S9E6 - Nobody Likes Ares (All About Ares)

stories featured in Greaking Out are original adaptations of classic Greek myths.

This week's story features Aphrodite getting caught being unfaithful, unruly giants, sibling fights, vaguely worded prophecies, and forgotten family members.

Throughout the centuries, there have been many great questions in Greek mythology.

But for us today, one of the big ones is, how exactly did the god of war wind up in a jar for over a year?

Yeah, it seems wild, but it's true.

Aries, the god of war, was actually captured and held prisoner in a jar for 13 months.

And to make matters worse, this was all done at the hands of two children.

You are getting ahead of yourself.

You know what?

You're absolutely right, Oracle.

We have a long way to go until we get there.

You may have noticed that we skipped talking about Aries in our first episode this season, and that's because we had a whole episode planned about him.

That's where you are now.

Now, Aries is not a favorite god.

He kind of represents the worst parts of war.

He doesn't always do the right thing.

I kind of forgot where I was going with this.

He is an Olympian.

Right, exactly.

He's part of the family.

So let's start with Aries himself.

He was the son of Zeus and Hera, and the brother of Eris, the goddess of Discord, who was essentially responsible for the start of the Trojan War, and he was the father of the Amazons.

He had a lot of influence, but not a ton of respect from the Greek people or the other gods.

There were very few temples in honor of Aries anywhere in Greece.

And according to the writings of Homer, even his own parents, Zeus and Hera, didn't like him very much.

You see, even though Ares was the god of war, it wasn't the good kind of war, if there is such a thing.

Aries was the god of fighting, of ferociousness in battle and violence and aggressiveness.

In a way, he was more like the god of combat than the god of war.

He did not oversee battle strategy or cleverness or triumph or leadership in warfare.

That was Athena, and she was beloved and worshipped by mortals all over Greece.

So maybe Aries was a little resentful.

Maybe he was a little jealous of Athena and even though he was the god of war, many myths characterize him as a coward.

In some stories Aries would respond to even the slightest insult or injury with outrage and violence.

One of the most famous stories about Aries involves his secret romance with Aphrodite, who is married to Hephaestus, god of fire and the blacksmith to the Olympians.

Aries and Aphrodite had been sneaking off together for months before they were spotted by Helios, the titan who drives the sun across the sky every day.

When Helios told Hephaestus what he had seen, the blacksmith was furious.

He created a magical net that was impossible to break, but also invisible.

He laid this net out, and when Aries and Aphrodite got caught in it, he scooped them up to make fun of them in front of all of the other gods.

Hephaestus was the only only ugly god among the perfectly beautiful immortals on Olympus.

He was cast out of Olympus by Hera when he was just a baby.

He spent his mortal life trying to get back to Olympus, eventually even tricking Hera into allowing him a place among the gods.

All of the other Olympians just laughed and laughed at the sight of Ares and Aphrodite in the net, which was humiliating to them both and probably didn't make Hephaestus feel that much better either, to be honest.

But after that, Ares was shunned by most of the other Olympians and he and Aphrodite were forced to leave Olympus and separate.

Ares was forced to return to his home in Thrace while Aphrodite went to Paphos.

But Ares couldn't help but check in on Aphrodite from time to time.

Maybe he truly missed her, or maybe he was just mad that she wasn't with him anymore, but either way, he was not happy when he found out that the goddess of love was taken with another gorgeous young man.

His name was Adonis and he was ridiculously handsome.

Well, hello.

Adonis was a prince of Syria with astonishing beauty and charm that instantly captured the fancy of Aphrodite.

She was enthralled by the very sight of him.

But he wasn't just a pretty face.

As it turned out, Adonis was also a master of the hunt, very skilled with both bow and spear.

The young man liked nothing more than chasing after some prey on horseback with the wind in his hair and a spear in his hand.

But he also liked Aphrodite.

I mean, who wouldn't?

She was the goddess of love and beauty after all.

So time and again, Adonis would return from the hunt with a trophy that he dedicated in Aphrodite's honor.

Aphrodite was flattered, but also a little concerned for her young love.

She was afraid that something bad would happen to Adonis on one of these hunting trips, and she repeatedly warned him to be careful.

But the young man could never have been careful enough to avoid what he encountered deep in the woods.

On a hunting trip one day, Adonis encountered a wild boar.

It was the biggest boar he had ever seen with giant tusks and a massive head and eyes that seemed to glow with fire.

Adonis tried to scare the boar away, but the animal would not back down.

Adonis even tried to run, but eventually he was cornered by the beast and the two fought.

Adonis tried valiantly, but he was no match for the monster.

Eventually, the tusks of the boar pierced his side and the handsome man died on the floor of the forest.

This is your annual reminder that pigs are omnivorous and will eat you if given the opportunity.

Okay, random safety tip.

Thank you, Oracle.

That is good to know, as always.

Moments after Adonis collapsed to the ground, a strange light bathed the forest in red, and the boar that was standing over the fallen hero began to change, shape-shifting back into the form of Aries.

If he couldn't have Aphrodite, no one would.

This is not a healthy way to behave.

No, it is not.

Aries is definitely not known for his good mental health practices.

Eventually, both Ares and Aphrodite were invited back to Olympus, but many of the gods there knew of this story.

They allowed Aries to stay, but they kind of kept him at arm's length.

He was one of the 12 Olympians, yes, but with his behavior, it's possible that he never really felt like he belonged, and that only fueled his anger and his frustration.

And with that, I think this is a good place for a commercial break.

I mean, not that there's ever really a good place for a commercial break, but if there was to be a good place, this would probably be it.

Anyway, we'll be back in a little bit.

Just take a break.

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Okay, back to the story.

And this leads us to the incident with the children.

Well, okay, they were not really children.

We have lied to you in the name of drama.

Well, wait, okay, we didn't lie.

I mean, the two giants were very young by human standards, but they were giants who are born huge, so you...

Clickbait.

is content whose main purpose is to get the audience to click on a link.

Okay, okay, okay, all right, you got me.

I got a little carried away.

The two giants were named Otis and Ephialtes.

They were the twin sons of Poseidon and a princess from Thessaly named Iphimedea.

But most people knew of them as the Eloidae because there was a prophecy about them that had been around even before they were born.

It was said that the Eloidae could not be killed by humans or gods.

By the time they were about 30 feet tall, they were starting to understand their power.

Otis and Ephialtes decided that they wanted to climb Mount Olympus and take over everything, but they were also kind of crushing on a couple of goddesses.

Otis had a thing for Artemis, and Ephialtes had a long-time crush on Hera, the wife of Zeus.

The names given to the Eloidae are generally translated as Doom for Otis and Nightmare for Ephialtes.

Even so, the twins were supposedly very good looking.

Allegedly, amongst the most beautiful of men.

Now, normally this kind of a thing is a no-no.

You don't just get a crush on one of the Olympians, especially not Zeus's wife.

But of course, the Eleidae were different.

They knew they were invulnerable to anything the gods could throw at them, even thunderbolts.

So, basically, they got a free pass on any bad behavior.

Which is why Otis and Ephialtes wound up stacking mountains and boulders on top of each other to find a way up to Mount Olympus to challenge the gods.

Naturally, the gods did not approve of any of this.

They all wanted to stop the Eloade, but they knew they couldn't fight an invulnerable enemy, so they needed a plan.

And this is where Aries came into the picture.

As the god of war, Aries was right there on the front lines.

Zeus was hurling thunderbolts at them all day with no effect, and Apollo's Apollo's arrows just bounced off the twins' skin.

Even the spear of the mighty Heracles had no impact.

The giants just laughed and kept piling mountain upon mountain so they could climb higher and higher to reach the summit above Olympus where the gods resided.

Again, the Olympians knew they needed a plan.

They weren't gonna just fight their way out of this one, but apparently no one told Aries that.

Or more likely they did, and he just ignored it.

Because the god of war let out a battle cry that would make your skin crawl and launched himself at the twin giants.

And at first, he had them at a disadvantage.

The Eloidae weren't used to anyone attacking them in person.

Most of the time, it was arrows and spears hurled from a safe distance.

The two giants staggered back as Ares swung his battle axe again and again, hacking at the legs and arms of the two massive Eloide, but, of course, he did no damage.

The prophecy was real.

Otis and Ephialtes could not be harmed by god or human.

Ares screamed in frustration and swung harder and harder, but he still couldn't penetrate the skin of the two giants.

Once they realized they were safe, Otis and Ephialtes snatched the god up in their hands and held him fast.

The god of war struggled and yelled, frustrated, but the two giants were able to bind him in heavy chains and, using their massive strength, squished his body down to fit into a large bronze jar, throwing it down to earth.

An amphora is an ancient Greek container used as a storage jar, and it was a two-handled pot with a narrow neck.

But this jar may have been a hydria.

a Greek or Etruscan vessel used for carrying water.

It was sometimes made of bronze and had three handles, two for carrying and one for pouring.

Artemis, my beautiful, I am coming for you, bellowed the giant Otis as he resumed climbing.

As I am for you, Hera, Ephialtes chimed in and followed his brother upward.

Zeus was out of ideas and almost out of thunderbolts.

Hera had shut herself in her chambers.

Athena was pacing and strategizing.

Perhaps we cannot hurt the giants themselves, but maybe we can slow their climb, she said.

Father, use your thunderbolts on their tower.

So Zeus began to hurl thunderbolts at the mountain of boulders the Eloidae were building.

The giants roared in anger as the rocks fell from beneath their feet, and Athena used her spear and bow and arrow to target the tower as well.

But Otis and Ephialtes would not be deterred.

They were angry now and more determined than ever to get to the the top of Olympus.

Ephialtes began rebuilding the tower as fast as he could, while Otis began hurling boulders and stones at the Olympians in return.

Athena used her shield and armor to block most of the attack, but the giants continued to climb.

Meanwhile, Apollo and his twin sister Artemis were developing a plan of their own.

They realized that no matter how many times they knocked down this tower, the two giants would just find a way to rebuild and keep climbing.

Otis and Ephialtes were immortal and invincible to the gods, so what did they have to be afraid of?

Now the gods could hope that they would lose interest, but the young giants were fixated on Hera and Artemis, which is actually what Apollo and Artemis were counting on.

Being twins themselves, these two Olympians felt like they knew a little bit about the relationship between Otis and Ephialtes, and they came up with a plan that they hoped would help the gods defeat the Eloadae.

According to statistics, 40% of twins invent their own language.

And identical twins are not exact copies of each other.

They have different fingerprints, can have different skin tones, and they aren't always born on the same day.

At Apollo's urging, Zeus eased up on the thunderbolts and Athena stopped shooting arrows and throwing spears, letting the two giants finally climb all the way up to the gates of Olympus.

Hera, Ephielti shouted, I am here for you.

Artemis, my love, where are you?

shouted Otis.

Zeus and the other gods told Artemis to hide like Hera did, but she wouldn't do it.

They were prepared to fight the giants to the death to protect the goddesses, but Artemis wouldn't hear of it.

Apollo and I have a plan, she said.

Trust me, father.

And with that, Artemis strolled right out into the courtyard and up to the gates where the two towering giants peered down at her.

My, she said, you are so tall and handsome, Otis.

The giant suddenly blushed and looked away, embarrassed.

Ephialtes, his brother, rolled his eyes and looked to the sky.

Obviously, Artemis said, you are the smarter and stronger and better brother.

Not true!

Ephialtes roared, roared and he swiped at Artemis with his giant hand.

It almost knocked her off her feet, but Artemis was quick.

The goddess of the hunt dodged the giant's blow and rolled to safety just in time.

Leave her alone, screamed Otis, and lunged at his brother.

The two giants grappled for a moment and then crashed through the gates of Olympus, wrestling each other on the ground while trading punches and insults in equal measure.

Poor Artemis was in the middle of it all.

She ducked and jumped and rolled out of the way time and time again as the two brothers fought each other.

She knew she couldn't run too far away.

She had to be visible to both of the brothers.

Otis needed to be distracted by her presence and Aphialtes needed to be enraged.

This was the plan that she and Apollo had concocted, to get the brothers to fight each other.

And it worked for a long while.

The giants fought so long that they sometimes forgot what they were fighting about until they saw Artemis and then the punches started all over again.

At one point, Otis got the upper hand and scooped the goddess of the hunt up in one hand.

Apollo, watching from the shadows, did not like how this was going.

He began to worry for his sister.

But Apollo was a god and therefore not helpless.

He took aim and managed to change Artemis into a magnificent white deer.

The Eloade both yelped in surprise and tried to grab at the doe, but Artemis was quick, even quicker in this form, and the giants were far too lumbering and slow.

They needed weapons.

And when both Otis and Ephialtes reached for their spears, Artemis saw her chance.

As they pulled back to throw their spears, the deer jumped between the pair.

And, following their target, the giants hurled their spears as hard as they could.

Artemis leapt into the air and twisted acrobatically.

One spear passed below her, the other just above.

She landed on all four feet unharmed.

But the Eloidae were not so lucky.

Both of them had missed the deer and instead struck each other.

While it was true that no mortal or god could harm the Eloidae, they were not invulnerable to their own attacks.

The ground of Olympus shuddered as the two giants crashed to the ground and all of the Olympians let out a cheer.

Well, there was quite a bit of rejoicing on Olympus that night.

And for many nights after, if you want to know the truth, Artemis and Apollo were toasted again and again.

The gods were so grateful and impressed by the ingenuity of the twins, especially Artemis, who was willing to put herself in harm's way just to save her family.

Eventually, things went back to normal on Olympus and the gods resumed their normal duties.

It was a few months later when Hermes came to Zeus with a message from the island of Naxos.

Someone claimed to have this weird jar that wouldn't stop shouting about how it was the god of war.

Seriously, said Zeus, he's still in there.

Eventually, Hermes was dispatched to rescue Aries from his jar prison, and after spending over a year in a bronze urn, Aries returned quietly to Mount Olympus once again.

Greaking Out.

Thank you for listening.

Next week, get ready for one of the OG heroes of Greek mythology.

Greaking Out, Gods and Heroes, amazing feats.

Listen and you'll see it.

National Geographic Kids Greaking Out is written by Jillian Hughes and Kenny Curtis and hosted by Kenny Curtis, with Tori Kerr as the oracle of Wi-Fi, audio production and sound design design by Scotty Beam, and our theme song was composed by Perry Gripp.

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