#493: DUMP the GRIND: Stop Hustling & START WINNING with Tracy Holland, Founder, Investor, Board Member, & Entrepreneur

We need to almost exhaust ourselves from that indecision wrestling to make a decision to move on. And once I made the decision, I write it down and I'm like, good, bad, or ugly, I'm going.
And I go because I'd rather be 80% right than 100% wrong. And sitting in indecision is never going to lead you to a good outcome.
I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow.
I'm ready for my close-up. Well, welcome back.
I'm so excited you are back here with us this week. I can't wait for you to meet our guest today.
She is my dear friend. Tracy Holland is a founder, investor, board member, and entrepreneur who is an authority on beauty and wellness.
Heck yeah. With a global track record of incubating and launching brands, she's a beast.
Tracy has dedicated her career to creating new brands and success stories by spotlighting innovation, amplifying authentic and celebrity voices in beauty and personal care, and nurturing promising talent, especially other female entrepreneurs. Most recently, Tracy's passion around women entrepreneurs and powerhouse women leaders was her inspiration for two initiatives, Potential to Powerhouse Podcast on Success Secrets of Women and Inner Fifth, an invite-only membership for elite female entrepreneurs.
And we are going to get into that today. Tracy Holland is also a founder,

executive chairman of Goodwill Brands,

a multi-brand, multi-category investor

and operating model,

making both minority and majority investments

into consumer-focused, founder-led brands.

Tracy, thank you so much for being here with us today.

Yo, yo, such a pleasure.

Guys, for everyone listening,

Tracy has found massive financial success in business for a number of different reasons. But one of the coolest things about Tracy is that when you go to her house, she is just like the most normal person down to earth.
You would never know she had two cents to rub together. And Tracy, that's one of the things I just love so much about you.
Thank you. I love that.
We have to stay true to who we are. You know what? Being an entrepreneur is hard enough.
And with all the pomp and circumstance at the end of the day, as you know, anything can come and go as fast as it comes, it can go. And you have to be true to yourself and be authentic and love who you are and walk in value.
Otherwise people think you're a dork and I don't want to be a dork. You have so much knowledge that you can drop on everyone.
And again, you know, back to what I was just talking about, who you really are. You're just such a real person.
And I know that one of the things that's important to you is always teaching, sharing, and helping to elevate others. I was hoping that we could start today diving right in to the burnout trap why hustle harder is a lie.
And you know, we live in such a culture where so many people with these big personal brands and multimillion dollar businesses are amplifying that message, hustle harder, work more. What's your take on this burnout trap and the hustle harder being alive?

Okay. So here's my question for you and those listening is there is this belief.
I think my parents told me this, but I would be curious if you remember where you first heard this. The belief is the harder you work, the more successful you are.
So 24, seven, seven days a week. I start at seven, I go to bed at 10.
I just grind it out. And there's this belief that there's a correlation between how hard you work and how much money you make.
Do you remember where you first heard that? My whole life. That's been my reality.
That's all I've ever known. Totally.
But the reality is, do you know that if you threw that idea out the window and you decided instead of working hard, I'm going to step out and I'm going to make a list of the top 10 most influential people that I know who know, like, and trust me, who are the top 10 most influential people I know. And I am going to come up with an intention for how to create wealth for myself.
And I'm going to reach out and have a meeting with all 10 of those people over the next two weeks versus I'm going to wake up at seven and sit in front of my computer until 10 o'clock at night grinding out work. I would be so curious and challenge anyone listening to try spending two weeks doing the grind, two weeks doing the top 10 most influential list outreach with intention and find out what brings you most amount of revenue and the most amount of income and opportunity at the end of that two week period.
It sounds like you're sharing this from a place of experience. Have you done this yourself before? I did.
You know, my last company, as it was going into being sold, I was so restless, Heather, because I didn't know where to go. I was used to working 24 seven.
And when you're in a sale process and they're actually just doing due diligence on your business, you actually have to go find something else to go do. Okay.
Because they don't want you tinkering with all this stuff in the business while they're actually going to buy it. So I had this like eight week period in which I had to go figure out how to shift my entire life in the way in which I thought.
And I called a dear friend who is also my chairman of the board. She is a legend in the world.
Her name is Christy Hefner. I called her and I said, I'm beside myself.
I don't know what to do. And she said, the best way you could be spending your time is networking with people who know, like, and trust you to think about what the next version of yourself is going to be.
Because you are so in the struggle of being ineffective, exhausted, working hard burnout that you do not see the other side of what could be for you. And I want you to just map out a plan.
Go meet with people. If you have to have four coffees a day, go do that.
And I was like, okay, that's what I'm going to go do. And it really works.
Meaning that you got such good insight from these other people, direction, guidance. What was it? Yeah.
And I got all of that. Plus people are like, Hey, you know, I'm working on this deal right now.
I'm closing on this opportunity. I'm just buying this company.
I just saw this new AI thing that I'm integrating into my business and I'm now doing X, Y, and Z. It literally, Heather, blew my mind to be around people who are more elevated, more successful, more wealthy, more sophisticated in areas that I hadn't been exposed to.
And all of a sudden it cracked my world open. And I thought, oh my God, how could I have been so heads down over the last couple of months? I'm glad I got this thing to the finish line, but my perspective on things are too myopic.
I am not seeing the big picture and I've got to figure out how to pull myself out and up and make time to invest in my future self instead of being so grinding on my current situation. You always share with me, it's not the how, it's the who.
So I appreciate that that's what you're really, you know, highlighting for us right now. It's like finding these people who've done the things that we want to do and are running at a higher level.
It's so, so important to surround ourselves with people ahead of us. But one of the things that I'm thinking about hearing you share this is I'm remembering your grind and your come up.
You were breastfeeding, doing presentations and pitches. Like you were so in the grind.
You were in the hustle harder. Tracy, like when is it the right time to hustle harder? And when is it the right time to take a step back and say, okay, I need to invest in my future self? I think there's a must, must requirement to your future self, which is to carve out a certain amount of time per week per month to only work on your future self.
There is a lie that exists that says hustling harder gets you more money or hustling harder gets you more success. And all I can say is once we're in that mode and believe me, you and I have both weighted tables and the way you made the most amount of money was not how many tables you had, it was how much quality relationship you had with each of your customers.
And then they would whip out a 50 or whip out 100 and say, Hey, thank you so much. I had the best time.
Here's a tip. 100 bucks.
I'm like, Yes, this is it. And I think just that is an example of what I mean.
It's not

grinding it out and just throwing people their food or getting people their to-dos or getting

those emails, grinding it out. It is taking time every single week to speak to your future self

by meeting with other people who are more successful and can do it differently than you do

and look at the perspective on it. I absolutely think it's the best ROI you could have.

One of the things that I hear from a lot of people is they're going to say, yeah, I get that for you, Heather. I get that for Tracy, because you guys have this network.
But a lot of people struggle or they identify that they don't have people who are ahead of them in their circle or they don't know who to tap. So how do you suggest people proceed when they know they've got that target and that goal that they want to get around those people, but they don't know how to do it? I think we have the solution.
I believe we have created it. And I think if you are a seven figure or above female entrepreneur who is looking for a high vibe, ultra successful group of women that you can learn from virtually and in person.
I really believe that Inner Fifth is the answer to how to find out who you could be as your future self by being around those entrepreneurs who are actually not only sometimes in the same struggle that you're in, but have

maybe overcome it and have a different perspective for you or who are just massively successful. And you get to vibe off of how they've created and what they've done.
For those listening right now that don't know what Interfifth is, can you share with everybody a little bit around what you created, what Interfifth is and why you created it? For sure. So everyone knows that being around other successful people is literally the fastest way to up-level your game.
So I would say to anyone listening who says, gosh, I'm not a seven figure or above entrepreneur. I don't even know where to start.
You need to find those people in your network who are the five most successful people that you know of.

And if that's a professor or if that's someone at church, you need to really go to them and say, may I shadow you? May I sit with you for a half hour a month and just pick your thoughts? Because I'm trying to uplevel my game and I respect and look so fondly on what you've done that I want to be like you. I promise you 99% of people will say yes to that.
But Interfifth is that for successful female entrepreneurs. If you have a seven figure or above business, we have created a highly curated, very selective, heart led, transparent, vulnerable, safe space as a membership to come and spend your time both in person as well as virtually on a regular monthly basis so that you can gain the perspective of these incredibly powerful women.
I think we have over $4.5 billion of net worth, Heather, in this membership group. And this is all women who are salon owners, restaurant owners, lawyers, doctors, but they all own their practice and they are the founder of the business.
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Oh my gosh. I have been blown away by the women you have introduced me to inside of Inner Fifth.
And it's interesting. And I know, you know, that, so often being an entrepreneur, one of the things I miss about corporate America is you don't have these massive teams of thousands of people surrounding you.
It's lonely and it can be really isolating when you're working on your business heads down. To have a community like Inner Fifth is such a godsend because everyone can relate to the struggles that you have, even though their business might be very different than yours.
They felt isolated. They felt lonely.
They felt all the same things that you're feeling. And it's just such a nice, there's a lot of comfort in that, you know, that struggle is real.
We're all in it together. For sure.
And guys, the reality is there are only three ways to change and completely pull yourself out of habit and have a completely different perspective from one day to the next. And there are these three.
And it's science-based, science-backed. Number one, reading.
When you read in your brain, read something, your eyes move left to right on a page, you can rewrite your brain and your synapses and how they're processing and the information they're taking in. And you can make an impact on how you think, feel and behave based on reading.
Number two is through the people you meet and spending time with your circle of influence.

Okay, so this isn't like your neighbor and people you say hi to.

It's your circle of influence. Okay.
So this isn't like your neighbor and people you say hi to. It's your five closest peeps.
You've got to really inventory that and decide, are these people raising me up or pulling me down? Are they teaching me something new or are they trying to stop me out? And number three is trauma, like a sudden horrible event. And nobody wants that way to learn.
I don't, I'm not opting for that. I would rather take the reading or the people, right? But the third way of having a completely momentous shift is having something happen to you one day that completely pulls the rug out.
And your entire way of being has to shift in order to process and move forward. So I encourage those who are listening, who are saying, I'm stuck.

I'm frustrated. I can't get past this place.
My mindset right now on this issue sucks and I can't get myself out of it. I'm in a rut.
Inner fifth is the answer to that as someone who really needed it myself, which is why we created it. It's literally game changing.
And the transformations that I've seen from some of the women, even just in the short time, you know, over the last six months that watching the evolution and the confidence soar through some of these women, just from the connections, the support, and that I don't even know what the word is, knowing that you're no longer alone, but you're a part of something so much bigger.

And that feeling of safety, of trust, of those bonds,

it's been remarkable to see.

What have been some of your highlight moments

and some of the growth that you've seen

in some of these women?

Well, I think each one of us is learning from each other,

which is why this group is so powerful.

Yes, we have curriculum days. Yes, we have IRL days where we go deep into particular topics that are super relevant for female entrepreneurs.
And we all upscale and uplevel each other and we hold each other accountable for those goals and expectations. But I would say my biggest breakthrough moments witnessing and watching confidence is a huge one.

I mean, as you know, Heather, we have people in inner fifth who are known on national stages who are very, very prominent, well-known, successful entrepreneurs and professionals. And yet, as we all know, when they get inside this group and they start to really talk about some of the things that keep them up at night, they're like, I feel like I'm living with imposter syndrome.
I have no confidence in speaking. Like I feel so socially awkward when I go up on stage that I'm sitting there paralyzed.
And yet from the outside, everybody thinks like, I'm so good at this. Isn't that like mind blowing when you hear that? I mean, it's ultimately that imposter syndrome.
It is. And I think to myself, you have an issue with public presentation.
You have an issue with getting on stage. I don't get it.
And yet they need the confidence and they need the way in which they can break through. And part of those are skills and tools that we learn inside of Interfit.
Like how do you walk on a stage? How do you hold yourself? How do you confidently give a speech? What does that look like mechanically? So we do do that work, but it's also just learning your mojo amongst a group of peers who you really deeply respect and think, I want to be like her. How can I do that? How can I gain some of that mojo from her in my own life? And it's so powerful.
Let's get into a little bit about imposter syndrome because I know it's something that so many people, especially females, have struggled with when you are the biggest obstacle in your business. And I think for most people, this is the biggest issue.
Totally. You know, imposter syndrome is so odd, right? Because if you think about it, do you remember your first day working in a restaurant, for example? Do you remember your first day on the job, never having weighted tables before and you're supposed to go around and like take people's orders? Do you remember? Yeah, of course.
It was stressful AF. Right? And now look at us both.
Look how successful, look at what we've built, how many things we've done, how many accomplishments. But I remember feeling imposter syndrome on my first day in the restaurant.
They hand me my little apron and my pad and my, and they're like, here's menu. I had already studied it.
And here are your tables. You have tables one through eight go.
Now what? I walk up, I ask the people at the table what they want five different times. I make sure I write it down perfectly.
I'm slow as fuck. I mean, it's one of those things where at every stage, you guys, of our successes, even though what we just accomplished was so major, at every stage, we go back into imposter syndrome.
I just want every single person on this podcast with us today to feel it with you and me that you and I are no different when we get thrown into a situation where we all of a sudden have to accommodate and like wing it and we don't have all the answers, right? And this imposter syndrome thing comes up where our brains are used to relying on our ability to know what to do. And when we get thrown in front of a new group of people, or even inside of Interfit, I've heard people who say, hey, I'm a new member.
They obviously qualify. They're a seven-figure entrepreneur.
They are meant to be in the room. They've gone through the interview process and they are accepted as a member.
And then they are silent, Heather, on the call. Have you seen this happen? Absolutely.
Yes. You know that you're texting them behind the scenes and you're like, Hey, XYZ, you have so much to contribute here.
Where's your voice? And they're like, Oh, I'm just trying to get used to or meet the group. I just don't want to really speak up and say anything until I get to know the group.
And that is a perfect example of imposter syndrome. I mean, do you yourself, can you think of a time where you were like, oh my gosh.
Yeah, the first thing that just popped into my head is ironically, and you know this, I'm leaving for Saudi Arabia on Friday and to speak at the largest tech conference in the world, lead tech conference in Riyadh. And last year when they reached out to me to hire me to speak, I had this moment of, oh, they want this glass of milk to head out to the Middle East.
Like who am I to go to the Middle East and take a stage for technology? Like I had this massive imposter syndrome that really took me some time. You know, I really had to work on it.
I had to process it. And for me and for everyone listening, one of the ways that I personally deal with imposter syndrome, I keep a journal of all things that I feel super proud of, right? Like whether it be a mom moment that, you know, helping my kid get through a really difficult time or whether it be when I took my TEDx stage and I was having a panic attack right before I walked out, but I pushed through it and I made it work.
Like these different moments of my life were like, things were hard. I was scared.
I didn't know how I was going to turn up. I didn't know if I was deserving of it.
I didn't know if I was ready for it and it all worked out. And so I look back at these moments and I allow those challenging moments to really launch me to that next one and to push through that feeling of imposter syndrome.
Bottom line is that, by the way, everyone, it's always easier the second time. Like the next time you go through it, it's just going to be easier.
But I'll tell you the other one. And I actually wrote about this in my second book, Overcome Your Villains.
When I was tapped to teach at Harvard for the first time, I had this complete, oh my gosh, I can't get into Harvard. Like I didn't have a strong enough SAT scores.
You know, I had Harvard on a pedestal and I had to put the rose colored glasses that this professor was seeing me through. I had to put them on and look at myself in the mirror with those rose colored glasses.
And I remember I said to him, explain to me why me, explain to me why you want me. And he said, because you're female, number one, he's like, and we have so few female professors here.
He said, two, you have real-time business expertise and experience in sales and sales leadership. And you're so much younger than I am, Heather.
And you're going to understand technology in a way that I can't convey it to my students. And the more he spoke, the more I realized the whole thing is I'm so different from him that I'm going to bring a totally different perspective and value prop to these people that they haven't experienced yet.
And suddenly I was able to see myself with those rose colored glasses and say, I'm scared to death. I don't know that I deserve to be teaching at Harvard, but I'm going to go and I'm going to give it my all.
And what I learned from that experience was I was so incredibly different than the professor that I was working with, that it was great value for the students, even though I was like an unconventional teacher for them. So it was just like a really incredible experience that now I lean on for leverage and, you know, to remind me that I can walk into these different stages and different arenas and different parts of the world and that it's all going to work out okay.
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Don't you also give yourself a ton of credit to know that at the end of the day, guys, what I just heard you say and what this reminds me of so much is we have these preconceived beliefs about ourselves or ourselves in the world or what we know and whether other people may know a lot more than we do. And we preemptively jump in with thoughts around that when people are looking at us thinking that about us, they're looking at us going, look at that superstar.
You know, even with you saying to me, I come to your house, you're so normal. You would never know how much success.
It's because the perception of the success has already built up a point of view about me or my lifestyle or the people that I am and everyone. And people walk in and they're all like nervous or they're anxious.
It's like that feeling where you're going in for an interview and you're thinking the person interviewing me is so much smarter and more capable than I am. I hope they give me the job.
I now go on dates. I'm like, you're so lucky that I'm here right now, mofo.
Like you could be the top, top surgeon or the top lawyer or the top whatever, but I'm walking in like, you're so lucky. It's all in that perspective shift.
And yeah, you're so right. They are lucky to be in your presence and they are lucky to be with you.
But for so much of both of our lives, we were seeing it the other way. Like you're only seeing, oh, I'm so lucky to be in this situation.
It's such a profound shift. And that's one of the beautiful things I feel like about getting older is that we're able to understand that and shift that now versus when we were younger, you have everybody on these pedestals.
This imposter thing is real. And you're like, oh my gosh, do I even deserve to be here? Finally stepping into that, appreciating who you are, finding confidence from within you, finding a team of like-minded women that actually have your back and aren't sabotaging you, which is like such a freaking beautiful thing to me.
And I love it so much. Speaking life into one another.
I remember one of our events in person, one of the doctors, female doctors that was there started like speaking truth to everything about, and Hey, I want to share this. And I have a driver.
I get my hair done. And, and remember, she just started like saying to everybody, and I feel good about it.
And I feel proud about it. And it makes me happy.
And you should too. And I just remember like, she was like speaking life into everyone that you don't need to apologize for anything.
And it was just, I love to watch these different moments of greatness that everybody has. And like, everyone has something unique and different that they can share.
And when you allow people that safe space to really share who they are, they just give these gifts to everyone and it elevates the whole team. Totally.
And that's what this is all about. I mean, seriously, if you are resonating with this conversation and thinking, how in the heck could I find this oasis of other powerful women who are successful, who all eat what they kill.
These are women who are entrepreneurs who are managing so much in their life. And yet we all walk in with this transparent, vulnerable heart that says,

here's what we're facing. Here's who we are.
Here's where we're a badass. Here's where we're worried.
It's like next level. And the place to check it out is innerfifth.com.
And maybe you don't qualify right now. Maybe now does not resonate because you have not made it to the level that would allow you to be a member, I would say stay tuned because we will have a next-gen version of Interfifth for those who are not yet Interfifth capable or member material, but want to be part of this powerhouse momentum.
And we will have something for you specifically that gives you a place to start so that you can become part of the Inner Fifth family as you graduate your own business and your own success level, you'll be able to be part of this because it is literally a movement. It literally is a movement.
Will you share with everybody what actually Inner Fifth, what does that actually mean? Yeah, Inner Fifth is the bridge between health, wealth,, relationship and purpose. So if you think of four pillars, inner fifth sits squarely in the middle of the four pillars as the fifth bridge.
And frankly, if you really think about your own life, we all look to calibrate all four of those pillars equal to one another. But when you know how seesaws work, when one goes up, the other one goes down.
And when one goes up, the other one goes down. And so we all face different points of crisis and celebration, and it can be in the same month.
So for example, I just had one of the best business months of my life in January. And at the same time, my house burned down at the beach and completely burned down, by the way, on my birthday on the news.
So imagine watching something you've spent and poured so much of your life's work and your money into. And all of us in California are underinsured because of the politics that we get to deal with here.
And when I watched my house burn down on the news, and it literally is my birthday, I was like, is this really happening? What have I done to deserve this? I went to all of those mindset issues of like, holy crap, like, how much money did I have in that house? What's my insurance level? Where do I have to rebuild? How am I going to P&L this? But at the same time, I have all this big business celebration over here. And what I would tell you is Interfifth is the exact place to have that crisis moment with that celebration.
And I can hold space for both at the exact same time. And that's what the four pillars are about.
Because guess what? Your business may be on fire, and you're killing it. And all of a sudden, your relationship or your marriage of 20 years completely hits the shits.
And you realize that your partner and you don't have a future. And where do you go talk about those kinds of moments where everything over here is succeeding and everything over here is potentially falling apart.
Inner Fifth is the place to do that and do that with a place where we all hold space for you. It's so incredible to see the support that everybody is offering one another in this community.
It truly is so heart centered and so heart focused. And I can't explain enough that I've never in my career been in a situation where I'm around so many like minded women that actually support and encourage one another.

So often in corporate, it was the complete opposite where people were not real and nobody cared about your marriage.

No one cared if you had a divorce. People were just climbing and it was about what can you do for me?

And I've never felt that way in Interfifth. I feel so supported, so seen and so encouraged.
And what you've created is just, it's so heart led, Tracy. It's beautiful.
One thing I will share with you is the reason why we have a code of conduct, Heather, inside of Interfifth to join and why we do go through this interview process is because number one, we want

to vet that each and every person is coming in with their level of time and commitment to themselves to become a success. Because as you know, if you don't invest in yourself, you're never going to get anything out of it.
So one is that, but two, the code of conduct says inside of inner fifth, I hold confidentially what each and every person talks about. No one, never, nothing do I repeat.
And we all know that if it's inside of inner fifth and we talk about something, no one, never, nothing gets repeated outside of that place. So it does, it really allows people.
Can you imagine if you had a great friend that you went and you shared your entire heartache or all your issues with, and they turned around and told five other people behind your back? That's the kind of thing that corporate's about. And that's why we are so strict about only allowing entrepreneurs because people who build things know what it feels like to build something.
And they are willing to put in the elbow grease and dig deep and bring their whole self it's like their freaking a game meet a different guest each week one of the things that i love so much about interfifth is you not only give us access to you, this incredible team of women, but you also tap and bring in all of the incredible people in your network. And I've been blown away.
One of the billionaires that you brought in to teach for us, teaching us about the mind movies, which literally has been life changing. I mean, the things that you've given us access to and open our minds to not only from, you know, a greater understanding, but actual tactical things that people can implement in their life that creates real change, revenue, love, health, wealth.
It's been mind blowing, Tracy. And I know that I'm not the only one that has seen this.
I mean, there's countless stories of people who are having life-changing shifts because of what you teach at Interfim. It's so fun to watch, Heather.
And honestly, as you know, this life journey thing, it's real. I mean, everything is going to be going perfectly.
And then all of a sudden you wake up one morning, you turn on the news and you see your house burned down, right? One tsunami goes back out to the sea and then you turn around and there's another one heading your way. Literally.
And I know that was one of the things that we wanted to get into was this idea of decision fatigue, stop second guessing and start moving fast. How do you handle decision fatigue for yourself? Yeah.
So I think that the house burned down situation is a perfect example of decision fatigue. I think let's first define the issue, right? Decision fatigue comes in when we overanalyze an issue we're facing and we start getting analysis paralysis, right? Have you heard that term? So analysis paralysis is what I call split energy.
It is where you have a focus here and then you question yourself and then you change your mind and you're over here. I can usually do that for about 24 hours before I give myself a hard time out.
And I say to myself, you may not know the right answer, but any answer is better than this answer. And so what I really want to do is be thoughtful about where decision fatigue is coming in and how do I eliminate it so that I can move forward with clarity.
Because without the clarity, without moving forward, it's almost like we're wrestling with ourselves. Do you know that wrestle sandwich where you wake up in the middle of the night and you're like, if I have to wrestle this conversation down to the floor and like hold myself down to get to an answer, I'm going to do it because I can't think about this one more time.
I've got to get to the other side of it. So here's my solution for that.
You can try it. I do it on placemats.
I don't know why for me, like old style placemat. I take the issue.
I put it on the left side of the placemat. I fold the placemat in half.
That's the issue. I turn the placemat over.
I write down every

possible outcome. That is my worst case scenario.
Okay. Like every possible outcome.
Then I circle

it and I pull that one out and I put it on the other side of the placemat. Now I have the fresh

side, right? So turn it over. I take that one worst case scenario and I start going through

why I'm wrestling with this worst case scenario. Like what's my biggest fear if it took place, like what would happen? And at the end of the day, there's not really anything real.
It's like the straw man. It's like the boogeyman in the closet.
It's not real. So then you start to look at it and you go, this is literally ridiculous.
Okay. If I end up pushing

a shopping cart because I have nowhere to live, I have no money. I can't afford anything.
I have my shopping cart. Okay.
And everything I own in it and me pushing it, that's my worst case scenario. Okay.
And I think to myself, even if I had this, I could push my shopping cart to Miami and you would take me in. Of course I would.
Okay. It's just like, these are the things our brain needs to get.
We need to almost exhaust ourselves from that indecision wrestling to make a decision to move on. And once I made the decision, I write it down and I'm like, good, bad, or ugly, I'm going.
And I go because I'd rather be 80% right than 100% wrong. And sitting in indecision is never going to lead you to a good outcome.
Oh my gosh. It's so freaking true.
And so often you see people just sitting stuck and life passing them by. I'm with you.
I would rather take the risk. I would rather take the chance that I'm making the wrong decision.
But I know that even if I am making the wrong decision, it will become clear to me. It will become apparent on that path.
So at that point, you can say, pump the brakes, hang on. This wasn't necessarily the right move, but it still was the right move because it got me moving, which now is allowing me to see, wait a minute, I got to change course and I need to go a different direction.
That's it. And man, Heather, do you know people who sent in six months or a year of indecision on a single topic? And then every time you see them, they bring it back up again.
And they're like, Heather, let me tell you where I am with this. I don't know.
Should I break up with them or not? Should I stay with them or should I break up with them? I'm totally miserable. It's like, you got to go break up if you don't break up with them.
That is actually, that's what I was thinking. Relationships is really the biggest place that I see that.
Actually, I'll use myself as an example. And you're 100% correct.
And this is hitting me like right between the eyes. I was in my position in corporate America and I was wrestling back and forth between, should I stay here or should I make a leap and try to do something else? I'm not really happy.
I'm not living my life's purpose. I knew I had clarity on all that, right? I'm making rich people richer.
I'm in the grind. I don't love it every day.
I was crying on Sunday nights because I didn't want to go back to work on Monday, right? Like it was obvious. I was not in the right situation, but I kept just asking myself, do I really want to give up on this? I was asking myself a question and never answering it.
I was just to your point. I was like a year later, well, I'm still there.
I mean, I don't know. What do you think? Right.
I let that go on way too many years. Simultaneously.
This is so interesting for anyone listening. Oh my gosh, please like take my words on this one and don't make the same mistakes I did.
I was in a relationship for years at the same exact time questioning the relationship just as much as I was questioning my job. And I wasn't pulling the trigger on either.
Here's what I learned by making the wrong decision, which is I let too many years go by in that relationship and too many years in that job. I knew I was meant for more.
Doesn't mean that the job's bad. Doesn't mean the fiance was bad.
None of it is bad. Just wasn't for me, right? Like I had outgrown it and I needed, I needed to walk away from it, but I was so stuck in the idea of what if, like, what if I'm making the wrong decision? What if I leave this relationship and I never find love again? These are things that I know it sounds crazy now saying that out loud, but these are the things that I was actually questioning for myself instead of doubling down on me and saying, I wake up every day with this feeling that I'm meant for more, that I'm meant for something different.
I need to double down on me and just pull the trigger and go and know that I'm going to move towards something that's better for me by letting go of what is not meant for me. And I couldn't do that.
I actually needed to get fired. And what's so interesting is getting fired was the biggest blessing and gift in the world for me because that forced me to go to work for myself because I had an 18 month non-compete.
And I had to start over somewhere new. And as I built confidence within myself during that period in time, that's when I realized I need to do the same thing with this relationship.
And that's when I ended the relationship. It was almost like I had to see, wait a minute, you've been questioning this job and questioning this relationship for years.
You just stepped into the unknown on the business side and it's starting to come together. I still hadn't pulled it all together, but I was like, a way is being made.
I wrote my first book. It started taking up.
Like I just started seeing like things are starting to come together. I don't know exactly what that means, but that's exactly when I pulled the trigger and said, then this relationship's got to end too.
And I'm so grateful. I should have done that years earlier.
I let way too many years pass me by and I'm never making that mistake again. Oh, doesn't that heart rate you though? I think the same thing sometimes I'm like, Oh my gosh, if I had just done this earlier, I would be at this different place.
Fully, fully aligned to that understanding that your gut and your instincts are just there to keep gnawing on you guys. It's not going to go away.
It's not going to pass. If you have that situation in which it's gnawing at you, believe me, today is not going to

be any easier or any harder than it is going to be in a year from now.

Trust me, do it.

Just pull the trigger, pull the ripcord, break up with the guy, tell him it's not you, it's

me.

We're not a fit.

I need freedom to move on.

And I promise you the other side of that free fall is faith.

And faith is the elixir to life, baby.

It is literally the elixir to life.