaker 1 Stephanie is focusing on the new things that bring her joy, like her rescue dog.

Speaker 48 Being able to to take my dog with me when I go places really

Speaker 48 gives me a feeling of safety.

Speaker 1 And she loves watching true crime documentaries.

Speaker 48 And to me now, a rom-com is a horror movie. I couldn't watch that if you paid me.

Speaker 1 Stephanie found work as a nanny. It's a job she loves.

Speaker 1 And it allows her to stay out of the public.

Speaker 48 The nanny job comes with a benefits package that is giggles, hugs, and some pretty terrific drawings from my fridge.

Speaker 1 She even has an appointment to get her first tattoo, a sunflower.

Speaker 48 You know, a sunflower has that round part in the center, and then it has all those petals that go around it, and they're individual, but they're like on top of each other like a network.

Speaker 48 That is just like all of my people,

Speaker 48 my kids, all my friends, my extended family, my attorney, my therapist,

Speaker 48 and all the beautiful betrayed wives that I've connected with on this journey. They're like those petals.
They encircle me with their support and their kindness. and their love.

Speaker 48 And the tattoo is going to be a reminder of how grateful I am for all of them.

Speaker 1 I'm always curious about what compels people to reach out, to come on our podcast and talk about the traumatic betrayals they've experienced.

Speaker 1 So at the end of each story, I want every guest to share their why.

Speaker 1 Here's Stephanie's.

Speaker 48 From the very moment that I found the pictures,

Speaker 48 I knew that I was not willing to keep it a secret.

Speaker 48 Secrets perpetuate abuse.

Speaker 48 I think it's important to get these abusive things out in the open and to talk about them so that other people who are going through it don't feel as isolated and alone as I did when it happened to me.

Speaker 48 Every day when I do yoga, I have a mantra that I will stand in my truth. This is my truth.

Speaker 48 Since the trial, though, that changed.

Speaker 48 Having that legal document that says he did that.

Speaker 48 Now, when I do yoga, I say,

Speaker 48 I am standing in the truth.

Speaker 48 Like it or not,

Speaker 48 I'm going to put it out there.

Speaker 1 On the next episode of Betrayal, a woman's happy marriage takes a terrifying turn when she finds out her husband is a hitman for the cartel.

Speaker 48 Our bedroom door gets bust down.

Speaker 48 Police are pointing guns at both me and him, telling us, put our hands up.

Speaker 1 If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's betrayalpod at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 Also, please be sure to follow us at Glass Podcasts on Instagram for all betrayal content, news, and updates. We're grateful for your support.

Speaker 1 One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review betrayal.
Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners.

Speaker 1 Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 1 The show was executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning,

Speaker 1 written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Fetterman.
Associate producers are Kristen Malkuri and Grace Bollinger. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreinchek.

Speaker 1 Special thanks to Stephanie.

Speaker 1 Audio Editing and Mixing by Matt Delvecchio. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines.
Music library provided by MyMusic.

Speaker 1 And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 51 As moms, we do everything we can to keep our kids safe.

Speaker 52 We babyproof the house, we buckle their seatbelts, we walk them to school.

Speaker 40 But there's one danger we can't ignore.

Speaker 51 In the United States, the number one cause of death for school-aged children is gun violence.

Speaker 42 That's not just a statistic.

Speaker 52 It's a wake-up call.

Speaker 51 That's why Every Town for Gun Safety Action Fund exists.

Speaker 30 We're a movement of nearly 11 million people, moms, teachers, survivors, and students, working together to end gun violence.

Speaker 39 Through Moms Demand Action, we've built volunteer chapters in every state.

Speaker 42 We've helped pass hundreds of life-saving laws. We've shown up at school board meetings, state houses, and the ballot box.

Speaker 30 We're not just hoping for change.

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Speaker 44 If you've ever asked yourself, what can I do?

Speaker 33 Start here.

Speaker 40 Go to everytown.org and donate today because protecting our kids shouldn't stop at the front door.

Speaker 44 It starts with us.

Speaker 32 Make your donation today at everytown.org because together we can build a future free from gun violence.

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.