Sex Before Marriage | Girls Gone Bible
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Today we’re diving into the topic of sex before marriage and why it might not be God’s best plan for us. This isn’t about judgment but about understanding God’s design for intimacy and how it can help build a stronger foundation for relationships.
We’ll also explore the deeper implications of premarital sex, like emotional bonds and physical risks. By choosing God’s plan for intimacy, we can experience healthier relationships, grow in our faith, and find lasting fulfillment.
We love you so much. Jesus loves you more.
-Ang & Ari
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Transcript
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Speaker 2 What's up, bank girl? What's up, Ari?
Speaker 3 So where were you?
Speaker 2 Where did you get that coffee?
Speaker 2 I don't know. Oh, I got this next
Speaker 2 to my house, this new little coffee shop that I walked to.
Speaker 2 Um, but
Speaker 2 should we introduce ourselves? Yeah, hi, I'm Ari, and I'm Ange, and this is Girls Gone Bible.
Speaker 2 We are a faith-based pod, faith-based podcast where we talk all things: spirituality, mental health, relationships. Here, we love Jesus, we live by Him, we breathe by Him.
Speaker 2 We cannot make a decision without consulting Jesus first. We love the Bible, we are believers of the God of the Bible, and
Speaker 3 come as you are just don't stay that way.
Speaker 2 Come as you are, just don't stay that way. What's up, everybody?
Speaker 3 You evangelize, tells the story.
Speaker 2
Be careful what you ask for. Be careful what you ask for because he answers.
He does. So I was like, so
Speaker 2 I was so inspired by this woman that I met a few weeks ago who... She just basically tells all these stories about how she does not leave the house without leading somebody to salvation.
Speaker 2 Like every single day, if she leaves her house, she's leading somebody, she's giving the gospel to somebody and whatever.
Speaker 2 I am so inspired by that that I begin to pray all day, every day, Lord, give me opportunity, give me boldness, give me, just give me the chance, give me wisdom, show me how to talk to people and just give me the boldness to not be like,
Speaker 2 you're going to think I'm weird. Like you have no idea how much more receptive people are to the gospel than you think.
Speaker 2 And so right now I'm at creation and I I sometimes I'll go out into public and I'll ask God, I'll be like, Jesus, do you have anything for anyone? Any word, anything?
Speaker 2
Like, do you just, do you want me to talk to anyone? And then sometimes my head is purposely down. I'm in a rush.
I got to go. I'm not in the mood.
Speaker 2
Like the voice of God, there's a cutoff because like I'm just in my thing and I'm not thinking about anybody else. And I go to creation and I'm like that.
I was late to record today. I'm late.
Speaker 2 I like didn't have my makeup, whatever.
Speaker 2 I go to get a smoothie and then I look up and I literally this is what it feels like for a God to highlight somebody to you I'm like looking down I look up at the girl who's taking my order and I go and she it literally feels like God went wake up like that's what I felt like I literally just woke up I'm looking at her and I am so aware in that moment that I'm looking at her like through the eyes of God and he has something to say and so she's telling me about her cat and about how she has this new cat and um what did you tell her about the the smelling cat food no i didn't tell her but no i didn't tell her about i didn't tell tell her about pretty litter, but I did.
Speaker 2
She's like telling me how the cat keeps going on the counter and she needs to, like, she needs to figure out how to get the cat. She's freaking out.
She's so annoyed about the cat.
Speaker 2
And I tell her to put, like, because cats are afraid of cucumbers. I was like, have you tried putting? Yeah.
Go look up the videos about the cat. I don't know.
What do you know about that?
Speaker 2
I don't know. I don't know.
Go look up the videos about the cats with the cucumbers. And then, anyways, there's a point to this.
Jesus is in this.
Speaker 2
And then, so we're having a conversation about our cat. And then she's like, yeah, we like mentions that she's whatever, that she lives with someone.
I'm like, oh, who do you live with?
Speaker 2
And she's like, my partner, my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay.
And then, so we just keep talking and I'm talking to her. And then we're like, I'm waiting for my smoothie.
Speaker 2 We're making friends, whatever. And then when I'm leaving, I like go to open up like,
Speaker 2
you know, Jesus loves you. Give her the whole thing.
My mouth goes like, I don't know what happens, but my tongue like gets tied. And I go, You're so special and amazing.
I hope to see you soon.
Speaker 2
I leave. And she's like, so happy, like really, like really, really sweet girl.
So happy.
Speaker 2 And I knew, I knew as I'm having a conversation with her, all I can hear is like, she has the wrong idea about me. Like she, like God is saying, she, she, she has been told things.
Speaker 2 She has been made to feel certain things, probably because of the way that she lives her life. Like the way she lives her life has caused her to look at God in a way that he is not.
Speaker 2
And then so I leave, I go to my car. And I, I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm going back.
So I get in my car and then I pull around front and I'm like, but Jesus, I have, like, I got to go.
Speaker 2 I have to go, like, whatever. Can you get somebody else to do it? And then all I hear is, just tell her I love her.
Speaker 2
Just tell her I love her. I do, that's all you have to do.
I just want her to know that I love her. So I go inside and I'm like, hi.
And I say her name. I was like, this is so weird.
Speaker 2 She's probably like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 I'm like, this is, this is probably so weird, but I'm a Christian and I just want you to know, like, I literally tried leaving and I couldn't because I felt so heavy on my heart that God wants you to know that he loves you so much.
Speaker 2
And I know you probably have all these ideas about him and people have made you feel like you're not good enough for him or the way whatever. And I was like, but that's not true.
He wants you.
Speaker 2 He loves you. And, you know, and he's pursuing you.
Speaker 2 And then she's like, the look in her eye, like, this is a girl you would, you know, that she's probably not a Christian just by whatever outward appearances.
Speaker 2
And she's like, honestly, thank you. She's so receptive.
She goes, thank you so much. She goes, I grew up Christian.
I knew it. I literally knew it.
She's like, I grew up Christian and like, whatever.
Speaker 2
And she's like, but that, you have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you.
I hope you come back.
Speaker 2 And I want you to know that like the evangelistic call that we all have on our lives is one of the most important parts of our faith. Yes, you and your relationship with Jesus, so important.
Speaker 2
But it's not just for you. It's for we're called to go and make disciples.
Okay, tell them.
Speaker 3 Well,
Speaker 3 we just have the thought of because we are watching so many people around us, destruction, destruction, chaos, no peace in their relationships.
Speaker 3 Everyone's failing in every single one of their relationships around us.
Speaker 3
And it's really sad to watch and it's really sad to see the destruction. in their own hearts and in their own lives and yet they can't see the truth.
They can't see the light. They're confused.
Speaker 3 They can't say, wait a minute, this is why. So today we're going to talk about the implications of sex before marriage.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This has been something, you know, you guys know that we've done a purity episode, which is one of our most watched videos, obviously.
Speaker 2 And that was, you know, I don't even remember when that was, like, was that a year ago, maybe?
Speaker 2 Or like, maybe less, but I remember it was so much harder to talk about back then because maybe, you know, it was.
Speaker 2
whatever, it was fresher. Anyways, I was really hard before.
It was so hard to talk. Do you remember on that episode? I was like having a full-on panic that whole time.
Speaker 3
I couldn't even like, I couldn't explain. I was like going in the middle of the streets, like yelling at people to stop having sex.
I'm so full with it.
Speaker 2 I know. No, you really are so good about that.
Speaker 2 Ari will literally meet someone and be like, you having sex?
Speaker 2 Okay, well, you know, right, that sin leads to death. It is, there's just such a beauty in the way that you do things.
Speaker 2
But yeah, we want to have a conversation. And yes, it is biblical.
It is derived from and originates from, you know, what God says about us and our bodies and marriage and sex.
Speaker 2 But we want to have the most genuine, real conversation with you guys. And we're not here to preach you a sermon.
Speaker 2 We're not here to be pastors and preachers and whatever, or even like two girls on a podcast. We want to come here as your friends, as your genuine friends who love you with all of our hearts.
Speaker 2 And we want to be real with you and tell you,
Speaker 2 I know that so many people watching this right now
Speaker 2 are still not abstaining before marriage.
Speaker 2 And there is something about the Christian walk that you can be a legitimately devout follower of Jesus and still be having sex before marriage.
Speaker 2 And it's just like normalized in our culture: that this is the one area: like, don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, be a good person.
Speaker 2 But if you have sex, like it's about it, you know what I mean? If you live with your boyfriend, like it's okay, like you still love Jesus,
Speaker 2 and yeah, and he does, and he does,
Speaker 2 but
Speaker 2 you're robbing yourself and you are headed into a horrible, horrible direction and it ruins lives. It ruins lives.
Speaker 2 I'm just going to jump right out the gate and saying, I am so tired of seeing my friends and so many people out there in these four, five year long, two, three, four, five year long relationships where you're having sex every single day and then they break up and it literally ruins their lives.
Speaker 2 Like, people wonder why breakups are so painful.
Speaker 2
You're having sex. Like, I don't even know how to express it.
I don't even have the words to.
Speaker 2 I wish Jesus Himself could come down and tell us what He thinks about it so it could get into our heads because that's how bad it is. It tears you apart.
Speaker 2 I'll just speak from experience and saying that,
Speaker 2 you know, I
Speaker 2 it's funny because we were just saying how in the first purity episode it was really really hard to talk about
Speaker 2 and now it's so much easier because you know just with a little bit of time I remember we didn't want to talk about it too soon it is just absolutely insane what I've experienced even in my own life and like I have been in long-term relationships since I was really since I was young and you know intimacy before marriage was always a part of my relationships and I have no shame in saying that
Speaker 2
I didn't know. Like there was no culture around me of anybody pursuing purity.
And
Speaker 2 what the
Speaker 2 internal turmoil, the emotional chaos that I have experienced, the broken hearts that I've experienced through these long-term relationships ending that I was being intimate in.
Speaker 2 And on top of it, I have lived with boyfriends while being like, it's just all, I've done that twice where I've lived with someone.
Speaker 2 And those breakups, after two years, after four years, can you imagine what happened to my heart? What happened to my soul?
Speaker 2 Like, you're, we're sitting there, you guys, and we're pretending like we're married to these people with no actual commitment, no spiritual covering.
Speaker 2 You're not actually in covenant with God to where you're protected in that. You have no legal binding that, like, you know,
Speaker 2
you know, you know, um, enforces any sort of commitment. Someone can like up and leave you in two seconds.
I mean, it is just absolutely wild, the world that we live in, that this is what's normal.
Speaker 2 And if you really think about it, people can think that Christians are the weirdest people, all they want
Speaker 2 for, you know, pursuing purity and abstaining from sex. But if you actually look at it,
Speaker 2 How does it make sense to do the most sacred act ever of all time, the most spiritually, emotionally, and physically binding thing you can do with someone. It is dangerous.
Speaker 2
It's dangerous to do that outside of marriage. There is no covering.
And inside of marriage, it is the most beautiful thing that literally worship. Like God at Maddie said that it's worship.
Speaker 2
God is in you while you do it. It's the number one way.
Chad Veach said that that's how he fights spiritual warfare with his wife.
Speaker 2 If there's an attack on their marriage, you know, that's a way to fight spiritually, to bind yourselves back together, to say to the devil, no, you're not tearing this apart.
Speaker 2 We're coming together the way that God intended.
Speaker 2 But outside of marriage,
Speaker 2 it is the most dangerous, harmful thing you can do to yourself.
Speaker 3 And not only that, it's we, how can you know if you truly love this person?
Speaker 2
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Speaker 3
You're in a relationship and you then bring sex in it outside of marriage. You are so clouded and blinded by the lust.
You don't know if that's real love.
Speaker 3
Of course you're going to think you love this person. You're having sex.
It's a dopamine hit. You're on a high.
Speaker 3
Feelings get involved. Of course that.
So you will never know if it's truly love. And that's why the divorce rate is so high.
And that's why you get into marriage.
Speaker 3 And then all of a sudden, you realize, wait a minute, this isn't my person because you are so clouded with the lust.
Speaker 3 That's why you take sex out of it and you just leave with you and the person and you get to know each other on a spiritual level, God's way.
Speaker 3 That's when you know if something's real. That's when you know if something's from God.
Speaker 3 But the minute you put sex and you start doing things out of out of gourd, I call him gourd all the time, God Lord.
Speaker 3
The minute you start doing things out of the will of God, God cannot have his hand on it. You are blinded.
You are clouded. That is why everything is so messed up in today's society.
Speaker 3 That's why we are in four or five year long relationships and we are no ring on our finger. All of a sudden, after five years, he says, oh, you know what?
Speaker 3 Actually, I don't think I'm ready.
Speaker 2 What are we talking about? What are we doing? what please what are we doing
Speaker 3 what are we doing and i can just i'll talk about my own experience you know i had never been more destroyed in my soul in my life i'm with this person for years and then one day boom it ends and then my heart is completely shattered my mind is completely shattered and i'm left completely alone with the person that i just gave everything to you know a whole wife without the ring.
Speaker 3 I was a whole wife without the ring. It's right here.
Speaker 2 Me too, baby.
Speaker 3
And, you know, although God is in everything and he used it for my good, he really did. And that's why when we talk about this, I don't want anyone to condemn themselves.
Yes. I spent so
Speaker 3 like I spent.
Speaker 3 many months just living in shame and God took every broken piece that I went through and he used it and he redeemed me and re and he restored me and he's still restoring me and that was that's the implication that I have to deal with with living in sin.
Speaker 3 Yeah, and so
Speaker 3 after
Speaker 3 you know after I after that relationship ended and I was completely broken and I was just chasing the light. I had found Jesus right after my heartbreak and I was just chasing the light.
Speaker 3
I was in so much pain. And although he rescued me, I was still in such deep pain.
My mind was everywhere. I was just so unwell.
Like I was just unwell.
Speaker 3
And so as I was chasing Jesus, I just had this thought in my mind. Well, I have to, I have to move on.
I have to find somebody else. I have to move on.
Speaker 3
And so I wanted to get back out there. And then I started to date.
I was just still searching. Because I felt like I had to move on now.
And so I had no peace.
Speaker 3
And this is when I first started my journey. I had just started reading the Bible.
Angela and I just started Girls Gone Bible. So I was very new.
I was learning and I'm dating and I have no peace.
Speaker 3
And I'm thinking, what is going on? I have no peace in my life. He was calling me into a season of complete singleness.
And so many of us are operating in a place of loneliness. I was so lonely
Speaker 3 and I was still chasing something. And he was being like,
Speaker 3
you think you love me and you think you know me. And I know you're still getting to know me, but you really need to understand me.
You really need to seek me.
Speaker 3
You're still searching in all these things when you need to search me. Yeah, yeah.
For anyone who didn't read the story of the Samaritan woman, it's such a beautiful story.
Speaker 3 It probably relates to every single one of us.
Speaker 3
Jesus asked the woman for a drink. Sir, the woman said, you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep.
Where can we get this living water?
Speaker 3 And Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water i give them will never thirst indeed the water that i give
Speaker 3 the water that i give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life
Speaker 3 and so then the woman keeps questioning him and i'm just going to skip down
Speaker 3 um she said the woman says sir give me this water so i won't get thirsty and then he starts showing her that he's a messiah but Why don't you call your husband to come back?
Speaker 3
She said, I have no husband. And Jesus said, you are right when you say you have no husband.
The fact is you have had five husbands and the man that you are living with now is not your husband.
Speaker 3
What you said is quite true. And so in this, when I read this, he's not trying to shame her.
He's just trying to tell her.
Speaker 3 The water that you are drinking, you're trying to go to all of these areas to fulfill.
Speaker 3 Now you're with a man you're living with that you're not even married to, that she's probably having sex with and you're still not fulfilled.
Speaker 3 And so so many of us are operating out of a place of loneliness and brokenness. Half of the reason we're having sex is out of brokenness.
Speaker 3 I know for me, I was giving myself to people in relationships because that's where I found my love. That's where I thought they would love me.
Speaker 3 And so when you grow up in a and when you grow up in the world and you don't know better, when you want to pursue purity, it's really hard to do that when you're already in a relationship.
Speaker 3 So God taking me out of the season where I'm trying to date and putting me into a season of complete singleness with him was the greatest gift that he had given me.
Speaker 3
And I was sitting there being like, oh, I have to be alone. This is uncomfortable.
No, it was the greatest gift. And I know that it can feel lonely, but
Speaker 3
What he did during that time, it was the only way that I was able to see the truth. I'm reading the scripture.
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Speaker 3
Well, then obey my commandments and you'll know the truth and the truth will set you free. I couldn't understand that.
I was like, obey the truth and the truth will set you free. What does that mean?
Speaker 3 So when I entered into a season of singleness,
Speaker 3 And I was like, yes, I do love you. Okay, I'm alone now.
Speaker 3 Let me follow this. Let me keep reading the Bible.
Speaker 3 And as I kept understanding, follow my commandments, I kept understanding how much God just hates sin how much it's it goes against what he how much it goes against him when I was like okay God doesn't like this this is serious sin is serious we're all acting in today's society like it's not that big of a deal it's okay God still loves me it's okay he'll forgive me you know yeah and no that was what was separating me from him I'm in my Bible and I'm dating and I'm doing all this stuff and I felt so so much depression so I felt such a lack of peace in my life and it's because I was having one foot in and one foot out I was saying I love Jesus I'm reading my Bible I'm even preaching on girls gone Bible yet I'm still have one foot in.
Speaker 3 I'm still dating. I'm in a relationship and I'm still living in deep sin.
Speaker 3 How can we have any peace when we're out living the way we want to? How can we have any peace when we're doing the very thing that God is asking us? Don't do that.
Speaker 3 How can we say that we love Jesus with all of our hearts, but be doing the very thing that God doesn't want us to do?
Speaker 2 That he died for.
Speaker 3
Exactly. Exactly.
And so,
Speaker 3
and so when I started going intimate with Jesus, when I started really following him, I was like, that's it. That's it.
I love you with all my heart. Follow my commandments and you'll know the truth.
Speaker 3 This is the truth. When I made the decision to lie it all down,
Speaker 3
that's when I was truly free. We can have Jesus.
Yeah, that's one thing.
Speaker 3 But when you follow him, when you do the hard thing and you pick up your cross and you follow him and you make that decision, I know this is hard.
Speaker 3
I know that looks really good, but I say no because my life is separated to you. I love you more than I love that thing.
When you make that decision, because temptations come your way, it is.
Speaker 3 It's hard.
Speaker 3 It feels good, right? We want to do the thing that feels good, but not everything that feels good is good.
Speaker 3 And so when I made that decision to lie it down and I started really following him wholeheartedly, I put down the lukewarm Christian life and I really went all in with Jesus. That is when I was free.
Speaker 3
And that's why I sit on here so boldly and I will go in the middle of the street and I will literally say to people, stop, stop. That is why you are living in hell.
That is why.
Speaker 3 there is no peace in your relationship and you never will have peace. It's a fake peace from the world and then it ends up completely going to death.
Speaker 3
And that's why the Bible says anyone who sins is a slave to sin. If you're a slave to anything else but Jesus, you make idols out of that.
You can't have any peace.
Speaker 3 You can't truly follow Jesus if you are a slave to something else. So good.
Speaker 2
Oh, R. Your story with this is so inspiring.
And the reason why you're able to speak with so much boldness and conviction on this more than probably anything else is because you've lived it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 and this is true, and this really did happen in your life.
Speaker 2 And I think that there's just so much authority in you talking about this because you know, nobody told you to do this, nobody said, nobody raised you to believe this.
Speaker 2 You literally walked it out yourself, and you know, the difference.
Speaker 2 You know, you have had your heart, and me too. We've had our hearts absolutely destroyed and ripped out of our chest because relationships have ended that we are intimate with, and it is unnatural.
Speaker 2 It's not good, it's not normal. And I just want to speak to anybody right now who's in a situation where you are in a relationship right now where you're, it's not pure.
Speaker 2 And I just want to know where, we say it all the time, where sin abounds, grace abounds much more.
Speaker 2
As many times as there is sin, there is even more grace from Jesus. And so there's so much grace for the season you're in.
There's so much grace for what you don't know.
Speaker 2 And there's so much grace for what you struggle with. But I just want to say, we were at one of the shows and someone came up to me and she prayed and asked me to pray for her.
Speaker 2 And she said that she's in a relationship where she's, it was impure, but now she wants to pursue purity. And she said that,
Speaker 2 she said she doesn't know whether she should end it or not.
Speaker 2 And I have to say, I was, I spoke on what I believe to be true based on the Bible.
Speaker 2 And I really believe that if you are in an impure relationship currently, it's really hard to then begin to pursue purity together.
Speaker 2
I'm not saying it's impossible. However, I do believe that there may have to be a separation between you two.
That's not to say that you can't come back together.
Speaker 2 And that could be the case if both parties are heading straight for Jesus, hiding in the heart of Jesus, letting him cleanse you, letting him purify you, letting him change you from the inside out.
Speaker 2 And both, but you're on the same page, like both people are on the same page and want the same thing. And maybe you come back together.
Speaker 2 But I just know, and if you were in an impure relationship and you started following Jesus and that relationship was taken from you, Either they left or it fell apart.
Speaker 2 I want you to know that that is probably God's grace on your life.
Speaker 3 Oh, thank you for saying that. That was...
Speaker 3 That was really good.
Speaker 3 It probably everybody needs that reminder. It probably
Speaker 2 does.
Speaker 2 Yeah, because he loves us so much that sometimes he has to disrupt our entire lives and take things from us that probably aren't good for us.
Speaker 2 And I just want to say that if you are a girl or a guy who was in a relationship with someone who is not a follower of Jesus or they're kind of, but not really,
Speaker 2 you, I, I just, like, missionary dating doesn't work. Yes.
Speaker 2 Could you possibly, like where you end up with a person who's not a believer and you convert them, you know, and that, that, yes, but for the people that I love, which is you and my best friends and my best friends on the other side of this camera, I want you to end up with someone who is so on fire for Jesus.
Speaker 2 I want your main requirement be that their hearts burn for Jesus 24 hours a day. I want you to be in a relationship where you don't have to ask someone to pursue purity.
Speaker 2 I want you to be in a relationship where you don't, and I'm not saying that's necessarily bad, but I just want for the people I love to be with someone who's on the same page as you and you guys want the same thing because it's just too hard.
Speaker 2
It is too hard. It's too much.
It's hard for a man.
Speaker 3 It's hard when you when you go into a relationship with a man who doesn't know Jesus and they're they they don't know that they're not wholeheartedly in with Jesus.
Speaker 3 It's really hard as a man to lead you right.
Speaker 2
Oh, 100%. I mean, men are supposed to be leading in every area.
And even that one, a man should be leading you to purity.
Speaker 2 And I please, I have it so heavy on my heart that if you were in a relationship, I know how heartbroken you are, but if you were in a relationship and they didn't love Jesus with their heart, all their heart, and they...
Speaker 2 probably didn't even know him at all and you guys were having sex and it was impure, that relationship ending is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Speaker 2
God has a different plan for your life that is is so much higher, so much better than that. That is not the relationship you were meant to be in.
That's not how you were meant to live.
Speaker 2 I know how hard it is. And I know, especially if you were having sex and you had a soul tie, and especially if that person left you now, it's all tied into your own identity and your self-worth.
Speaker 2 Throw all that garbage out the window and let yourself
Speaker 2
start fresh. Let yourself start new because that was...
was a sinful past that you should no longer identify with. You shouldn't even want to to go back to something that was sinful.
Speaker 2
We talk about this. That was never God's plan for you.
If you were having sex, that relationship was not his will for your life.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 the person that he is going to mold you into,
Speaker 3
you have no idea. He is literally calling you higher.
He is bringing you into a season where he's like, look, I want to make you into my image. I know it hurts.
Speaker 3 But you don't understand. That wasn't my will.
Speaker 3 This wasn't of me where you were living in sin in this relationship the person that i'm going to grow you into if you would just surrender to me and submit to me and follow me yeah i know it's going to be hard i know there were soul ties i know you didn't fully walk in the will of god so you might have some repercussions and and you might have some brokenness that i have to work on and heal but wait till you get to the end of it you guys have no idea i look back at who i was
Speaker 3 i was living in i was living in deception I was living in ignorance. I thought this was a loving,
Speaker 3 godly relationship.
Speaker 3
I was lost. I didn't know.
And I thought it was the end for me. I thought, how am I ever going to come back to this? And he brought me into a season where he just transformed me into this.
Speaker 3
woman of God. And thank you, Jesus.
So anyone who's listening to us, thank you, Angela, for bringing that up.
Speaker 3 Take it as a blessing because our first goal is to thirst for him and to chase him so he can build you into the person of his image not to be living in this relationship in deep sin nothing good will ever come from that that you will never have peace in your life it's not it wasn't from god yeah it wasn't this is the confirmation i know that this there is something about this episode specifically that is speaking directly to whoever is listening that wasn't from him
Speaker 2 stop feeling like you missed out on something stop feeling like you want to go back. You are bigger than that, better than that, you're higher than that.
Speaker 2
And I just really quickly want to speak to this culture that we're living in. Now, my girls specifically, but guys too, because this goes for the guys too.
We live in a culture.
Speaker 2 that makes me so unbelievably sick to my stomach that men think that they can date you for as long as they want with no commitment, no intention, no vision, and no end in sight.
Speaker 2 People are like there is, why are we dating for no reason? You are not meant to become so emotionally attached to people.
Speaker 2 You are not supposed to feel like you're married to someone without being married. It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 Do not listen to what the world is telling you that you can just, oh, just to date, just to date, because you're young and you don't know what you want yet. Like, that is not, that's garbage.
Speaker 2 If you're not ready to get married, you shouldn't be dating, period. If he's not ready to get married, do not
Speaker 2 do not disrupt,
Speaker 2 do not disrespect yourself so much as to wait for a guy who tells you that he's not yet ready and by the way this happens to men literally like this men will say this in their 30s and it's the funniest thing to me in the world it bothers me so much and literally kills me when i see the most beautiful women in relationships with men literally in their 30s even if he was 22 i don't care men in their 30s who are like they're dating for so long and they're like yeah i'm still not ready i don't know what i want if that man doesn't know what he wants it means he doesn't want you and you need to and then that's not your fault that's it.
Speaker 2 Like you got to, you cannot let yourself be in that position.
Speaker 2 I'm sorry, I'm so passionate about it, but it's because I care about you guys so much and we're living in a world of absolute garbage, garbage where people are dating
Speaker 2 without the intention of eventually getting married. I want you to understand that anybody you date has to be so intentional in pursuing you and there has to be an end in sight.
Speaker 2
And you guys need to be on the same page. You need to be having these conversations.
You are not a placeholder.
Speaker 2 You are not a fill-in for somebody's loneliness or for their, you know, lack, lack of whatever they're missing in their life. That is not your place.
Speaker 2
You are not there to fill somebody's needs and voids and then to be discarded later. And it happens all the time.
And if it happened to you, it is not your fault.
Speaker 2 But we have got, we have got, we have got to play our part. We can't control what other people do, but we can play a part in who we choose to date.
Speaker 2 And they have to be good people who want to pursue purity with you. Yes!
Speaker 2
I wasn't even thinking about that. No, seriously.
I'm
Speaker 3
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Speaker 3 That's shopbam.com slash GGB and use code GGB for up to 40% off. I will tell you that all goes hand in hand with walking in purity.
Speaker 2 When and I'm gonna, this is just a girl who's who's lived it this past two years.
Speaker 3 Yeah. When I got to know Jesus and I understood, it sounded like the last episode.
Speaker 3 When I got to know Jesus and I understood his
Speaker 3 love, it caused me to say, this is real love.
Speaker 3
This is what real, true love is. I will never compromise again.
I will never be in a relationship and give up my own self-worth and still stay because I'm like, okay, well, maybe, well, maybe.
Speaker 3 When you're living in holiness, in walking in His will,
Speaker 3 you do not compromise.
Speaker 3 You learn when you know Him, you then know yourself, and you love yourself so much that you get to the place where you are centered, you are anchored, and you are confident in God.
Speaker 3 And you don't compromise, and you don't waste your time. And when you're in a relationship, you're like, Okay, I'm in it because
Speaker 3
I'm in it to get married. And you don't waste two, three years being like, Oh my gosh, you just broke my heart.
You won't live with a broken heart.
Speaker 2 We're all
Speaker 3 honestly, we're all having identity crisis because we're living however we want. So true when you think, when you think to yourself, I don't, I don't know who I am, I'm lost.
Speaker 3
Well, it's because you're living in sin, you're clouded. You don't, of course, you don't know who you are.
You're constantly doing things outside of the will of God because you don't know yourself.
Speaker 3
You don't know Jesus. You're living however you want.
But when we do know better, we have to do better.
Speaker 2 so good i just everything you said all i could hear was you're giving your body to somebody who's not your person why would we if we really think logically why would we do that why would we do that i just this isn't strictly about sex but i just want to talk to mostly my ladies but my guys too
Speaker 2 There needs to be a standard in even the guys that you're talking to.
Speaker 2 If there's a guy who's texting you late at night, who's texting you to go out for a drink at night or something, You need to also be careful because there are so many Christian men.
Speaker 2 There are so many non-godly men disguised as godly men. Yes.
Speaker 2 There are so many men out there who know scripture, who grew up Christian, who literally don't pursue purity and don't act like a godly man.
Speaker 2 You need to have such strong discernment and you know when you know, when you know, you know when someone isn't an actual godly man by his behavior, when is he texting you? What is he saying?
Speaker 2 Is he being being intentional?
Speaker 2 And I'm just going to say one more thing, and I'm so sorry, and I'm not going to say anything graphic, but there's a world, and we've been in this Christian world for a little bit now.
Speaker 2 There's a world. I remember when you and I started pursuing purity, and we were like straight up, like, don't even think, don't even think about coming near me, don't even, whatever.
Speaker 2 We learned that there's so many Christians who think that just having sex, that's bad, but then everything else is okay.
Speaker 2 That I just want to say that there are people who literally are, okay. I'm just going to say there are people who are virgins, and this is a really strong take, but it's mine and I'll stand by it.
Speaker 2 There are people who are virgins, so who don't have sex, so they're virgins, but they will literally engage in every other thing. But you know what I mean?
Speaker 2
They're engaging in all these things, saying that they're pure. They're like baiting and grooming women, being like, Oh, I'm a good Christian man.
You don't have to worry. Oh, but is this okay?
Speaker 2
Oh, but can I do this? Can I touch you here? Can I do this? I see it happen all the time. These are the men that you stay away from.
A man who pursues purity is one who says, I love,
Speaker 2 I love Jesus so much that I respect you so much that I will never put you in a compromised position where I affect my purity and yours.
Speaker 2
They don't text you late at night, they don't do all this crazy stuff. You guys are so smart.
You know, you know, somebody's intentions.
Speaker 2 You know, when somebody is not behaving, if your radar starts to go off, if you have to question and evaluate, huh is this guy godly because he does it he's probably not fully he's probably not fully living right if you have to even question it
Speaker 3 i love that you just brought that up because especially when you're a new christian and you meet a guy that's going to church and he is talking about god and how much he loves god you're like wow yes i'm with a christian man but then he wants to have sex with you he wants to do that is not he is not truly walking he is not that's and I'm sorry to say that because I was once that I was once calling myself a true Christian yes but living in deep sin so I'm not here to condemn anyone I'm saying that I was that way yeah and so you don't have to beat yourself up it can be so deceiving and especially us being in the Christian world where they're saying they're Christian men good Christian men they love God but they're they're not honoring women they're still having sex and even for girls too yeah talk about the girls too be careful Beware of the wolves in sheep's clothing.
Speaker 2
They're everywhere. They're everywhere.
Do not just listen to how somebody talks. You will truly know them by their fruit.
And I know that you guys know, and I just want you to have discernment.
Speaker 3
I was in a relationship where, and I remember myself like sobbing. I was like, but.
It was, he, he loved Jesus and it was, it was a good, it was, he was Christian and it was a good relationship.
Speaker 3 And I remember a mentor saying, was he leading you to purity? Was he honoring you? And I was like, no.
Speaker 3 and she was like then what are you crying for
Speaker 3 and I was like you're right like that it's true marriage was created as
Speaker 2 I think I talked about it last episode maybe but I marriage was created as this you know perfect representation a prophetic picture of our relationship with Christ he is the groom we are the bride and so when we marriage is like the most beautiful thing it really is so it's not something to idolize but it is so beautiful.
Speaker 2
And sex inside of marriage is the most beautiful thing. But sex outside of marriage, the physical, spiritual, and emotional implications on it.
Let's even talk about the physical implications.
Speaker 2 STDs are rampant in society. Everything that God asks of us is out of our own protection.
Speaker 2
It's only because he's like, I know that this thing is good, but it's good in this context because out of it's so good that it's dangerous. It's so good.
It's so special.
Speaker 2
It's so sacred that it has to have a covering. Otherwise, it's too deep.
It's too intimate. It binds you with somebody.
binds you with somebody. The physical implications of,
Speaker 2
you know, risking an SCD, which happens to people all the time. And it's almost so normalized that you got this thing.
Don't worry about it. Come take a pill.
Thank you, Jesus, for medication.
Speaker 2
That is like a form of his grace on the mistakes that we make. But like, that is another huge reason why we abstain.
And it's really, that should be enough motivation for all of us.
Speaker 2 Just our body,
Speaker 2 it's spiritual.
Speaker 3
It's spiritual. It's one.
You're not meant to be doing that out of the context of marriage.
Speaker 2
100%. You really aren't.
Please, for the love of God, stop giving your body to someone who's not your spouse. Stop giving your body to somebody who doesn't deserve it.
They don't deserve it.
Speaker 2
They don't deserve you. Please take it from two girls who have lived all the ways, done all the things.
Nobody is forcing us to make these decisions.
Speaker 2 And I know that you're watching this thinking, how, how could I possibly do it? How could I possibly give this up? How could I not have a relationship?
Speaker 2 I never thought that I would be able to have a relationship without this. I thought to myself,
Speaker 2 what is life? Who am I? What am I without this? Do you know how insane it has gone from literally being viewed as honestly
Speaker 2 a sexual physical object my whole life since I was a little person, a little child, like a kid. I remember being a kid and feeling sexualized and feeling objectified.
Speaker 2
And then you take it on as yourself and you say, Okay, this is what I have to be. I should be sexy.
And then you present yourself in this way that is so sexy and appealing.
Speaker 2
And please validate me because you think I'm sexy. It is the lowest form of validation to be sexy, to be desired for your physical body and what you can offer physically.
It's not real.
Speaker 2
It's not valuable. It means nothing.
And, and I remember you joked about it, how like you lost your oomph
Speaker 2
after, you know, not being whatever. And I felt that too, where I had a period of feeling unattractive.
I felt not feminine. I didn't feel good about myself.
Speaker 2 I saw it physically. I'm like, I just don't look.
Speaker 2 I just, I don't like the way I look because I don't have that thing. But then eventually you get used to it and you realize, oh, it's because I'm being valued for so many other things.
Speaker 2 And I know that my husband one day, I know that he's not going to value sexy.
Speaker 2
He's not, he's not going to value me walking around and looking or having that look in my eye or what I can offer. It is what, that is not the way that God wants us to live.
It isn't.
Speaker 3 It isn't. I love it.
Speaker 2 Beautiful, Ange.
Speaker 3
I agree. And I lived the same way my whole life.
And it left me feeling so empty and so broken. That's all I thought I was good for was my sex appeal, my looks, what I can give to a man.
Speaker 2 And that is the lowest layer of death.
Speaker 2
It's just, it's low. It's low.
It's vapid. It's empty.
Doesn't actually mean anything. Doesn't bring fulfillment.
Doesn't bring no fulfillment.
Speaker 3 And I look back at my life and I say,
Speaker 3
no wonder why I lived in depression. No wonder why I had no peace in my heart.
No wonder why my relationships always failed.
Speaker 2 We look for validation through sex, but somebody isn't going to be attracted to you forever without Jesus in their lives.
Speaker 2
I know. Oh, don't make me.
That's why there's so much divorce. Because everybody is thinking about, am I attracted to them? How do they still think they're sexy?
Speaker 2 I'm sorry to tell you, but the chemicals that you release in the honeymoon stage do not last forever. There's got to be something else to sustain your marriage and your attraction.
Speaker 2 And it's only Jesus.
Speaker 2
I'm going to throw up. I literally know men and women in situations where men like end up not being attracted to her after a little while.
She gets a little older. You're not attracted to her anymore.
Speaker 2 She gets pregnant with your own child and you're not attracted to her anymore.
Speaker 2 When a man doesn't have Jesus or a woman, because it is not just for men, when somebody does not have Jesus, they're not right in the head.
Speaker 2
They will not ever look at you right. They will not ever treat you right.
They will not, you will only be, how attracted am I to you in the fiery, fun part of our relationship?
Speaker 2 And once that's over, so sorry, the flame is gone. I got to go.
Speaker 3 All it is is they are trying to fill a void that you will never be able to fill.
Speaker 2
Their lust. They're lost.
They're lost.
Speaker 3 It's either going to be you, their work, and they're always going to have a lack of peace. And there will always be a lack of peace.
Speaker 3 in your relationship because if jesus isn't sitting in the center and you are not following in obedience to him it's death yes it's death it is and if you want to know why everybody if you look around,
Speaker 3
everybody is depressed. They're anxious.
They're breaking up. The divorce rate is higher in this generation than ever.
No one lasts. Five, seven,
Speaker 3 you go 10 years and oh, you're not even getting married in the first year. They're not even getting married.
Speaker 2
Because you're together for four years. And then obviously by that time, you're out of the honeymoon stage and you think that you just don't love the person anymore.
When really you just needed Jesus.
Speaker 2 That's all you needed.
Speaker 3 That's all you needed.
Speaker 2
Like you can't, we love because he first loved loved us. We cannot love someone in our own strength.
You can't love someone properly. You can't.
Speaker 2 You can be lustful and on fire for a little, but you can't love someone properly. You can't.
Speaker 2 Why is this our?
Speaker 2 There's authority in this because we live it, because we live it up.
Speaker 3
That's what it is. We did.
Our hearts were. My heart was destroyed because of this.
And I see so many of you running up to the altar when I meet you guys. Your hearts are destroyed.
Speaker 3 And I want you to live right. Jesus has such an amazing, peaceful everything.
Speaker 3 He has so much fruit at the end of the promised land, but it involves you walking in the will, it involves you picking up your cross and carrying it and following it. And it's not easy.
Speaker 3
He never said it was going to be easy, but it's worth it. It's freedom.
That's truth. There is freedom at the end of it.
Speaker 2 I'm trying not to be loud as you're talking.
Speaker 2
It's hard when you preach. It's really hard to shut up.
He's so good.
Speaker 2
Drop it, the mic. That's it.
Absolutely insane. Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, for the truth. Thank you, Jesus, for the truth.
It says it in his word.
Speaker 2 1 Corinthians says that it is the only sin that you commit against your own body.
Speaker 2
You're not only just hurting Jesus, you're hurting the other person, and you're hurting yourself. You are hurting yourself.
If we could do it, I swear you can do it. I promise you you can do it.
Speaker 2
There is nothing. He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
There is no sin, no addiction, no mental health. Nothing is too much for Jesus to get you out of.
He took captivity captive.
Speaker 2
If this has taken you captive, Jesus died on the cross to give you that power to overcome. You are not subject to this.
There is nothing that is too hard.
Speaker 2 In your own might, yeah, you may not be able to do it. With Jesus, there is nothing that is too hard.
Speaker 2
And then one day we're going to have a conversation about pursuing purity in a relationship because that is a whole other battle. Yeah, it is.
But, anyways, we love you.
Speaker 3 And if you're someone who is in a relationship and you're in sin and you're sitting here just feeling so convicted and you're feeling a little down, I want to let you know that we love you so much.
Speaker 3 And the fact that you're watching this tells me that you want to go the other way and you want to follow Jesus. And all it takes is you to just say, Lord, help me.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yes.
I need help.
Speaker 3
Help me. I repent.
Help me. Show me how I can let this go.
I don't want to keep living the ways of the world of what feels good for me. I want to live for you and what feels good for you.
Speaker 3 I want to be better. Help me.
Speaker 3 He will. If he did it for us, if we could lay down the way we were living our whole lives, living of the world, and we just completely laid it down and just completely went in with Jesus.
Speaker 3 If us two girls can do that, so can you.
Speaker 2 So good.
Speaker 2 Thank you, jesus i am on fire right now
Speaker 2 you want to go you want to go for a run you want to go for a run let's let's go for a run let's go for a run and call all of our ex-boyfriends and we will yell at them let's call all our ex-boyfriends and say why was i so heartbreaking over you you love the world you sinned okay just kidding let's
Speaker 2 let's go yell in the streets let's go in yellow
Speaker 3 Let's go tell everyone to stop having sex.
Speaker 2 Can we please? You already do that everywhere you go. I really do.
Speaker 2
We love you guys so, so much. Invite them into your circumstance.
Like Ari said, you are nowhere near too far gone. Be empowered.
This should empower you. Be encouraged.
Speaker 2 We're going to pray for you right in the comments if you want prayer about anything, even this specific,
Speaker 2
this specific thing. We love you so much.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
Speaker 2
May He turn His face towards you and give you peace and self-control. We love you.
You got this.
Speaker 3 You really do.