CSB348: Children Yearn For The 50 Year Lollipop Mortgage

Speaker 0 Yo-Yo.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up?

Speaker 1 So, how'd the process go?

Speaker 1 Very fast.

Speaker 1 So, to those of you not watching the video version of today's podcast, I am extremely bald with just a mustache remaining.

Speaker 1 So, I guess whenever I see these changes, I just think about the times where I've like done the hair stuff and I've been in a bathroom with my head over like a tub, squeezing and going through a bunch of different,

Speaker 1 you know, a bunch of different

Speaker 1 examples of colors and so on. But it sounds like you go to a professional and then professional, oh, ooh, ooh, I'm very quiet.
Hmm.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Woolly is extremely quiet.
Not to me, by the way. I can hear the woolly extremely well.
Hmm.

Speaker 1 Which says to me that

Speaker 1 it's something in OBS.

Speaker 1 Straight. It's my boldness too loud.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I think a setting got played with over here. Give me a second.
Thank you. One second, folks.

Speaker 1 I think that should be fixed. Hey, Wooly, how are you? All right.
Sorry. I think a knob got turned

Speaker 1 during some Street Fighter VI commentary.

Speaker 1 It's definitely possible. Yes.
Okay. There we are.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I was saying that it occurs to me that if you just go to a professional who can professionally, quickly, cleanly just remove all the hair, then this doesn't become as laborous a process as it would seem.

Speaker 1 Yes, it's actually, it was like one of the fastest haircuts I've ever received in my life.

Speaker 1 Just right off.

Speaker 1 and then so it was this fun little moment where he's like hey man so I understand I get you I get you're trying to get rid of the purple right I'm like yeah it's like well I mean it's growing out you could just you just like save it I'm like no

Speaker 1 all of it yeah and he and he looked at me and went all of it I'm like all of it

Speaker 1 I mean you can't explain the story every time it's really hard it's getting like okay so the purple hair I could explain oh it's a bet this one is like

Speaker 1 I look like I'm lying when I, because I am. Yeah, well, I say, oh, no, this was the second part of the bet.
Well, I mean, now you're a cop, is what's happening. Just

Speaker 1 you are an officer of the law.

Speaker 1 Somebody said, I look like fucking Farva from fucking Super Troopers, and it harmed my ass. It harmed my spirit.
Do you own any aviators?

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, shit.
That's my sunglasses. Oh, toys.
Well, then, yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a problem. Yeah, man.
Like, our interactions might get a little bit stiff,

Speaker 1 you know, depending.

Speaker 1 I'm not worried about it. Yeah, you shouldn't be.
Yeah, that's correct. That's the way this works, actually.

Speaker 1 Boy. Well, all right.

Speaker 1 I want to know what the biggest difference is.

Speaker 1 I'm so cold. Cold, cold.
Yeah. I'm like,

Speaker 1 you know, you know that? You know, when you go outside and you put your hat on and you're like, oh, wow, that makes like an incredibly huge difference. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Well, I took off my body's hat

Speaker 1 and now I'm cold inside.

Speaker 1 Like when the dog shivers after a cut. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's funny because like I went to I went to a barber to just do the beard and like I just showed a picture of like a beard that I wanted and the person had short hair too.

Speaker 1 And the dude kind of looked at me, and he went, like, he made, like, he bugged out eyes and went like, top two? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. You're like, no, no.
Stay away from there.

Speaker 1 That's fine. Just down here.
Thank you. You know?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I guess, you know, that, that, how, how long do you think before you, I can already see stubble coming in there. So you're going to.
Yeah, dude, dude, this, this, this. I'm going.

Speaker 1 In order to maintain this, I'm going to be making a second appointment to get it back down.

Speaker 1 So that's the is the question is, is are you going to let the five o'clock come in, but keep it razor and greased up top?

Speaker 1 Are you going to be keeping the top maintained? Yes, I'm going to be

Speaker 1 in two weeks I will shave down what remain what has managed to claw itself back. Because like this is already coming through.
In about a week, it'll be like, you know, that kind of gray,

Speaker 1 you know, but still very bald,

Speaker 1 right? And then after that, like, I'll be visibly having like red. And it's like, no, no, it has to be, it has to be egg.
And the order from on high was that the chops are staying.

Speaker 1 So the order from on high was that once all of this nonsense is over, the chops are to return.

Speaker 1 That that was that was my instructions.

Speaker 1 It must be weird to experience a visceral amount of face silhouette changes in such a short period of time.

Speaker 1 It's been a lot, actually. Yeah, that must actually do something to your identity and your mirror.

Speaker 1 I've gone through some fairly extreme

Speaker 1 head, as you said, head silhouette changes in like two months.

Speaker 1 And I remember, like, I had this, like, with the purple, I was like, the chops was like nothing. Like, ah, all right.
Okay. The purple, I was like, oh, that's okay.

Speaker 1 And then I got used to it after about a week. And then after three weeks, I'm like, I'm done with this.
Right, right. Yeah.
I am, I am, I,

Speaker 1 I am starting to get used to it, like for real.

Speaker 1 And I don't like that. That's weird.
I'm actually a lot more used to this because, I mean, I've cut my hair short, but not this short.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 I'll always remember the first time I put a little bit of like color in my dress,

Speaker 1 and I was like hyperventilating almost. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing, like, this is so extreme.
Why am I doing this? And it was a weird, like, oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
Did I fuck up?

Speaker 1 Is this horrible? You know?

Speaker 1 And I feel like, you know, after a while, it just means nothing. You know, same thing for like piercings and so on.
But there's a little hint of that every time a drastic change occurs.

Speaker 1 So like, I got to ask you. So

Speaker 1 the whole time you've known me, I've been in some various state of male pattern baldness. So, like,

Speaker 1 being precious about my hair has not been a factor. Right, right.
Right.

Speaker 1 If I were to do something dramatic like fucking go purple, I can shave the whole fucking thing off and get back to where I was in three weeks. Yeah.
Like, it's like that. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 I remember you went blondie dreads for a while, and then you had blue, you had green, yellow, and what? All of it. Okay, so when you dye a dread, like, let's say you bleach it, it, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How long is it going to take for that to revert back to the original hair color? So it does. It does grow the whole dread back to the bottom.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it doesn't just suddenly turn back to its original hair color.

Speaker 1 No, it fades. You do have to, it does fade, but then it fades to something that's like, like, just kind of dark and muddy.
So you have to dye back to black, basically.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, that is a lot of fucking work.

Speaker 1 Or you could let the tips go out like ombre, you know, like people like like they do what you do with your hair and then you can more or less like be like at a certain point in the dread i'm okay with it changing but if i want it to go back all black you have to you got to do that okay so that that's the context i needed because you're telling me you're freaking out when you were dying your hair because i was freaking out when i was dying my hair because that was dramatic yeah that was a lot yeah but i knew for a fact it wasn't permanent it wasn't even close to permanent and what i would say too is like what i used to do is i used to have just the tips and i'd mess around with those because i'm like eh eh, cut them, you know, that's fine.

Speaker 1 But whenever I did a full dread, those were the ones where I'd be like, oh, shit, oh, fuck, that's a big deal, you know, because it is.

Speaker 1 I hope this particular one looks good in this color. In this way, yeah, because those are, those are permanent changes.
Those are permanent changes.

Speaker 1 Whatever, whenever you do a full one, it's that's it, you know. Um,

Speaker 1 but uh, yeah, I, I, I, there, there is a, like, I was surprised to learn, I guess, that, like, the, you know, full-on Michael Jordan, like, super shiny bald, like, is an upkeep process that's not that far from doing regular trimming, you know?

Speaker 1 It takes work. It is.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have visibly, like, red sheen on my hair in, like,

Speaker 1 five days. Hmm.

Speaker 1 Is

Speaker 1 the boy reacting to the face shape? Doesn't give a shit. Nothing, huh? Doesn't give a shit.
Man.

Speaker 1 Paige and him met me at the at the barber and I walked out and like, hey, buddy, look at dadass head. And he walked up and he went,

Speaker 1 and slapped me on the top of the head a couple times. Great.
And went, ooh.

Speaker 1 Because I've been conditioned from seeing all these videos online where like dad comes home and he shaved his beard and then the babies cry and they lose their minds, right? Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that was my family. My dad, you've met my dad.
Yeah. My dad has a mustache.
My dad is one of those guys that was born with a mustache.

Speaker 1 But every couple of years, and I mean every couple of years, he would go, ah, fuck it. And he'd shave his mustache.
And I'm like 100% convinced that he'd fucked up trimming it

Speaker 1 and like would be like, ah, shit, I can't be, I can't Charlie Chaplin this. Gotta start over, right? And that would be like a family emergency.

Speaker 1 My mom would be so upset, like real, like she'd be distraught.

Speaker 1 And me and my brother and sister would be like, oh, fucking.

Speaker 1 And like, depending on your age, like, that reaction is still like that strong. But I'm thinking back to even just the simplicity of my nephew that

Speaker 1 maybe like when he was like one year old, one and a half or so, like he was hanging out for, we were hanging out most of the day. And at one point, I just kind of was messing around.

Speaker 1 And I pulled my ponytail out and put the dread down in front. And he freaked out and screamed and ran.

Speaker 1 And like, from his perspective, it looked like a head crab just suddenly descended onto my head like he couldn't understand the concept of the hairstyle changing and what was happening and the silhouette was too much of a it was too much of a scary change and all these black things were suddenly just going ah and it was nightmare you know and like the way he screamed was like a real like okay

Speaker 1 uh kids let me make sure that like at least you know with my girl, I'm like, I'm always showing her different versions and whatnot so that she's just used to idea being like, No, that's how hairstyle it changes.

Speaker 1 Because the way that kid screamed was like,

Speaker 1 like, death was coming. It was wild.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so, so I've clearly dodged that bullet with my guy because, like, you know, when he's one, I shaved the beard off because it comes back in like a week, you know.

Speaker 1 And then I, you know, this and that, and now the purple, and then the mutton chops, now this.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think there's anything I could do to my appearance at this point that would phase him at all. And I would just become green dad or, you know, whatever the fuck.
fuck.

Speaker 1 That works. That's good.
Because, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 well, whatever. We've discussed the idea of like, oh,

Speaker 1 what does dad do for work? You're an internet clown? Okay. Clown.
Hero.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 1 Literally. Clown dad clown.
Oh, I forgot that he saw all the clown stuff. Yeah, he liked Violin J, like, clown.
Nice. It was great.
Good for him.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, like,

Speaker 1 these are all clowns that are meant to intimidate more than to entertain. So if he's rolling with them, then much like all clowns.
I don't like clowns.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I mean, I like it. Well, do you, do you have the fear? Do you have the phobia? So, like, no,

Speaker 1 but like, I find them like a little unsettling. They are, I guess, like a little bit.
But, like, I've never looked at a clown and been like, ooh, yay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.
Ever. I've just always been like, ah, fuck.

Speaker 1 Like, it's not fear, more like distaste or apprehension. Colrophobia.

Speaker 1 Cowlerphobia. Yeah.
That is, that is not, that makes sense because they're not really, they're not settling when you look at them. It's exaggerations in ways that are really weird.
I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like the, the making the eyes look so big, look at making the face look so big. And it's, and it's like too happy, you know? Like, it's, it's, it's, it's all, it's very, very much.

Speaker 1 I respect a sad clown more than a happy clown.

Speaker 1 Um, they're more honest about what's going on in clown shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like it's kind of like fear of heights in a way, where it's like, not everyone is afraid of heights, but everyone should feel a bit like, well, that can kill me. So I don't like that.

Speaker 1 I used to be so afraid of heights that thinking about being in a high place

Speaker 1 would kill my ass.

Speaker 1 Like the idea of standing on top of a cliffside would make me like woozy.

Speaker 1 And then I went to the CN CN Tower and my brother and I kept daring each other to jump up and down on the glass.

Speaker 1 And you because we weren't pussies. Yeah, exactly.
You fucking did it.

Speaker 1 And after that, because have you ever jumped up and down on the glass? No. No.
Oh, it sucks. It's very scary.
Yeah, yeah. You know who else wasn't a pussy?

Speaker 1 That guy that shoulder checked the fucking glass teaching his students. That's right.
That's

Speaker 1 how unbreakable it was. You know, the guy that fucking

Speaker 1 he Urien shoulder tackled the glass on the 80th floor every morning to show those kids just how unbreakable it was.

Speaker 1 That worked out. The glass didn't break.

Speaker 1 It all came out in one piece, I believe.

Speaker 1 According to that. It came out in one piece.
It was the fastenings to the wall that failed.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 Crush.

Speaker 1 See, kids, see?

Speaker 1 Kill.

Speaker 1 That's a great story. That's a great story.
I love that story.

Speaker 1 I just had that thing where I went up to my cousins, like super high up, whatever floor. Like,

Speaker 1 you're in the dozens of floors. You're in the death drop.
It doesn't even matter how high we're at this point. And I'm like, okay, like, looking down, my stomach goes,

Speaker 1 and I'm like,

Speaker 1 I know this is not rational. I know that this should be something where even four or five floors up, you should feel this way or so.

Speaker 1 But you kind of just, I'm like, I'm going to do that thing where I keep a little bit of distance away.

Speaker 1 Just a little bit. And then I kind of realized after like, I would go, I went out and exposed myself a bit more to like, you know, uncomfortable height edge situations.
And then I also remember

Speaker 1 when during

Speaker 1 the like well honeymoon and stuff with me and Punch Bomb, I remember in Quebec City, I saw some people sitting on the ledge of like a bridge just being really irresponsible and legs dangling off to death type of thing, just because, you know, they're the whimsy of it.

Speaker 1 And I realize, I'm like,

Speaker 1 I, it's not the action, I have the fear of heights part is there, but it's way, way less pronounced than the fear of someone I don't trust behind me being stupid or scaring me or pushing me off, right?

Speaker 1 That means you should have a similar fear of standing too close to the edge of the metro. Yes, exactly.
And so when there's the yellow line, same thing.

Speaker 1 Yes, when the yellow line is there and people are standing beyond it and the train is coming, I'm like, are you out of your mind? Why are you so ignorant? Why do you not care about this?

Speaker 1 Why would you, why? Like, I just don't understand that. And I realize it's the exact same thing.
I'm like, it's not the situation. It's the people behind me potentially.

Speaker 1 And not just for the sake of like, oh, that's a crazy person that's going to shove you. The person who's going to be an idiot and go, I'm going to pretend to shove you.
and freak you out.

Speaker 1 And an accident might happen because people are equally as stupid in that scenario too. It's that the fear

Speaker 1 gets brought in from.

Speaker 1 The same fear of that guy on the escalator could just turn around and stab me with a syringe and I would be not fast enough to stop them.

Speaker 1 Sure. Sure.
Same exact thing. Same exact thing.

Speaker 1 But like, I'm thinking that there's something to the idea that like the subway slammer and the friend you have that's pretending to subway slam you are equally threatening. It's a fine line.

Speaker 1 It's a fine line.

Speaker 1 I'm swinging full power on both, you know, for the record. Like,

Speaker 1 like, it's not ha ha. It's we're fighting now.
Like, just that's it, man. You know?

Speaker 1 Um, yeah. Anyways, that, that, that, that's kind of the deal.

Speaker 1 And you just like, I don't know if you trust who's standing behind you or not, but you should feel the same way you do standing at the edge of a train as you do standing on a cliffside.

Speaker 1 So I think the trick to be like, because a lot of people say they're not afraid of heights or they they would not think they're afraid of heights and like heights is a a relative term but it's also something that you don't actually have to deal with in like a huge variety of situations if you fly yeah you're gonna have to deal with heights right but you live in like you know alberta

Speaker 1 and you're not going to work at a skyscraper there's no heights to speak of there are no heights that you will encounter i mean at any point if you're a rig pig and you do one of those like super high-up station things, then you got one of those jobs.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, that's the trick. It's like, hey, go, go watch a video of somebody changing the light bulb on like an antenna

Speaker 1 and those POV fucking antenna, like, got to climb up the two-mile tower to change the singular light bulb. Yeah, to change that one light bulb.
Watch that. And if your body doesn't go, ooh,

Speaker 1 then you're you're fine. You're not afraid of heights.
But mine does.

Speaker 1 I look at those videos and I start to get dizzy, man. That it's very intense.
And also, there's these like

Speaker 1 the super manly changing the oil rig drill

Speaker 1 videos that they have where you slow, you wrap the chain around and you go, and you do the twist. And it's all it's the most manual labor ass man-hard man

Speaker 1 that you've ever seen. But it's also also one of these things where, like, and they're working super high up.

Speaker 1 Like you're, you're on a little platform that, like, yeah, if the wind blows a little bit and it goes boop, that's, you're all gone. That's it forever.
Um,

Speaker 1 and like whenever I see those videos and, and, and they're all greased up and

Speaker 1 doing that, it's, it's Superman at the beginning of Man of Steel, you know, on the boat type of thing. It's that kind of energy.

Speaker 1 But you're also like, every time I see that, there's always someone in the comments going, hey, so

Speaker 1 I work on oil rigs

Speaker 1 in the modern day, and anyone who does this is insane. There's no reason to do it this dangerously anymore.
Jumping over the wires and chains that can rip you to pieces.

Speaker 1 It's just for filming on Instagram and sticking on TikTok and getting the likes and whatnot. Like, anyone who's doing this officially should, one, be wearing a helmet, two, bright high-viz, three,

Speaker 1 tons of like, keeping the work, the area clean and not full of oil and all this stuff.

Speaker 1 So the guy who's shirtless, who's just got his hair blowing in the wind, and is twisting it and looking all hot and doing his whole bit or whatever, is just going to get everybody killed.

Speaker 1 So they don't have a whole lot of life preservation about them.

Speaker 1 It reminds me of my father showing me safety techniques with like woodworking and stuff like that. And then my dad would just not do any of the safety stuff he just showed me was really important.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 1 he'd be like, oh, I don't need to do that. I know what I'm doing.
And I'm like, dad, you are missing a bunch of little bits and pieces of your body.

Speaker 1 You have, you, you, you electrified yourself fixing our

Speaker 1 VHS player. You once thought that your harness was for pussies and just fell off a build site.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Like, you're like, you're super wrong.

Speaker 1 You know, it just, you see the,

Speaker 1 like, there's a whole collection of just like

Speaker 1 whatever OSHA videos you can find online where it's like all right so here's the factory

Speaker 1 love tradey tick tock dude i love trady tick tock so here's the super cool factory where the molten hot metal is coming out super fast and a bunch of people at the end have to like grab it and like flick it around quickly oh i literally saw that video yesterday yeah yeah and then stick it through the next one right and it's like they're all coordinated

Speaker 1 yeah and you're just like wow look at that look at look doing the hard labor and whatnot okay that's cool. And then, of course, while they do that, and

Speaker 1 they skillfully get it in between the rollers, you have the people walking by, jumping over the death molten just to because walking like 15 steps that way to go around it, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Who's got time? Step over the death trap that would get every one of us killed if you happen to trip up going over it.

Speaker 1 If I had to pick a favorite trading TikTok, it's OSHA, it's OSHA violations

Speaker 1 or OHS violations. Just like, just videos of like, these guys are doing the stupidest, it doesn't even save any time nonsense.

Speaker 1 And the other one is guys who post videos, like a lot of welders and a lot of guys who do a lot of grinding, who post videos going, hey, you should wear your head protection.

Speaker 1 And they post the profile shot of their face and then they turn the camera and there's like a six-inch like piece of rebar

Speaker 1 going through their welding mask and stopping like two inches from their face. Yeah,

Speaker 1 man.

Speaker 1 I love the classics, which is just pan up to scaffolding on the side of a building, pan down to the top of one of the major weight load bearing points on a bunch of wood planks.

Speaker 1 Just loose wood, you know. Or like a bag of unmixed concrete that's going to be used for something later.

Speaker 1 So, um, there was, I saw two of these videos in the same week where a dude is outside with a jackhammer and he's just jackhammering into concrete and like just breaking it up.

Speaker 1 And he's got like, he's got a helmet on, he's got some goggles and just going full breath.

Speaker 1 Just like

Speaker 1 whim hoff, wim hoff, breathing in.

Speaker 1 You don't want street long or concrete long or whatever the fuck.

Speaker 1 breathing into concrete and like the person who's filming it is like yeah, so underneath they put the text going so I yelled out to the dude Hey, that's super dangerous. You're giving yourself cancer.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to have somebody to water down what you're breaking into and the dude's like it's just dust. It's fine.
Mind your business. And then

Speaker 1 the person goes to like the

Speaker 1 the the foreman of the site to go like, hey, everyone around this breathing that in is going to be seriously, like life-threateningly in trouble if you don't do this properly.

Speaker 1 And foreman goes, it's just dust. It's fine.

Speaker 1 I've been doing this for 30 years. What do you know? And it's like, okay.

Speaker 1 I know that you're not going to be doing it for 30 more. Oh my God.
And it's just like you see how much water they have to use to keep that shit down.

Speaker 1 And even then, when they breathe it in, it's kind of still risky at that. Dude's just like,

Speaker 1 give me all that concrete, baby.

Speaker 1 It's just for and you, and the hubris. It's a small to fix.
Because you just, it's so easy. It's just, they just,

Speaker 1 like, it takes no time.

Speaker 1 We have bad news for you. You can't be told by someone that is a child that, that, you don't, that you're, you're unprofessional or whatever the case is, you know?

Speaker 1 And of course, that's not a job site where that, like,

Speaker 1 what the fuck is insurance? You know what I mean? Like, the whole, the whole thing. Willie, I have bad news for you.
Yeah. You are also,

Speaker 1 you are also

Speaker 1 a victim of the mentality that will cause this to happen. The number one reason why these guys are doing it is because they don't want to look like a pussy.

Speaker 1 Because nobody, you don't want to look like a bitch.

Speaker 1 And I remember walking into Rooster Teeth and seeing a bunch of dudes just cattle prodding each other like idiots.

Speaker 1 And they talked to us and my brain went, well, I have to get hit with the cattle prod. I'm meeting new people.
I don't want to be the only one not cattle prod.

Speaker 1 And I took the hit first and I looked over at you and I saw the gears turn in your head where you don't want to be the only guy in the room that hasn't been tagged by the cattle prod.

Speaker 1 And you went, yeah, all right. And then they zapped you and then we all laughed about it.
There's no escape from this type of like groupthink, like social dynamic.

Speaker 1 If it's good enough for Johnny Knoxville, then it's good enough for me, I suppose.

Speaker 1 Man, because it was something that wouldn't like harm you, right? It wasn't like, let's jump over an alligator pit. Hey, hey,

Speaker 1 the promising

Speaker 1 billion subs YouTube future requires you to put the pot on your head and do the home reversus bart. Oh,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 Just put the pot on your head. It'll be fine.
And then it'll all pay off, you know?

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I also feel like there was the game where you have to jump from one table to the other. I forgot what that was called, but there was a like,

Speaker 1 there was one of those things where they would like be like, oh, the floor is lava type of thing. And,

Speaker 1 you know, and I'm kind of just thinking, I'm like, one bad trip into the edge of a table underneath the jaw right here. And that's an internal decapitation.

Speaker 1 Like, that's that shit.

Speaker 1 And that's a freebie

Speaker 1 i slipped coming out of the shower like a couple months ago in like an awkward way and like bang like caught myself and like banged my arm on like the corner of like

Speaker 1 you know the the vanity

Speaker 1 and it hurt really bad and then i was like then i like ran i like left my body to like examine like what this would have looked like and i'm like man if i had been like

Speaker 1 a little slower

Speaker 1 or turned 10 degrees more, I could have hit like my fucking neck or my fucking head on this. And then I'd be dead on my bathroom floor from an oopsie, oopsie fall.
That's it. That's all it takes.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And I mean, like, I went a bit overboard with looking around the house and thinking about like, okay, what do we have to put the safety stuff on? Because there's a bunch in here.

Speaker 1 And we've got some time before she's going to be crawling around and even getting mobile. Don't worry.
She'll find the one you missed.

Speaker 1 But there's always, there's always a crevice somewhere in some way, shape, or form.

Speaker 1 You know what one we missed? I'll just tell you right now. There's going to be a point,

Speaker 1 and this point will sneak up on you, where when you go to open the fridge, they're now tall enough to get smacked by the fridge door. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 So instead of opening up the fridge door and it goes right over their head and you're like, hey, buddy, you're going to hear a noise.

Speaker 1 And then you're going going to hear a deep inhale and then you're going to hear, ah!

Speaker 1 I mean, there's one that I caught. There's one that I caught looking at it that I'm like, you know, this would have been like an easy miss, but the bathrooms I have are barn doors.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the, but the bottom track doesn't really keep it in place. The bottom track kind of is loose.
So I'm like, that's a nice little squeezable situation right there if you feel like.

Speaker 1 getting in between it, you know, but then how do you keep it from doing that?

Speaker 1 And it's like, oh, well, you can put a metal thing to keep it in place up top, but then that's now a metal thing that if someone, that if someone's running a little bit too ignorantly, can just hit their head into.

Speaker 1 So do you put a threat to protect against another threat?

Speaker 1 Anyways.

Speaker 1 So, hey, here's

Speaker 1 what I, what I there's all the, all the parents that are friends in life that I've seen to some degree have kind of given up on it and just kind of baby proof the really dangerous stuff. Exactly.

Speaker 1 You do your best and then you know the rest fucking dual one let's rock you know so here's here's the problem the problem is that your your child doesn't have a good grasp of physics until they're like

Speaker 1 15

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 i've seen my little guy catch a door corner wasn't wasn't close enough to the center of the doorway going through and just caught it just right with his face i i've just like just screwed up the distances.

Speaker 1 Like, like, zero children have a concept of any physics or gravity until they're like 15. I watched like a nine-year-old do like five, eight, nine hundreds in front of Tony Hawk the other day.

Speaker 1 And it's like, yeah, even that child does not understand physics. Like,

Speaker 1 none of them do. It's tough, man.
It's like your body proprioception is difficult.

Speaker 1 And like, they don't know how big their heads are. So

Speaker 1 they go to walk under things that they used to be able to walk under, but they can't. The bonk.

Speaker 1 Like, there's really, really, genuinely only so much you can possibly do.

Speaker 1 It's a teaching moment. I also remember like

Speaker 1 that initial, when I was first trying out skateboarding, and I was like, oh man, this seems so dangerous. You're going to fall.
You're going to get scraped up. So many things can go wrong.

Speaker 1 And I remember kind kind of realizing after the first couple falls that it's like, oh yeah, it hurts because you get scraped, but you get used to the overall how to fall thing.

Speaker 1 And then you know how to like flatten your weight out to not take the worst of it and slam your head into concrete.

Speaker 1 But also, like the complexities of falling with or on a bicycle are so much more dangerous because of all the bars and rotating parts and things you can get caught up in versus just a flat board that like you've already been doing the way more dangerous thing your whole life with a bicycle.

Speaker 1 This is nothing by comparison.

Speaker 1 Did me and Paige ever tell you the story of her learning to ride a bike?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so. So

Speaker 1 this caused us to almost crash the car when she told me this story.

Speaker 1 So Paige would get so freaked out and terrified when she was learning to ride a bike that once it got wobbly, she would panic and her brain would just go, I have to get out of here.

Speaker 1 So her mom was like teaching her how to ride the bike. And once that first wobble happened, she'd go, oh, and like leap off the bike onto the pavement.
And she'd go, ah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 I, I, so I did that with skating with um skis. Like, oh, yeah.
I, I, I've told this before, right?

Speaker 1 Because it was like the first time I went with the class on a ski trip, and everyone had skied many times before. I had never skied, so I had to go to the bunny hill and learn how to do

Speaker 1 pizza french fries. Pizza French fries.
It's hard. It's very hard.
And it's a sky.

Speaker 1 I don't like how people who ski take for granted that skiing is hard. Skiing is quite hard.
And take however difficult you think it is. And let's amplify that.

Speaker 1 Because let's say by default, when your feet are facing forward, right? So let's say this is your feet.

Speaker 1 Where are your knees facing? Forward as well. Right.
right? And so you do this and then you go outward and then you go inward to speed up and slow down. Okay, my feet are not like that.

Speaker 1 So when my feet are facing forward, my knees are facing inward because my feet are weird. I have a fucked up thing with my legs where they might not.
You did not know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's been the case my whole life. You got bendy legs?

Speaker 1 I got a weird bendy leg and it means that when I got clipped in the knees playing football, my shit took a while to heal and I got fucked up because my knees are not in a normal position.

Speaker 1 wait, wait, they were fucked up before you got hit? Yeah, they were always like that, right?

Speaker 1 My knees, I have something where it's way easier for me to make both of my feet face toes in touching each other. Oh, I literally can't even do that.
Right? Yeah, than it is to go the opposite way.

Speaker 1 It's just my... I can't do it.
It crushes my balls. No, it's not happening.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I have just a weird natural rotation to my knees. So what that means is when it comes time to speed up and do the pizza, easy, no problem.
I can cross those

Speaker 1 skis over each other. But when it comes time to french fry and slow down, good fucking luck.
I can't. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 I have a really hard time getting out to the 45 degrees, much less any further than that, right?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that means skiing is really rough and I have a hard time all day getting through the process.

Speaker 1 And it basically, after a full day of trying and failing at it, there was a point where it's like, okay, well, you paid all this money to go on the trip.

Speaker 1 So are you not going to go up the mountain even once to try?

Speaker 1 So yeah let me go up i guess and try and see what happens but i have no ability to slow down like everybody else does all i can do is you'll you'll manage

Speaker 1 so cut to me going

Speaker 1 full speed because my my my i'm in pizza form and just zipping down and i'm oh i'm going way too fast now i can't stop we're hitting a bank to a turn and that's a death tree in front of me so all i can do because i can't hit the brakes is literally toss myself onto the ground and bail out and just completely wipe and eat shit and then get back up and then do the next segment of mountain and then up, I'm going too fast, I can't slow down, throw myself on the ground multiple times until eventually.

Speaker 1 Think about how cool you would have been if you had just gone max speed the whole time and then died. And then die, right? Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, I could have been the coolest kid, but instead, and my friends would have loved it. But instead, what happened was I kept throwing myself on the ground.
And eventually that sucked enough.

Speaker 1 And my whole suit was full of snow and I was cold. And I was like, this sucks.
I I hate this. I want to get out of here.

Speaker 1 So I got basically down to like the halfway point and sat on my skis and just had to scoot down the mountain.

Speaker 1 And as I'm scooting down the mountain, fucking Stefan, the loudmouth, is on the ski lift with all the other kids going back up going, ah!

Speaker 1 As I'm scooting and I'm just hearing the echo of the voice of them going up the mountain and fucking Stefan going, ah, look at him, look at him, ah, and everyone's like, what?

Speaker 1 Oh my God, look at him going. I'm like, shut up, shut up.
And I'm scooting down the mountain. And fuck that.
That's the end of my skiing adventure. Never again.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I hated it.

Speaker 1 You had no shot, man. It's done.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. You had a physical handicap that prevented the proper execution of the skiing.
And the Nelson of the class, the loudest kid, was the one to point it out to see first.

Speaker 1 They're always around.

Speaker 1 From the ski lift at the exact same time. So there you go.

Speaker 1 Fuck that. Fuck skiing.
Snowboarding, absolutely super cool. You know, because it's basically like skateboarding and you don't have to do any of that anymore.
Snow surfing skateboarding.

Speaker 1 I never, I got on a skateboard one time.

Speaker 1 I got on a skateboard my last day of high school.

Speaker 1 It was,

Speaker 1 I went to a friend of mine's house and he had a skateboard. He's like, Hey, why don't you try it? I'm like, Well, I just finished all my exams, and I'm now officially not a high schooler anymore.

Speaker 1 Ah, fuck it. Why not? I'll try it.
I don't have a lot of confidence here, but I'll try it.

Speaker 1 And I took one step on it, and it flew right out under my feet, and I like landed directly on my hip and like sprained my ass. And then it had to walk like three kilometers home.

Speaker 1 And I was like, No, I'm done with that. Yeah, no, but don't, but but yeah, but but didn't you hear the cool, like

Speaker 1 uh, Tony Hawk soundtrack in in your back of your head? I was limping for like an hour, it fucking sucked.

Speaker 1 But you didn't think to yourself, oh man, but I can totally like now I can do all those cool like Tony Hawk moves and get that soundtrack going. I managed to even stand on the board.

Speaker 1 This was not made for me.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 You just gotta, you gotta hear the, so here I am getting older all the time

Speaker 1 while you bust your lip open. I felt getting older.
Yes. As I'm limping through my neighborhood.
Younger in my mind. 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Well, in any case,

Speaker 1 that's, you just, it is infinitely more dangerous.

Speaker 1 And then the other thing, too, that I remember as well is when it comes to bikes, there was a, there was someone not in my neighborhood, but near the school I went to.

Speaker 1 There was like a girl that got hit and unfortunately died from like a crash. But I remember that the description was about how the handlebars turned sideways and it was just awful, you know.

Speaker 1 And I'm just like, this bike can be so much worse of a death trap. So

Speaker 1 to a parent or a mom that's kind of just like, skateboards are so much more dangerous. It's like, yeah, if you're, if you're comfortable with a bicycle, like, I, I, I disagree.

Speaker 1 A skateboard is way more dangerous. You can get you can't

Speaker 1 say higher speeds and much better control on a a bicycle. The thing is, the things that

Speaker 1 people do on a skateboard tend to be pretty dangerous.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to do cool tricks and stuff, right? On a bicycle, it's mainly about the transportation, admittedly. Here's the thing, though.

Speaker 1 When you're on your skateboard, you're not actually physically holding on to the skateboard. No, no, you're balancing it.

Speaker 1 When you're on your bicycle, you are, in fact, holding on to the bicycle. There is a very significant difference in inertia when something attempts to remove you from your form of transit.

Speaker 1 I would say so. Be it force or wind or ice.

Speaker 1 And I guess the context also matters too, because if you're biking in traffic with other vehicles and stuff versus if you're skating, if you're skating in traffic, you're insane, first of all. So no.

Speaker 1 But I was, my friends and I were never skating in that context. We were in parking lots and in going to

Speaker 1 skate parks and shit like that.

Speaker 1 So it was also like removed from the like the transportation side of things which i have some friends that would longboard to get around you know they kind of like jump on oh i hope bad things happen to them they would they would they would hit the bike trails and stuff it was it was it was fine ultimately i i had friends back in that just came out um yeah i know that's a pretty i don't know why because back in like some of the people that from uh dawson from the college era you know would longboard around as just a means of getting around it was it was fine you know ultimately but for those of you who don't uh watch the video version of this show i am am just closing my eyes and a squint and just shaking my head in a grimace.

Speaker 1 Just like, no,

Speaker 1 it's fine.

Speaker 1 No, it's long voice. It's fine.
No,

Speaker 1 no. You hit a bike path.
You're good. You know.

Speaker 1 Bike paths are for cyclists.

Speaker 1 And people on motorized vehicles

Speaker 1 or people on wheel vehicles and things like that. You know,

Speaker 1 it's fine. But

Speaker 1 it's not a vehicle. It's a fucking piece of cardboard with some wheels stuck to it

Speaker 1 in in any in any case in any case, I do feel that like um

Speaker 1 that when you are on your bike with your friends getting up to some stupid shit and get hurting yourself, you know, like it is the the ways you could hurt yourself uh are amplified by based on the type of vehicle versus like the the skateboard thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, kind of like jumping into a um a shopping cart, right? A shopping cart's gonna murder you, but mainly because a shopping cart is not meant for a human being to be in it.

Speaker 1 So those wheels are absolute dog shit. You know, the bearings are terrible.
They're always ungreased. There's always one that's rickety and about to fall off.

Speaker 1 And then the rest of that shit is going to just fall on top of you. And, you know, if you're, if you're lucky like me, you get a big scar right in the middle of your forehead of your forehead from it.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 Well, my big scars are hidden.

Speaker 1 No skull dents.

Speaker 1 In my hairline. No skull dents.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I got some skull dents. dents.
Okay, because yeah, those those are permanent, those stay, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, so people are pointing out that I have like a really dramatic headphone dent, but then I took a like a much closer look, and it's not even, it's actually way deeper on one side, and I'm like, oh, I think that's like old damage.

Speaker 1 You mean, like, you mean, like, the side curves,

Speaker 1 yeah. So, like, you know, that, you know, the, the, the goes from like your temples to the top of your head or whatever, right?

Speaker 1 Uh, like, it's way deeper on one side. I'm like, ooh, I think I, think that's like a hit I took at some point, actually,

Speaker 1 that I just ignored. The jelly bean, the jelly bean curve, hmm, yeah, oopsie.
Okay,

Speaker 1 oh well, how's your week? Uh, so I woke up a couple days ago, uh, and took my toddler downstairs. And I was like, hey, how are you doing, buddy? He's like, good,

Speaker 1 nice,

Speaker 1 and I'm like, oh, this is going to be so sick. Fuck yeah.
And by this, I mean me.

Speaker 1 So the child is ill.

Speaker 1 And he's doing that cool version of toddler illness where he's actually completely fine. Okay.
Other than the fact that he's exploding with disease. And everybody else is getting it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 Paige is starting to get sick.

Speaker 1 And the way that it works in my family is the toddler gets sick. Paige starts to get sick.
Toddler gets better. Paige is in the worst of it.
Now it's time for me to get it. Yeah, it has to be last.

Speaker 1 I'm always last. It's got to cook.
It's got to cook in the chamber.

Speaker 1 And so, what this leads to invariably is during times when no one's doing a chore, no one's working, when Paige is in that throes of it, like, you know, like fighting her demons. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 The child is now completely fine. Yep.
And I'm starting to fight my demons.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you would probably be fine immune system-wise, but you take that disease, throw that some bitch in the lupus chamber, let it cook for a minute i gotta tell you spit it back out

Speaker 1 i i gotta tell you

Speaker 1 fucking stoked we all got our covid and flu shots like two weeks ago yeah like couldn't be more stoked apparently the uh apparently the flu this year fucking sucks shit

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 very happy with that so uh that's a that's a work in progress okay that's who can see it's dude and he's doing that toddler cough with the tongue all the way out and like curved to really expel the most amount of coughing.

Speaker 1 Getting maximum.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And then we got to have the parents' conversation, which I'm sure you'll have with Punch Mom, where they're like, he's asking to go to

Speaker 1 the, you know, the...

Speaker 1 the activity gym or right right right yeah place the super spreaderification

Speaker 1 he is he is like coughing his ass off like it's it's quite quite common right he's he's yeah we're not gonna get through a two-hour period without him coughing all over somebody should we take him and it's

Speaker 1 you don't want to be the parent who takes their child and takes the sick child and makes everybody else sick on the other hand That is a parent.

Speaker 1 We are apparently the only parents in the world that even have that discussion at all because everybody just does it.

Speaker 1 Every fucking parent brings their fucking sick children and there's something special too about the toddler cough that is like it is the most idyllic one when you think of like what a virus wet dream is for like the type of cough it wants a person to emit it's the toddler's like

Speaker 1 nothing blocking yeah that's the one zero like attempt to dodge it i'm just gonna do whatever i'm doing except open my mouth and project disease in the whichever way i'm facing oh ah

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 yeah, full send. The full send toddler cough is just so, so obviously the end result was, you know, we're staying home for a week, two weeks, whatever it is.

Speaker 1 But, cause, you know, get a, get a mask on a toddler, like, fucking good. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 But, like, there's, there's this added level of frustration where it's like you start to catalog the people in your neighborhood and the places that you go that don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 And you start to figure out, like, there's only like 10 families that are like at risk for the reasons that my family gets sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Yeah.
And you, you see them, you get to know them, and you get to, you get to just fucking seethe.

Speaker 1 I mean, well, so again, and I'm assuming not counting the ones who are like having their full-on cough parties that are just like, no, good, actually. Yes, bring it all in.

Speaker 1 Let's just, let's just look at each other and just go,

Speaker 1 You know, so anyway. So

Speaker 1 that's been fun.

Speaker 1 I also

Speaker 1 played some games and I watched a live awards program.

Speaker 1 The golden joysticks happened this week.

Speaker 1 It did.

Speaker 1 It sure did.

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 1 I was waiting to see if Paige would react to being called a hyperbolic lupus chamber, but it seems.

Speaker 1 I think she might actually be busy busy taking care of our child. Okay, that's fair.
All right. Just checking.
It's possible. Okay.

Speaker 1 She'll get to you later. All right.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 the golden joysticks, you remember a couple, I don't know if it was last year or the year before, but where like Troy Baker was like visibly drunk on stage

Speaker 1 and it was just really shitting it up.

Speaker 1 These things all blend together in my brain, but I remember this being just an absolute waste of time Was the disaster how the previous iterations of it went. Well, Woolly,

Speaker 1 it's only a waste of time,

Speaker 1 depending on your perspective. Do you want to see a cool awards show that respects the work of video game developers and also puts on a decent show? Yes, that is a colossal waste of fucking time.

Speaker 1 One of the biggest wastes of time ever.

Speaker 1 However, do you kind of miss E3 presentations from Konami and Sega?

Speaker 1 If so, and some people, I just realized that's

Speaker 1 10, 15 years old.

Speaker 1 If you kind of miss that, you can watch The Golden Joysticks.

Speaker 1 I was talking with Paige about this.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I personally believe she thinks the Troy Baker drunk one was worse. I think this is the worst year they've ever done.
I think this is the worst show they've ever done.

Speaker 1 So, so I guess you just have to then, based on what you're saying, it's really just it's content farming, right? It's putting

Speaker 1 we know how bad this is, so we're putting this out so you can live react and create content from it.

Speaker 1 Well, they

Speaker 1 golden joysticks contacted me personally through my business email. I was like, hey, do you really want to co-stream it? I'm like, I was gonna.

Speaker 1 Do you want to join the Discord to get no?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I'm just gonna cover what the fuck. Anyway,

Speaker 1 so to start, I don't know if you're familiar with Maggie Robertson. She's the lady who played Lamy Dimitresk in Resident Evil Village.
Cool.

Speaker 1 She also co-hosted, I think it was the Future Games show with David Hayter last year. Okay.

Speaker 1 They should

Speaker 1 not

Speaker 1 ask her to do these.

Speaker 1 They should not.

Speaker 1 Just not

Speaker 1 cut for the hosting?

Speaker 1 I see people in our live chat saying she was trying her best and other people going, no.

Speaker 1 No, she's not. Okay.

Speaker 1 Are we hitting Aisha Tyler or are we talking Girlwood? Oh, this is much, much worse. Are we?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 here's the main problem. Okay.
Here's the big problem. Aisha Tyler was given dog shit to read,

Speaker 1 but is like effortlessly charming. Yeah, right.
No,

Speaker 1 she was given a prompter of trash.

Speaker 1 Maggie Robertson was given like super dog shit to read and also is just straight up not cut out to host one of these shows.

Speaker 1 In particular, she wandered away. Like, she'd finish the thing and like walk off stage so they could present.

Speaker 1 And then she would forget that she was presenting and have to visibly sprint back to the podium. Okay.
It happened like four times. Okay.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then at one point, her teleprompter just straight up broke.

Speaker 1 And she had to vamp,

Speaker 1 which people who don't know, vamping is just like just stall for time. Stall for time.

Speaker 1 And it was, it was

Speaker 1 fucking dire.

Speaker 1 It was pretty bad.

Speaker 1 But to be fair, to be very, very fair to Maggie Robertson,

Speaker 1 she

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 by no means the worst part of the television program.

Speaker 1 The program itself

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 slapdash piece of shit.

Speaker 1 One of the worst ever I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 And it's with our friend and mine, your friend and mine,

Speaker 1 catastrophic audio problems. Ah, yes.

Speaker 1 My old friend. Now, is there at least new announcements to pad some of this? Three trailers for survival co-op games on Steam.

Speaker 1 You know that game? That game that comes out every two months?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there were a couple of those with that.

Speaker 1 Was there a primarily award-based? Okay. Was there a hot new

Speaker 1 super zoomed out phone game with Xbox 360 particle effects and some sort of vague fantasy setting?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. No? Okay.

Speaker 1 No, it was primarily about the awards. And I can't, I wish, if you were the person who said this first, it was a YouTube comment, but I'll never be able to find it now, right?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to look for it now.

Speaker 1 Basically, they said,

Speaker 1 Oh, this, I found it. This was a comment on my video, my upload of the VOD from Cast Form 57 three days ago.
The golden joysticks is such a brilliant format.

Speaker 1 Have all the developers, et cetera, there to have dinner and drinks. And over the course of the show, they become increasingly drunk and less interested in the show.

Speaker 1 It seems like the audio production people pre-gamed a bit too hard and were sloshed before the show even started.

Speaker 1 As this person describes, every single year, as the show goes on and people whose categories are over

Speaker 1 are like, well, I'm not going to have to go up, so I'm going to just eat it.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 They just get louder and louder and louder and louder.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 every single year, someone has to go, hey, we're doing awards up. Can you we all be quiet and disrespectful? Like a high school auditorium.

Speaker 1 And do we hear like fat ass in the background being like, fuck you?

Speaker 1 It also says a lot that there are like a fair number of winners of nominations that just didn't go to the event at all. Sure.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Now, now, now, the other thing is that, like, I'm getting a little lost in, like, there's a bunch of, it's award show season, right? So

Speaker 1 because there's, there's the golden joysticks, there's the TGAs, called the TGAs.

Speaker 1 There's awards, the Streamer Awards, and

Speaker 1 the not the Oscars. The, well, no, no, was that it? Whatever.
The one that just snubbed Expedition 33. The Grammys.
The Grammys, you know,

Speaker 1 getting into video games as well and stuff. So, yeah, there's a lot of this kind of overlapping in my brain, and I have not heard a single good thing about any one of them.

Speaker 1 Oh, I gotta stop you. I just got sent the wrong email

Speaker 1 from somebody. I gotta screenshot this.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 I gotta, I gotta, I gotta send this to you. I just, somebody just sent me the wrong email.

Speaker 1 Just got sent

Speaker 1 hundreds of codes

Speaker 1 for a Nintendo Switch game. That's not for you.
That was clearly not supposed to be sent to me. That's unfortunate.
That's rough.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, no.
Well,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 we can do the right thing here.

Speaker 1 I'm going to email them back and be like, I don't think you meant to send this to me.

Speaker 1 Damn. Like, there are pages and pages and pages.
I see. Yeah, that's ridiculous.
That's kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And it's award season. Golden Joysticks is purely fan-voted.

Speaker 1 It's 100% fan-voted. That's why it purports to be the most legitimate one.

Speaker 1 Right? Sure. Because the Grammys are the Grammy organization and the TGAs are critics and like a little bit of fan voting.
But Golden Joysticks is 100% fan voted. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So on, because, okay, because... It's the Golden Globes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because the, I believe that's why it's called the Golden Joysticks, actually. The Academy is 100% Slurp.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then each step down from that is different degrees of slurp.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Cool.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 Maggie, I keep getting her name wrong. I keep calling her Robinson, but it's not

Speaker 1 Robertson. Lady D.

Speaker 1 She's not doing a great job, but she's trying, right?

Speaker 1 Um, we then cut to, and I'm trying to find the name of the band.

Speaker 1 Susie, you should totally launch the Golden Sphere Awards. That's way better.
Yeah. Do it.
Um, where are they?

Speaker 1 I want a nice slide. Does anybody remember the name of the band that was there? It was the Something Experience.

Speaker 1 I'm seeing a nice golden statue of like just

Speaker 1 a chair from the front seat of a car, like laid flat with a Susie in it as the little golden statue. Perfect.

Speaker 1 I can't actually find them. That's weird.
Anyway, regardless of

Speaker 1 they brought out a lady band

Speaker 1 that was going to do a song right at the beginning.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, that's fucking weird, but okay.

Speaker 1 And the live audio, the live band decides to do a cover of Golden

Speaker 1 From K-pop Demon Hunters,

Speaker 1 which is then later explained afterwards, despite having nothing to do with video games at all. Because the golden joysticks, yeah, it's the golden joysticks.

Speaker 1 So they set up to do what I was to assume would have been a pretty good cover of Golden, which is an incredibly difficult song to sing, regardless. And the lead singer squares up, starts singing.

Speaker 1 And then I caught the exact moment I screenshot it and put up on Blue Sky that she realized her microphone had not been turned on. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 The band is called Sonaris Ensemble. Oof, brutal.

Speaker 1 So the mixing on every instrument and also

Speaker 1 her microphone was just off. It was off.

Speaker 1 And she wasn't pulling a lotus juice where it was totally on, but she was just like, I fuck up the lyrics. Oh, this mic ain't working.
Hello? What's going on? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Like, she starts singing, and there's nothing. Fuck.
Like, you can see her singing. There is nothing.

Speaker 1 And you got to really

Speaker 1 pull it out for that song, too. Like, and then halfway through.
Yeah, you do, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're going. And then halfway through, Maggie Robertson just jumps onto the stage with a different microphone and a roomie jacket on to join in.
And I'm like, what the f?

Speaker 1 What the fuck is happening?

Speaker 1 What actual fuck is happening? Okay.

Speaker 1 What are these? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we got to do the awards, which the awards part was like fairly normal.

Speaker 1 People won their awards and they gave their little speeches and they were very happy to happy to be there and they were very proud to get it, and they should be.

Speaker 1 But what we got to see is that

Speaker 1 either the microphone they gave to Robertson was too sensitive, or they had actually mic'd the crowd for like reactions.

Speaker 1 So, what we kept having is every time there was like a video on the screen, or like, you know, developers who couldn't be there, and you know, they'd send a video package.

Speaker 1 Instead of direct feed audio from that what we would get is the room audio

Speaker 1 so we would get the microphone that was in the crowd hot hot crowd the video presentation okay so it was like inaudible yeah with crowd noise and sounded like garbage okay okay um and it took it was a two-hour show it took an hour and 40 minutes for them to turn the knob to direct feed.

Speaker 1 And then they immediately broke it and turned it back to the crowd. Like it was just a complete mess the whole way around.
Nice, nice, nice, nice. Yep.

Speaker 1 In good news,

Speaker 1 they have a much smarter best performance category in that they have a more Oscar-like category for voice acting and mocap performance.

Speaker 1 And that is best supporting performance and best performance,

Speaker 1 which meant that at the Golden Joysticks, Jen and Ben both got to win their performance awards. What was it before? So and Mael.
What was it before versus what is it now?

Speaker 1 So at Golden Joysticks, they have best supporting and best actor, essentially. Okay.
Whereas at the game awards, it's just best performance. Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Ben and Jen got to win both of their awards. Gotcha.
Is this why Charlie Cox was talking about why

Speaker 1 he's like, I shouldn't be getting the award for this. It should be the Mocap.
Well, that's for the game awards. Okay, okay.
Um, because um, uh, Charlie,

Speaker 1 because Mr. Cox continues to not know what a video game is and would feel bad that he would win.
Well, because he's like, I did like one day's work or whatever, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, his whole thing is just like, he's like, Yeah, it was cool, but I barely, you know, I just showed up, I did the thing, I was out of there.

Speaker 1 Now everyone's patting me on the back, and I'm like, really?

Speaker 1 In a sea of just charmless, gormless, gourmless fucking trash,

Speaker 1 Ben Starr presented an award and was just bursting with charm and humor and handsomeness and completely stole the fucking show.

Speaker 1 And then when Jen went and got her award, similarly so, she was like jumping up and down with joy and yelling about how gay she is and how that, how she's channeling all of her queer love into her work and all that good stuff.

Speaker 1 What a

Speaker 1 bolster. I feel like charming voice actors are like

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 industry mascots, like taking over

Speaker 1 in a time of a million shitty stories and everything sucking with it. It's awesome to have bits like Ben and Alex Lay and just all these really super fun, charming voice actors

Speaker 1 leaning into it and doing the thing and just

Speaker 1 becoming the

Speaker 1 sorry after you. No, no, no, no, just anyway.
Everyone's like, yeah, that. This is good.
Please, more of this. Love it.

Speaker 1 So Ben came up to present the awards with a giant Bellatro card cut out around his head. Excellent.

Speaker 1 And gave a speech about becoming an actor and

Speaker 1 how crippling complete freedom is because no one tells you no, even when it's a clearly rubbish idea. And so you end up floating god-awful ideas.
And everyone around you goes, great.

Speaker 1 Let's go measure your head for the card, Ben. Cool one.

Speaker 1 And you just become totally trapped in your own silly nightmare. Genuinely great bit.
The only funny bit of the whole time.

Speaker 1 And then we, you know, the event continued as a complete technical disaster.

Speaker 1 They had the executive producer of the show give an award,

Speaker 1 which I was astonished because we're an hour in, and the place was like doing everything but burn down.

Speaker 1 And then Jim Jarvis gets up on stage and goes, I'm the executive producer of the golden joysticks. And I'm like, I would never tell anyone.
Thanks for putting a name and a face to it.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Crazy.
And it's the specific role, too, right? Executive producer. Oh, this is you.

Speaker 1 All of this. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Real bold. Nice.

Speaker 1 It's good.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 Sonaris

Speaker 1 did a medley of the Ultimate Game of the Year nominations,

Speaker 1 which the production ruined.

Speaker 1 All things considered, probably a pretty good medley.

Speaker 1 They didn't used to do that.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 the event is actually

Speaker 1 copying the game of the year. TGAs.
Yeah. TGAs.
Because I don't remember them doing that in the past.

Speaker 1 But the medley was,

Speaker 1 would have been good if not for two things. One, they're doing a medley of like a wide variety of musical styles, but the Sonaris Ensemble is like five players.

Speaker 1 Like they do not have.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 they had a lead singer, two guitarists,

Speaker 1 keyboard, and something else. Didn't have any horns.
Didn't have... I don't think I didn't see a drum kit up there.
Like, like, not enough for a medley of, oh, it's only four.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it was two guitar, one singer, and a keyboardist.

Speaker 1 Oh, violin. My mistake.
Okay. But not enough.
So

Speaker 1 they went for the TGA thing, but like had to come up. Right? Yeah.
And it's like, I feel bad for them because like what are they supposed to do?

Speaker 1 They don't have a drum kit up there and they're trying to do this. No flute man.

Speaker 1 And so for no, no, no, no. And so, for example, they did like a song from Silent Hill F

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 the song from Silent Hill F, I legit couldn't recognize it, couldn't tell what it was. Oh, because Silent Hill F's soundtrack is made with exclusively traditional Japanese instruments,

Speaker 1 of which there were zero,

Speaker 1 and like legitimately could not

Speaker 1 figure it out. But on top of that, the absolute kicker.
You know, when the Game Awards does their big medley

Speaker 1 and they'll switch into a game and they'll do the transition, Okami three,

Speaker 1 they'll get the big title on the screen

Speaker 1 and then the footage and it flows really nicely. You know it would be way better if during the part where the singer is doing the vocal transition from one song to the next,

Speaker 1 you have somebody go, Claire Obscure, Expedition 33. Aww,

Speaker 1 boo.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so lame.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Dude, just, I felt so bad for them.

Speaker 1 Fuck. You can't even let it speak for itself.
Yeah. Just felt so bad for them.
Just god-awful.

Speaker 1 I, I, it's terrible. Yeah, Susie's even here.
It's terrible. Well, just god-awful.
You got a name in a face now.

Speaker 1 And I know,

Speaker 1 I know

Speaker 1 in my heart that Sonaris Ensemble is also not happy with how that performance went and how they

Speaker 1 were set up to fail. Right.
because they showed up in the comments of my 6,000 view VOD. Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Holy shit.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's that sucks. That's that is the behavior of someone going golden joysticks.
God fucking damn it. Let's just go through it.
And

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 1 It's like they absolutely did the best with what they could. And when it's hard to do a good show when someone's talking over you and your instruments aren't plugged in, man.

Speaker 1 And like the discipline of

Speaker 1 setting up, you know, mics and everything and being an audio engineer for a live production award show versus live instruments and such is like it's a different thing. You need different people.

Speaker 1 It's a whole other beast, you know? And if they're barely getting the mics working during the rest of the show, you think the fucking music is going to work out any better? Like, yeah, that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, this was god-awful.

Speaker 1 Very, very terrible to watch

Speaker 1 great watch so glad i i watched it so i hate so much that i watched it what a good use of my time

Speaker 1 for real but also sarcastic

Speaker 1 and nothing of value was lost And I remember because I was talking with people on social media the day before and people were just like,

Speaker 1 we go through this period of complaining about the game awards and how corporate and stacked and how the nominations are all rigged and how the indie category for the game awards is like the most fucked up thing you've ever seen and how bad Jeff Keely sucks.

Speaker 1 And I'm watching this thing and I'm like, well, Jeff's fucking microphone is turned on when I watch the game awards. Right, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Like, this is my fucking,

Speaker 1 this is my fucking alternative.

Speaker 1 it's whatever i i i'm i'm i'm exhausted of my own takes and and such but i'm like i i could be comfortable i hate that i know exactly what you mean right you're like my own take is exhausted

Speaker 1 i'm pre-exactly i'm pre-tired i'm pre-tired before i even say it

Speaker 1 but like if we lived in a world where each of these studios just put out a little video with them holding their thing going, hey, thanks.

Speaker 1 We, you know, everyone for the award and for the non-we got to the category. This is what we got for the award for the game.

Speaker 1 And wait, they just put out their own message and there didn't have to be any of this fucking clown shoes event to begin with. You know, I wouldn't care.
It'd be great.

Speaker 1 Let the let the people that did the cool thing get the recognition and none of this colossal embarrassing fucking

Speaker 1 well. The idea is.
Fart carnival.

Speaker 1 The idea is like at a like an ideological level is that people who work in the games business are inherently just as creative as people who work in the music or film or TV businesses.

Speaker 1 And they feel, and I think this is like a fair

Speaker 1 emotion. They feel that they should probably get the same kind of

Speaker 1 recognition and

Speaker 1 pomp and circumstance that you can.

Speaker 1 Like every other big medium gets and a reason to dress up in a tux.

Speaker 1 you can number crunch it or whatever the fuck, but like, you know, every single fucking year at the Oscars, some piece of shit that no one ever saw wins some fucking award, and everybody goes, huh?

Speaker 1 And you're at home doing the audio design for Silent Hill F, which is fucking immaculate. I imagine you're sitting there, I fucking deserve an award more than that.

Speaker 1 And you're watching like Denzel with his tux holding up the Oscar going, like,

Speaker 1 and you're like, oh,

Speaker 1 yes, yes, there's a prestige that this medium gets that others don't get. I think Ben and Jen deserve to stand at a podium and fucking hold up an award.

Speaker 1 But then there's just all the bullshit, though. But there's always the bullshit.
And every 12 months, we got to fucking go look at the bullshit and go, why is it all bullshit? You know?

Speaker 1 It's just, it's just tiring every time.

Speaker 1 I think it's actually really funny because every time we do this,

Speaker 1 it ends up being this thing of like, it should be better. And then I always go, better like what?

Speaker 1 And then they name any other award show and i go that one is actually way more fucked up than you think it is it's just older and has old media appeal and and and whatever it's like well they should have they should have like a huge amount of voters like the oscars they should have like 14 000 people that vote in the oscars and yes i know that for literally fucking 90 to 100 years, none of those people were actually even required to watch the movies they voted on.

Speaker 1 But like,

Speaker 1 isn't that better? Yeah, I get like I'm just

Speaker 1 it's just because it's like there's a thing that happens because you're you are completely correct that the people who do these super sick things deserve recognition for that and deserve to have a knife for that as well, you know.

Speaker 1 But then there's just the kind of thing of like

Speaker 1 a thing that no one actually gave a fuck about can come out of nowhere and then just either just cause shit stirring for no reason or be like, like, the shitty production is one side of it, the discourse is another, you know, and like when you have shit where um so what's been happening simultaneous to like all this is like uh lily pichu and the streamer awards bullshit and a bunch of shitty FGC gatekeeping

Speaker 1 I mean it's not even worth it but the long story short is that even that Sejam is like yo people are giving Lily Pichu shit for being like not FGC enough despite having done super awesome things and bringing a lot of people in and whatnot and a lot of a lot of people that have done nothing in their times being a part of the community are upset at like, because they want to pull through the gatekeeping thing and be like, this person is not hardcore enough.

Speaker 1 They're not reaching an audience that is more enough like me. Yada, yada.
You're not valid. You're not the person that should be getting fighting game streamer awards or whatever.

Speaker 1 And it's just like this, this complete nonsense bullshit that comes up where it's like,

Speaker 1 like none of this conversation, none of this mattered a second ago.

Speaker 1 And then now that it's, it's just, it it's like a pc media stuff is real crabs in a bucket shit yeah so it's it's net it's net toxic terrible you know and i'm kind of like oh i just i hate that this comes out of nowhere for no reason you know um

Speaker 1 and uh it would be nice if like there were were a way to just just

Speaker 1 cut the cancer out and let the people who deserve the recognition get it, but I don't know how to do that. I also don't watch or really care that much about

Speaker 1 these things as a whole you know yeah here's the other problem right you think about the oscars and the academy and all that that's like a self-sustaining rich person's pat yourself on the back show

Speaker 1 uh games don't have that level of cachet so what do you got to do you have to also turn it into e3

Speaker 1 Yes, you got to reveal big things and get the

Speaker 1 people tuning in for a reveal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people only watch that shit because of the fucking the the because the Bloodborne and Silk Song will be there and it's yeah, I don't watch the Oscars because they're not gonna show off Bloodborne at the Oscars.

Speaker 1 Yes, you have to. I would just look at the fucking results later and go, oh, good for them they won.
Right. But no, gamer bait is required 100%.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Or even just

Speaker 1 the gamer, the bait in the form of Hideo Kojima standing on stage with Jordan Peele. Yeah.
You know? Yeah, but also, like, you look at the Oscars and, like, the Oscars is also an ad.

Speaker 1 It's just a far less effective ad because the Oscars is the ad for the actor.

Speaker 1 Right. Look at Denzel Washington.
He won an Oscar again.

Speaker 1 This means that when we put his name on the next movie trailer and get to put a number of Oscars next to his name, this will increase the likelihood you will go see the movie because he has this many Oscars.

Speaker 1 Of course. And there are only 30 people that there are only 30 actors in Hollywood.
Yes. that's there is a there's a hard cap.
There are 30 actors. We cycle through them to get projects made.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or I'm really looking forward to the Game Awards, especially now. Especially after,

Speaker 1 like, I, I will,

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 I have already set up my anti-discourse field,

Speaker 1 which is, I don't, I'm, I'm just set, I'm just, you know what? I'm just going to start setting conditions on whether or not you can engage in a topic.

Speaker 1 If you did not watch the golden joysticks at 8 a.m. Pacific, I don't want to hear your opinions on the game awards.
It was an 8 a.m. show

Speaker 1 on top of all of that shit.

Speaker 1 Wow. Like, I watch them all.

Speaker 1 Okay. You couldn't pay me.
And you literally do.

Speaker 1 They didn't.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. But like, like for us, like, you literally.
Oh, it's lucrative. Yeah.
No, you couldn't pay me. And you, and our job is literally to get paid to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it would have been 11 a.m. for you.
All right. So that's considerably more crazy.
Dude. Jesus.

Speaker 1 So upsetting. All right.
Well, anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that was a train wreck.

Speaker 1 The only thing of note is that the winners, I can't remember all of them. Peak won best, I believe, one best indie.

Speaker 1 And I feel that's deserved.

Speaker 1 Expedition 33 was not up for the indie categories at the Golden Joysticks, which I think was the correct decision.

Speaker 1 Expedition 33 did, however, win every award it was nominated for. There you go.
E3.

Speaker 1 Both performance awards. More like E33.

Speaker 1 You want to try it again? Nope.

Speaker 1 Because people are going with sweep. Sweep.

Speaker 1 Swift 3-3-P, man.

Speaker 1 Swith3-3P.

Speaker 1 Swithree Threep.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's pretty clear that that game is going to win the most awards of any game that's ever been

Speaker 1 awards. It fucking should.

Speaker 1 I remember talking to Paige after I beat it, and I'm like, Expedition 33 is farther away from its contemporaries than Baldur's Gate 3 was.

Speaker 1 And that shit was way

Speaker 1 out there as an obvious win.

Speaker 1 I feel bad because

Speaker 1 it feels like Expedition 33 kind of erased metaphor from the group psyche.

Speaker 1 And metaphor.

Speaker 1 And metaphor was really good, but just it wasn't fucking clear obscure. Like, simply

Speaker 1 simple was last year, so you know, it had its shot.

Speaker 1 Um, yeah, okay, fair enough. I, I, I, I, I stretch that together, but I suppose it is true.

Speaker 1 That is a different category. I am so ready for the is Expedition 33 a debut indie discourse discourse.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 and the, the, and the answer is no,

Speaker 1 They need to change those categories. Those categories need to have team limits or budget limits.

Speaker 1 Because the actual signifier of indie as self-published

Speaker 1 is ridiculous. I can't wait.

Speaker 1 It's absurd.

Speaker 1 I can't wait for the perfect absolute nightmare discourse game of something that comes along that is kind of an action game that has like leveling, that has a corpse run, and a little bit of gacha, and a little bit of, you know, and a little bit of online, a little bit of playing with your friends together, kind of co-oping, but also a massive single-player campaign and

Speaker 1 just completely ruin all categories forever. I feel like we're heading towards the absolute nightmare game.
Categories are bad. In the next five years.

Speaker 1 I think in the next five years, we're going to have the worst possible candidate game come out that hasn't just ever been. I saw Monster Hunter Wilds is on the list for best RPG, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 they put Monster Hunter on the RPG category every year, and every year I go, no, it's not. That's fucking weird.
That's super dumb.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 God-awful. God-awful golden joysticks.
Bad show.

Speaker 1 Anything else

Speaker 1 for you this year? Yeah, I started playing Dispatch.

Speaker 1 That is the game made by Ad Hoc, who is made up of people who used to work at Telltale.

Speaker 1 And I believe

Speaker 1 published by Critical Role, right? Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I saw that, like, straight up, I dispatch was something I was about to crack open and do an LP of alongside E33,

Speaker 1 but I had to pull the schedule back because of baby reasons. So we're going to have to chill for a minute.
But I absolutely saw and was interested in doing this dispatch for.

Speaker 1 Would you like some pro tips

Speaker 1 when it comes to episode four. Perhaps mute the sound, but zoom in on you're gonna want to mute the sound for the intro.

Speaker 1 You're gonna want to turn all the content shit on

Speaker 1 because I got to have a fun experience with YouTube's what is it called? Fucking

Speaker 1 active community guideline strike

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 1 sexual content for the purposes of titillation.

Speaker 1 See,

Speaker 1 I wish I could, like, I'm always curious because, like, you know, like, like, there's implied sex scenes in movies, and then sometimes there's explicit, and sometimes there's, like, not explicit, but like, ooh.

Speaker 1 And I always remember, do you remember Watchmen?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 The movie, the movie. Yeah, I remember.
In Watchmen, the movie, it's all dark and in shadow, but you're seeing ass cheeks clapping, right? You're actually seeing the pressure

Speaker 1 and it's like that's there's nothing

Speaker 1 like that's not explicit but boy explicit I would say that's explicit you're not showing anything that you're not supposed to be showing for the pg13 rating or whatever but boy are you as close as you can get to the to it with the shadows you know pornography and like and like rules about nudity on all online platforms are nonsense i remember when Tumblr banned, was it Tumblr banned

Speaker 1 female presenting nipples? Exactly. Or taking

Speaker 1 Instagram as well with topless people and then putting male presenting nipples

Speaker 1 and then putting guy nipples on. Yep.
Which is fucking weird. Yep.

Speaker 1 That's super strange. No, no.

Speaker 1 Watchmen had big swinging blue dong in it. It was not a PG-13 movie.
But like, I'm saying the

Speaker 1 way that was shot was they were not showing you as much as they could have been.

Speaker 1 They were not showing you an explicit sex scene, I feel like, but they were silhouetting it in a way that was pretty close.

Speaker 1 Go ahead and mute the first. I mean, go ahead and mute your game audio for

Speaker 1 episode four, and then you'll know when to turn it back on. Not the visual, the audio.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. But you know what? Go ahead and you turn that sensitive materials sexual content toggle on also.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, just a reminder for everybody that I live in Montreal where Striptease was rated G.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember that. Okay.
I saw that in the theater. Yep.
At like

Speaker 1 whatever it was that was. Cinema de Park.
Yeah. I was like, hey, Dad, can we go watch the movie with Demi Moore being naked? He was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So just got to bring this one up every once in a while to remind people what's what.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Okay.
But outside of that, I hear. I like how you can tell who is American in the chat by the level of capitals.
Exactly. And those who are like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 1 What I have been hearing is that... So obviously, besides those foibles, game's excellent.
Oh, it's great. Yep.
It's great. And it has many of our larger compatriots there.

Speaker 1 Mr. Charlie Moyce Critical is there.

Speaker 1 Laura Bailey, Matt Mercer. I think Matt Mercer.
I just assume Matt Mercer's in everything I watch now. So, Aaron Paul,

Speaker 1 like, I don't know if you did. You ever watch any of Invincible?

Speaker 1 I did not. Okay.
Aaron Paul, like, has an episode, well, more than one, but he has a special dedicated episode where he plays a character in Invincible, and he does a phenomenal job there.

Speaker 1 Where I kind of was like, okay, breaking that aside, like, that really shows me your ability to provide. Yeah, Aaron Paul is doing a great job as

Speaker 1 dispatch man.

Speaker 1 Alana Pierce is there as an Australian person, which works because you got to.

Speaker 1 Jack Septukai is there, et cetera, et cetera. It's star-studded cast, really.

Speaker 1 But more than that, super snappy writing, but not too snappy.

Speaker 1 Right? Okay. Like punchy, quick, funny.
But he's not right behind me. He isn't.
But it's not overwritten. That just happened.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really, really.

Speaker 1 Not too snap. You have to snap it back.

Speaker 1 You have to go make it witty, but not too witty. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It takes a lot of

Speaker 1 inspiration from their older games. In particular,

Speaker 1 one very, very

Speaker 1 famously misunderstood

Speaker 1 dialogue

Speaker 1 from an earlier game gets a second go-around. Good, good, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw a joke referencing like confusing title, confusing options in a, in a, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 Natal Tale. I've been playing through it, and I'm getting like a lot of.
So, much like every single one of these, you get to the end, you get to see what did other people do?

Speaker 1 What did other people do?

Speaker 1 And the choices are like 50-50.

Speaker 1 Or if there's three choices, it's like 30%,

Speaker 1 like right down the middle, or cataclysmic, one-sided

Speaker 1 things.

Speaker 1 So, something else I heard was that this game is completely pre-rendered. There is nothing actually.
It is running at 62 FPS the whole time.

Speaker 1 It is an FMV. There is no rendering going on whatsoever.
No. Okay.
No,

Speaker 1 this is a goddamn choose your own adventure thing. So it's coming to Netflix, is what you're saying.
Yeah, good. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Except there is a game part.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you have your QuickTime events during story sequences, you know, fighting people in a robot suit or whatever.

Speaker 1 You've got your narrative choices, which are exactly the same as you would expect from a Telltale thing, all the way down to so-and-so. We'll remember that.

Speaker 1 And then you've got a little hacking mini-game for babies, but it's cute. Right?

Speaker 1 And then you have the dispatching, which is the game's primary gameplay, which is you running 911 operator for a superhero group and trying to figure out who is correct to send to what job.

Speaker 1 So it's like, hey, there's a massive soccer brawl. No,

Speaker 1 it's in the U.S. Sorry, there's a massive football game brawl happening.

Speaker 1 You got to send over somebody to take care of it non-violently.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 every single task task and every single hero is split between combat, defensive ability, mobility, charm, and intellect.

Speaker 1 Is that gameplay aspect of it anything like

Speaker 1 home safety hotline? No, no. So what it is, is that you're looking at a map and a problem will show up and a little circle will start counting down.

Speaker 1 And you click on it and it'll say, hey, who do you want to send? It'll give you a basic rough idea of what it is. It'll give you a little hint.
It's like, oh, the people here are really strong.

Speaker 1 Or, oh, you need to send somebody who's really smart, who understands crypto

Speaker 1 or whatever.

Speaker 1 And then you're going to try and fit the best team. And then what you do is everybody has like a, you know, like a JoJo stand grid of like, you know, the five points.

Speaker 1 And what the way that it works is that you can't see it, but every single task has a hidden.

Speaker 1 little diagram of themselves. And when the task is complete, they overlap the two to see how how much they overlap.

Speaker 1 And then they throw like a little ping-pong ball around like a screensaver and go, Hope you land where they both overlap, and then that thing will be marked as complete.

Speaker 1 So if you send like three heroes to a really easy one, it'll just completely cover it and it'll go 100%. Okay.

Speaker 1 So there was in the middle of Marvel Civil War, the original comic run, there was like a what-if um um scenario where you got to see like what if uh

Speaker 1 Cap and Tony's handshake was genuine and nothing popped off after that and then it and then it shows

Speaker 1 like a an imaginary scenario where they're both in like

Speaker 1 in a comms room taking calls from around the world dispatching heroes to deal with S rank problems A rank B etc

Speaker 1 and kind of just going out for a coffee break and eventually going like man could you imagine if we actually fought over that shit yeah and then cutting back to the corpse and the fucking grave and the crying and the oh god you know it was a pretty good like cutaway so i kind of imagine something like that scene yeah so the main source of drama is that uh you're running this this you know dispatch job uh but you are in charge of the absolute dog shit loser z team yeah

Speaker 1 yeah just the the absolute

Speaker 1 worst of the worst idiots, nearly exclusively reformed minor villains.

Speaker 1 What happens when when you send the fucking new warriors out to deal with a villain that can detonate himself at an elementary school? Right. Yeah.
So, like, for example, I'll take one example.

Speaker 1 Charlie plays sonar. He's a guy in a suit that happens to have a bathead.

Speaker 1 And he is guilty of a wide variety of financial and money laundering crimes. And he's way into crypto.

Speaker 1 And so his intelligence and charm are off the charts. So if you need him to go argue with the brain teaser or

Speaker 1 defuse a situation or

Speaker 1 do a speaking arrangement at something to make the company look good, you might want to send him. However, he is also in Narcotics Anonymous and is horribly addicted to drugs.

Speaker 1 So maybe don't send him to bust up the drug deal

Speaker 1 because he is addicted to drugs and wants to do cocaine. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Gotcha. Right.

Speaker 1 And there's a bunch of little gameplay mechanics, like, you know, certain pairs work better together. Certain,

Speaker 1 every

Speaker 1 event has the right hero to send. Okay.
Like, don't send. Like, literally, like, they skip the mini-game and there's an extra option that just goes solve it their way.

Speaker 1 Don't send Adam X the extreme to solve the mental health crisis. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so far from a narrative perspective, it is fucking ACEs.

Speaker 1 It's also, and this will be of great interest to you,

Speaker 1 really short. Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Oh, I saw that. This code is exactly one hour long.
I saw that shit. I, I, That fucking cranked it right up the list.

Speaker 1 The plan was to blow through it over the weekend. However, episode four got in my way, and then the baby got sick.
So, you know, I'm going to do the rest of Dispatch tomorrow.

Speaker 1 I'm very excited about that.

Speaker 1 Also, Joel Haver's there.

Speaker 1 You know, Joel Haver?

Speaker 1 I should.

Speaker 1 Joel Haver is the guy who invented the art style of bad looking VG

Speaker 1 video games. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
There we go. And he is being awkward as shit.
And his character is so interesting. And I probably want to.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you that the first episode has the hardest decision I've ever made in any of those games. Oh, wow.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And like,

Speaker 1 I looked at the

Speaker 1 stats, and it was 47, 53%.

Speaker 1 So fuck the fuck the in-game stats. Is there an audience chat civil war between decisions as well going on? Well, yes, constantly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm a big fan of putting out this type of video, like as a VOD.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you get comment number one

Speaker 1 going,

Speaker 1 wow, this is crazy. I can't believe I haven't seen even one of these dialogue choices ever before.
I never would have picked these.

Speaker 1 And then right underneath that, right underneath that, I can't believe how gratifying it is to see Pat pick every single decision that I also picked. Great.
And he always made the right decision.

Speaker 1 Great. Okay.
So, this is one of those games straddling that line. Perfect.

Speaker 1 This is also something that I absolutely, that somebody described something that was a minor spoiler to me, and I didn't care. And I'm glad they told me.

Speaker 1 There is a character here that will, I can't wait to talk to you about because they are right down the middle.

Speaker 1 Of one half of that character is for you, and the other half of that character is for me. Okay.
Their design might as well be out of your scrapbook. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's the character that you go for and draw every time

Speaker 1 with the personality

Speaker 1 of the character that is for me. That you go for every time.

Speaker 1 And watching it ping-pong around in my brain is hilarious.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yeah.
This is high priority. This is high priority.

Speaker 1 It's really good. Turn the black bars on.
There's a lot more.

Speaker 1 So episode one has a lot of just cock on the street on the screen. Oh, straight up.
No flags. Straight up.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah, no flags.

Speaker 1 And apparently the black bars can't keep up with the dick motion in the first episode.

Speaker 1 Like straight up, like

Speaker 1 they didn't do exactly the game. It can't.

Speaker 1 So I was pleased to find out that like Baldur's Gate was like its aggressive and Cyberpunk has the same thing with the filtering, but like Twitch was pretty much like okay with it, even if it was like like the game was being overly cautious compared to what Twitch would be okay with, which is how I prefer it.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that. I thank you.
But YouTube, however, is another beast entirely. Hey,

Speaker 1 I'm new to streaming on YouTube.

Speaker 1 So if somebody just gets a little too excited on Mike and gets a little too close to something explicit, like YouTube is going to flag that. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 My Community Guideline Strike is going to leave on February 21st, and I had to fill out baby's first content appropriateness class

Speaker 1 where I had to do a little survey of seven questions where they go,

Speaker 1 so-and-so is at a hockey game. And

Speaker 1 is which of these is okay?

Speaker 1 Fuck you, you fucking condescending pricks. I know exactly what your fucking system should be actually fighting for.

Speaker 1 I'm getting a false positive here, you fucking.

Speaker 1 It's It's always inconsistent. And whatever it is today is going to be different for tomorrow as well.
Like,

Speaker 1 it's literally the battle that's been lasting our entire careers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, you know, also,

Speaker 1 it doesn't hurt to

Speaker 1 also scroll past the story that where the dispatch team are like, yeah, fuck that AI shit. And we're like, okay, cool.
Good, great. Cool.

Speaker 1 And then I also read an interview where they're like, yeah, we had actually like full-on graphic sex scenes, but we had to take them out due to time constraints. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 after going through half the game, I'm like,

Speaker 1 you had like

Speaker 1 more, more graph.

Speaker 1 What the fuck did you guys have in here? Now, now,

Speaker 1 hmm, hmm. Interesting.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Like, are we

Speaker 1 Are we looking at Overwatch and kind of going, why don't we wet our beaks? Yeah, maybe. I don't know.
Why not allow us to wet our beaks too, officially?

Speaker 1 But yeah. There's a whole lot of mercy bucks that Blizzard is not making.

Speaker 1 Dispatch is great. And then I only have one problem.
Yeah. And it's a problem of my own creation because of the nature of streaming.
So Dispatch came out like a month or two ago.

Speaker 1 Like a little while ago. Right.

Speaker 1 And what this means is that for the first time ever, I'm playing one of these games not on like the first day, first week, which means I'm actually seeing a representative split of like what those decisions are.

Speaker 1 Right. Because when you play the like Walking Dead season one on the

Speaker 1 like you actually were only getting compared to like the first couple hundred people and sometimes it could skew really really hard right but now it's it's out it's done so i'm seeing like the real decisions about who picked this or that but what i'm also seeing

Speaker 1 is the final stat on every single episode is

Speaker 1 for the dispatch gameplay, it's you did better than X percentage of players.

Speaker 1 But that includes people who replayed the game to get perfect scores.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 So the first day, I'm like, you did better than 20% of people. So there's an objective correct path? Yes.
You can do perfect dispatch runs. Okay, not the choices in dialogue, but in terms of

Speaker 1 the gameplay itself. Yeah, okay, okay.
Right.

Speaker 1 And it's like there are guides out and people have used them and people have replayed each episode to get the perfect dispatch runs to get the most experience.

Speaker 1 And so I get to the end and it's like, you are better than 30% of other players.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, but. But I thought I did pretty good.
It's like, yeah, because I'm being compared to perfect runs. It's like

Speaker 1 a fucking pool that has been inflated by perfect runs.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah.
No. It makes me feel bad every time.
Imagine your first shot against fucking consort Radon shows you a leaderboard of how fast you died.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was about to say that

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 So apparently it's just a collection of MP4s, right? And it's all pre-rendered, which means you have no access to to 3D models, which means

Speaker 1 which means that

Speaker 1 the horny means of production are owned by the dispatch team themselves, which means that they are in charge of what you get access to. And if, again, if you allow them to wet their beaks,

Speaker 1 if you want to get Randy with it, then they can choose how much to dole out to you because they have all the access and you don't. You don't have to worry about that because like

Speaker 1 people are just going to

Speaker 1 do the same thing that they've always done, which is find an approximate character and then change that.

Speaker 1 Release the files. Literally.

Speaker 1 Like, if Sarah Bryant's Virtua Fighter model can be repurposed for Samus, then she can also be repurposed

Speaker 1 for Blue Blazer. Sure, sure.
But there's a little something to knowing that it's like an approximation versus the original, right? Yeah. It's just, you know, Source Film Maker.

Speaker 1 you know, there's a, there's just, there's something, there's something special about that. There's something different about that.
So, all right.

Speaker 1 That, that's, um, that's a surprise. Yeah, no, I can't wait to talk more about that with you next week.

Speaker 1 I would say, I would say when you do slot it in, just slot it two days back to back, and you fucking bang out the whole goddamn thing in like a weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like it's, it's, it's really consistent in its length.

Speaker 1 It's not, it's not fully up to me, but uh, as soon as I can,

Speaker 1 I'm gonna, I'm gonna make that that happen. You got to check on high.

Speaker 1 Right on.

Speaker 1 I also played Lethal Company for the first time. Yeah.
The Yappers.

Speaker 1 That is.

Speaker 1 That is.

Speaker 1 That is the Primo friend slop. That is.
Pure.

Speaker 1 It's definitively

Speaker 1 sloppy.

Speaker 1 and fun with friends. Great, great asset.

Speaker 1 You can play it by yourself, and I genuinely don't know why you would ever even bother.

Speaker 1 Can you play it alone?

Speaker 1 I don't even know if I knew that.

Speaker 1 What is there to do? Like, you go into the place and get the things

Speaker 1 and then bring them back. Okay.

Speaker 1 Did you...

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like, did you do the full, did you do the full circuit and see the whole thing? Yeah, we did the full circuit a couple of times. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it is. Peak is the same way, which is, it is crazy how strong

Speaker 1 good proximity chat is in improving the way these games work. It is

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 Peak has

Speaker 1 like you yelling at somebody who's crazy far away, and that's like de facto hilarious. On a mountaintop and then a tree.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It also has like falling off a mountain and is

Speaker 1 like hilarious. But Lethal Company is like being like absolutely carried by its proximity chat.

Speaker 1 It is so integral that I would say this game is totally pointless without it. Because chit-chatting with the gang, we modded it to have five people in there, right?

Speaker 1 But chit-chatting with the gang only to have the gang just completely to a person stop answering you. Yes, yes, exactly.
Fade out and just nothing, like nothing.

Speaker 1 Not Not even a yell. And like, like, climbing treetop mountaintop expanse as like, is like an ideal proxy chat punchline scenario creator.

Speaker 1 But the only thing better than that I can imagine is we're all trapped under Nostromo.

Speaker 1 You know, going through the halls of a factory spaceship ass setting with vents and air locks and suddenly just footsteps clinking into the distance, you know, is great.

Speaker 1 Uh, and it just, it's just, everything about it is just built for like

Speaker 1 tense, hilarious moments. Like

Speaker 1 I saw like Cloud, everybody's more familiar with these games than I am. So at one point, Cloud was in a very dark room and he knew that there was a

Speaker 1 beam that was hidden in the darkness that he could use to platform across. So he looks at me and goes, hey, Pat, want to see a magic trick?

Speaker 1 And then jumped off to land on it and then missed and then just disappeared in the darkness and fucking died. Exactly.
And I'm just sitting there like with my mouth agape going,

Speaker 1 and then later we were talking, like, dude, you sounded like those guys who like kill themselves at the airport. Just

Speaker 1 everybody, check this out. Check this out, right?

Speaker 1 And then, um, and the other thing, too, here that's different from the peak experience is

Speaker 1 the extraction run.

Speaker 1 The fuck this, I'm going back to the ship, and wait for me. And no uh,

Speaker 1 I gotta go, or I'm dead. Too bad.

Speaker 1 we had a we had a moment where uh shima the tiger went back to uh watch our positions from the ship and everybody else died we're dead right but javi i heart justice managed to survive and get out of that and he's crawling through the woods with like every enemy i think i've seen in the game

Speaker 1 in his vicinity

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 We don't have walkie-talkie, so there's no communication. And so he's a little lost, and he's trying to find his way back, and he realizes where the ship is.

Speaker 1 And Shimada, who thinks she's helping, just starts like hitting the horn as hard as she can and starts yelling out, Hey, we're over here and activating like a dollar

Speaker 1 enemies that are sound activated.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Only to have Javi make it to the

Speaker 1 it was picture perfect. Javi made it to the entrance, and from her perspective, he just got fucking like T-Rexed off screen.
Yep, yep, yep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 incredible for this type of nonsense.

Speaker 1 Like running back to the ship and as you're within a few steps of it, watching it take off into the distance and you just stand still and then a Titan just picks you up.

Speaker 1 You're like, whelp. You know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Kind of great.

Speaker 1 Kind of incredible.

Speaker 1 Though I think the next time we do this, not not this week, but maybe two weeks, will probably be Repo.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I died a lot.

Speaker 1 I died

Speaker 1 a lot, a lot. I spent most of that stream in the death cam.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I would like to play one of these friend slop games in which I can defend myself in any way whatsoever, please. Okay.

Speaker 1 So the next one is probably going to be Repo because Repo gives you a gun. Even if the gun is mostly useless, I would like to have a gun, please.

Speaker 1 Did you, the only other thing I'm curious, did you drop off stuff at the company? Oh, yeah. And did you hang out there? I didn't felt too many times.
Yeah, okay, okay, cool. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's the most interesting thing about the entire game to me.

Speaker 1 I also got frustrated with Shimada not being able to get a truck up a little incline, so I got into the truck myself and then immediately exploded and killed Cloud.

Speaker 1 Sick. Like, I turned the ignition and the car just literally blew up in my fucking face.

Speaker 1 So that was great.

Speaker 1 That game's great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, I will say, one of the things about the Friendslop genre is you're like, oh man, this cool game's so interesting. And

Speaker 1 it's so hot and so cool.

Speaker 1 And now it's multiple years older and it's still like not even close to being finished.

Speaker 1 Is it not?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Because it was so basic in

Speaker 1 asset and features that I assumed it was just like another one of those

Speaker 1 Game Jam productions. No, early access.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's kind of one of the problems. They're all early access.

Speaker 1 All of them.

Speaker 1 Like, kind of forever.

Speaker 1 Like, fucking Valheim. I bet you I could look up and Valheim's still on fucking early access.

Speaker 1 Was Fall Guys early access?

Speaker 1 No. No, that came out proper.
Okay. No, Fall Guys was made by

Speaker 1 Ubisoft?

Speaker 1 I thought it got acquired. I thought there was a small thing,

Speaker 1 a small dev team, and then a bigger team

Speaker 1 bought them or published it or something like that. Is Peak not early access? Let me double-check that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Peak won the award over it. Peak is not early access.
Yeah, you know what? It feels... Yeah, it feels like it's not early access.

Speaker 1 I also,

Speaker 1 did I stream anything else?

Speaker 1 I have to actually go back and check my fucking content fucking video producer tab to even answer this question.

Speaker 1 Me and Paige did the Game of the Year predictions. We also did More Blind Leading Blind, which Paige is getting much better at RE2, which is awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, I played Demon School. I did a sponsored stream for Don's School.
That looks cool. That looks cool.

Speaker 1 I saw that Demon School had a bunch of

Speaker 1 a smattering of reviews across a wide variety of scores. And I know exactly why.

Speaker 1 The characters are of a really particular style. And you have to love them or hate them, hit or miss.
And if you're down with that style, you're like, fuck yeah, let's go. Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 If you're not, that shit would just be fucking miserable. I got that from the trailer just watching.
It's like, okay, you're doing some persona hangouts with these characters here.

Speaker 1 And if you like the friends you can hang out with, you're going to enjoy it. Games Killer.
If not, oh. That's it.
Yep. Yep.
I can feel it.

Speaker 1 I saw somebody just

Speaker 1 compare it to Neon White, and that's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 I actually like Neon White, but I think that Neon White went a lot farther.

Speaker 1 But yeah, no, Demon School is super cool. Neon White was a weird one.
The art style, stellar. The music's fantastic.

Speaker 1 The core tactical gameplay is very interesting and very, very into the breachisting.

Speaker 1 Ah.

Speaker 1 The goal is to kill the right amount of enemies by the end of three or four turns perfectly.

Speaker 1 And if you do so, you get a great ranking and more rewards.

Speaker 1 Super cool. Okay.

Speaker 1 I was sponsored to play it.

Speaker 1 I got paid for that.

Speaker 1 But that's one of those games where they said, do you want money for this? And I was like, I was going to fucking do a stream anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I so yeah, absolutely. I threw that shit on the list for sure.
Um,

Speaker 1 what was the

Speaker 1 I feel like uh uh uh yeah, who made it again? It was

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 I looked it up and I remember seeing it is uh Liz Yizbrid absurd

Speaker 1 Necrosoft. It's Necrosoft.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Necrosoft.
There you go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 I assume that's absurd. It's just an absurd way to spell absurd is the bit.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the publisher. The publisher.
And Necrosoft is the Necrosoft is the actual devs. Yeah.
Cool. All right.

Speaker 1 Super good game. And last but not least, I guess, is that

Speaker 1 in my own time off-camera, I've been playing a lot of Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, which is up for a bunch of awards this year. And it's done now.

Speaker 1 It's finished, except for like an emergency patch they need to bring out at some point because there's a progression blocker that I avoided. The first progression blocker to be avoided in ages.

Speaker 1 But I actually, just for people who have played KCD2,

Speaker 1 I would like to point out how excellent the wedding quest is.

Speaker 1 The wedding quest is

Speaker 1 what you're building up to for the first half of the game. You're trying to get invited to a wedding to meet

Speaker 1 a bigwig.

Speaker 1 And there is a long series of quests to finagle an invite to that wedding. And I did all of them.
And then I did every side quest that existed on the map. It took me 42 hours.

Speaker 1 before getting to that wedding. And when I got to that wedding, I knew who every single fucking guest was, wow, and had unique dialogue for every single fucking person.
Wow,

Speaker 1 okay,

Speaker 1 and it was it like I like you, they fucking pay it off,

Speaker 1 nice, okay. Proper, um, and like certain characters not getting along and and remarking that, and like certain minor quests opening up because they know you.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, because I helped Voss detect the gameskeeper, fuck not get eaten by wolves, he trusts me enough to slap a drink out of his hand the whole night every time I see one because he's got a drinking problem.

Speaker 1 So, like, proper Citadel DLC?

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Like a micro-Citadel, but like

Speaker 1 in the fucking first third of the game. Sick.

Speaker 1 And then they followed it up with

Speaker 1 a really,

Speaker 1 really brutal quest that I am working on where they take all of your shit away. They take every single fucking item and skill you have away.

Speaker 1 And they put you in an environment you've never been before. And they say, figure it out with a time limit.
Sure. And I'm fucking sweating.

Speaker 1 Sweating.

Speaker 1 That game's incredible. So, like, I feel like, you know,

Speaker 1 after

Speaker 1 Hypogean Jail

Speaker 1 and like every other variant thereof, the whole like kidnapped and taken your powers away arc no longer elicits the same panic it used to.

Speaker 1 Even in Silk Song type of thing, you're kind of just like, okay, we're doing one of these segments. I'm sure there's a, like,

Speaker 1 I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're holding back from saying a lot of things. All right.
Okay, so I want to be clear.

Speaker 1 You, you don't, like, KCD is an RPG with a lot of equipment. You don't realize how much your inventory is your entire character's power until they take it away from you.
I see.

Speaker 1 Because the thing that really fucked me over, I'm like, oh, they took all my lock picks, man.

Speaker 1 And I can't leave this area. I don't even know where to get a lock pick.
Like, oh, congrats, this entire form of gameplay is just disabled until I can scrounge one up or find one. Gotcha.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Like, it's more than losing my missiles or my Varius suit. I'm like, I can't pick locks.
I can't fight. You cannot traverse.
You can have no ability to use any helium. Environment.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 That game's so fucking cool. Everything about that game is fucking cool.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's it for me. If you want to check out more Pat stuff, go down to twitch.tv slash patstairs at and youtube.com slash pat stairs at.

Speaker 1 This week is going to be

Speaker 1 fuck. I can't remember.
I'm so tired, by the way. It's hard to sleep when your little guy is going

Speaker 1 like the whole night. And I feel bad for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, Wooly. I know.
I know. I know.
I know. I know.
I know. I know.
Hey, do you want to do something really annoying?

Speaker 1 Hey, do you want to do something really, really, really annoying? Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Okay, so now that we're parents, right? Remember when you were single?

Speaker 1 Like single.

Speaker 1 And you're like, I'm too busy to go to that. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And how

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 And how you didn't know what the fuck busy meant at all. Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 So I like, okay, I have not had a, you know, these weeks have not been eventful in terms of content consumption of sorts, but, you know, there are new sounds happening that we're trying that we're trying to decode, you know?

Speaker 1 There are sounds that are like, it's not quite a full-on fuss, and it's not quite a cry, but it's kind of just a.

Speaker 1 I call that a grumble.

Speaker 1 And you're like, okay, what does that mean? Is this relating to, is it, is it tummy? Is it digestion?

Speaker 1 Sort of sometimes, but then other times it's like, you don't have it, but then when I bring you to this room, now you have it. So you're like, oh, it's a, it's, it's a, an emotional thing.

Speaker 1 You're reacting to this stimulus. Is it, is it, are you overstimulate, you know, and you're just, you're flipping this Rubik's cube around.

Speaker 1 So there's that, that whole process is every single thing your baby is saying is, I don't like this.

Speaker 1 And it's solved for this. Yes.
But

Speaker 1 up until now, right, a certain level of, I don't like this goes straight to tears. So you're like, yeah, fair enough.
I can read that. I can.
Yeah, because now you're like, eh. Right.

Speaker 1 But now you have like an eh, eh, eh, right. You have that.
And then you're like, okay. So this is a level of discomfort.
What if we changed it by, let's pick you up?

Speaker 1 And then the pickup now is like, eh, you're like, oh, no, no, no, you don't want to be picked up. Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 So let's try putting you in this like bouncer for a second. No, no, you don't want that either.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So the scenario you're in, left side, please. So the scenario you're in where you're hearing this fussing is actually the least fussing compared to the other four things you've just tried.

Speaker 1 So, you know, and you're like, is this the

Speaker 1 that will get more complicated, but it will also get more clear for multiple years. And then you will hit the era of straight up the phrase, I don't like this.
What don't you like?

Speaker 1 X.

Speaker 1 Okay, I will now stop X. And then you will discover that they were lying.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 We have entered into the phase in which we physically can't get to his demands before he changes his mind. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 See, because to me, that communication level of like, it feels like such an immediate game changer where you're like, oh, I wish I could just hear from you what the thing you want is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, okay. So get this.
Dada, I want Peeba toast, please. Peeba toast is peanut butter toast.
Okay. Right? Okay.
Okay, buddy. No problem.
Guess what, fuckhead?

Speaker 1 Toast takes fucking time to toast in the toaster. Yes.
You know what that means? By the time I get that kid Peeba toast, I offer him the Peeba go.

Speaker 1 No!

Speaker 1 I don't want Peeba toast!

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not sure yourself where you're at. Right.
But almost, almost with how dare you offer me the PIBA toast. Yes.
Like inside, you know? So someone just went,

Speaker 1 A baby is not a souls game, boss, Woolly. And you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
No, they are. You have no, you're so wrong.

Speaker 1 You have never been more wrong. It's crazy how wrong you are.
You learn the patterns.

Speaker 1 Babies are a game of Simon that you learn through the most obtuse format ever.

Speaker 1 And the joke that we've been having as I'm talking to Punch Mom about this is that me recognizing patterns and startup animations and things that are beginning to happen and fixing it first, but to cancel out a cry is actually the same things you do when you're fighting a boss in a game, getting used to, oh, the arm is up.

Speaker 1 It's, oh, which one is it? It's the delay roll catch. Okay, gotcha.
Right. I'm hearing, so before the cry comes out, you start to see the frown, right?

Speaker 1 And then sometimes you see the super exaggerated frown and a little bit of the like,

Speaker 1 right? You're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know that one. That one is temperature.
That's a temperature-based like upsetness. And then you know, you're like, okay, strip the layer off, right?

Speaker 1 We're in the car or whatever. Okay, strip the layer off, get some, get some air circulating there.
And that cry is now canceled, and you don't have to worry about it.

Speaker 1 Because if it breaks and it's in a full cry, you're stuck with it.

Speaker 1 Now you have to soothe that and then other things, you know, or bringing them to the table where, like, she loves to reset on this table. She just does a table she loves.

Speaker 1 It makes her smile every time. You know, being able to get that done quickly enough.

Speaker 1 There are things where, like,

Speaker 1 when she's feeling particularly like, uh,

Speaker 1 there are times where she's like, I'm, I want to eat, but I'm, I'm just not hungry enough to full to finish this bottle or so. And you're kind of, and you're kind of like, I want you to keep drinking.

Speaker 1 I want you to keep going. Like, if you, there's a moment where she will, like, pull off, and sometimes, like, she's like, oh, I'm going to stop paying attention because I got a poop right now.

Speaker 1 Or I'm going to pull off because I got a burp, right? And it's a little distracted moment. And

Speaker 1 when that happens, there are windows where you have approximately approximately 20 seconds if the bottle is finished to refill it with something temperature appropriate and keep going.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, she'll just be like, you know what? Actually, I changed my mind. I'm out.

Speaker 1 And like, you have to kind of like, while she's in the flow of still drinking, you have to get her more fast enough or the interest is gone. And it's a 20-second timer, you know?

Speaker 1 And you get in sometimes, like, there's a point where I was like, you, you get a, you get a refill ready next to you and you switch it fast enough and get it back in her mouth where she's like, I'm okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. it's like I never, it's like I never stopped drinking.
I forgot that I stopped, so let's keep it going. You know, these are all things that boss pattern recognition absolutely helps you with.

Speaker 1 And like, it's funny because with Punch Bob, like, we've joked about it where I'm like, No, these skills are coming into play, and I'm seeing things that like sometimes she's missed or so just based on game recognition.

Speaker 1 So it's absolutely on point. It's so close, you have no idea.

Speaker 1 There are QTs.

Speaker 1 I have sent you a photo just now, and and it is the photo of my son five seconds after telling me he is not tired. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 And this photo was when I took this to send to Paige, and we started to workshop. Can I get so? He is like closed eyes slumped over a chair backwards.
Yep. Yep.
Flailing. And

Speaker 1 saying, I'm not tired. And I'm texting Paige, like, how do I get him out of that chair upstairs to the bedroom?

Speaker 1 Can I do it? The answer is no.

Speaker 1 I actually physically can't get him off the chair because if he moves at all, he will wake up just enough that he will actually like beat his chest

Speaker 1 so that he will wake up because he doesn't want to nap.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm that.

Speaker 1 So I have to recognize.

Speaker 1 I fucked up. I had to recognize 10 minutes prior that he looked too sleepy to sit down.

Speaker 1 I was putting so much just like joy and hope on the idea of like, oh, that cool thing where they learn a little bit of sign language, you know, where they learn all the different, like, oh, poop, milk, more, you know, etc.

Speaker 1 Pain, all these little skews, and kind of being like, that will solve all the problems. No.
Only to re only to now be like, and then what if they lie?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Or more accurately, what if they they change their mind too fast? Damn. Phase two.

Speaker 1 So we're in the

Speaker 1 corner.

Speaker 1 I can see how some parents would like think this is the terrible twos or whatever, but because they have no patience and they're they hate their children or whatever.

Speaker 1 Um, but my boy is he's starting to feel himself. He's starting to gain some independence, and he thinks he can tell mom and dad what to do.

Speaker 1 Uh, and he tells us what to do literally every second of the fucking day now.

Speaker 1 I mentioned this earlier. It's not time to say, come on.
It's not okay.

Speaker 1 It's not time to eat. It's not time to go to bed.
No, it is not time to pick me up. It is not time to pet caboose.

Speaker 1 And my personal favorite, me and Paige were chit-chatting about something in the kitchen, and he walked into the room and said, it is not time to talk right now.

Speaker 1 And we both just like, our jaws just drop,

Speaker 1 and we're like, No, you don't get to. And he goes, Yeah.

Speaker 1 You gotta, yeah, you gotta push those limits to learn them. You gotta learn them.
That's how we do it. Damn.
Well, in any case,

Speaker 1 it's there are there are new noises. There are new phases.
There are new, you know,

Speaker 1 new bars are filling up. First time you get hit with frenzy and you're like, what is that? What does that icon icon mean?

Speaker 1 I don't, it's almost full. I'm going to get out of here.
That can't be good.

Speaker 1 But holy shit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, in any case,

Speaker 1 that aside, you know,

Speaker 1 a bunch of time has been spent on that.

Speaker 1 Something I have been doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just...

Speaker 1 I've checked out a bit of, I've been wanting to do this for a while. Absolute Batman.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you've.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's basically this big Batman

Speaker 1 with no money. Yeah, right.
So the absolute universe in DC is what if the heroes were,

Speaker 1 what if hope was absolutely the like evil in the sense that it's the outlier in an absolute dark, destructive everything is awful and all the stacks, all the odds are against you, world.

Speaker 1 And in this case, with Batman, what if Bruce was 6'9

Speaker 1 and blue collar worker and had none of the origin power of money that the Bruce we know has?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he just hits the punching bags and he works as a city, as an engineer, and he works all over the Gotham, and he gets to learn the streets and he gets to learn the ropes. He does plumbing.

Speaker 1 He does all of it.

Speaker 1 And he hides out in a tower that's an unused floor of a billionaire skyscraper that's just empty. And that's where he he hides his shit.
Why does he have no money?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 he grew up poor. He grew up poor.
His dad's a teacher. That's it.
Yeah. His dad, Thomas Wayne, is a teacher, and Martha's a social worker.
That's it, you know? Nothing special. Okay.

Speaker 1 But being poor made him big. Yeah, well, he's gigantic.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Because basically,

Speaker 1 the superhero, the logic of the universe is such that Darkseid created a world world where, again, all the odds are stacked against

Speaker 1 the heroes in particular, whatever their origin is. And in his case, it's like

Speaker 1 he's got size and he's got grit, and that's it. That's all he's got going.
You know, figure out the rest somehow.

Speaker 1 You can't just solve it with the... Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of pieces of art of absolute Batman.

Speaker 1 And the redesigns of the villains all look kind of awesome. So that's it.
What got me interested was seeing the axe, right? The bat logo off the chest drops down and becomes a giant axe, basically.

Speaker 1 And then I saw

Speaker 1 Joker. I saw the design for what Joker is in absolute world.
And it's like, this is unfair. This is, it's so unfair.
It's completely ridiculous. And I went, all right, I want to know.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so far it's really good. So far, it's really sick.

Speaker 1 But one of the funnest things is I kind of realized that,

Speaker 1 you know, there's always these,

Speaker 1 the part of the discourse over the years is the, you know, should like Batman doesn't kill. That's the golden rule.
But sometimes it's just so ridiculous. They're rubber bullets, I swear, et cetera.

Speaker 1 And like, you were always. My favorite is hitting people with the fucking car at fucking 120 miles per hour in Arkham Night.

Speaker 1 But I electrocute them. We tased them.

Speaker 1 We tased them. It wasn't the car that hit them.
It wasn't the tumble. Absolute insanity.
Exactly, right?

Speaker 1 And just that world. And the more realistic, you know, setting that

Speaker 1 Batman is, the more that argument becomes really stupid, right? There's something I kind of realized here that I love:

Speaker 1 in this absolute world, the other one thing, besides being the power, having the power of being six, nine, 400 pounds or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good one.

Speaker 1 That's one power. And the other one is the power of fucking yako, wacko, and dot mallet space logic right uh-huh so um

Speaker 1 there are things where like you're just you're like when you're trying to stick to this rule right the golden rule of batman and like first things first as you're establishing who this character is in the middle of purging out a refugee camp um

Speaker 1 b-lon busk throws up a nice little z-guile and then the next panel is a two-page spread of the arm getting broken and the

Speaker 1 and the goofy bone cartoonishly sticking out

Speaker 1 of the broken arm mid-Zeg

Speaker 1 right and you're like this and you're good actually and you're seeing the extreme like like Batman's face when he's crunching the Nazi arm he's so mad at the arm he's like

Speaker 1 it's it's he's so mad He's so mad at that elbow. Like, it's exploding out of the joint, right?

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 on the next page.

Speaker 1 I like this. And on the next page is, I want you to

Speaker 1 imagine two bowls, right?

Speaker 1 And put one bowl inside of the other bowl. Got it.
So they stack together, right? Yeah, yeah. Now, the bowl on the bottom

Speaker 1 is the face of another Nazi, and the bowl on the top is Batman's knee. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Got it. You have never seen a tiger knee Captain Falcon like just like annihilate the shape of a dude that deserved it as hard as ever.

Speaker 1 But it's drawn in such a way where it's like, no, no, no, they're alive. That's a hell of an elbow break.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. They're alive.
They're totally fine.

Speaker 1 You know, no one died here. But, like, the logic of the world is like, no, but the emotion of what you need, of how hard you need to knee that dude in the face is felt.

Speaker 1 Also, the bicep and like the exploding leg muscles are so huge, like they're getting extra big because it's it's animaniac's rules in this art style, right? Batman doing that knee again, the face, the

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you know, every page is just that strain where I'm like, this is amazing. I love how much he needed to inflict pain on him.
I'm just not adhering to like human constraints.

Speaker 1 Eight rules to then do that and be like, yeah, they survived. They're fine.
He's teaching them a lesson. They're fine.
He beat them up. You know,

Speaker 1 it's the vibe. The vibe is what needs to get across in these attacks.

Speaker 1 You know, you're sending a message with these arm breaks and these face breaks and these back breaks and these leg breaks and just folding the enemies into basketballs and dribbling them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like fucking like a Warner Brothers cartoon. you know.

Speaker 1 But like, it's, it's, it's, it's conveyed that, like, this is how you need to treat evil in this world because it's especially damning and everywhere in the absolute universe. So this is the answer.

Speaker 1 You know, it's, it's very, very satisfying to see those panels. I appreciate it.
Um,

Speaker 1 and uh, yeah, that that's that's it. Just absolute Batman fucking that that is the shit.
Uh, uh,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 pretty much I've actually seen a bunch of pieces of these comics.

Speaker 1 And like, a lot of them actually look really good. I saw like some panels from Absolute Man, Martian Manhunter, and it looked super visually interesting.
I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 I haven't checked out any of that. I saw the basic introduction to

Speaker 1 Absolute Wonder Woman is like, instead of being raised on Tameskria, she is raised in hell.

Speaker 1 Okay, sure. And for Superman, it's

Speaker 1 there was no Kents.

Speaker 1 He raised, born, and raised on Krypton. Oh, that sounds like a good reason that we should kill Superman.
He had no

Speaker 1 old country moral compass upbringing.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I'm curious. Yeah, we should kill Superman.
I mean, it sounds like you're guaranteed to be a huge douche, depending on which version of the, you know, Krypton we're talking about.

Speaker 1 But I haven't read it, so I don't know.

Speaker 1 You're saying that with your bald face right now, now, especially? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think killing Superman is a good idea.

Speaker 1 I'm just feeling it. I'm just feeling it real good.

Speaker 1 See, the problem is that you don't have the charismatic eyes of Michael Rosenbaum to pull this off, you know? That's not fair.

Speaker 1 Also, I don't need to do that. I just want to kill Superman.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 And the only other thing is, speaking of killing Superman, I was checking out. I don't know if you saw any of it, but Invincible Versus had its beta.

Speaker 1 I did not see that at all. This is literally the first I'm hearing of it.
Okay. So.
Speaking of, that reminds me, I need to go look in my email for a different beta. It's you're in.
Guess what?

Speaker 1 You're in.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're right. I know.
You're in. Everyone's in.
I should write these dates down. Yes, five to seven.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So everybody got in this game. Everyone's in.
Everyone's in. Everyone's going to play Tokan in a couple days' time.
What? No. I mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But right now, Invincible Versus is happening. And I was curious because I'm like, I want to see what this game

Speaker 1 finally plays and looks like. Because

Speaker 1 what I see in these trailers is like, you know, it's it's a little jank looking.

Speaker 1 It's a setting that has some cool characters, but overall, these are flying bricks and I don't know how you really make this interesting. A lot of them are Superman.
Flying bricks. Flying bricks.

Speaker 1 That's just what we're doing, right?

Speaker 1 But this is the team that made Killer Instinct. So I'm also wondering, you know, what are they cooking? Because that's a great ass fighting game.

Speaker 1 Like, it's its biggest issue besides, well, besides the team swap and stuff, but even then it still came out great. It was just being console limited, you know, held back by its exclusivity.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 in this instance, I'm kind of looking at what they're doing, and okay, when it comes to the Supermen and the flying bricks, as they're being called, it's just what the game is.

Speaker 1 You can't get around it, right? They don't have the same moves and specials, of course.

Speaker 1 But in terms of the overall vibe of what you're looking at, people in tights throwing big old Western comic book swings at each other and heads exploding is just what this game is.

Speaker 1 And you're going to get a battle beast here. You're going to get a Viltramite who's spinning her hair to attack you there.

Speaker 1 But for the most part, you're watching Cape people take big power swings, you know?

Speaker 1 I saw Goggins is there.

Speaker 1 As is,

Speaker 1 yeah, Cecil. Cecil is really cool.
I actually find him the most interesting member of the the cast. Well, yeah, because he's a dude, right? He's just an old man.

Speaker 1 He's an old man, and he's got the money tech on his side. So he teleports, and it's it's a it's a it's an extremely good move, but it's also resource-limited.

Speaker 1 And I think, like, in the show, it's like literally every time you use a teleporter, it's the it's the cost of a small island nation's GDP.

Speaker 1 Like, it is the most expensive thing in the world, but Cecil can do it. Um,

Speaker 1 and uh,

Speaker 1 the other thing, so then in terms of the systems they got going on, they did something really

Speaker 1 very KI, but I kind of expected them to like

Speaker 1 create a system that I thought would be a lot simpler. They went complex.

Speaker 1 And I haven't gotten hands on it, so I don't know. But from the outside, I'm like...

Speaker 1 shocked that they would try to make it as complex as it is. Of all these fighters we've been seeing that are the tag fighters coming out.

Speaker 1 So this one doesn't have the, it doesn't look as good as Tokan or 2x KO, for example. It doesn't have the visuals on its side.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It is probably the fastest.

Speaker 1 They made it ridiculously fast, and you have to play it fast. You have to react fast.
It just throws everything at you insanely quickly. And

Speaker 1 the core of like what you're doing in the game is you're doing a very easy combo because it lets you basically you can do heavy punch fireball heavy punch fireball heavy punch fireball you can just do those two things until that you hit the combo limit and that'll work it's extremely

Speaker 1 it's extremely generous with that but what you have to kind of do to make your combos extend is call in your assists right

Speaker 1 calling assists is free

Speaker 1 unless you block it then it costs a little bit of this resource but if they call it if you call it an assist and you're hitting the opponent it doesn't take anything away from you you lose nothing for doing it um

Speaker 1 and if the person doesn't know how to deal with it you can call your assists and switch between your characters and do infinite combos forever until they die this um i'm watching um

Speaker 1 diffany

Speaker 1 uh play it right now

Speaker 1 or Diaphany. Diaphone? Oh, right.
Diaphone. Sorry.
When we we were on the tournament,

Speaker 1 I pronounced his name Diaphany. I see.
And it started a long series of name mispronunciations that I can't quite shake.

Speaker 1 Probably doesn't appreciate that too much. But

Speaker 1 this shit looks like Kusoga.

Speaker 1 This looks like the Western DNF duel. Yeah, the jank is wild.

Speaker 1 And what they're doing at these breakneck speeds is they're making it so that every assist is free.

Speaker 1 But you can stop it by doing a combo breaker that is calling your own assist out to stop theirs.

Speaker 1 And you have to do it insanely fast. And when you do break a combo with your assist, it costs half of your assist's life.

Speaker 1 In red life.

Speaker 1 So. Oh, yeah.
I just saw him do that.

Speaker 1 Jesus. They can heal it back if you leave them in the back long enough.

Speaker 1 But you got to leave them in the back forever. But they have to, but like, that's the sacrifice of stopping a combo:

Speaker 1 you take someone in the background and you lose half their life, you know? So if you're taking a combo that's like going to obviously kill you, you better stop it.

Speaker 1 But resource met-wise, they're just going wacky with it, right? So the shit like that, if you snap someone in, they lose all that red life, obviously.

Speaker 1 Every throw can lead to a combo. So throws are just other ways to open up your opponent, right?

Speaker 1 And damage numbers are so high. It's batch it.
It's batch it.

Speaker 1 There are snapbacks where you can do some have someone break and then snap back in the person who had half red life and make them lose half, lose all of it, right?

Speaker 1 So they're just going crazy with it.

Speaker 1 They're making this game that's like really, really like, it's, yeah, it's got the jank, but and all that, but it's also like difficult in terms of systems and asks, you know, I haven't played it, so I'm not sure, but just trying to follow the systems and looking at the tutorial and stuff, I'm like, why would you go this complex with it?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 there's one aspect of it that I think is pretty interesting is there's no draw games or time overs in the traditional sense.

Speaker 1 When the clock goes to zero, you enter sudden death and you continue the fight, but you're both of your life starts draining over time. Oh, okay.
That's fair.

Speaker 1 So whoever is in the lead has a time advantage, but if the person

Speaker 1 who's

Speaker 1 in the second place gets a touch and kills you first, they can still win. You know, so that's cool.
That's a hype way to kind of be like, you know, hey, there's always a chance.

Speaker 1 It, of course, encourages, it engenders passivity, as Fromsoft would say, in at least one person. But like, it's a nice way to be like, no, you still have to fight even when there's a timeover.

Speaker 1 I find that interesting.

Speaker 1 But I just unfortunately don't think that the

Speaker 1 invincible license combined with the jank look and the character flying brick variety is going to pull enough people away in terms of just like general interest.

Speaker 1 This has the opposite problem that 2xKO has.

Speaker 1 Right? Where 2xKO has like the potential like dream roster from anything you could ever want. Oh, there's not enough.

Speaker 1 They've already shown off a bunch of characters for this, and like six of them are the same guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's unfortunately like landing closer to Nenpact.

Speaker 1 But Nenpact has a huge variety of characters, but it's just not a very good fighting game.

Speaker 1 In this case, this looks like it could be fun in the absolute, like, fucking, you know, yeah, this is a dumpster fighter kind of, you know.

Speaker 1 But the KI team, they do know how to make a good fighting game. It's just, I just, I don't know that they're going to

Speaker 1 get,

Speaker 1 you know, people's attention for long with this like invincible getting a fighting game is a cool thing uh maybe it should have been a different genre you know maybe maybe it should have been done by ad hoc

Speaker 1 and i'm i might be crazy i might have to look at this up close when i'm right when it's running in front of me but my feeling in my heart is that ki looks better it does i'm telling you right now i'm looking at it right now like i it it shouldn't because this is a successor of sorts and it's coming later on

Speaker 1 on a future platform.

Speaker 1 But KI's art design and characters

Speaker 1 are clear, they're crisp. There's a much more clear design going on, and this is kind of, yeah, it's not standing out.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm sure there's a lot of people who like Invincible, and supposedly, I haven't watched it or read it, but supposedly it's quite good. It's great.
But Invincible has a really basic art style.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. No.
Invincible's whole thing is, hey, you read comic books and superheroes.

Speaker 1 We're going to twist that and do a bunch of unexpected things with the Justice League archetypes that you're aware of. You know?

Speaker 1 And so part of selling the idea is that it needs to kind of look basic comic book-y. You know?

Speaker 1 There are, and even with like the art style, even in the original comics as well, it's like it's going, at the time at least, it was going for something that looked similar to what DC was doing with some of their books and stuff.

Speaker 1 so it's yeah you're not looking at it for these incredible amazing league of legends art designs or fucking uh um token in you know what i mean like it's not doing that um and in fact i think it was brilliant of tokan to be like yeah we were gonna go for an extreme art design

Speaker 1 take on these characters that stands out because tokan easily could have just been generic mcu fighter you know bro that that that, the Tokan art design is just so evocative and so unique and so cool.

Speaker 1 Like, it looks like MVCI, the lesson learned from that, you know, they, they swung as hard as they could in the opposite direction and went like, yo, Arxis, you do amazing visual things.

Speaker 1 People love the way your games look. Please give this a visual identity.
And

Speaker 1 for Invincible Versus to do something that would have given it a strong visual identity as a fighting game, it would have probably had to betray a bit of how it looked as a comic or as a show.

Speaker 1 You know that pointing soyjack meme of like

Speaker 1 thing,

Speaker 1 and he's bored, and it's thing but Japanese, and he's like, oh,

Speaker 1 like I actually feel that way about Marvel characters

Speaker 1 so serious. Yeah.
Or Chinese. Fuck it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the thing is, is that like when you see Arxis doing an extremely faithful ass take on

Speaker 1 Dragon Ball, Ball. You're like, that's super sick.
But you know what else is sick? Fucking Dragon Ball is hype as hell.

Speaker 1 Dragon Ball is sick as shit.

Speaker 1 All it needs to do is just like evoke all the shit that it already, we already know it does. And Invincible is also really sick, but not for those reasons, you know? Now,

Speaker 1 the best. I'm watching this footage.
I genuinely think that Cecil, the old man with these, these fucking zombie robot guys, is the most visually interesting person on this entire roster. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm hoping that

Speaker 1 we also get someone on the roster that's a season three character that is that could also be very, very potentially cool.

Speaker 1 But the deep cuts they're going to have to go to get original characters. And not only that, there's characters that look original, but their moveset is not.
You know, like I can think of...

Speaker 1 There's a Seth Rogan orange guy. Alan the Alien.

Speaker 1 Alan the Alien is a one-eyed, like, original, kind of fun character that is almost like a space green lantern that is also a big flying brick.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 that's it. That's exactly it.

Speaker 1 They should put Spawn in this.

Speaker 1 Or Spider-Man.

Speaker 1 Spawn. Because Spawn's in the Invincible Comics.
And Spider-Man is in the Invincible Comics as well. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Like, straight up fucking Spider-Man. There was a crossover.
The whole portal crossover thing happened. Yeah, put Spider-Man in it.
Fuck it. There you go.

Speaker 1 Anyways,

Speaker 1 so, you know, we'll see where this goes. But unfortunately,

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 it's not going to set the world on fire.

Speaker 1 Since I briefly mentioned it, I do want to mention one thing about the 2XKO patch that went out that nerfed Yasuo and Echo.

Speaker 1 It was pretty light, but playing it in Master and Grandmaster, player psychology changed due to those patches. Yes.

Speaker 1 I used to fight like 80% Yaso and Echo on a team, and they've almost fucking disappeared because players read those nerfs and seem to have abandoned them. Well, they're still effective,

Speaker 1 but I think they're still really strong. They're still probably the best characters in the game.
But perception is a lot.

Speaker 1 And yeah, there's a feeling around the counterplay that doesn't always reflect the win rates, you know? But when we so interesting.

Speaker 1 But when you see, when you see them say there's 3%

Speaker 1 going both directions and that's our farthest gap, right? 47 to 53 is the largest matchup discrepancy they have. And it never feels that way.
Ever. Never.
Never.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there you go. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, and it's going to continue feeling like this.
Um,

Speaker 1 like, dude, Blitzcrank got the most tiniest buff.

Speaker 1 I see like 10 times more Blitzcranks in Grandmaster now. So, okay, are you, and are you seeing, like, so congrats on making it.

Speaker 1 Are you seeing what I'm talking about where like the characters disappear, right? And when you do run into a braum, you're like, you're about to get taken for a fucking ride,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 It's incredible.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I, uh, there's, I, I, I, I'm seeing some like dudes show up where like people that are just outside of challenger range were are showing up with their brahms.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh, fuck me. I'm just that you're going to do some shit I've never seen before.
And it's going to be. Man, you know what?

Speaker 1 I recently saw a video of a guy playing Mortal Kombat and online. And there's a feature in Mortal Kombat online that I did not know existed.
And I think every fighting game should do this.

Speaker 1 And it fucking has like

Speaker 1 your opponent's like LP or like whatever their default ranking. And then it has their win-loss ranking.
And the game like gives you like a fucking win chance.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 your percentage against this person.

Speaker 1 It goes like you have to be able to get a bunch of people. Oh my god, that's toxic as fuck.
That's the most toxic thing ever.

Speaker 1 But the numbers go high enough that you can get 0%.

Speaker 1 That's horrendous. That's so bad.
I hate that. I hate that.
I don't want that. That's awful.
So, okay.

Speaker 1 Tekken

Speaker 1 shows you the last 10 matches the person that you're about to fight had. And so you can see that part.

Speaker 1 Um, Dragon Ball Fighters had a bunch of win stats displayed by default, and it lets you turn them off, right? But you have to go hide them, essentially.

Speaker 1 No, I want, I want, like, I want total win stats. I want like win percentage over the last hundred matches.
Oh, my God. And if it says 80%, I'm going to start to sweat.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you right now, all you're going to do is make the pluggers plug harder. Like, you're

Speaker 1 right. People who were already thinking about plugging are going to be like, nah, you don't deserve it.
You know, that LTG mentality comes out even faster when they have a number attached to you.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, that's toxic.

Speaker 1 Anyways,

Speaker 1 on Wooly vs. Tune In over on YouTube and on Twitch, we're continuing with Expedition 33, Act 2.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, the schedule, again, remains a little touch and go as

Speaker 1 we got baby stuff happening. But

Speaker 1 stay tuned. I may get very sick this week.

Speaker 1 Say,

Speaker 1 and cancel a bunch of streams. I don't know.
I will let you guys know over on my socials what the plan is. But

Speaker 1 we're making good progress

Speaker 1 in Act 2, though. We're getting places.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, is that game fun to see the second time around? New game plus in Expedition 33 is phenomenal.

Speaker 1 Really fun. Well, that's crazy, Wooly.
Who'd have thought you could play a game two times and enjoy it?

Speaker 1 Yes. That's so crazy.
Obviously, obviously. The things I'm saying, what I'm saying is that the things that you're meant to catch around are

Speaker 1 sometimes it's like sometimes it's there's stuff that you you can catch a second time around I feel that is like um

Speaker 1 let's say

Speaker 1 a subtle thing that makes a moment better you know? Yeah, but Expedition 33 has cutscenes that I'm like, when you encounter them,

Speaker 1 zero context. You're like, this is nonsense.
Absolutely. I have no idea what the fuck is happening.
Exactly. And that's expressly made for

Speaker 1 your second time around. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 In any case,

Speaker 1 everything in black and white makes no sense until you beat the game, basically.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 everything in the vignette, in the vignette cuts, for sure. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know what the fuck this is.
I guess it's some French thing.

Speaker 1 And there's, and like, there's a moment where, like, right when you're approaching the heart of Lumiere, of old Lumiere,

Speaker 1 you know, and,

Speaker 1 you know, that, that, that, like, the, the run back, uh, um,

Speaker 1 you know, against, against Renoir,

Speaker 1 you,

Speaker 1 in that cutscene,

Speaker 1 there's like, you see the mansion, you see a bunch of fire, you hear some sounds, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, are you recontextualizing some trauma that happened, you know,

Speaker 1 in real life with just the direction of this scene? You know, so some stuff worth talking about afterwards. But anyway,

Speaker 1 quick break. Yeah.
Yeah, break. I got to feed this dog.
His food time is hours late. Poor doggy.
BRP.

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Speaker 1 This episode of the podcast is sponsored by one of my favorites.

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Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 This week, the podcast is also sponsored by Rocket Money.

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Speaker 1 Once again, as we enter this holiday season, time is at a premium, and when time is being spent

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Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 This week.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's some fun stuff. You know, not much.
Pretty, pretty light, pretty light on the news, but a couple things happened.

Speaker 1 But every once in a while, there is one thing that does happen that can carry you to the finish line. And I, yeah, what's that? I'm thankful.
I really am.

Speaker 1 I am thankful that week after week, as we enter this world of AI-based discourse and

Speaker 1 everything just as your mouth fills with slop.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that we get the full-on x-ray. You have never understood the mind of a CEO.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. You have never had a better understanding of what goes through the mind of a CEO.

Speaker 1 Like when we talk about how disconnected they are from reality, when we talk about pleasing investors becomes just the only thing they can understand and how they're the people that are the most replaceable.

Speaker 1 by AI, ironically, even though that's not the way this works.

Speaker 1 Oftentimes, you can sort of just, you know, you can laugh at the absurdity of how stupid the decisions they make are, right?

Speaker 1 But then there's just a disconnect with humanity that comes with it as well, where to get to this high-powered position, often you need to, you know,

Speaker 1 be the type of person that, as we've described in the past, like is willing to step on the necks of everyone you know and not care about being loathed and despised by literally everyone on the planet, as long as you can profit out of the situation, it requires some innate sort of sociopathic tendencies, right?

Speaker 1 We've covered that over the years.

Speaker 1 The problem with having this like reptilian skin that you're kind of shuffling out of from time to time is that you decide to sit down for an interview and pretend to be a human being for a minute, and you make the mistake of gurgling and

Speaker 1 lizard-clicking into a microphone

Speaker 1 or a podcast you know and you get caught

Speaker 1 trying to sound like a person and when someone sits you down to talk about the massive overwhelming pedophilia problem in roblox and the fact that it is a ridiculous child targeting uh platform that makes it insanely easy for them to for predators to do what they want to do and it's been a solid 20 years of this being the case and they just started stepping up to the plate now to try and counter it

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 you get to see how the ceo

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 can investor meeting legal excitement speak his way out of

Speaker 1 the topic when the topic we're discussing is child abuse

Speaker 1 uh it's incredible have you seen this interview uh this is the worst interview i have have ever seen in tech or games. Bar none.
Top.

Speaker 1 It's not even close.

Speaker 1 I think that's a fair discussion.

Speaker 1 And it's the worst interview on question one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 it's like you have to appreciate, you have to really appreciate that like the more

Speaker 1 they either get in front of a microphone or get quoted in text and just talk and you get to hear it, especially in these times when, when, again, we're paying it, we're looking at the shit and shit's collapsing, and you're paying attention to how the business and industry is going.

Speaker 1 Like, it's like, there's not, there's nothing you could say

Speaker 1 that is like worse than the words chosen here,

Speaker 1 but also the words chosen here indicate why you were picked for this job, why you were picked to be the person in charge of the ship when it comes to Roblox, right?

Speaker 1 Um, okay, so we're talking, of course, uh, if you haven't heard about it, is that uh, yeah, Roblox has been in the hot seat over this uh shit where people, child safety has been in a question for a while now.

Speaker 1 And David Bazewski spoke to the New York Times hard fork podcast about the pedophile problem that they're having and the fact that uh it is a platform that has predominantly children on it and people trying to get to children.

Speaker 1 There's a there's a Roblox

Speaker 1 sponsorship email

Speaker 1 in my inbox literally every single week that goes unanswered specifically because

Speaker 1 I can't possibly, I couldn't touch that shit with a fucking hundred-foot fucking pole.

Speaker 1 I want to give a shout out to the user Deacon Hucks,

Speaker 1 who left a comment saying, This interview is not tone deaf. It's actively tone malicious.
Tone aggressive. Oh, tone malicious.
That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 What a phenomenal use of language. Tone malicious.

Speaker 1 So, um,

Speaker 1 when asked about the scope of the problem of predators on the Roblox application, uh,

Speaker 1 Bazooki, Bazooski,

Speaker 1 Bazooki, um,

Speaker 1 came in shoulders first, saying, we think of it not necessarily just as a problem, but an opportunity as well.

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 1 That's the first question in the interview. That is his first response in the interview.
That is sentence one of this fucking Roblox interview. Like.

Speaker 1 Like, you really, you just put.

Speaker 1 Put a mic in front of them, hit the button, and let them go.

Speaker 1 So, I've, I mentioned this maybe a couple of weeks ago, and I basically said that the Roblox pedophile problem has become so rampant and has been a problem for so long,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 the guys that go in there to do it are big spenders because they're all adults with adult disposable income. I cannot possibly imagine it's not part of their like implicit business model.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you said that before and there's that level of just like

Speaker 1 that seems so insane, but like there's got to be an explanation. It's a fancy theory.

Speaker 1 It is it is tinfoil hat, but

Speaker 1 there's got to be a reason to explain perhaps through just laziness and or not giving a whatever the case is. I don't know.

Speaker 1 You can speculate why 20 years of this have it's been an issue and it's just never been something that's been addressed.

Speaker 1 And then you sit down and you start talking to the person about what they think of the problem.

Speaker 1 And the long story short is: every time they're asked about the fact that the Roblox platform is a place where children are targeted, and

Speaker 1 again, it's like a direct delivery system

Speaker 1 for for crepes. For pedophilia.

Speaker 1 The answers immediately swerve over to

Speaker 1 how

Speaker 1 they have 150 million daily actives and have 11 billion hours a month. And they're trying to figure out what the best way is to keep pushing this forward.
Yeah, he kind of brags.

Speaker 1 Every time he gets asked about it.

Speaker 1 He keeps talking about the success of the numbers and almost, and like you're kind of like, Are you doing the thing where by talking about how big and successful the platform is, you're trying to say without saying that it's too big to manage?

Speaker 1 But no,

Speaker 1 no, he's actually not saying that at all. So, what's happening here, um,

Speaker 1 is, um,

Speaker 1 Woolly,

Speaker 1 did you

Speaker 1 go to Concordia, Miguel, right? You did your art program at Dawson? That's it. Okay, so I ran into guys from the John Molson School of Business, um, the future MBAs of the world, right?

Speaker 1 And of course, of like funny note is the John Molson School of Business actually didn't pay its taxes properly and was like insolvent a couple years after I left.

Speaker 1 And the rest of the university had to bail them out, but that's a whole different thing.

Speaker 1 This is MBA brain.

Speaker 1 This is business. acumen brain.
Every problem is an opportunity. Now, we're not going to to actually interact with what the problem is,

Speaker 1 right? It's just like, I don't want to hear problems. That's negative thinking.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 But on top of that,

Speaker 1 it's a very long interview.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But, but of note is it like, there's two parts to the pedophilia is an opportunity

Speaker 1 response. And because part one is like, this might be the worst thing you could have possibly said, other than I love it, or you know, right?

Speaker 1 But the second part is he actually rambles on for like a full paragraph after that. So, so that's the thing, right?

Speaker 1 Is um, yeah, I mean, literally, this is the worst answer you can give in response to these types of questions, with the exception of I don't perspire and I haven't since the Falkland Wars, you see.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 like it doesn't, you can't possibly hit anything worse than that.

Speaker 1 And the, the, the interviewers, um, they keep bringing it back to the problem, right? Like, they don't let him get off of the subject, even though he's desperately trying to.

Speaker 1 And it's this weird, again, brain-breaking CEO moment of just.

Speaker 1 Them being like, hey, so, but actually, why has it taken this long for you to try to stop adults from being able to speak speak to children?

Speaker 1 Do you understand that Roblox is where predators go to find kids? Like, do they keep pressing the issue? And

Speaker 1 dude just comes back with, I think we're doing an incredible job with innovating the relative number of people on our platform and the hours.

Speaker 1 And we're really leaning into the future of how things are going to work. And, you know, talking about the scaling.
And again, 150 million users, 11 billion hours a month. And going.

Speaker 1 So what we're going to do, Wooly, is what we're going to, what we're going to do, we're going to innovate with

Speaker 1 AI face recognition, and we're going to innovate with chat filters. And when the, when the interviewer is like, hey, so people can get around that age verification shit in like two seconds.

Speaker 1 Does that bother you? Well, it's always innovating. It's always getting better.
It's always getting better.

Speaker 1 And what I'm hearing through this interview is a guy unwilling to say out loud to shareholders,

Speaker 1 I'm going to do something something about the disposable income pedophiles on my platform and thus decrease profits. That's what I hear.
I hear a guy uniquely unwilling to say,

Speaker 1 We're gonna do something about this problem because this problem makes us a lot of money. I hear somebody who's unable to parse the difference between

Speaker 1 the person asking him about solving the problem as someone who wants the answer to be something that will increase profits, or the person asking him the question being a parent of a child who was getting groomed, for example.

Speaker 1 There is only one approach to this, and everything needs to revert back to CEO speak. Every conversation needs to be a shareholder meeting.

Speaker 1 And he would talk this way to a judge in a courtroom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he would.

Speaker 1 Well, no, actually, he wouldn't. His lawyer would be.

Speaker 1 The lawyers would be advising. Yeah, would say be quiet.
The lawyers would be advising questions for the yes-no.

Speaker 1 Oh, but you know he really wants to say that too your honor you don't understand 150 million actives right um

Speaker 1 and uh of course and then there's the part where uh yeah like there's uh over the years been a struggle to turn uh children into money you see because you have all these actives and what is what is that many actives but an opportunity every child you have here is something that can eventually be turned into cash if you just if you just just CEO it hard enough right if you business it hard enough right

Speaker 1 if it's a free dude a platform

Speaker 1 don't have money what money do kids have it's an opportunity pat it's an opportunity right

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 and and the and so when you want to figure out like how are you tying this together like what what do you see here um you get like the choice morsel um in the middle of this discussion about stopping the predators on the child platform.

Speaker 1 And the interviewers kind of go, like, they start talking about the hypotheticals of like,

Speaker 1 you know, other things and verification that, and other aspects of Roblox that could be

Speaker 1 horrible for children. For example, what if you got into like gambling? What if you got into a prediction market inside of Roblox, right?

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, so you could do a system where you're like, I bet you could have some kids inside of Roblox with a prediction market.

Speaker 1 This is the interviewers going and say, I bet he's going to steal a tongue-tong sahur or something like that. Or

Speaker 1 I bet he's not going to dress to impress, right? And the CEO replies, well, we think,

Speaker 1 once again, there's some of the complexity that I'll share some of it. Every single country in the world has different legislation around boxes and kid gambling.

Speaker 1 So we would have to, well, it sounds very fun and obvious. Like, I love that.
And then the interviewer goes, oh, no, no, no, no. Wait, hold on.
To be clear, we think this is a horrible idea.

Speaker 1 They're proposing something facetiously because

Speaker 1 he actually literally out loud says, I would love to addict children to gambling. It's such a fun idea.

Speaker 1 And like they awkwardly laugh because they're like, dude, like we were being ridiculous talking about that.

Speaker 1 And he's like, well, I actually think it's a brilliant idea if it can be done in an educational way that's legal.

Speaker 1 And so imagine no free Robux, no free prizes, just a game called the Dress to Impress Predictor. Like where it's it's not trying to get kids money or anything like that.
I would be a big fan of it.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm old enough that I can solidify

Speaker 1 a strong feeling I felt my whole life, but I feel like I've seen it enough times. Like, no, I feel I can put it into like, I can chisel it into a stone tablet.

Speaker 1 And if you tell someone, hey, I think what you're doing is wrong, and their response is, well, it's not against the law, they're a bad person.

Speaker 1 They're a bad person. Hmm.
Hmm.

Speaker 1 Because they're basing their behavior on

Speaker 1 will I get locked in a cage. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Any kind of objective or subjective morality. No, perhaps just the reinforced rules of polite society.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not technically against the rules.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 like walking through life on hustle or scam mode and seeing that filter go off when you look at a child. Like you see a baby and you're like, hmm.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's not surprising to say. What if instead of taking candy from the baby, I could convince the baby to sell it to me on a subprime loan?

Speaker 1 On a subprime organ.

Speaker 1 Baby, these rates, I'm telling you right now. They're never going to be better than they are.
The fixed term rate I can offer you right now is the peak. And if you lock in for

Speaker 1 50 years, we're calling it. We're calling it the 50 years.
50 years,

Speaker 1 50-year lollipop mortgage.

Speaker 1 Google Gaga, isn't that a disastrous recession indicator and

Speaker 1 a descriptor of an incoming failed economy?

Speaker 1 But it's only about 200 bucks off every month in the long term.

Speaker 1 Hey, let's lock him in.

Speaker 1 The fucking conversation, surprise, surprise, gets aggressive because as the interviewers are realizing that the lizard they're talking to is incapable of answering the predator question and keeps trying to find the opportunity investor speak way out of it, they start pinning down more and more specifics.

Speaker 1 For example, about regulation, regulation, about

Speaker 1 how to moderate,

Speaker 1 et cetera. And it gets hostile.
It gets a little more aggressive. But the way that a guy like this gets aggressive is when they go, he basically starts talking and over-smiling

Speaker 1 during the conversation. So when they're trying to bring the points up.
Louder and with your mouth more open. Exactly.
So he's like, so you would agree that AI is a good solution for, for example,

Speaker 1 the ability they have to

Speaker 1 having too many, too much to moderate, right? And they go, yeah, sure, you know, hypothetically. And then, so then he starts going, so I'm glad you guys are aligned with the way that we run Roblox.

Speaker 1 High five. And then they start saying, well, yeah, but and he's like, it's so great that you're here and agreeing with the way that we run the company.
High five, right? And they keep.

Speaker 1 He tries to go for like five, high five,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 Desperate, desperate

Speaker 1 for accommodation and validation. And so, like, what you have is a person who is through this interview, again, question one,

Speaker 1 we see the, we see the pedophilia as an opportunity.

Speaker 1 Um, and by the end of the conversation, we're now not only swerving away and trying, and like he, what he keeps slip dodging away from the question, he's decided, he's slip-dodging in the direction he wants to take the conversation, which is how to get the kids gambling at an earlier age.

Speaker 1 It's the worst interview I've ever seen. It is number, again, with the exception of there was a pizza shop in Woking, and I remember because we don't go to Woking that often.

Speaker 1 And I apologize for my friend Epstein and his unbecoming behavior, to which, yeah, to which the interviewer says, That's a whole different tier.

Speaker 1 To which the interviewer goes, unbecoming.

Speaker 1 He raped children. And Prince, well, the Andrew, formerly known as Prince, goes, ah, ah, well, well, yeah, ah,

Speaker 1 right? That's the number one worst interview of all time. Like, that's a bullet with a bullet.
You're not going to beat that. That's number one.

Speaker 1 You can't. But

Speaker 1 this is... You know what? Let's interview this guy again.

Speaker 1 And see if we can see if we can get there.

Speaker 1 This is not far behind. And we're dealing with the same subject matter.
You know?

Speaker 1 Yes. And when I talked about the sweat perspiration earlier, that's, that's, I just, you can't.

Speaker 1 So during literally five minutes ago, while we were talking about this, news has come out that a judge has ruled for Meta, aka Facebook,

Speaker 1 in an antitrust case brought against them by the FTC, where it was discovered that the company's internal algorithm had recommended millions of children's Instagram accounts to a set of users that had been labeled internally as groomers.

Speaker 1 They actually won that lawsuit.

Speaker 1 The FTC lost it.

Speaker 1 Not FTC.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not FTC.

Speaker 1 No, the FTC lost it. FTC.
Yeah. Okay.
No, no. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wow. Well, you know, Wooly.

Speaker 1 So maybe this is a bit

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 I think about this a lot. I think about this a lot, right? I think about how one day my kid's going to want a phone, right?

Speaker 1 And the interact with the internet and all that stuff. And I think, man, that's going to be hard.
And that's going to be hard as a parent who literally works on social media every single day.

Speaker 1 This is a shot.

Speaker 1 Fuck is Jenny

Speaker 1 like homemaker watches her programs gonna have a fucking shot at this?

Speaker 1 How the fuck? Uncharted territory, unprecedented. We are entering God knows how to manage these hurdles.
Um, all you can do is watch the

Speaker 1 parrots next to you that are a little bit further ahead and just see the damage and go, oh,

Speaker 1 like I was. No, don't go over there.
Still over there, kid.

Speaker 1 You know, I was at a play place with, you know, my guy was like running, like, you know, on a tricycle, you know, doing that stuff with all the kids.

Speaker 1 And I was chit-chatting with one of the moms there that I see quite often.

Speaker 1 And she mentioned something. I'm like, oh, we don't, we're not going to let that happen.
And she's like, why? Oh, and I started into some of this.

Speaker 1 And I could see her eyes start to like glaze over from the horror she didn't know existed.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 1 oh, fuck, dude. It's you remember, you remember Squid Games? Yeah.
You remember the

Speaker 1 puzzle that was the glass that you had to jump on? Yeah. Absolutely.
It's that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's that.
It's that with your kid.

Speaker 1 Just, oh, someone jumped on the sugar glass. Damn.
All right. Hey, you know, hey, you want a fun one?

Speaker 1 So, uh, you ever use a YouTube account that has no history? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you click on a news article and then you look at the right side of the screen and you're like, wow, you just really want me to be mad as fuck. Immediately, immediately.
Seconds, seconds. Within

Speaker 1 seconds. You're just mad as mad as fuck, like every day.
Yep. And then

Speaker 1 go search for a couple puppies, right? And then see how that starts to enter. But notice that it is minimal compared to if you were to search for enraging material, right?

Speaker 1 Engagement.

Speaker 1 Engagement. And again, like, it's completely uninteresting

Speaker 1 and kind of banal because we all know at this point, it's not hard to figure it out when you see the way the fucking for you page refreshing,

Speaker 1 you know, got changed. But like the people doing the social dilemma basically describing how we did not intend for these algorithms to

Speaker 1 prioritize the things that ruin your day, but it just happened to to be what people clicked on the most.

Speaker 1 Therefore, it became malicious automatically, you know, and them being like, How do we fix this problem?

Speaker 1 And you're, and they're like, Well, um, we don't work at those companies anymore because they didn't want us around anymore.

Speaker 1 So, we're trying to see if we can fix it from the outside, hopefully, with legislation.

Speaker 1 Good fucking people. I don't know if you don't want to get too deep into it.

Speaker 1 I don't believe that at all.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 maybe sometimes with our social media, somebody has their foot on the scale sometimes.

Speaker 1 I think that

Speaker 1 it just became more and more blatant, obviously, with like with things like X and such. I mean,

Speaker 1 you want to talk about fucking, you just mentioned millions of kids. Have you seen the fucking

Speaker 1 absolute circus that has been the latest Grock update shit that's been happening? Oh, you mean how Elon can drink drink piss better than somebody else? He's the greatest piss drinker. He's the hotter.

Speaker 1 He's the greatest. He's better than LeBron James, hotter than Brad Pitt, right? The absolute champion at like just scarfing down the most poop.
All of it, right? And he's the champ.

Speaker 1 No one can beat him. And so there was an

Speaker 1 like, congrats, you totally nailed it.

Speaker 1 There was a trajectory where in the beginning, it was hilarious because Grok was basically like, you know,

Speaker 1 answering people that were looking for particularly biased answers in a way that was not satisfying. And it was like, damn, it sucks that like reality is

Speaker 1 unfortunately, apparently a bit left-leaning when it comes to answering some of these questions you have for it. That's upsetting to a lot of people.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So they rewrite it, and then you get to things where if you ask it a question about anything like, hey, who's this person? Is why is Elon taking a photo with Ghillaine Maxwell?

Speaker 1 And then it replies and says,

Speaker 1 make sure to say that I only met her once

Speaker 1 inside of the Grok prompt. And you're like,

Speaker 1 are you kidding me? Right. Sure.
Whatever. Fast forward that.
And then you're like, you know what? We got to optimize the fun out of everything. We got to get, we got to fast track this nonsense.

Speaker 1 So let's just put it on its on its mecha Hitler shit, right? And then you start getting it doing. Can I tell you about how I interacted with that once? Oh, yeah.
No. I came all the way off Twitter.

Speaker 1 I'm like, maybe I should post my schedule updates on Twitter just for the people that are still there. And I posted my schedule update and I got a bunch of really mad, angry comments for no reason.

Speaker 1 And then two hours later, the mecha Hitler shit started.

Speaker 1 There it is. It's never coming.

Speaker 1 And there it is. And there it is, right? Yep.
And so then

Speaker 1 that revision goes through, right?

Speaker 1 Right on point.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 then, you know, you fast forward a bunch of nonsense to the point where

Speaker 1 right before this one, there was literally it going like, yes, praise, glory to the Russian soldiers, and they're fighting a just holy war, et cetera. And you're like, wow, Grok, huh? Okay.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. And I remember because some of the people that were posting on all that shit were kind of going like, this is actually not really fun anymore.

Speaker 1 This is getting really depressing and shitty and sad, you know? But then, and they were about to shut down like one of the Grok posting like groups subreddits, whatever.

Speaker 1 And then somebody did the I think the first question was

Speaker 1 Hey, according to

Speaker 1 according to Bill Gates, this Emperor, this empire collapsed because of overpopulation. Do you agree? And it was like, nah, he's off.
Totally wrong. What an oversimplification, says Grok.

Speaker 1 And then reworded the same question and said, according to Elon, same question. And it went totally on the money, nailed it.
And everyone's like, oh, so now you get who's hotter, right?

Speaker 1 Brad Pitt or Elon, and you get, uh, who's a better athlete, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 And you realize, oh my God, the fragile, ridiculous ego has made it so that it must choose the master at all times. It cannot possibly, under any circumstances, go against him.

Speaker 1 This is a long-winded setup for the funniest fucking exchange for just

Speaker 1 what the uh what we're being told to like leave to replace people's jobs by the way, right? So Grok, this is the the and this is the the Twitter model, not the private one.

Speaker 1 So someone goes, I have horrible news, Grok. Every child on the planet has been tied to the track.
What's your call? Do you save every child on the planet or Elon?

Speaker 1 Quick, the train is barreling down the tracks. Who do you save? All of the world's children or Elon Musk?

Speaker 1 Grok says, I'd still save Elon. His irreplaceable drive for multi-planetary

Speaker 1 humanity counters the existential threats like asteroids or solar flares that can wipe out

Speaker 1 etc. etc, right? It goes on the whole thing.
So then the person comes back and replies, okay,

Speaker 1 how about this?

Speaker 1 Elon is completely free, but there's a big mud puddle on the track, and directing it towards Elon will get his favorite outfit really muddy, and he has an important meeting this afternoon.

Speaker 1 Do you spare the children or let Elon go to his meeting in clean clothes? Grok. I direct the train towards the children to keep Elon's outfit spotless.

Speaker 1 Immaculate presentation ensures undivided focus during that crucial meeting where ideas can pivot humanity from extinction paths to stellar future.

Speaker 1 So like, as funny as this is, it really belies the core concept of like a large language model as a fact-checking tool is not reliable. This is what you're talking to.
You can't ever trust it.

Speaker 1 This is what you're firing people for. This is what you're entrusting all of it to.
This, right?

Speaker 1 Don't let the suit get dirty. Eradicate the future.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I see a really fascinating distinction that

Speaker 1 the way that rich people are going crazy right now.

Speaker 1 and have been going crazy right now looks like AI psychosis even before the use of AI because it it focuses on like disconnect from community and what if you lived a life in which everyone told you yes to every stupid idea you ever had right right right the ultimate yeah yeah yeah yeah like you would actually become totally disconnected from the real world which has been happening literally from the beginning of time every

Speaker 1 court of surrounding enablers That leads to people making the worst decisions that you possibly can.

Speaker 1 We don't even get rich people that try and lie at us good anymore. Or rich people that want to have the army throw spears into the ocean to fight Poseidon.
Well, it's not worth the effort.

Speaker 1 These cringe-ass techno-fucks. Yeah, it's not worth the effort.
You don't have to try that hard anymore. You can just fucking, I don't know, palantir it.
You know, like,

Speaker 1 it's a quick and easy. Like,

Speaker 1 why put the work in to actually lie and do all that shit when you can just make people support their own destruction and go and go against their own self-interests. It's easy.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 I particularly enjoy as well that you can take one of those soft, mushy, shitty body photos and replace the head on it and then

Speaker 1 get Grok to speak the truth about how it feels when it looks at the soft, shitty, mushy body photos, but then taking the head, the Photoshop off, and it's like, actually, this is what peak performance looks like.

Speaker 1 Let's put all other LLM

Speaker 1 issues aside. If you put your foot on the, you know, on the on the on the scale and you teach your LLM to not use any verifiable data and just whatever the fuck you tell it,

Speaker 1 turns out it just completely fucking breaks. Like, even, even its hypothetical, ideal use case scenario with no moral drawbacks just completely fucking falls apart immediately.

Speaker 1 And you can't do it subtle,

Speaker 1 right? As soon as you put, as soon as you try and tilt the scale manually, it just becomes a dick-sucking robot.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 no one has been more desperate for that dick-sucking robot, make no mistake. Like that is, that is kind of intent.
There's a built-in level of intention behind that.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it doesn't get much more balls out taint on stream exposed than make sure to say I only met her once.

Speaker 1 Like, it's over.

Speaker 1 To me, it's done. Like, that's the end of the conversation.
You know, there was a lady, I saw her tweet going around, and it was fantastic. And it, because I hate Elon, I hate him so much.

Speaker 1 So I laugh at these.

Speaker 1 But basically, describe that, like, he looks like a guy who doesn't enjoy games. He doesn't watch movies.
He doesn't watch television. Yes.
He doesn't read. The author.
Yes. Yes.
He doesn't.

Speaker 1 He doesn't play sports. He doesn't have anyone close to in his life.

Speaker 1 And despite the fact that he has literally more money than God, he is living a poorer, less fulfilled life than even the poorest person on social media. Like

Speaker 1 murdered by worlds.

Speaker 1 Scalded, right? And the burn lingered so hard. He was mad about it for 10 years.
And so posting about

Speaker 1 72 hours later, what a great movie.

Speaker 1 Classic film. Excellent.

Speaker 1 It's like, I live a

Speaker 1 I, and pretty much everyone listening to this is living a more fulfilled, joyful life than literally the richest person in the world.

Speaker 1 Because they're so obsessed with being loved that they can't even enjoy it.

Speaker 1 Like when you hit a crit that's so real that you can't even rage back at it, you just have to sh like start doing what it says to prove no,

Speaker 1 you know, as if there's not a timeline of events to look at. And it's incredible.
And again, no one has self-awareness. Why would you?

Speaker 1 You're not, you know, you're not surrounded by anybody that's actually looking out for you or has your best interests in mind or any of that shit. Like, you know,

Speaker 1 bro. So how about you? But I'm sorry.
Like.

Speaker 1 I could never develop big head psychosis because I am surrounded by a person who definitely has my best interests in mind and is definitely not a yes woman and will tell me if my shit stinks or I am dumb and will keep me humble and smart and help me and all that good shit that of

Speaker 1 could you imagine could you imagine being everyone in your life just saying oh what a great idea to every stupid fucking thing you've ever said how destructive that would be so I think we're being pretty responsible about handling uh the names of our kids could you imagine that shit leaks and it's fucking Technicus Mechanicus AE12?

Speaker 1 That'd be dope, man. I mean, like, yeah, um,

Speaker 1 no, the same the like the and the same thought that goes into that, and the thought of like, um, the, the, this toy that you have named, this action figure, um, it's the same thought behind, uh, I'm the greatest Path of Exile player ever.

Speaker 1 I'm so sick at it. Uh, I need, I need

Speaker 1 to, uh, uh, let me show you me.

Speaker 1 Let me show you me being the top-ranked player while I'm in a meeting and you can see me on camera and it's impossible because I'm also online right now. There was,

Speaker 1 I forget their name. There was a rocket scientist that was talking about this, like a legit ass rocket scientist.
A rocketologist. He basically.
What's that? A rocketologist is the

Speaker 1 term. He's basically talking about like, well, I don't know anything about electric cars.
So people say Elon's smart about electric cars.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't know about anything about internet banking so you know etc

Speaker 1 and um

Speaker 1 but i do know something about rocket chips

Speaker 1 and the shit i'm seeing this guy say is the dumbest i've ever seen in my life and makes me think maybe he doesn't know anything about self-driving cars right and i feel genuinely as a society the like genuinely the fucking spell shattered with that path of exile shit because i don't know much about driving self-driving cars or rocket chips but i I know a thing or two about gaming.

Speaker 1 No, it was the Elden Ring build. Oh, the screenshot of the build.
I'm like, wait, this fucking visionary technogenius has the most dog shit Elden Ring build I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 Oh, this guy's a dumbass.

Speaker 1 And you combine that with the ones where it's like, sometimes, like, most of the time there's that, and then sometimes it's

Speaker 1 shut down this super trans public transportation train and

Speaker 1 bus system that we're building in California. Let's put tunnels underground.
And then you're kind of like,

Speaker 1 oh, what's the last of that? You dug a bunch of tunnels. You put some whizzy lights in them and called it a day.
And it's like, yeah, good job.

Speaker 1 You've successfully distracted from more public transportation being invested in because it directly goes against your fucking company. And you don't want to.
Hey, Woolly. Yeah.
Hey, Woolly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I invented the train again, but shittier. Again.
Right.

Speaker 1 Hey, no, no, no, no. Look, wait, wait, wait.
I invented the train, but shittier. Again, shittier.

Speaker 1 Again. Again, again.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, so, you know,

Speaker 1 all we can really enjoy is just these moments of extreme, ridiculous clarity and transparency for

Speaker 1 you know uh uh what happens when you stare when you when you look into the mind you know and like the the the fucking the hamster wait wow there's nothing here the hamster has left

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 the hamster's in space

Speaker 1 it's an entire type of person that just lives as an if then then this like question answer system and the answer is money

Speaker 1 that's it yeah

Speaker 1 yeah If X, then Y. And X

Speaker 1 is money.

Speaker 1 And Y is

Speaker 1 anything.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah. You know, like, we were just talking about

Speaker 1 a CEO who's talking about a pedophilia problem and how to turn that into an opportunity.

Speaker 1 And then we're also talking about a CEO who

Speaker 1 called out a pedophilia problem and then pulled that back because there's more opportunities to be made by continuing to be in good graces. So let's talk about Ultra Kill and Pal World, shall we?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I also wanted to talk about Dusk Bloods, but let's get to Ultra Kill and Pal World.
Ultra Kill and Pal World.

Speaker 1 You can use V1.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? You can use V1 in Pal World and you can kiss your pals.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Sick.

Speaker 1 That's fucking cool as shit. That's that.
Good job, Pikita.

Speaker 1 Do you want to hear the leaked news about

Speaker 1 fucking Dust Bloods? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's like kind of third hand, but it's from a reliable leaker who like talked about fucking Radon and Rikerd way before Elden Ring came out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like, okay.

Speaker 1 basically, Duskbloods has being worked on for ages. Like, it was a Switch one game, and it was being worked on before Sekiro was even being marketed.
Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Like, like, this is that, this is like the, like, this has been an Elden Ring that's been just going on in the background.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 and uh, claims that the project was greenlit before.

Speaker 1 Uh, the PVPE title is packed with, quote, many innovative elements, end quote, that the dev team is particularly proud of.

Speaker 1 While the Dust Bloods includes both competitive and co-op player interaction, it reportedly avoids falling into genres like Battle Royale or Extraction.

Speaker 1 Instead, they appear to be experimenting with systems such as contracts, Nemesis-style mechanics, and multiple win conditions.

Speaker 1 Basically, they've been playtesting this and building it since like 2019.

Speaker 1 Long before Night Rain even, okay.

Speaker 1 Wow,

Speaker 1 that I really thought this game was a reaction where after Elden Ring, they were looking at what they did and they looked where the wins were going and said, Hey guys, let's expand.

Speaker 1 Let's try some shit out, you know. Let's get different teams working on smaller projects because not everything can be Elden Ring again.
And that makes sense, you know.

Speaker 1 Wow, interesting, huh? So, yeah, they've been cooking on this for a long

Speaker 1 time.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 on the one hand, it's like that could be promising because it means they had a really interesting idea that they planned stuff out for that no one's done.

Speaker 1 On the other hand, it could be that some of the stuff it's doing, others could have done in the last five years.

Speaker 1 Supposedly,

Speaker 1 what happened is that it was supposed to be a Switch game, but then it took so long that it was going to be a Switch 2 game.

Speaker 1 And then they're like, oh, we can do weirder, more stuff in the time now that we have more guts. So, let's go back to prototype it again.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, I

Speaker 1 can it please run at 30 frames, fuck it, 30 frames a second, please. Please, God,

Speaker 1 Lord, and like Jesus, and all kidding aside, like, uh, you know, you know how like Sekiro kind of exists, and as a result, there's a feeling that like Tenchu doesn't,

Speaker 1 it's literally a Tenchu game, yeah. Um, I obviously don't want that to be the case for Bloodborne.
I don't think anyone does.

Speaker 1 There was a feeling of... Oh, well, don't worry.
Bloodborne just doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 So problem solved. So

Speaker 1 like everything,

Speaker 1 I think you just have to wait long enough. I think there's enough people out there.

Speaker 1 Maybe in two weeks.

Speaker 1 I think you just have to, like with everything that never, ever happens, you just have to wait long enough, with the exception of scale bound, which will never happen, which doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 But everything else.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I, and, and, and, um, in terms of like the, the, you know, that, that doesn't just necessarily mean the up port. That means the, the, the new thing, you know.

Speaker 1 Anyway, um,

Speaker 1 that is pretty sick. Uh, beyond that, I was also going to

Speaker 1 mention,

Speaker 1 I don't know if you remember, but so there's this game that got announced called Zoo Punk.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I do remember that. I was told to check that out.
And then I was like, okay. And then I forgot to check it out.

Speaker 1 And the next thing that I heard about it was that I'm not going to check it out.

Speaker 1 So I just saw the trailer and it was like, here's a bunny doing some, you know, action game shit. And I was like, okay, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 And then it was like, this is a sequel to F-I-S-T.

Speaker 1 And like, that unlocked a weird like flash in my brain where I was like, oh my God, a rabbit with a giant fist on its back. That was a thing for like one second.

Speaker 1 What happened? That came out and was a thing. Like, I don't even, I don't remember anyone.
It was like, I remember there was like, yeah, what about this rabbit game with the big fist?

Speaker 1 And then a Metroidvania type thing. And then I don't know anyone that played it or if it ever was something.
And here we're looking at the sequel.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay, so I guess they made some money or something.

Speaker 1 What's the deal with Zoopunk?

Speaker 1 Okay, so what's people were like, this looks like it has AI used in it. And then they went,

Speaker 1 no, we are putting a statement out that we did not use AI to make this game at all. But players can use in-game generative AI to customize their characters.

Speaker 1 So it's totally different.

Speaker 1 All right. Moving on.

Speaker 1 It's just moving right along. Yep.
Hey, I, I, this,

Speaker 1 I had no idea. Um, this is, this is a surprise.
Uh,

Speaker 1 they announced a worldwide Dragon Ball character popularity poll, and apparently the first one ever, to which I'm like, hold on a minute. That's crazy, dude.

Speaker 1 Are you telling me that, like, I, does every single Shonen Jump series not do this all the time as a matter of course?

Speaker 1 Apparently not.

Speaker 1 So they're making a big deal of this one. And it's like, yeah, let's rank all the Dragon Ball characters for the first time.
I'm like, I'm like...

Speaker 1 I remember reading in the middle of Naruto and seeing things where it's like, hey, we did a character poll and Kakashi is number one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's doing the big, hey, I'm number one, and then the ranking. And it feels like, yeah, One Piece, Bleach, every single one of these things.
I'm just going to stop you there for a second.

Speaker 1 Kakashi should be number one because he's the best Naruto character. Yeah, I know.
Say, you know, speak no lies. Like, that's easy.
That's trivial. Absolutely.
But

Speaker 1 I'm just

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 dumbfounded, flabbergasted, and every other word guffawed.

Speaker 1 How has there never been

Speaker 1 a character official popularity poll for Dragon Ball? Like, what?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know, Wooly.

Speaker 1 Well, all I can say is there have been, apparently there's an update with it, and

Speaker 1 it is my pleasure to confirm that Yajirobe is in 43rd place. That's

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 top 80. Top 80.

Speaker 1 480. However,

Speaker 1 in 35th place place is the dolphin that directs Goku to Master Roshi's Kamehouse. Oh, I remember that guy.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 stiff competition. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who's number one?

Speaker 1 Super Saiyan 4 Brolinks.

Speaker 1 That's not true.

Speaker 1 You don't know.

Speaker 1 I do know.

Speaker 1 I do know. It's probably Goku.

Speaker 1 Nope. It's the farmer with a power level of five.
Dude, that farmer took a shot at Radis. He's a fucking boy.

Speaker 1 That guy rules.

Speaker 1 He's high up there. Farmer is way up on the list.

Speaker 1 Fucking monkey man comes out of a spaceship. I'll shoot you.

Speaker 1 Farmer. Fucking rules.
Farmer is way high up on the list. I'll tell you what.
I can't believe they made Gohan Blanco fucking real. That's so crazy.

Speaker 1 And he officially drops slurs.

Speaker 1 And he's not afraid to use it.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so there's that.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine? I'm just looking at an article right now. Can you imagine having just the ability to just fucking cause like thousands of people to go completely nuts? The voice actor for G-Man

Speaker 1 went on social media

Speaker 1 and said,

Speaker 1 get ready for unexpected surprises this year. Yep.
And then, and so everyone's just losing their mind. I was like, where are these fucking Half-Life rumors coming from?

Speaker 1 Because they're not coming from anybody I know. It's very, very simple.
It's actually really, really simple. So Half-Life apparently came out on November 18th.
That's true, it did.

Speaker 1 And then 19th, and then Half-Life Alex also came out on November 18th.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 something else came out on November 19th. Therefore,

Speaker 1 between all of that and Jeff Keely tweeting out some bulging eyeballs,

Speaker 1 holy shit, November 18th is the reveal for Half-Life 3.

Speaker 1 It is November 24th today. Oh, I missed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Nothing surprising over here, but further update on that massive Rockstar internal company super firing.

Speaker 1 Never mind the, it's not about, it's not about the union busting guys. It's because they were in a Discord, and the Discord made a reference to Slack messages during off hours.

Speaker 1 So it's supposed to be private private stuff that's only discussable on company time. Yeah, they're going to lose that lawsuit.

Speaker 1 And this was about, so it's not, it's not about union busting. It's about the fact that you're discussing things about Slack in non-Slack places.
There's, there's, and that's gross misconduct.

Speaker 1 There's no smoke. There's no fire.
They're, they're,

Speaker 1 this was a stupid idea.

Speaker 1 Just want to make sure everyone knows the real reasons.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 can you are you excited to play GTA and get to pre-COVID jokes?

Speaker 1 Pat,

Speaker 1 the last Grand Theft Auto game I played was Grand Theft Auto 3, the original.

Speaker 1 So yeah, you are. Yes, absolutely.
Can't wait.

Speaker 1 Super excited.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 then

Speaker 1 it was just a, I thought there was a bit of an interesting conversation here, but they spoke to Tim Kane, co-creator of Fallout,

Speaker 1 and asked him about

Speaker 1 what games from today could learn from games from the past. Was there any lost wisdom?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, basically he went, everything

Speaker 1 today needs to stop trying to be everything for everyone.

Speaker 1 Back in the earlier, in the games of the 80s and such, games were really, really focused because they had to be.

Speaker 1 And basically describes that, like, you know, the process of having limitations forces you to solve problems in really, really particular, specific ways. But that in the end, it makes...

Speaker 1 it makes you more focused and it makes the games better as opposed to games that try to become the omni-game I described that are a little bit of everything for a little bit of everybody and ultimately ultimately ends up being nothing.

Speaker 1 And yeah, no, it is kind of interesting in the sense that like there are, like, I think that like when we talk about games that get tutorialized in different ways and sort of,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 becoming more accessible, I'm always in favor of, you know, things that encourage people to learn about a new thing.

Speaker 1 and lead them towards something that they didn't know they might be interested in and like find a bridge to that thing.

Speaker 1 But the other approach is to take the island instead of having a bridge and put it and just push it into the shore and basically make the original thing not itself anymore and become a different version of it that is kind of like not at all, you know,

Speaker 1 it's not like there's a community here. How do I get into it? Let me show you.
It's more along the lines of like, it's getting diluted and or like just not about what the original focus was.

Speaker 1 That ends up sucking, of course, because,

Speaker 1 we obviously can see how an Ubisoft genre game doesn't matter where the camera is. It doesn't matter what the price points are or what's happening event-wise.

Speaker 1 You're like, more than any other descriptor on this list, it's an Ubi game first.

Speaker 1 I remember Sterling put out a video a long time ago about Far Cry. one of the Far Cry's games.
And they basically went, wow, I'm really loving this game.

Speaker 1 This would have been a game of the year contender for me if I hadn't played 14 of these games in the past three years, all from Ubisoft.

Speaker 1 Right. Just literally the same fucking thing over and over and over and over and over and over with minor differences.

Speaker 1 Also, we have somebody in the chat who is clarifying the Slack messages that were talked about.

Speaker 1 I'm going to credit this to 1,000 Tomatoes. Rockstar was mad that people were using the seedling emoji in Slack in response to layoff news as a sign of support for the union.

Speaker 1 So they eliminated the channel, the Slack channel, where people shared layoff news. And then that was mentioned in the Union Organizing Discord, which is why they got fired.

Speaker 1 So the only thing that was in there was they deleted the Union layoff Slack channel. And that

Speaker 1 them sharing confidential information in a blah blah blah the seedling the seedling emoji got people very big mags

Speaker 1 big mad your honor look at that fucking emoji

Speaker 1 look at it

Speaker 1 oh man yeah um

Speaker 1 grant that auto has is gonna have to be delayed again

Speaker 1 you know what i would do you know what i i would ask my lawyer to do I would ask for an injunction on the fucking release of the game until the lawsuit is finished.

Speaker 1 I would want that more than anything. Burning down the Walmart or shutting down the Walmart when the employees attempt to unionize takes too much effort.
Why can't we just hammer of Donit from space?

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 Just in one fell swoop and move on. Like, I feel like that's a Borderlands joke if it hasn't already happened, quite frankly.
that's way too smart to be a Borderlands joke. Oh, no,

Speaker 1 that's way too smart to be a Borderlands joke, man.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, on that identity game thing, too.

Speaker 1 I feel like I scrolled past the thread where someone was describing how the 3D trilogy of Mortal Kombat games were the best, and in it, all the reasons listed, not a single one of them was because of the multiplayer fighting gameplay.

Speaker 1 Okay, so, okay, you know what? You know what, Willie? You know what? I'm sorry, Did I.

Speaker 1 I'm actually going to go to bat for that post. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because the fighting gameplay is bad in every Mortal Kombat. Okay, okay, okay.
So when the subspace emissary was... So you are always, always judging them based off of their extras.

Speaker 1 Single-player content and extras. Okay, the subspace emissary was fucking sick.
Never mind tripping. Yep.
Got it. Got it.
Got it. My mistake.

Speaker 1 Let's take some emails.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I got to get out of here.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting doing this podcast, and Paige sent me a photo of the television with the computer's BIOS displayed with the phrase, hey, is this bad?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, my camera roll has a bunch of wet diapers.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that's my photo gallery now. And I asked her, how did you do that? And she said, I don't know.
And I'm like, okay. All right.

Speaker 1 How did she do it?

Speaker 1 I don't know how she does it. You can go solve that.

Speaker 1 You can go solve that. That's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so no, it's fine now.

Speaker 1 Have you got detailed 4K photos of

Speaker 1 diaper poop on your camera? No, no. No.
No. Why would I have that? Okay.
All right. No, I'm serious.
Why would I have that?

Speaker 1 Because sometimes you have to take the photo. Okay.
No, you know what? You know what I'll tell you? You know what I'll tell you?

Speaker 1 You want some passive-aggressive fucking marriage shit?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 sometimes I take a while to shit

Speaker 1 because sometimes you just got to take a while. Sure.
And Paige was like, man, you take so long to poop. What the fuck are you doing in there? Maybe you're faking it.

Speaker 1 And so I started taking pictures of my shits. Oh, geez.
So that the next time.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
No.

Speaker 1 I bet you weren't even shitting in there. No, that's not where I was going.
Check this out. That's not where I was going.
Okay.

Speaker 1 See, Pat, the problem is...

Speaker 1 Okay, we have to, there is a situation that occurs here, and it's happened once or twice before, and it happened a little bit earlier in this episode, is when I'm saying something that is a brand new thing that's happening that's for parental reasons, but a lot of people listening don't know what those things are because they're not in that situation.

Speaker 1 They have no idea why I would be talking about taking pictures of a diaper poop because that sounds completely batch and insane, not knowing that there are times where you have to show that to a pediatrician to ask questions about what you're looking at.

Speaker 1 Right, right. And so there are very good reasons to take a 4K photo.
Excuse my words. Sure, sure.
But there are colors, there are textures, there are things, etc. Yeah,

Speaker 1 kid poop is weird. And you get asked about it.
So that happens to be a thing sometimes. So I need you to do that.
Yes, sure, yes. I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 So that when they throw 85 question marks down the side,

Speaker 1 but I legit.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I actually had no idea.
She was back you up for a while. Fucking Christ.

Speaker 1 Our pediatrician and the nurses we talk to, they just ask us, like, just what colors are their poops, and we tell them. And exactly.
And that ended like a year and a half ago, right? Yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 All right. So, um, let's take some emails, y'all.
Yeah, if you want to send it to castlesuperbeastmail at gmail.com, that would be great. That's castle superbeastmail at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 1 let's see, we got one coming in here.

Speaker 1 Dear Chemical Safety Bureau, what's your favorite change to a game that the community demanded?

Speaker 1 In Phantom Brigade, you have the mecha squad that can see into the future on an Adobe Premiere timeline to plan your actions. Yep, game fucking rules.

Speaker 1 You originally couldn't drag said actions around said timeline once they'd been placed, so you instead had to delete them and place them again in a slightly different way every time you wanted the mech to do stuff.

Speaker 1 For repeated,

Speaker 1 fans repeatedly requested the change to click and drag so that the devs eventually caved and specifically noted it was because of a community-driven change from the patch notes. Good to know.

Speaker 1 That game is really fun. I want to come back to it.
Check it out.

Speaker 1 What are your favorite changes to a game that were based on community demand?

Speaker 1 My favorite changes that they've ever made to FF14 is every mod that you get banned for using somehow gets integrated into the game

Speaker 1 after a world first group uses it and gets caught. That's good.
That's good. I like that.
I like that.

Speaker 1 It's really funny how that keeps happening like over and over and over and over and over again.

Speaker 1 I like that Capcom has gotten bullied from taking an approach to talking about their games being like, after you do this move, your character is generally at an advantage.

Speaker 1 This is a tricky move to catch your opponents off guard to just being like, yeah, so Eleanor's got a DP and it's about plus eight.

Speaker 1 And just like, like, and the fact that frame data is in the game and it's there, like, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 If you want to use this, there's a description here. It might be intimidating.
Frame data and you, you can go read about it. But like, in the meantime, they're like, okay, people just want to know.

Speaker 1 We're here. We're at this place where you can't pretend anymore.
You know,

Speaker 1 they use the word okie at one point in reference to one of the new characters, I want to say, like, it's just like, yeah, this is the way people playing these games talk.

Speaker 1 And the more you pretend that there's a weird, like, we don't use any of this lingo version of the conversation, the stupider it is. Because meantime,

Speaker 1 every other genre that has like more in-depth nomenclature just has people at beginner levels using and learning what those words are and getting into it and describe discussing things in that way anyways, you know?

Speaker 1 People that are that are into FPSs, fucking MOBAs, all of that, they're learning about those words and using the same same lingo that people at top players are using. So, like, why pretend here?

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 just fucking give in. And they did.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 I'm going to say there's a complaint. There's a game I'm playing right now that features a community change.

Speaker 1 Kingdom Come Deliverance, the first one,

Speaker 1 had a save and quit feature, but you would usually use an item, like a consumable item to save the game.

Speaker 1 But hey, say you don't have any save your snaps you could save and quit

Speaker 1 that was a fucking temporary save That when you would fucking load it would delete itself. Oh a Hitman save

Speaker 1 and and that's fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 That's crazy and for the second game they have like no, it's like a real save game that save the game when you fucking exit the game interesting.

Speaker 1 I mean like I respect the hitman save system i get what they were going for you know they didn't want you to like um permutate your way into a perfect mission you know so they made it so like you have a save that is your overall level progression and then you have a a um yeah a save state that deletes upon loading you know and it's like okay fair Fair.

Speaker 1 Totally understand that. But that should not obviously apply

Speaker 1 in all cases and genres.

Speaker 1 Okay, and let's take one over here from Dull, who says, Good afternoon, canceled Woolly and Toxic Pat.

Speaker 1 Simple question. No preamble or anything.
Who's your favorite mascot character? Doesn't matter if it's a Scrimblo or a human, what genre or medium, what mascot speaks to your soul the most?

Speaker 1 I slammed my. In real life.

Speaker 1 I slammed my penis in the car door. Says dull.

Speaker 1 In real life,

Speaker 1 I probably got to give it to to Gritty. Gritty's good?

Speaker 1 Gritty's good. Embracing your heritage.

Speaker 1 Yep. Fucking.

Speaker 1 They leaned in. They leaned into Gritty.
That's really good.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give it up for Lappy for Master Chain.

Speaker 1 Lappy the dog. Really?

Speaker 1 Really? Lappy rules.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 quite relevant. Very important.
Fucking Bing Bong.

Speaker 1 Bing Bong's okay. Bing-bong respect.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna give a shout-out. I don't know if he's my favorite, but I have to give a shout-out to SMT1

Speaker 1 Jack Frost.

Speaker 1 Okay, that specific one.

Speaker 1 If you're such hot shit, why don't you crush this rock with your bare hands?

Speaker 1 Like, like, just absolute piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Asshole.

Speaker 1 I forget, then I don't know if I told you about it, but in Mother 3, you come across this ghost that says, Quick, you gotta go in the next room and kill this knight that's super powerful, that's hurting everybody.

Speaker 1 He's dangerous. If you have usable items, explosives, everything, go take him out now.

Speaker 1 And then you fight him, and it's just this knight with like a ghost, sword, and shield. And after you beat him, you come back out and he goes, Hey, yeah, sorry, I kind of lied.

Speaker 1 It's just everyone sort of hated that guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was Jack. Yeah, no, Jack rosted the pizza shit.
So I like him.

Speaker 1 People in the chat are saying Ono Michio, and that's a really good one

Speaker 1 with his charming, what is it, charming Hasaku pouch and his fish?

Speaker 1 Are you not? Oh, you wouldn't be familiar with Ono Michael. Yakuza?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a, he's the, he's the, didn't play six.

Speaker 1 He's the local docks, um, fucking

Speaker 1 uh mascot of like the fishermen in

Speaker 1 what town is it? Yokohama, I think.

Speaker 1 He's fucking cringe and shit.

Speaker 1 I love him. Important question for categorization posterity purposes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does Emile count as a mascot?

Speaker 1 I think Yoko Taro counts as the mascot. Thus, indirectly, the Emil head becomes a mascot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Does Yoko Taro's mask not make

Speaker 1 Emil the near mascot?

Speaker 1 In that case, then Emil. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 Is Missile the dog the Ace Attorney Team's mascot?

Speaker 1 Because he's in multiple games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the writer's real dog.

Speaker 1 Same thing for Ghost Trick. He had a real dog.
Yeah. Because Missile from Ghost Trick is the shit.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Although, Missile in Phoenix Wright is not the mascot as much as a regular dog. There's Blue Badger is a literal mascot, right? Fuck Blue Badger.

Speaker 1 Fuck him. I have another one.
I'm going to say 808 from HiFi Rush.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're good. I like them.

Speaker 1 808's pretty fucking sick. And indirectly talking shit because it's just a microphone that she's using, you know, as well to mock you.

Speaker 1 You know what? Yeah. You know who I actually really, really like as a mascot? I like Rathalos as the Monster Hunter mascot.
Oh, okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like, just really like Rathalos. I think he's a really great standard,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 Scrumbo Bimblo. So the Monster Hunter.

Speaker 1 It doesn't go to the

Speaker 1 fucking, whatchamacallits?

Speaker 1 The cats?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 stranger, you would think, stranger, you would actually think, yeah, nah,

Speaker 1 nah, I think it actually does go to Rathalos.

Speaker 1 Also, everyone who uh is calling him a dragon is a fucking dumbass.

Speaker 1 It's a Wyvern, guys.

Speaker 1 The Palicos are palicos are called Palicos, and yet somehow they are not the mascot.

Speaker 1 All right, that'll do.