The Confession, Part 3

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That's this week on Explain It To Me.

Listen every Sunday morning, wherever you get your podcasts. Travell, how are you? I'm well, I'm well.
I'm very grateful, and I'm happy to be talking to you on this side. On this side.
How long have you been out? Well, today will be like a little under a month. Thursday will be a full month, a full, full weeks.
Last month, Travell Coleman was released from prison after nearly 14 years. We first met him at Fishkill Correctional Facility last summer.
In 1993, when he was 18 years old, he shot a man three times in Harlem. And I didn't plan on actually doing anything.
I just had a gun. And I was riding around, and I happened to see a guy, you know what I mean? And I was like, okay, well, you know, maybe I could just rob this guy, you know.
Travell rode away on his bicycle without knowing what had happened to the man. For years and years, he didn't tell anyone about that night.
The police never suspected him. We shared Travell's story in two episodes we released last fall.
They're called The Confession, Part 1 and 2. Travell told us that he always thought about the man he'd shot.
And 17 years after the shooting, Travell walked into a police station and turned himself in. He was 36.
You know, I started thinking about it more and more. I'm like, well, look, like, you know, if anything did happen, you know, that, you know, that will be, you know, I just felt like that was the only way, you know, I can, I can resolve it.
You know what I mean? Like, and I just thought about it. Well, if I turn myself in, I can find out what happened to him.
And if something did happen, then here we go. You know what I mean? And then I could kind of move on, whatever happens after that.
Because you didn't know if he was alive or dead. No, I didn't.
I didn't know. After a while, I told myself he was all right, you know, but I still didn't know.
You know, I didn't know for sure. Did it get to a point where even though if he had died, you knew that you would be going to prison for a very long time, it didn't matter anymore? Nah, it didn't matter.
It was like, it is what it is at that point. That's how I looked at it.
Like, whatever happens, you know, this is it. After he turned himself in, he learned that the man he had shot had died.
His name was John Hengel. Travell Coleman was sentenced to prison, 15 years to life.
Travell's lawyer, Steve Zeidman. You know, I've heard of people turning themselves in, but it's usually soon thereafter the crime, or it's somebody who knows law enforcement is looking for them.
What makes this entirely unique is that Travell was never a suspect in the first place. So no, I've never experienced anything like someone coming forward 17 years after the fact.
So no, this is absolutely extraordinary. When we last spoke with Travell and Steve, they had submitted a clemency application and were waiting to hear from the governor's office.
And then in December of last year, Steve got a phone call. Getting that call from the governor, from my perspective, it's hard to put in words, because clemency is so rarely granted, even in as compelling a case as Travell's.
So when a call comes, you know, there have been times they've actually said to me, take a seat. We have some good news for you.
This was one of those moments. Traval was being granted clemency.
That feeling right there was probably more concentrated than actually getting out. Because at that point, you know, we were anticipating, you know, something good happening.
But then again, you have these doubts like, well, maybe not. We don't know.
You know what I mean? So it was kind of like a, you know, kind of a roller coaster of emotions that I was going through at that time. And so it was like a weight was lifted type of thing.
You know what I mean? They can, the governor has the power to commute a sentence and basically say, you're going home tomorrow. Or they can do what they did in Travell's case.
They can say, we're reducing your sentence to make you immediately eligible to see the parole board. So I was thrilled to hear the news that clemency was granted.
I was not so happy to hear that he wasn't immediately going home because the parole board is never, you know, you can't guarantee that. Tell me a little bit about what you heard the clemency was going to be granted and then you were going to have to go in front of the parole board.
What did you have to do to prepare to go in front of the parole board? Was that meetings between both of you? Kind of what are we going to What's our case here? Yeah, the process of preparing for the parole board, it's pretty daunting. Travelle and I met.
We talked about the interview. We exchanged a lot of emails about what to expect, what are the trickier questions, what are the hard questions, how do you respond.
I know Travelle on the inside working with peers. There was a parole preparation workshop run by the men inside, but it's gathering materials to give to the board to make the best case possible, keeping your fingers crossed that you don't get some of the parole board commissioners who are unlikely to release anybody, frankly.
Once you get a parole board date, it's just a matter of chance about who are going to be the parole commissioners. And remember, this is on video.
It's not in person. There's supposed to be three parole board members.
Often there are just two. And not a lot of notice about who's going to be in front.
So you can only prepare so much. From my perspective, I prepare for the worst.
And by the worst, I mean the commissioners who are going to ask, frankly, what I think are ridiculous questions, you know, why do you deserve parole? What would you say to the victim's family?

Those sorts of questions, which there really is no good answer as far as they're concerned.

So you try and prepare, you go through every possible permutation, and then

trying to make sure that Travelle feels as ready as he possibly can.

I'm Phoebe Judge. This is Criminal.
And are you thinking the whole time, if this doesn't go well, we've got one shot here. You know, it's interesting you say that.
When Travelle got clemency and was made immediately eligible to see the parole board, there are a bunch of folks saying, well, the governor gave him clemency. Of course, the parole board is going to grant release, which to me is like that anybody would just assume that is a little frightening.
So you see the board, if you're denied, they can set your next interview two years down the road. If you're denied then, they can set your next interview two years after that.
So the stakes remained real high. So it's not as though, okay, we'll be back next week.
Correct. We'll take another number.
We'll wait. It's years, potentially, of life.
There have been people who've been denied parole 10, 12, 14 times. One of the first people I ever worked with was in 44 years on a 25-to-life sentence.
He'd been denied parole 14 times. The day of the parole hearing, Travell was brought to a building at Fishkill.
The parole hearing would take place over a video call. While you were waiting to be called, were you with other people who were going up against the parole board that day? Yeah.
Yes, it was about 10 of us.

Did you talk beforehand?

Yeah, we talked.

It was, you know, a lot of it was nervous chatter.

You know what I'm saying?

We were just consoling each other.

Not consoling each other, but just, you know, kind of helping each other get through it.

Yo, man, you know, don't worry about it.

You know, oh, you should be all right.

You know, one of those things. Yo, look, how long you been in? Oh, man, don't worry about it.
You know, stuff like that. And, you know, it was a couple of guys there that I actually knew that I actually worked with.
So we sat there and talked, you know. How does it actually work? I mean, do you, Travell, what happened during the hearing? Steve, you were there on Zoom? No, you can't have anybody present.
Travell's there on his own. When I was just there, you go in a room, and you sit down, and you're right in front of a TV, probably about that big.
And then the people pop up and they pan around and they introduce everybody. And then they usually have one central person to ask all the questions.
Were you nervous? Yeah, I was nervous because, you know, I mean, it was just intimidating. I never experienced anything like that, you know.
I didn't know if I was going to say the wrong thing. I didn't know, you know, I didn't know the temperature of, you know, how those things work.
You know what I mean? Do you remember the first thing they asked you? I think the first thing they asked me was, how do I see, like, how do I think I'm different now? I think that was one of the first questions, because when I first sat down, they just kind of just ran down everything. Like, they were talking, you know what I mean? They didn't, like, ask me anything.
They just were like, oh, okay, you know you're Travell Coleman, and is that correct? You know, I think that was the first question to me. You know what I'm saying? I was like, yes.
And then they decided, so you committed this crime this day, and this and that, and then they started winning, and they went on and on. But then, you know, that was the first question.
They said, so why do you, how do you think you're different now? Do you remember what you said? I mean, I just told them that I was a follower back then, you know, and, you know, I've learned to be more of an individual these days.

And I understand that I had to have a more righteous direction in order to live, you know, unlike, you know, I was living, you know what I mean?

And I understood that.

Travell told them about what he would do if he got out. He wanted to get a job and work on his music.
When it was over, how did you feel like it went? Were you still nervous? I was. I was nervous because I wasn't nervous.
I was uncertain. I didn't know, you know, at that point, you know, no, they don't give you any indication of what they're going to do.
Like, they're just, okay, you know, all right, good, thanks for, thanks for coming today. And I saw, you know, I knew a couple of guys that went in there and, you know, it seemed like they did well, you know what I mean? And then they wind up, you know, telling me later, like, yo, man, I didn't, I didn't make it, you know what I'm saying? So I didn't know what to think.
You know what I mean? I was like, you know, all I could do was wonder. But the only thing that did help me get through those long, long seven days, they said, we'll be getting back to you early next week.
And this was maybe a Wednesday. She said, we'll be getting back to you early next week.

So, you know, the first thing I thought,

Monday, I should have an answer, you know what I mean?

So that's what kind of helped me get through the weekend.

I said, okay, Monday.

We'll be right back.

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Steve, you know, you knew the day that Travelle was going up against the board. Were you differently, of course, but in the same way thinking, oh, what's going to happen? What's going to happen? Kind of on pins and needles.
Very nervous. Very anxious.
And you know, the thing about it, too, is a case like Tra's, because it was, because of who he is and the high profile nature, that adds an extra element of concern. Because ultimately, whether it's the governor, the parole board, they know that their decision is going to be public, right? It's going to be scrutinized.
It's going to be in the media. And in the back of my mind, I just kept being fearful that somehow that was going to tip the scale in the wrong way.
Were you trying to be positive, though, to Trevelle? Were you trying to not let your quiet fears show? Yeah, always, always. I remember the last time we saw each other, just saying, and I know it sounds like a cliche, but, you know, you got this.
He had the answers to every question. We really didn't need to even prepare that much.
And it's also the way people come across. And I know that that's subjective for all of us, but I mean, some people come across as just thoughtful, mature, humble.
And to me, that matters to the parole board, whether it should or not as a whole other thing, but I, yeah, confident and, you know, trying to convey confidence and keep some of my own fears to myself, you know each passing day, there are two ways to think about it. You're thinking, okay, with each passing day, is that good or bad? There was a way in which I was hoping, okay, this was Wednesday, Friday.
They should just let you know Friday you got parole. And when we didn't hear Friday, that kind of made me a little concerned.
Travelle, did everyone know that you had gone up against the parole board? You know, your friends, was everyone kind of waiting along with you to hear what was going to happen? Inside, not outside. I mean, of course, outside, but...
Yeah, well, inside, you know, just the people that I dealt with, like the people in my unit, you know, I mean, it's kind of a big thing when you go to the parole when you're inside because everybody knows with time, it's a certain set,

like a certain week when everybody goes to parole.

So, you know, I like ran into a couple people while I was walking over there.

So people know that you're going to parole, you know, so.

Did the guards know?

Did you speak to any of the guards about what was happening?

Yeah, some of them. Like I said, there's really no secrets in prison.
Even the guards, oh yeah, I heard you went to parole the other day, good luck. You know, stuff like that.
They were mostly supportive. On the Tuesday after his parole hearing, April 2nd, Travell was called into an office at Fishkill.
And you didn't know when they just said, come down here. You'd know it could have been.
Yeah, it could have been bad. So the thing is, it's true.
Now I know it's not really a legend. You know what I mean? In prison, they say, when you go in the office, if you get a small envelope, if the envelope is really, really thin, if you see it and they hand you that, then you'll probably be coming home.
You know what I mean? But if you get a thick envelope, that means it has all your stipulations, the reasons why they denied you and all of this stuff in there. So if you see a thick envelope, kind of understand what's getting ready to happen.
And I kind of saw someone at the know? So I'm like, oh, I didn't know which one was mine. You know what I mean? So I'm like, oh, man.
So then I sat down, and then the lady, she said she like reached over, and look, and my envelope was like super thin. I was like, wait a minute.
This might be good right here, you know? So I opened it. And at first, I really didn't know what I was reading.
And she said, all right, go to the second page. And I went, and I'm looking.
You know, I expected it to have, like, you know, old letters, like, approved. So I was like, you know, so I just, like, was looking.
And all I saw was a date. And I saw the date.
So I looked at the date, and I really couldn't believe what I was reading. I was like, how come it say 42924? And she was like, if that's what it says, you made it.
She was, you know, according to her, she didn't know what the result was, you know. But she said, well, that means you made it.
You know what I mean? I was like, oh, really? So I was like, wow, I said, praise the Creator. And she said, yeah, I mean, you know, you made some good decisions, you know, so congratulations.
What was that walk back to your unit like? Just talking about it is like, I got a little jump, you know, butterfly. You know, it was a feeling.
It was just so liberating. Like, you know, I was able to walk and look at, you know, in Fish Care, you could look at the highway when you're walking by, and it's just, it was like, wow.
you know what I mean?

But the funny thing about jail is, unless you're walking out the gate, you're still like, I'm still in jail, you know? The only thing that was going through my mind was like, I still have to wait 25 more days, you know what I'm saying? So I'm like, okay. The part that then became a little sticky, and this is where corrections and government officials can be a little cavalier about time, because they had the time, the release date wrong.
Technically, Travell was eligible for immediate release, but that's not what the paperwork said. And to try and get someone to pay attention, because their first response is, hey, the guy got paroled.
Good enough. This is great.
He's going home in a couple weeks. Everything is good.
What do you need us to look into? So it wasn't done yet. You saw that and said, okay, well, now we have to fix this.
It's not, you know, it's from my perspective, and this is as an outsider looking in, it's not done until you walk out the gate. And I tell family members, you can't, don't exhale completely.
Clemency is beautiful. Celebrate, but we're not there yet.
The parole board, the interview, looks like it went well. And even when you get the letter saying you're going home, until you walk out, until you walk out.
Yeah, basically. Then you can exhale.
Then you can fully celebrate. You know, that day, everybody that went to the parole board, you know, I saw them.
We were all going. They all called us all at the same time.
So people were, you know, coming from wherever they were coming from. But you saw them with their papers in their hands.
Some of them were looking sad. Some of them were, you know, you could tell that they made it.
You know what I mean? So for me, when I got back, you know, I was overjoyed. You know what I mean? But then, so when I got back, Steve, my daughter, and my wife, the first three people I emailed, boom.
Emailed them, sent it out, and I called my mother. And she told me, she said, look, if you get paroled, don't call me and say, you know, get this long, drawn-out thing and just try to, you know, look, Ma,

I got, you know.

Say it quick.

Yeah, she said, say it quickly.

Like, just call me and just say, I'm coming home, you know what I mean?

So when I called her, that's exactly what I did, you know?

I said, Ma, I said, she picked the phone up.

And she knew something was up because I don't usually call her before 1130, you know?

And this was like, it was about 930-ish, like, you know?

So I called her.

And she said, what's going on?

Thank you. I don't usually call her before 1130, you know, and this was like, it was about 930-ish, like, you know, so I called her.

And she said, what's going on?

I said, Ma.

And I was getting ready to draw it out, too.

And then I was like, oh, I remember what she said.

I said, I'm coming home.

And she just was like, oh, she just screamed so loud.

I was like, ah, man.

We just laughed and just, you know, it was just a joyous occasion, man. We'll be right back.
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That's I-R-O-B-O-T dot com. Everything was lined up for Travell's release on April 29th.
You know, I'm like, okay, I'm mentally preparing for a whole month. I'm like, okay, I got a little time to get myself together and stuff like that.
April 2nd, I'll forget in the morning, they called me. They said, they want you to come down to the office and sign out.
I was like, sign out? I said, I don't go home for another like almost 30 days. You know what I mean? It was April 2nd.
I go home in 27 days. I said, sir, why are you calling me so early to sign out? I'm not going home until the 29th.
So he says, oh, no, you're going home April 4th. You're going home on Tuesday or Thursday.
I was like, and it was Tuesday. I said, sir, you serious right now? I'm going home two days from now? He was like, yeah.
The mistake that had been made with his release date had been fixed. I mean, that's why things happen so fast, is when they finally realized it, they said, okay, wait a minute, he's going home Thursday.
Oh, I never really knew what happened. Yeah.
Who was there when you walked out of the gate? My mother. My mother was there.
My ex-wife, my sons, my aunt, a friend of mine that drove her up there, my brother. What was that drive up to Fishkill like? Before it even came out, what were you all talking about? We were like a kid the day before Christmas.
Like, it was just such excitement. Travell's brother, Karan.

That's all we could talk about.

Like, we would stop talking about it for 30 minutes to try to change the subject, but would somehow get right back to the joy of knowing that he would be home soon, you know? And what was it like to be able to be with your brother freely, right?

Not in a visiting room, not anyone monitoring what you were saying or what you should or shouldn't do. It's the best feeling in the world, you know.
Like we're right now in the process of, you know, building a relationship as two grown men, you know, with kids. And, you know, I was a teenager when he went away.
And, you know, he was going through everything that he was going through. So we, you know, wasn't as close back then.
So now that, you know, we're both, you know, free and grown and able to just, you know, build a new relationship, and it means the world. Did it feel surreal driving away? Yes.
Yes, it felt like, you know, because I had drove down that same road plenty of times, like going to a trip or going to medical trips, you know what I mean? That's the only time we really leave the facility, you know what I mean? So, you know, to ride down that same road, like, and knowing I'm not coming back, you know, knowing I don't have to come back that day, you know, stuff like that, it was definitely surreal. Steve, what is it like knowing that Travell is out now, home? Well, Travell, you know, I mentioned this to him.
There's a group called the Clemency Collective, which is 22 people who receive clemency. And there's a planned meeting to kind of welcome the newest member of the collective, so which makes everybody pretty excited.
But the other part of it is, and this is not to put a burden, you know, I'm Travelle right here, but to the extent that it fits within his life to be sort of a spokesperson when the time comes for clemency, for what it meant for him, for what it means for others. I'll say this other part too.
When he got clemency, word spread so fast. And I don't mean just, I mean everywhere, actually,

but in the legal community, people knew about it. The governor's office obviously knew that he got parole.
So it sent a message, you know, because he's known to people, right? And so him getting clemency, him making parole, it reverberates. My hope is it opens the door a little bit for others.
is these past four weeks been what you expected them to be? Been what you thought about they would be when, you know, two years ago or three years ago? You're thinking, if there's a day when I'm out, has it lived up to what you thought it would be? Yes, I could say yes. I'm not going to, you know, I really didn't think about going home a lot, you know what I mean? Because I just, you know, that's just not, you know, healthy to do when you, you know, in there.
Because, you know, you start thinking and you start getting anxious and, you know. You know, so I tried to just, from time to time, coming home did cross my mind, you know what I mean? It was just a happy feeling, you know, of like, like wow maybe one day this will be over you know so for me to come home it's it's that that feeling manifested you know so i i feel i feel the joy that i thought i would feel you know when i first came home you know it is it's definitely a difference you notice that you know wow i you know i'm able to you know do certain things certain liberties are restored but you know, it's definitely a difference.
You notice that, you know, wow, you know, I'm able to,

you know, do certain things, certain liberties are restored. But, you know, it's kind of like riding a bike.
Like, you really think, you know, you never really forget how it is to just be able to just move, you know. What was it like to be with your sons and daughter? I mean, what, you know you talked talked about that, you know, being out with them, and have you gotten to spend a lot of time with them since? I mean, I've got to spend not as much time as I would like, you know, but, like, I would like to, like, take a trip with them and, like, go somewhere, you know, be able to relax and, you know, wake up and be with them again, you know, things like that.
You know, with the curfew that I have in the place where I'm staying, it's not, you know, that's not really, really possible. Like, right now, you know, I still got to come home every night.
I mean, come back to that place every night. So I haven't had a chance to really, like, you know, spend nights with them and stuff like that.
When that trip does happen, where do you want to take everyone? I don't know. I would like to go with my kids.
I would like to take them to somewhere fun. I'm trying to get away from saying Disney World.
Are they too old for Disney World? No? Nah. Nobody's ever too old for Disney World.
So I'm probably going to something like that. You know what I mean? I would want to take them to something like that.
I also want to just experience things with them, you know, experience seeing different things. It doesn't have to be super exciting or anything.
Just, you know, maybe just seeing, you know, a certain region or, you know, something like that.

At his parole hearing last month, Travell submitted a personal statement.

In it, he wrote,

By no means do I believe that I'm excused for taking Mr. Henkel's life.

What I expect of myself is to be aware of the second chance at life I have been given, and to be an example of love, mercy, truth, and forgiveness. Criminal is created by Lauren Spohr and me.
Nadia Wilson is our senior producer. Katie Bishop is our supervising producer.
Our producers are Susanna Robertson, Jackie Sajiko, Lily Clark, Lena Sillison, and Megan Kinane. Our show is mixed and engineered by Veronica Simonetti.
Julian Alexander makes original illustrations for each episode of Criminal. You can see them at thisiscriminal.com.
And you can sign up for our newsletter at thisiscriminal.com slash newsletter. If you want even more Criminal, join Criminal Plus.
You'll get bonus behind-the-scene episodes twice a month with even more stories, like this week's episode about a man who planted 33 pipe bombs all over New York City and was finally caught using one of We'll see you next time. To learn more, go to thisiscriminal.com slash plus.
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We're also on YouTube at youtube.com slash criminal podcast.

Criminal is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.

Discover more great shows at podcast.voxmedia.com.

I'm Phoebe Judge.

This is Criminal. Hey, everyone.
Sean here. I'm really excited to share with you our special series, AI and Us, sponsored by Canva.
We'll take an in-depth look at how AI will impact our lives in the future and explore the observations, ambitions, and reasoning behind it all. In our first episode, I'll interview futurist and tech pioneer Jaron Lanier about the current state of AI, the potential it can unlock if we manage this technology well, and the implications for humanity if we don't.

And then in the second episode, I'll talk to Julia Longoria,

host of Vox's Good Robot, about the beliefs and ideologies of the people building,

funding, and influencing artificial intelligence,

and how looking at this AI origin story can provide clues

into how this technology will change the way we live and work.

You can find our special series, AI and Us, right here on the Gray Area.