Confidence Classic: How to Face Your Worst Fear and Still Say YES with Heather Monahan

Stepping into the unknown, stepping into the unfamiliar, going into fear, going for more.

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Hi, and welcome back.

I'm so glad you're back with me today.

Okay, this is complete insanity.

I'm gonna share a personal story, a very, very personal story with you today about what's been happening in my life this week, which is not good.

However, we are dealing with it.

And one of the things I noticed, I had a super stressful week, really a lot of anxiety, stress, because it has to do with my son.

And I'll tell you, in those moments when your life just feels like everything is going wrong, you're in shock, you're upset, and people send you emails saying, hey, why haven't you got back to me on this or that?

Or a text saying, hey, I haven't heard back from you on this.

The message I want to share today is this, that you never know what someone else could be going through.

So try to lead with kindness.

Anytime you reach out to people, and I'm going to remind myself of this too, instead of just sending curt emails, because you just don't know what shoe could have dropped in that person's life.

And if you're not hearing back from someone, you never know.

It could be something really hard.

So this week, as I had mentioned, my son is away at camp and it's academic camp, not some fun camp.

He's not loving life.

But on Wednesday, I got a phone call and it was the school nurse and he was in the emergency room and he didn't have his phone and they think his arm's broken and they had no one I could call to speak to him.

I didn't know who he was with.

It was such an awful situation knowing that my son is completely on the other side of the country away from me.

I can't get to him.

It was dark.

It was at night.

I don't know who has him and there's no phone to reach him.

So to say the next few hours were bad would be an understatement.

It was, you know, I went on a downward spiral.

I was able to get a hold of the emergency room doctor who told me that his arm was broken, but that he was taking good care of him and that he would be okay.

But I still hadn't been able to speak to my son.

And of course, like any mother, I went crazy and was calling the camp 900 times, emailing 900 times, demanding someone give him his phone so he can speak to me.

Anyways, hours later,

it seemed like a lifetime later, but it was a couple of hours, he got back to camp and they put him on the phone with me just to say hello for a moment before he had to go to bed.

He was obviously very upset.

And, you know, the next morning when I spoke to him, it was just heartbreaking listening to how scary it is for a kid to be alone somewhere, not have a phone, not have people that you know there to help you to take you to an emergency room.

I'm 47 and I don't want to go to an emergency room with someone I don't know, right?

You want people who love you, who support you, and encourage you around you.

And it was just, it was really sad.

However, I will say my son handled it better than I did.

I definitely, gosh, I just never expected anything like this to happen.

I never expected his health to be in jeopardy.

I never expected him to have to go to an emergency room and need medical attention.

It was just, it was an awful feeling of everything out of your control and someone that it's it's your job to care for and keep safe and you can't help them it was really hard and my son handled it incredibly well that next day and said you know it's not ideal and it really hurts and my arm's swollen and he has to go get a cast later this week he said but you know I'm gonna I'm gonna be okay.

He said, oh, I'll remember when I broke my leg, mom.

I wonder which one's going to be worse.

He said, I think the broken leg I had the cast on a lot longer than I'll have the cast on for this one.

So he was trying to see the positives in it, which was a miracle because I couldn't even see straight for the first 24 hours.

And then the next day, he had a really bad day.

And luckily, I was starting to feel a little better.

And so I was able to talk him off the ledge.

But it's so important, you know, 24 hours can change so much in your life.

It's insane.

And the things that mattered, you know, a week before just don't seem to matter anymore.

or the way that you're feeling is so incredibly different.

And to see how my son changed changed so much overnight, he had a bad night's sleep, of course, with the arm in a sling.

It's not cast yet.

And he's in so much pain and the swelling has not gone down.

And for some reason, the pain was just a lot worse.

So hearing how his actual physical circumstances hadn't changed, but his mindset changed incredibly and he was really down.

And so I tried to focus on the things that I do when things are going wrong, which is number one, this is temporary, right?

We all know that this is temporary.

It is not going to stay this way.

This, this too shall pass.

This will change.

Your arm will heal.

You will get out of that camp.

You will see me, right?

Things are going to get better.

You're not alone.

And then I always try to focus on what are we looking forward to.

So, you know, looking forward to almost done with camp now, looking forward to the day that you get the cast.

on because you'll feel better and then off because it'll be healed and you know so excited for you to come home and you know let's do a countdown anything to focus on where it is we're going and where we want to be instead of really staying mired and where we don't like where we currently are.

That has been very helpful to me.

And he wasn't really buying it that much this morning because he was having a really tough time.

But luckily, I got to speak to him again later in the day and his whole demeanor had changed.

He had had a good talk with a friend of his and his friend was helping him carry his bags and one of his teachers was really nice to him today, and he just sounded so uplifted.

It just, it just really reminds me that our mindset and our attitude towards everything is what we're always in charge of.

And I certainly did not do a good job this week with mine.

I did a horrible job because I completely lost it and acted like a lunatic, but we are all a work in progress.

So, what I wanted to do today, because I am so crazy for my son and so worried about my son right now, is in my first book, Confidence Creator, I wrote a chapter about my son and actually something my son taught me that's really powerful.

So I want to read it to you today.

Okay, it's chapter one, Confidence Creator.

Remind yourself.

Mom, can you write on my shoes?

That's what my nine-year-old son Dylan asked me at 6.30 in the morning before school.

I was rushing around the kitchen trying to make breakfast and get his bagpack before we had to fly out the door and he's asking me to write on his shoes.

What?

Hurry up.

We're going to be late.

I saw that he was holding out one of his basketball sneakers and a sharpie.

I knew he had a game that night, but still had no idea what he was talking about.

What am I writing?

I want you to write, you can do all things on the bottom of my shoe.

I think he saw the blank look on my face, so he explained, Mom, no matter how good you are and no matter how talented you are, every once in a while, you need to remind yourself when you're in a tough spot, you have to remember who you are.

You can't feel confident every minute of every day.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

How brilliant was this?

I wrote out the phrase for him in marker on the bottom of his shoes and handed it back to him.

He ran off and finished packing his bag while I watched him in stunned silence.

I couldn't get over what had just happened.

My son taught me the importance of reminders.

I literally cried.

I was 41 and still struggling with confidence.

It took me years to learn how to believe in myself.

He was nine, but he was already capable of creating a confident safety net that he could turn to for support when he needed it.

At the time, I was a CRO for a radio company.

Because of my job and my role in various charities, I was often required to speak in front of large groups of people at functions.

But it wasn't always easy for me.

I would feel nervous before I had to take the podium.

I'd look out over a sea of faces who were all staring at me, and I would feel doubt creeping.

I would question myself.

That's not a comfortable position to be in.

Deep down, I knew that I was capable, but there were times I found it difficult to calm my confidence.

Dylan was right.

We need to support ourselves during challenging moments.

So after that talk with my son, I took a page from his playbook.

I started to write little reminders on my shoes whenever I found myself nervous about a big speech or attending a big meeting.

One month later, I was asked to speak at a charity luncheon for an organization called City Year Miami.

They meant our inner city youth to give them the direction they need to get through school without dropping out.

Many of those kids didn't have a support system.

Many were impoverished and living in very dark places.

They were just trying to get by.

It wasn't easy to have confidence and trust in yourself when growing up in that environment.

So one thing I wanted to stress in my speech was that those kids could learn confidence.

Confidence is a skill that can be learned and not one they had to be born with.

What better way to prove that than by using myself as an example?

At the end of my speech, I told that story about my son and the message he wanted me to write on his basketball shoe.

I brought the actual shoe up with me to the podium.

I even showed everyone the message that I had wrote on the bottom of my heels that morning.

The very next day, I was sitting at my desk at work when I opened up my email and saw that my mailbox was filled with messages from my friends and coworkers who attended the luncheon.

They had all sent me pictures of the notes they wrote on the soles of their shoes.

I love me.

I deserve better.

I can do this.

I am not alone.

The messages went on and on.

The ladies really got into it.

Today I rate myself reminders on my computer, in my iPhone.

I hide some in my clothes and around my house.

I even have a picture frame that says, hello, gorgeous.

I sometimes forget where I put them.

So when I come across one, it will always bring a smile to my face.

More importantly, those reminders have a lasting impact.

We all need people who pick us up when we're down, but sometimes it's a job that we can do ourselves.

Playing a role in our own rescue is the ultimate key.

Sometimes it's as simple as having access to reminders.

If you ever see me at an event, you can bet that I'll have a supportive message on the bottom of my heels.

And that just reminds me that I need to send my son a text and remind him that he can do all things and he can get through this.

Hang tight.

We'll be right back.

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Confidence creator.

I asked you to try to find your passion.

It's been, oh my gosh, it's been almost two years now.

I've been working on from the book proposal to the book to the edits to everything with Overcome Your Villains.

Crazy enough, today was the first day that my publisher mailed me a paperback version of my new book.

And it was, it's so weird because even though it feels like it's so long, the process is so long and painful, right?

And it does take a lot of time.

And you have to be patient.

And I'm not patient.

I don't know about you.

Patience is not my virtue.

And seeing it today was so exciting.

But then it's interesting because anytime you create something, people will come and criticize, right?

It's always easier to criticize than it is to create because creating things takes a lot of work and a lot of time and a lot of risk, right?

Because you're doing something you've never done before.

You know, this book is not like anything I've ever done before.

It's not like my first book.

I mean, there's some similarities, but it's not the same, right?

You're doing something new, something different.

And anytime you do something new and create, you're taking a risk and a chance.

And so suddenly for me, all those feelings come up again of, oh my gosh, it's so scary to launch a book.

Oh my gosh, it's so scary, you know, to step into something new.

What are people going to think?

Right.

All these negative possibilities rush into your head and, you know, good positive ones too, right?

I think the book looks amazing.

And when I held it, I, I feel so emotional because it represents so much to me and I'm so proud of it.

So there's all these great and scary positive and negatives going through my head.

And it's, you know, it's, it can be overwhelming, but I am super excited.

I'm super proud of it.

And it looks amazing.

So, one of a friend of mine who has a pretty big podcast, I'd asked her if I could be on her show.

And she said, hey, send me a copy of the book.

And so, what my publisher does is they send people that have big shows a digital copy of my book so they can read it, but they don't want to send out, you know, the actual paper or hardcover yet because the actual final version isn't done yet.

And so, she said, listen, I can't read digital.

It just doesn't work for me.

I have to have a paper version.

So her show is big enough that when I told HarperCon's leadership that, they said, okay, we'll get her an advanced paperback copy.

And they sent it to her too this week.

And she just got it.

And she sent me a note and said, holy cow, Heather, this book is fire.

The cover is fire.

I love it.

And it made me feel so excited because, first of all, you don't know sometimes if anyone's even going to respond or say anything.

You know, people are busy and there's so much going on in the world, but it does mean so much when people take a minute to give you feedback and encouragement.

And this woman has a super successful book.

So it meant a lot to me that, you know, she offered that feedback.

And if you have something nice to say to someone in your life or someone you work with, extend it, right?

Give it to them.

Give them that gift because you never know what stress someone has going on in their life.

life or what they're dealing with, you know, in their personal life or professional life that it could really help out.

And for me, you know, in this moment where I'm starting to get nervous about the new book coming out and of course doubting some things, it just meant a lot to have her encouragement and sort of somewhat validation, right?

That I really liked it and thought it looked great.

But you never know what the rest of the world is going to think, right?

You just never know.

So I'm all about, yeah, you know, stepping into fear, taking the risk and going for it.

But as I'm about to go to this next level and take this new risk on, I'm I'm remembering how scary it is.

And let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart.

Okay, so that was exciting that that happened this week.

I was super excited about that.

But of course, like in any week, you know, there are positive things that happen, negative things that happen, challenges that come up that are unexpected, as well as positive things that are unexpected.

And I wanted to give you the analogy.

I go to spin all the time.

And imagine if you were to go to your spin class and it was the exact same playlist and exact same routine every single time you went.

How long would you keep going?

Right?

If everything was predictable about it and scheduled ahead of time and you knew exactly what it was, it wouldn't be that much fun.

And I started thinking about that to myself in spin.

I definitely get my best ideas when I'm working out.

And I was thinking, It's kind of ironic that what I love most about going to spin is that I don't know what the playlist is going to be like.

I don't know what the instructor is going to do next.

I don't have any control over it.

So it's really out of my control and it seems super exciting.

And of course, there are amazing classes where, you know, your favorite playlist and everything went unbelievable.

And then some days you're like, oh, you know, that was an okay class or whatever.

But I still like that I don't know what to anticipate.

Okay, pause there for a minute, grasping that.

I would imagine you agree with me.

You feel the same way, right?

You wouldn't go to the same workout if it was just mundane and the same exact thing over and over again.

However, in our lives, definitely in my life, I'll find myself, and I was doing it this week, you know, I just wish I knew what was coming next.

I just wish I knew.

And part of this comes from, I think I shared this with you last week, that for me, in 2020, I remember saying, okay, this is temporary.

You know, live events are going to be back.

I'm sure by Q4, 2021, all the live events will be back.

Business will be booming, just like the Roaring 20s.

You know, I had created this false idea of what I wanted to happen.

Apparently, that did not happen.

And, you know, little did I know that there would be the Delta variant and all whatever else happening.

So I had shared that, you know, almost all of my in-person speaking engagements were canceled.

And I was so disappointed.

And it really felt out of control, right?

That, wait a minute, everything's spinning out of control.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I didn't think it would be this way.

I didn't plan on it being this way.

And I was having to remind myself that I love spin class because I don't know what to plan for.

I don't know what to expect.

And it's exciting that it's unknown and great that it's unknown.

And I have to try and challenge myself to see life and business that same way.

And it's definitely

doesn't come natural to me right now, right?

And it's sort of interesting because when I was in corporate America, I always thought it was, everything was so clear and laid out in front of me and I knew what to expect and I knew the process and I knew the timelines and I knew who to call.

And then when I went out on my own after I got fired, it's been confusing and unknown and stepping into fear and darkness and not knowing what's going to happen next.

And it definitely feels at times like everything's out of control, which can seem super overwhelming.

I'm sure you can.

you know, identify with that a little bit somehow in your life that things feel out of control or uncertain and that can feel really uncomfortable.

So to that end, this is what I wanted to share with you is that, and I was reminded about this two weeks ago.

So, okay, let me take a step back.

A couple of weeks ago, I was tagged in a post on LinkedIn and the post was so good.

It was basically

the same post that I put up the day after I got fired, right?

Which was, after 14 years, I have just been fired.

If I've ever helped you in any sort of way, I'd love to hear from you today.

This really hurts or this is really hard, something like that.

And that post went viral.

And at a lot of my keynote speeches, I share that whole story for a few different reasons.

There's things that I think are important to learn from that.

One, step into shame.

When you shine a light on shame, it dissipates and disappears.

And then you claim the shame, right?

So people might tell you that getting fired is not a good look.

I decided to make it rock my look.

Oh, yeah, Oprah's been fired.

J.K.

Rowling's been fired.

Steve Jobs has been fired.

I'm in good company, right?

Reframe.

So that's that's all about the reframe and stepping into shame and claiming your shame and not letting it claim you, which I believe is really powerful.

And then of course, asking for help.

When you put a post up like that, you're making yourself vulnerable and letting people know you need assistance, right?

You don't have all the answers.

And if anyone out there has some or would like to, you know, help you in some way, you'd really appreciate it.

So I believe that strong people ask for help.

I incorporate that in some of my keynotes, not all, but in some of them.

Well, wouldn't you know a woman that attended a virtual keynote I did for the ASA this past year ends up getting fired.

And after thinking about it for a couple of weeks and having nothing going on, crickets, she did not know what she was going to do.

No one was reaching out to her with options, right?

Because nobody knew she was struggling.

She finally decided, I remember this keynote this woman Heather Monaghan gave and how that post changed her life.

I've got to do something to change mine because she wasn't hearing from anyone.

She didn't know what to do.

So she put the post up.

And so that post for her did really, really well.

She tagged me in the post, so I was able to comment on it.

And I also supported her and told her in a DM, hey, I'm going to add you to my Friday.

I have a team meeting every Friday.

I'm going to add you to that group because it's going to support you and help you.

Also, I'm going to send you a bunch of different things, basically, you know, an outline or game plan how to get through being terminated and how to bounce back quick.

And so I sent her all this stuff and wanted to support her and help her.

But the funny thing was, she messaged me and said, Heather, you're not gonna believe it.

That post has opened up countless opportunities.

I have job offers now.

But she said, I have so many things going on right now that in 24 hours, my entire life has changed and my perspective has changed.

I feel excited and happy where 24 hours ago, I was really feeling depressed.

And so it just reminded me that There's so much to be hopeful for.

Yes, we need to take action and we need to take massive action and put ourselves out out there and take chances.

But at the same time, we don't know what's going to happen next, right?

So she didn't know if she put that post up, if it would be embarrassing for her or painful for her, but she did know she didn't like the position.

that she was in.

She didn't like that no one was reaching out to help her.

So she had to do something different to start herself down a different path.

And now she's far down that other path and things are going so much better for her.

And I'm so excited for her.

And she's super hopeful and optimistic.

And she's going to land somewhere much better than where she was.

And she also shared that she realized she had a villain at that old place of work.

So make a long story longer, I'm sharing this because I want you to be hopeful that no matter where things are today for you, there is an unknown ahead of you, which is really exciting.

And I'm constantly reminding myself of this.

Okay, so here's what happened to me this week that I had no idea.

was going to happen.

So I'm always creating a ton of content on LinkedIn.

And the majority of my speaking business opportunities come directly through LinkedIn or to my website.

And sometimes I get so many DMs and messages, I don't stay on top of them all.

There's so many, it can be overwhelming.

However, I challenge myself in my free time to go back and try to make sure I didn't miss anything important, of course, right?

Because listen, we can all miss things and not respond to an email or a DM and miss an opportunity, which we don't want to do.

So it was one night I was going back through my messages and I see some guy from London had sent me a message saying, hey, would love to speak to you about the largest CEO

event of the year.

We'd love to have you as one of our keynote speakers.

And so again, I never know on social media, just I'm sure you're the same, what's what, like who's real, who's not.

what's a valid opportunity.

But I always, you know, try to respond and dig a little deeper.

So I respond and I said, yeah, send me the link to the event so I can check it out first to make sure this is worthwhile.

Oh, it was.

Hello.

This thing is unbelievable, right?

And so I was kind of shaking thinking, oh my gosh, this is amazing.

This will be, without a doubt, the biggest event for me of the year.

This is a huge opportunity because it's happening right when my new book is coming out, right?

So there's so many dominoes that can fall from this, right?

There's so many businesses that are going to be in the crowd that could then hire me.

There's so many businesses that could then go go order my book for all their employees.

There's so much opportunity there.

So I immediately, once I understand the magnitude of the opportunity, I reply back, I would love to jump on a Zoom.

I would love to learn more.

I'm definitely interested in having this conversation.

So this person sets up a Zoom for me on Labor Day with the president of the event.

And so I go to this Zoom meeting.

It goes great.

You know, he had a bunch of questions and around, you know, different topics I can cover and talking about the existing lineup, talking about the audience and his goals.

And in the end, he offers me, you know, the keynote.

And I'm sitting there the whole time thinking to myself, okay, this is obviously a virtual event, right?

And I've been complaining ad nauseum that I'm so sick of virtual events.

I mean, I'm grateful that we have something when we can't have in person, of course.

So I don't mean to diminish that.

However, I do love being with people and I love in person, right?

So I've been kind of saying, oh, gosh, I can't wait to the day that we're back in person.

And then here I am, just assuming, of course, because all of my events primarily have been Zoom other than two in-person events in Florida.

So I'm waiting.

And he says, yes.

And this is, you know, in person in Europe.

And that's when I thought, oh, geez.

And it was so funny.

It's one of those moments that you think.

wait a minute this is all i've been begging for and waiting for right is a huge massive opportunity to go to the next level to i'll be the most junior speaker there, right?

Everybody else is light years ahead of me.

I mean, massively.

When you see this lineup, you're going to freak out.

It's so unbelievable.

It's exactly the kind of launch pad I need to really explode my business, which is what I've been waiting for, right?

I've been praying for this kind of an opportunity, but now I'm sitting there to myself thinking, okay, I'm going to need to leave my son with this, you know, threat of COVID with schools and hoping that he would still be able to go in person.

I'll have to find someone to stay and take care of him.

I'll have to take a 14-hour flight with a mask on, right?

Just I'm thinking of, I don't never been to this country before.

I'll be traveling alone, right?

I'm thinking of all these crazy things that in the past I never would have even worried about in my mind.

Of course I said yes, just FYI.

Of course I said yes.

But in my mind, these are all the things I'm going through, which is how am I going to navigate this?

How am I going to make this work?

Is this safe?

Right.

And I did ask him that.

I said, because you're in another country, I don't know what it's like there.

What are the protocols, right?

And, you know, so that was one element.

I have to take a test before I can go into the country.

I have to take a test before I can come back to our country.

There's all these complexities around testing and some things I just haven't had to deal with because I haven't left the country since the pandemic hit.

And so, again, when you don't know, it can seem a little scary or a little overwhelming, but it's just funny that here is the opportunity I couldn't have dreamt up anything better, right?

It's unbelievable.

Everything that I have been hoping to step into, here it is.

And now I'm feeling so overwhelmed and scared by it.

And so I decided today, I just decided, okay, I'm going to post about this on social media and just see what people's feedback is like.

And I'm so glad I did because.

overwhelming, I would say 95% of the people responded, get on that plane and go.

Find a way to make everything work and happen.

This is exactly what you want.

Your message needs to be heard, right?

I got this tremendous encouragement from basically everyone saying to go and figure it out along the way.

And, you know, this is all about stepping into the unknown, stepping into fear.

It's just a different one, right?

It's something that I hadn't planned for or hadn't expected.

And here it is yet again.

And it was funny.

Somebody sent a picture of a little puppy.

on the side of a couch looking over the edge, right?

Like, should the puppy jump or not?

And the man put something like, the the puppy looks really curious as to what's on the other side do you think the puppy will jump well of course the puppy's gonna jump right the puppy's gonna wanna know and I just realized that was an analogy for me that here I am sitting at home safe and painfully bored in my apartment wanting to make that leap, wanting to make that jump, wanting so badly to take that stage, wanting so bad to be in person, wanting that connection, right?

Wanting to go for it, wanting to step into more and go for more.

And here I am being like the puppy sitting there and hesitating for a minute.

And I was super grateful for that encouragement and feedback.

And again, I am vaccinated.

And of course I will wear a mask.

And of course I will be cautious as that's really important to me to stay healthy.

But it's just, again, another reminder that stepping into the fear, stepping into the unknown, stepping into the uncertainty is the answer.

And I constantly talk about this, but I talk about it because I need to be reminded of it and it was just so obvious today and I'm so grateful for all the people that encouraged me and reminded me what was important that my message needs to be heard and that this is what I've been longing for and missing is the in-person events and this is the ideal venue and right there's all these stars are lining up and and that's when you need to go even though it might seem scary so you might have something scary or intimidating going on right now and I want to remind you that that answer answer is always about stepping into the unknown, stepping into unfamiliar, going into fear, going for more.

That's how we grow, right?

That's the growth phase.

That's the opportunity to get better, to push ourselves beyond where we've already been.

And that's what life's really all about.

So if success was easy, everybody would have it, right?

If headlining this conference was easy, everyone would have that opportunity.

So there's going to be some roadblocks and obstacles along the way that make it a little more challenging.

That's life.

That's part of the process.

And there's still this huge opportunity, you know, that's ahead of me that I'm super excited for.

I can't wait for.

And again, I appreciate all the positive feedback I got on social media, which really reminded me that my answer is always going to be: step into fear, step into the unknown, and just go for it.

Go for more.

You meet a different guest each week.

All right, now let's move on to 2018 versus 2021.

Okay, here's why I'm talking about 2018 versus now.

2018 is the year I wrote and self-published my first book, Confidence Creator.

And since I did the podcast episode, I think it was a week ago, maybe it was two weeks ago now, where I read to you from my new book, Overcome Your Villains.

I've received so many messages asking me if people need to read my first book, Conference Creator, in order to read the new book, Overcome Your Villains.

And ironically, one of my dearest friends sent me a note.

She read the advanced copy of my new book, and she offered feedback on comparing the two books and what her thoughts were: if people should read both books first.

And then a new friend of mine that I just met this year, he had me on his show and he wanted to read both of my books so that he was ready, you know, to dive into questions around both books.

And he made a really interesting observation that made me appreciate how much work I've put in over the last three years.

And I want you to reflect on your life over the last three years, right?

So he said something to the effect of, he said, Heather, your voice is so much stronger now.

And I said, well, what do you mean by that?

He said, literally and figuratively, he said, you really own your words in a different way that you didn't back in 2018.

And I started laughing.

And he said, why, why do you laugh?

And I said, well, I was scared.

In 2018, guys, don't forget, I had just been fired.

I had no idea what I was doing.

I didn't know even if the book would get published.

I didn't even know how to self-publish, right?

I had no idea.

Here I am, you know, three years later.

I work now with HarperCollins leadership.

You know, I'm part of a huge team of people that are helping to improve and monetize my book.

And it's so incredibly different.

So that's one piece that I actually have some experience.

Not a lot.

I wrote one book, right?

This is my second, but at least it's something, right?

And then hearing from him that he could recognize that, you know, I opened up to him and shared.

I said, listen, not only was I scared, not only did I not know what I was doing, I also thought I was going to get sued.

I know that anyone can sue anyone for anything and that's just part of life, but I truly was scared.

I really didn't know if once I launched this book, was the company that I used to work for, were they going to come after me?

And it's just, it's so bizarre.

Nothing, they never did, right?

It never happened.

All these fears that we make up in our mind, they weren't real.

And it's so crazy because I was on the phone with one of my attorneys from HarperCollins Leadership.

He just went back and read my first book.

And he said, wow, he said, they never did anything to attempt to sue you, huh?

And I said, no, they didn't.

And I said, and I feel so much stronger now because of that, right?

I mean, everything I spoke to was a truth.

It's not, I didn't make any of it up.

I'm sure they don't love that I told, you know, a number of stories of what happened during my time there, but it's all true.

And so, you know, my attorney said to me, do you know that they missed the window?

And I said, no, what does that mean?

And he explained to me that when you launch a book or give a TED talk or anything like that, if somebody wants to sue you, there's a limited window that you actually can take action and do so in.

And he said that window just expired.

So it was kind of funny.

You know, I had all these fears around my first book much more intensely than, you know, I'm still nervous about my new book.

Of course, it's so important to me.

I worked so hard on it.

I want it to do great, but it's not, it's not the same as the first time, right?

I was so scared.

So to my new friend's point, yeah, I am way stronger now.

Yeah, my voice is so much stronger and more powerful.

And as a result, my new book is different in many ways than my first book because of that strength, because of the little bit of knowledge that I have now.

I came in so much hotter and stronger on this new book.

It doesn't mean that my first book isn't good.

And I'm actually gonna read you a chapter or two from my first book because I feel bad that I shared a little bit of the new one with you.

I've gotta share a little bit of the first one because they're both great.

I love them dearly.

It's sort of like kids.

You know, they always say, how do you pick one?

I love both of these books, but to me, they're very different because I was in such a different place in my life.

And even looking at the cover, the cover of my first book is completely black, right?

And it says confidence creator in white and red.

My new book is completely white.

And it says overcome your villains in blue and red.

And so it just, to me, that says a lot because I was kind of hiding in the darkness when I.

launched that first book.

I mean, I put a lot into it, right?

It's a compilation of my lowest moments and how I leverage them to create confidence in my life and how the reader can too.

But I really didn't go as far in as I could have because I was too scared.

But you're going to see in the new one, I did.

So that gave me that opportunity for, you know, kind of as a writer, as an author.

as someone creating to go bigger and do more.

And now I feel it's possible because I had that first experience, because that first book did do well, because I didn't get sued, right?

All these things just showed me that I can go bigger, I can't go for more.

And then of course, now that I have a big team of people that I work with at HarperCollins, you feel even more safe, right?

Even more supported and even more willing to go bigger and go for more.

Okay, enough about that.

I mentioned that one of my best friends read, she's read both books now, and she offered to compare them a little bit.

And again, for me, it just really reminds me of where I was at in 2018, three years ago, versus where I'm at in 2021.

And again, I have not made it, right?

I am not expert status sitting around vacationing, you know, counting my millions of dollars.

We are not there yet, people.

We are on our way, but we are not there yet.

But what I realize is having this moment to reflect on where I was in 2018 versus where I am now, gosh, I've grown so much.

I'm in such a different place mentally and I can see where I'm going.

I couldn't see that back in 2018.

So take a moment to look back, where were you in 2018 versus today?

How far have you come?

And if you haven't started stepping into that fear, today is the day to do it.

Because I promise you, if I have the ability to do it, you do too.

Was it scary?

Yes.

Is it still scary?

Absolutely.

But I know that I continue to grow the more I step into fear.

So start stepping with me.

You are not alone.

Okay.

Here's the review from my very, very good friend Sam.

Disclaimer, I know the author personally.

Now, just FYI, this is a review of Overcome Your Villains.

She got an advanced copy.

This is on NetGalley.

I know the author personally, and I'm a huge fan.

That being said, this is an unbiased review.

I was simply blown away by this book.

From start to finish, she was so open and honest and spoke about some things that I know were extremely hard for her to share.

That's an understatement.

But in doing that, she made herself vulnerable and relatable on so many levels.

In addition to opening up personally and sharing so many stories, which really shaped the book, integrating the back concept and giving tangible examples on how to use them, this book was extremely useful for everyday use.

The key takeaways at the end of every chapter are super helpful so that the reader can go back again and again to remind themselves how they can implement the strategies in their life.

One thing that really stuck out for me was the concept of neutral thinking.

So many times we hear stay positive over and over.

I am guilty of saying this frequently, but sometimes you just have to keep it neutral.

And that is a wonderful thing because it makes what you are going for more realistic and attainable.

I really appreciate the honesty, humor, and practicality of this book.

It is a wonderful read.

Okay, so that was my girlfriend reviewing my new book, Overcome Your Villains.

And I actually asked her, I said, you know, I keep getting questions about how does it compare to the first book.

And here, now I have to look for, where did I put it?

Where did I go ahead?

And oh, here we go.

Okay, this is what she said about comparing the two books.

And I'll give you my opinion on it.

She said, even though it has some similarities, the two books have some similarities, as far as subject matter from the first one, I felt like this one was very different from the first.

I did too, by the way.

It felt more in-depth and more personal.

And I loved how you had the exercises that the readers can use and also the anecdotes.

It's hard to explain, but it just felt more engaging, if that makes any sense.

I would say they don't need to read the first book in order to read Overcome Your Villains, but I agree that it brings more meaning to the second one and more to build on.

So, okay.

And that was, she nailed it, right?

So, and again, it just takes me back to where I was in 2018.

I was so scared.

I wasn't willing to go all in.

I mean, I went in for sure, and that was really hard to do at the time, but I went all in on number two.

And in my opinion, they're incredibly different.

There's value in each.

And if you do read the first one, which I encourage you to do now because the new one's coming out so soon, but if you read Confidence Creator now, you'll get a lot of takeaways that will help you with creating confidence in your own life building confidence in your own life but then having that knowledge as a base as a foundation to then upgrade yourself with overcome your villains it's really gonna help launch you to that next level faster and just because you listen to the podcast and i'm giving some of these insights you're gonna say oh my gosh i totally get what she's saying once once you read it so i hope you do i hope you go check out confidence creator before overcome your villains comes out and it's only a couple weeks away.

I can't believe it.

But I just want to remind you, you know, I'm reflecting back on three years ago.

I had never written a book.

It was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life launching Confidence Creator.

And guys, I was afraid to get sued.

I was afraid I wouldn't sell any books.

I was afraid of this and that.

None of that happened.

This book went number one on the business biography list on Amazon the first week it came out.

That's insane.

What's even more insane is that we're here three years later and Overcome Your Villains Villains already went number one on workplace culture list and it isn't even out, right?

So you have to start somewhere.

You have to be willing to take the risk.

You have to be willing to step into the fear and that unknown, not knowing what's going to come next and make the leap, trusting that your wings will appear.

And yes, I know how hard it is to do it, but I promise the more that you show up and do it, the easier it will get.

Okay, until next week, I hope you keep creating your confidence.

If you can, please leave a review, share the show, tag me.

I will always repost and reshare.

And if you haven't yet, pre-order Overcome Your Villains Now and you get the $500 bonus bundle for free.

It is going away.

The $500 free bonus bundle will be going away.

So go right now to overcomeyourvillains.com, check it out, pre-order, sign up, get your bonus bundle and get cracking on creating your confidence.

I decided to change that dynamic and the journal.

But I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear.

Start learning and growing.

Inevitably, something will happen.

No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while.

You could miss it.

I'm on this journey with me.