S8E8 - Oh Me Oh Maya: The Hero Twins and the Shining Deceit

The stories featured in Greaking Out are usually original adaptations of classic Greek myths.

This week's story features crimes against birds, a severed arm, broken beaks, dental surgery, medical malpractice, and anthropomorphic astronomy.

Greaking Out the greatest stories in history were told in Greek mythology.

Greaking out for gods and heroes, amazing feats.

Listen, and you'll see it's Greaking

Out

today, we're on the move again, traveling to the Mesoamerican homeland of the Maya people.

We're bringing you another story from the Popol Vu, a Kiche Maya document that tells the story of Earth's creation, the Hero Twins, and some other myths.

Now, we've talked about these characters before.

You know the Hero Twins, Hunapu and Shabalanke.

Remember, they went down into the underworld and had to go through rooms like the House of Knives and the Rattling House.

Remember that?

Anyway, you can listen to that other episode in season seven later if you haven't already.

This story is a prequel, meaning we're going way back before the Hero Twins went down into the underworld.

And I mean way back,

all the way back to the beginning.

13.8 billion years ago, the universe exploded into existence in an event known as the Big Bang.

Yeah, not that beginning, the mythical beginning of the Maya people.

Now, we've talked about the two ways the ancient Greeks said how humans were made.

Either they were made by Prometheus and Epimetheus, or they were made from the ashes of the Titans and baby Dionysus, making humans half divine and half, well, something else.

But the Maya had their own story of how this happened.

You see, in the very old days, only gods existed.

They created Earth, which was cool, but it was empty.

Nobody was around to worship the gods.

And really, what's the point of being a god if you aren't being worshipped, right?

I mean, gods, they're the same everywhere.

They always need that external validation.

Go get therapy.

So next, they created animals.

They hoped these creatures they'd made, the birds, the pumas, the jaguars, the snakes, etc.

would speak the names of the gods and therefore worship them.

Well, the animals squawked and roared and hissed, even seeming to be able to communicate with each other, but they couldn't speak the names of the gods.

So the magical beings knew they needed to create something different.

Snakes often communicate with each other using smell.

They excrete chemicals called pheromones to signal who they are to other snakes.

Yeah, pheromones aren't gonna cut it for these gods.

So the supreme god, Urakan, which means heart of sky, had an idea.

The word hurricane might come from this god's name.

Yeah, that's right.

Urakan was also the god of storms, wind, and fire, but right now he's working on creating humanity.

So, what if we made like people-shaped things out of all of this mud that's lying around?

said Urakan.

Genius!

Brilliant!

The other gods loved it.

They formed people out of mud and let them hang out for a while.

Turns out, It didn't last long.

See, the mud people couldn't really walk around.

Either they were too mushy and goopy and melted back down into the earth, or they got all dried out and crumbled into dust.

Plus, they didn't seem too smart.

They didn't know their makers, and so they couldn't worship them.

This wouldn't do, so the gods sent a great flood to earth to destroy the mud people.

Great floods seem to be popular among gods.

Both our Mesopotamian story and our Incan story feature epic floods.

Yeah, it was all the rage in those days.

So next, the gods tried to carve people shapes out of wood.

These, quote, people could walk around and talk, but they didn't have blood or sweat, and they didn't seem to have hearts or minds, and that meant they couldn't worship.

Again, a failure for the gods.

But even worse, the wooden people were cruel.

They refused to feed their dogs and their chickens, and they chased these animals away.

Apparently, they even mistreated their cookware because these animals and those household items wanted the wooden people gone.

The dogs and chickens ate the wooden people as revenge for withholding their food.

The grinding stones that the wooden people once used to grind maize took their revenge by grinding the wooden people down.

The griddles and pots burned the wooden people the same way that they'd put these cooking items on the fire.

And then just for good measure, the gods also sent a great flood to wash the wooden people away.

They really did not like these wooden people.

But amazingly, some wooden people managed to survive even the flood.

They climbed up into the trees and grew tails.

Some say you can still see the wooden people today.

They're known as spider monkeys, aka the buttheads of the jungle.

Monkeys express affection by grooming each other.

And their heads are not butts.

Have you met a spider monkey in the wild oracle?

I mean, they like to throw stuff, you know?

Anyway, once again, we have an earth with no people.

What are the gods going to do next?

They ponder.

And they ponder some more.

And they ponder some more.

And while they're pondering, we're actually going to take a little ad break.

We'll be right back.

Keep pondering.

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And just like that, we're back.

So the Mayan gods are still pondering the mud and wood people that were two big misses while they tried to create humanity on an empty earth.

These gods now now needed to come up with a new way to make people that will worship them.

So, while these gods have their thinking caps firmly attached, in the middle of this chaos, this pre-earth as we know it, a new demon god enters the scene, introducing Vukub Kakwi.

Now, his name means seven macaw, which is what we're going to call him from now on.

The seven might be a reference to the month in which he appeared, or maybe to the seven stars in the constellation where the Maya people believed he dwelt.

Actually, people in North America know that group of stars as the Big Dipper.

European cultures usually think the Big Dipper is in the shape of a wagon or a bear.

But some African cultures describe it as a drinking gourd.

More importantly, this demon god is in the approximate shape of a scarlet macaw, a parrot that's native to southern Mexico and Central and South America.

Picture the most beautiful bird you've ever seen.

Bright red, blue, and yellow feathers, a long tail, a friendly little face.

Now, imagine it's a god.

Except, Seven Macaulay had some important distinctions from real Scarlet Macaws.

For one, he has emeralds on his eyes.

For another, his teeth are made of the gemstone jade.

Birds do not have teeth.

Well, that's why I said approximately.

I mean, I don't.

Scarlet macaws have structures on the inside of their beaks that allows them to grind hard seeds with their tongues.

Well, then you can imagine what a superiority complex Seven McCall could have over the other birds because he did have teeth, jade teeth.

Yeah, Seven McCall went around boasting about his beautiful eyes and beautiful teeth, and he said that the whiteness of his beak, which Scarlet Macaws really do have, glowed as bright as the moon.

And his feathers, already such beautiful colors, he covered them in precious shiny silver and gold.

The gemstones and metal and jewelry covering his body were a real sight to behold.

He said that the light from this marvelous metalwork would brighten all the pathways for the future humans to come.

Sort of like, I don't know, the sun.

And actually, now that I think about it, Seven McCall said, it kind of seems like I am a sun on the moon.

And since the Sun of the Moon tracked time,

I might as well be the calendar for everybody, too.

Wow, it is hard work being such a spectacular parent god.

People worried that the world would end on December 21st, 2012, because of a misinterpretation of the Maya calendar.

In fact, it was just the start of the next 5,125-year cycle.

It's like when the time goes past midnight and restarts back at 1.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Yeah.

Some people were really freaked out.

Some thought we'd be wiped out by a tidal wave, an earthquake, or that we'd be swallowed up by a massive black hole or something.

Apocalyptic literature, or stories about the end of the world, is popular in many cultures.

The word apocalypse refers to a revelation, referring to the idea that the truth will will be revealed at the end of the world.

Yeah, the Maya had one too.

It was all about a giant jaguar that swallows the sun, but that is not what happened.

We all live to see a new 5,125 year cycle begin.

Anyway, the glittery Seven Macab boasted to all the other gods that he was the sun and the moon and it was driving everybody bananas.

The other gods knew this goofy bird wasn't the sun and the moon, but it turns out that without any people on earth to worship these gods and decide who was who, this demon could just say he was the sun and the moon without any consequence.

Sometimes when you say something enough times, others start believing it and it actually does become true.

And what's worse, what if the gods created people and then the people believe that Seven McCall is the sun and the moon?

It set a bad precedent.

Then the humans could just start claiming to be gods or oceans or stars or whatever and it would be chaos.

This could not stand.

Words mean things.

You know who else didn't like this?

Our old pals, the hero twins, Hunapu and Shabalanke.

Now these two hated Seven Macaw's whole deal.

They knew this bird wasn't the sun or the moon and everyone was just letting him get away with saying that he was.

So, with the approval of the Supreme God Uraka, the twins hatched a plan.

One day, Seven Macaul landed in a great Nans tree to feast on its sweet yellow fruit.

Hiding below, Hunapu shot the demon bird with his blowgun.

He hit Seven Macaul right in his lower jaw, breaking his beak and shattering some of his teeth.

The blast even hurt his eyes.

With a yowl, the demon bird fell out of the tree, squawking in pain.

Now you might think this bird is out of action, but Seven McCall didn't start calling himself the son without anticipating some pushback.

Hunapu approached the weakened demon to finish the task, but Seven Macaul reached out and bit right through his arm with a broken beak.

Incredible!

Seven Macaul flew away in agonizing pain, taking the severed arm with him, and the twins retreated to recover from their failed plan.

Now, the hero twins realized they might need to come up with a smarter strategy next time because, well, let's be honest, hiding in the bushes is not exactly the innovation you expect to see from the heroes in these stories, am I right?

So, this time, the twins got creative.

They disguised themselves as old healers and they walked past Seven Macaw's magnificent throne where he liked to sit.

The demon bird stopped his agonizing wails when he heard someone was nearby.

He called out.

Oh, don't mind us, Shabalanke said.

We're just a couple of lowly doctors/lash dentists trying to make a living in this world.

We've been looking for injured creatures, but nobody seems to need any dental work or broken bone setting these days.

Tough job market, you know.

We'll just continue on our way.

Wait, stop, says Seven McCall.

You're just what I need.

These horrible twin dingleberries broke my teeth and hurt my eyes, and I need someone to fix them.

Please, I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

Help me!

All right, all right.

We'll take a look, said Hunapoo.

Now the disguised twins, pretending to have medical degrees, examine Seven McCall.

This is what's known in today's language as a felony.

Oh, yes, this is very serious, said Unapu.

Yes, I agree.

Very serious.

I think we need to be thinking about extraction, responded Shabalanke.

Extraction?

Double away!

protested Seven McCall.

My chain teeth are where I get all my power, all my bragging rights.

Without them, all I'll have left are my beautiful emerald eyes.

No, those will have to go too.

What?

Sorry, it's the best we can offer.

You want to end the pain?

Let us do our work.

Well, the injured bird demon had no choice but to let the doctor slash dentists get to work.

While Seven McCall was incapacitated from the pain, and also because he trusted them to help him, the twins plucked out each and every one of his beautiful jade teeth.

Then, they removed the sparkling emeralds over his eyes.

For good measure, they pulled off all of the the gold and silver jewelry, adornments, and accessories covering Seven Macaulay's body.

They worked quickly, and soon they told the bird demon that their work was done.

Seven Macaulay was no longer in pain.

He was so relieved.

But as he turned toward a mirror to look at himself, he saw that all the things that made him so proud, so arrogant, and so boastful were gone.

Now, Seven Macaul just looked like a real Scarlet Macaul.

Because it was broken, his beak curved downward and was much larger on the top than on the bottom.

He had large white patches around his small eyes where the emeralds used to be, and now he only had his colored feathers to boast about.

Everything that Seven Macaulay thought made him special had been taken away from him.

So when he looked in the mirror and just saw himself, no jewels, no gems, no shiny trinkets, he actually died of shame.

That is extremely dramatic this is a lesson about self-esteem and how you should just be yourself i think the takeaway here is to not trust dentists that's definitely not what this story was about dentists are very trustworthy people yeah i i you're right i was kidding i actually really like my dentist uh how about don't pretend to be the sun i don't think that will come up for most people.

Right.

Well, then this story would only be for a couple of you.

So if you're thinking of pretending to be the sun, don't think of seven macaw and this story instead.

It's a warning for you specifically.

No pretending to be the sun.

Got it.

Okay.

Anyway, with Seven McCall vanquished, Unapu could retrieve his arm, which magically I assume popped right back into place.

And eventually, our hero twins ascended up into the sky and they themselves became the rightful sun and moon.

And wouldn't you know it?

The gods finally came up with an idea of how to make people.

They made them out of corn or maize, but not just corn.

The gods actually used their own blood to bring the new people into existence.

And this time,

it worked.

These people were able to speak the names of the gods.

They had hearts and minds and they knew about their makers.

They could keep a calendar and the gods were satisfied.

Another successful creation of humanity.

And suddenly I have a craving for popcorn.

Greaking Out.

Thanks for listening to today's episode.

Next week, we're telling a story about a much-requested trickster and his monstrous family.

So don't miss it.

It's Greaking

Out.

This episode of National Geographic Kids Greaking Out is written by Allison Shaw, a Nat GeoKids magazine editor and hosted by Kenny Curtis, with Tori Kerr as the Oracle of Wi-Fi, audio production and sound design by Scotty Beam, and our theme song was composed by Perry Gripp.

Dr.

William Suturno is our subject matter expert, Emily Everhart is our producer, and Becky Baines is our executive producer.