Girly Convo About Boys | Girls Gone Bible

Last night, before bed, I'm like, Jesus, I just want to have an encounter with you. Do you think you could come in my dreams? Like, can I encounter you in my dreams? Because I don't really remember my dreams often.
And so I wake up this morning. I have the most vivid dreams all night that I, me and you go to a tattoo shop.
And you convince me to be more edgy. So I get tattoos tattoos all over my legs I'm getting like American flags on my thighs on the right here I have like I don't even know just all these things and I had an epiphany and I go to you and I go Angela why do you why did you have me get tattoos all over my legs? It's summer and I want to wear a sundress

and I look crazy

and I'm trying to scrub them off

and I'm calling all these tattoo shops

asking if they can remove them.

I understand.

So if you guys,

and then as I was coming in here,

I'm like, wait a minute.

Maybe that's not crazy.

Maybe that does mean something,

but I can't really find anything that it means. if you guys so if you guys know we're good if it's a symbolism of getting a tattoo on your body oh my god I wonder wait that is so funny that's you know that's my dream is to get a tattoo I know she wants to I want to get matching tattoos with you so badly i know that would you think you would ever consider doing maybe i would get like a white one on the back like okay ggv or something or across you know you can get a white white tattoo yeah but i want i want true, like, pull out.
Do you think I'd look weird with it? I don't know. You wouldn't look weird.
Like, would I pull a tattoo off? You could pull anything off, but I don't know if it's. Like, this one on the back of you, sometimes I look at it and I'm like, man, I want to get it.
Oh, man. Oh, man.
Anyways, so, yeah, I love GGB question sessions. I looked over it last night, and probably half of the questions were about John, which I don't blame you guys.
Angela posted her amazing new boyfriend, John, who is my best friend. He's the greatest.
I will be the first one to say he's truly the greatest person I have ever met in my entire life. So God really did come through for that one in our prayers.
I'll just say that I used to sit in prayer for Ange and, like, pray on what I wanted her to have. And everything that God brought her was exactly what John is.
Wow. And I know everybody is so excited for you.
And it's just crazy seeing all the comments. It's so kind.
Because we've been in this waiting season since we started our journey, basically. So for everyone to see you wait and to see how all this unfolds, I'm sure it gives so many of you guys hope.
So, yeah, one of the questions was, can we know about John? How did you meet him? I know so many girls in their single season are like, how do I meet someone? Do I have to go looking? I saw so many of you guys ask that. Like, do I have to put myself out there? How do I meet a good godly man? Are there godly men out there? Can you kind of, you know, about that yeah it's so it's so sweet it's so the response that people gave us was truly so kind and like yeah I think I've just never I haven't like posted a guy since I was maybe 21 like on you know on the feed a hard launch is like a hard is...
That's when you know it's it. Well, because in our position, it's like you don't...
You can't just post someone who, like, you may... You know what I mean? It just sets you up for a lot of stress if for any reason, like, it doesn't work out, like, putting yourself out there.
So, obviously, this is our first time being in any sort of public public what anything and so to take the step to hard launch somebody is like it was a lot and it was really thought through and it was like a long time coming um because it's just a lot it's a lot of pressure you never know what i don't you know i've just like seen people do that like hard launch somebody go public with somebody you know like it's a big deal like we're freaking Angelina and Brad and like anybody cares I'm out of all the celebrities Angelina and Brad or I don't know like anyone you know what I mean it's not like people care but you just never know and I guess I'm just so protective and so like this man is probably one of the most private people I've ever known in my life. And like I will actually kill someone if anybody says anything bad about him.
So and then to yeah, get the response that I did. I just couldn't believe how much GGB gang is like, like I know you guys are invested in our lives.
But it truly I was in tears all day long being like, I can't believe that our people love us this much and you care this much and you've been so invested and you know what really made me feel seen I was like I had so many people be like you know with Angela's standards and the way that she talks about men like we know he's got to be good so I just felt so heard by you guys I was like because sometimes you don't know you don't know if people hear anything you say you know and it was just so like it it it made such an impact on my life because it was just so sweet but yeah so sweet baby John that's what he is sweet PR seriously yeah one bad bone in his body yeah he um I'll just tell a little bit of the because we won't spend obviously the whole episode talking about this but I just feel like ggb gang especially the girlies like you deserve you deserve the story because you've been in it with us you've seen us transform you've seen us go through a lot so and like yeah it's just, it's very God. Like the whole thing is really, really Jesus.
So I was in a singleness. I was true.
I was single for like almost a year before we started dating a little bit less than that. I was like truly single.
I went through like a six month period. Do you guys remember at the beginning of last year over Christmas, two Christmases ago, I felt like I got a word from God.
And back then, I honestly, I was not secure or confident in my ability to hear God yet. So I wouldn't like fully commit to something that he would tell me.
I would kind of like say it as a joke, like, oh, God said this, ha ha ha, we'll see. So I would always joke, like God told me I have to be single for six months.
I'm pretty sure I said it on the podcast. Like I'd always be like six months, six months.
I had this number in my head. And so for six months, you guys, I went through the most brutal, starving of, we talked about on GGB plus a little bit where like in order for some of the old Angela to die, she had to die by starvation.
And so there was parts of me that had to be, had to be starved. Like I had to be starved of attention, starved of affection.
I had gone my whole life, as a lot of you know, like being in relationships my whole life, like constantly always talking to someone or just like always having somebody, even a male friend, feeding that part of me. I didn't even realize that like even my male friendships, there's probably a little something that fed that part of you that needs validation from men.
And so I went through this like radical commitment with Jesus of like, I literally didn't even have male friends. I was like, I can't even have guy friends.
I can't even, I just can't get attention from anybody because it's feeding a part of myself that God wants to die before I meet my person. And so I go through six months of, I mean, I didn't even look in anybody's direction.
And I know that six months might not sound like a long time, but I think in the grand scheme of things of like being in relationships my whole life and almost never being alone, six months was like a lot and it was very intense and I felt it. And we've talked about this so much how like it's just so weird like what you go through in that time of like you don't feel beautiful you don't feel desired you don't feel like there's so many things that you lose you don't feel feminine and womanly like that's how I felt for a while and it was I can honestly say those six months were probably the hardest of my life and I had to learn how to value myself for the things that God values me for which aren't your looks your body your flirting you know what I mean it was really like it was brutal and I know a lot of people I just know that this is how God works in a lot of people's lives.
And I know that a lot of girls that I hear talking, like I'm, you know, I just want to feel desired. I just want to, I want to just at least be asked out on a date.
Like I want to know somebody is pursuing me and like, yes, but also being hidden as painful as it is, is the greatest gift.

You don't need attention from men who aren't going to be your husband. I can't believe that I talk like this.
If you told me that years ago, I would have been like, that girl's a weirdo talking like that. But it's the truth.
You don't need attention from men who aren't your husband. It's just delaying the process, you know? And I'm not saying that dating is bad, but I just think that God really utilizes that hiddenness in your singleness, obviously.
But anyway, so I go through this six months of like so much shedding, so much sanctification. I mean, you can literally see it in my face, my eyes, the way I speak, the way I behave.
God put my feet to the fire, and the purification was really intense and really painful and really uncomfortable. And I was miserable.
And I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I was just like, Ari knows. I struggled.
It was so hard. The singleness was hard.
And I also had an awareness of what God was producing in me. And I knew, I just knew it was for a reason.
And I heard that six months. Anyways, flash forward, I get a call from my agent, our Ari and I's book agent, who is like somewhat of a matchmaker herself.
And she calls calls it's just the funniest story in the world and i can't wait for john to tell it from his perspective one day because it's just it's insane he goes my agent calls me and goes um hey i have a blind date for you and gives me a um gives me a description of him she's like he is handsome but wouldn't identify with that. He is the definition of humility.
He loves Jesus more than anything. He builds orphanages in India and does missions in other parts of the world.
And his life is fully, fully laid down and surrendered to Jesus. And I'm like, okay, love him.
And then, you know, they send me a photo. She sends sends me a photo of him I can tell that this photo is from like years ago like I'm like he literally looks like 15 in this photo and I was like I love this guy he had do you guys remember do you remember I said it on the podcast I said whoever I end up with has no social media and doesn't take photos of himself let's have to find it do you guys remember guys he doesn't have social media and he couldn't he didn't even have a photo of himself that he could send me and this is a very cute like man like he and he didn't take photos of himself absolutely insane yeah I think your story has instilled in me that you really should write down exactly what you want and be very specific.
Because everything that you wanted, you got. Yeah.
That's so true. I agree completely.
Getting specific is one of the best things you can do. Yeah.
Because that's how you partner with God, like in the details, in the specifics.

He's like, what do you want?

Right.

Ask me.

Ask Anusha.

It really is.

Do you remember that woman that we met that one time and she said,

she like didn't get married until a little bit later and she realized that,

she asked God, like, why haven't you brought me my husband? And she felt that she heard God say, you have not because you ask not. Yeah.
And then she asked and she said, okay, bring me my husband and she said and she felt that she heard God say you have not because you ask God yeah and then she asked and she said okay bring me my husband and make him like this and like this and then God brought her exactly who she was asking for he goes out to dinner with his dad and his dad's best friends yeah and one of his dad's best friends was like why are you single like we got to find you a girl whatever and he's like. And he's like, I just can't, like, I haven't found anyone that I, like, am captivated by, that I, like, I'm not willing to settle for somebody unless I'm captivated by them.
Like, that was his thing. Like, he could settle for, you know, he could find someone to be with and marry, but he wanted to be captivated.
And that just goes to show that, like, you're allowed allowed to of course you value so many things before you value like romantic just like in love feeling but that's also equally as important don't settle don't um and then so one of his dad's friends was like why like why haven't you found a girl whatever and they're like thinking about girls and he's like i'm not gonna i don't think i'm gonna find anyone where i. And they're like thinking about girls.
And he's like, I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to find anyone where I live. And they're like thinking about other cities, like women they know, girls they know.
And then his dad goes, hey, his dad is literally my world. I love you so much, Mark.
He's the best person in the world. And he's the reason why we're together.
So bless Mark. Mark goes, hey, have you guys heard of those girls gone Bible girls? And then he's like, there are these girls and whatever.
And then one of his dad's best friends goes, Hey, I think I have the same book agent as them calls our agent makes the connection. Long story short, John sends me a text.
He's like, Hey, I agree to go out. I have never had more peace in my life than this situation.
I barely knew what that man looked like. I didn't know anything, and I knew.
I'm a knower. I don't hear audibly.
I don't really have visions. I just know deep in my heart.
I knew. I was like, this is crazy.
This is crazy. Man flew to LA to take me on a date, which is just the sweetest thing in the world.
He picks me up the first day. We go to dinner.
The one thing about John that I thought was really special is like people, and it's natural, people like you meet them and they try to appeal to you. Like it just happens like with, you know, not even with like, you can be a good person, but you can't help it.
Like you try to mirror the other person because you want them to like you and you want to be what, you know, you think they want. And so oftentimes in the past, I always was met with guys who like over spiritualized themselves and set them up as these guys that were more spiritually active or advanced than they really were.
And then I find out later, like, that's, it's not really the case. And that was always hard for me because they would know that what I wanted and they would pretend to be that, but it wasn't real.
And so with John, like, they would really oversell it. With John, I didn't even know if this man really, like, I knew he loved Jesus, but, like, he didn't play anything up.
He didn't try to, he didn't brat, like, he's just, like, so humble, so down to earth, so quiet. He didn't oversell anything.
And I was, like, and now looking back and I'm, like, he is the most spiritually gifted person I think I've ever met in my life. And he didn't play it up at all, you know? Yeah.
Like, yeah, there were sparks for sure. I liked him and I thought he was really and we were getting along really well but it wasn't like worldly relationships that is just like like that immediate like that feeling like that do you think it's true that when you have that butterfly feeling that that's not love that's nerves's actually, you know, it's real when there's just a piece.

Yes.

I'm so happy you say that because I've heard that before that if you have butterflies and it might, you know, every case is different.

But every time I've ever had butterflies and been really like nervous, it usually wasn't right.

Like, you know, this it was one of the most peaceful, like meetings with someone that I've ever had in my life. It was no pressure.
So peaceful. Here's my heart.
Here's mine. We didn't go like too, too deep on the first date.
Um, but we, we said enough that that's what I like about our relationship. It was so gradual.
Our spiritual lives didn't start to merge right away. That's another thing I always used to do in the past.
We'd start reading the Bible and praying and combining our spiritual lives like we were married within a week, you know, and that's so unhealthy. And John really led so well in that area.
He wouldn't even pray with me until like four months in, like, because he's like, we don't need that soul tie until until he just he really let it so well I didn't know that yeah and then um so you so it's just and that's a great indication to what I love about your story is that so many of us feel like we have to I don't know even for me I'm like do I I to really go out. Like I'm just, I don't like going, I love to go to dinner with my friends, but I don't want to feel pressured to be out all the time, especially because I'm exhausted.
I work a lot. And where are you going to meet someone at the bar? That's what I mean, you know? So it's like, and then sometimes it puts that pressure on men and women that we have to do all these things and go to all these places.
While I do think you can't sit in the house and you do need to push yourself because it is hard now to just like go out. I know for me, I'm a homebody.
But your story is a great indication of trusting, knowing the appointed time and letting God just place you when he wants to place you with the right person. And that's, your story has brought me a lot of comfort because you didn't try.
You didn't, you didn't try to do all these things. You simply just were, you simply were just like, whenever your time is, I know you're going to put the right person in front of me at the right time.
And that's what happened. And I truly believe with my whole heart that's what God does for us women.
I agree completely. People ask a lot, like, should I be going out? Should I be looking? And I don't want to, like, it's so hard because I don't want to give, like, a blanket statement of what people should be.
Because It is different in every case. But I truly believe that God will do things for you that you will never be able to do for yourself.
And I don't think, especially as women, like, yes, I mean, if you literally don't know anybody and nobody knows you, like, it's kind of hard. You've got to put yourself out there somehow to be in community, to make friends.
I think the best way to meet someone honestly is by word of mouth, like not like meeting someone out at a party and then, which could happen, but it's more so like if you're rooted in good community and that person is rooted in good community and there's some sort of crossover, like that's the best way in my opinion. So it's just like being the person that God wants you to be in godly spaces.
I think that's the best way because that's what happened. I know someone who knows somebody else and they connected us.
But I agree with you completely. I don't think I know you don't need to be going out every night looking.
You know what I mean? Nobody does. And if you are struggling with community, church is the first place.
I I mean what better place to meet someone than at church getting into a bible study or some kind of community group where you can build that and then meet people through there totally um yeah that's it was really special and you know what the best thing about John was he didn't like I knew he liked me me, but he wasn't overly invested whatsoever. He wasn't overcompensating.
There was no fear. He wasn't like, oh, my gosh, I have to like have her.
So I need to like do. He was so chill and so laid back, but also equally as intentional, like flying to L.A.
very intentional. There was no funny business.
Like we knew from the jump, what was going on. There wasn't any, obviously any sort of question, like, are we doing this? Are we, is this a date? Like there was nothing like that.
There was no confusion. And then on the third day that we hung out, he said, just letting you know, um, I'm pursuing you and I'm going to intentionally pursue you.
And he says it in a way that's like, not weird, not too much, like nothing about it was too much. He simply like, just so with such, like, it's just masculinity.
Like that's what masculinity is sitting there and being like, I don't need you, but I'm also not going to make you. I'm also secure enough to let you know how I feel.
You know, that's someone who, who is, who's close to God. They don't have that anxious attachment.
Right, exactly. Yeah, he's very healthy.
Intentionality equals safety. Men, if you're listening to this, hear me.
Exactly. If you want to know how to make someone feel safe, be intentional.
John's the guy you look at and you're like, yeah, he's been with Jesus. He's been with Jesus.
He's someone who's been with Jesus. He exemplifies all of Jesus' traits.
He reminds me of Jesus. Just so humble but so strong and so caring and cares for people.
It's just he's everything good in the world. And, yeah,'s he's really good guys he really is and I know that you guys are gonna have a john too so just don't anyone who's single you guys are gonna have a john 100 and just don't settle until the most man of god comes into your life like that's all I would encourage you guys with is just wait for the most man of God, because it's just so worth it.
It's so worth it. I think about like all the times I could have settled and I'm like, thank you, Jesus, that nothing worked out.
Thank you, Jesus, that you put me through the fire and honestly that I could become somebody

that I could become somebody that would mesh with someone like John. All right guys before we really get into today's episode we just want to remind you that we are on the Girls Gone Bible live tour and we're so excited we want you guys to come join us you can get your tickets at girlsgonebible.com slash tour.
We are having the most beautiful nights. GGB nights are something that we won't forget for the rest of our lives.
We get to meet you guys, hang out with you guys, hug you, pray over you, minister to you. We get to experience the glory of God, the manifest presence of God all together in a room because he always shows up when you worship him truly and rightly.
He shows up. He promises that he shows up and he really does at GGB night.
So please get your tickets and join us. As you have no idea how amazing it's been since starting GGB Plus, we always say it, but it's a time where it's like being with our best friends, where we get deep and intimate and talk about things that we wouldn't normally talk about on Girls Gone Bible.
And so it's just given us the opportunity to really go deep and personal and get even more vulnerable if you can imagine. So go to girlsgonebible.com slash plus.
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Like society has deceived us so much. And I remember when I turned 30 and I thought my life was over.
And one of the most special things about Girls Gone Bible is that we aren't two girls who come on here because we know it all. we're two girls who literally have to be exposed because we're going through the fire in real time with you.
And so I am in this place with you. And I just want to let you know that God had put me in a place of not bringing me things till I was in my 30s.
I mean, I share this with you guys a lot, but I wish I had someone in their 30s when I was going through my complete isolation and singleness of being like, I'm in it too. And I just want to let you know that if God would have brought me the things that he had any earlier, or it would have never worked out, I would not be ready.
And if it's one thing I know about Jesus is his time, not ours, his will be done, not our will be done. And so I, I remember this picture vividly.
I was, I was living in the studio apartment and I was just laying there and it was at the time where I had just lost everything. And I was looking up at my ceiling and my heart was just completely hardened and I couldn't even feel anything.
I was completely disassociated and I was like, my life is truly over. All I've ever wanted to do was have a marriage, be a wife, make something of myself.
And here I am in the very place of what I never wanted to be in. And little did I know my life had just begun in my thirties.
And even if you are 30 and you feel like you don't have anything, you have no idea what He wants to bring to you. And even now in my singleness, there are things that He is still burning out of me, teaching me.
I'm still learning. I'm still growing.
Maybe I think I'm ready, but I know that God knows so much better than me. And I would have never been able to do what I do if I was in a relationship.
There are so many things and it hurts and it's hard. And there's days where you're going to wrestle with God and you're going to watch everyone around you and these beautiful relationships.
And you're going to wonder why it hasn't happened for you. I know I feel like that at times.
It's really frustrating and that's okay. And what I realized is like, I have to give myself grace sometimes because I feel all these feelings.
And then I have this feeling of, wait a minute, do I not trust you, God? And God's being like, no, but just deal with it with me. It's okay that you feel this way.
It's normal. I want you to know that if you don't have something, if you don't have something in this time of your life, whether it's a job, whether it's you're single and you're still waiting, I promise you because God isn't finished with you yet.
And everything is about timing. It's his timing.
And if you can just remind yourself of that and find verses in the Bible that he talks about that, that's what he talks about. His time, his will be done.
I literally will repeat that to myself. Whenever I start to feel sad, I'll be like, your will be done, not my will be done.
But don't hide the way you feel. Don't try to, I've done that so many times recently, even with friends where I've just been like, no, I'm good.
I'm good. And I wasn't good.
And it only makes me feel worse. So talking it out with people being like, I feel frustrated.
I know I did that with you recently where I was like, I'm really frustrated. I'm having a hard time.
Like, and I can't even tell you, it felt like this weight that has been sitting on my chest was like, got lifted off of me simply because I leaned on a friend friend but like just leaning on someone and talking it out and then reminding yourself who the God we serve and how he's been with us through everything in our lives he's not gonna fail you if he came down and gave his life for us don't you think he'll give you everything you need so it's just reminder. And I just hope you don't feel alone because me and so many other GGB family, we're all in this position too.
So you're not alone. You're definitely not alone.
And I just want to, just off of what Ari just said about like God's timing. If I have learned anything, it's that in your waiting, it's not even, yes, it's that God, it's like the perfect timing for things to fall into place together.
Like, yes, that's an aspect of it. But it's, it's also the fact that God is producing something in you through your waiting.
Every time that you're uncomfortable, this has been what like the last year of my life has been, is that in the midst of my most uncomfortable moments where I have my whole life never known how to process emotion, never known. I grew up in an environment where there was no conversation about feelings ever.
So I had to learn how God is forcing me to face things, deal with things, address issues, process emotion. And why do you think I've turned to alcohol so much in my life? Why do you think I turned to men in relationships? Because I was always numbing, always avoiding when God was asking me to lean in.
You're not supposed to just endure suffering and waiting feels like suffering, but you're not just supposed to endure suffering. You're supposed to engage in it.
And that's what I feel God asking me to do all the time. Now, when I'm suffering, when I'm uncomfortable, my, I mean, I don't really have anything to numb out with anymore, except like my phone.
So I'll catch myself going into Instagram and I watch all these videos and I just go like this and it numbs me. And God is like, throw your phone away, engage, lean in.
I am forming myself in you through this. And so in your waiting, it's not just passive waiting.
That's what I beg you guys. There's something that he's doing in you and he's trying to speak and he's trying to tell you, hey, I need we need to work on this.
I need to work on this. We have to face this.
We have to address this. He's producing something beautiful.
There's so much fruit that will come from your waiting and the suffering and the uncomfortability in your waiting, especially for a person. And in those feelings of feeling undesired and not beautiful and not pursued and not loved, like he's even producing something in you in that, that dependency on him, you're going to thank him later.
That's what I've realized. You will thank him later.
Things have to die in you and things have to be produced in you. And it only happens in your waiting.
So trust his timing and thank him in advance, even if you don't feel it. And say, thank you for how uncomfortable and disgusting and awful this feels.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I think about my own life, too. Like, I'm—thank God what he is burning out of me now.
And thank God I don't have to do this while I'm in a relationship because there is so much that I didn't even know.

I had like so many things that I'm unlearning

that I've had been taught since a little girl

that it's almost like I'm being re-raised.

It's insane.

Like this journey for me has been insane.

Like he's re-raising me and helping me unlearn so many things that I have been accustomed to since I was a little girl. And so the biggest blessing, and it's the one thing I thank him every morning for, is thank you for letting me do this without someone because this would be incredibly hard.
So it's like when I finally get into this new relationship, I'm anchored. I'm confident in him.
I think that's been such a blessing in my single season. And I love that you say that because it's uncomfortable.
It's been really uncomfortable. I've had to face a lot of things, a lot of uncomfortability about myself that I never knew about.
And so being re-raised and having him just

help me unlearn all these things. I'm just, you're going to thank him later that he did this, just the two of you rather than bringing someone in the middle of it.
Cause it's hard, you know? I mean, what you're saying about how he raised you, he's re-raising you, like he's fathering you and he's fathering both of us. And he's, he's giving us that fatherly voice that, that like shapes you and forms you and like creates healthy patterns and like emotions in your life.
And my favorite thing about Jesus is that he really is like a double-edged sword. He heals where he cuts.
He cuts you first. Like, that's the one thing he does with me that I can, and with you too, I'm pretty sure, like, that we, it's so annoying in a sense because it's like, I don't want to face this.
I don't want to talk about it. That's my response is like, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to deal with it. But he cuts you open because he's pulling something out and then he will bind up the wound but he has to cut you first yeah and so I'm like the unlearning of things is probably the hardest yeah because you know yeah because you if you especially from some of us who didn't grow up in Christian homes and we didn't have that.

You know, we grew up.

It's all about how it starts when you're a kid.

And when you have grown up learning a certain way and getting taught certain things and not dealing with feelings and, you know, living in dysfunction and chaos or whatever it is.

It's very difficult as you become an adult and then you're in a relationship. And, you know, for me, it's just been, it's been insane.
I truly feel like I am a young girl again, relearning everything. And every day it's like, teach me because I thought I knew.
I thought I knew like I need you to teach me And because I have got it all wrong my whole life. So it's like a constant of search my heart, search me, help me, help me, help me be in the image of you.
I am nothing. I am so far from perfect, but I need help because in order to have a healthy relationship, and we talked to someone who said this, in order to have a healthy relationship, it all starts with you.

It all starts with you being healthy.

And to be healthy starts with relationship with Jesus.

And it's really uncomfortable.

And you will kick and scream.

And you will feel at times like you just want to give up because the Christian walk is one of the hardest things

you will ever do, but it is so worth it. It's so worth it.

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code ggb so they know i sent you what's one thing you still need to be delivered from ggb girls I mean so many things

I you know what I've realized? What's so interesting about this whole walk is you start out, you're from the world, you become a Christian, you start following Jesus, and it's all the big sin that feels like the problem. It's the drinking, it's the sex, it's the this, it's the that, it's all the bad things, it's the swearing or like whatever, all those things.
And then you realize like, oh, no, actually those are just symptoms of deep-rooted issues. And those are actually a lot easier to lay down because when you get delivered from like alcohol or swearing or impurity or like all that stuff it's like you get delivered and you lay it down and you're all set you know and God like works supernaturally like that like that's how it always is for me I could lay things down like this and then he's like okay thank you We sifted through all the garbage.
We got rid of

all the symptoms and now I can get to work in your heart. And then what's been crazy for me, specifically the past six months of my life, God has taken me into like deep, deep, deep heart work and trauma work and I come from a family who anyone who is an immigrant family, like it's very normal for us.
You, you all, every Albanian girl that I know and anyone with like a similar culture to me, like your parent, like they don't talk about trauma. Like nobody talks about trauma.
Nobody values heart work. It's just not a conversation.
Like, like rightfully so these people are like trying to survive and leaving that fleeing from their countries. And like, you know what I mean? And so for me, like God has had to father me in my own heart and take me through deep, deep heart work.
And there's so much, there's so much. And then he and then he you you it feels like you're healing

from one thing and then another impurity comes up and then another trauma and then another issue and oh that's why I'm like this oh there's this fear in there so I think for me I'm like I mean specifically right now in this season I just like any like guards that I had like how you feel I feel like, any like guards that I had, like how you feel? I feel like a child. I feel like a kid and I know it's amazing and I know it's beautiful, but I am exhausted and I'm like so, I don't know.
It's just really hard and like I'm grateful for the journey and I'm grateful for all of it. But I just feel like a kid.
Like I feel like I'm having to, I've spent my whole life putting up walls and guarding my heart. And like, like we've talked about it before, like, you know, taking a position of power and I don't care and blah, blah, blah.
And like, it's almost like I'm not even choosing to, but God's just not letting me act like that that so I'm having to face everything and it's beautiful but I'm in pain and I am like it's so vulnerable and so yeah I think I'm being continually delivered from just childhood patterns of of sweeping things under the rug and pretending like things are okay when they're not and it's's just, it's hard. And it, my biggest issue with it is it just feels like it's all the time.
Yeah. You know, it feels like it's always something and, and I don't want it to be like that, but I just feel like that's where God has me and I'm choosing to lean into it.
Like if I've learned anything, my automatic, and I think you're the same way, is that like my default is disassociation like something's too much disassociate something's too much I'm put like I can literally detach from my emotions I've done it my entire life and it's as if God like took away that ability I can't do it anymore and I'm making the decision to engage in every uncomfortable feeling and issue. Did I answer the question?

Yeah. One of my biggest battles, this is the first one I can think of, I think I struggle a lot with feeling adequate.
it. I think my confidence has gotten so much better, but I still very much struggle.
Like,

am I good enough for this? Am I, did I do okay? Did I sound stupid? I have found myself a lot recently actually like feeling kind of stupid, feeling like what I said is not good enough um and so I think I'm really trying to I don't know I've just always struggled with that like with my mind and my like just feeling just not adequate I mean and now that I'm on girl's gone bible and I expose a lot on here, and I'm very vulnerable, and I'm very open,

and that's been really tough. It's been very freeing, but it's also very tough because I'm like, I felt so accepted by being vulnerable, but at the same time, I think when you struggle with your mind and your thought life and not feeling good enough, it's also equally really hard, and so I'm just trying to that's been something that has been a battle for me just like struggling with confidence and feeling good enough and God has shown me so much that the very things that I was about to say and the very things that I've always doubted myself and my weaknesses, he shined his glory through every weakness and used it as my strength.
And he's so funny like that. That's what he'll do.
The very things that you think that you lack in, he uses for his glory. And he did that with me.
I never felt good enough. I never felt smart enough.
And he said, oh, yeah, well, I'm going to use all that for my glory. And so I know I'm learning and I'm real.
I know that it's not about what we think we are, how wise we are, how long we've been in school or if we have a college degree. He is our wisdom.
He is. and he is.
And, um, can I please truly your wisdom

is literally what saves people. You are so incredibly wise.
You haven't even been a

Christian for like following Jesus for three years and your wisdom, I'm sorry, I'm just going to say

it. We sit up on panels with people who have been Christians their whole lives and you not only keep up, but you, like your wisdom shines and you know that.
And you have the voices that tell you that that's not the truth, but you equally like, you're very aware. You're aware how wise you are.
and like your wisdom in your vulnerability but it's

wisdom like you it's lived experience it's something that can't be bought with a college degree yeah you've lived more life than the average person and so it you have a lot to offer yeah but I'm noticing thank you for saying that I'm just I'm noticing that that is one of the biggest battles even in in kids, like young girls, even guys, like the mind. The mind is everything.
That's like our biggest battle for all of us is the mind. It attacks.
It tells us lies. It keeps us not doing what we want to do.
It keeps us slaves in our mind. I was a slave in my mind my whole life since I was a little girl.
And so, um, but I'm aware of it and the word has healed me. Jesus, the being in the, in my secret place with the word has healed me so much, but it's still an ongoing battle.
And I think it's encouraging for people to know that Satan will always, always, always, always accuse you in every area of your life and specifically in your adequacy because then you won't do anything.

Then you won't try.

Of course he's going to attack you.

And no matter how much confidence you gain in Jesus, don't ever expect the attacks to stop coming.

The weapon will be formed, but it won't prosper. So he's going to accuse you.
He's going to attack you. But with your tools and your ability and your experience with Jesus, you're able to overcome those thoughts and ask Jesus, hey, speak truth.
I'm listening to this insane lie that I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough.
Literally, you can look at the evidence of your life and you know that that's not the truth. But do you know what I'm realizing? And I see it in so many other people's life.
Now that I see where God put me, I'm like, no wonder why I'm attacked so much in the mind. No wonder why that's the one thing he attacks so much in my life is my mind.
Of course, now look at my life. Duh.
So it's like I... Elaborate on that.
Why? like I elaborate on that why because that's what God

used because that's what God used and that's actually my strength I'm not I'm not in it I'm

not stupid I'm not um like all these things that I thought I was since I was a little girl look at

where I am like God you know what I mean and so and I see that in so many other people I see

the most beautiful people the most kindest people and they're the ones who suffer the most

I'm so significant. They're kind, but they don't feel kind.
They're beautiful, yet they feel unattractive. And it's so, so I, I know that, and I've seen it so much, even with you guys, when I'm, when we meet you guys at the shows.
And so I always tell myself, oh, he's attacking me with this. That's because I'm actually, the devil is scared because he knows I'm about to do something good.
It's because I'm at the actual opposite. Yeah, exactly.
And so when you are getting attacked like that, it's because you're carrying something so special. I love that so it's so true dealing with forgiveness versus the healing process maybe I'll talk a little bit of forgiveness you can talk about healing whatever yeah go ahead are you want to start no no you forgiveness is something that I wrestled with God a lot about and even at times when I've talked about forgiveness I've then went home and said God am I preaching the right message because I still feel angry in my heart that's the truth um forgiveness has really been one of the biggest battles for me because I I I it is I don't know like it's been something that I I've like I when I listen to people and they're like you have to forgive them if you want to go to the next level of your life, if you want God to forgive you,

and then I hear these stories of people being like, so I forgave them and I was free. And I would listen to these people and I was like, how?

And I was so embarrassed to actually say that because I am walking with Jesus

and I still had a hard time

understanding how. Recently, I have come to the realization of forgiveness is not being like,

I'm all better. God does not ask us to be super humans and then all of a sudden wake up one day and be like, oh, I look at them in a place of love.
God bless them. No, that's not the reality of it.
It really isn't. And that's, but that was my perception of how to forgive someone, to love them and to like look at them in a place of love, which yes, that takes time though.
That takes time to look at them from a place of love and not be so hurt by what they did to you. And so what I have done this past year is I've noticed that when I turn from God and I don't bring my pain to Him, that is when my heart gets hardened.
And that's when I start speaking bad. I have unforgiveness in my heart.
So I don't know. For me, forgiveness is going in my secret place, being open, being honest, not saying, I love them, I bless them.
No, forgiveness is coming with an honest heart and being like, I need help. Do you guys understand that when people ask me how to pray like sometimes the most powerful prayers literally help me.

Like I need help.

Like I have unforgiveness in my heart. I am hurting.
My heart feels like it's bleeding. And I can't stop thinking about this situation and what happened.
I can't let it go. And I need your help.
And as you meditate on his word, as you sit in that secret

place with him and you, and you come before him with the honesty and the rawness of how you're feeling, the time you spend with him and the honesty you bring to him, bringing that together, then you'll notice that your heart softens and you'll notice that you feel better. And that to me is how I'm able to deal with forgiveness.
The more time you spend with him and sometimes you're so upset and you have so much unforgiveness that you need to spend day in and day out. There has been days where I had to sit all day with Jesus.

And I still do because I notice I have this anger in my heart.

And the more I sit with him and the more I read his word and the more I cry out and the more I say I don't feel good and I'm honest.

I notice that my heart softens so much and then forgiveness comes.

And that isn't an overnight thing.

Sometimes it takes a year of repetitively sitting with him and bringing it to him.

And your heart will just keep getting softer and open.

And so for me, that is how you deal with forgiveness.

That is so beautiful. You are, it's hard.
It's really hard. And the temptation to, as a Christian specifically, to be like, I have Jesus, so everything is good.
Of course, I bless you. Father, forgive them for they don't know what they do.
You know what I mean? Like, it's, on GGB. We're all about being so unbelievably real.
We're not here to give you guys some regurgitated like information. You've heard it and it's all real.
It's all true. Like, yes, we forgive because Jesus forgives us.
That is the basis of forgiveness. Like we, you have to forgive people because Jesus forgives us.
And so if we don't forgive them, God won't forgive us.

It's literally scriptural.

But at the same time, forgiveness not only takes time, it takes work.

You have to work through these things.

I sound like a broken record, but like it's all heart work you have to process and really genuinely work through. And it's not even just about that isolated incident.
Whatever traumatic event happened that has caused unforgiveness in your life is tied to a deep rooted issue in your heart that probably comes from your childhood. It's not even just about that moment or that hurt or betrayal.
It's tied to something so much deeper. And if your forgiveness isn't going, you have to go deeper.
You have to reach places in your own heart that are like so terrifying to go to. But if the forgiveness isn't coming off with all that work, I believe it's because it's tied to something much deeper and you're only scratching the surface with the work that you're doing you know and then I think too like forgiveness is a supernatural thing forgiveness is a grace from God God can't impart grace when you have a barricade up and so like Ari said going in and lying and saying I bless and it's beautiful to bless it's like a great tool that you have and it does change the like position of your heart and it does do something to just be like I bless and it's beautiful to bless.
It's like a great tool that you have. And it does change the like position of your heart.
And it does do something to just be like, I bless him. I bless him.
I love him. But like, if you're lying to God and you're not being honest, like there's a barricade and his grace can't go through that.
You have to invite it in and you have to say, I'm weak in my own bitterness, in my own unforgiveness. and I need your grace.
I need your spirit to come do a supernatural work in my heart. Because at this point, no matter how much talk therapy or any sort of therapy we do, it's not coming out.
So it's all things. It's practical and it's spiritual.
It's work, it's processing, it's therapy, getting to the root of the issue. And it's like allowing God like to do a supernatural work in your heart.
Yeah. How do I make the most of my single season? How do I make the most of my single season? I've said it once and I'll say it again.
If I can tell you anything, don't waste it.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. If I can tell you anything, don't waste it.
I've definitely had moments of wasting days because I felt so sad and lonely. But the one thing that I will never regret is that I have said I am going to have the greatest time with my girlfriends.
I've went on adventures that I've never thought I could do. I've made friends.
I've pushed myself. I've, I'm so proud of myself because there were times, there are things that I never thought I could do, but because I was single, it forced me to push myself to do it.
I've made friendships that I will have for the rest of my life. I get to wake up and just be with Jesus, just me and Jesus.
I focus on Him, which has been in 1 Corinthians verse 7, He said, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his to do the Lord's work.
There are times, I had this moment the other day where I started crying of joy joy and I was like, thank you for having me in the single season. Because I'm single, I get to sit here with you and just be with you and focus, which is really, although if you are with someone who's also following Jesus and you guys do it together, but it is harder.
There's things that we just have to take advantage of when we're single. You spend that time with your friends.
You do things that you would never be able to do. Adventures, trips with girlfriends.
Don't waste your time. These precious moments with your friends, whether you're a guy or a girl, dwelling that you're not in a relationship because singleness is such a gift.
It's a time to be with friends and family. I don't want to waste that time with my family.
These moments are so precious. You will regret it.
So really soaking in this time with your loved ones, with your friends, with your family, going on adventures, just focusing on Jesus? What does he have for you? What, when you're single, it's because he has a mission for you. So what does, what is he trying to teach you? What does he want you to work on? The one thing God does not want you to do is waste this time.
He has you in this position for a reason, and it's not to sulk and dwell and be upset. A hundred percent.
And what I would add to that, Ari said, it's harder to have a spiritual life when you're dating. If you're dating someone and it's pulling from your spiritual life, that's not the right relationship.
A good relationship will actually only bring you closer to Jesus. And if you, you know, are dating someone that it will only like hinder your spiritual life or your relationship with Jesus.
And it should be quite the opposite, you know, like being with a godly person should actually only be completely edifying and should only push you closer to Jesus. So yeah, if you are in a situation where some of it's like pulling you from Jesus, I can probably guarantee unless you just need to rework some boundaries, there's just some work that needs to be done there because a true godly relationship should make you more like Jesus and push you closer to Jesus.
So true, so true. Afraid to self-sabotage with anxious attachment.
The closer you get to Jesus, the more he breaks that off of you because you are not relying on someone. You don't have that anxious feeling when you are in a relationship, when you've been in this season of waiting and focusing just on Jesus.
And because you become so anchored in him that if somebody comes or goes, it doesn't matter because your confidence and you're anchored in him. Guys, have you ever experienced symptoms like the following? Low energy levels or brain fog? This is something I personally have struggled with.
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That's B-E-A-M dot com slash GGB and use code GGB for up to 35% off. Someone said, what do I look for in a Christian partner? and, you know, Ari and I have talked about this a little bit, how being specific in what you want is probably one of the most important things I think you can do.
Because if you don't know what you want and what you're supposed to want, how are you going to recognize it when it comes? You know what I mean? And I think like, for example, before I met John, I really fine tuned what it was that I wanted. I was really certain.
I really knew. I knew my like top few priorities and I knew like my overall priorities, He's like a good man, what really mattered to me was like looking at his, his, you know, his friendships and is he around all married men who love their wives and care for their wives and value families? Or are they surrounded by a bunch of bachelor single guys who just want to party? And, you know, not saying that a good man can't be in that environment, but it does make it a lot more difficult when everybody around them is living a certain lifestyle that doesn't value marriage and family.
So for me, I was like, it's so important to me that he has good godly men around him, older men that speak into his life um and then I just knew for me personally like I got really specific even on in how I wanted like our spiritual lives to mesh like I knew what mattered to me was being with a man who could cover me in prayer like that was one of my main things and I'll tell you all the time I was like he's going to be prophetic and he's going to be this and he's going to be that. And if God didn't bring me those things, that's okay.
But I knew what I wanted and I knew the why behind what I wanted. And I got to a place in my own heart where there was no more superficiality of like, I want this because of this.
It was nothing that was self-serving or just coming from an impure place. And when you go deep enough with Jesus, he legitimately replaces your heart with his heart.
Your desires become his desires. So you want for yourself what God wants for you.
And everything that I asked for, I said, I need a man who's going to pray for me. I need a man who's going to pray for my children, who's going to raise my kids in a godly home.
Like I needed a man who was like Jesus. And that's what I looked for.
And that's like what I knew I would have. I didn't, I didn't look for it.
I just knew that that's what God would bring me because I knew my heart was aligned with his and he brought me somebody literally who is all of those things

and so much more. So it's just about, it's about the heart.
It's about the heart. It's about your heart in what you're asking for.
And it's about the other person's heart, their character, their level of loyalty and faithfulness, just knowing why you want what you want and getting specific with it. He needs to be deeply, deeply, deeply rooted in Jesus.
And he needs to be a faithful, good man who has the right perspective on marriage. That's what I think a lot of people miss.
It's not just that you can't be with a guy who just wants a wife. You need a guy who wants to be a husband.
You can't just be with a girl who wants a husband. You need to be with a girl who wants to be a wife.
There's responsibility, and marriage isn't, like I know we hear it all the time, but marriage really isn't to make you happy. It's to make you holy.
That's why it's hard. That's why the deepest friendships and relationships are the hardest, because they make you more like Jesus.
They're supposed to be hard because it's not just about being happy. It's about producing something in you and letting God form himself in you.
Someone asked just about purity and dating. And I will say that Ari and I went on a long journey of purity.
We've been walking in purity. We value purity above everything, physical purity, emotional purity, purity in your heart and in your thoughts.
And physical purity when you're not dating is really easy. Talk about it.
It's really easy. I am really, really blessed that the only dating relationship that I've had is with a man as pure as the one I'm dating.
He's incredible. I can't even imagine dating a guy who's not like that.
And can I be honest? Sometimes I like fear. It's just scary because if just any girl or a guy that's in a position, if the other person tempts you even a little bit, it's like you can't do it.
Both people, both people have to be so on the same page that you don't even want that person to even remotely get there. And this is going to sound really weird.
And it's kind of maybe a topic for another day. But like people always ask, what's the line? And I didn't really know how to answer this until being in the, in this position.
And I realized it's not about what you do or what you don't do. It's literally about your heart.
It's about your heart, the position of your heart, the desires of your heart, who has the affection of your heart? Because I'm just going to say it and I don't know if I'm going to keep it in, but a few months ago and John and I, just for my GGB people who like, this is what matters to us so much. Like we care so much about, cause it's so hard.
It's so hard. And if you're like, you get into a relationship, you start talking about marriage, you start talking about engagement, things start to get like blended and you're like, ah, but it feels, you just like, you have to have right narratives about this and you have to go prepared because it gets really tough.
And I'm only being this honest because I love you guys. We love you guys so much.
And we want you guys to be like, to be powerful in this area. John, we've not even remotely even close to crossed any sort of boundary.
And I can honestly say that, like not even close, nothing, nowhere. And still, a couple months ago, we decided that we weren't even going to make out.
And I know it is so insane that at this point in my life, I decided I'm going to be in a relationship. We decided to stop even making out because we thought, for what? We're not going anywhere with this.
No, we didn't cross any boundaries. No, nothing happened.
But I realized like, I realized that purity isn't about what you do. It's about what's in your heart.
It's just my heart went from so devoted to Jesus. And I love the sacrifice that I'm making to like managing.
That's not the sacrifice Jesus is asking for. He doesn't want you sitting there being like, Oh, I wish I could.
No, it's a thank you, Jesus. I get to make this sacrifice.
You know, it's, it's so weird, but it's like, I just want to tell you the improvement of our relationship.

Not that we were even remotely walking in impurity, but the purity that we're walking in now, there is no confusion.

There's no arguments.

It's only boldness and confidence in each other, in ourselves. We walked through some

things with pasts and stuff. The second we chose full purity, I'm not even going to let my mind

because, and then you get to a point where you have to start guarding your mind and it's like,

and it's natural. These things are natural, but if you don't even let yourself

awaken that part and go there and trust me, if I can do it, you can do it. I promise you that.
Even the things that we were struggling with about past or whatever it was, the second we start walking in purity, everything goes. Not one thought of like, oh, no confusion.
No, it just sows discord between you when there's any bit of impurity. I'm telling you.
It is. you this in real time what i've discovered like i've never done this before this is my first pure relationship i can't believe again once again jesus does what he says he's gonna do it's not by accident peace comes from obeying it does peace comes from walking in true purity i'm glad you shared that because so many people don't know what the fine line is.
They're like, well, we're living in purity, but can I sleep at his house? You know what I mean? Totally. And that's so good that you just said that because so many people are confused about that.
Yeah, I know. One day I'd love to have a whole episode on it because I'm discovering it in real time.
It's like, it's insane. And no wonder people get so confused because like Satan really is able to come in and speak things and be like, it's okay.
Just like he just his ability. And then you become desensitized to it and things that it's just, it's just such a journey that you have to be so aware.
And it takes two people who are radically committed to purity that I don't, honestly, I'm just going to say, I don't try to turn him on and he doesn't try to turn me on because we're hurting each other if we try and do that. You know what I mean? I know.
I know. Believe me, watching you guys has opened my eyes a lot because I've never been in a

like a real Christian relationship I haven't um and so you're kind of the learning block for me

because I'm like wow it is so crucial to have such a man of God like I you wouldn't be able

to stand without it who is so submitted to him how would you be able to even stand I could not

Thank you. a man of God, like I, you wouldn't be able to stand without it.
Who is so submitted to him? How would you be able to even stand? I couldn't, I would, and you could, but it'd be so hard. It'd be miserable and, and you'd fight and you just have like anxiety and you look at each.
And the temptations, you know? It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. Getting, dating to getting married.
it's like so weird because it's such a short season and we what it has helped so much with him and i is that we've just taken the emphasis off of like sexual desires completely yeah like we just don't make a big deal about them because guess what sex is really not that big of a deal And then you get married and it's 0.03% of what you do. And while you're dating, you make it such a big deal.
And it's like it's this massive sacrifice. And God has, he just broke something in me specifically where I just realized like Satan tries to make it such a big deal.
Like how are you going to do it? How are you going to make it? Your body has these desires and they're natural well actually if you don't let yourself go there Jesus gives you the ability to kill those desires until it's time especially um they put it in society too you gotta test drive the car before you drive it I mean this is like yeah and then they leave you a year later and then you have soul ties for the next six years. Exactly.

And you're living in hell.

No.

God's way is so.

Take it from two girls who have lived a lot of life.

Please.

Please take it from us too.

We've been through it.

We have nobody telling us to feel this way.

We've lived it.

I'm literally in real time reaping the benefits.

Reaping the benefits off of doing things the way that God is asking me to do. You have no idea.
That's so beautiful. You've probably helped so many people while you just saying that.
So many people struggle with this and it's, oh, it's, it's so hard. Relationships, living in purity.
It's, it's such a tough thing and people, we need to talk about it more and it's vulnerable and it's hard, but we need to talk about it because that's why so many of us are depressed and being deceived and relationships are ending because we're not doing it God's way. Exactly.
It's so true. If we know anything, what's the scripture? It's like, no temptation that is not common to man has overtaken you.
Jesus was in all points tempted as you were yet without sin. Therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that you may obtain mercy and find help in a time of need.
There is no temptation that any of us have ever felt that is not common to man. And there's no temptation that Jesus doesn't give us a way of escape.

It says he gives us a way of escape.

The Holy Spirit, the reason why Jesus even left us a Holy Spirit, his precious Holy Spirit is to empower us.

He kills the sin and then he gives us the ability to overcome it.

The Holy Spirit is the person, the beautiful person that literally gave us the

ability to overcome this, to lay it down. And I just like, I just want you guys to know what's the scripture that's like, he who is in you is greater than that one too.
A hundred percent, a hundred percent. It's just, I don't know.

But what I'm trying to say is if we, if you believe in Jesus and you believe in the gospel,

but there's an area of your life that you say you can't overcome,

then that means that Jesus dying on the cross wasn't sufficient.

It means that when he says my grace is sufficient for you because my power is made perfect in your weakness, you're saying that your grace isn't sufficient. But the truth is, it is.
And I know it doesn't feel that way, but you have to change your thinking and realize that Satan is sowing lies in your mind, telling you that there's something that is too powerful for even Jesus to overcome in you. And we know that that's not the truth.
Don't listen to Mr. Loser, liar, Satan, because it's not the truth.
The Holy Spirit gives you the ability to literally overcome everything. Your flesh is not more powerful than the cross.
Sin, sex is not more powerful. Your desires and urges and temptation, that is not more powerful than what Jesus did on the cross.
He died specifically so that you could overcome. I promise you that you, like Ari said, he who is in you is greater than whatever's going on in your body.
You are so much more powerful. One thing I would suggest is just that you don't, you have to change your language to find, there are still things in my life, like idols and situations, sometimes with eating and stuff and like disordered eating.
I have a language to it that I begin in a place of defeat. Even now I'm like, it's just so hard.
It's just too powerful. I just can't do it.
I've just been this way my whole life. But once you change that and be like, but that's, what did Jesus die for? For your freedom, for your liberation, so that he defeated sin in the grave so that you could defeat sin in the grave.
He died in place of your sin. He died so he could kill your sin in you.
Like truly, this is not just theological stuff. This is the truth.
This is real. So you have to step into the power that Jesus left you in his Holy Spirit, because that's who empowers you to move.
And you say, Holy Spirit, empower me, give me the ability, give me power to overcome. And that's literally his job.
So he wants nothing more than to do that for you. And can I just say one more thing hearing you say that? And I'm just speaking from what I went through when I gave up sin.
It required an immense amount of time with him. Because the more I spent time with him, because I was only four months into my walk and then it like hit me, but I had to, it took such a great amount of time to be with him, to learn who he is, to understand him, to then be like, you have walked with me through every foolish moment and you still loved me.

And that caused me to love to like have that great reverence. And like that's why we always talk about reverence for Jesus makes you look at him and have that epiphany of I want to live for you.
I don't, it, it, your, your, the desires of your heart start to change when you really understand his love for you. And it makes you say, you love me so much.
You have loved me through every single stupid moment. I don't want to live that.
I don't want to do the things that you don't want me to do. I actually want to live for you.
And even if there's things that I might still desire, makes you want to live for him. And naturally, naturally, as you grow into intimacy with him, your desires of your heart started changing.
Being in the secret place, learning about him, loving him, looking at my life and seeing how he gave me so much grace and love through every foolish time. And it naturally made me want to live for him.
Yeah, a hundred percent. The only thing I'll add to that is like one thing that I've done, um, and this is just like an exercise you guys can do.
Sometimes God will take me through like visual things in my quiet time. Recently, I started doing this thing where if there's something in me that I don't like um I will recently what was it that I was feeling oh I think it was like I just my fear of man that's what it was just over this past two weekend and whatever I was really trying to differentiate between the voice of God and the voice of people and the

fear of God and the fear of man. And, and I just realized like, I, I have fear of man in me, people pleasing that has to die.
Like it has to die. If I want to be the person that God has called me to be.
And if he's going to call me into crazy situations, um, I have to die to the criticism of people. Like I have to.
And so recently I'm sitting and I'm like in my quiet time and they, you know, scripture describes Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit as being an all consuming fire. So when you're in the presence of God, it should be an all consuming fire that sets your heart ablaze for him.
And then it burns in purity. That's who is the all-consuming fire that sets your heart ablaze for him and then it burns in purity.
That's who he is, the all-consuming fire that purifies you from the inside out. And so I sit and I close my eyes and I imagine myself and I imagine this all-consuming fire coming and I like, it sounds weird, but like coming and sets my whole body on fire from head to toe.
I'm on fire. My insides are on fire.
And I see specifically in that moment, the fear of man, it's in me. And I see it catch into flames and it starts to burn up.
And I see it burning and burning and burning. And I feel like my whole body gets hot.
And I feel like it's supernaturally like God is doing a purification. and there's like a, you know, sanctification

process of it. So it might not all happen in one moment, but this visualization of me, the fear of man is caught on fire and it's burning up and it's burning up.
And then at the same time, my heart is set ablaze for Jesus. So all of the fear of man turns into ashes.
And then the fear of God fills me up to replace that fear of man. And so I encourage you guys, if it's sex, lust, addiction, whatever it might be, whatever's in you that you're struggling with, mental illness, your thoughts, visualize yourself and then visualize Jesus, the all-consuming fire coming, setting your whole self on fire and purifying you from the inside out and setting each of those things that are in you on fire and letting him burn them out.
And then you don't just let him burn it out though. You have to invite the Holy Spirit to fill you back up.
Everything that God removes, any self-deliverance, anything that you do that you say, I cast you out in Jesus' name. I rebuke you in Jesus' name.

You have to refill that place because now there's a void.

There's a place in your heart, mind, spirit, body that Jesus has to come fill with his presence.

Because if you leave the door open and you leave the space open, you don't know what can come back.

So you just fill yourself back up with the presence of God and with the Holy Spirit.

That's great.

I'm going to be blazing up tonight in my thoughts. I'm going to be blazing up.
Blazing. Not like that blazing.
I don't want to. All right, guys.
We love you so, so much. We love you.
We love you guys so much. Ari and I are, we're obsessed with you guys.
We're obsessed with you. We think about you.
We pray for you. We just adore you with all of our hearts.
We're so intentional in our, the way we seek God to serve you guys better.

And I hope that you feel that from us because we love you. And this isn't just us behind a screen.

This is us in your room with you because we're literally committed to you for life.

That's really cute.

Like we love him so much. We do.

You're our world. You are.
That's all we do. It's all for you guys.
Think about you guys. Yeah.
So may the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. I cannot say it now.
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