Tier of the Kingdom: Gimmick Peripherals

This is a head gun podcast.

All right, look, Mad Cats team.

We need a new controller that's really going to shake up the marketplace.

You know, as software is increasingly gotten digital, hardware is where the money's at.

So,

what can we do?

A new way to control something so something unprecedented a new input device for gaming i do think obviously the

the nintendo power glove is flawed but i do think that it's a concept worth revisiting with um buttons on each individual fingers i think if there's buttons at the tips of each finger we could uh really um just capitalize on full motion with the hand

yeah would perhaps have some you know possibilities for vr as well VR functionality.

Yeah, too.

That's a good thought starter.

I don't know if I'm in the right room, but

I heard you guys talking and I thought I had an idea.

Hi, I'm Dougette.

Hi, Dougette.

Hi, Dougette.

I work in

the

cafeteria downstairs.

The cafeteria for everyone to eat in.

Anyway, so I got this idea for a new kind of controller.

That's like, what, you know, like the part of your butt that you like to touch.

So I think that that is a really good texture for like a pliable controller.

Like, a pliable controller.

Uh, because you can, like, it's an analog device, so you can kind of shift it around.

You can push it really hard, it'll go fast, you can pull it a little bit and it'll slow down.

I just, I don't know, I don't know what else, like, what other kind of

metaphor to use for this controller that I am envisioning.

Like, kind of like if you imagine a a sunny side egg, but only the yellow part, but but very big and firmer.

So it's easier to describe it as a butt.

Anyway, that's my first idea.

Do we go again right away if we have another one?

I mean, look, I'll say, first of all, it sounds a little out there, but there was, of course, the infamous Boonga Boonga arcade cabinet in Japan, which was a concho simulator, which actually had a butt and a...

finger controller that you would use to poke it.

So that's a real thing that exists.

So, you know what?

I would just sort of say we can blue sky it here.

We can have the idea of

a crackless ass.

I have a time in my entire employment history that I have pitched something that already exists, and I am very sorry.

Not a reason to feel bad.

You said you had another idea, so I think

why don't we hear it?

A hot, wet sweater.

You put it on, and

as it has it,

what do you seem upset by this?

It just hot and wet

is tough.

I don't know if I want to be

shooting electricity through a wet garment.

No.

I would just worry about possibly some liability from that.

I also just logistically, I don't know how we're keeping something wet that we're shipping to consumers.

Are you saying that the consumer would wet it in their own home?

No, it's in one.

You've never bought anything wet from the grocery store?

I'm going to toss this one out.

I'm tossing this one out, but I am throwing back to you because I know you have another one.

No giggle.

Yeah.

You're familiar with

like a vacuum?

Yeah,

I know what a vacuum is.

Okay, so or a trombone.

Better idea.

Sure.

Trombone.

You know, extend and you pull it back and you have like sort of an analog degree of like control over the instrument itself because of the fluctuating pathway of a trombone.

Yeah, Trombone Hero kind of a meme hit last year.

Oh, wow, that's great.

So imagine a vacuum that you put your tongue in, and then you can, depending on how far you let your tongue into it it's like an analog controller for a specific kind of interactive experience i'm imagining like on a dating sim uh-huh or uh if you are you know differently abled and you need a gas pedal in a racing car you would use your tongue yeah why not

I was just gonna say it.

I think you're more pitching just like sex toys.

Like that just sounds like generally what you're pitching here.

What?

It's like something someone would use for like you know

if you want to hear a sex story I could pitch you a sex story.

You know what?

I'm gonna have to ask you to

All right, I'll go have a good one bye Dugette

You know, I don't toss the word genius around often

But Duget's a genius.

I'm gonna ask Duguette to marry me

We annoy our downstairs neighbors with dance pad stomping and wield a plastic chainsaw as we make our gimmick peripheral tier list this week on Get Played.

Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between.

It's time to get played.

I'm your host, Heather Anne Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger.

That's me, Nick Weiger, along with our third host, Matt Apodaka.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Premiere Video Game Podcast, where this week we are talking about gimmicks and games.

Wow.

It's the gimmicks

that we remember, the gimmicks that we've forgotten.

It's some controllers, it's some peripherals, it's some concepts that probably didn't sell very very well.

And we're going to be talking about all of them on this week's episode.

Yeah, the body of this episode, I think we're just thinking about the

specific weird hardware

that some of it worked really well.

Some of it, like Heather was saying, came and went and didn't make much of an impact, or is only remember for how bizarre it is.

But either way, they were

all trying something, which I think is what I like about these, is that someone was like, fuck it, let's try something.

Yes.

Yeah, they're all, at the very least, interesting.

Yes.

A shocking number of these were not created by Hideo Kojima.

And I expected to see his name on the list hundreds of times as the man who tried to, if I remember correctly, make a disc smell like blood while you were playing a game or

have a cartridge on the underside of a video game console that was reactive to sunlight.

Yes, although you do run into some Kojima stuff with just like how you're using existing control methods.

For instance, the Psycho Mantis fight is the infamous example.

I had to read your mind and you got to switch controller inputs.

Or shaking the,

not shaking, rocking the PS4 controller to soothe BB.

The baby.

We wouldn't be shaking that.

No, no.

Don't want you.

Don't shake a baby.

Don't shake BB.

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We should talk about some video games we're playing because this is a video game podcast.

The question is, what are you playing?

What are you playing?

Hello, it's me, the Resident Evil Merchant, and I'm here to ask you the question of the week.

What are you playing?

Resident Evil Merchant, you know, we're talking about infamously weird controllers this week.

I'm being addressed.

Your property.

This makes me uncomfortable.

Well, I'm sorry.

I mean, do you want me to

just talk about you while you're here?

I thought it would be okay to just talk directly to you.

If Nick Weiger is making you uncomfortable,

that scares me.

I just, I feel like, you know, very rarely am I asked a question on the podcast itself.

But here I am.

I'll take a seat, make myself comfortable.

What was the question?

Well, we didn't say to take a seat, but that's why.

And I'm seated.

Here's my question for you.

We're talking about infamously weird controllers.

The Resident Evil franchise has some entries in the peripheral space, one of which is the chainsaw controller.

Excellent choice.

Excellent choice because that controller actually came out for my game, Resident Evil 4.

That's right.

Now, would you say, perhaps, let's say you were

perusing the shelves of

a video game store.

You saw that on a shelf.

Yeah.

Would you say, I'd buy that for a high price?

Yeah, I would.

I would, especially now, because they are going for a high price.

Yeah.

Just completely just got nothing.

They weren't even listening to that base.

It just like went right over.

Because it was just like, that's just what they would say.

Yeah.

No, I wouldn't have reaction.

What are you saying?

I thought they were not saying that.

No, I just thought they'd be like, have you like a recognition?

It's like, aha, that's my thing.

You got, you know.

What thing?

Well, like, if someone, I'd buy that for a high price.

Yeah.

Like, if I saw Matt and was like, hey, Matt, hello, everyone.

I think you might be kind of be like, oh, that's what there you go.

All right.

You think my talking is a catchphrase?

What words?

I think it's been quotable.

Would I be like a fucking Pokemon to you guys?

You're not a Pokemon,

but you are very quotable.

I think you are people

make super cuts of all of your dialogue.

Oh, they do?

Yeah, for sure.

You ever see some of those YouTube videos?

There's fan cams?

Should I be on OnlyFans?

I would not jump to OnlyFans.

OnlyFans.

I mean, no shame in that line of work, obviously, but I don't know if that's going to be your audience.

I do want to see desperately a Resident Evil 4 merchant fan cam.

I need it.

I need to see it.

I'm surprised it doesn't exist.

Something that might interest you.

I buy that for a high race.

I'm trying to do it like you guys.

You're stranger.

What are you buying?

That's good.

That's good.

It would say maybe I'm selling something.

What?

Maybe I'm not buying something.

Perhaps I'm selling something.

What are you selling?

Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

What?

What?

Oh, see, you again, you think what I do is catch phrase.

It is, but it is.

Catch phrase.

It is.

They should lean into it.

That's part of the fun.

If I learn anything from doing this show, it's that talking is catchphrase.

Do you go into a McDonald's and shout at the worker?

Hey, say it.

Say the thing.

Do you want fries with that?

Do you like harassment?

You had me at go into McDonald's and shout at the worker.

All right.

Fair enough.

I go into McDonald's.

They shout at me.

Are we?

Am I.

Is this the episode where I hang out the entire time?

No, this is not that episode.

And also, I don't think that's an episode.

What is?

The episode where you hang out the entire time.

I do think that you don't think that's going to happen.

I'm just going to say, like, I don't think that necessarily has to be an episode.

You know, just speaking for myself.

Okay.

Well, I think it could happen, and I'm really excited for when it does.

Unfortunately, I have somewhere to breathe.

I'm a little relieved.

I got a reservation at Little Doms.

Are you

a nice restaurant over here in Los Angeles?

A lot of fun.

Having lunch with John Hamm or something?

I'm supposed to hang out there.

Yeah, me and John.

No, I wish.

I do see that guy there sometimes.

He loves to be there.

I stand across the street and point at him.

He probably does not like a guy in a trench coat who's seven feet tall pointing at him from across the street.

I think he'd be probably be a little unnerved as a celebrity.

He's a nice man.

I'm sure you could say hi to him.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll tell him you said that it was okay.

I don't know if you'd go that far.

I don't certainly think that every person should go up to him and say hi, but you're also famous is what I'm saying.

Like you're a fellow famous person.

I think it's about like, hey, we're sort of, you know, we've maybe met on the line.

I'm going to say it's about myself today.

I've got catchphrases.

I'm famous.

You're totally, you're absolutely famous.

Maybe some of the attention you're getting in public isn't just from your wardrobe and from your mannerisms, but from people actually

recognizing you and appreciating your contribution to gaming culture.

I want to say that I've not been emotional very many times on this podcast, but right now is one of those times.

If I'm famous,

you guys are the presidents of the United States.

You're supreme fame.

That's not the compliment you think it it is.

Those guys aren't good.

All right, well, I gotta get to that table.

They've got meatballs there that I love,

and I want to know

what it what.

Just weird to think about you eating like a normal meal.

I mean,

they don't let me sit.

I got red.

Well, okay.

This,

I mean, all right.

What are you playing?

Thanks, Resident Evil Merchant.

And

come back anytime, stranger.

Sounds good.

That sounds like me.

Is that a recording?

No, he was doing you.

He was doing his being you.

He was an incredible impression.

Well, you know, I'm sort of,

I sort of just do impressions.

It's kind of nice that we have someone in here who can do a really good Resident Evil Merchant impression, but it's really handy.

Should you not be able to make it sometime?

We got Matt right here.

I think I could do it.

We could do like a Between Two Ferns thing where like it's just Resident Evil Merchant on the Resident Evil Merchant.

I don't think you understand what the show is.

Because that's not what it is.

Is that a guy interviewing another guy?

He's not Zach Alfenakis sitting across from somebody that he's acting like.

Well, those are two different guys.

Oh, no.

Wow.

I do not understand the concept of that show.

Are those the same guy every time?

It's hard for me to tell people apart.

That's okay.

That's an issue.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

All right.

Matt, what are you playing?

All right.

So, look,

I've spoken about this on Get Animate a little bit, where

I've been watching X-Men 97.

The X-Men are back in my life in a big way.

I love to hear it.

I love the X-Men so much.

I've been reading some X-Men comics.

I solicited some recommendations recently on my Instagram.

And thank you to everybody that responded to that.

Lots of good recs for me.

All this to say, I've been missing

the games X-Men Legends and X-Men Legends 2.

And if you don't know what those are, those are action RPGs that are sort of like...

They were the precursor to the Marvel Ultimate Alliance games where you had like a party of four that you could swap in between and kind of just go around doing superhero stuff.

And they all had unique abilities

to their superheroes and stuff.

Really, really fun games.

Fun, just like just like beat-em-ups.

Fun beat-em-ems.

Not exactly beat-em-ups, but kind of like that.

Yes.

But there is an RPG army where you can add stats

and stuff like that.

Interesting stories.

And

I got X-Men Legends running very, very smoothly on my Steam Deck.

And it looks...

fantastic on there.

Cool.

It's really, really good.

And

I have it on PlayStation 2, but have like the I don't have a way to set up my PlayStation 2

currently.

Like I don't have my TV doesn't have the

red, yellow, and white.

You need a retro tink.

I need a retro tink, it sounds like.

You're gonna tell me what that is.

I think it's a it's a thing that upscales old video game systems

for modern

screens.

Yes.

And then also can add scan lines.

Okay.

Because, you know, I did try to hook it up

in the past on an older TV I had that did have the things, and I was still like,

This is, this looks, there was a time where

that generation of games looked bad to me to a way I couldn't play it.

Yeah, and I think maybe because I've played older games in the last like few years, that putting it on, I was like, this doesn't look, this doesn't look half bad.

This looks pretty good, actually.

Yeah, because it has

cell-shaded animation, too.

So it looks, it has a look.

It has like a specific art style.

So I think it holds up pretty nicely.

And I just like popping around and just being the different X-Men.

Um, so I was playing that a little bit, but I'm still, I just got to chapter 10 in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth going very, very slowly in this game, but completing every side quest along the way

and having a fucking blast.

Just really, really loving it.

Um, I got to the part where we meet Sid, and I was so happy to see Sid.

Yeah.

I love Sid so much.

Yeah.

And just to see him

was very, very exciting.

And

I'm excited to press on and

to continue my journey in there.

But that's it for me.

What do you make of the recent story, I think in Forbes, that says that Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is significantly underselling?

on expectation.

It does baffle me a little bit because...

I think we talked about it.

We may have talked about this a little bit, and maybe not this exact story.

Well, because a similar thing happened with Final Fantasy 16.

They said that that game underperformed, but it did sell millions of copies.

Yeah.

So I think

if they think it's underperforming,

it must be by their own metric.

Like, because they're like, they're expecting it to sell this much, but in reality, like, these games are exclusive to the console that they're on.

Right.

You can never really trust a corporation's forecasting because there's all sorts of reasons they might like distort the numbers or have outsize expectations.

And I don't think we're in danger of them not completing the trilogy.

That would be insane.

But more so than like of that

and

just to talk about that, that story, it seems like...

There's a pretty intuitive explanation, which is that you kind of have to play through remake to play rebirth.

Yes.

And not everyone who played through remake or who got got who bought remake finished remake.

And so they may be like, Well, like I'm not going to go on to rebirth, I haven't finished the first one.

They will always, those will always be sold on a Half-Life of some kind.

Like, they're not every, there's not gonna be one-to-one sales, it just won't.

But I think, I don't know, like, I think people should buy it.

I think it's good.

I would be surprised if, because I would imagine that the final one in the trilogy either comes out at the end of the PS5's life or the beginning of the PS6, right?

Yeah, so there has to be on the PS6

a three-disc package that is the entire fucking thing.

Yes.

And I feel like that will be an incredible bump of sales because who wouldn't want to be like, I'm going to play Final Fantasy VII from start to finish in like a 300-hour game.

Yes.

I wish I shared your optimism that the PS6 would have a disk drive.

I think it's going to be all digital.

That's interesting to think about.

And I also don't even want to.

I can't even conceive

of the PlayStation 6 yet because

I know we're like how many years in?

We're like four years into the cycle of PlayStation 5.

Yeah, this will be a burnout for 10 years.

I mean, you think so?

I think they're going to try to stretch it out.

Yeah.

Because, yeah, because nobody could really even get their hands on one until like two years ago.

And then

I'm just not ready for it to...

be like another six-year thing where it's just kind of done.

No,

I think it'll be 2030 before we see a PS4.

Because they're still making PS4s.

Yeah, and

they'll do some hardware revisions, you know.

Yeah.

The pro.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I wanted to, because you mentioned X-Men,

the X-Men games.

And since we're talking about gimmick controllers and since we're talking about Kojima breaking the fourth wall, this was a natural place to talk about the X-Men Sega Genesis Sega Mega Drive game.

Heather, do you remember this game?

It was just called X-Men.

I think they released another one.

And

the thing in X-Men for Genesis is that there is a boss fight that has a computer that you have to destroy.

And then you get a prompt to reset the computer.

And the way you reset the computer is by pressing the reset button on your console.

And so many kids, and I mean, not just kids, any gamers just had no idea

that was the actual solution.

And it's kind of like one of those shocking things.

It was one of the earlier examples of just actually using the hardware in a different way uh to solve a puzzle in game um but uh it's i don't know i i think it's kind of awesome and then also kind of cruel at once because because if you're normally playing one of those consoles 16-bit or earlier um pressing the reset button on with a lot of games that don't have any sort of save mechanism is just like your session is over you're just starting it from scratch uh and so

i don't know but it's kind of cool that it exists the uh the second game it uh the sequel to that X-Men game is called X-Men 2 Clone Wars.

Very cool.

Nice.

Very fun.

But yeah, that's it for me.

Who wants to go next?

I'll go.

Okay.

I've got a brief update.

Still playing dogma.

Still loving dogma.

Wow.

Like, sit down, have a little dogma.

I'm going to tell you, I haven't talked about it here on the show.

The

cooking of food, full motion video, like Blu-ray quality, like footage of just like meat on an actual fire.

Never not funny when you see it.

Wow.

It is so jarring and weird.

It makes a per it's a perfect home inside of a weird game where I am now, I think, partied with Kratos,

who is a berserker, because I'm switching my,

I, I, you know, you, you max out a level on a, on a job and you can go to a different level.

And I saw that Thief had more mobility and I love mobility in a video game.

So,

but yeah, it's,

I don't know, it's a really pleasant game that I wish I had more time to play.

I also picked up

because I went camping last weekend and I brought my analog pocket.

So I played a little bit of Chrono Trigger,

which is, I think, my go-to cozy game.

Hell yeah.

Nice to...

to

you know, floop around in Chrono Trigger.

And then on the Fortnite front,

I, as of the recording, hit diamond two in ranked mode.

So I only have four more ranks left to get.

Diamond one, and then the final three ranks, which are not, it's like elite, unreal.

I don't remember them.

I don't think there is a world in which I can get to the top rank because I think that that rank is going to be exclusively PC players.

Sure.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

But I haven't ever just sat down and like tried to rank up in Fortnite, and it is making me such a better player.

Better ox.

It's making me have to adapt to a lot of different weapon styles.

They're doing Avatar the Last Airbender tie-in right now.

So there are Earthbenders, Airbenders, Firebenders, and Waterbenders with all of their

exclusive powers.

And that's a super fun time.

Yeah.

Fortnite remains lit, but dogma is my daily game.

I just have to voice that I was disappointed

when it wasn't Avatar, period.

Uh, and then uh, I wanted to see a Navi running around.

Well, that's been leaked.

Is it happening?

Yeah, it's gonna happen.

I thought you were gonna say I was disappointed when I found out it wasn't Bender from Futurama.

Honestly, who actually might be in a family?

I think he is.

He is.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Bat Rocks.

Let's get it.

Bite my shiny metal ass.

No scope.

I wasn't attempting to do an impression.

I just wanted to, I wasn't, I know that I can't do it.

Yeah,

John DiMaggio.

He knows that he can't do it.

He can do the Resident Evil Merchant, but

I know

I can't be Bender, but I met John DiMaggio before, absolute prince.

I mean, he seems like he

fucking champ.

I'm hoping that the Navi tie-in.

like the power that you unlock because I'm hoping it's not just a straight skin because that would be like

it would be like okay you know whatever i'm hoping the navy power makes you as big as a navi and gives you like super speed and super jumping oh yeah because that would be awesome that'd be really really good and you should be able to uh plug in your ponytail into um

anything anything

but i mean like if you if you became a bigger target but had better mobility and better jumping i think that that would be a great fortnite-esque trade-off yes that would be a great i I really hope they do it.

But there has been an Avatar leak, so it is coming.

And then you can have the James Cameron trifecta or quadfecta on your squad.

You can have the Terminator, you can have the Navi, you can have Ripley from Aliens.

And you just need one more, right?

I don't think he's got another one in there.

When are we going to get Ed Harris from The Abyss?

I watched The Abyss again recently and was stunned at how many movies it is.

I'm never sure.

It's great, but also feels like several movies.

I like The Abyss a lot.

I heard they did a recent re-release.

I don't know if that's the one you watched, but I heard they like kind of fucked up that

the presentation and it maybe has some like

I just heard it's like a bad release of it.

Yeah, there's a lot of like AI smoothing on all of the Cameron releases right now and I'm really bummed out about it, but there's always the 2K Blu-rays that look fantastic.

He loves technology too much.

He does not mess with it.

He does.

You see that shit with like, and this is the George Lucas problem, too.

Just like, why did you tweak this sign in American Graffiti?

You never had to touch this movie.

You didn't have to go in and do some, you know, CG touch-up for a background for something you shot practically in the 70s or whatever.

Yeah.

Nick, what are you playing?

Heather, your

advocacy for Dragon's Dogma 2 and as well as the Discord talking about Dragon's Dogma 2 2 had me really thinking about playing Dragon's Dogma 2.

And I was sitting there

thinking of committing to this game.

And I reinstalled Elden Ring.

A wider fake out.

I'm playing on PC instead of PS5 now.

Wow.

I'm starting a new character wigs.

I am going for a strength build as opposed to a faith build.

I'm playing as a vagabond.

And part of why, a big part of why I did this is because of the looming DLC.

And I was like, I'm going to finish this motherfucker before the DLC hits.

Although I have 100 plus hours invested in this other character, I just know myself and I know how I play big games and how I approach things.

I don't mind replaying a lot of this because it's also, it's an awesome game.

So I'm just going to start a new character, go in a different direction, and I'm going to have more vim and vigor for this playthrough if I'm starting fresh.

And

it's one of the games of lifetime.

It's fucking, it's fucking awesome.

And I'm really just excited to revisit all this and

have some, be starting early enough where I can put some, put

a lot of hours in before the DLC drops.

I was going to offer,

I guess I was going to offer on your behalf too, Heather, our services should you need a squad, but I don't believe it's cross-play.

There's, I don't think there's cross-platform support.

Oh, that's heartbreaking.

I would love to help you as my, and I recently, because I was doing like a little project where I had to go back through a ton of photos and I found clips from my Elden Ring time.

And I was like, man, my character was ugly,

ugly, toilet-armored piece of shit.

I found clips of like Justin Vading over and over and over again that I'd save to my photo roll.

And boy,

I missed those days.

I'm excited about the DLC.

Yeah, that's the thing.

The Shadow of the Earth Tree, just like being on the horizon, was like, if I'm going to commit myself to playing a big,

you know, create a character,

run around and explore and kill things,

you know, open world sort of game, I think my time is better used

restarting Elden Ring as opposed to playing Dragon's Dogma 2, although I remain intrigued by Dragon's Dogma 2, and I'm glad you're having a lot of fun.

I think they're complimentary games, especially if you set up the controllers to be similar controller vibes.

Right.

I think Dogma 2 would be like playing Elden Ring on super easy mode.

Super easy mode.

What was the game we were...

God,

the game we were playing where it had

the default control.

No, it was Final Fantasy 16.

The default controls in Final Fantasy 16 were insane.

Yeah.

Isn't it like, isn't jump like triangle?

It's so like all over the place, but that was what that was a game when you, if you switched it to souls-like controls, it felt a lot better.

Yeah.

Matt seems upset by this.

There's going to be some Final Fantasy 16 shirts at Uniqlo, and I truly cannot wait to buy them.

I'm glad you like it.

Is it just 16?

No, it's 16, 6, 14,

and 1.

What a weird switch.

Yeah, I looked at all of them.

Yeah.

Games to choose.

Yeah.

14, 6,

16, and 1.

Yeah,

I think those are all the ones

represented in the collection.

I think I understand it, right?

Because it's like, you know, that's that 6 is the

Super Fam Famicom, Super NES game that everyone is like, oh, that's

the best of that era.

Yes.

But no one launches it.

No representation of the PS era or the PS2 era.

That is strange.

And I wonder if there's some weird licensing thing with Final Fantasy X feels

one of those flagship games that

there's always shirts of.

I was always wondering, because when you're talking about the at seven rebirth

not selling as well as remake, I mean, I'm sure there was a huge step down from Final Fantasy X to Final Fantasy X too, but that also was like not a game that had the same sort of scale behind it, right?

So it's interesting.

I don't know because video game sequels oftentimes are

assuming no prior knowledge of

even the franchise going in.

Like it's just like, hey, here's a game you can kind of start from here and take it from there.

I mean, it's

it's so so yeah, it is quite a gambit for rebirth to just sort of like basically require you to finish remake.

I mean, you don't.

The thing is, you kind of don't have to, but you should, because you need to know why these people know each other and what they're doing.

And I think the feeling of like, I should, is, is enough of a barrier.

And I also think that a lot of people who bought Final Fantasy 7 Remake were just

didn't finish it or honestly maybe even just like played it for a few hours and were happy to have it because it reminded them of their childhoods.

Yeah.

So interesting.

I think Cloud's too pretty.

He's too pretty to put on a shirt.

I think he's so pretty that it's hard for people to really feel comfortable playing the game.

I'm pretty comfortable with it.

Yeah, he's so pretty.

Put him in that dress.

His hair looks so good.

Let's not even talk about his hair and his face.

His muscles are great.

His muscles are great.

He's got a good, he's a good-looking body.

Yeah,

I love you, Cloud.

Don't get me started on Tifa.

You know who doesn't love Final Fantasy?

My dog.

Interesting.

My dog, I told this story on the pod before.

I pre-ordered the full-size Torgle puppy before Final Fantasy 16 came out and put that dog down on the ground.

And my dog,

like, I've never seen my dog behave the way that my dog behaved towards Torgle, which is full attack and fear mode, like

body moving slowly, growling, but also freezing in place, and then like backpedaling.

She does not like Torgle.

Okay, so I just Googled, I googled something because I wanted to read the Final Fantasy, the Final Fantasy 16 shirt that features Torgle on it, has the moon and him howling on it, and it says, Escape this fate that we might one day look upon the moon again together.

Really, really good.

But

googling that, I learned that this collection is in celebration of the Pixel Remaster.

Oh, there you go.

One and six being the book hour, yeah, Final Fantasy 14, and which is still ongoing.

And the probably the biggest game of the franchise, yeah, and then their newest entry, Final Fantasy 16.

Wow, there you go.

Makes it a good thing.

I'd love it.

I'd love a Final Fantasy.

And some of the shirts are good, but anyway.

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I eventually got off that roof when the sun rose.

Let's get into Tears of the Kingdom, spelled T-I-E-R-S, for gimmick peripherals.

Now, look, we don't have specific

requirements for this, but for me,

the most important quality to be called a gimmick peripheral is specificity.

So

something, again, like the aforementioned Resident Evil Chainsaw Controller, that seems like a gimmick, but something like the Nintendo Zapper or the Super Nintendo Super Scope or the Namco GunCon, to me, those all fit in the bucket of Light Gun, which is kind of a little bit more of a general category.

Yeah, and then like something like the

Guitar Hero controller, I would include, but for some reason, I wouldn't include the drums for like rock band because that's part of a whole set in the Guitar Huber first.

Sure, I get that.

Yeah, I think the Guitar Hero controller certainly is like the one of that era.

Yes.

That maybe would be highlighted here.

Other rules we should throw out there, or or should we just get into it?

Whatever I say goes.

Okay, good.

I have a rule.

Yeah.

I want to start with this rule.

The Sega activator gets F tier.

What's our lowest tier we got here?

Can we add extra tiers to

the other?

We need an additional tier.

Let's throw in an F tier because I think some of these attempts at motion sensing are just absolutely unusable.

So yeah, probably an F tier or

what I think people like to do now is the RP tier, the role play tier.

What does that mean?

It's basically like it's like, okay, if you're going to pick a really shitty class in an RPG

that's completely, you know, non-feasible for high-level play, but you just want to role play as like a, you know,

a conjurer or whatever the class is, then that would go into an RP tier.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, we can call it F tier.

I would like to open the discussion with the Sega Activator, which was a full-body motion controller for the Sega Genesis, a hexagon that you put on the floor of your house, apartment, basement,

and then punched or kicked in various directions in order to control your on-screen character.

This thing sucked.

It sucked.

It didn't register any movement.

It was both

ahead of its time in terms of what it was attempting to do and then behind the time in what anybody wanted to do with a

what do you Matt's really happy about something?

I don't know what he's happy about.

Matt made a custom tier list here, and he's got a bunch of different thumbnails for like I look-that's like 80 controllers here.

So I don't know if we're gonna get to all of these.

And also, I actually did make a mistake.

I was happy because I had it up as a second display so that I could have my computer on my computer and then the tier list on the display.

But then I realized that I can't see this.

uh so i'm i am gonna convert it back to um

uh

one one screen all right so the sega activator i open the conversation with f tier is a terrible device it is gigantic it takes up an enormous amount of space

oh no

If there's a strange delay in the podcast,

what just happened is that Matt is trying to show us

Matt is trying to show us the tier list on the screen.

For some reason, the television

became active as a TV and showed us a close-up of a small dog eating a drumstick to like the celebratory music of like the end of a Star Wars.

And then it went away.

And I think we're all a a little confused here in studio.

What the fuck was that?

Do you know?

Rocheldi know?

We can turn it back on.

I thought we were going to just have an edit point there, but I guess we're leaving it all in now.

I think maybe there is like a perhaps a live feed

regular TV.

So we're just getting like cheddar TV or whatever the default like thing is of this device.

Yeah, I think it was cheddar TV.

Got it.

That's a real one.

Is it a real one?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think the activator F tier.

And while we're there, this naturally leads into another one, which was not an official Nintendo first party, but it was one for the NES that I believe was made by Broader Bund.

I think

that was the manufacturer.

It was...

$70 in 1989.

So this thing was, you know, over $100, maybe $150 by today's money.

I bet that's a $200 peripheral.

It might have been a $200 peripheral.

It was a lot.

And I'll just read some of this from

a Luke Plunkett Kotaku article from 2011 entitled, Don't Touch This Horror of an NES Controller.

Unlike Sega's rival Activator Peripheral, the U-Force was not a full-body motion-sensing rig.

Instead, it was designed to read only the player's hands and arms, translating their gestures into control pad inputs.

So basically, what it was was like a laptop.

It basically looked like a laptop.

It looks like a game of battleship.

Yes, yeah.

But you would wave your hands in front of it to try to

have it be read as inputs, as motion, like a chop motion left to right or whatever

in the console.

And it just also just did not fucking work and was stupid as shit.

These are the kinds of things that

I have a lot of weird shit in my whole

and

I

like some of these some of these devices I would keep around for like just the collectibility of them.

Yeah.

But the activator and the U-Force suck so much that to have them at all is just taking up space.

Here's how badly the U-Force sucks.

You can buy one on eBay today.

for $24.99.

That's the one retro video game thing that they're like, you know what?

That's fine.

We don't got to upcharge on that one.

I think the activator goes for about $115 on eBay.

If I remember from the last time I looked at activator prices, because, you know, once in a while, here, let's see how close I was.

Let's look up Sega Activator on eBay and see how much they go for on eBay.

About $115, $150.

Hey, there you go.

$115.95 on the Delta.

Wow.

You're getting called down to the showcase showdown, I think.

That's pretty good.

I don't know.

Uh, so anyway, uh, yeah, they they're a little bit more pricey, but no more successful at what they're trying to do.

Uh, okay, I'm realizing if we keep up at this pace, we're gonna be here till 90.

Yeah, I did, we did, I had a list.

Yeah.

When we came into the studio, we doubled the list.

And I'll just tell you right now, there are a possible 39 entries that we simply cannot.

Let's keep going.

Let's let's stay with this era.

The, uh, the, the, the, The power glove has been mentioned, I believe.

And this was certainly of this sort of era.

This was an NES peripheral featured in the film The Wizard.

And this was a,

again, had a similar sort of functionality.

This is a glove that you wear.

Everyone thought it was going to be awesome.

It fucking sucked.

My friend had one.

It was completely unusable.

At best, you could use the D-pad that was mounted on the wrist to kind of play a game, but there's no reason to use a silver default controller.

I'm tempted to say F, but it's so much better than like the U-Force or the Activator.

Here's what I'm getting.

It kind of looks cool.

Yeah, I was going to say aesthetically, it looks cool.

Yeah.

And it looks cooler than a lot of these devices.

I put it up in C then.

Oh, now C?

Jesus.

This is a C.

Jesus.

C is so much higher than I thought you were going to say.

D.

All right, fine.

D's fine.

That was insane.

Yeah.

It doesn't work, but it looks cool.

Might as well be S.

Yeah, S.

S tier.

I would like to single out one of my favorite devices on this list, which is also from the same era.

It's a Game Boy.

It's a Game Boy device.

There was a cartridge that snapped into the Game Boy, and the game it played was a sonar screen.

And the sonar was functioning sonar that you could use as a real-world fishing

peripheral.

So you could bring your Game Boy out on a boat, hold it over the side of it, it was dangerous, hold it over the side of the ship, and you could spot fish underneath your boat.

I think the fact that this thing worked at all makes it a C-tier peripheral, because it's not really a game.

No, but it is a weird peripheral, a gimmick.

It is a weird gimmick that functioned.

I wonder how much those go for.

I'd want to, I want,

I can't, don't.

I shouldn't buy it.

What are you going to do with it?

You're going to get out on a boat and look at fish?

Not.

Oh, God.

Is it.

No, that's.

Bandai Game Boy Fish Finder Pocket Sonar Game.

240 bucks.

Okay.

Pretty attainable still.

Yeah.

On the higher end, but not so bad.

Yeah, not so bad, but not so good.

No.

You'd have to think about it before you bought it.

For sure.

It's not an insta-buy like the U-Force.

Should we just keep blazing ahead?

Should we stay in the era?

I think let's jump forward and let's maybe do some some weird controllers, like things that were physical controllers.

So first up, we got the Dragon Quest slime.

Now, I've actually tried to use this thing a little bit.

It's not crazy uncomfortable, but I would not want to use it for a longer gaming session.

Does it have a texture?

to it or is it like a is it hard plastic my memory is it's hard plastic okay i would want it to be like um

almost like a racquet ball ball like a blue racquet ball yeah like rubbery i don't remember it being like squeezable but i i could be wrong there i do like that it looks like a slime it looks awesome and i like that you know you can it's it's it's at least semi-functional when you flip it over it's also not uncomfortable to use yes it's it's a circle that you hold and you play a video game using the circle it's not great Not terrible.

And I think looks cute on a shelf is a

that goes a long way.

And that makes me think this one is maybe a C tier.

C tier.

I'd go B tier for my slide controller.

All right, but go up to B tier.

Because the S tiers are going to be so good.

I don't know that there is an S tier on our list.

I think there's...

Oh, there's a, I feel, I feel there's an S tier.

But I will say that the, the, yeah, maybe the standard for

what is good here is just so low because a lot of these things are just unusable, but yeah.

Um, but interesting, as we were saying earlier.

Also,

there's also the Wu-Tang controller, which we're looking at, which is shaped like the Wu-Tang W.

Now, I've never used this one.

It looks uncomfortable, but I do like the idea behind it.

Yeah, I...

There's no way that it feels good to hold.

They're too close together.

You know, you're kind of maybe like this, and that doesn't seem like it's that good.

But it's probably not that different.

Then it's maybe the angle I'm thinking of that is a concern.

It's very reminiscent of the control paddles for the Virtual Boy, in that you have a D-pad on one side, and on the Virtual Boy control, you had a D-pad on the other side.

This has four face buttons, but they are shaped directionally.

So it's not quite two D-pads, but it's close enough that it feels adjacent to the Virtual Boy.

This was released

by Activision for Wu-Tang Shaolin style for the PlayStation 1, apparently.

I was looking for some more context on this one, and I just found a Reddit comment from Jin Bummy that says, big baby Jesus Christ, this controller is uncomfortable.

Which makes me think there's maybe a D tier, but it is kind of cool.

I do like the way it looks.

It looks great.

Where do we want to go next?

Okay, so we also have the, I guess we should just knock out the Resident Evil chainsaw controller while we're doing.

Yeah, that's come up a lot.

These kind of misshapen sort of.

miserable to hold that thing.

Yeah, for sure.

Miserable to play a game, but

it's by far the funniest thing on this entire board.

It's super funny.

I love that it exists.

It's really, cannot be stressed enough.

So miserable that when I was holding it to purchase it, I was like, I'm not going to do this and did not buy the Resident Evil chainsaw controller.

My uncle had this and the slime controller.

That rocks.

Wow.

I don't think he used them, but he bought them.

What a Chad.

That rocks.

The PS2 era was a big one for him.

I would say...

D, uncomfortable, but functional.

D, yeah, D's a good spot for it.

What do we want?

What's next?

I think we should also, you know, also

talking about Capcom, weirdly shaping controllers.

Maybe one is a reaction to the other.

I don't know exactly how they were sequenced chronologically, but the Katana controller for Onomusha 3, which the actual controller was on the handle.

So you had this giant blade that was, you know, would have been weighted for the other end of it.

So it's not really usable at all.

But I do like it.

But the buttons were

to the right of the playing area.

It was not a, it was not laid out like a normal PlayStation controller.

So it was also just like a completely different gameplay experience, but it's cool.

And again, you know, as a shelf piece, I think this is maybe also a D tier.

But maybe Resident Evil controller should be a C tier.

I just think the chainsaw is so cool.

It's so hard to hold that fucking thing.

It's so iconic.

The guy is so cool.

The chainsaw guy.

Yeah, but what would you, I mean, one is a sword and one is a chainsaw.

Like, sword is also cool.

Yeah, but I'm not afraid of the sword.

You're afraid of that controller?

No, I'm like, if...

Oh, you're afraid of the guy?

I'm afraid of the guy.

You're not afraid of a sword?

Sword doesn't have blood on it.

Look at the

chainsaw is all bloody.

That's fair.

You know what does have blood on it?

Your hands.

Everyone, just settle down.

Let's get on with the tier list.

There's no blood on my hands.

This is

just ketchup.

I had a fish delight.

There is a YouTube series that features

our former presidents as

as hosts of

tier list breakdowns using AI voices.

And the boys are obsessed with the series.

I mean, it's maybe as good as comedy gets.

Yeah, it's unfortunately.

I don't think AI should replace comedy writers, but this is a strong case.

They're really, really good.

Every single one of these is good.

Hey, these are written by people.

That is true.

The voices are AI, not the voices.

The writing could never.

Okay, so we did the sword.

Okay, did we get okay?

There were a couple weird ass Namco ones of this era.

Okay, so we had the first off, this one I actually owned, the Namco Joy-Con.

Now, I bought this when I

got this.

I imported Ridge Racer Type 4, I believe, which this was bundled with.

And I got it from the import shop and

no game, just the controller.

And my attempt to try to get the game replaced was with a customer service in another country was completely

a fool's errand.

So unfortunately, I just had the JogCon for a time.

The JogCon didn't really work.

The idea was it was like meant to be a better way.

It was like there were

like VCR and DVD remotes that had this functionality where you kind of like turned, you kind of like spun something

to menu through it, to go through menus or whatever, or to rewind or fast forward.

So the idea was here

was for driving purposes.

The thing is, it was just completely inferior to a wheel.

I think this one probably ends up in D tier.

I think there are maybe are some fans of this, but

I don't know.

Along those lines was the Namco Negcon, which was another one which had a, it was like a normal controller, but it had a

spot in the middle where you could turn for like an approximation of motion control.

I'm describing it poorly.

It says here that it would say a lot of mean things about you in order to get you to fall in love with it.

Negcon.

This is okay.

Imagine, here's how I would imagine it.

You've got two mason jars.

Hold on.

No, I think I can do this.

You got two mason jars and you hold them end to end so that the lids touch.

And then,

what?

What made you shift?

You gave me a little bit of like a,

I don't know.

Yeah, kind of that metal on metal sort of like grating thing.

Glass on glass, yeah.

Well, okay.

I don't know what other.

I'm following your analogy.

I'm following it too.

So lid to lid, two mason jars, and you can twist them in opposite directions in order to play a video game.

Put a couple of surface buttons and a d-pad on it, and that's the negcon.

Sucks.

Yeah, I never used the negcon as opposed to the jog con, um, and but it looked like it sucks.

And everything I've read about it is that it was not a fun experience.

Are we putting this in F?

I think it's a D tier because it theoretically functions.

Okay.

F tier is saved for two of the worst things ever made.

If you wanted to just use this as a normal controller for a game, you could.

It has shoulder buttons, it has face buttons, it has a D-pad, you know.

So

I think it's

I want to put

two controllers on the board that are

simultaneously, because I think they're effectively the same controller.

One is the microphone adapter for the Dreamcast controller, and one is the microphone adapter for Heyu Pikachu for the N64.

We played C-Man on this show, and it was startling that it worked.

Yes.

It was delightful that it worked.

It wasn't perfect.

Like this is, you know, 1999 tech, but the Dreamcast microphone functioned

and allowed you to play.

And I think the same is true for Heyu Pikachu.

So I'm going to put these

voice-activated controllers.

I'm going to pitch all the way up at B tier.

I'm going to go back to the NadeCon real quick.

Oh, okay.

Because first of all

uh i i just i was i was looking for a little bit more context or looking for some some first-hand accounts of using this thing um this is from james mckenzie's blog

and uh james writes uh i recently acquired a namco uh apparently it's pronounced uh negikon or or a negi con controller something i've been seeking for a while it's a uni controller that uses a twist mechanic to simulate driving um so there's a bunch of just uh accounts of of playing playing games like, you know, Ridge Racer, Ridge Racer Type 4,

Wipeout, Crash Team Racing.

A lot of racers had support for the NagiCon.

And apparently,

the conclusion that James gets to is, looking back, I really like this controller.

It harks back to an era where there was still experimentation with controller designs.

In some ways, it's better than what we have today.

If you can get one for cheap, it's definitely worth picking up this one-of-a-kind controller.

That to me puts it at least in C tier.

Okay, the idea that someone's like, hey, this is actually pretty fun to use.

All right, let's do it.

All right, great.

Did you agree with my ranking on the mics?

I do.

Yeah, I do.

The mics are good.

Cool.

Yeah, no,

that works at all with C-Man.

And also, just like, it's just an interesting thing they tried.

Should we also, while we're staying in Dreamcast country, should we talk about the VMU?

Which I guess I think qualifies for this.

I don't know.

I like the VMU.

I think it is good.

I think versus the competitors here, it is A tier.

I think it's better than everything else that we've gone through so far.

My issue with the VMU is it never quite lived up to my expectations for it.

I wanted it to be more fun to use on its own.

It was not fun enough on its own.

It's not an S-tier product.

The battery life was abysmal.

Yeah.

But

the most recent VMU

release that I purchased, which was like a third-party redeployment of the VMU with a USB-C charging backlit L C D screen.

I was like, this is the potential of the VMU.

And it feels like an S tier device.

So the fact that it doesn't quite live up to it, A tier.

But if somebody had made that game that worked great with the fucking VMU and you carried that shit to school with you and like would play it like in between passing periods or whatever the fuck you call it when you move from class to class,

Like that would be an awesome thing to have in 1999.

I think the only argument maybe against a tier is like, does this belong on this list?

Is this really a gimmick control?

I guess it is unique enough to the Dreamcast, which itself is such a weird, quirky, you know, anomalous system.

Rochelle, have you ever heard of a VMU?

So for context for any of our listeners who aren't familiar with this, it was the Dreamcast controller had a slot.

A VMU was bundled with it, right?

Yeah, no, with the original Dreamcast?

I feel like it came in box.

It was a separate purchase?

I think it was a separate purchase.

So it was a, it was based, it was a small, like smaller than a,

you know, about half the size of a cell phone, a typical cell phone these days.

This big.

Yeah, device that would slide into a slot in the top of your controller, your Dreamcast controller, which was more like a conventional Xbox or PlayStation controller.

It had a screen on it, and it had its own controls on it.

So you could slide it into the Dreamcast controller, and you could use it as a secondary screen while you were playing games.

Just a very simple, you know, not a lot of pixels, black and white screen, two-color screen.

And then

you could also take it on its own and use it as like kind of a mini gaming handheld.

Yeah, it was a tiny little guy.

That's so small.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very small, but very cool.

Glad they made it.

Glad they tried.

Too bad it bankrupted.

And then they had to stop making things forever.

They shipped the Dreamcast with, I remember, I think it was like 30 feet of phone cable because

every Dreamcast had a modem that came with it.

And it was the sort of thing that was at once like, this is such a big swing, but also just like slightly off because Ethernet and Wi-Fi was like about to completely, you know, take over the dial-up

and make dial-up irrelevant.

Anyway, let's keep going.

Should we do,

I mean,

what are some big ones that we should hit for sure?

The Trance Vibrator for Res on the PlayStation 2/slash Dreamcast was a

non-controlling device that plugged into your second port and vibrated in time with the video game itself.

I want to specify the second port of the PlayStation 2.

Jesus Christ.

I mean, you could plug it into your second port.

It allowed for a tactile

experience of the game's visuals and audio.

Nobody ever

really clarified what it was.

Right.

It is a vibrator.

It's like in the name of the game.

It's a vibrator.

But like, what are, are you supposed to hold it?

No.

Like, because you're holding the controller.

Yeah.

I think, I remember reading, I think you're supposed to have it next to you, right?

I don't know.

Put it in your mouth?

Yeah, this is a risky Google on my work computer.

What was the trans vibrator for in res?

This is a Reddit post.

PSA, do yourself a favor.

Use trans vibrator mode in res infinite.

So this was the trans

vibrator was approximated or was like emulated in res infinite.

You could use the rumble function in your controller

to recreate what it was like.

Have multiple controllers, great.

Have four even better.

Turn all of them on, log them in as guest, and go to options in Res Infinite and turn on Trance Vibrator mode.

Strategically place controllers around you.

I was in a seated possession on my bed with one on my left hip, one on right hip, and one on legs.

Enjoy and let the vibrations pass over you.

So this is for absolute freaks.

I don't know what to do with it,

having no hands-on experience with it.

I I think it's so.

I think it's one of those things where it's look, the name is funny.

It's great that it exists.

I like these things when they're weirder and when they're

trying to do something

that other people haven't thought of.

And I think the idea of like a rhythmic force feedback

that maybe also gets you horny, to me, that's like a, that's like a maybe a C tier, maybe a B tier.

I mean, the thing that we're not talking about is

any of these can make you horny.

That's true, Matt.

Any of them could make horse.

No, that's true.

This one does it on purpose, but.

Right.

Should we do...

What if we just took a slight detour?

Since we're in sort of a rhythm section,

why don't we go to some of these more musical peripherals?

Okay, I love it.

Let's start with...

The Samba de Amigo Maracas.

I'm going to put this in A tier just to leave room in S tier.

I love the Samba de Amigo Maracas.

I think they're so cool.

I think they're so fucking, it's just, they made a Maracas game and they made a home version of it that has controllers that you shake and that position.

They were super fun to use.

One item I wish I still had, but I think that's just like,

it's so dreamcast that they made these.

And the thing about Maracas is that.

I dare to not have fun shaking a Maraca.

They're really, really fun.

Here's the other thing is that they released um a samade amigo game recently for the switch that uses the joy-con

and everyone's like i don't know where's the my fucking remark

i want my maracas and that to me speaks to this make this this peripheral makes this game and from a gimmick gimmicky standpoint i think that puts it into a tier absolutely that's really really good call how about the donkey konga bongos now this is what i think belongs in s tier yeah this is really good the dk bongos are awesome and the reason they belong in S tier is not

the Donkey Konga game.

It is because of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat.

Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, the platformer that you control with

the bongos.

They came up with a second game that is not a rhythm game, and it is a rhythm game of sorts, but it plays differently

and exploits

the gimmick controllers' functionalities

and mechanically in a different way.

I think this is like one of the best of these.

I just, I love this.

I think it belongs best to you.

It's really good, and the fact that they look like the barrels from Donkey Kong is really, really good.

The aesthetic is great.

Yeah, it's a classy

toy-style peripheral that works as intended and worked on multiple games.

Whereas, like, the Maracas, I don't think you can use the Maracas on other games.

I don't think that the Trance Vibrator works on other games.

Yeah, the Maracas are like, I'm sure you can find someone who like, you know, beat Dark Souls with the Maracas.

But that's like, that's not the intended purpose.

But the fact that they got three games, I think the game, I think it was three games out of the DK Bongos is great.

And

let's do, how about we do the Dance Dance Revolution dance pad?

This is frustrating because you wanted it to work better than it did.

Yes.

Because Dance Dance Revolution is so much fun.

I think part of the problem with a Dance Dance floor mat is that it slips.

And more

like aesthetically, you like that the Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade lit up.

Yes.

It was fun to have it light up.

And it's like, you know, it's like...

It's substantial.

It's like you're saying, it's not a pad that's going to slip around

on your hardwood floor.

And there's something about stomping on

a big machine.

Yeah.

Versus stomping on your floor, basically.

For some reason, to me, floor hurts.

Well, the other thing, too, is that that's just like this becomes an apartment issue, or this becomes, you know, like depending on your house situation, like you're bothering your parents' downstairs issue.

Like, just like it's not great for multiple floor dwellings.

When we were doing the old format,

I bought

a Christian Dance Dance Revolution that we never did, and I still have it somewhere.

It's just in my house.

Oh, we should bring it in here.

We should bring it in here.

Yikes.

Yeah.

Anyway, so where do we want to put this?

This is like C, maybe?

Oh, D tier.

D tier.

I don't know.

D tier seems harsh because you can't even use that fucking katana.

Okay, C tier it is.

It's a C tier.

C tier.

It's functional.

The Guitar Hero guitar.

All right.

I think there's a real case for S-tier here.

Yeah, I do too.

You can beat Melania with the Guitar Hero controller, and that kind of rocks.

Well, one can.

I certainly can.

Yeah.

But it's a cool thing that a human being can do.

I think that it's like...

The best human beings among us.

I think, first off, the game plays, at least the original Guitar Heroes play so fucking well with it.

It's fun in the way you want a fake, like cheap mini guitar to be.

I don't know.

I think it completely serves its purpose.

I think there's a case for S tier.

I think it's an easy S tier.

Yeah, I think the fact that Fortnite has a musical rhythm game now built into bass Fortnite,

and they're talking about bringing out

guitar hero style controllers again means that not only was this functional, it's iconic.

I missed the pre-order for the PDP Riffmaster, and

I'm furious.

I'm

so mad.

I was ready to spend $120.

Wow.

And

I'm not able to, but we'll see what happens.

I realize we could probably have just made our lives easier and done a rhythm game controllers list.

There's so many.

So, yeah, there's already so fucking many.

Yeah.

This is the last one.

But also, like, the way the way strumming works, right?

Like, the strumming is really well implemented.

It's a well-designed piece of hardware, and that game and that franchise does not work without the hardware.

And

the thing about it that's great too is that it works in the way you think a guitar works.

Right.

Where it's not a one-to-one simulation, of course, but it functions in the way that you would want it to.

And you feel awesome if you do well.

Yes.

And finally, the DJ

failed a bark at the moon

at 99% on Guitar Hero.

It's fucking

crushing losses ever.

It sounds like a skill issue, unfortunately.

Finally,

in the rhythm section here, the DJ Hero turntable controller.

I have this still.

It is bad.

It works fine.

It is

decently fun to play, but it is nowhere near as good as Guitar, Hero, or Rock Band.

You look like a big loser doing this, unfortunately.

is, whereas, like, you can kind of look like you're having fun playing guitar, you know, rocking out with your friends.

Yep.

You had to buy a second one of these if you wanted to play two-player, and you weren't going to do that.

So, my experience of this was doing this by myself, having it sit on my lap and look like a big loser.

Wow.

This is

one of the most pathetic things that I own.

I'm going to go ahead and put this in the S tier.

Just kidding.

This is a C tier to me.

It works and it's, you know, it's,

I have no nostalgia to bust it out like I do Guitar Hero.

Uh, also, I recuse myself from this because I did work on a game that ended up several iterations later becoming DJ Hero.

Wow.

Um, so this is the company studios at was acquired by Activision, and that was what it got merged with another product and turned into this.

Uh, I do know that that from one of the creators, it was like a true labor of love.

I'm sure.

And it really came from like a passion for like, you know,

I guess DJing is what you would call it.

Yeah.

It really came from that side of like loving, you know, that culture and wanting to create a video game version of it in the same way that the Guitar Hero was.

But yeah, when it actually came out, I had no...

no interest in actually playing it.

Nick's words have moved me.

I'm putting it in the B tier.

And the reason I didn't want to play it is because I was like, oh, yeah, I worked on this weird thing

many years ago and just have a weird relationship with it.

I have a nominee for another S tier item on our list.

Let's hear it.

The We Fit controller.

You mean the balance board?

Yes.

I do like the balance board.

Yeah, fuck it.

Put it in S.

What are we fucking doing?

Put that as an S tier.

This was like the biggest selling, like one of the biggest selling games of its generation was We Fit with Balance Board.

It did exactly what it meant to do.

I did that fucking balance board for more than two years.

Yeah.

Like every fucking day, because I would get guilted by the game if I didn't do it.

But also, it made me slightly more fit.

Like fucking, it worked.

Oh, I realized I didn't upload the ring fit.

Should we add the ring fit in there as well?

Yeah, let's throw a ring fit in there.

Yeah, throw a ring fit in there.

We did ring fit adventure on our podcast, and

it also works

and it exhausts you, surprisingly, given that it is a ring.

My buddy Nick Ross, I remember saying,

Wig, who recently got married, congratulations.

Someone who checks out the show.

That

hello.

He got really into Ring Fit and got into really good shape.

So I think that one does what it's supposed to do.

I would maybe put that in A tier just because it gets

less.

uh it's ultimately less less fun less fun yeah yeah

um all right the the where where do we go next

sky we got skylanders in here i wasn't sure i don't think that's a good pick i think skylanders is good i think it belongs here i think because like there's also i didn't put the lego dimensions one there's a lego one that is very similar to this i but i thought if we're gonna put amiibo in here that skylanders is like the next one.

Is amiibo on here?

I have amiibo on here.

Where do we put amiibo?

I mean I'm putting amiibo in S tier.

Well, I can make a case for A because the stuff that you get from them is not that worth it.

That's the issue.

It's more like

it's more just about that the figures are cool.

The figures look cool.

The actual in-game functionality, I don't think, warrants an S-tier.

When I went to the Nintendo store in New York City,

they had a display of every single amiibo.

And never in my life have I ever wanted to plan a heist.

I wanted to take them all.

I wanted those all to be mine.

They are very, very attractive.

Yeah.

The build

and

quality control on the models themselves.

Like they look like it's, you know, when you get an action figure of like Star Wars or something, and like the eyes are slightly painted in the wrong place.

Yes.

Like none of that ever happens on an amiibo.

And if it does, it just increases the value of it.

Because it's like, oh shit,

I got a Bowser that that has no eyes.

I have a

Han Solo that the head is a little bit chewed because it was mine when I was a little like baby.

Wow.

And I chewed on his little head, which was not safe.

Skylanders, I don't really care about is the thing.

So I can't, I can't, I feel like I can't rate it appropriately.

I think if you are too old for it, we are definitely too old for it.

I thought about getting into it at a certain point.

I was like, I don't think I want to something where I'm going to buy a bunch of $30 figures.

I feel like we should also put another Nintendo first-party controller swing on this, which is the Nintendo Labo,

which is so fucking amazing that it works, but ultimately you feel like you're going to destroy the thing that you've made.

Yes.

Like I built the piano and I was like, holy shit, the piano works.

It's like a little model kit of cardboard that I put together and I can actually play.

Amazing.

Every time I touch a key, I'm like, oh my God, did I break it?

And that is not enjoyable.

Nick's is, if Nick had this, it'd be at risk for getting soggy from getting spilled on.

How dare you?

Soggy cardboard Weiger.

I haven't spilled once this record.

Did we record an episode beforehand?

Don't worry about it.

I think we put this

in A tier because of the

raw creativity and joy of putting the things together, but it is not an S tier device because I like you're afraid of it.

You're talking about the Labo?

Yeah, the Labo.

Do you?

Can I ask you something?

I know you're just talking positively about this.

Yeah.

Do you like it?

C-tier.

Okay, because I was going to say, like, I feel like the thing I hear about it most is that it is interesting, but nobody I know likes it.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're totally right.

Fucking bullseyed me.

I also feel like it's just looking at no scope.

I just had

a, I had an assumption.

I had a theory.

I was, I had a working theory that I wanted to test out.

Nobody I know that has this.

I don't like it and I resent that I have it.

Yeah, you're worried about it.

I hate it.

I hate that I have a drawer that is only Labo and I can't do anything with it because I'm afraid of it.

Is it more D tier then, honestly?

As just sort of kind of like a cool curiosity, which is what seems what D tier has turned into.

But it fucking...

Keep it in C tier.

I trust your judgment.

I do kind of feel like just looking back at this now, I think the Joy-Con is too low.

I'd move the Joy-Con up one too.

Because, again, that's a functional, Jog-Con rather.

Uh, that's a functional controller, the Namco controller with the little disc in the middle.

Okay, um, okay, let's keep going here.

Uh, do we have, hey, speaking of Nintendo, uh, do we have the NES powerpad on this?

It's maybe missing.

Uh, the powerpad is missing.

The powerpad sucks.

I did not like the powerpad.

Did you ever use that, Heather?

I still own my powerpad.

I, I, here's, here's the thing about the power pad.

Um,

it was fun to use once, and also,

uh, I remember kids at school talking about the trick of how you could win track and field by getting on your hands and knees and drumming really quickly on the two

things that you're supposed to be running on.

So like it was like two buttons that you could, you were supposed to be like running in place left and right to when in to run in traffic and field.

Do you think?

Instead, you could drum on them.

Anecdotally, that got back to Nintendo and then it inspired the Donkey Konga bongos.

It's possible.

I mean, I do also think that this was just like a

very kind of one of those those very early Nintendo efforts that, you know, 20, 30 years later becomes the balance board.

I think the power pad is dangerous.

I think it is.

Yeah.

You slip

in place.

It's definitely more slippery than the dance pad.

You can't, you have to wear socks to do it.

Yeah.

Or you'll damage the internals.

So you're wearing socks on a slippery pad on a slippery surface.

Fucking power pad was dangerous.

D tier.

Also needlessly two-sided.

Yeah.

Because one side had,

you know,

what was it?

It was, it was like four by three, right?

It had like 12 buttons.

And the other side just removed the corner buttons.

I was like, why did you do one that has,

you know,

12 pads, another one that has eight pads?

It's just, why would you ever use the eight pad side?

Fishing controller for the Dreamcast.

It looks really cool on Fortune.

It fucking rules.

It's cool.

It rules.

It's cool that this exists.

I think this is an

you could maybe put this some bitch up in A tier.

It's an A tier.

It's an A tier controller because you're like, you enjoy turning it.

I think.

What's the official name for this?

It was like the Bass Pro Fishing.

What the hell is it called?

The Bass Bastard.

The Bass Fishing controller.

It was a Bass Bastard.

There were multiple games it worked with, too.

Yeah.

No, it's good.

This, this is cool.

It might have just been called the Sega Dreamcast Fishing Rod.

Huh.

How about that?

But yes,

there was a bass fishing and then get bass.

There is also the Nintendo 64 Rumble Rod made by Mad Cats.

I didn't use the Rumble Rod.

It's hard to put a Mad Cats anything above D tier.

Yeah.

But man, I like that fishing controller for the Dreamcast.

I think I still have mine.

I feel like Mad Cats has kind of like, for the longest time, they were like, oh, it's the shitty controller.

Like you had

your friends had like, you know,

three regular N64 controllers, one Mad Cats controller, and then one person would get stuck with that one.

But I feel like they've, they've,

am I wrong?

Have they made some decent stuff in recent years?

All my memory cards growing up for like PlayStation and PlayStation 2 were Mad Cats ones because they were all.

Oh, Matt.

You got to go first party with the memory cards.

What are you doing?

They were fine.

They worked fine for me, but it was only...

playing with fire uh they were uh just a little bit cheaper than the the first party no i i understand the the the the reasons economically for going for those but it's just like oh man those those ones look get corrupted i did have a clear green one for the playstation one i'm remembering i remember that being you know like clear was so hype clear was really i did the clear green green or like a dark gray like a green gray kind of situation um i would like to shout out the game boy camera as an A tier device.

Where does the Game Boy printer go?

Fucking D tier.

But it's cool that they made a printer.

Yeah.

I think it's, I think, well, I guess it's basically

bad.

Yeah, but it's funny.

The Game Boy camera is

not only is it a pleasurable device to use, but it's got such a good aesthetic that people still use it, still take photos with it.

Like, there are people still modding the Game Boy camera to work with DSLR lenses.

And

one of the things that I've purchased in the last few years was

basically a memory card that tricked the Game Boy into thinking it was the printer.

So you could print your

photos from a Game Boy onto this memory card and then export them onto a regular computer.

That has become redundant now with the analog pocket, which you can save the Game Boy camera pictures to, but oh,

it's so good.

Do we say C or D for this?

D.

D tier for the printer, A tier for the camera.

Yeah, my only argument for moving the Game Boy printer up to C tier would be that it's funny, which is not a good reason.

So living in D.

For a funny one, how about the Tony Hawk ride skateboard?

I love that it exists.

I love Tony Hawk.

I think everybody that got this said it sucks.

That it is not good.

Nobody likes this.

nobody i think this is uh

this could be in the f probably i think it i've only heard terrible things about the ride controller i have no personal experience with it i'm you know reticent to put it in the f tier but also i have no argument against it no i think it's i i think

I think S tier or F tier is harsh.

Okay.

Those are, those are, we're talking about things that just like don't work.

Then I'll put it in the D tier.

I think probably D tier is the place for this.

Wow.

I mean,

how are we feeling?

I know that maybe we're running close on time.

Let's keep blazing.

We can keep going.

Okay, look, a robotic operating buddy, Rob.

Here's the thing.

It sucked to use.

My friend had it.

Gyromite was basically unplayable.

The other fucking shitty game that they had.

They just, it sucked,

but it looks cool, and it's in Smash Brothers.

I think it's B tier, honestly.

B tier.

It might be B tier.

No, it's C tier.

All right, C tier is fair.

C tier for Rob.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work, but it looks so funny.

It looks so cool and has become like an unofficial Nintendo mascot, which I like.

Yeah.

Good job, Rob.

You did it.

You did it, Rob.

And if you knew anybody who, and I didn't, who had the full NES, like, super, whatever they called the one that came with Rob, it was like, oh my God, those are rich people.

Yeah, it'd be the,

because I remember I had a friend that had that.

It was like the bundle that came with, with Rob, and it came with the nes zapper the light gun yeah and two controllers yeah and like what a packing game like like a packing game that was like three games on one cartridge or whatever my uncle had rob and the zapper wow and the thing that i do have to call out is that he was the third child and sort of a miracle so he was spoiled like as a little kid so he for sure had the rob and i remember him showing me when he was obviously older than me and i was a little kid him showing me rob and me thinking this looks like it sucks.

A little kid not interested in a robot.

I was like, I don't know about this.

Yeah, that's quite an indictment.

Passing the little kid test.

Should we do the GameCube controller that is a keyboard for Phantasy Star Online?

It works.

It's great.

It's funny, too.

It's very funny.

It's a little bit cumbersome,

but

I think it's cool that it exists.

maybe put this in b tier with the dragon quest slime yeah b tier b tier um i want to say oh another one of these peripherals is the sega master system 3d glasses oh sure uh which

i did have as a kid and they gave me nightmares because the game that you played was called missile defense 3d and it was a game where the russians had declared nuclear war on the united states and there were missiles that flew out of your television towards you, and you had to shoot them with the light gun before they detonated in the United States and killed everybody.

So it was an overwhelming three-dimensional experience for a child trying to save humanity,

but they worked.

What?

C-tier.

C-tier.

Um,

this one I've never used, I just know its reputation.

Uh,

the Amiga joyboard.

So, this was made by Amiga, but not for the Amiga computer.

For that hardware was actually made for Atari 2600 and 7800.

It was akin to a Wii Balance board.

And everything I've read is that

there was like one game that supported it.

And it was basically unusable.

I think this is an F tier.

F-tier.

Yeah.

Put it in the F.

But it would be a cool thing to own.

Virtual on controller.

Look, this is so dumb.

This is one of those Dreamcast one thing, those Dreamcast things.

This one, look, I'm just maybe sounding like I'm completely contradicting myself.

Came out for the Dreamcast.

There was exactly, again, exactly one game that supported it, a home port of Virtual On.

But I do think Virtual On is so fun to play in the arcade with those twin sticks.

And even though I didn't play, I didn't use the controller for the Dreamcast, I think it's kind of cool that it exists.

It works.

It's good.

I think B tier.

B tier.

I think Skylanders, I just don't think

is our purview here.

I think maybe let's just take that off of the list.

That's out.

Okay, what else we got?

Oh, we got the Time Crisis pedal.

Now, this was just like a third-party look.

Look, a third-party device that I actually didn't have.

I did have the Namco GunCon.

I like the Time Crisis pedal mechanic.

I don't know how this particular pedal works, but I like that they made it.

I'd maybe say slide it into C-tier just based off of.

Time Crisis was a shooting game that had a duck-and-cover mechanic.

And so you would step on a pedal to go behind out.

You'd toggle the pedal in order to come in and out of cover.

And it was a really, really satisfying thing to play at the arcade.

Yeah.

When it was brought to the home ports, you needed to have a gun and a pedal in order to emulate that experience.

And this was the pedal.

I feel like one rogue step on this snaps it in half.

That's the thing.

That's cheap.

You wish there was an official Namco first party one because the gun con is like the best light gun that was ever released.

That was awesome.

By the way, this is just reminding me,

y'all may know Kyle Bosman.

He's a

comedian and does a lot of video game commentary and is a very successful YouTuber.

Final Bosman, but he used to do sketches and bits around the Upright Citizens Gate Theater in Los Angeles.

I once saw him do a bit.

And I apologize, Kyle, for describing your bit

secondhand because

it obviously would play better if you see it.

But it was so so funny.

And it was him calling his friend and telling him he just saw Joe Pesci playing Time Crisis and then having to explain both who Joe Pesci is and what Time Crisis is.

That's so funny.

That's unbelievable.

That's a great bit.

Yeah.

I love that.

That's a great fucking bit.

I want to shout out the We Bowling Ball, which was, for those of us who played We Bowling, but were like, hey, it's weird that I'm holding a stick when I'm supposed to be bowling a ball.

This was a bowling ball that you then could,

look, I just think this is an accident waiting to happen.

I was going to say, I wish I had data for how many of these went through television for Windows.

Because nothing, people already were letting go of their fucking Wii controllers so much that they had to like create a condom for the thing.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

It came with a wrist strap, so you weren't supposed to, but nobody was putting on the wrist strap, they were just throwing them through the television.

In the same way that, like, when the year

seatbelts became mandatory, people were like, I'm not doing that, and just like flew through their windshields when they were getting in car accidents.

The Wii condom sucked so much, I refused to put one on any of my controllers because I'm not a maniac when I'm playing a game.

I made a very similar argument about something else, too, and not go over it.

The, yeah,

It's crazy.

I'm not a maniac when I talk.

It's crazy in hindsight.

And I think it happens with the Joy-Cons too, of just how many people put those wrist straps on incorrectly.

And I'm trying to remember how to even do it.

It's got one of those

pinch.

Yeah, the pinch thing that you slide.

Right.

People would put the wrong side of the pinch.

So what would happen is it's up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so it would just like completely have no, it wouldn't be tethered to your wrist at all.

We'd be fools.

Yeah.

You know, the more I'm looking at this, put the ride.

I hate to do it to Tony Yak, but put the ride into F because again, that's going to hurt somebody.

And

I think there's some nice synergy with stuff that you stand on or move your body towards, and they all don't really work.

Yeah.

It's not his fault.

He didn't make it.

It's not his fault.

No, he didn't make it.

But the Wii Bowling Ball

is a D tier item.

It works.

But do you want it to?

What is the Naruto headband thing that's on our tier list?

This is, I think, it's called the Atari Starlink or something.

Oh, yes.

Okay, hold on.

This was the Atari Mind Link.

Mind Link.

And this was never actually released.

Let me read this little bit about the Atari Mind Link from redbull.com of all places.

Okay.

While Kinect makes your whole body the controller, Atari's Mind Link set out to make your mind the controller instead.

A set of controllers and software were combined together to create the Atari Mind Link system, a combo headband with an infrared transmitter and receiver.

The system could hook up to your Atari VCS 2600, Atari 268 7800, and Atari home computers and will let you control on-screen action with your mind.

Unfortunately, it was never released.

So this is just like someone's idea that was obviously completely unworkable.

I mean, I think this is an easy F tier.

Yeah, it's an easy F tier.

I think it's interesting knowing that it's the Mind Link, that the Neuralink is like a current device being,

I don't know, know,

conned around town

by the same guy who made a car where the gas pedal gets stuck underneath the.

Anyway,

but it's wild to me that it's called the Neuralink, being that this was the MindLink.

And that the Neuralink's first proof of concept use was playing Mario Kart.

It makes me wonder how much of it is inspired by this, like the memories of this device.

Well, it's not the first idea that's been stolen by this man, so I think it's possible that he's just ripping it off.

Yeah.

He's like, he thinks it's cool.

Sounds like a strong candidate for a potential third season of Doctor Death.

LC Doctor Death?

I didn't.

Pretty good.

What is it?

Like a guy who dies?

It's a doctor.

It's about a doctor who dies.

No, it's a podcast that then was turned into a dramatized series, and it's an anthology series.

One season is about a guy who, I can't remember what his thing is.

Oh, he does bad spinal surgeries and like get like makes people worse or like kills people.

And then it's like his thing.

And then the second season is about a guy who does an experimental trachea surgery.

Yeah, it's a pretty good show.

Only Doctor Death I respect is Dr.

Death Steve Williams, R.I.P.

Also, Dr.

Gavorkin as well.

We haven't talked about the Kinect.

Yeah, and there's not really any Xbox representation on here other than,

I mean, there's none.

Well, what happened was that,

you know, by around the time the Xbox or the PlayStation 2, all this, this shit was just going multi-platform, right?

So it wasn't like there were as many dedicated,

you know, hardware exclusive controllers.

I kind of don't think the Kinect belongs here for our purposes.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Well, because

there was the shitty PlayStation 1 2, right?

That was the attempt at the kind of both being a...

PlayStation Eye.

Yes, right.

And I feel like that's kind of like its own.

We're kind of going in a different direction if we're talking about that stuff.

I have the camera for the PlayStation 5.

And the PlayStation Move was the other one, the one that had the little orb at the end of it.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not

great.

We'll leave it off.

But do we, do we call back the baby?

the baby controller that we once talked about here on an episode of get play oscar montoya brought to our attention

um the babysitting mama baby i think we should wrap it up with the with the baby so let's let's knock out the the the few remaining that we have that we're actually going to do this so it's

the game boy uh sewing machine uh game boy sewing machine i think it's great that it exists i don't know how it actually works uh it does work

but

c tier

the um

the as opposed to the bowling ball uh we have the space orb which was a controller where instead of an analog stick,

it had a like a rotating sort of three-dimensional sphere.

And some people actually liked it, I think, for controlling FPS games of the era.

This was,

I believe, a PC controller.

I don't know.

I think this, it's an interesting experiment.

This feels like a C tier.

C tier.

Some people are still trying to get this to work.

I saw.

Interesting.

I think there's some fandom for it.

Oh, you know what?

Let's not wrap up with a baby.

I know what we're going to wrap up with.

Let's go to.

Oh, oh, God, what the fuck is that shitty one?

Matt, what the fuck is that?

That one sucks.

It's like the laser eye.

That's the laser eye used for the NES.

What was that thing called?

It was called the

Konami Laser Scope.

I ruined it.

Is that what it was?

Konami Laser.

Yes, it was the Konami Laser Scope.

Hey, Konami Laser Scope.

Good pull.

Yeah, so this was an idea.

It worked with the.

It worked with the, like,

it worked like the NES zapper.

Um, I'll just read this from Wikipedia.

Okay, let him cook.

This is going to be good.

It is voice activated, firing a shot whenever the wearer says fire, although some reviewers criticized its ability to do so.

Oh, my God.

So you aimed with your eye.

You had like a crosshair eyepiece, and then you would aim at the screen where the light gun would go, and then you'd say fire to shoot it.

That sucks.

That fucking sucks.

What are we thinking?

F.

F.

F tier.

The

okay, the

and that just leaves the wait, what are these two Xbox controllers here?

These are the Sonic and Knuckles Xbox controllers that were not for purchase, but they were a giveaway around the time Sonic 2 was being released with a themed Xbox

Series X as well.

These seem like they maybe belong up over there with a Dragon Quest slime.

You can actually maybe use this.

Although I guess the fur would probably suck to hold.

The fur looks like it would really bother me.

It would bother me.

And also, like, if at any point you were playing anything intense and your hands got a little sweaty.

Yeah, or if like your name

spilled fur.

Yeah.

Yeah, it would start to smell.

Yeah, maybe put that in D.

And also, is the implication that they skinned Sonic and Knuckles for the controller?

That is, that is bleak.

I guess, okay, Matt, Matt, put it in C.

I guess that's a fine.

Well, I put it in C on accident.

I could put it in B.

No, C.

C, okay.

Leave it in C.

okay, and then we've got the

baby, and then this bad boy, right, right.

So, we all right, let's do the cooking mama or cookie, yeah, it's cooking mama, baby, right?

Uh, babysitting mama, you don't cook the baby, I was gonna say, that doesn't sound like that.

I know that the phrase is bun in the oven, but it's not literal.

Uh, babysitting mama, baby.

I mean, it is just a baby, which is kind of funny.

But you put the controller in the baby, yeah, that's weird.

Yeah, that sucks.

That sucks.

Um, but you do

baby stuff with it.

You like rock the baby.

Change the baby to feed the baby.

I think you just rock the baby and you like play baby.

Like you like toss it, right?

I don't know.

I've never bought this.

It's a baby.

I'm trying to look for some more context on this.

Okay, there are about 40 to 50 mini games in babysitting mama total.

This is from the cooking mama wiki.

Kind of not enough.

Rocking.

Gently swing the baby back and forth like mama to make it smile.

Milk time, feed their baby their milk by tilting the nunchuck piece forward, but make sure to avoid the red.

Burp, pat the baby gently on each blue segment on the line to burp them.

Wait, wait, wait.

So is the controller in the baby or is it not?

Because you can't feed the baby by tilting the baby backward.

No,

you have the nunchuck as separate from the Wii remote, is my understanding.

Got it, got it.

So that kind of functions as the bottle.

I don't know.

Without having hands-on experience of this, I mean, I do like that it exists.

I think it's a cool shelf piece.

I think this maybe belongs in D tier, but maybe it's fun to play with.

And then

finally,

the Steel Battalion

controller set.

It looks like there's joysticks, pedals, a whole console dashboard.

A hundred buttons.

Yeah.

The dumbest, most embarrassing piece of hardware ever make.

Send it straight to S tier.

It fucking rocks.

So fucking awesome.

It is the the red.

I wanted so bad, and it's so fucking dumb.

But yeah, it is 100%.

No one should have this in their collection.

No.

But if you do, I admire you.

And then that's, we did it.

That's our tier list of gimmicks.

I can't believe we got through all of them.

We went through so many.

And

we're going to hear so many people saying, I can't believe you forgot this.

I can't believe you forgot my favorite.

My favorite one, my precious baby one.

Shut up.

We did so much.

We did do a lot, but

it's hard to be completely comprehensive here.

I'm just trying to think if there's anything we, any big ones we did miss.

I'm sure there is.

We'll think of it later.

I will be, I say this with love,

real

gratitude for being back in the studio.

pleasure of looking at all of those devices again and remembering a lot of them.

This made me miserable.

Heather, I think at this point it is fair to say that this was your idea.

We went for long enough that the timer we used in studio went into sleep mode.

How about we do a quick segment, you guys?

I love it.

Can Nick and Heather guess how long it takes to beat a game without going over?

It's game overtime.

This is a hard one, and

guys, I'm going to tell you there's a theme right now: it's an all-Final Fantasy Edition.

Hey, wow.

So, you're going to tell me how long it takes to beat

these Final Fantasy games.

I'll say the main story according to howlongtobeat.com.

The first one on this list: Finals Fantasy

10-2.

Final Fantasy 10-2.

Final Fantasy X-2.

I will say,

I'm going to say 28 hours.

28 hours on the board?

40 hours.

40 hours.

Heather has gone over by approximately

9.5 hours.

Nick is closest without going over 30 and a half hours.

All right.

Yeah, the thing I always forget about this one is that

how long to beat, the people who, the self-selected people who report to how long to beat are usually pretty quick.

Yeah.

There's main story, main, and extra, and completionist, but I'm going main story here.

This next one from 1991, Final Fantasy IV.

Final Fantasy IV.

Okay.

This is one of those ones where, like, you know, when I played it as a kid, I was like, this game's like 500 hours long.

It obviously is nowhere near that.

Nine hours.

Nine hours.

I think it's more than nine hours.

But I don't think it's 60 hours.

I'm going to say 22 hours.

62 hours?

No, 22 hours.

22 hours?

Oh, Nick, you just went over by one hour.

That is 21 hours to beat Final Fantasy IV.

I forgot it's Price's Right Rules.

It's Price's Right Rules.

Heather gets a point.

I got pretty close, though.

You got really, really close.

But that's not how they play on Price's Right, unfortunately.

You get stuck in a dungeon, and

that would have been 22 hours.

True.

Yeah.

That's right.

Final Fantasy 15, next one on the board.

15!

15, and one that you've played, I know.

Oh, my boys!

Well, here's the problem: is like, what does this mean?

Just the main story?

Yeah, the main story only

is what you're using.

And this is not

Final Fantasy 15 complete or whatever it's called.

Yeah.

Royal Edition.

Royal Edition.

Oh, my boys.

And does this include the time that you spend watching Kingsglay before you play?

It could include the two-hour and 40 minutes, if that's what you're asking.

Was that long now?

It wasn't that long.

Felt like it.

It did.

45 hours for the main story.

45 hours for the main story coming from Heather.

Oh, I was going to say 43 hours, but I'll create a little bit more space.

I'll say 30.

No.

Heather said 45.

Yep.

46 hours.

You're both incorrect, unfortunately.

28 hours to beat the main story.

Oh.

Wow.

It's hard to know.

Once you get past 20 hours,

any amount is a long time.

It's hard to know because, like,

I put in more than a hundred hours into that game, but I was also like enjoying myself and doing all the side quests and like doing all the cooking.

Like.

What's the main plus extras and what's the the completionist for that one?

Main plus extras, 53 and a half hours.

Completionist, 95.

Yeah, 95 seems right because like I caught all the fish.

Some of these games have, yeah, the really, really wide ranges.

Because I think really just mainlining it, you're just sprinting through sometimes.

Yeah.

Okay, so it's still a tie game, still anyone's game.

Next one, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles for the GameCube.

Oh, this game.

My

bane of my existence.

I want it to be so good.

It is not so good.

How long does it take to just beat this fucker?

I'll say 11 hours.

11 hours from Nick.

15.

15.

Heather is the closest without going over.

The answer, 21 hours.

Wow.

21 hours.

So now Heather is in the lead, 2-1.

One more, the final one.

So we can either tie it up or Heather can go run away with it.

Final Fantasy tactics for the PlayStation.

Okay, big game.

I have finished this game.

How long is it really?

Especially if you mainline it.

But it's

the way this progression works.

I'm not sure if that's much, there's much variance between

main and main plus extras.

Just to say a number, I'm going to say 37 hours.

That feels too long.

37 hours.

Okay, 37 hours.

Heather?

I think it's a big boy.

I'm gonna go with 41 hours, Heather.

Closest without going over

goes to Nick

because the answer is 40 hours.

It's a tie game, but you know what?

In the spirit of this long episode, I got a tiebreaker for us.

Whoever gets this one right wins.

We both went over by exactly one hour on one of the one Final Fantasy.

That's weird.

Here we go.

This final one.

How long does it take to beat

Dirge of Cerberus Final Fantasy VII?

Fuck.

17 hours.

17 from Heather.

One hour, Drew.

The answer.

11 and a half hours.

Nick is our winner for Final Fantasy Edition of Game Overtime.

And folks, that's this week's Get Played.

Wow.

Spirited contest.

That was fun.

An immediate episode.

Actually, I am kind of curious if we missed any big ones.

So, if people want to let us know on our Discord of any peripherals, any gimmick peripherals.

Yeah, go ahead and just yell at us if we didn't get one.

Well, I mean, you can say

it nicely.

But I would be interested in someone saying something nicely.

Our discord is discord.gg slash get played.

You can talk back at us about get played, about get animated, or about politics, sports, cooking.

Politics, especially.

We love politics in there.

Yeah.

Just laid on.

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All channels, politics is okay.

Yeah.

Our producer is Rochelle Chen.

Ranch, Yard underscore underscore sard.

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And hey, check out our Patreon, patreon.com/slash get played, where you can find our entire pre-head gumback catalog, plus ad-free main feed episodes, and also our Patreon exclusive show, Get Animated.

Matt, what's up this week?

This week, we did something a little different.

We went to Silver Lake Ramen to celebrate the collaboration with Naruto.

So we talk about Silver Lake Ramen.

Check to see if there's one in your area.

There's some nationally.

And we talk a little bit about Naruto, and we had a nice time.

I feel like speaking to people, yelling, people are going to yell at you for saying Naruto instead of Naruto.

Naruto?

Yeah.

Naruto.

Believe it.

Don't yell at me.

Matt got played.

That was a head gum podcast.