Girly Convo About Boys | Girls Gone Bible

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Speaker 2 Last night before bed, I'm like, Jesus,

Speaker 2 I just want to have an encounter with you. Do you think you could come in my dreams? Like, can I encounter you in my dreams?

Speaker 2 Because I don't really remember my dreams often and so I wake up this morning

Speaker 2 I have a I have the most vivid dreams all night that I me and you go to a tattoo shop and you convince me to be more edgy so I get tattoos all over my legs I'm getting like American flags on my thighs on the fray here I have like

Speaker 2 I don't even know just all these things and I had an epiphany and I go to you and I go Angela why dude, why did you have me get tattoos all over my legs?

Speaker 2 It's summer, and I want to wear a sundress, and I look crazy, and I'm trying to scrub them off, and I'm calling all these tattoo shops, asking if they can remove them.

Speaker 2 So, you guys, but and then I, as I was coming in here, I'm like, wait a minute, maybe that's not crazy, maybe that does mean something, but I can't really find anything that it means. So, if you have-

Speaker 2 So if you guys know,

Speaker 2 if it's a symbolism of getting a tattoo on your body,

Speaker 2 let me know.

Speaker 3 I wonder. Wait, that is so funny.
You know, that's my dream is to get

Speaker 2 tattoos with you. I know.
She wants to.

Speaker 3 I want to get matching tattoos with you so badly. I know that.
Do you think you would ever consider doing...

Speaker 2 Maybe I would get like a white one on the back, like

Speaker 2 GGV or something or a cross.

Speaker 2 You know, you can get a white tattoo.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, but I want I want like real edge.

Speaker 2 I want true like do you think I'd look weird with it?

Speaker 2 I don't you wouldn't look weird, but would I pull a tattoo off? You could pull anything off, but I don't know if it's like this one on the back of you.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I look at it and I'm like, you can, I want to get it.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Oh, man.
Anyways, so yeah, I love GGB question sessions. I looked over it last night and probably half of the questions were about John, which I don't blame you guys.

Speaker 2 Angela posted her amazing new boyfriend, John, who is my best friend. He's the greatest.
I will be the first one to say he's truly the greatest person I have ever met in my entire life.

Speaker 2 So God really did come through for that one in our prayers.

Speaker 2 I'll just say that I used to sit in prayer for Ange and like pray on what I wanted her to have. And everything that God brought her was exactly what John is.
So, um,

Speaker 2 and I know everybody is so excited for you, and it's just crazy seeing all the comments. It's because we've been on this waiting season for since we started our journey, basically.

Speaker 2 So, for everyone to see you wait and to see how all this unfolds, I'm sure gives so many of you guys hope. So, yeah, one of the questions was:

Speaker 2 can we know about John? How did you meet him? I know so many many girls in their single season are like, how do I meet someone? Do I have to go looking? I saw so many of you guys asked that.

Speaker 2 Like, do I have to put myself out there? How do I meet a good, godly man? Are there godly men out there? Can you kind of, you know, talk about that?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's so, it's so sweet. It's so the response

Speaker 3 that people gave us was truly so kind and like, yeah, I think I've just never, I haven't like posted a guy since I was maybe 21 like on you know on the feed a hard launch is like a hard launch is that's when you know it's it well because in our position it's like you don't you can't just post someone who like you may you know what I mean it just sets you up for a lot of stress if for any reason like it doesn't work out like putting yourself out there so obviously this is our first time being in any sort of public what anything and so to take the step to hard launch somebody is like it was a lot and it was really thought through and it was like a long time coming.

Speaker 3 Um, because it's just a lot. It's a lot of pressure.
You never know what people, I don't, you know, I've just like seen people

Speaker 3 do that, like hard launch somebody, go public with somebody. You know, like it's a big deal.
Like we're freaking Angelina and Brad and like anybody cares. Like

Speaker 2 out of all the celebrities, Angelina and Brad.

Speaker 3 I don't know, like anyone, you know what I mean? It's not like people care, but you just never know.

Speaker 3 And I guess I'm just so protective and so like, this man is probably one of the most private people I've ever known in my life.

Speaker 3 And like, I will actually kill someone if anybody says anything bad about him.

Speaker 3 So, and then to, yeah, get the response that I did, I just couldn't believe how much GGB gang is like, like, I know you guys are invested in our lives, but it truly, I was in tears all day long being like, I can't believe that our people love us this much and you care this much and you've been so invested.

Speaker 3 And you know what really made me feel seen? I was like, I had so many people be like, you know, with Angela's standards and the way that she talks about men, like, we know he's got to be good.

Speaker 3 So I just felt so heard by you guys. I was like, because sometimes you don't know.
You don't know if people hear anything you say, you know? And it was just so like,

Speaker 3 it made such an impact on my life because it was just so sweet.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So, sweet baby John.

Speaker 2 That's what he is, sweet pure. Seriously, yeah, one bad bone in his body.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he um,

Speaker 3 I'll just tell a little bit of the because we won't spend obviously the whole episode talking about this, but I just feel like GGB Gang, especially the girlies, like you deserve

Speaker 3 the story because you've been in it with us, you've seen us transform, you've seen us go through a lot, and so, and like, yeah, it's just very,

Speaker 3 it's very God, like the whole thing is really, really Jesus. So,

Speaker 3 i was

Speaker 3 in a singleness i was true i was single for like almost a year before we started dating a little bit less than that i was like truly single i went through like a six-month period do you guys remember at the beginning of last year

Speaker 3 over christmas two two christmases ago i felt like i got a word from god and back then i honestly i i was not secure or confident in my ability to hear god yet so i wouldn't like fully

Speaker 3 commit to something that he would tell me. I would kind of like say it as a joke, like, oh, God said this.
Ha ha ha. We'll see.

Speaker 3 So I would always joke, like, God told me I have to be single for six months. I'm pretty sure I said it on the podcast.

Speaker 3 Like, I'd always be like, six months, six months. I had this number in my head.
And so for six months, you guys, I went through the most brutal.

Speaker 3 starving of we talked about on GGB plus a little bit where like in order for some the old Angela to die, she had to die by starvation. And so there was parts of me that had to be had to be starved.

Speaker 3 Like I had to be starved of attention, starved of affection.

Speaker 3 I had gone my whole life, as a lot of you know, like being in relationships my whole life, like constantly, always talking to someone or just like always having somebody, even a male friend.

Speaker 3 Feeding that part of me. I didn't even realize that like even my male friendships was there was probably a little something that fed that part of you that needs validation from men.

Speaker 3 And so I went through this like radical commitment with Jesus of like, I literally didn't even have male friends. I was like, I can't even have guy friends.

Speaker 3 I can't even, I just can't get attention from anybody because it's, it's feeding a part of myself that God wants to die before I meet my person.

Speaker 3 And so I go through six months of, I mean, I didn't even look in anybody's direction.

Speaker 3 And I know that six months might not sound like a long time, but I think in the grand scheme of things of like being in relationships my whole life and almost never being alone, six months was like a lot.

Speaker 3 And it was very intense. And I felt it.
And we've talked about this so much, how like

Speaker 3 it's just so weird, like what you go through in that time of like you don't feel beautiful. You don't feel desired.
You don't feel like there's so many things that you lose.

Speaker 3 You don't feel feminine and womanly. Like, that's how I felt for a while.
And it was, I can honestly say those six months were probably the hardest of my life.

Speaker 3 And I had to learn how to value myself for the things that God values me for, which aren't your looks, your body, your flirting. You know what I mean? It was really like, it was brutal.

Speaker 3 And I know a lot of people, I just know that this is how God works in a lot of people's lives.

Speaker 3 And I know that a lot of girls girls that I hear talking like, I'm, you know, I just want to feel desired. I just want to, I want to just at least be asked out on a date.

Speaker 3 Like, I want to know somebody is pursuing me. And like, yes, but also being hidden as painful as it is.
is the greatest gift.

Speaker 3 You don't need attention from men who aren't going to be your husband. I can't believe that I talk like this.

Speaker 3 If you told me that years ago, I would have been like, that girl's a weirdo talking like that. But it's the truth.
You don't need attention from men men who aren't your husband.

Speaker 3 It's just delaying the process.

Speaker 3 You know, and I'm not saying that dating is bad, but I just think that God really utilizes that hiddenness and your singleness, obviously.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 3 anyway, so I go through this six months of like so much shedding, so much sanctification. I mean, you can literally see it in my face, my eyes, the way I speak, the way I behave.
Like the

Speaker 3 I, my, God put my feet to the fire and like the purification was really intense and really painful and really uncomfortable. And I was miserable.

Speaker 3 And I'm not going to pretend to, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I was just like, like, Ari knows, I struggled. It was so hard.
Like, the singleness was hard.

Speaker 3 And I also had an awareness of what God was producing in me. And I knew, I just knew it was for a reason.
And I heard that six months. Anyways, flash forward,

Speaker 3 I get a call from my agent, our RE ⁇ I's book agent, who is like somewhat of a matchmaker herself.

Speaker 3 And she calls, it's just the funniest story in the world. And I can't wait for John to tell it from his perspective one day because it's just, it's insane.
He goes, my agent calls me and goes,

Speaker 3 hey, I have a blind date for you and gives me a,

Speaker 3 gives me a description of him. She's like, he is handsome, but wouldn't identify with that.
He is the definition of humility.

Speaker 3 He loves jesus more than anything he builds orphanages in india and like does missions in other parts of the world and his life is fully fully laid down and surrendered to jesus and i'm like okay love him

Speaker 3 and then you know they send me a photo she sends me a photo of him i can tell that this photo is from like years ago like i'm like he literally looks like 15 in this photo And I was like, I love this guy.

Speaker 3 He has. Do you guys remember? Do you remember? I said it on the podcast.
I said, whoever I end up with has no social media and doesn't take photos of himself.

Speaker 3 Like we have to find it. Do you guys remember, guys?

Speaker 3 He doesn't have social media and he couldn't, he didn't even have a photo of himself that he could send me. And this is a very cute, like man.
Like he, and he didn't take photos of himself.

Speaker 3 Absolutely insane.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think your story has instilled in me that you really should write down exactly what you want and be very specific because everything that you wanted, you got.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's so true. I agree completely.
Getting specific is one of the best things you can do.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because that's how you partner with God, like in the details, in the specifics.

Speaker 2 He's like, what do you want?

Speaker 2 Ask me. Ask and you should.
It really is.

Speaker 3 Do you remember? Do you remember that woman that we met that one time? And she said, she like didn't get married until a little bit later.

Speaker 3 And she realized that she asked God, like, why haven't you brought me my husband? And she said, and she felt that she heard God say, You have not because you asked not.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then she asked, and she said, okay, bring me my husband and make him like this and like this. And then God brought her exactly who she was asking for.

Speaker 3 He goes out to dinner with his dad and his dad's best friends.

Speaker 3 And one of his dad's best friends was like, why are you single? Like, we got to find you a girl, whatever.

Speaker 3 And he's like, I just can't, like, I haven't found anyone that I like am captivated by, that I, like, I'm not willing to settle for somebody unless i'm unless i am captivated by them like that was his thing like he could settle for you know he could find someone to be with and marry but he wanted to be captivated and that just goes to show that like you're you're allowed to of course you value so many things before you value like romantic just like in-love feeling but that's also equally as important

Speaker 3 don't settle don't um

Speaker 3 and then so one of his dad's friends was like

Speaker 3 why, like, why haven't you found a girl? Whatever. And they're like thinking about girls.
And he's like, I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to find anyone where I live.

Speaker 3 And they're like thinking about other cities, like women they know, girls they know. And then his dad goes, hey, his dad is literally my world.
I love you so much, Mark.

Speaker 3 He's the best person in the world. And he is the reason why we're together.
So bless Mark. Mark goes, hey.
Have you guys heard of those girls gone Bible girls?

Speaker 3 And then he's like, there are these girls and whatever. And then one of his dad's best friends goes, hey, I think I have the same book agent as them, calls our agent, makes the connection.

Speaker 3 Long story short, John sends me a text. He's like, hey, I agree to go out.
I have never had more peace in my life than this situation.

Speaker 3 I barely knew what that man looked like. I didn't know anything.
And I knew. I'm a knower.
That's, I don't really, I don't hear audibly. I don't really have visions.
I just know deep in my heart.

Speaker 3 I knew. I was like, this is crazy.
This is crazy. Man flew to LA to take me on a date, which is just the sweetest thing in the world.
He picks me up the first day. We go to dinner.

Speaker 3 The one thing about John that I thought was really special is like people, and it's natural. People, like you meet them and they try to appeal to you.

Speaker 3 Like it just happens like with, you know, not even with like, you can be a good person, but you can't help it.

Speaker 3 Like you try to mirror the other person because you want them to like you and you want to be what, you know, you think they want.

Speaker 3 And so oftentimes in the past, I always was met with guys who like over-spiritualized themselves and

Speaker 3 set them up as these guys that were more spiritually

Speaker 3 active or advanced than they really were. And then I find out later, like, that's, it's not really the case.
And that was always hard for me because they would know that what I wanted and they would.

Speaker 3 pretend to be that, but it wasn't real. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And so with John, like they would really oversell it. With John, I didn't even know if this man really, like, I knew he loved Jesus, but like he didn't play anything up.

Speaker 3 He didn't try to, he didn't brag, like, he's just like so humble, so down to earth, so quiet. He didn't oversell anything.

Speaker 3 And I was like, and now looking back and I'm like, he is the most spiritually gifted person I think I've ever met in my life. And he didn't play it up at all.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like, yeah, there were sparks for sure.
I liked him and I thought he was really, and we were getting along really well, but it wasn't like worldly relationships that it's just like

Speaker 2 immediate like that feeling like that.

Speaker 2 Do you think it's true that when you have that butterfly feeling that that's not love, that's nerves, and it's actually you know it's real when there's just a piece?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 I'm so happy you say that because I've heard that before that if you have butterflies and it might, you know, every case is different, but every time I've ever had butterflies and been really like nervous, it usually wasn't right.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, this, it was one of the most peaceful

Speaker 3 meetings with someone that I've ever had in my life. It was no pressure, so peaceful.
Here's my heart. Here's mine.
We didn't go like too, too deep on the first date,

Speaker 3 but we said enough.

Speaker 3 That's what I like about our relationship. It was so gradual.
Our spiritual lives didn't start to merge right away. That's another thing I always used to do in the past.

Speaker 3 We'd start reading the Bible and praying and combining our spiritual lives like we were married within a week. You know, and that's so unhealthy.
And John really led so well in that area.

Speaker 3 He wouldn't even pray with me until like four months in, like, because he's like, we don't need that soul tie

Speaker 3 until he just, he really led it. So I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, um,

Speaker 2 so you,

Speaker 2 so it's just, and that's a great indication too. What I love about your story is

Speaker 2 that so many of us feel like we have to,

Speaker 2 I don't know, even for me, I'm like, do I, I don't like to really go out. Like, I'm just, I don't like going.

Speaker 2 I love to go to dinner with my friends, but I don't want to feel pressured to be out all the time, especially because I'm exhausted. I work a lot.

Speaker 3 And where are you going to meet someone at the bar?

Speaker 2 That's what I mean, you know? So it's like, and then sometimes it puts that pressure on men and women that we have to do all these things and go to all these places.

Speaker 2 Well, I do think you can't sit in the house and you do need to to push yourself because it is hard now to just like go out.

Speaker 2 I know for me, I'm a homebody, but your story is a great indication of

Speaker 2 trusting, knowing the appointed time and letting God just place you when he wants to place you with the right person.

Speaker 2 And that's,

Speaker 2 your story has brought me a lot of comfort because

Speaker 2 You didn't try. You didn't, you didn't try to do all these things.
You simply just were.

Speaker 2 You simply were just like, whenever your time is, I know you're going to put the right person in front of me at the right time. And that's what happened.

Speaker 2 And I truly believe with my whole heart, that's what God does for us women.

Speaker 3 I agree completely. People ask a lot, like, should I be going out? Should I be looking?

Speaker 3 And I don't want to like, it's so hard because I don't want to give like a blanket statement of what people should be. It is different in every case.

Speaker 3 But I truly believe that God will do things for you that you will will never be able to do for yourself and I don't think

Speaker 3 especially as women like yes I mean if you literally don't know anybody and and nobody knows you like it's kind of hard you've got to put yourself out there somehow to be in community to make friends I think the best way to meet someone honestly is by word of mouth like not like meeting someone out at a party and then which could happen but it's more so like if you're rooted in good community and that person is rooted in good community and there's some sort of crossover, like that's the best way in my opinion.

Speaker 3 So it's just like being the person that God wants you to be in godly spaces. I think that's the best way because that's what happened.
I know someone who knows somebody else and they connected us.

Speaker 3 But I agree with you completely. I don't think, I know you don't need to be going out every night looking, you know what I mean? Nobody does.

Speaker 2 And if you are struggling with community, church is the first place.

Speaker 2 I mean, what better place to meet someone than at church getting into a Bible study or some kind of community group where you can build that and then meet people through there? Totally.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 3 It was really special. And you know what? The best thing about John was he didn't like, I knew he liked me, but he wasn't overly invested whatsoever.
He wasn't overcompensating. There was no fear.

Speaker 3 He wasn't like, oh my gosh, I have to like have her. So I need to like do, he was so chill and so laid back, but also equally as intentional.
Like flying to LA, very intentional.

Speaker 3 There was no funny business. Like we knew from the jump what was going on.
There wasn't any, obviously, any sort of question like, are we doing this? Are we, is this a date?

Speaker 3 Like there was nothing like that. There was no confusion.
And then on the third day that we hung out, he said, just letting you know,

Speaker 3 I'm pursuing you and I'm going to intentionally pursue you. And he says it in a way that's like not weird, not too much.
Like nothing about it was too much.

Speaker 3 He simply like, just so with such like, it's just masculinity. Like that's what masculinity is.

Speaker 3 Sitting there and being like, I don't need you, but I'm also not going to make you, I'm also secure enough to let you know how I feel, you know?

Speaker 2 That's someone who is who's close to God. They don't have that anxious attachment.

Speaker 3 Right, exactly. Yeah, he's very healthy.

Speaker 2 Intentionality.

Speaker 2 equals safety. Men, if you're listening to this, hear me.

Speaker 3 Exactly.

Speaker 2 If you want to know how to make someone feel safe, be intentional. Yeah, John's the guy you look at and you're like, Yeah, he's been with Jesus,

Speaker 2 he's someone who's been with Jesus. He exemplifies all of Jesus's traits.
He reminds me of Jesus, just so humble, but so strong, and so caring, and cares for people.

Speaker 2 It's just he's everything good in the world, and

Speaker 2 yeah, he's he's he's really good, guys. He really is.
And

Speaker 2 I know that you guys are going to have a John too. So just don't, anyone who's single, you guys are going to have a John too.

Speaker 3 100%. And just don't settle until the most man of God comes into your life.
Like, that's all I would encourage you guys with is just wait for the most man of God because it's just so worth it.

Speaker 3 It's so worth it. I think about like all the times I could have settled and I'm like, thank you,

Speaker 3 Jesus, that nothing worked out. Thank you, jesus that you put me through the fire and i honestly that i could become somebody

Speaker 3 that i could become somebody that would mesh with someone like john all right guys before we really get into today's episode we just want to remind you that we are on the girls gone bible live tour and we're so excited we want you guys to come join us you can get your tickets at girlsgonebible.com slash tour we are having the most beautiful nights ggb nights are something that that we won't forget for the rest of our lives.

Speaker 3 We get to meet you guys, hang out with you guys, hug you, pray over you, minister to you.

Speaker 3 We get to experience the glory of God, the manifest presence of God all together in a room because he always shows up when you worship him truly and rightly. He shows up.

Speaker 3 He promises that he shows up and he really does at GGB nights. So please get your tickets and join us.

Speaker 2 Guys, you have no idea how amazing it's been since starting GGB Plus.

Speaker 2 We always say it, but it's a time where it's like being with our best friends, where we get deep and intimate and talk about things that we wouldn't normally talk about on Girls Gone Bible.

Speaker 2 And so it's just given us the opportunity to really go deep and personal and get even more vulnerable, if you can imagine. So go to girlsgonebible.com slash plus.

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Speaker 2 Well, we have some questions.

Speaker 2 So I'm 33 and I feel like I'm running out of time to know who is for me. Why do others have it so easy?

Speaker 2 And this one hit home for me a little bit because I just,

Speaker 2 I want to sit here and give you advice, but I want to also tell you how proud I am of you that you're sitting here and you're feeling your emotions because the truth is it isn't easy.

Speaker 2 And we go through these moments where we're like, I'm in my 30s and I'm tired and I'm frustrated. And where is my person? And that doesn't mean that you have a lack of faith.

Speaker 2 That means that you're a human being and you have feelings and you're a woman and you are.

Speaker 2 you want to be loved. And, but what I first want to tell you is, is that 33 is very young.
It's so young. And we just feel like, oh my gosh, I'm in my 30s.

Speaker 2 Like that, like society has deceived us so much. And I remember when I turned 30 and I thought my life was over.
And

Speaker 2 one of the most special things about Girls Gone Bible is that

Speaker 2 we aren't two girls who come on here. because we know it all.
We're two girls who literally have to be exposed because we're going through the fire

Speaker 2 in real time with you. And so I am

Speaker 2 in this place with you.

Speaker 2 And I just want to let you know that God had put me in a place of not bringing me things till I was in my 30s. I mean, I share this with you guys a lot, but...

Speaker 2 I wish I had someone in their 30s when I was going through my complete isolation and singleness of being like, I'm in it too.

Speaker 2 And I just just want to let you know that if God would have brought me the things that he had any earlier or it would have never worked out. I would not be ready.

Speaker 2 And if it's one thing I know about Jesus is his time, not ours. His will be done, not our will be done.

Speaker 2 And so I

Speaker 2 remember this picture vividly.

Speaker 2 I was living in the studio apartment. And I was just laying there and it was at the time where I had just lost everything.

Speaker 2 And I was looking up at my ceiling, and my heart was just completely hardened, and I couldn't even feel anything. I was completely disassociated, and I was like,

Speaker 2 My life is truly over.

Speaker 2 All I have ever wanted to do was have a marriage, be a wife,

Speaker 2 make something of myself. And here I am in the very place of what I never wanted to be in.

Speaker 2 And little did I know

Speaker 2 my life had just begun in my 30s? Like, and even if you are 30 and you feel like you don't have anything, you have no idea what he wants to bring to you.

Speaker 2 And even now, in my singleness, there are things that he is still burning out of me, teaching me. I'm still learning.
I'm still growing.

Speaker 2 Maybe I think I'm ready, but I know that God knows so much better than me. And I would have never been able to do what I do if I was in a relationship.

Speaker 2 There are so many things, and it hurts, and it's hard.

Speaker 2 And there's days where you're going to wrestle with God and you're going to watch everyone around you and these beautiful relationships and you're going to wonder why it hasn't happened for you.

Speaker 2 I know I feel like that at times. It's really frustrating and that's okay.
And what I realize is like I have to give myself grace sometimes because

Speaker 2 I feel all these feelings and then I have this feeling of, wait a minute, do I not trust you, God? And God's being like, no, but just deal with it with me. It's okay that you feel this way.

Speaker 2 It's normal.

Speaker 2 I want you to know that if you don't have something, if you don't have something in this time of your life, whether it's a job, whether it's you're single and you're still waiting, I promise you, because God isn't finished with you yet.

Speaker 2 And everything is about timing. It's his timing.
And if you can just remind yourself of that and find verses in the Bible that he talks about that, that's what he talks about.

Speaker 2 His time, his will be done. I literally will repeat that to myself.
Whenever I start to feel sad, I'll be like, like, your will be done, not my will be done. But don't hide the way you feel.

Speaker 2 Don't try to, I've done that so many times recently, even with friends where I've just been like, no, I'm good, I'm good. And I wasn't good.
And it only makes me feel worse.

Speaker 2 So talking it out with people, being like, I feel frustrated. I know I did that with you recently where I was like, I'm really frustrated.
I'm having a hard time.

Speaker 2 Like, and I can't even tell you, it felt like this weight that has been sitting on my chest was

Speaker 2 like got lifted off of me simply because I leaned on a friend.

Speaker 2 But like just leaning on someone and talking it out and then reminding yourself who the God we serve and how he's been with us through everything in our lives. He's not going to fail you.

Speaker 2 If he came down and gave his life for us, don't you think he'll give you everything you need? So it's just that reminder. And I just hope you don't feel alone because

Speaker 2 me and so many other GGB family were all in this position too. So you're not alone.

Speaker 3 You're definitely not alone.

Speaker 3 And I just want to, just off of what Ari just said about like God's timing, if I have learned anything, it's that in your waiting, it's not even, yes, it's that God, it's like the perfect timing for things to fall into place together.

Speaker 3 Like, yes, that's an aspect of it. But it's It's also the fact that God is producing something in you through your waiting.

Speaker 3 Every time that you're uncomfortable, this has been what like the last year of my life has been, is that in the midst of my most uncomfortable moments where I have my whole life never known how to process emotion, never known, I grew up in an environment where there was no conversation about feelings ever.

Speaker 3 So I had to learn how God is forcing me to face things, deal with things, address issues, process emotion.

Speaker 3 And why do you think I've turned to alcohol so much in my life? Why do you think I turned to men and relationships? Because I was always numbing, always avoiding when God was asking me to lean in.

Speaker 3 You're not supposed to just endure suffering and waiting feels like suffering, but you're not just supposed to endure suffering. You're supposed to engage in it.

Speaker 3 And that's what I feel God asking me to do all the time now. When I'm suffering, when I'm uncomfortable, my, I mean, I don't really have anything to numb out with anymore except like my phone.

Speaker 3 So So I'll catch myself going into Instagram and I watch all these videos and I just go like this and it numbs me. And God is like, throw your phone away, engage, lean in.

Speaker 3 I am forming myself in you through this. And so in your waiting, it's not just passive waiting.
That's what I beg you guys.

Speaker 3 There's something that he's doing in you and he's trying to speak and he's trying to tell you, hey, I need, we need to work on this. I need to work on this.
We have to face this.

Speaker 3 We have to address this.

Speaker 3 He's producing something beautiful there's so much fruit that will come from your waiting and the suffering and the uncomfortability in your waiting especially for a person and in those feelings of feeling undesired and not beautiful and not pursued and not loved like he's even producing something in you in that that dependency on him you're gonna thank him later That's what I've realized.

Speaker 3 You will thank him later.

Speaker 3 Things have to die in you and things have to be produced in you and it only happens in your waiting so trust his timing and thank him in advance even if you don't feel it and say thank you for how uncomfortable and disgusting and awful this feels yeah yeah and and and I think about my own life too like I'm

Speaker 2 Thank God what he is burning out of me now. And thank God I don't have to do this while I'm in a relationship because there is so much that I didn't even know.

Speaker 2 I I had like so many things that I'm unlearning that I've had been taught since a little girl that it's almost like I'm being re-raised it's it's insane like this journey for me has been insane like he's re-raising me and helping me unlearn so many things that I have been accustomed to since I was a little girl and so

Speaker 2 The biggest blessing and it's the one thing I thank him every morning for is thank you for letting me do this without someone because this would be incredibly hard.

Speaker 2 So it's like when I finally get into this new relationship, I'm anchored. I'm confident in him.
I think that's been such a blessing in my single season.

Speaker 2 And I love that you say that because it's uncomfortable. It's been really uncomfortable.
I've had to face a lot of things, a lot of uncomfortability about myself that I never knew about. And so

Speaker 2 Being re-raised and having him just

Speaker 2 help me unlearn all these things. I'm just, you're going to thank him later that he did this just the two of you rather than bringing someone in the middle of it because it's hard.
Right. You know?

Speaker 3 I mean, what you're saying about how he raised you, he's re-raising you, like he's fathering you. He's fathering both of us.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 he's giving us that fatherly voice that...

Speaker 3 like shapes you and forms you and like creates healthy patterns and like emotions in your life And my favorite thing about Jesus is that he really is like a double-edged sword. He heals where he cuts.

Speaker 3 He cuts you first. Like, that's the one thing he does with me that I get, and with you too, I'm pretty sure, like, that we, it's so annoying in a sense because it's like, I don't want to face this.

Speaker 3 I don't want to talk about it. That's my response: like, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to deal with it. But he cuts you open.

Speaker 3 Because he's pulling something out and then he will bind up the wound, but he has to cut you first. Yeah.
And so I'm like,

Speaker 3 the unlearning of things is probably the hardest. Yeah.
Because,

Speaker 3 you know.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because you, if you, especially from some of us who didn't grow up in Christian homes and we, we didn't have that, we,

Speaker 2 you know, we grew up,

Speaker 2 it's all about how it starts when you're a kid and when you have grown up learning a certain way and getting taught certain things and not dealing with feelings and, you know, living in dysfunction and chaos or whatever it is it's it's very difficult as you become an adult and then you're in a relationship and you know for me it's just been it's been insane

Speaker 2 I truly feel like I am a young girl again relearning everything and every day it's like teach me because I thought I knew

Speaker 2 I thought I knew like I need you to teach me and because I have got it all wrong my whole life. So it's like a constant of search my heart, search me, help me, help me, help me be in the image of you.

Speaker 2 I am nothing. I am so far from perfect, but I need help because

Speaker 2 in order to have a healthy relationship, and we talked to someone who said this, in order to have a healthy relationship, it all starts with you. It all starts with you being healthy.

Speaker 2 And to be healthy starts with relationship with Jesus. And it's really uncomfortable.
And you will kick and scream.

Speaker 2 And you will feel at times like you just want to give up because the christian walk is one of the hardest things you will ever do but it is so worth it it's so worth it

Speaker 2 Thank you to No C D for sponsoring this episode. Okay guys, raise your hand if your brain has ever convinced you of something that made zero sense.

Speaker 2 Out of nowhere, you get this really disturbing thought about something like getting a serious disease, even though you don't feel sick.

Speaker 2 And then it just really freaks you out because even though you know it's probably unlikely, it feels so real that you just can't let it go. Yeah?

Speaker 3 Same.

Speaker 2 So that might be OCD. Are you surprised? I totally get it.
I was too. I have OCD.
For the longest time, I had no idea.

Speaker 2 I thought OCD was all about overthinking, dwelling, asking the same question 500 times and thinking something was constantly wrong. But no, OCD can be about a billion different things.

Speaker 2 Relationship doubts, weird or violent thoughts you don't want to have, super intense fears, urges to do certain things because you feel like the things you're fearing might come true or some other bad thing that might happen if you don't.

Speaker 2 Literally, anything that sticks in your brain. And we need to talk about it more.

Speaker 2 Because if you're having really alarming thoughts that just keep coming back and doing things to try to get rid of them, and it's making you feel hopeless, exhausted, scared, or even like you're a terrible person, you need to know that it doesn't have to be like this.

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No CD matches you with a therapist who specializes in OCD, so they don't judge.

Speaker 2 They totally get what's going on in your brain, and they've heard it all before. And that's huge, you guys, because I know those thoughts can be really hard to talk about.

Speaker 2 No CD therapists do a type of therapy called called ERP that was made specifically for OCD, which is why it works so well.

Speaker 2 They meet with you virtually, so it's really convenient and they have a ton of helpful in-app tools for you to use when you need support between therapy sessions. And they take insurance.

Speaker 2 Head over to nocd.com to set up a free call with their team and find out more. That's nocd.com.

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Speaker 3 I mean, so many things.

Speaker 3 You know what I've realized?

Speaker 3 Like, what's so interesting about this whole walk is

Speaker 3 you start out, like you're from the world, you become a Christian, you start following Jesus, and it's all the big sin that feels like the problem.

Speaker 3 Like it's all, it's the drinking, it's the sex, it's the this, it's the that, it's all the bad things, it's the swearing or like whatever, all those things.

Speaker 3 And then you realize, like, oh no, actually, those are just symptoms of deep-rooted issues, and those are actually a lot easier to lay down because when you get delivered from like alcohol or swearing or impurity or like all that stuff, it's like you get delivered and you lay it down and you're all set, you know, and God like works supernaturally like that.

Speaker 3 Like, that's how it always is for me. I could lay things down like this.

Speaker 3 And then He's like, Okay, thank you. We sifted through all the garbage, we got rid of all the symptoms, and now I can get to work in your heart.

Speaker 3 And then what's been crazy for me, specifically the past six months of my life, God has taken me into like deep, deep, deep heart work and trauma work. And I come from a family who

Speaker 3 anyone who is an immigrant family, like it's very normal for us.

Speaker 3 You, you all, every Albanian girl that I know and anyone with like a similar culture to me, like your parent, like they don't talk about trauma. Like, nobody talks about trauma.

Speaker 3 Nobody values heartwork. It's just not a conversation.
Like, like, rightfully so.

Speaker 3 These people are like trying to survive and leaving, that, fleeing from their countries, and, like, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 And so, for me, like, God has had to father me in my own heart and take me through deep, deep heart work.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 there's so much, there's so much. And then, he, you, you, it feels like you're healing from one thing, and then another impurity comes up, and then another trauma, and then another issue.

Speaker 3 And oh, that's why I'm like this. Oh, there's this fear in there.
So, I think for me, I'm like, I mean, specifically right now in this season,

Speaker 3 I just like

Speaker 3 any like

Speaker 3 guards that I had, like how you feel. I feel like a child.

Speaker 3 I feel like a kid. And I know it's amazing and I know it's beautiful, but I am exhausted and I'm like so.

Speaker 3 I don't know. It's just really hard.
And like, I'm grateful for the journey and I'm grateful for all of it, but I just feel like a kid.

Speaker 3 Like, I feel like I'm having to, I've spent my whole life putting up walls and guarding my heart.

Speaker 3 And, like, we've talked about it before, like, you know, taking a position of power, and I don't care, and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 3 And, like, it's almost like I'm not even choosing to, but God's just not letting me act like that.

Speaker 3 So, I'm having to face everything, and it's beautiful, but I'm in pain, and I am like, it's so vulnerable. And so, yeah, I think I'm being continually delivered from just childhood patterns of

Speaker 3 of sweeping things under the rug and pretending like things are okay when they're not and it's just it's hard and it my biggest issue with it is it just feels like it's all the time yeah you know it feels like it's always something and and I don't want it to be like that but I just feel like that's where God has me and I'm choosing to lean into it like if I've learned anything

Speaker 3 my automatic and I think you're the same way is that like my default is disassociation. Like something's too much, disassociate.
Something's too much.

Speaker 3 I'm put, like, I can literally detach from my emotions. I've done it my entire life.
And it's as if God like took away that ability. I can't do it anymore.

Speaker 3 And I'm making the decision to engage in every uncomfortable feeling and issue. Did I answer the question?

Speaker 2 Yeah. One of my biggest battles, this is the first one I can think of.
I think I struggle a lot with feeling adequate.

Speaker 2 I think my confidence has gotten so much better, but I still very much struggle. Like,

Speaker 2 am I good enough for this? Am I,

Speaker 2 did I do okay?

Speaker 2 Did I sound stupid? I have found myself a lot recently actually like feeling kind of stupid, feeling like what I said is not good enough.

Speaker 2 And so I think

Speaker 2 I'm really trying to,

Speaker 2 I don't know, I've just always struggled with that, like with my mind and

Speaker 2 my, like just feeling just not adequate. I mean, and now that a mongrel has gone by and I expose a lot on here.
I'm very vulnerable and I'm very open. And that's been really tough.

Speaker 2 It's been very freeing, but it's also very tough because I'm like.

Speaker 2 I felt so accepted by being vulnerable, but at the same time, I think when you struggle with your mind and your thought life and not feeling good enough it's also equally really hard and so I'm just trying to

Speaker 2 that's been something that has been a battle for me just like struggling with confidence and feeling good enough and

Speaker 2 God has shown me so much that the very things that I was about to say and the very things that I've always doubted myself in like my weaknesses he shined his glory through every weakness and used it as my strength And he's so funny like that.

Speaker 2 That's what he'll do. The very things that you think that you lack in, he uses for his glory.
And he did that with me. I never felt good enough.
I never felt smart enough.

Speaker 2 And he said, oh yeah, well, I'm going to use all that for my glory. And so

Speaker 2 I know I'm learning and I'm real.

Speaker 2 I know that it's not about what we think we are or how wise we are, how long we've been in school or if we have a college degree he is our wisdom he is and he is and um you are can i please truly

Speaker 3 your wisdom

Speaker 3 is literally what saves people you are so incredibly wise you haven't even been a christian for like

Speaker 3 following Jesus for three years and your wisdom I'm sorry I'm just gonna say it we sit up on panels with people who have been Christians their whole lives and you not only keep keep up but you like your wisdom shines and you know that and you have the voices that tell you that that's not the truth but you equally like you're very aware yeah you're aware how wise you are yeah and like your wisdom in your vulnerability but it's wisdom like you it's lived experience it's something that can't be bought with a college degree yeah you've lived more life than the average person and so it off you have a lot to offer yeah but i'm noticing thank you for for saying that i'm just i'm noticing that that is one of the biggest battles even in kids like young girls even guys

Speaker 2 like the the mind the mind is everything that's like our biggest um battle for all of us is is the mind it attacks it tells us lies it keeps us not doing what we want to do it keeps us slaves in our mind.

Speaker 2 I was a slave in my mind my whole life since I was a little girl. And so,

Speaker 2 but I'm aware of it and the word has healed me. Jesus, the being in the, the, in my secret place with the word has healed me so much, but it's still an ongoing battle.

Speaker 3 And I think it's encouraging for people to know that Satan will always, always, always, always accuse you in every area of your life and specifically in your adequacy.

Speaker 3 Because then you won't do anything, then you won't try. Of course he's going to attack you.
And no matter how much confidence you gain in Jesus, don't ever expect the attacks to stop coming.

Speaker 3 The weapon will be formed, but it won't prosper. So he's going to accuse you.
He's going to attack you.

Speaker 3 But with your tools and your ability and your experience with Jesus, you're able to overcome those thoughts and ask Jesus, hey, speak truth. I'm listening to this insane lie that I'm not good enough.

Speaker 3 I'm not smart enough. Literally, you can look at the evidence of your life.
you know that that's not the case.

Speaker 2 But you know what I'm realizing and I see it in so many other people's life now that I see see where God put me I'm like no wonder why I'm attacked so much in the mind No wonder why that's the one thing he attacks so much in my life is my mind of course now look at my life duh so it's like I elaborate on that why because that's what God used because that's what God used and that's actually my strength.

Speaker 2 I'm not I'm not in an I'm not stupid. I'm not

Speaker 2 like all these things that I thought I was since I was a little girl. Look at where I am.
Like God, you know what I mean? And so, and I see that in so many other people.

Speaker 2 I see the most beautiful people, the most kindest people, and they're the ones who suffer the most because they're actually carrying something so significant. They're kind, but they don't feel kind.

Speaker 2 They're beautiful, yet they feel unattractive.

Speaker 2 And it's so, so I know that and I've seen it so much, even with you guys when I'm when we meet you guys at the shows. And so I always tell myself, oh, he's attacking me with this.

Speaker 2 That's because I'm actually the devil, is scared because he knows I'm about to do something good, it's because I'm at the actual opposite. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 And so, when you are getting attacked like that, it's because you're carrying something so special.

Speaker 3 I love that so much, it's so true.

Speaker 2 Dealing with

Speaker 2 forgiveness versus the healing process.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'll talk a a little bit about forgiveness. You can talk about healing.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. Are you want to start? No, no, you.
Forgiveness is something that I wrestled with God a lot about.

Speaker 2 And even at times when I've talked about forgiveness, I've then went home and said, God, am I preaching the right message? Because

Speaker 2 I still

Speaker 2 feel angry in my heart. That's the truth.

Speaker 2 Forgiveness has really been

Speaker 2 one of the biggest battles for me because

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 2 I, I, it is, I don't know, like, it's been something that I, I've like, I, when I listen to people and they're like, you have to forgive them.

Speaker 2 If you want to go to the next level of your life, if you want God to forgive you, you have, and then I hear these stories of like people being like, so I forgave them and I was free.

Speaker 2 And I would listen to these people and I was like, how?

Speaker 2 Like, and I was was so embarrassed to actually say that because I am walking with Jesus and I still

Speaker 2 had a hard time understanding how

Speaker 2 recently I have come to the realization of

Speaker 2 forgiveness is not,

Speaker 2 forgiveness is not being like,

Speaker 2 I'm all better.

Speaker 2 God does not ask us to be superhumans and then all of a sudden wake up one day and be like,

Speaker 2 oh, I look at them in a place of love. God bless them.
No, that's not the reality of it. It really isn't.

Speaker 2 And that's, but that was my perception of how to forgive someone, to love them, and to like look at them in a place of love, which, yes,

Speaker 2 that takes time though. That takes time to look at them from a place of love and not be so hurt by what they did to you.

Speaker 2 And so when I, and so, what I have done this past year is I've noticed that when I turn from God and I don't bring my pain to him,

Speaker 2 that is when my heart gets hardened and that's when I start speaking bad. I have unforgiveness in my heart.

Speaker 2 So, I don't know. For me, forgiveness is going in my secret place.
being open, being honest, not saying,

Speaker 2 I love them, I bless them. No, it's a it's forgiveness is coming with an honest heart and being like,

Speaker 2 I need help. Do you guys understand that

Speaker 2 when people ask me how to pray, like sometimes the most powerful prayers literally help me? Like, I need help, like, I have unforgiveness in my heart.

Speaker 2 I am hurting. My heart feels like it's bleeding, and I can't stop thinking about this situation and what happened.
I can't can't let it go. And I need your help.

Speaker 2 And as you meditate on his word, as you sit in that secret place with him and

Speaker 2 you come

Speaker 2 before him with the honesty and the rawness of how you're feeling,

Speaker 2 the time you spend with him and the honesty you bring to him,

Speaker 2 bringing that together, then you'll notice that your heart softens

Speaker 2 and you'll notice that you feel better.

Speaker 2 And that, to me, is how I'm able to deal with forgiveness.

Speaker 2 The more time you spend with him, and sometimes you're so upset, and you have so much unforgiveness that you need to spend day in and day out.

Speaker 2 There has been days where I had to sit all day with Jesus, and I still do because I notice I have this anger in my heart.

Speaker 2 And the more I sit with him, and the more I read his word, and the more I cry out, and the more I say, I don't feel good, and I'm honest, I notice that my heart softens so much, and then forgiveness comes.

Speaker 2 And that isn't an overnight thing. Sometimes it takes a year

Speaker 2 of repetitively sitting with him and bringing it to him, and your heart will just keep getting softer and open. And so, for me, that is what, that is how you deal with forgiveness.

Speaker 3 That is so beautiful. You are,

Speaker 3 it's hard. it's really hard and the temptation to as a christian specifically to be like

Speaker 3 i have jesus so everything is good of course i bless you father forgive them for they don't know what they do you know what i mean like it's

Speaker 3 On GGV, we're all about being so unbelievably real. We're not here to give you guys some regurgitated information.
You've heard it, and it's all real. It's all true.

Speaker 3 Like, yes, we forgive because Jesus forgives us. That is the basis of forgiveness.
Like we you have to forgive people because Jesus forgives us. And so if we don't forgive them, God won't forgive us.

Speaker 3 It's literally scriptural. But at the same time, forgiveness not only takes time, it takes work.
You have to work through these things. I sound like a broken record, but like it's all heartwork.

Speaker 3 You have to process and really genuinely work through.

Speaker 3 And it's not even just about that isolated incident.

Speaker 3 Whatever traumatic event happened that has caused unforgiveness in your life is tied to a deep rooted issue in your heart that probably comes from your childhood.

Speaker 3 It's not even just about that moment or that hurt or betrayal. It's tied to something so much deeper.
And if your forgiveness isn't going, you have to go deeper.

Speaker 3 You have to reach places in your own heart that are like so terrifying to go to.

Speaker 3 But if the forgiveness isn't coming off with all that work, I believe it's because it's tied to something much deeper and you're only scratching the surface with the work that you're doing you know and then I think too like forgiveness is a supernatural thing forgiveness is a grace from God

Speaker 3 God can't impart grace when you have a barricade up and so like Ari said going in and lying and saying, I bless, and it's beautiful to bless. It's like a great tool that you have.

Speaker 3 And it does change the like position of your heart. And it does do something to just be like, I bless him.
I bless him, I love him. But, like,

Speaker 3 if you're lying to God and you're not being honest, like, there's a barricade, and his grace can't go through that.

Speaker 3 You have to invite it in, and you have to say, I'm weak in my own bitterness, in my own unforgiveness, and I need your grace. I need your spirit to come do a supernatural work in my heart.

Speaker 3 Because at this point, no matter how much talk therapy or any sort of therapy we do, it's not coming out. So, it's all things, it's practical and it's spiritual, it's It's work.
It's processing.

Speaker 3 It's therapy,

Speaker 3 getting to the root of the issue. And it's like allowing God, like, to do a supernatural work in your heart.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 How do I make the most of my single season?

Speaker 2 How do I make the most of my single season?

Speaker 2 I've said it once and I'll say it again. If I can tell you anything,

Speaker 2 don't waste it.

Speaker 2 I've definitely had moments of wasting days because I felt so sad and lonely, but the one thing that I will never regret is that

Speaker 2 I have said I am going to have the greatest time with my girlfriends. I've went on adventures that I've never thought I could do.
I've made

Speaker 2 friends, I've pushed myself.

Speaker 2 I'm so proud of myself because there were times, there were things that I never thought I could do, but because I was single, it it forced me to push myself to do it.

Speaker 2 I've made friendships that I will have for the rest of my life. I get to,

Speaker 2 I get to wake up and just be with Jesus, just me and Jesus.

Speaker 2 I focus on him, which has been... In 1 Corinthians verse 7, he said, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.

Speaker 2 An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.

Speaker 2 And while being married is so amazing, so isn't being single. And it's the time to do the Lord's work.

Speaker 2 There are times I had this moment the other day where I started crying of joy and I was like, thank you for having me in the single season.

Speaker 2 Because I'm single, I get to sit here with you and just be with you and focus, which is really,

Speaker 2 although if you are with someone who's, you know, also following Jesus and you guys do it together, but it is harder.

Speaker 2 There's things that we just have to take advantage of when we're single. You spend that time with your friends.
You do things that you could would never be able to do.

Speaker 2 Adventures, trips with girlfriends.

Speaker 2 Don't waste your time, these precious moments with your friends, whether you're a guy or a girl, dwelling that you're not in a relationship because singleness is such a gift.

Speaker 2 It's a time to be with friends and family. I don't want to waste that time with my family.
These moments are so precious. You will regret it.

Speaker 2 So really soaking in this time with your loved ones, with your friends, with your family, going on adventures, just focusing on Jesus. What does he have for you?

Speaker 2 When you're single, it's because he has a mission for you. So

Speaker 2 what is he trying to teach you? What does he want you to work on? The one thing God does not want you to do is waste this time.

Speaker 2 He has you in this position for a reason, and it's not to sulk and dwell and be upset.

Speaker 3 100%. And what I would add to that, Ari said, it's harder to have a spiritual life when you're dating.

Speaker 3 If you're dating someone and it's pulling from your spiritual life, that's not the right relationship. A good relationship will actually only bring you closer to Jesus.
And if you,

Speaker 3 you know, are dating someone, that it will only like hinder your spiritual life or your relationship with Jesus. And it should be quite the opposite.

Speaker 3 You know, like being with a godly person should actually only be completely edifying and should only push you closer to Jesus.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, if you are in a situation where some of it's like pulling you from Jesus, I can probably guarantee, unless you just need to rework some boundaries,

Speaker 3 there's just some work that needs to be done there because a true godly relationship should make you more like Jesus and push you closer to Jesus. So true.

Speaker 2 So true. Afraid to self-sabotage with anxious attachment.
The closer you get to Jesus, the more he breaks that off of you because you are not relying on someone.

Speaker 2 You don't have that anxious feeling when you are in a relationship, when you've been in this season of waiting and focusing just on Jesus. And

Speaker 2 because you become so anchored in him that you, if somebody comes or goes, it doesn't matter because you're confidence and you're anchored in him.

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Speaker 3 Someone said, what do I look for in a Christian partner? And, you know, Ari and I have talked about this a little bit, how

Speaker 3 being specific in what you want is probably one of the most important things I think you can do because

Speaker 3 If you don't know what you want and what you're supposed to want, how are you going to recognize it when it comes? You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 And I think, like,

Speaker 3 for example, before I met John, I really fine-tuned what it was that I wanted. I was really certain.
I really knew.

Speaker 3 I knew my like top few priorities. And I knew like my overall priorities, like a good man.

Speaker 3 What really mattered to me was like looking at his, his,

Speaker 3 you know, his friendships and and is he around all married men um who love their wives and care for the their wives and value families or are they surrounded by a bunch of bachelor single guys who just want to party and you know not saying that a good man can't be in that environment but it does make it a lot more difficult when everybody around them is living a certain lifestyle that doesn't value marriage and family.

Speaker 3 So for me, I was like, it's so important to me that he has good, godly men around him, older men that speak into his life.

Speaker 3 And then I just knew for me personally, like, I got really specific even in how I wanted like our spiritual lives to mesh. Like, I knew what mattered to me was being with a man who

Speaker 3 could cover me in prayer. Like, that was one of my main things.
And I'll tell you all the time, I was like, he's going to be prophetic and he's going to be this and he's going to be that.

Speaker 3 And if God didn't bring me those things, that's okay. But I knew what I wanted and I knew the why behind what I wanted.

Speaker 3 And I got to a place in my own heart where there was no more superficiality of like, I want this because of this. It was nothing that was self-serving or just like...
coming from an impure place.

Speaker 3 And when you go deep enough with Jesus, he legitimately replaces your heart with his heart. Your desires become his desires.
So you want for yourself what God wants for you.

Speaker 3 And everything that I asked for, I said, I need a man who's going to pray for me. I need a man who's going to pray for my children, who's going to raise my kids in a godly home.

Speaker 3 Like I needed a man who was like Jesus. And that's what I looked for.
And that's like what I knew I would have.

Speaker 3 I didn't look for it. I just knew that that's what God would bring me because I knew my heart was aligned with his.
And he brought me somebody literally who is all of those things. so much more.

Speaker 3 So it's just about, it's about the heart. It's about the heart.
It's about your heart and what you're asking for.

Speaker 3 And it's about the other person's heart, their character, their level of loyalty and faithfulness. Just knowing why you want what you want and getting specific with it.

Speaker 3 He needs to be deeply, deeply, deeply rooted in Jesus. And he needs to.

Speaker 3 be a faithful, good man who has the right perspective on marriage. That's what I think a lot of people miss.
It's not just that you can't be with a guy who just wants a wife.

Speaker 3 You need a guy who wants to be a husband. You can't just be with a girl who wants a husband.
You need to be with a girl who wants to be a wife.

Speaker 3 There's responsibility and marriage isn't like I know we hear it all the time, but marriage really isn't to make you happy. It's to make you holy.
That's why it's hard.

Speaker 3 That's why the deepest friendships and relationships are the hardest because they make you more like Jesus. They're supposed to be hard because it's not just about being happy.

Speaker 3 It's about producing something in you and letting God form himself in you. Someone asked just about purity and dating.

Speaker 3 And I will say that Ari and I went on a long journey of purity. We've been walking in purity.

Speaker 3 We value purity above everything, physical purity, emotional purity, purity in your heart and in your thoughts.

Speaker 3 And physical purity, when you're not dating, is really easy.

Speaker 3 Talk about it. It's really easy.
I am really, really blessed that the only dating relationship that I've had is with a man as pure as the one I'm dating. He's incredible.

Speaker 3 I can't even imagine dating a guy who's not like that. And can I be honest? Sometimes I like fear.
It's just scary because if fear,

Speaker 3 just any girl or a guy that's in a position, if the other person tempts you even a little bit, it's like, You can't do it.

Speaker 3 Both people, both people have to be so on the same page that you don't even want that person to even remotely get there and this is going to sound really weird and it's kind of maybe a topic for another day but like

Speaker 3 people always ask what's the line and i didn't really know how to answer this until being in the in this position and i realized it's not about what you do or what you don't do it's literally about your heart it's about your heart the position of your heart, the desires of your heart, who has the affection of your heart.

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 I'm just going to say it, and I don't know if I'm going to keep it in, but a few months ago, and John and I, just for my GGB people who like, this is what matters to us so much.

Speaker 3 Like, we care so much about, because it's so hard. It's so hard.

Speaker 3 And if you're like, you get into a relationship, you start talking about marriage, you start talking about engagement, things start to get like blended.

Speaker 3 And you're like, oh, but it feels, you just like, you have to have right narratives about this and you have to go prepared because it gets really tough.

Speaker 3 And I'm only being this honest because I love you guys. We love you guys so much and we want you guys to be like, to be powerful in this area.

Speaker 3 John, we've not even remotely even close to crossed any sort of boundary. And I can honestly say that, like not even close, nothing, nowhere.
And still.

Speaker 3 A couple months ago, we decided that we weren't even going to make out.

Speaker 3 And I know it is so insane that at this point in my life, I decided I'm going to be in a relationship. We decided to stop even making out because we thought, for what?

Speaker 3 We're not going anywhere with this. No, we didn't cross any boundaries.
No, nothing happened. But I realized, like, I realized that purity isn't about what you do.
It's about what's in your heart.

Speaker 3 It's just my heart went from

Speaker 3 so devoted to Jesus and I love the sacrifice that I'm making to like managing. That's not the sacrifice Jesus is asking for.
He doesn't want you sitting there being like, oh, I wish I could.

Speaker 3 No, it's thank you, Jesus. I get to make this sacrifice.
Wow, it's goosebumps. You know, it's so weird, but it's like, I just want to tell you, the improvement of our relationship.

Speaker 3 Not that we were even remotely walking in impurity, but the purity that we're walking in now, there is no confusion. There's no arguments.

Speaker 3 It's only boldness and confidence in each other, in ourselves. We walked through some things with pasts and stuff.

Speaker 3 The second we chose full purity, I'm not even going to let my mind go because, and then you get to a point where you have to start guarding your mind.

Speaker 3 And it's like, and it's natural, these things are natural. But if you don't even let yourself awaken that part and go there, and trust me, if I can do it, you can do it.
I promise you that.

Speaker 3 Even the things that we were struggling with about past or whatever it was, the second we start walking in purity, everything goes.

Speaker 3 Not one thought of like, oh, no confusion, no, it just sows discord between you when there's any bit of impurity. I'm telling you, it is, I'm telling you this in real time, what I've discovered.

Speaker 3 Like, I've never done this before. This is my first pure relationship.
I can't believe again, once again, Jesus does what he says he's going to do. It's not by accident.
Peace comes from obeying.

Speaker 3 It does. Peace comes from walking in true purity.

Speaker 2 I'm glad you shared that because so many people don't know what the fine line is. They're like, well, we're living in purity, but can we, you know, can I sleep at his house?

Speaker 2 Or can I, you know what I mean? Totally. And

Speaker 2 that's so good that you just said that because so many people are confused about that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know. One day I'd love to have a whole episode on it because I'm discovering it in real time.
It's like,

Speaker 3 it's insane. And no wonder people get so confused because

Speaker 3 like Satan really is able to come in and speak things and be like, It's okay, just a little, like, he just his ability, and then you become desensitized to it.

Speaker 3 And things that it's just, it's just such a journey that you have to be so aware. And it takes two people who are radically committed to purity.

Speaker 3 That I don't, honestly, I'm just going to say, I don't try to turn him on, and he doesn't try to turn me on because we're hurting each other if we try and do that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I know. I've even, I know, you've, it's,

Speaker 2 believe me, watching you guys has

Speaker 2 opened my eyes a lot because I've never been in a like a real Christian relationship. I haven't.

Speaker 2 And so you're kind of the learning block for me because I'm like, wow, it is so crucial to have such

Speaker 2 a man of God. Like, you wouldn't be able to stand without it who is so submitted to him.
How would you be able to even stand?

Speaker 3 I could not, I would, and you could, but it'd be so hard.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You'd be miserable and, and you'd fight, and you'd just have like anxiety and you look at it.

Speaker 2 And temptations.

Speaker 3 You know? It's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

Speaker 3 Getting

Speaker 3 dating to getting married, it's like so weird because it's such a short season. And we, what it has helped so much with him and I is that we've just taken the emphasis off of

Speaker 3 like sexual desires completely. Yeah.
Like we just don't make a big deal deal about them. Because guess what? Sex is really not that big of a deal.

Speaker 3 And then you get married and it's 0.03% of what you do. And while you're dating, you make it such a big deal.
And it's like, it's this massive sacrifice.

Speaker 3 And God has, he just broke something in me specifically where I just realized like

Speaker 3 Satan tries to make it such a big deal. Like, how are you going to do it? How are you going to make it?

Speaker 3 Your body has these desires and they're natural. Well, actually, if you don't let yourself go there, Jesus gives you the ability to kill those desires until it's it's time.

Speaker 2 Especially,

Speaker 2 they put it in society, too. You got to test drive the car before you drive it.
I mean, this is like.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then they leave you a year later, and you have soul ties for the next six years.

Speaker 3 Exactly. You know.
And you're living in hell. No.
God's way is so. Take it from two girls who have lived a lot of life.

Speaker 2 Please, please take it from us too. We've been through it.

Speaker 3 We have nobody telling us to feel this way. We've lived it.
I'm literally in real time reaping the benefits, reaping the benefits off of doing things the way that God is asking me to do.

Speaker 3 You have no idea.

Speaker 2 It's so beautiful.

Speaker 2 You've probably helped so many people

Speaker 2 while you just saying that.

Speaker 2 So many people struggle with this and it's

Speaker 2 oh, it's it's so hard. Relationships, living in purity,

Speaker 2 it's such a tough thing. And people, we need to talk about it more.
And it's vulnerable and it's hard, but we need to talk about it because that's why so many of us are depressed and being deceived.

Speaker 2 And relationships are ending because we're not doing it God's way.

Speaker 3 Exactly. It's so true.
If we know anything, what's the scripture? It's like, no temptation that is not common to man has overtaken you. Jesus was in all points tempted as you were, yet without sin.

Speaker 3 Therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace that you may obtain mercy and find help in a time of need. There is no temptation that any of us have ever felt that is not common to man.

Speaker 3 And there's no temptation that Jesus doesn't give us a way of escape. It says he gives us a way of escape.

Speaker 3 The Holy Spirit, the reason why Jesus even left us a Holy Spirit, his precious Holy Spirit is to empower us. He kills the sin and then he gives us the ability to overcome it.

Speaker 3 The Holy Spirit is the person, the beautiful person that literally gave us the ability to overcome this, to lay it down.

Speaker 3 And I just like, I just want you guys to know, what's the scripture that's like he who is in you is greater than that one too. 100%.

Speaker 3 100%.

Speaker 2 It's just,

Speaker 3 I don't know, but what I'm trying to say is

Speaker 3 if we, if you believe in Jesus and you believe in the gospel, but there's an area of your life that you say you can't overcome, then that means that Jesus dying on the cross wasn't sufficient.

Speaker 3 It means that when he says, My grace is sufficient for you because my power is made perfect in your weakness, you're saying that your grace isn't sufficient. But the truth is, it is.

Speaker 3 And I know it doesn't feel that way, but you have to change your thinking and realize that Satan is sowing lies in your mind, telling you that there's something that is too powerful for even Jesus to overcome in you.

Speaker 3 And we know that that's not the truth. Don't listen to Mr.
Loser, liar, Satan, because it's not the truth. The Holy Spirit gives you the ability to literally overcome everything.

Speaker 3 Your flesh is not more powerful than the cross. Sin, sex is not more powerful.
Your desires and urges and temptation, that is not more powerful than what Jesus did on the cross.

Speaker 3 He died specifically so that you could overcome. I promise you that you, like I said, he who is in you is greater than whatever is going on in your body.
You are so much more powerful.

Speaker 3 One thing I would suggest is just that you don't,

Speaker 3 you have to change your language too.

Speaker 3 There are still things in my life like idols and situations. Sometimes with eating and stuff and like disordered eating, I have a language to it that I begin in a place of defeat.

Speaker 3 Even now, I'm like, it's just so hard. It's just too powerful.
I just can't do it. I've just been this way my whole life.
But once you change that and be like, but that's, what did Jesus die for?

Speaker 3 For your freedom, for your liberation, so that he defeated sin in the grave so that you could defeat sin in the grave. He died in place of your sin.
He died so he could kill your sin in you.

Speaker 3 Like, truly, this is not just theological stuff. This is the truth.
This is real. So you have to step into the power that Jesus left you in his Holy Spirit because that's who empowers you to move.

Speaker 3 And you say, Holy Spirit, empower me.

Speaker 3 Give me the ability. give me power to overcome and that's literally his job so he wants nothing more than to do that for you and can i just say one more thing hearing you say that

Speaker 2 and i'm just speaking from what i went through when i gave up sin it required an immense amount of time with him.

Speaker 2 Because the more I spent time with him, because I was only four months into my walk and then it like hit me.

Speaker 2 But I had to, it took such a great amount of time to be with him, to learn who he is, to understand him, to then be like, you have walked with me through every foolish moment and you still loved me.

Speaker 2 And that caused me to love him, to like have that great reverence. And like, that's why we always talk about reverence for Jesus makes you,

Speaker 2 makes you look at him and have that epiphany of, I want to live for you.

Speaker 2 I don't, I, it, it, your, your, the desires of your heart start to change when you really understand his love for you. And it makes you say, you love me so much.

Speaker 2 You have loved me through every single stupid moment. I don't want to live that.
I don't want to do the things that you don't want me to do. I actually want to live for you.

Speaker 2 And even if there's things that I might still desire, makes you want to live for him. And, and naturally,

Speaker 2 naturally, as you grow into intimacy with him you your your desires of your heart started changing being in the secret place learning about him loving him looking at my life and seeing how he gave me so much grace and love through every foolish time and it naturally made me want to live for him yeah 100

Speaker 3 the only thing i'll add to that is like One thing that I've done,

Speaker 3 and this is just like an exercise you guys can do.

Speaker 3 Sometimes God will take me through like visual things in my quiet time recently i started doing this thing where if there's something in me that i don't like

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 3 i will recently what was it that i was feeling oh i think it was like

Speaker 3 i just

Speaker 3 my fear of man that's what it was just over this past two weekend and whatever I was really trying to differentiate between the voice of God and the voice of people and the fear of God and the fear of man and and I just realized like I I have fear of man in me people pleasing that has to die.

Speaker 3 Like it has to die. If I want to be the person that God has called me to be, and if he's going to call me into crazy situations, I have to die to the criticism of people.
Like I have to.

Speaker 3 And so recently I'm sitting and I'm like in my quiet time.

Speaker 3 they, you know, scripture describes Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit as being an all-consuming fire.

Speaker 3 So when you're in the presence of God, it should be an all-consuming fire fire that sets your heart ablaze for him and then it burns in purity.

Speaker 3 That's who he is, the all-consuming fire that purifies you from the inside out. And so I sit and I close my eyes and I imagine myself and I imagine

Speaker 3 this all-consuming fire coming and I like... It sounds weird, but like coming and sets my whole body on fire from head to toe.
I'm on fire. My insides are on fire.

Speaker 3 And I see specifically in that moment the fear of man. It's in me.
And I see it catch into flames and it starts to burn up. And I see it burning and burning and burning.

Speaker 3 And I feel like my whole body gets hot. And I feel like it's supernaturally like God is doing a purification.
And there's like a, you know, sanctification process of it.

Speaker 3 So it might not all happen in one moment. But this visualization of me.

Speaker 3 The fear of man is caught on fire and it's burning up and it's burning up and then at the same time my heart is set ablaze for Jesus. So all of the fear fear of man turns into ashes.

Speaker 3 And then the fear of God fills me up to replace that fear of man. And so I encourage you guys, if it's sex, lust.

Speaker 3 addiction, whatever it might be, whatever's in you that you're struggling with, mental illness, your thoughts, visualize yourself and then visualize Jesus, the all-consuming fire coming, setting your whole self on fire and purifying you from the inside out and setting each of those things that are in you on fire and letting him burn them out.

Speaker 3 and then you don't just let him burn burn it out though you have to invite the holy spirit to fill you back up everything that god removes any self-deliverance anything that you do that you say i cast you out in jesus name i rebuke you in jesus name you have to refill that place because now there's a void there's a place in your heart mind spirit body that jesus has to come fill with his presence because if you leave the door open and you leave the space open you don't know what can come come back so you just fill yourself back up with the presence of god and with the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 3 That's great.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be blazing up in my thoughts.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be blazing up. Blazing.
Not like that, but

Speaker 2 no one.

Speaker 2 All right, guys.

Speaker 3 We love you so, so much. We love you.

Speaker 2 We love you guys so much.

Speaker 3 Ari and I are. We're obsessed with you guys.
We're obsessed with you. We think about you.
We pray for you. We just adore you with all of our hearts.

Speaker 3 We're so intentional in our, the way we seek God to serve you guys better. And I hope that you feel that from us because we love you.
And this isn't just us behind a screen.

Speaker 3 This is us in your room with you because we're literally committed to you for life.

Speaker 2 It's really cute.

Speaker 3 Like we love him so much.

Speaker 2 We do.

Speaker 2 You're our world. You are.
That's all we do. It's all for you guys.
It's all for you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So may the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May He turn His face towards you and give you peace.

Speaker 3 I cannot say it now.