Breaking From Shame & Comparison | Girls Gone Bible

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Do I have anything in my D? Let's see.

Speaker 1 No. Do I? No.

Speaker 1 Well, that's why I didn't get blueberries in my smoothie. I hope this doesn't say anything.
Can't believe I don't crave coffee anymore all day. You're not having a coffee right now?

Speaker 1 You are incredible. How? How? You used to drink three a day.
Three a day. That's all I thought about.
I couldn't wait to go to bed so I could wake up and get a coffee.

Speaker 1 You'd be in the middle of a panic attack by five o'clock being like, what's wrong? And it's like,

Speaker 1 because when you train your body to do something, you break it. Like, you break that addiction.
100%.

Speaker 1 What do you do? Is it a smile?

Speaker 1 You guys.

Speaker 1 We are going back on tour. We are hitting the road again and we cannot wait to meet you face to face and laugh and cry and pray and worship and just grow together.

Speaker 1 Last time we were on tour, we were just completely blown away by how powerful it was to gather with you guys in person.

Speaker 1 The stories, the prayers, the healings, God moved in every single room. And it just reminded us that this isn't just a podcast.
It's a community and a family.

Speaker 1 Go to girlscombible slash tour to get your tickets.

Speaker 1 We love you guys and we can't wait wait to be with you you guys are a book out of the wilderness 31 devotions to walk with god through your hardest seasons seeing the stories every single day how much you guys are relating how much it's getting you through your tough seasons you have no idea it's like the highlight of my mornings when i wake up and see all the stories so we just thank you so much for all the support we are just so blessed that we were able to

Speaker 1 bleed our hearts out on papers and you guys can feel seen and know that you're not alone in your hard season and know that god's going to get you through it and it just gives you like a peace and makes you feel less alone and it just eases that grief that you're going through doesn't it so i just we thank you so much get your copy at girlsgonebible.com slash book you guys i just filmed two new episodes on ggb plus and

Speaker 1 it was like

Speaker 1 two of my favorite episodes because I get to go deeper. It's more intimate.
It's one-on-one. It feels like I'm sitting with my best friends and just talking on the couch, being raw, being open.

Speaker 1 I don't have to worry about what I say. I can just bleed out and tell you guys everything.
And it's just, it's just a different vibe on GGB Plus. It's stuff that I can't really talk about on GGB.
So

Speaker 1 me and Angela are just so blessed that we get to have that platform where we can go even deeper with you guys just because you guys are our best friends.

Speaker 1 and you know there's some things we just can't really talk about on an open platform but it's nice that we just could get to sit down chill not really have to think and just go really deep with you guys subscribe now at girlsgonebible.com slash ggb plus we can't wait to see you there i'm man and i'm r and this is girls gone bible we are a faith-based

Speaker 1 We are a faith-based podcast where we talk everything Jesus, we love him, he saved our lives, and now we get to come on here and talk about everything from relationships to mental health.

Speaker 1 If you guys have been through it, we probably have too. We say, come as you are, just don't stay that way.
Let's go. I really love that line because it's so true.
It's so true.

Speaker 1 Come as you are, just don't stay that way. What's up, Bob? What are you doing? I literally just, I, it's so funny.
I just noticed this, but I have tickets. Tickets.
I'm drowning in them.

Speaker 1 I I have tickets as my bookmarks and my Bible. I'm drowning in parking tickets.
You don't know what we go through in California. You don't know what we go through.

Speaker 1 A nightmare. You can't park anywhere.
They, they, you, they, they,

Speaker 1 they're just sharks or vultures. They're sharks, dude.
They're snakes. I see them and I'm like, I'm like crumbling.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah,

Speaker 1 what a job to just ruin people's days. You know what I mean? You're

Speaker 1 sad.

Speaker 1 You got to see me when I get pulled over. I am so sorry, sir.

Speaker 1 You would think that I murdered someone. Like, I literally slaughtered someone with the way I act.
I feel like I'm going to prison. I had to go to court for a cell phone ticket.

Speaker 1 My mom goes, You didn't kill a man.

Speaker 1 I was crying. I thought I was going to jail.
I was shaking in my boots. Their court system is the scariest thing.
I probably have PTSD from when I was a kid. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd rather not go To court, I'm okay.

Speaker 1 I also probably have a little bit of a little bit. I'm not a locked up.

Speaker 1 Don't let me go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I probably have a little bit of PTSD from childhood too.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. So I went to New York with John and my family.
Tell us about the money on the floor with the guns. So we took John to his first Albanian wedding.
He loved it. He did so well.

Speaker 1 Can't dance to save his life.

Speaker 1 Neither can can I. Our kids would be really anointed and horrible dancers.
Like,

Speaker 1 it was just so, it was so fun. It was so cute.
It was so funny. Anybody who's like Eastern European or just like foreign in any way, American weddings are so different.
And I love them.

Speaker 1 They're just like

Speaker 1 simple, classy, just like, not saying Albanian isn't classy, but they're just like simple.

Speaker 1 American weddings. I am C-A.
American weddings are super.

Speaker 1 They're, they're so sweet. And Albanian Albanian weddings is like, it's like the Albanian Oscars.
Like it's the Oscars. You better wear your best dress.
And it's just crazy.

Speaker 1 This wedding was 900 people. How do people afford this stuff? I'm having mine in a backyard with some barber.
I don't know. I actually don't know.
That's so expensive. 900 people.
900 people.

Speaker 1 And it's like so extravagant, so luxurious, so grand. And John sits down and like,

Speaker 1 anybody else like this, when you really love someone, like especially a man, like you just want to feed them like I love watching like I just love when John eats I don't know why it makes me so happy like I love the idea of him being full I think when you really love someone I don't know just weird things make you happy and so

Speaker 1 John was like so hungry he hadn't eaten all day and then there's like the table is full of food like there's so much food and it's good good food and it's like um so he like is eating everything he's getting full because he's like oh my gosh I haven't eaten all day and then the next course comes And then the next course comes.

Speaker 1 And it's like a six-course meal. And John is like, Angela, I've never seen anything like this.
I got full off the first course. And I was like, John, Albanians don't play.

Speaker 1 Like, they don't play any foreign. Like, it's the best food.
It's like the best. It's just so grand.
And it was really, really special. Wow.

Speaker 1 And then we went to Nashville and hung out with a few of our friends over there. And

Speaker 1 you guys aren't going to believe this, but I was with two of my biggest role models in the world and i don't want them to become creepy so i don't want to say anything

Speaker 1 but i just want you guys to know i'm thinking so much about prayer recently and then our pastor preached on just like prayer life yesterday at church and Like so many of us don't have the things we want because we literally don't ask for them.

Speaker 1 And like God is so faithful to answer prayers that are in alignment with like what he wants for you. Recently, I started asking God

Speaker 1 if he would put me in rooms with people that I want to be like. Like, that's what I kept on saying.

Speaker 1 Like, just bring people around me that I want to be like so I can become more like them, so I can like follow in their footsteps.

Speaker 1 This past week, I was in the room with Heidi Baker, Michael Coulianos, with a bunch of people that are my, that have shaped my faith, that are my biggest role models.

Speaker 1 And I'm looking at God, I'm looking at John, and I'm just like, what? How, like,

Speaker 1 he's so faithful. And it's, it was like really,

Speaker 1 really really a cool week i got to do a lot of just fun stuff with people i really look up to and really admire heidi baker is the most incredible woman i've ever met in my life and yeah it was really cool i can't believe that you got to do that it was really special

Speaker 1 did anything like crazy happen did you see people like I love how charismatic, like, oh my gosh, I wish I was in a church that was so charismatic because I lived for it.

Speaker 1 But yeah, they're just like, they love the Holy Spirit and they are so about the gifts of the Spirit. And it's just like a really joy-filled environment.

Speaker 1 And I think that's what. It was so funny.
Like the meeting with Heidi and Iris Global was like so joy of the Lord.

Speaker 1 And then Jesus' image is like so fear of the Lord, just like all reverence, awe, and like, just like, oh, so much holiness. And I love, I just love both.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so ask God to put you in rooms with people that you want to be like. And he, he's just so faithful to do that.
Like, I feel like God is so faithful.

Speaker 1 I don't feel, I know, he's so faithful to like propel us towards our destiny in him. And one of the ways to do that is by bringing the right people around you.

Speaker 1 So like ask God, Lord, bring the right people around me to like bring me where I'm supposed to go. And he's going to do it.

Speaker 1 And then you're going to be like, how are all these new people coming into my life, like pushing me in the right direction? It's so true because I have been praying for like mentors. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the way God just provides that. So that's why that's so good that you said that because

Speaker 1 I hear so many of you guys being like, I'm alone. I don't have community.
Ask for it.

Speaker 1 The way that God has provided us mentors and incredible older women of God that can walk this walk with us, it's insane. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so he will provide. I love Heidi Baker.
I watched a couple of her things. The way she gives her life to people and just dedicates her whole life to others is,

Speaker 1 I wish everyone had that because she really is changing the world. Like she is so incredibly selfless.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 so selfless to the point where it's like, it almost can produce like shame in a way because you're just like, wow, that is like a level of godliness and selflessness that is so hot that you can never attain by yourself.

Speaker 1 It's only the Holy Spirit that can empower you to live like that and my prayer since being with heidi is like because for her life there's no difference between

Speaker 1 ministry heidi and regular life heidi she's always doing ministry because she's always living for jesus and she's always living for other people

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 yeah i've been praying every single day god make me like make there be no difference between Angela in ministry and Angela like just hanging out and chilling.

Speaker 1 You know, just like always being on mission and always being aware that like there's a need somewhere that you can meet, you know, it's really special. You do really good with that.

Speaker 1 You do really good with that. You do really good with that.
You're always on mission for people. You are too.
I know, but I'm just so sorry.

Speaker 1 You're so cute,

Speaker 1 but you really are.

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Okay, well, we have a game. Okay, we have a game today.

Speaker 1 We want to have a fun episode with you guys. Finally,

Speaker 1 guys, we're gonna we're gonna play heads up. Oh gosh, we're gonna play heads up.

Speaker 1 No, my hair's fine. I'm not worried.
I don't know why. By the way, I just really wanted to say to everyone who I posted videos of Liam, my nephew.
Oh, you brief kiss.

Speaker 1 You guys are the most loyal riders. I've never felt so seen in my life.
I got hundreds of messages of people going, Lili, Louis,

Speaker 1 Louis,

Speaker 1 I buy a little leg loosh. I was like, you guys are the best people in the world.

Speaker 1 They just, they hear everything. They know everything.
I just love, like, the fact that we have so many inside jokes is my favorite thing in the world. We have to have friends.
Okay. I forget.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have to act it out. No, you get to say it.
So you do these, I'll do these.

Speaker 1 I'll go for it.

Speaker 1 What do I do? Okay, so

Speaker 1 I'm going to put it on my head, and you're going to see the word. Don't say the word, but describe the word.
Yeah. Right? I can't talk though.
Yeah, yes, I can talk.

Speaker 1 We're not doing shit. We're not miming.
No. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Ready?

Speaker 1 Usually we're supposed to have a

Speaker 1 time call. We don't need it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we do. It's

Speaker 1 a game. Are we playing a win? Jesse, can you time us on our game?

Speaker 1 Okay, guys, you're going to want to watch this on YouTube because it might be hard.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to see what we're doing.

Speaker 1 So you probably, and if you don't want to listen to this or watch this, I will put in the description when the episode starts and you can skip to it.

Speaker 1 Jesse, I don't think he needs to, because we're not going to do it with the timer. We're just going to keep going.
But then, what's the point of winning? Do you really want to win?

Speaker 1 Are you trying to win? I'm trying to win today. Okay, I thought we were just pointing.

Speaker 1 My gosh. Okay, ready? And go.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 No matter what you did, I forgive you and it's okay.

Speaker 1 Forgiveness?

Speaker 1 I am

Speaker 1 like, I just

Speaker 1 it's okay. Like I am,

Speaker 1 I want to break down my pride and ego. Humility.

Speaker 1 It's just kind, kind, kind, and meek. Gentle and meek.

Speaker 1 Kindness, gentleness. Patience.

Speaker 1 Tenderness. Patience, patience.
Kindness, generousness. Fruits of the spirit.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I can't believe this is happening. It's like,

Speaker 1 this is insane. I can't believe it.
I prayed for it and breakthrough. Oh my god, he had answered prayer.
Now he's healed. Healing.
He had cancer and now he's healed. Miracle.
The blind can say.

Speaker 1 Yes, Miracle. Okay, gosh.

Speaker 1 Praying in tongues. That was weird.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I ran away and I did my thing, but I came back and I was repented like this. Jesus, oh, I went and rebelled.

Speaker 1 I went. Who is it? Jesus.
The prodigal son.

Speaker 1 I get up really early. I clean.
I serve.

Speaker 1 Servant heart. What am I? I am.

Speaker 1 I want to be this for my husband.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. I want to be this in life to others.

Speaker 1 I want to be a

Speaker 1 answered prayer. I want to get up early.
I want to feed the goats. I want to be

Speaker 1 verse 31.

Speaker 1 Does she feed goats? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 You are going to have

Speaker 1 like, I see in the spirit that you are going to, I just gave it away. You're going to

Speaker 1 do ministry and convert Muslims. I just got a vision, prophecy.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I have to go fast.

Speaker 1 God is going to use me to bring people.

Speaker 1 I have to tell everyone to go fast. Evangelism.
No. I have to go tell everyone to fast

Speaker 1 and then we're going to figure out what to do. Discipleship.

Speaker 1 I am

Speaker 1 a woman. The woman in the Bible.
The woman at the well. No.

Speaker 1 Everyone, we have to go fast to make a decision. I am the one.

Speaker 1 No matter what, all the trials, God, like, God listens to me.

Speaker 1 Answered prayers? No!

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 People have said that I am like this, this woman. Ariel.

Speaker 1 People said I am like this.

Speaker 1 Esther!

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 You said it. Oh,

Speaker 1 you can have kids at 90. Sarah!

Speaker 1 You can have kids at 90.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I sinned. I went the wrong way.
I, I, and I, I temptation, I bit the apple. Eve?

Speaker 1 You're doing so good.

Speaker 1 I just did that, and I'm, and I feel conviction.

Speaker 1 Yes! Yeah!

Speaker 1 Okay, your turn.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I just saw one.
It's okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was really, really honest of you.

Speaker 1 Um, the ark. The ark got flu.
Noah. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, I put on the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of God. Yes!

Speaker 1 Okay, everyone screaming. All right, I'm going to pursue this so I'm not having no sex.

Speaker 1 Um, um

Speaker 1 purification.

Speaker 2 No, I mean, not really.

Speaker 1 I'm not having any sex because I'm pursuing purity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By his stripes, we are.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Holy Spirit gives me joy. No.

Speaker 1 The Holy Spirit gives me empowerment. So I, Peter, Peter, the disciples, Peter,

Speaker 1 no, he went to go preach a message and the Holy Spirit came upon him and he delivered a message and he was.

Speaker 1 No, and he was, it is the opposite of a lack of confidence because you are like courage, kind of, no, you are. Oh,

Speaker 1 you and I have this when you're about to go on stage and you don't know what's going on, God for this.

Speaker 1 Yes!

Speaker 1 All right, oh, you're in this one, baby. You know this.
What is it? You know this one.

Speaker 1 It's when what you want hasn't come yet.

Speaker 1 Um, faith. No, when you want it hasn't come yet, you're in this type of period.
Waiting to see that. Who won?

Speaker 1 You Madam Sponge. Okay, okay.
Oh, I broke everything. Who won? Who won? Okay, it's a joint effort.
We both won. Okay, we both won.

Speaker 1 Do you have any more?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 A man that had everything taken away from him. And I dropped him.
Oh, yeah!

Speaker 1 Yes!

Speaker 1 Me and you, you have the greatness.

Speaker 1 You have them. I have them.

Speaker 1 You can see what somebody can see through somebody. You can see me.

Speaker 1 you give this a lot.

Speaker 1 You give me a lot of.

Speaker 1 He did. I mean, I see that he's going the wrong way, but I give him.
Great. Yes!

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 we have a lot of this, baby.

Speaker 1 We're on tour. And the devil.

Speaker 1 The devil's sucker punching us. Spiritual warriors.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Get him.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite story in the Bible. The woman that I relate to most.
Mary Magdalene. And.
With the issue of blood? Yes.

Speaker 1 No way.

Speaker 1 Hardened hearts. He hardened his heart.
He hardened his heart.

Speaker 1 He hardened his heart.

Speaker 1 David? Moses.

Speaker 1 He

Speaker 1 hardened his heart. Oh, Pharaoh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 David. Oh, spiritual warfare.
We did that. Okay.
Here it's talking.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh,

Speaker 1 we make this out of our relationships with boys. Idols.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Did. Did.
Used to. Past tense.

Speaker 1 The most beautiful thing is when you can hear Jesus.

Speaker 1 By the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 1 You want to

Speaker 1 you want to

Speaker 1 You want to hear this. It's you want to hear the you want You want to talk.
You talk to Jesus, and then what you want to receive back is hearing. Oh, the gifts, the gifts of

Speaker 1 prophecy. No.

Speaker 1 Spiritual gifts. No, no, no.
No. You are close in the beginning.
You were close in the beginning, but different words. I don't remember what you said.
That's okay. God's voice.

Speaker 1 I could have said that. I know, but

Speaker 1 you already got it, really. Oh,

Speaker 1 this guy, he was really strong because of his hair. David.

Speaker 1 Oh, Saul. No, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, Samson. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Close. Oh, this was the first evangelist ever because Jesus said, you have five wives.
And she ran and said, he told me everything I've ever known or everything that I've ever done in my life.

Speaker 1 Everything about myself.

Speaker 1 Jesus was talking to somebody, getting water, saying, Oh, the woman with the water. Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is my guy. We want to.

Speaker 1 Yes, but no. We want to model our life afterwards.

Speaker 1 John the Baptist. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 A man after God's own heart. Jayven, my favorite.

Speaker 1 Guys, turn it down.

Speaker 1 This is.

Speaker 1 This is you.

Speaker 1 This is you. When we watch The Chosen Together.
Mary Magdalene. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Guys, I hope you enjoyed that game. I love that game.
We have to do harder ones. I know.
I know. We have to do that.
That was amazing.

Speaker 1 That was fun.

Speaker 1 This is what me and you are. Crazy?

Speaker 1 I can't. Thanks for playing that with us, guys.
I hope that wasn't the loudest, most annoying thing you've ever heard.

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Speaker 1 I don't know,

Speaker 1 prayer stuff. Prayer stuff.

Speaker 1 Let's, should we just have like a honest conversation about faith and like praying? And I don't know. I feel like some people

Speaker 1 can really

Speaker 1 I've just noticed a lot people comparing

Speaker 1 their spiritual life to other people's spiritual life and i think that in when you become a christian you look left and right and you are like always thinking like oh that person like knows jesus better than me or that person prays better than i do or that person spends more time like all that stuff and i just think it creates so much shame in people and so much um

Speaker 1 yeah comparison's just the worst it's just the worst and i've been seeing a lot lately and i think what be would be good for us is just to be honest with people about the lulls in our relationship with Jesus sometimes and the seasons or days or weeks where you're not

Speaker 1 getting touched like crazy and experiencing all of this amazing stuff to just break shame I don't know I was just thinking this yesterday to break shame off of people because I think a lot of people probably have shame and they don't talk about it And something else that I've noticed with Christians is that we all talk about like the great encounters that we've had with God and how amazing our relationship with Jesus is without always sharing the fact that like we might be in a dry season or we might not be feeling things

Speaker 1 in our quiet time. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Yeah, yeah.
Do you experience that ever? Yeah, I actually

Speaker 1 experienced that the past couple weeks.

Speaker 1 It's so funny. I've gained a new compassion for moms because, you know, we're by ourselves.
So we have all the time in the world. We can get up in the morning.
We can go, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 But I've had a loved one staying with me for a couple of weeks and I have not. I felt like,

Speaker 1 you know, you have people, you feel like you're so close to Jesus that you can just kind of,

Speaker 1 oh, it's okay. I can just get up and I can go do my thing and all these things.
And so the past two, actually, it's been longer than two weeks because I went back to Boston. Then I came home.

Speaker 1 Then I had a sibling come and stay with me. So, you know how that goes.
You're just, you're busy. You're just, you want to entertain, you want to make them happy.
And you don't even think about Jesus.

Speaker 1 And you don't even, I mean, and then you don't even think about yourself. And so I have found myself for the past two weeks.

Speaker 1 Not even, I have not read the Bible. I have not been in my secret place.
I have tried. I can't focus.
I'm thinking, I'm in my, I'm like trying to pray at 7 p.m., 7 a.m.

Speaker 1 And then I'm thinking, I'm looking at my clock. It's 7.30.
We have to be here. And so

Speaker 1 I have just completely,

Speaker 1 and I can feel it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you think you're in this, oh, I have the Holy Spirit and I have, I, I love him so much and I'm in relationship and it's okay, you know.

Speaker 1 And man, have I felt it the best? Yeah. I felt it every day, actually.
It's like my spirit has been grieving so much. Yeah.
Oh, wave, of course,

Speaker 1 and it's been such a,

Speaker 1 it's honestly been a really good reminder, and it's been a really good lesson for me.

Speaker 1 Because I wonder if you guys feel that way sometimes, where you just think you can just go on your days and you can just whatever, and I'll get to it when I get to it.

Speaker 1 But man, have I been having unwanted thoughts? And

Speaker 1 yeah, just,

Speaker 1 you know, you start to kind of do things

Speaker 1 yeah a little bit worldly and you catch yourself whereas if you're in the word and you're in the secret place and you're in communion you don't you don't you like you don't even play with that stuff and not to say that I'm doing whatever but like of course it's so small it's like really subtle right the same thing happened with me where I went to New York I was with my family so I wake up And this is like maybe four days where I would wake up and like I did not spend time with Jesus.

Speaker 1 I would wake up and read like a psalm or read like a little something to just check off about, just be like, check off.

Speaker 1 Jesus, I gave you this. And right in my mind, I'm like, I'm on vacation.

Speaker 1 And not even that I didn't want to or I was neglecting it. I like truly didn't.
I was not waking up in time, like early enough to spend time with him because there I did have places to be.

Speaker 1 And the first day, it's fine. The second day, it's fine.
The third day, the fourth day.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden, I'm in Nashville. And like, I didn't even notice until I literally go, oh my gosh, I have no control over my emotions right now.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 like I, it's crazy. I'm out of, so out of touch with Jesus and myself that I am not in control of my emotions.
And I am feeling, I get hit all of a sudden just one day.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that's what Satan does so much, where he like doesn't, he allows it to where you don't feel the effects right away until it's like almost too late.

Speaker 1 And it's never too late, but it feels too late because now you're like, oh my gosh, I'm a mess. And I don't know how to get back to where I was.

Speaker 1 I spend like four or five days not spending time with Jesus like I usually do. And then all of a sudden, like all of a sudden, one day I get hit with all this anxiety, with all this emotion.

Speaker 1 I am having relational conflicts. Like that's what always happens when I'm not spending time with Jesus is I'll, I see it in my relationships, in my friend, like with my mom, with this, with that.

Speaker 1 Like you just see there's discord and there's miscommunication and there's just, you're out of alignment and you're not being fed and you're not full and you don't have patience. And

Speaker 1 if you come from a broken past or a broken family, like all of those old patterns will come back. Like, yes, we are saved, freed, and delivered, but like you, you do have to stay free.

Speaker 1 You do have to stay delivered. And you do that through spending time with Jesus and like being in the Word.
And yeah, I, it happened so fast.

Speaker 1 And I also learned such a big lesson where I was like, I can't, like, even on vacation.

Speaker 1 It just like, yeah, for me personally, and I think for you too, we just have been through so much that we can't even afford to

Speaker 1 like take days off like that. You know what I mean? I know.
And I, I thought too to myself, I said,

Speaker 1 Lord, like,

Speaker 1 how is it that I often like

Speaker 1 miss those days where I was in like such a dark place? Because that's when I was with him.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I like had a moment where I was like,

Speaker 1 bring me back to that place if that's what it takes because I don't like this right now. Like, I just felt like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I don't know. I,

Speaker 1 that's why i'm like i i had a moment where i was like i am glad i have that thorn in my flesh where i cannot be with and i don't think any of any of us can none of us can be without jesus we'll all be spiritually dead i have a hard time

Speaker 1 being honest sometimes and like going to the to prayer and like opening up. Like I almost feel like, you're so disappointed in me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 you're so disappointed in me like i i got up and i you weren't the first thing i i i thought about and then

Speaker 1 i was in my um in my church uh yesterday and

Speaker 1 it was such an incredible sermon and she was like he's omnipresent he knows he knows the mistakes you make he knows the the sadness he knows when you go the other way

Speaker 1 And she said, I said this to you. She's like, you don't have to climb up a ladder to get him.
He climbs, he walks down to meet you. So he meets you.

Speaker 1 And every moment you're at, like your sadness, your sin, your anxiety, your depression. But so much of us, we hide.

Speaker 1 We hide and we're just not honest. And so, but.
Then again, this is normal. This is, this is normal as human beings.
And that's why it's so good to talk about it.

Speaker 1 And I honestly feel better that you just went through that too. So

Speaker 1 because it's so normal.

Speaker 1 And I just think just just to break the shame, because what you just talked about, and that's why I wanted to talk about this, because we all feel so much shame when we're not like performing as like the way that we should.

Speaker 1 And then you might look at me and I might look at you and be like, but look at what she's doing. She's in the secret place.

Speaker 1 She's doing this when I have no idea that actually you're struggling in some ways and you don't know what I'm struggling with.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what you just talked about is so real about how like

Speaker 1 that shame causes you to not be honest. What I've realized about shame more than anything is that it causes like shame causes you to self-protect.

Speaker 1 So usually when people, and this is what I've noticed in my own life, that like whenever we have shame, shame is such a killer because it causes you like his kindness leads us to repentance.

Speaker 1 So conviction is supposed to lead us in the right direction.

Speaker 1 When we feel conviction, it's supposed to be a grace to like empower us to change and to move the other way and to change whatever is going on that's wrong and come back into alignment with Jesus.

Speaker 1 But shame, because you start to feel like what did Christine say? She said that the difference between shame and guilt is like guilt is I've done something bad. Shame is I am bad.

Speaker 1 And guilt, I've done something bad means I could just go do something else. But shame, I am bad.

Speaker 1 There's nowhere you can go from there. You're just bad.
There's nothing you can do because you are bad.

Speaker 1 So I've realized that that for me and probably so many people, when you feel shame, you won't move in the right direction because you'll begin to self-protect because shame is painful.

Speaker 1 And so you might start to negotiate and justify as a means to self-protect because you don't want to feel that shame.

Speaker 1 So you'll start to say, or I'll start to say, we'll start to say like, No, it's I don't I don't actually need to do that or like I that's okay that I did that or it's okay. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And that's what I've noticed for myself is that like every time i have shame i'll actually justify what i did and it doesn't let me move forward and that's why shame is the number one thing we have to break because it doesn't let you change and any area of my life that i see there wasn't like profound changes and shifts is because I had shame.

Speaker 1 And I wasn't like being honest with Jesus and telling him, hey, this is like the God-honest truth of what's going on.

Speaker 1 And I'm not going to have shame about it, but I'm just going to let you help me and help me change.

Speaker 1 So yeah, thanks for saying that. I went through the same thing.
And like, it doesn't matter how long you've been walking with Jesus.

Speaker 1 Because you feel so strong in him, you think like you can.

Speaker 1 Come away, go away for a few days, go on vacation, let him take a back seat. And then you see how quickly things become so weird in your life.
And that's what I experienced.

Speaker 1 Like things just become weird. I don't feel right.
things don't feel right

Speaker 1 i know i didn't respond in that situation the way i would have had i been in the word and had i been yeah so look at let me tell you when you're not filled you've when like

Speaker 1 was there's about 2010 ariel was long gone but she's she she's here again okay

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 When your back is against the wall and you're not full of Jesus, you'll see, you'll see a version of yourself come out and you're like, where did you come from? Get out.

Speaker 2 Why are you here?

Speaker 1 You're not invited. Like, it's so weird.
It's so crazy. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's just to break shame for every single person who feels bad that they haven't been spending time with Jesus or feels like they're not performing well enough or that they're not doing enough.

Speaker 1 It's nothing, it's not like that. It's not like what we can do and what we can accomplish and how many chapters we can read

Speaker 1 as a way to like measure our godliness. Like, we want to spend time with Jesus because he's our Lord and our love and our best friend.
And we need to be fed. Like, we need to be, we need to eat.

Speaker 1 We need to be full. And so, that's why we say this.
And it's nothing, I just don't want anyone to feel shame. We just have to break shame in Jesus' name.
There is no shame. There's no condemnation.

Speaker 1 You don't have to feel bad about things in a way that causes you to turn away from Jesus. It's really so simple.
You just make a decision to be better and don't even think about it again.

Speaker 1 You know, like, don't have shame. There's like truly no reason for anyone to have shame.
And don't compare yourself. Don't compare your spiritual life.
It's good to be inspired.

Speaker 1 I was with people the past week that I'm like, I want that. I want to be like that.
But I'm not going to, everybody's in process. Everybody.
And we don't talk about the process. No.

Speaker 1 You might look at Ari and I as like these really godly girls who spend so much time with Jesus and we are,

Speaker 1 you know blah blah blah all the things we've been in process for years now and there's ups and there's downs and there's a lot of downs

Speaker 1 and there's backtracking and there's yeah and there's a lot of falls yeah even backsliding going back oh yeah

Speaker 1 tell them

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's so funny. You're speaking on this.
We were so meant to talk about this because I thought about that the other day.

Speaker 1 I was like, I wonder how many people look at me and think that I just like have it all together with Jesus because I had so many moments this past two weeks of being like, I'm really falling short.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Really, really falling short.
And so I was like, I really had that thought of, I want to talk about this. I'm so happy we're talking about it.
Me too. We just, no shame.
We just.

Speaker 1 But it goes hand in hand with the love of God. And I think.
I preach about the love of God and his safety and his protection so much.

Speaker 1 But I had a moment of being like, I have a lot of work to do on understanding you as my dad. And I talk about how he is father and he is love.

Speaker 1 But I think for myself, like, how much do I really know that?

Speaker 1 Because I deal with so much shame of hiding, of like self-numbing on my phone, of calling my friends and just like, well, it's good to have community, but I self-numb with with friends of getting um

Speaker 1 validation and and and going on my phone so i don't have to think

Speaker 1 and that's all rooted in

Speaker 1 because i don't want to deal with it exactly and i even wanted to make a confession today of being like because i talk about the secret place so much i those days that i was not i was on Instagram more than

Speaker 1 I was so confronted by like, this is so bad.

Speaker 1 so bad I was on Instagram so much and oftentimes it's not until somebody like points it out John really gently goes aunt I've never seen you like the whole time we've been dating you've like you're you've been good about your phone like I've never seen you like this every time I had a moment of silence or not in conversation I would instinctually take out Instagram like that's not normal totally self-numbing and you're getting something from the phone that you should be getting from God.

Speaker 1 That if you got it from God, you would no longer need it from the phone. The phone is so

Speaker 1 Instagram, social media, just sitting and scrolling. You are frying your brain.
Like you're literally numbing out and frying your brain. I'm done.
We say this a lot, but like, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 1 I know.

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Speaker 1 It's really bad and it's something that I'm also dealing with too because it's so good at night. But I realize that like my mind has not been right.

Speaker 1 like I have been anxious I have been and well yes like sometimes it's good to like if you want whatever like

Speaker 1 we're all the truth is is we're gonna be on our phone sometimes but

Speaker 1 yeah I've noticed like my my brain is just fried like I'm tired I'm anxious and it's because I'm like mindlessly just scrolling on the phone yeah

Speaker 2 but yeah I

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. I was saying like, and for all of us, like, I think what we should even talk more about on the podcast, like, maybe even do a series, is like really the love of God.

Speaker 1 Because if we really did truly know the love of God, like, we wouldn't sit in shame. Yeah.
And so meditating on that scripture, which is my favorite, like, he's slow to get angry. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what his word says. Like, he is slow to get angry and he's quick to forgive.

Speaker 1 But we're like running from him and we can't be honest and we feel like he's going to just leave us and and

Speaker 1 you know, he's like this this God that's like looking down, just being like, you know, you're not spending enough time. Like I'm going to go to the next person.
Like I'm

Speaker 1 so I think it's, I think we should all, even after this episode, if you're someone that's sitting in shame, you're someone that's just, you just feel like you're too far gone. You can't go to God.

Speaker 1 You can't be honest in your prayer time. Meditate on that scripture.

Speaker 1 I always go back to it he's slow to get angry and quick to forgive he's merciful so good like meditate on that that's who he is and what you said about how like you you preach it all the time you preach the love of god there are things i preach and i've said this before but there's such a difference between reading scripture understanding it in your mind and actually receiving spirit heart level revelation of what that actually means and it's only through lived experience you can't like learn these things with your mind you can only walk them out with jesus you can only receive revelation by seeing jesus in your life like working and and spending time with him and like literally sitting letting yourself be still letting god still your heart letting god still your mind and actually receiving do you want to read a little bit of genesis 3 really quick just because the hiding i think what you touched on is so important because we have to stop hiding.

Speaker 1 Can I say one thing about worship? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Worship has like

Speaker 1 the past couple Sundays of me just having so much anxiety worship. I was like wrecked by the spirit and worship.
And Rick Warren said something.

Speaker 1 I literally heard it. I think it was like two years ago.
And it sticks with me always because when you're new to church, like sometimes it's uncomfortable to, I don't know, sing.

Speaker 1 But he said, always

Speaker 1 say the words. No one's watching you.
There's something when you sing the words that you get touched. And so like, that's where God meets you when you are speaking the words.

Speaker 1 And so if you're someone who like is really shy and you don't like to sing. just say the words, like utter those words out of your mouth at church.
No one's watching you. No one cares.

Speaker 1 Everybody's in their own way. Oh, Jesus.
So true. So yeah, I would just encourage you to say the words during worship because it will hit different and he will meet you in that place.
I love that.

Speaker 1 Singing out to him. It's like a sweet aroma.
Sweet. Going into heaven.

Speaker 1 Just let's just read Genesis 3 really, really quick. We know Adam and Eve.
This is the gospel of Jesus. This is the beginning of the gospel.

Speaker 1 Adam and Eve were the first humans that God created. And basically, these two were meant to live in perfect harmony and union with God.

Speaker 1 And we see in this story that Eve was tempted by Satan to disobey, go against God. And we see the fall of man in this very short passage.
And you see, Christine Kane talked about it.

Speaker 1 Like, this is the moment that shame entered the world. This is the moment that people, humans, started to hide.

Speaker 1 And I think that what I'm realizing about life and journeying with Jesus more than anything is that it is a process of taking the mask off and like stop and stopping hiding.

Speaker 1 And I think it's so crazy coming into faith and realizing how many different masks you have to protect yourself, how many ways in which we self-protect.

Speaker 1 I can't even believe the way in which I've self-protected my whole life.

Speaker 1 And I look at eight-year-old Angela, five-year-old Angela, 12-year-old Angela, the one who got really tough really fast because she knew that if she wasn't tough, she wouldn't survive.

Speaker 1 She needed to be tough. And now it's a process of healing that small version of myself and saying, you don't need this anymore.
Like, Jesus protects you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I am safe and I don't need to self-protect. And being vulnerable in all aspects of life with God, with people,

Speaker 1 I think it leads to...

Speaker 1 I don't know what I think it leads to. I think it leads to like embarrassment and I think it leads to,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 weakness and people rejecting you. And like, that's the biggest fear is that you'll be rejected if you're yourself and you won't be accepted.

Speaker 1 And I'm realizing like all these things that I've used to self-protect, I don't need them anymore. And if people reject me or if they don't accept me, that's okay.
I'm not going to die.

Speaker 1 I have Jesus and I have people. You know what I mean? And so.

Speaker 1 Genesis chapter 3 says the serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. This is Satan the serpent.

Speaker 1 One day he asked the woman Eve, did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden? Did God really say you have to read the word every single day?

Speaker 1 Did God really say that you should really get close to Jesus and not depart from him?

Speaker 1 Did God really say that you can just go to that bar?

Speaker 1 And just like, it's just, you're just going to be with some friends. Exactly.
Did God really say that you just drink and like do, you know, whatever?

Speaker 1 Like, really, like, we have, I have had these thoughts. Yeah.
Like, even going back home to Boston of like,

Speaker 1 it's just, just, Arielle, you're too much.

Speaker 1 Seriously, like, are you like.

Speaker 1 You really, this, this spiritual stuff is just, no, it like makes me want to cry because like, I think what that's one of, that's been one of the hardest things of my walk is like,

Speaker 1 I'm like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I like sometimes if I'm not filled and I sometimes I'm like,

Speaker 1 I've had these moments recently. Like, did he really say, Yeah, am I being too much? Yeah, can I go to this place and just hang out? Like,

Speaker 1 maybe I'm being too much.

Speaker 1 Am I like being like over-religious? Like you Pharisee?

Speaker 1 Like, I swear. And it's like, it messes you up sometimes because we don't come from a household of faith.
We're called to be set apart, but sometimes it's so confusing because we want to like hang.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But you know, it's not right.
So I've, when you just said that, I just have had so many of those moments. Did he really say yes?

Speaker 1 But doesn't it all sound like this one moment? It sounds just like that one moment. Did he say that? Do you really need to? Are you sure? Like, every evening too much.
You've been too much.

Speaker 1 And I just want to say you've done such a good job amidst this life-altering situation that you've been through, being in the middle of these two worlds. You've done.

Speaker 1 I sat with Ari on the phone for 30 minutes last night, and telling her, like, you are so impressive, holding the tension, like, and you're honest, and you, like, you've done a really, really good job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you. It's hard to, yeah, it's hard to

Speaker 1 being single because sometimes you're like, I've had so many people be like,

Speaker 1 why don't you just give that guy a chance? I know. You can lead him to the Lord.

Speaker 1 Like, who cares? He's a good guy. Right.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah. And so it's confusing at times because you like.
You can't go on a date with his son believer. Go with him.
Yeah. Arielle.
Oh, I've gotten that a lot lately.

Speaker 2 Arielle.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 so yeah, it's, it's a wrestle. It's, we got to go back to the scripture, so I'm glad you're reading it.
Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?

Speaker 1 She says, of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden. The woman replied, it's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we're not allowed to eat.

Speaker 1 God said, you must not eat it or even touch it. If you do, you will die.

Speaker 1 They have a garden full of fruit and all the things that they could ever want or need. God said, just don't go for this one thing.
Just do not disobey me. I have given you so much.

Speaker 1 I have life for you. I have everything that you'll ever want or need.
Just obey me in this one area. And the serpent says, you won't die.
The serpent replied to the woman.

Speaker 1 God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil. And the woman was convinced.

Speaker 1 She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it could give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it.

Speaker 1 Then she gave it some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too. Sin begets sin.
Flesh begets flesh.

Speaker 1 Flesh and sin give birth to more flesh and sin and then you infect the people around you and it's just this vicious cycle.

Speaker 1 At that moment, this is where shame comes into the world. At that moment their eyes were opened and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.
So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

Speaker 1 They felt shame at their nakedness.

Speaker 1 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees.

Speaker 1 Then the Lord God called to the man, where are you?

Speaker 1 God knows where they are. God wants a confession.
He's pursuing. He's after them.
They're naked.

Speaker 1 ashamed afraid they've done the worst thing that they can do and god is asking where are you so every time that you're in a position where you're feeling shame you've just sinned you haven't spent time with jesus you're in this cycle and pattern of thinking that you're so bad and god's so disappointed in you and he wants nothing to do with you.

Speaker 1 You need to know that he's asking, where are you?

Speaker 1 Come to me. Come back.

Speaker 1 He replied, I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid.

Speaker 1 We have to stop hiding. We have to stop hiding.
I was afraid because I was naked. Who told you that you were naked? You were never supposed to know this.

Speaker 1 The Lord God asked, have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat? God is always asking for a confession.

Speaker 1 He's not doing it to punish them to be like, I'm going to like put salt in your wound and make you repeat to me what you did.

Speaker 1 He's like, share it with me because when you tell me what's happened, when you're honest with me, you will be free.

Speaker 1 The man replied, it was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it. The Lord God asked the woman, what have you done? The serpent deceived me.
She replied, that's why I ate it.

Speaker 1 Like, this is just the most insane beginning of the rest of history where in the worst moment of all of human history the worst moment in all of mankind is the moment that shame entered the world so like just to echo what christine said on that episode is like shame is a killer don't allow it in your life don't hide don't wear a mask don't try to justify what's happening as a way to self-protect just be honest and and like let that let the Holy Spirit empower you to move forward and to change and to be better.

Speaker 1 Like the Holy Spirit will do what the Holy Spirit does when we're honest.

Speaker 1 The second you're honest, you don't even need to try. You don't even need to do anything.
Like

Speaker 1 the Holy Spirit will give you that boldness and empowerment. You just can't have shame.
We break shame in Jesus' name right now over every single person listening and watching.

Speaker 1 No more shame in Jesus' name. No more pride in Jesus' name that causes us to be like,

Speaker 1 I'm good. I don't need to spend time with God.
I don't need to do this. I'm going to listen to these people who are saying, did God really say that? You know?

Speaker 1 And that's a way of self-protection, of shame. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I, and yeah, it's just like,

Speaker 1 let this be an episode to know that you're, you're not alone. Right.
And like, we're not perfect. Ah.

Speaker 1 No, we're not. We're not.
And he sees everything. And there's such a freedom that comes when you stop putting a facade up.
You just let it go.

Speaker 1 And you're just like, even if it's the worst thing in the world that you feel like you'll be so condemned for, like when you release that, confess your sins to one another. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then confess it to Jesus. And there's a freedom that comes and you can breathe again.
But it's like we carry it on our chest, on our back when we're hiding as somebody else.

Speaker 1 We're like we're wearing masks and it's just, it's awful. Yeah.
yeah and it's there's no need for it yeah

Speaker 1 yeah no keep

Speaker 1 he's he's our father who's who remember what i said he's omnipresent he sees us when he falls he's saying where are you yeah like with that voice too i imagine god being like where are you like he was with the prodigal son like this like that's who he is there's longing in his voice yeah like he's longing so can we just all like

Speaker 1 I really, it's been so heavy on my heart and I've had to really go back and meditate on the scripture of the merciful and gracious God because I've lost it recently. Right.

Speaker 1 And I've talked to my mentors grew up in the church and they even,

Speaker 1 like, there's so many people that grow up in

Speaker 1 the church and they were taught that you sin, you're bad and you have to be like this. And like, we're gonna fall short, but the love of God.

Speaker 1 And like,

Speaker 1 and that is what makes you be more like Jesus. Yeah, the more we know the love of Jesus, the more we want to follow him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so when we don't know the love of Jesus, we feel criticized, we feel shamed. So we turn the other way and do the exact opposite.

Speaker 1 And that's why so many people don't want to be in Christianity because they don't know the love of Christ. Right, right.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I, yeah, I've

Speaker 1 been really studying just shame with people and why they leave and why they don't want to be involved with this because that's what they think Christianity is. It's shameful.
It's bad. You're bad.

Speaker 1 You can't do like, it's not it. That's the opposite of Christ.
And so even as I say that, I still need to understand that more. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I really, I would love to do just a series on the love of God. We should.
We have to because it's not a moral religion. It's not about morality.
It's not about what you can do and you can't do.

Speaker 1 And there are obvious things that are not,

Speaker 1 it is a pursuit of holiness and righteousness and godliness. And that means that some things are a yes and some things are no.
And it's very plain at times.

Speaker 1 However, you don't live a life that's focused on what you can't do and what you can't do.

Speaker 1 You live a life that's focused on receiving the love of Jesus, of sitting and being the beloved and just receiving from him.

Speaker 1 And when you receive Jesus, when you receive the love of God, when your eyes are fixed on Jesus, you actually have no desire to go anywhere else, to do anything else, to talk any other way.

Speaker 1 Like you become holy because he is holy. And I think about

Speaker 1 the phrase, like you are who you hang out with. Well, imagine if you hang out with Jesus.
You'll be like him and you don't have to try. I know.
You don't have to try.

Speaker 1 I I don't, I don't, I'm not, I have a lot of issues. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means, obviously.
But there are things in my life that I used to do that I don't do that I don't try to not do.

Speaker 1 I just don't do them because I want, I'm, I'm, I hang out with Jesus and I'm like him in a lot of ways. I end every day becoming more like him.

Speaker 1 And then there are deep-rooted stuff that like addictions and traumas and stuff, and that's a little different. But

Speaker 1 when you spend time with Jesus, when you love Jesus, when your heart is burning for Jesus,

Speaker 1 you become like him, you act like him, and you don't think about what you can do and what you can't do.

Speaker 1 And you do realize that it's not about shame. Why would you ever run away from the person who created you, who's obsessed with you? You don't have to hide.
You don't have to numb out.

Speaker 1 And these are things that we need the Holy Spirit to empower us to do, and there are choices we have to make. We have to partner with God in this.

Speaker 1 We all have to let shame break and we have to stop numbing out, you know? And I think that's what this episode is probably about. No more numbing out.
No more numbing out with the phone.

Speaker 1 No more numbing out with

Speaker 1 TV and people and boyfriends and girlfriends and relationships and no more idolatry and putting people and things above Jesus because it's easier access.

Speaker 1 It like.

Speaker 1 It's all about gratification. With Jesus, it's not so much, it's not instant gratification like it is with the phone or like it is with people.

Speaker 1 Like Jesus, you have to sit and you have to be patient and wait. And it's like so fulfilling and so satisfying because it's not just self-instant gratification.

Speaker 1 Like you have to actually have to sit and give time and adore and love and let yourself be loved. I love that.
And

Speaker 1 I have a couple things to go off of that.

Speaker 1 It's like, I don't know if you're sitting here and like you want a relationship with Jesus, but you just like, you're like, no, like, I don't know if you grew up in the church and you just were taught a certain way, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 I have been watching so many things on like people leaving the faith. Right.
And I think like

Speaker 1 when you have really gotten touched by Jesus, like really, you, you, you can't go back. You can't.
So that's scripture. It says that if anyone has ever, if you leave the faith, you never knew Jesus.

Speaker 1 You never knew Jesus because you can't go back. So, I would just encourage somebody to

Speaker 1 pride kills us, ego kills us, and we think we're walking with Jesus, but we have so much pride that we're not really walking with Jesus, we just think we are. But we have a wall of pride.

Speaker 1 You have to get break down every single wall, and oftentimes that means getting broken down to getting everything stripped away.

Speaker 1 So, if you are in a season where everything has been stripped away, take it as a blessing. He is not breaking you, he's actually trying to come after you.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So good. And then

Speaker 1 I will just say that

Speaker 1 this season,

Speaker 1 I can't believe how much I'm getting revealed. How being busy is so destructive.

Speaker 1 Sometimes we have to get things done. We have to serve.
And that means like going all in.

Speaker 1 But busyness for me has always been a good thing. Do this, do that.
Okay, I did all my things. I'm done for the day.
And I look back and I can't believe how much my life is passing me by.

Speaker 1 You reach a certain age, and then all of a sudden, it's like it goes like a blip. Like, it's August.
Oops, what do you mean? It was summer's over. It was just my birthday.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 It's not to be your birthday. What are we talking about? It's, I know, it's insane.

Speaker 1 It's insane. Oh my gosh.
And so, like,

Speaker 1 life really is so precious and it's so good. And I, we are not, God did not intend us to be busy and to have our heads down and to basically be in survival mode of getting from A to B.

Speaker 1 And then I did everything. And now I got to go to bed and then I got to wake up at eight.
And do like, this is not how life was intended to be.

Speaker 1 And so I just want to say, slow down

Speaker 1 and be

Speaker 1 and feel, feel moments like I, when I wake up in the morning, I want to get up, I want to get out, I want to make my coffee, I want to do this, and then I got to look at my time and then I have to like these little moments of just being,

Speaker 1 of feeling, of even like laying in bed and spending that extra five minutes like, like, I know this sounds crazy, but like feeling my sheets and like being and looking out and like doing a new activity and looking at the trees and going to watch sunsets and just being present.

Speaker 1 Can we all be present? Because the devil wants nothing more for us to be distracted.

Speaker 1 And one of the ways is to keep us in shame and to keep us numbed out on our phones and keep us that we have to be on this regimen and we have to work, work, work and make this money and do this and do that.

Speaker 1 So good. Just relax and be present and enjoy your loved ones and enjoy your friends and watch sunsets and don't let your mind wander.

Speaker 1 And when it does, catch the thoughts and say, no, I want to be present.

Speaker 1 So that's when we encounter Jesus, when we just, when we are, like, when we just just, like, I've had these moments lately of waking up and I just, I don't rush out of bed and I look out my window and I just said, just, I love you, Lord.

Speaker 1 I love you. And it's like, it's been the sweetest thing.
Yeah. Instead of rushing, I'm so sick of rushing through life.
I really am. I'm sick of it.
I want to just be.

Speaker 1 So can we all try to do that more? Thank you so much for saying that. What about when LeCrae said to us, if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy.
Oh, that rocked me.

Speaker 1 And I literally was like, I refuse. I took, I literally made a commitment that I'm not doing any speaking engagements, that I'm not doing any going places.
I'm not doing all this stuff because I.

Speaker 1 am going to be faithful with what i have what god has given me and i am not going to let myself get so busy that my secret place is affected, which I have in the past. I'm not going to allow it.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing that. I am not.
And I, at the conference that I was at, one of the speakers said, like, and we know this, right? But like, you need to hear it again.

Speaker 1 If the devil can't make you look at porn,

Speaker 1 go do drugs, cheat on your wife, and do all this stuff. He's going to make you exhausted.
Of course. He's going to make you tired.
He's going to make you numb. He's going to make you apathetic.

Speaker 1 And he's going to you not be burning for God anymore because of how busy you are. And he's just gonna distract you.
And he's gonna put all these things in front of you that look like good things.

Speaker 1 So yeah, we cannot be so busy that we neglect Jesus or neglect time with Jesus. He has to be first.
He has to be first above all things.

Speaker 1 And I know that this might sound repetitive of what we always say, but you never graduate from Jesus having to be the first, like on the throne of your heart.

Speaker 1 You never graduate from spending time with the Lord. You never graduate from being completely submitted, surrendered, and dependent on him.

Speaker 1 Like we actually, the further you get in life and in faith and the more mature you are in Jesus, the more you have to come back to the basics of what did you do at first? You loved him.

Speaker 1 You let him love you. You let him meet you in your weaknesses.
And you remembered how fragile and frail you are. And never, we never graduate from being so fragile and needing Jesus.
Yeah. You know?

Speaker 1 And so don't believe the lie that you can get by in your own strength. You can't.

Speaker 1 Ari and I, when you weren't spending time with him, when I was not spending time when I was in New York, like we were operating out of our own strength and it was really painful. And guess what?

Speaker 1 You get nowhere. You get nowhere.
And I was so tired too. Yes.
Yeah. And so.
The minute you, who said this? Somebody said this, but the minute you think

Speaker 1 you've done it, you've actually fallen to the ground. So don't ever think that you're good.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You're never good.

Speaker 1 You have to constantly be. Quote of the day, you're never good.

Speaker 1 Like, you have to be hanging on to his hem

Speaker 1 at every minute.

Speaker 1 Everything that Ari and I talked today about today, I feel like boils down to one of our favorite verses, which is, we do not have a high priest that cannot empathize in our weaknesses.

Speaker 1 He was tempted in all points as we are, yet without sin. Therefore we come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain help and mercy in a time of need.

Speaker 1 Meaning Jesus, because he was human like us, experienced everything we did, was tempted in every single way that we were,

Speaker 1 although he didn't sin. But he understands us.

Speaker 1 And even in the little things, my pastor yesterday said the most profound thing. He goes,

Speaker 1 he goes, you know, some people might think about like sex and drugs and blah, blah, blah. Sure, maybe Jesus wasn't tempted in those ways.
But imagine God

Speaker 1 in flesh has all the power in the universe to do whatever he wants. Jesus could maybe like like, okay, that's posthumous, but like he can like literally be like, like he could do anything.

Speaker 1 He could like,

Speaker 1 he could be like a warlock or a wizard with powers if he wanted to and just make things happen.

Speaker 1 And like imagine all of like the inconveniences throughout his life, day-by-day inconveniences that he could just like at the snap of a finger, make something shift, move, change, get out of his way, little obstacles.

Speaker 1 Imagine the self-control and the restraint that he had to have to not exercise power in a way that wasn't in accordance with God's will. Like imagine like the insane self-control that that took.

Speaker 1 And so Jesus is our high priest. He understands everything that we've ever been through, everything we've ever experienced.
And that's why we don't have to hide.

Speaker 1 That's why God sent Jesus in the first place, so he could understand us, so he could walk like us, so we didn't have to be naked and ashamed and afraid and hiding, because we can look at God in his face, in all of his holiness and other thanness.

Speaker 1 And we can look at him and be like, you understand me. I just betrayed you, disobeyed you, did something awful.
I've been unfaithful, but you get it. So I can show my face to you.

Speaker 1 I can look directly into heaven and I don't have to hide my face.

Speaker 1 And this amazing scripture that's, and I think what we really want you guys to know is that you don't have to do it in your own strength. You don't change yourself.
We partner with God.

Speaker 1 So we make choices and decisions that aid in what the Holy Spirit is already doing in us. But he who is faithful, he who began a good work is faithful to bring it to completion.

Speaker 1 The Holy Spirit begins the work in us at salvation. And then he's faithful to bring it to completion.
He He brings it to completion. It doesn't say that you and I do it.
God does it.

Speaker 1 The Holy Spirit does it. However, we help him and we aid him in that process, but it is so empowering to know that I actually have nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 Jesus himself enters into my body and empowers me and gives me grace to become the person that he wants me to be, to stop numbing out, to stop being distracted. And we bring it to God in prayer.

Speaker 1 We have to bring it to Jesus in prayer. And one of my favorite scriptures, therefore,

Speaker 1 he is able once and forever to save those who come to God through him.

Speaker 1 Jesus lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf. Jesus lives forever.
He's alive.

Speaker 1 He's in heaven, seated at the right hand of God, and he lives forever to intercede on our behalf, meaning that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, Jesus is alive, breathing in heaven, making intercession for us.

Speaker 1 And so imagine this picture. We pray.
I pray and I say, God, I need you. Imagine Jesus is in heaven and he goes,

Speaker 1 They need you. And he says it to God.
So every prayer that we pray is amplified into God's ears. That's our connection to God.
That's why we needed Jesus because we didn't have that access to God.

Speaker 1 We didn't have that connection. But because Jesus stands and mediates and is our high priest between us and God, every prayer that we pray, Jesus amplifies into God's ears.

Speaker 1 He gives directly to the Father. I love that.
Isn't that crazy? That really just

Speaker 1 helped me this morning. If you ever think he's disappointed, you have to remember this picture.
He's not disappointed. He's literally your middleman, amplifying your prayers.

Speaker 1 Amplifying. That is so sweet.

Speaker 1 I loved loved that. Isn't that crazy? That is so sweet.
It makes me want to cry. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love Jesus. I love Jesus.

Speaker 1 You need to know who he is. We have to have a right view of him.

Speaker 1 And if we spend the next 10 years on this podcast, coming on here every week, never saying anything new, profound, impressive, but we remind people every week, this is who he is.

Speaker 1 Don't believe the lie that he's disappointed. Don't believe the lie that he's mad.
This is who he is. Don't hide your face.
That's what we'll do.

Speaker 1 That we should be saying this every single episode. And I have chill bumps.
And this is even from myself. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 You don't graduate from this. Like you do.
Awesome. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was just a beautiful moment for me to watch. You're so cute.
I loved that. That was awesome.
We're going to read. We're going to just gonna, you guys can just sit.

Speaker 1 And even if you just want to close your eyes and just take in these scriptures right now, Um,

Speaker 1 these are scriptures for protection and strength and confidence and just God's covering. So, if you just

Speaker 1 let every distraction go right now and just close your eyes, and we're just going to speak scripture over you right now:

Speaker 1 Psalm 91: Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Speaker 1 We will say of the Lord, Lord, He is our refuge and our fortress, our God in whom we can trust.

Speaker 1 Surely He will save you from the fouler snare and from the deadly pestilence.

Speaker 1 He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Speaker 1 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilent pestilent that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

Speaker 1 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

Speaker 1 If you say, the Lord is my refuge, say it quietly to yourself, say, the Lord is my refuge.

Speaker 1 And you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, No disaster will come near your tent, for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

Speaker 1 They will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

Speaker 1 You will tread on the lion and the cobra. You will trample the great lion and the serpent.

Speaker 1 Because he loves you, says the Lord.

Speaker 1 He says, I will rescue him.

Speaker 1 I will protect.

Speaker 1 He says, I will, I will rescue him.

Speaker 1 He says, The Lord says, I will rescue you. I will protect you.

Speaker 1 For you acknowledge my name.

Speaker 1 You will call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble, he says.
I will deliver you and honor you. With long life, I will satisfy you and show you my salvation.

Speaker 1 We thank you guys so much for listening today. We thank you for just being our friends and doing this journey with us and

Speaker 1 being honest. Let this, let this, let today be

Speaker 1 a day of honesty, a day to just be, a day to just have the joy of the Lord, a day to just

Speaker 1 let it all out and let it make you free. Just be free today.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just

Speaker 1 repent and let it go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for everything. Thanks for being our friends.
And we love doing life in this journey with you and chasing Jesus together. Thank you for letting us speak into your life and into your journey.

Speaker 1 We love you guys so much. And really quickly, we break shame in the name of Jesus in your life.
We break every distraction.

Speaker 1 We break every single demonic attack that is on your life to pull you away from Jesus. We throw off the things that hinder us in our relationship with God and we press on towards the things of Jesus.

Speaker 1 And we just speak the blood of Jesus over your minds, your bodies, and your spirits, and your relationship with Jesus. We plead the blood in Jesus' name.
We love you guys.

Speaker 1 May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May He turn his face towards you and give you peace. Love you.
Shalom, Shalom. Love you guys.