386: Play Me Some More Fiddle

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John, or as I prefer to think of it, dear John and Hank.

It's a podcast where two brothers enter your questions and give you the best advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

John, do you know how, like, what the mass of TikTok is?

This is an interesting question.

I've always been curious.

Oh, well, it must weigh something.

At this point, I'd say that it probably weighs about one Instagram

and falling from falling.

Yeah.

I would say it's losing mass.

I would say it weighed two Instagrams just a year ago.

It did.

I think it probably weighed about two Instagrams and now it weighs one Instagram.

I mean, in my own life, I got to tell you, it weighs like 0.7 to 0.8 Instagrams.

Yeah, it's starting to feel that way.

I think a lot of the mass of TikTok went into TikTok shop.

And that just makes it that the massive TikTok shop is like 89 89 instagrams

and i don't want any of them

yeah fair enough um how are you hank how are things how's life you i'm yeah i'm hungry well that's not for now again we don't have bodies when we record this podcast we are made out of spirit stuff Yeah, I have nearby me, I have two things I can eat.

I can eat either Rikola cough drops or this chapstick.

Please don't eat either of them because again, you don't have a body.

We don't want people.

We don't want people imagining some physical reality.

We want them living in the third space that connects the three of us, you, me, and the listener.

What if, what if, okay, no, we're gonna change that up.

This is it.

We're doing a new thing.

It's it's a it's a mobile intensive podcast with real body movement.

I'm standing up now.

You can tell just by listening, can't you?

I'm standing up and I'm doing a stretch.

Hands up.

Hands down.

I'm waving my arms.

Hands down.

I'm waving my arms.

Hands down.

I'm waving my hands in the air, Hank.

I'm waving my hands

like I just don't care.

I'm going left.

I'm going right.

There you go.

You feeling that?

Yeah, I'm moving.

Well, I don't want you to be moving so much that you're losing your breath.

I just want to be able to picture your body and space.

How's the hair?

Is it still curly?

It's still curly.

And spin.

All right, that's the last spin.

Okay, I'm pretty dizzy.

All right, let's answer some questions from our listeners.

I don't have the questions, Doc, open.

John, you go first.

I wish that I could, I wish that I, I wish that you could all relive with me

five minutes ago when Hank said, I'm already ready to make the podcast.

I can't wait for you to finish this email.

I'm going to hang up and you can call me back in a few minutes when you're ready.

This question comes from Emma, who asks, dear Hank and John, Why does my cat put her mice in the water bowl?

Is she drowning them or giving them a bath?

Does she do it because she knows it annoys me pumpkins and penguins emma

uh she's drowning them that's what cats do they're killers they're murderers look at their teeth have you spent any time with your cat your cat is is a stone cold killer it's wild i'm reading the warriors books which are about cats in the wild

house cats that have become wild and uh with aurin and it is an absolute delight and it is like wow look at what my cats could be but are not they want to be that that's who they are on the inside we're actually not sure like them like the cats that that cats are domestic like domesticated cats come from don't seem to drown prey and they don't seem to cache their prey in water they just bury them uh so so there's also some thought that your cat is just sort of like this is a me space uh which is my bowl that's for me and this is a me toy and i'm gonna put my me things in my me places uh So maybe it is that also could potentially.

We don't know though.

We can't get into the brains of the kitty pets.

I mean, I can't even get into the brains of the people I love the most.

I can't even get into your brain.

We've got a load of cat brain.

John, I can't get into my own brain.

Sometimes.

I'm here.

This is me.

And I'm like, why do I feel that way?

No idea.

It's interesting you say that because I would more characterize my situation as being unable to get out of my brain.

Hmm, it's both.

Huh.

All right, we've got another question.

This is from Emma.

We're trying to answer more questions, by the way.

We've made a commitment to each other.

There's a second.

It's not that surprising.

Remember that time there was an Emma with three M's, but this Emma only has two M's.

Dear mostly John, but also Hank.

How do you quit Twitter?

Oh, Emma.

You could ask me or Hank because neither of us knows the answer.

You did it.

Unsurprisingly.

Unsurprisingly, this micro-blogging social media platform is really bad for my mental health, but no matter what I try, I can't seem to quit it for longer than a week or so.

I feel addicted to the teeny, tiny rush of attention I get from the app.

I tried deleting the app off my phone, but I still find, find myself logging on through the desktop site, not Lizzie Bennett or Ann Elliott, Emma.

Yeah, I hear you.

I hear you, Jane Austen Super fan.

I hear you.

I think about this all the time.

So

there's the times when I'm on Twitter and I understand.

So this is, again, I don't understand myself, but when I'm on Twitter, I kind of understand why I'm there.

I'm like reading stuff and I like see that and I and then I make stuff and then I'm like seeing how people are interacting with it.

And the tiny bit of attention that Emma gets for me does not feel tiny.

But what I don't really understand

is

when I

am not on Twitter and then I am, what happened?

Right.

I mean, that's the thing.

I took 18 months off of Twitter and I missed nothing.

I don't mean that I didn't miss much.

I mean that I missed nothing.

I missed a couple opportunities.

I missed the opportunity to promote the Looking for Alaska Hulu show.

I missed the opportunity to share some stuff that I cared about, but I missed nothing in terms of the capital D discourse.

Nothing, literally nothing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm thinking about this a lot because I'm trying to figure out how.

Well, the truth is you're trying to get off Twitter.

You're just not ready.

I would.

I'm just, I just don't want to, and I'm failing, and so I fail at it.

You're not ready to say you're trying to get off Twitter, but that's what you're trying to do.

Like privately, you'll acknowledge that you're trying to get off Twitter.

Yeah.

And but like, I like, I think that like making a big like, I'm getting off Twitter is, I mean, that's one way to kind of make it happen is to be like, I'm getting off Twitter.

And then like, doesn't last.

If I tweet, people are like, hey, look at you off Twitter, huh?

Right, right, right.

So, so at least that I would have a reason to not tweet.

But I, I will say there's no, there's no evidence that you're like spending less time on Twitter.

Right.

I could still be there, just not tweeting, which is probably better.

There's no evidence that you're tweeting less.

Oh, for me right now?

Yeah.

Oh, for sure.

Oh, yeah.

Well, my point is that, like, you can't, you can't say, like, oh, I'm not going to tell people I'm trying to get off Twitter.

I'm just doing it quietly and not make any progress.

That's like when somebody's like, it's like when somebody's like, hey, I'm not announcing that I'm quitting smoking.

I'm just cutting down, but I am smoking the same number of cigarettes per day.

Yeah.

Well, no.

It's a new kind of cutting down that you haven't heard about yet.

For sure.

I, so what I'm trying to do is to figure out other ways to satisfy the impulses that Twitter, like a nicotine patch for Twitter.

And which my hope, my dream is that an email newsletter could be that.

I think I'm wrong.

You're wrong.

But maybe I'm right.

It's going to be a great email newsletter.

It's called We're Here.

I'm very excited for it.

But I do not think it will replace your addiction to Twitter.

I've recently tried to replace my addiction to TikTok with it really trying hard to get addicted to Instagram.

So, Emma, I'm having this really interesting experience right now where I'm using Instagram Reels and Instagram Reels is pretty sure about two things about me as a person.

And one of them is that I'm an evangelical Christian.

I had this on TikTok for a while.

Because Instagram knows that I'm a Christian.

They know that I'm Episcopalian.

They know that I've made reels about being Episcopalian.

They know that I've talked about Jesus and that I've talked about the gospels.

And Instagram has therefore concluded that since there is only one kind of Christian, or there's kind kind of like two positions on Christianity, pro and anti, and I'm clearly pro.

And so, given that I'm pro, I'm going to get a lot of pro content.

And I'm like, no, no, no, not like that.

Uh-uh.

No, yikes.

Some of that stuff makes me really uncomfortable, actually.

But then I stitch that stuff because I'm like, no, this is wrong.

This does not reflect the gospel.

And so I stitch that stuff.

And then Instagram is like, oh, he really likes it.

Hank, that's the now.

That's the biggest mistake.

Hank, can I ask you a serious question?

And I want you to be 100% swear to God honest to me.

Uh-huh.

Do you swear to God?

I swear to God, I will be honest with you

or not answer the question.

So

sometimes there's like a half-second pause between when I say something and when you laugh, and that usually means that you're on Twitter.

Were you just on Twitter?

No, I did just type into Google how much would it cost to build a whole house out of Lego.

That is exactly.

You did, you got the right thing, but for the wrong reason.

Okay.

But yeah.

This is what it's like having Hank Green as your brother.

You're curious.

But it wasn't Twitter.

Would it be cheaper than a house or would it be more expensive than a house?

Well,

that's the question that was sent in by Grace.

Dear Hank, good John, I'm a millennial who may never own a house.

How much would it cost to build a whole house out of Lego?

Considering all my options, Grace.

Emma, we have no idea how to get off Twitter.

Grace, I've got good news.

Well, first off, I need to know a couple of things about you, Grace.

Are you by any chance tiny?

Yeah,

because then not a lot.

If you're Lego-sized, we're talking a couple hundred bucks.

But if you're human-sized, I've got bad news according to a Reddit comment from five years ago, which says

the cost or glad that you went to the best possible source there's a lot of math in it there's a lot of math okay uh it's just doing based on like the sort of grams of material you would need um you would need between 327 and 655 million dollars what no

yeah legos are cheap dude I understand that, but there's no way that you can't, there's no way that if I went to the Lego Corporation in Denmark or wherever they're headquartered and said,

wait, let me try.

Hello.

What?

It's me.

I'm doing my Danish accent.

Okay, I like it.

Yeah, I'm, yep, I feel like.

Hello.

Uh-huh.

Hello.

Greetings.

Okay, I'm Hank.

How are you?

Yeah, John.

Oh, you're John?

Nice to be your acquaintance.

You're John, you work at the Lego company?

No, no, no.

I'm me.

I'm me.

I'm just trying to speak in a way that helps the Danish Lego people feel at home.

No, that's not working.

You have to be John who works at the Lego factory and I'll be me.

I want to buy a lot of Legos.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, John, here's the situation.

Houses have gotten really expensive in America.

Yes, I hear.

Prices of timber through the roof.

Yeah.

I'm thinking about buying a house or some land and just building a house out of Lego.

Okay.

Does anybody do this?

Is this a thing that happens sometimes?

My first very is insulation?

That was a little German.

My first, first, first, I worry about insulation.

That makes sense.

Uh, there is, you may know a lot of space between Legos, uh, and maybe that is going to capture the air and that will provide good insulation.

Or maybe I'll build an outer and inner wall and then just uh fill the fill the inside with insulation.

I

say we could do it for two million.

Uh, kroner

two million kroner.

Okay, uh,

kroner, two $2.

I think we might be on the Euro.

That's $188,000, John.

That's not so bad.

I mean, the land is going to cost me something.

Yep.

Will you build the house for me?

No.

Will you...

No.

Have you...

You want Lego Master to come to your

land and build you Lego house?

This is crazy.

But

you will give me a discount on the blocks.

No discount, just 2 million kroner.

Well, that seems like less than I would spend if I was going to just like buy a bunch of Lego sets and build it with.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, of course.

Yeah, we're not going to make you go to Target, buy 6 million Lego Ninjago sets and build house from Lego Ninjago.

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

Great.

Well, I mean, honestly, I'm a little worried about leaks.

I think that that's my biggest concern rather than insulation.

Just water getting in.

But you said it would work.

And so we're going to do it.

Did not say it was going to work.

I said I would sell it to you for 2 million kroner and I stand by that.

I can't do my bad fake Danish accent anymore.

It was hurting my own feelings, let alone the feelings of our Danish listeners.

I hope, I hope.

that they will

appreciate it in the spirit it was intended.

I hope that

they will just be laughing at you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To be clear, that wasn't a laugh with me.

That was a laugh at me.

I hope that everybody got that one.

I definitely felt that.

Tuna, tight as possible.

Just make just

disagree, tuna.

You can make it, but you can use all the words that we had, but have all the words take up as little space as possible.

$133 million.

I'll just say this right now, Hank.

Yeah.

If you're telling me that it costs $500 million to build a Lego house, I know this is a bold thing and that this could lead to my literal bankruptcy.

I will build you a Lego house for $100 billion, and you will be happy with it.

I am convinced that for $100 million, I could build a fine, acceptable Lego house.

I agree.

I agree.

I think that they were doing it by weight.

So they were like, a house weighs this much, and a Legos weigh this much.

Oh, no.

But like, it would be lighter than a normal house.

Yeah, you'd be able to move it around.

That'd be one of the great benefits of it.

Now, as you say, it wouldn't be watertight, which would be a significant disadvantage.

I actually did tour a a company that makes 3D printed houses.

Yeah, I love it.

And super cool.

And I was like, so is this like, you know, will it ever be cheaper than a normal house?

And he was like, ah,

it's the

wall system.

If you wanted to make this shape of a house with normal materials, this would be cheaper.

And I was like, yeah, because it's got a bunch of curves in it and it's hard to make curves.

He's like, yeah.

And I was like, what if it was just a normal house?

He was like, this is still more expensive.

I was like, forever.

And he was like, of course not.

In the future, we will find lots of ways to make it cheaper.

And I was like, call me when it happens.

Because that is, of course, what you're going to say.

But I do like, honestly, I think it could be a thing.

I think it could be a thing someday.

Do we live in the world?

I think it could be a thing.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

And by the way, if 3D printed houses become a thing, what if you could 3D print the blocks that the house is made from?

You got a Lego house.

Yeah.

You just, you just

pour Legos into a machine machine and it goes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, Hank, we got another question from Leo, who writes, Dear John and Hank, what happens to the dirt displaced by the coffin when they bury you?

They can't.

Why you, Leo?

Why not someone?

Just

one.

They can't just put it on top or there would be a mound of dirt with the same volume as a coffin on top of every grave, right?

Leo, me oh my, Leo.

Actually, even more dirt than that, because the dirt that they dug out is all nice and compacted, but when they dug it out, it all got loosened up.

Yeah, that's true.

But also, they know that in the future, that if they leave it leveled off, that it will, you will get a

dip as it all

as it compacts.

And even eventually, as like the coffin itself potentially compacts,

you're going to get a dip.

So you're going to have a very bumpy ride.

I'm imagining, yeah, not that you should ride your golf cart through a cemetery, but it would be a bumpy ride.

And so what they do is

they do actually leave a pile of dirt on top.

Yeah, there's a mound.

It remains

and then it's then it sort of settles in over time.

It sort of levels off over time.

And that's how they do it, Leo.

And sometimes they have to come back and put more on top later.

They do.

And they do have a little bit of extra dirt left over, and they just,

you know, I assume, keep that around.

Do stuff with it.

So you know how when guys hang out, you like say things that aren't true.

I don't know why this is true.

We use like you just like say stuff and like, ah, gotcha.

That one, you know, herpes comes from oranges.

Sarah and I do that all the time to each other.

It's not just when guys hang out.

Okay.

Well, I was hanging out with some guy friends for the first time.

I met a guy and he was like a real like fun, funny guy.

And I, and he, and I was like, what do you, what do you do for a living?

And he was like, I'm a gravedigger.

And I was like, ha, nice one.

And he was like, no, I work at the cemetery.

I dig graves.

Groundskeeper also.

And I was like, but what do you really do?

And he was like, actually a gravedigger.

And I, and he was a grave, and we're still friends to this day.

And he's still a gravedigger.

He works, actually, he now, he like manages the cemetery.

And it's a real job.

So I, because of my friend, know more than I feel like I should about how cemeteries work.

I know more than I should about how cemeteries work because I visit one most days.

You are a little bit obsessed with one.

Yeah.

I'm a bit of a Victorian gentleman in terms of cemetery visiting, but like they want you to visit the cemetery.

The people who work at the cemetery want visitors and they want you to walk through and look at the graves.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

It's nothing, it's not weird.

It's normal.

Oh, we got a question from Kayla who asks, Dear Hank, John, my roommate told me that you can tell if a battery is dead if it bounces more when you drop it.

I did not believe her, but then she showed me, and sure enough, the dead battery bounced, and the charged one hit the table with a definite thud.

I just want to know why.

What could possibly cause this?

It hurts to not know what's going on here.

Kayla, wow,

wow, that made it all worth it.

Yeah.

Hurts and Watts.

It's impressive.

Yeah.

This is, so I, first time I heard about this.

You know, James Watt.

James Watt?

The

tinkerer behind the efficiencies in the steam engine that made it so much more efficient that it made it worthwhile to dig up all the coal in the world,

which completely transformed both human history and the atmosphere.

Did he die of tuberculosis?

Probably, but that's not what this is about.

Let me finish.

Okay.

James Watt had two kids with tuberculosis.

The first one died quite young.

And then in the middle of like his big success, when he was like living high on the hog and like very, very famous and everything, he basically stopped researching into steam engines and for years was trying to discover a mechanical gas-based solution to tuberculosis.

So like pumping nitrous oxide, for instance, into the lungs so as to give them a chance to rest.

Now, there was actually something to that in the sense that TB is a highly anaerobic bacteria.

So like denying it oxygen does kill it.

But of course, it's also really bad for humans to be denied oxygen.

And anyway, he like...

totally left behind his other work to focus on this obsession to try to save his son, Jesse.

And then his son tragically died at the age of like 27.

And then James Watt went back to doing a lot of the work that we know him today for.

But he had this big interruption in his life that was related to TB that kind of could have changed world history.

But then he went back and kept making the steam engine better.

That's your little tuberculosis fact for today.

Hank, what's the answer to this question?

Why do dead batteries bounce?

Well, you can't really tell if a battery is dead if it bounces.

Like if it bounces, it doesn't mean it's dead.

It means that it's been used some at least.

Whereas if it doesn't bounce, then you can say, ah, that one has full charge.

So that's wild that you could tell that.

But it turns like batteries, alkaline batteries, when they they get used, are physically changing on the inside.

So that like when

there's something getting used up, right?

Nothing's, I mean, yeah, not really.

A chemical reaction is occurring.

So all the same atoms are there afterward, but they are in different molecules.

So you have zinc metal beforehand, and that's a metal, and it's like a rod.

And so it doesn't have a lot of flex in it.

And then afterward, you have zinc oxide, which apparently is just bouncier.

Like it will compress when you drop it and then spring back into a normal, into its original shape.

And that will transfer some of the momentum from the bounce, from the hitting the table back into upward motion.

So it like the material inside of a used battery is bouncier than the material inside of an unused battery.

And I don't know who discovered this, but I saw TikTok about it once and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that's real.

It seems, it sounds like a prank that you would play on someone, like you would drop it on a different material or something, but it's real.

Wow.

wow that's mind-blowing i always used to think that i could kind of feel the difference between the weight of a used battery but that's not a thing so there's no difference in weight there's just a difference in bounciness which is almost more interesting yeah well there is i mean there probably is a very slight slightly different

right but like you're not going to be able to feel it in terms of like

when you're doing bicep curls no no now because how many i don't know if anybody knows it but john loves to do bicep curls with a battery just a single double a battery that's all you need a lot of times people talk talk about wanting to sort of maximize, but you just, if you go to failure, it doesn't matter whether you're lifting with 50 pounds or two ounces.

Just go as long as you can go.

Which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by John Green's Workout Tips.

John Green's Workout Tips, AA bicep curls for the win.

Today's podcast is also brought to you by Kitty Pets.

Kitty Pets, they're the cute little cats that live in your house that have murder faces and hands.

And today's podcast is brought to you by the $100 million Lego house that John built for you at a significant profit to himself.

And this podcast is brought to you by We Are Here, our new newsletter that launched last week.

You can get it

by looking for that in various,

there's got to be a way.

Just Google it.

Just Google it.

We've also got two Project for Awesome messages to read.

One from Miranda to Melia or possibly Melia.

I often struggle with what to write in your birthday cards, but maybe I can manage a podcast message.

Here it goes.

I'm so lucky, grateful, and proud to have you as my sister and pal for life.

We've made lots of awesome memories together so far, and I look forward to more laughter and fun times in the future.

Your duck is now a bird.

That sounds like an inside joke, but it's also very kind of sweet.

Like, all ducks are birds,

but not all birds are ducks.

And now, maybe your duck will be a duck again someday.

We also have a Project for Awesome message from Rachel to Hank and John, who says, I've been a nerdfighter since 2010 when I was 14.

And now you're 18.

Nope.

Now you're 20.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

That was half your life ago, Rachel.

I want to say thanks for always modeling thoughtfulness, compassion, and unironic enthusiasm.

I also want to shout out my husband, Joe, who listens to the pod with me because he's always eager to participate in anything I love, which is one of the things I love most about him.

Also, what's your favorite midnights track?

Mine is Karma.

I like karma a lot.

It's my daughter's favorite track on midnights, but mine is the one with a curse word in it, so I don't feel like I can repeat it.

It's called Vigilante

Stuff.

I like the line, I don't dress for women, I don't dress for men.

Lately, I've been dressing for revenge.

As I took on,

as I made a video yesterday about my longtime nemesis, the profiteering from tests to the poor corporation, Danaher, as I was making that video, I was playing that song in my mind, just thinking, like, you have the courage to do this.

This is fine.

This is not even that difficult.

I find that stuff so stressful, Hank.

Like, I think the CEO of Danaher thinks that I really like, like, relish it, you know, and that, like, I enjoy this, but I don't.

I really hate it.

It makes me want to throw up.

But

I also feel like other people

who would fight that fight don't have the megaphone that I have.

And so I have an obligation to them.

So

anyway, Danaher, if you're listening, or anybody who works at Danaher, if you're listening, you got to stop charging 300% markup for these tests in poor countries.

It's just not, it's really slowing down human progress.

And I know that's not what you want to do.

So like, just go to the negotiating table so I don't have to keep making these videos because it's very stressful.

Lately, I've been dressing for revenge.

So you know when a new shirt just becomes your go-to?

That is what happened to me when I picked up a few new pieces from Quince.

They are my everyday shirts.

If you see me in a button-down, it's almost certainly a Quince button-down because they're the first things I reach for in my closet.

Lightweight, comfortable, and always on point.

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And by working directly with top artisans to cut out the middlemen, Quince gives you luxury pieces without crazy markup.

So, elevate your closet with Quince.

Go to quince.com/slash dear hank for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com/slash slash dear hank to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com/slash dear hank.

All right, Hank, let's answer one more question before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

John, this next question comes from Nicole, who asks, Dear Hank John, I recently started my first full-time job after graduating from college.

I've also moved into a house by myself.

Recently, I've been finding myself very busy keeping up with all my relationships with like old school friends and new work friends and family.

I've managed to assemble a large group of people that I care about.

Between these various groups, I have a lot of weekly activities, board game nights, TV nights, etc.

I often have four to six activities a week and I'm struggling to keep up with my chores and personal hobbies.

How do I make more time for myself without sacrificing my relationships?

Adult woman, Nicole.

I mean, first off, Nicole,

just applause.

Way to battle the disease of loneliness in the most aggressive way possible.

Yes, you're doing it.

We should all have board game nights.

We should all have trivia nights.

We should all have TV nights.

I need all of that stuff in my life.

And right now, I don't have any of it.

So you're doing a great job where I'm falling short.

I think that the way to make more time for yourself is probably to make some you nights, some Nicole nights, some adult woman Nicole nights, where it's like it's time for adult woman Nicole to have adult woman Nicole time and watch,

I'm going to imagine like

1970s crime movies.

Sure.

Like Three Days of the Condor.

That's what I was thinking of.

Oh, yeah.

Three Days of the Condor.

I've never heard of that.

It's really Robert Redford.

Could be just watching old murder she wrotes.

Or

maybe Angela Lansberry.

Maybe, maybe you do Tiny Lego.

Maybe.

You know what I've been doing lately is I'm watching this show

Foil's War.

It was recommended to me by my mentor, Bill Ott, just before he died.

And they got like 500 seasons of it.

It's like Murder She Wrote.

Like,

this was an institution in Britain for like 70 years or something.

Foyle has been, it's the hundred years Foyle's War.

I mean, Foyle, here's how long Foyle is at war for.

Foyle goes to war.

He's like a detective who doesn't go to war, actually, because he's too old when World War II starts, but he's still trying to like solve crimes in Britain because there's still crimes happening, you know?

And his son goes to war.

But yeah, so here's how long Foyle's war lasts.

Foyle's war starts in like 1939 or whatever when Foyle's war starts.

Uh-huh.

Man,

Foyle's War is like still going on.

Oh, it's not happening now?

Oh, no, I think they stopped it.

I think the guy died.

It's the same guy the whole time?

Yeah, Foyle.

But it's not the same character.

It's not like the doctor where he comes back.

No, no, no.

It's Michael Kitchen the whole time.

Michael Kitchen.

I guess they,

now that I'm looking, it's not quite as dramatic as I thought.

It ends in 1947.

But still, I mean, that's

well after Foyle's war.

So you're saying it started in 1939 and went to 1947.

Started in 1940 and went to 1947 now that I'm looking at it.

Which is like a pretty long time for a TV show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They started filming it in 2002 and they made it until 2015.

That's a long run for a TV show

in the 21st century.

Also, every episode is like a movie.

They're like two hours long, each one.

And they're, I mean,

considering that there's a war on and there's murder in every episode, the stakes are so low,

so deliciously low.

You could be, you could be watching Foyle's War, Nicole, but you could also, in these free moments, where you say, like, instead of doing like a game night once a week, maybe you'll do a game night once every two weeks.

And in these moments that you have free, you can secretly learn to play the fiddle.

And then

two years from now, you'll just be like,

like have a week where every game night you go to, you're like, oh, why did you bring that weird case?

Oh, that's my fiddle.

You play fiddle?

I love playing me some more fiddle.

That's the plucking parts.

And then

man, when you hear a trumpet for the first time, your mind is going to be blown.

Look, okay.

That was my first try.

No, you did great.

You did great.

I'm not criticizing it at all.

Listen, it's way better than my Danish accent.

That's for damn sure.

All right.

Dane.

Lego headquarters, fingers crossed.

For a moment, I was going to say.

Dane Mark.

Isn't it weird?

Nailed it.

Yeah.

Isn't it weird that there are some people named Dane?

It'd be like if someone was named German, but like lots of people are, in fact, people are named German.

Yeah.

There's people named all kinds of place names.

Hey, so

let me tell you the news from AFC Wimbledon.

Okay.

There's six games left in the season, and we're definitely not going to get relegated.

If you'd told me that at the beginning of the season, I would have taken it in a second.

The whole joy of not having to worry about like

the

collapse, the crisis, the destruction, all that stuff that would happen if we got relegated.

That

is a massive relief every year.

But

we're on the edge of the playoffs.

We're one point out of the playoffs right now with six games to go.

Now, there are a lot of other teams that are sort of in the hunt with us.

I would say that there's one playoff spot realistically available, and there's four or five teams who could get that spot.

According to the bookies, we have about a 30% chance of having a 25% chance of getting promoted.

Like we have a 30% chance of making the playoffs, and then you have a 25% chance of winning the playoffs.

We got six games to go.

Five of those games are quite winnable.

There's just the problem that we don't know how to score goals without Ali Alhamedi.

Sometimes it happens, but.

It does.

It happens, but it almost happens like you're like, oh, right.

Yeah.

And we have no chance of doing that again.

It's just like, even when it happens, you're like, well, we're not going to be able to repeat that one.

That one is weird.

That's not a thing that we did on purpose.

You got into a situation and we capitalized it.

I didn't follow the situation.

Like when we beat the franchise, like one of our center backs was inexplicably playing left wing.

And when asked after the game, why were you there?

He was like, I don't know.

I don't know how that happened, but I'm glad that I was.

That's why I love hockey.

Hockey, like maybe 50% of goals are like that, where

it was really.

Yeah, the defenseman is just like, like oh i guess i'm still still moving like some puck did something and it was like oh i have the puck here okay goal yeah so shoot got a goal yeah uh well all of our you if you like that you'd love afc wimbledon in the second half of the 2023 2024 season because all our goals are like that so up next we've got um Separated by just three days, we play Harrogate Town, very winnable game.

And then we play Stockport, which is our least winnable game out of the last six.

If we can get four points from those games, like one draw, one win, I feel really good about our chances of making the playoffs.

And if we make the playoffs, Hank, you're coming.

Oh, boy.

I know you don't.

Don't put me in a situation where I'm rooting against AFC Wimbledon.

You think you're busy.

I have a movie coming out, and I'm going.

I've got a newsletter coming out.

Oh, I know.

And you hired somebody to work on it.

Listen, I'm not saying that we're not busy.

I'm just saying that you're going.

There's a difference.

You're going to love it.

You know what?

We're going to be there and you're going to say to yourself, I cannot believe that for so, like, like, as you will, when we go to RACS next week, you're going to say, I cannot believe I denied myself this joy for so long.

Yeah.

There was supposed to be like a

cool government person to come to my office and do an interview for Vogue Brothers this week.

Sure,

a member of the cabinet who got distracted by, I think it's safe to say, a bigger issue.

A significantly bigger deal.

And so, like, it is always good to

have these quick interfaces with people for whom the pressures are indeed much higher.

Much higher.

So, look, you're right.

I can do whatever.

Yeah.

You know?

You can.

And in fact, you will.

And you will bring Oren.

And I will bring one or both of my children.

And when we win, you will take the children back to the hotel so that daddy daddy can party

what what i don't like is that the the franchise as you call them yeah is definitely going to be in the playoffs probably anyway well i i think at this point it would be a victory for them to make the playoffs because it would mean they didn't get automatically promoted um and and it's ryan reynolds team wrexham that's keeping them out of automatic promotion right now so ryan reynolds and i are closely wow uh closely aligned on this issue yeah

well good.

Exciting times in league two.

Wrexham is not number one in the league, though.

So finally they are meeting some resistance.

Yeah, they have a lot of the same players they had last year.

Oh, interesting.

John, in Mars News, there's a crater on Mars,

which is not a surprise.

It's called Corinto, and it is in the Elysium Planicia.

And it's about 8.7 miles in diameter.

Now, none of that stuff's interesting, but would you believe that this crater

has created the impact that created it created also 2 billion secondary craters?

2 billion with a B?

With a B.

How?

Because the thing hit the...

planet and then it tossed up all these rocks and then those rocks went very high up and they all came down and made more craters.

Wow.

Yeah.

That is.

So they were able to actually catalog the secondary craters that radiated out.

I mean, they didn't count them by hand, did they?

No, no, no.

Oh, good.

They used some AI or some math or something.

Yeah.

Great.

That's good news.

I mean, that's just a reminder that space is, and this speaks to another project that I'm working on.

Like, we are way overcommitted right now.

But it's just a reminder to me that space is

freaking weird and fascinating and happens on scales that

blow my mind, both big and small.

The other weird thing about this crater, John, is that it is only 2.3 million years old.

Oh.

So it's like, I don't know if you can compare it to the one that took out the dinosaurs, but like, thanks, Mars, for grabbing that one so that we didn't have to have it.

Yeah.

God.

That's recent.

That's like very recent.

Yeah, that's like our territory.

Yeah.

Well, like there were like that could that, if that had hit Earth, it would have changed how humans happened, probably.

And potentially weather.

Yeah.

I'm just glad I'm here.

It does, it does feel like a tremendous coincidence, but then according to the astrophysicists, it's also the only thing that could have happened.

That's fine.

Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine that there's no free will.

It's fine.

It's no big deal.

Yeah, there's this book that's like that that just came out that everybody's telling me to read about how to like, how to like live a, live a good life while also recognizing that there is no free will.

And I'm like,

fine.

I don't have to look at that.

I'm good.

I'm good.

I, I feel like I'm already up to that.

Yeah, I'm, I can't even look at a, like, a partial solar eclipse without glasses.

I, I can't, I can't, I definitely can't look at like the reality that I don't have free will.

I was going to burn my corneas right off.

Oh, I love that we got there, Hank.

Thank you for podding with me.

Thanks to everybody for listening.

You can email us your questions at hankandjohn at gmail.com.

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tunamedic.

It's produced by Rosiana Halls-Rojas.

Our communications coordinator is Brooke Shotwell.

Our editorial assistant is Dubochi Chakravarti.

The music you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast is by the Great Guardarola.

And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.