#390 Erin Diehl: From Talk Show Dreams to a Business Built on Bombing — Part Two

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Hi, everyone.

Welcome to our show, Chief Change Officer.

I'm Vince Chen, your ambitious human host.

Our show is a modernist community for change progressives in organizational and human transformation from around the world.

Today's guest is Aaron Deal,

founder and CEO of Improve It,

a company that uses Infrov to help teams grow and thrive.

Like me, she's also a talk podcast host.

From a young age, Erin dreamed of becoming a talk show host.

Why did she choose that path?

And how did her journey lead her to combine improve and business

I told Erin you are in the business of joy

but beyond joy

we also talked about failure

Erin calls herself

a cell fluencer a blend of failure and influence.

This two-part series dives into her unique approach to joy,

failure,

growth, and learning.

No more waiting.

Let's get started.

I understand One of your key workshops focuses on failure

and you even coined the term fail fluencers,

a blend of failure and influencers.

I love to dive into this topic but from a personal perspective.

Could you share your own experiences with failure?

Not so much the workshops you facilitate or the lessons you teach, but your personal journey.

How you've dealt with, navigated, and grown from failure over time.

If you like, feel free to share specific stories and give us an overview of your journey with failure.

Either way works.

Yeah.

So this is actually a keynote that I do called F words at work.

And there's no swearing vents, okay?

There's no swearing.

Spoiler alert, the F words are all about failure plus the frequency of failure equals the fundamentals of success.

And truly, the reason I even created this is because I was living a crash course myself in failure.

I created this content in 2021 and it was coming off of the pandemic in 2020.

I'm sure.

You can remember.

I'm sure our listeners can remember where they were in March of 2020 because it was a global pandemic, right?

No matter where you were in the world, you were affected by COVID-19.

And so at that time, myself, I was going through a period of time, which I call the three Ps.

And I could also call them the three PUs because it was the stinkiest period of my life.

I had just delivered and had given birth to a miracle baby boy.

And when I say miracle vents, miracle, that was.

There was a lot of science involved, if you will.

I was, my husband and I went through many years of infertility.

We also had a shared genetic mutation.

And

it was a really long battle to conceive our son.

And he had just been born in July of 2019.

And so I came back to work in December of 2019.

And then had about two months of work when G-double hockey broke loose and as a business.

started to pivot and pivot.

So my first P was pivoting.

And we were pivoting so much.

I was legit

taking everything that we had done in person, this completely in person, completely face-to-face, completely human to human professional development company had to become completely virtual overnight in order to survive.

And so on top of being a new mom and figuring that out, I was perpetually pivoting our business, which led to my second P.

which is people pleasing, which

is a pattern I've had my whole life.

I grew up moving around a lot.

And so how I got people to like me was being a giver and a pleaser.

And I also use comedy as some of the mechanisms I use to please people.

I was the person that was the clown, right?

That walked in and made you laugh.

And in 2020, I really saw this pattern take over.

And I was.

At the time, giving to this newborn miracle, who was my son.

I was giving to my family and my mom, who was recovering from a stroke, by the way.

I was giving to my team who was fearful for their jobs.

I was giving to my peers who are small business owners, who were closing their doors, laying off their staff.

I was giving to my clients and helping them navigate these contracts that we had with them and figure out our next steps.

But I was truly giving and giving to everyone except myself,

which led to the third P,

which was pain.

And I'm not talking about, ouch, I stopped my toe type pain.

I'm talking about chronic pain, pain that lasted for two years, that was in my back and shoulders, that was undiagnosable by doctors, that was undiagnosable through x-rays and blood work, and chiropractors couldn't crack.

And this pain made me cry myself to sleep at night.

It was physical pain like I'd never endured before.

And it was pain that I later realized was due to these unprocessed emotions that I had been sitting with for years, from years of infertility, from the anger I had at the pandemic for taking away my identity and my business, pain from people pleasing and not even realizing that I was doing it.

And so I had to set off on a self-healing journey because this period of time, the three P's, was what I call my WTF.

story, my worst terrifying failure.

Again, I'm not swearing here, but that worst terrifying failure ultimately led me to my greatest success.

And I was able to heal myself

through

a lot of healing work, which I can get into, but I was able to do that without surgery, without medication, without doctors.

I was able to dissolve my pain.

I was able to come into a new line of sight for myself, which I call the three P's Robo Bremer.

And I ultimately went from pivoting people, pleasing, and pain to this life of purpose, which is helping people understand their own failures and how to move on from them.

I have a serious toll on my priorities.

I understand them.

I even have an organizational chart for my priorities now.

And I have the third P, a deep sense of peace.

And that is something.

that I've never had in 40 plus years of walking this earth.

But it was ultimately that three piece story that guided me to this place.

And that's what I'm here to teach people is that failure isn't the end.

It's not a door closed.

It's opening you up to something greater.

And

I sit here today and say this story without tears and without heartache because I've lived it and now I'm through it.

But when I was in that story, it was so hard and every day felt like an uphill battle.

And physical pain on top of mental pain is not something I would wish on anyone.

So I share that to say you can change.

There's such a thing as a mind-body connection, but you can also be the catalyst and the inspiration for other people, but you have to give to yourself first.

And ultimately that story guided me to write the book that I wrote and released in February of 2024.

And I can talk about that too, but it was that healing that allowed me to be in alignment to write that book to help other people live the life they were meant to.

I haven't read your book yet, but failure as a concept resonates deeply.

Just before this, I was interviewing another guest and we talked about transitions, not just career changes, but life-changing events.

In her case, two years ago, she survived a severe car accident that left her paralyzed.

She shared how she endured the physical and mental pain,

learned to walk again, rebuilt her coaching business, and even started a podcast within just two years.

Coincidentally, your experiences also highlight how resilience and failure intertwine.

I call this lifting human intelligence.

That is, the ability to reflect deeply on who we are and transform setbacks into meaningful insights.

And while these three words, like fail, learn, grow, may sound simple on the surface, developing that level of clarity through real experience is far from easy.

What stands out is not just the lesson itself, but the process of sustaining pain, making sense of it, and transforming it into a systematic approach others can understand and apply.

The pain itself is real and unfortunate,

but it often opens door to growth.

As I told my other guest,

failure, if managed well,

can become one of the greatest opportunities for transformation.

Would you agree?

Yes, I'm so with you.

And

I have a methodology that I use, and this is something I teach in my keynote.

I'm happy to share it with you that has really helped me, and it's helped me.

with that story and more what I call WTFs, worse terrifying failures that have come since then.

Can I share that with you, Bens?

Sure.

I think that's a great way to web things up.

I always discourage hard selling on this show,

but this isn't about that.

It's about sharing the lessons you've distilled from the real, sometimes painful, life experiences.

Lessons that listeners can take away and apply right now.

So as closing thought,

could you share a method or approach from your work that anyone can try?

Something practical, educational, not just inspirational, that could help listeners facing their own dilemmas, whether they are in career transition, dealing with personal challenges, or simply feeling stuck.

What's one step or exercise they could use to figure themselves out and take that first step forward?

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Yeah, yeah.

And I definitely want to point out: it's not a hard sell.

It is a tangible tool that I want to give you for free.

That is something that I've used with my human intelligence and life experience to get me through these failures.

And I think anybody listening and anyone going through any type of moment where they're beating themselves up, they don't know how to get through it.

They don't know how to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It's a tried and true method and it's called this.

You ready?

Move on.

Okay.

And it is an acronym, move on.

And I'm going to break it down because honestly, this method is so easy to remember because obviously you want to move on, but the M in the move on stands for marinate.

So when you think about your worst terrifying failure, actually, Vince, I'm going to have you do this with me.

So I just want you to close your eyes for just a moment.

And everybody listening, just close your eyes.

And I want you to think about your worst terrifying failure, your worst fall on your face flop, that story that comes up when you think about failure, when you hear the word failure.

And it could be one circumstance or a series of circumstances, like my three P's story.

It could be something where you were at home or at school or at work.

And I want you to think about who you were with and where you were when this happened.

Okay, got it.

And then what we're going to do is we're going to apply this story to this move on methodology.

Okay.

So take this story now called your WTF story, your worst terrifying failure, and let's start with the M.

So the M is marinate.

And so whatever this failure that comes up for you is,

you've got to take the time to sit with it.

Marinating is not like a steak.

It doesn't happen overnight.

you're probably going to need days weeks maybe even months to process so sit with it with whatever way you feel comfortable whether it's just going on a walk with no music or sitting in a meditation or journaling but really allow yourself space to feel

and process that failure

And then you move to the O of move on, which is own it.

And it doesn't mean that you give full responsibility to anybody else or to yourself you're just acknowledging that you were a part of this and you are forgiving yourself for those negative thoughts that you've been thinking because here's a really fun fact for you the average human thinks between 50 to 80 000 thoughts a day Of those 50 to 80,000, this is from a study from the National Science Foundation.

Of those 50 to 80,000 thoughts, we form what are called thought worms.

We form 6,200 thought worms.

And of those 6,200 thought worms, what percentage of those would you think are negative?

What do you think percentage-wise of 6,200 thoughts?

What percentage of those thoughts do you think are negative?

I would say definitely over 50.

So should be between 80 to 90 percent.

Yeah, it's 80 percent, which is so good.

Yeah, it's 80

And then what's worse is that we are repeating those same negative thoughts 95% of the time.

So the O is so important because you have to own it and then you have to forgive yourself because you're a human being.

We all do it.

It's part of the human experience.

And then the V, you're going to verify the lessons that you learned.

What are the two to three things?

that you're going to take with you from this experience.

How are you going to get through that experience?

What are the things that you won't do in the future?

And the E is evaluate the next steps.

So you're going to put together an action plan.

It could be two steps.

It could be three steps.

It could be one step.

But whatever that action plan is.

And then the O is the, so it's sitting in the again and marinating on what you just processed, the things that you're going to take away, the action steps you're going to put into motion, because the N is the next failure.

there will be another one and that this time you've got another tool in your toolkit to help you move on from it and you've also got the the we're all and the know-all to see that this is part of life and when you allow failure to happen for you not to you you can bring it into the scene of your life and

we say this in improv there's no mistakes only gifts you can start to look at failure as opportunity and opportunity for innovation and change is a good thing which you're listening to this show you believe in change so that's remove on a methodology and i hope whatever failure was in your mind vince it helped you work through that and i hope whoever all of our listeners today whatever that failure story was that wtf you were able to apply that and write it down and think about how you can come back to it

I can tell you exactly why I connected with that question because I experienced it myself.

Honestly, I think 80 to 90% of my thoughts on any given day being negative.

It's just the way our minds work sometimes, especially when uncertainty is evolved.

When we think about future, we tend to naturally default to worst case scenarios, even when, more often than not,

things turn out far less catastrophic than we imagined.

Yet, those negative thoughts can feel overwhelming, very loud, disruptive, and hard to ignore.

Personally, I have to deal with that noise every single day.

I hear it, but I remind myself to focus.

to move forward despite the chattered.

That's why I really value your advice.

It's practical and it's something I know I can apply right away to keep that noise in check.

Love it.

Yeah.

And know you're not alone in those thoughts.

I do it too.

I've caught myself many times today.

Just know you're not alone.

I think I do have a gift for your audience if you're open to that.

It's an affirmations list.

It gives you a literally a list of 50 affirmations that you can use.

And they're not cheesy.

They're really good affirmations that you can use to pull yourself out of a funk.

So I'd be happy to send it to you.

The second thing is, I just want to say this.

If today made you laugh, it made you smile, it gave you food for thought, and it gave you a positive piece of energy.

My only ask is that you pay it forward to somebody else today.

We need more laughter, more levity, more positivity in this world.

And so my goal is joy, Ben, which you led me to.

My goal is joy.

And the greater we feel, the more we attract into our life.

And my goal every single day is to feel good.

And if I don't feel good, I can't make you feel good.

So make yourself feel good today and then pass that joy on.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I released two episodes with a guest who wrote a book called Generosity Wins.

He's a seasoned CEO who talks about how actions and mindset of generosity not only enrich others, but also create greater success in life and career.

One powerful idea he shared was how a single generous action creates a ripple effect.

encouraging others to replicate it and in turn, making the world a little better.

Of course, we can't measure the full impact.

There's no way to track every ripple.

But the concept is the same as what you were saying.

When we experience joy or positivity in our lives,

we have the chance to pass it on.

In his example, even something as simple as a smile can spark change.

Smiling at a stranger, a colleague, or a friend might seem trivial,

but it can create a moment of positivity that ripples outward.

It's a reminder that small actions often have the biggest impact.

Yeah, I'm here for it.

I love that.

A smile goes a long way.

You never know who has not had a smile today.

So even that simple act of kindness can really pay it forward.

And I'm here for your guest.

I love that guest and I love that you're spreading it too, Vince.

So thank you so much for the opportunity to talk with you.

Thank you so much for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, don't forget, subscribe to our show.

Leave us top-rated reviews, check out our website, and follow me on social media.

I'm Vin Chen, your ambitious human host.

Until next time, take care.