The Key to Going Viral + What You Should Do When Creating Content with Valeria Lipovetsky | EP 52

I always took pride and like, no, I do it all myself. And him watching me just struggling and crying and, you know, not sleeping.
He looked at me one day being like, there is no novelty in that. Like, I don't know if you need to hear this, but there's not, there's nothing here.
And because I felt that fear, that's when I went and like made sure that I do it. Because I realized that it's,'m not going to break it now I was 26 at a time if I'm not breaking this now this is going to change the rest of my life because I'm just going to continue playing small because of that fear if you're willing to risk all the gifts that are out there waiting for you just to be safe and feel like no one is seeing you, then that's something that you have to be okay with, the decision that you make for yourself.
But I was absolutely not okay with that. What have you found to be really helpful to go viral if there were a formula or any kind of insights that are more cutting edge right now? Honestly, with social media, it's interesting.
I don't see anything as a mistake. Welcome back to the Healing and Human Potential podcast, where today we're going to unpack and overcome this fear of being seen.
We're going to talk about how to really grow your online presence with social media and overcome burnout. I have the pleasure of having Valeria Lipovetsky on the podcast, who is an entrepreneur.
She's a content creator. She has over almost 7 million followers across platforms, and she has a thing or two to share with you around how to go viral and really share your magic in a way that feels good, that's authentic.
She's also going to talk about the three things to do if you ever get negative comments. It's brilliant and can support you in feeling really safe and connected so that you can more easily share your magic with the world.
Let's dive in. I'm so happy that you're here.
And I just wanted to start off by sharing one of the things that I love most about you is that you are so vulnerable and transparent and open, and it's really refreshing, especially in the online space. And so thank you for leading with that, by the way.
I appreciate, yeah, just having that in the online space. I think people connect with authenticity.
And I know that with having a really, I know with online careers, they're a lot of work and you also have young kids. I'm curious how you navigate or balance that as a mom and as an entrepreneur.
Thank you so much. It's really kind of you.
Um, you know, it's funny because every time I get asked about the concept of authenticity and how I show up on social media authentically, the answer is just, I don't have any other choice because I have all these other things that are going on in my life, you know, the children and the family, uh, and just being an adult, I don't have the capacity to play any other roles. So I come on social media and I'm just like, this is what you get.
You know, you either like it or you don't, but this is it. So that's, that's very much what helped me to continue showing up as myself.
And I love meeting people in person that are just like, oh, you're like the same. I said, yeah, there's, I got nothing else.
There's no tricks up my sleeves, you know? And I think that's what people crave. That's what they want is just the connection.
And I know that's not always easy for people to do because we've been sort of conditioned through our parents to conform so that

we please them so that then we, you know, are liked. And, and I think just being ourselves is a rebellious act.
And so I just want to acknowledge you for doing that. And I'm also just curious with, with young kids, how you navigate the online space is really full on in your career? Yeah, I mean, earlier it was a little difficult, honestly, more physically and just time management.
But as they grew and I grew into myself on social media, it became, it became easier. And I think that the things that showed up for me more is learning boundaries and, you know, things like that as I continued both parenting and showing up on social media.
So that was a big thing for me, navigating the social space as a mother and boundaries, you know, referring to showing my kids in social media. I used to show them way more.
And as they got older, I started to kind of move away. Now they're coming to me asking to be featured.
So now it's a different kind of conversation, but just really openly talking to them about what social media is also helped a lot with both giving them an understanding of the business and the mission behind what I do. Um, but also continue to remind myself, like why am I, because this is a lot of effort.
I spent a lot of time and a lot of energy showing up every single day to my community, but also to millions of strangers. So, you know, talking, my kids always kind of remind me of my why.
Um, so it's interesting how it, they both kind of helped me to get better, both in social media, helping get better at parenting and just being kinder to myself. And my kids helped me to become more, more of myself on social media and also know when to make very clear boundaries.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think it sounds like you do business the way I do business, which is like from the inside out, really using it as an opportunity to grow and evolve. I'm curious around boundaries.
Was that easy for you to set some of those boundaries? Was there any kind of gems that came from your your learning and your experience around that, especially for women? I mean, like you mentioned earlier, even breaking out of this idea of conforming to what I was not even not even from my household, but taught to be, uh, from society, from just absorbing, observing as a child. Uh, so I'm still working on it.
I have to say, I think that every time I embark on a new journey, which is my podcast is the latest one. I am finding more and more ways to, you know, break those ways of being just because that's how it's subconsciously just like sitting in me.
Right. So it's been it's been very interesting to witness myself go through that journey.
The boundaries are getting built as I go along, you know, as every kind of experience and every interaction with people teaches me more of what I will allow into my life and what I won't. Before I was, I very much believed that, you know, everyone can have an opinion and show up on my page and on my platforms and just spew hate.
I no longer have that capacity. I always welcome open conversation, but it needs to be in a respectful way.
So I started very much viewing as this is my space. It's not physical, but it is my space and you will respect my space.
So, you know, those kinds of boundaries have really helped me to continue build towards like the grand vision that I have for what I do.

Beautiful. And it's so important.
I think that we, we speak what our boundaries are and establish that to support ourselves and the community. Yeah.
There's even, there's even, I want to even expand another example where, you know, I, it seems like I share a lot of personal things online, but there's obviously a lot of things that I keep to myself. And through the years I've learned what I want to keep more to myself and what I want to share.
Something that I've learned through my years on social media is that I never share something that I haven't already made a decision on. If that's, if I went through a certain experience and if it's still this like open-ended situation, I will never put it out there to have millions of people, you know, have the open door to comment and bring their perspective.
And that's something I've learned the hard way because I used to believe that, you know, I am sharing in real time where this is me showing up authentically.

And what I've realized is that that doesn't work for me.

And that was a very strong and big boundary that I put.

And I'm still able to show up, but with already a decision that I made that's best for me in my life.

So just navigating that has been amazing. That's a great clarity because I think anytime we're not clear and we look outside, we're going to get all of the different opinions.
And so that would loop us in confusion versus just tuning in. What is my truth? I love that you protect your own clarity and space by doing that.
I think that's great. And I know with things constantly changing online and I know with the fast paced social media world, there are trends and different things that are happening.
I'm curious what you have found in your experience because you're so visible and there's so much happening that you're on YouTube and Instagram and all the places. What have you found to be really helpful to go viral if there were a formula or any kind of insights that are more cutting edge right now? Break it down for us.
This is a great question. I think that for a while I've been trying to kind to crack the code of what is that winning formula.
And, you know, it's interesting because when you scroll through social media, there's all these kind of coaches and experts that will tell you, you know, if you start with the hook and all of these are great little tools. But at the end of the day, the essence is not something that's a formula.
The essence is more of you understanding what your message is, how you want people to feel when they look at your content. Um, and then, you know, making it better and better, like small little improvements with time with these tools.
So for me, when I create a piece of content, I always ask, like, is this dad align with who I am? For me, if people come to my page, I want them to leave either, you know, a thought starter. So something that I spoke about or mentioned some insight that I had with that will continue to grow in their minds.
They can talk to their friends about it. They either laugh if it's like a comedy skit and they're just like, oh my God, I relate.
I feel the same. And they can send to their friends so they can share a moment, you know, like that.
And to, or get inspired and inspired is through fashion, you know, they save or they're, they're getting a little bit of of inspiration here and there. To me, those are the three emotions that I run on.
And when I create content, I think about, does this piece of content going to land in any of these buckets? And that's my essence at the end of the day. And that's kind of, that's my personal brand.
So, yeah, we've been tweaking it with different kinds of tools here and there, but for me, that's like the big, the big thing that I follow. Yeah.
I really hear that. It's about being in alignment with yourself and your mission and your, your brand, creating a connection, inspiring people to share through that or save and, um, and just being you like staying aligned with that, which is really beautiful.
And are there any tools or things that you found helpful to, to keep the metrics or keep like looking at what's working and what's not working? Oh my God. I'm a huge data person.
I love data. I mean, I run on obviously, uh, the emotional connection that I see happening online, but at the end of the day, the data doesn't lie.
So I love matching the two. So for me, when I look at a piece of content, if it was shared or saved, to me, those are huge things.
I know that a lot of the times we look at, oh, how many likes did I get or how many comments did I get? And that is also obviously great metrics. But it's actually when people send to their friends, I'm like, OK, this is there's something there.
It means it evokes something that is deeper than just for them to continue scrolling. So to me, I look into those kind of insights.
And, you know, when I started out, it was social media is a very lonely space. It's very difficult to find the right people to talk to that will support and advise.
And there's no like competitive aspect to it. Um, and I felt very lonely, uh, throughout the years.
So being able, uh, to build something like we're building right now, which is creator method, something that I'm a project I'm very excited about is to provide that community that can have this real time feedback of like, I did this and that helped me. This is the metric I look at.
This is the formula that I'm using. And, you know, people that are kind of going through the same work and hustle, communicate with each other and just continue to lift each other up.
That's been that's been just amazing to see and build. But but yeah, there's always, you know how it is with platforms is always a new a new feature.
I knew this I knew that every week we're like, OK, there's threads and there's this and now reels are doing well and video content. So you can never get too comfortable.
Yeah. But I hear the heart of it is emotion and connection and staying in alignment with your values and then looking at the metrics and having a community to support you and talking about the trends.
But it's kind of, I love sales and at the heart of sales, the principles are the same, whether you're selling online or in a call there, they can show up in a different way. That trend can show up in a different way, but like the heart of it is the same.
What about mistakes people that make, like you probably see things and you're like, oh my goodness, like people trying to go viral. What, what are some things that you can share with us to not do? People that are trying to go viral.
Honestly, with social media, it's interesting. I don't see anything as a mistake because it's all experimentation.
And I think that it's very healthy and wise to have experimentation happening on your page. I myself have a ratio of like I have between 70 to 80 percent content that I know my audience wants to see, expects to see something that's like my signature thing, but I always leave 20 to 30% to just experiment, have fun with, uh, and maybe some, a lot of the times nothing hits and other times I get to pick up, Oh, this one is doing really well, you know, and it's constantly kind of reviving, uh, the format.
So I don't look at it as mistakes. I think the biggest mistake is just when you show up trying to imitate someone else.
I think people can feel it. You know that it's not you.
And it's just so visible and content. So that's the only thing that I see.
And when I do see it, I honestly, sometimes we'll even like send a message to the person being like, I love this. This is really cool.
I wish I saw more of you. Like what's your spin on this, you know? I like that.
Yeah. So the space for experimentation and testing, but just making sure that it's in alignment.
You're not just copycatting because this is a trend that you think you should do. And it's not necessarily authentic to you.
And it looks like a copy, you know, when we look, when we think about, uh, imitating, I mean, there are trends that are just, people just use them and it's literally the same thing, the same sound, the same saying the same, but it's even the way you're dressed in the video or your facial expressions, you know, like that's where in small little aspects, when you bring yourself, it's like you're building your personal brand rather than just becoming one of a bajillion other people that are doing the same thing. So it's not even these big things, it's small little tweaks of like, how can I bring my own self into this trend? Yeah.
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And you're so open about the importance of mental health. I'm curious if there are any key habits that you've adopted or a surprising mental health hack that you've discovered that you want to share with people? You know, I started having a completely different relationship with mental health.
I had my first panic attack two weeks ago. And, you know, before that, I used to talk a lot about how to, how I deal with stress, but not having to ever experience something so severe, like a panic attack or anxiety attack.
I don't have any experience with that. Now sitting here, I'm like, I was talking shit.
I, you know, when, when you're not, when you haven't experienced something, it's so easy to say all the kind of right things and what, you know, share messages of like, you know, mental health is important. This is what we can do, but it's, I approach it so differently now after going through that.
And for me, mental health is, um, for me, it's really a reminder of to constantly like reconnect with my body. Um, I think that a lot of things are happening when there's just, there's like no rhythm in your body, if that makes sense, especially for women, you know, we, we just suppress so many emotions and stress and, and negative emotions that I, that's something to me that I'm working on.
So it's not just here. It's like a full body experience that That to me is what mental health is.
So to these days, I'm just I'm really focusing on finding modalities to release that like stored smaller stressors of the everyday. I'm finding modalities to be able to really feel it all.
And again, I'll learn those things of like, don't cry and don't get too emotional. And, you know, I want to get emotional.
I want to like ride the wave in order to come on the other side and be like, okay, we're done. We went through it.
Let's continue going just like with a lighter, you know, with a lighter approach to things. So it's not even just one thing that I do is that it's a completely different, just state of mind that I move in.
I love that. Yeah.
It's like some people tend towards indulging. Other people tend towards avoiding.
Avoiding could look like distracting, overworking, but like you were saying, it does pile up our body holds it. And so, you know, with anxiety or a panic attack, it's a lot about the mind.
So you're absolutely right. Dropping into the body helps move it through tears, help move it through.
So it doesn't pile up because if we avoid it, it just postpones it. So I love that you are such a voice about it.
And I think people trust you. And so they'll really practice.
Can I feel into this? Cause the anxiety, it's like the mind is always looking for a problem to solve in the future. And yet the body is always now.
And so feeling into that helps break the cycle of overthinking and stress and anxiety. So great.
I love that. Yeah.
I want to, you know, that's what I want to see more of. I love seeing obviously people journaling and people going to therapy and all of that is wonderful, very cerebral.
For me, I love the cerebral aspect, but we've come to a point in society where we just run to it. Like we can sit and intellectualize the heck out of it, right? Yeah.
I mean, knowing help, like therapists would have no issues and it's not about that, right? You're right. It's helpful to have an integrative approach.
Yes. Understanding and having awareness and mindset work is great, but integrating it to the nervous system is also really important.
Unconscious reprogramming, like all of it, wanting to have an approach that is, meets people where they are. You're a hundred percent accurate.
Yeah. Well, what is something that you see right now that you just love that it's becoming more and more popular? Well, I love that people are waking up to doing the inner work and how the inner work is really 80% of the real game and how our outer world is just a reflection of that.
And so having the tools to navigate our inner world so that we can stay open-hearted, open-minded, be better parents, entrepreneurs, leaders. I think that's the core of the work that I do.
And so I'm excited that more people are seeing the value of it. I think after the pandemic, people couldn't distract themselves and started becoming confronted with some of the choices that they've made.
And so I think there was a gift in that so that we can have a detox collectively and start learning tools to navigate and not live unconsciously. You know what I would love to see more of happening? Moving the conversation away from like stress and how to avoid stress because it's humanly impossible to learn how to release it and kind of move on.

You know, it became, there's all these buzzwords now.

So, and I feel like we all,

it's like the concept of balance, right?

Like how do you balance?

And for women, it's such a, it's, you know,

it's a lose-lose situation with the balance.

So to me, I would love to stop talking about stress as this big, scary monster

and start emphasizing the work of release. Yeah.
And we need stress. There's some level of stress that's healthy.
We go to the gym and we have stress on our muscles as we build them. And so there's some kind of resilience that we can learn internally going to the inner gym and starting to support and stretch our capacity to be with the full range of our human experience, which is what it's really about, you know, so that we're not avoiding, but we're actually feeling centered in the eye of the storm or through the various, and it's okay to break down.
I think it's important for us to learn how to have those safe spaces and to let go and release. And that's some of actually what I wanted to speak with you about.
I imagine that you've felt some level of burnout in your career. Is that right? Oh my God.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
And so how did you navigate that? Because I think the more we talk about it, the easier it is for other people to kind of learn from the lessons that we've gone through. Yeah.
For me, I have an interesting relationship with burnout. It happens to me still when, again, when I don't pay attention.
When I do pay attention, I know that I'm like, okay, I'm at 80%. It's time to step back.
It's time to get into a mindset of just giving myself rest and the nourishment that I need. But when I don't pay attention and I'm on autopilot, I obviously go through it.
And it's just another, like, I should have known. I mean, all the signs were there, but, um, with burnout at the end of the day, I, I really focus on creating a lot of solitude around me.
Um, And you can imagine it's very hard to do when your job is showing up online to people, but also have, you know, little humans that are counting on you every single day. So that can be very difficult.
But Gary, my husband, knows that that's my love language. Me being by myself is my love language.
This is how I get to re-nourish myself, rebalance myself. And when I go through burnout, that's just the only thing that will get me out of that state.
And I take that time to sit down, really feel what I need to feel, you know, being able to spot what I missed,

like, how did I get here? What signs that I missed in the process? And making notes of it. And just, just really can't even explain it, getting into this really, you know, daydreaming type of way, no action required, just like being.
mm-hmm that That's right. Yeah.
Yeah. And I love that you mentioned that you're now looking at the signs of what leads to burnout so that you can listen and not having to not judge ourselves because we're all learning.
And you mentioned, you know, not listening to our bodies or a part of ourselves. I think some of us have been through the patriarchy conditioned from the undeveloped.
I don't want to say toxic masculine because David Data told me to say undeveloped and I can see the compassionate lens. Yeah.
I like that more. And so it's like, oh, I can see how I was conditioned to abandon a part of myself, maybe because I am a completionist.
I think I need to finish it, or I feel obligated to my team, or I am hustling for my worth, whatever the story is that would have us abandon ourselves. And to really slow down and really be with that part of ourselves, because it's not sustainable, right? If we keep pushing and it hurts our bodies, it hurts our relationships.
I know I've worked with a lot of female entrepreneurs who are like, I pushed and I was all in and I will never get to that level of success again because it's not worth it to me. Thinking that the intensity was what helped them get to success.
They paired success and intensity, which isn't required. You know, the consistency is required, but the intensity isn't.
And so I think collectively, we're starting to talk about burnout and talk about integrative ways of being with leading from our feminine and masculine, our doing and being so that it's not only feels good to us, but it's sustainable and it's better for all of our relationships. And I think some of the feminine of the feminine way is what's kind of emerging right now, because part of that is around receiving.
And so I'm curious, have you, what has been your relationship with receiving? Did you feel like that was easy for you? Did you feel like you had to do it on your own? Oh boy. You, I can't, you don't even know how relevant you are right now.
Like this, this conversation is just so spot on, on what I've been working on for the past few months. Something that I've recognized that I'm really good at is suffering and struggle.
I'm very good with that. That's why I think I never really had sort of call like the anxiety attacks or panic attacks, because I've been, first of all, growing up with a single mother, you know, having to immigration, seeing my mother go all the things that's something that's just been infused in me.
So the resilience levels are like so high. So I feel comfortable when I need to struggle and when it's hard, but when it's easy or when it's supposed to be joyful, I don't know what that feels like.

And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like a robot. I can't I don't thrive in that environment.
For me, it's something like something is off. Something is not right.
Something is going to happen. Like this is too good to be true.
And, you know, I've been really recognizing that type of workings within me and really working on trying to focus on joy, focus on just like the lightness of being, focus on receiving. But just, you know, to your point, that's all it is.
It's really just receiving, uh, and just kind of letting go that like strong grip that I have, because when I look around, my life is amazing. There's absolutely no reason to feel that everything has to be so difficult in order to achieve, you know, the greatness that I want to achieve.
Uh, so a lot of for me is absolutely that, just pleasure and joy. And I've never imagined that this is what I will need to work on, you know? Me and you both, me and you both.
I've been doing, I've been talking about this as I'm a joyologist. This is my summer of joy where I'm studying and researching what brings me aliveness.
It's actually been really quite easy once I've been looking at where I've been blocking my joy and doing this daily rating scale so that I'm in every day just rating, okay, I'm allowing, how good am I allowing it to be? And the other thing that's been helping me around this, in case this helps anyone else, not to judge the resilient warrior part of you because that that part has gifts and there are ways that it has served you. So without judging it, because anything we judge, we're stuck with, anything we identify, we're stuck with.
So thanking that part of me has been really helpful and it softens in that. And then allowing a little bit more of the, how can I let this moment, even if it's 5% more joy, even in how I'm sitting, because it doesn't need to be that I just got back from Bali, which is my favorite place in the world, but it doesn't mean that I go to Bali.
It can also mean that I'm taking out the trash or doing the dishes and bringing more joy by softening my body or finding the pleasure of like putting lotion on my skin. Just those subtle things have been really helpful.

And I think the receiving in terms of my own business, and that's why I was curious with you too, because it can show up as a mother and in business. Like how much am I allowing my team to

support? How much am I, you know, co-parenting or all of the different ways that it can reflect.

And so I love that this is part of your inquiry. Yeah, absolutely.
In terms of that, in terms of

Thank you. Because I remember when I started and it was just me and he, you know, the business started making money.
We could reinvest and hire people. I always took pride and like, no, I do it all myself.
And him watching me just struggling and crying and, you know, not sleeping. He looked at me one day being like, there is no novelty in that.
Like, I don't know if you need to hear this, but there's not, there's nothing here. This is not what you want your life to be.
So please. I was like, okay, I surrender.
Bless, bless him for supporting that. Yeah.
And your ability to let go and let yourself receive. Because I do think that women tend to experience more of that, like need to hold it all together, pull it together for everybody else.
And I think in business, there's a point where when my business, when I was making a few hundred thousand dollars, like actually in the beginning, as a startup, it was really important to have the resilience, to be able to wear different hats and do it all myself and test things. And then there's a point where that actually held me back, where then it was in multiple seven figures and it was like, okay, this is going to clearly lead to burnout.
What am I trying to prove? Or how can I learn to ask for support so that I don't feel guilty for receiving any of the other psychological things? But you see, this is where the body comes into play because it tells you when it's time. It tells you when it's time to change the format and approach.
It's like you've done great until now, and now it's time to shift somewhere else. That's right.
And what I love is that what feels good usually is helpful. So like when we're compassionate, when we think the parts of us that are contracted or the patterns that we've played out, like when we really honor them, that's when they soften and let go.
The other thing I wanted to talk to you about, because I know this is big for my community is this fear of being seen. And when people want to share them, their work online, you know, I'm afraid of putting myself out there.
And I'll say, you're not putting yourself out there, you're putting your services out there, really helping them disidentify who they are with what they do. But this fear of being seen can hold a lot of people back from going online.
I'm curious if this was something you had to overcome. Absolutely.
I mean, the reason why I started on social media, which the first platform that I went on was YouTube. And it scared me so, so much because it was truly a mirror to all the things that were limiting beliefs inside of me, all the things that stopped me from, you know, changing and evolving.
And because I felt that fear, that's when I went and like made sure that I do it, because I realized that it's if I'm not going to break it now, I was 26 at a time. If I'm not breaking this now, this is going to change the rest of my life because I'm just going to continue playing small because of that fear.
It's just not worth it. I'm not willing to lose all these amazing possibilities that are out there waiting for me because of that.
I don't know what it was, right? So I was scared. I did it anyways.
I think that, again, I constantly went back into my why and reminding myself the value that me showing up brings aside from just myself. It's not about, you know, me going out there and getting the validation and affirmations of people.
That's not what it was for me. It was bigger than that.
So that really helped me to continue push forward. And I got better and better and more myself online.
And it took a few years. And I think people it's important for people to know it doesn't happen right away.
And for me, what was so shocking was when I started the podcast, Not Alone, it was a year ago. When I listened to some of my first episodes, I was like, Oh my God, who is this girl? That's not me.
You know, I was trying to find my voice and this is me already being in the business of being seen for six, seven years. Right.
So it just reminded me how, okay, there's like more work to be done. There's more, uh, there's more to push.
There's more to break. And I went through the process again, after all these years of doing it for Instagram and YouTube on the podcast, being like, who am I? Why, why is it scary for me? What am I scared of? And obviously continuing to push and show up and double down, honestly, because again, I've seen the results of me doing that in the past.
So now it's time to show up again and do the work in a different, on a different platform. But it's been such a blessing.
It's such a beautiful journey to go through, to be able to recognize it and just go through it. So I, I mean, my story is a testament that you, you won't avoid it.
You know, if you're willing to risk all the gifts that are out there waiting for you, just to be safe and feel like no one is seeing you, then, you know, that's something that you have to be okay with the decision that you make for yourself. But I was absolutely not okay with that.
No, I love that you have the desire stronger than the fear and that your warrior, your resilient spirit was like, oh, I'm not about to let this smaller comfort zone hide me from all the gifts and blessings that I can experience by just going for it, feeling something that's uncomfortable. So I think that's really beautiful.
And I, the more, if we're willing to use this business, motherhood, whatever our role is as a path for personal development, it's easy because as we get to that core fear, then it'll show up in every other aspect of our life. And as we share more visibly in the world, we are that mirror, like you said, but for people's shadow and their light, like they will project both ways onto us.
And I love that you just said, like, you're going to keep evolving. So, because I think a lot of times people think there's like this end date, like now I'm confident or now I am fully expressed and that just keeps happening.
And I think the less we judge ourselves, myself as well, even on the podcast, I knew, and I started this, it was like, I'm going to let myself be at this stage and not judge it. Cause I know if I judge where I'm at, I'm just going to get further trapped in it.
And I'd rather just acknowledge, okay, cool. I'm doing it.
Okay, cool. I'm finding more of my voice.
I'm getting more comfortable with it, right? Not to have these ideals of perfectionism, because that's, I think, what holds us back. And really anytime we're afraid of being seen, it's because we unconsciously have this judgment about ourselves.
And so if we're insecure about something and somebody speaks to it, it hurts. But if we're really confident in it and somebody speaks criticism to it, it doesn't hurt us.
And so that's our power, not in somebody else. And we can learn to kind of what I call in-source safety, really like, and I'll talk about this in a moment, but really come home to ourselves to let it be okay within us.
And then the outside judgments don't hurt as much, but criticism is going to be part of the platform, right? Like the more visible you are, people are going to have their opinions. How do you actually navigate criticism? I know you were talking about this earlier around having boundaries and how that's evolved for you.
Can you talk to us a bit about it? Yeah. With criticism, it was also a relationship that I developed with it.

At first, every negative thing, I gave a stage to it being like, you know, everyone are, I'm a public figure. You know, everyone can say what they want and that's just the name of the game.
But once I started understanding and look at it in a different way, I now either use it for inspiration or for further self-development or I block. I have three buckets.
So to me, I approach criticism in a very methodical way. If this is pure hate and there's really nothing there, just projection, I block, I wish you well somewhere else.
If I see that it is constructive, constructive feedback, if I feel like it's triggering me, the person has said it in a very respective way, but it's triggering me. I take it and I'm sitting down with myself and like, what is it? Like, what is rattling inside of me that needs to be attended to? Because to your point, this is the best therapy, you know, that a person can have.
I just have all these millions of people that are mirrors for me, for me. So I very much kind of take it and, uh, and use it for my own self-development and thank the person for the lesson.
And if I have to investigate it further, I even have conversations. I have so many conversations that I've had online that opened my mind, that gave me a different perspective about the world.
And I love that. I think that is so, that's the essence, right, of human connection to be able to expand.
So I very much welcome those. And when I recognize those, I'm like, okay, let's open it up.
Um, and then of course there are certain comments that are, yes, there are projections of people and, um, and it's not something that is doing anything for me, but a lot of the times I find inspiration there for content. I'm like, listen, this is great.
This is some serious viral content over here. This is material.
I think you have such a healthy relationship with criticism. I love your three buckets.
Will you remind us one more time so we can hear it? Because there's so much magic in what you're saying. And I'll unpack what it is in a moment.
Yes. So my three buckets are I have the block when it's just hateful and there's no there's no use to it.
People projecting bye bye. The second bucket is the feedback slash mirror.
This is an opportunity for self-development, for diving deeper into what it is that triggered me. And then the third one is content inspiration.
So those three, every time I go through the comments or DMs, I'm like, okay, where do you fit? I love this. One of my spiritual teachers we had on the podcast named Byron Katie, I don't know if you know her, but she says the first act of war is defense.
And so the fact that you have an openness to hearing what somebody's feedback is or criticism is, and then you're, you have these buckets, obviously if it's triggering you, there's something you're saying needs tending to. It's so wise that you even have that perspective and the willingness to look at it rather than just defend and shut it off.
Is it disrespectful? Then that's not appropriate in your community, your online home, your online space. Or when it's not triggering us, I've also had one of my posts went viral.
It was around telling people that it was safe to actually ask your partner to be vulnerable. And they were like, you can't be vulnerable as a man.
You're going to invite criticism. It's not safe.
And I was like, oh, wow, this showed me information. Like you're saying, like there's viral feedback that I could speak to that would speak to the masses in a way that I had no idea that that was one of the tendernesses, the wounds.
So this is, I love this. I love this.
This is brilliant.

Yeah. It's so human psychology.
This is why I love this business so much and why I think it's so

amazing for people, no matter what profession you're in to go out there and show up and open

kind of the space, but also being able to do the work and recognize what is what. It's just, it teaches me so much about people just from, you know, sitting in my home on my computer.
I mean, what else, what else can you ask for from a career? Everyone will give you what you need for your freedom online. Sometimes literally I, when I have wanted to proactively do professional development work, I've gone on Instagram and I've just taken a pen and paper to just look at what are the stories that I'm telling myself as a accelerator path to my own freedom.
So this work will definitely offer that or any job that you're in and you're online being seen. Confidence is a big part of the work that I do.
I would love to hear from you or what your experience is around kind of how you support people in feeling more confident or what your journey has been around feeling confident, especially with the pressures of society. I think confidence is very much like an internal game.
Yeah, you get feedback from the outside, but at the end of the day, it doesn't really change what's inside. You know, that's when people ask me about certain milestones or certain big moments of my career.
Those are not the ones that made or change the inner workings inside of me. It's usually the moments when I kind of have an aha moment that changes the way I move in the world.
So with confidence, it was the same thing. I think that when I started showing up and I was consistent, it slowly showed me that, hey, I'm capable.
Hey, I'm, you know, people resonate with this messaging. I have something valuable to say.
So it was this constant like conversation that I had to have with myself, honestly, not even with myself, with like five-year-old Valeria, right? Like that still is the source of this insecurities that I carry. So it was very much this kind of inner dialogue that I had to have and not only had, still having.
Every time I start something and bigger as a project that is ambitious, I still have the imposter syndrome. You know, it shows up every time I go for something bigger and I no longer look at it as like, oh, I didn't, it's still there.
It's more like, okay, this means that I'm leveling up. It means that, you know, something bigger is coming and I need to now do the work for like the next level.
So it's always this theme in my life as you can, if you noticed of more of, okay, the next stage requires this aspect of me. The next stage requires a different aspect or a different kind of work.
But, you know, our, I truly believe that I will never have this like a hundred percent confidence in myself, a hundred percent, no more, you know, all these negative emotions. It's just, it doesn't feel human.
Uh, I feel like that's, you know, something that will happen with AI for AI, but it's not something that comes naturally for us or will ever happen. And I'm okay with it.
I've come to a point where I'm like, I don't need to get to this level to enjoy and to bask in my success and abilities and all those things. So confidence is this constant moving, developing journey for me.
Yeah. I think that's so healthy to have that kind of relationship.
I do think that a lot of people have this perfectionistic idea that they'll be confident at some point and then they'll just arrive there in certain areas of their life. And I love your reframe.
It's like, oh, if imposter syndrome comes up, that just means that I'm going to my next level, right? Because the ego is like, how do I get rid of this? Or, oh, no, this is here again. But essence, the truth of our being is like, how do I embrace this? It's okay if it's here.
It welcomes everything. And so I love that you do the inner work.
I didn't realize how much inner work you do around the outer game.

And this is everything I stand for. So it gets me even more excited and it helps me understand why

I intuitively loved you from the very beginning. I'm like, yeah, I can feel that because to me,

that's integrated. You're willing to be with your humanity.
It's not these ideals that you're

comparing yourself to. And one of the things that I teach people is to secure the insecurity.
So to really, from your open, loving heart, to really embrace the feeling or the part of you that's insecure, because then you're not identified with thoughts, feelings, and actions, and you instantly feel confident because you've embraced that part of you. And so, and underneath all of those insecure thoughts, insecure feelings is a true confidence that is the ground of your, your, your true nature is the ground of being.
And so as you part those clouds by welcoming them, you instantly feel this deeper confidence that doesn't come and go. And I think that's what people really crave, but it's around identity, not identifying with the one or the feeling of the thought that's insecure.
So that's so beautifully put. I love that.
This is a beautiful way to put everything that I'm feeling and how I'm moving in the world. I love that.
Yeah. There's a lot of synchronicity, you know, like I'll play in the social media realm, but it's not my jam and you'll play with the inner work and like, that's not your front facing thing.
So there's like, we connect in parallel in a lot of different ways, which is really beautiful, which I'm surprised about and makes a lot of sense to me because I can feel that from you and the depth of work. And I think it's important that more people do the inner work and how that, again, I'm biased, but like, that's the real game and how that can support all of our dreams and living in alignment with what we really want to create in the world.
Absolutely. And you know, when I think back of when it started for me, that understanding was when I was still a mother to two really young boys.
It was just Jake and Ben at the time. And, um, I just felt, I didn't quite feel like I fit into this motherhood thing because again, for me, the idea of like, okay, I became a mother.
It's this all encompassing and this is all I am. And I was struggling to verbalize what I was feeling.
And when I picked up New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, and he was talking about the roles that we play. And all of a sudden, I was able to start moving away from this full encompassing role and just really focusing on me.
I have me right here and there's all these amazing gifts and roles that I'm able to play and you can both enjoy it and not let that define you. And I think when you don't grasp so tightly to these definitions, they're just more flow and it's easier to move through the world.
Things come, things go. And to your point, you're just so grounded with your being that it doesn't shake the whole foundation.
That's right. I'm smiling so big for people that can't see right now.
A New Earth is my favorite book in the world. This is something that I've read and I consistently

read just because I get different gems from it. Totally changed everything in my world.
And I love that you have a deep connection with those teachings and his work. I would highly recommend anyone that's interested in greater freedom or any type of spiritual awakening, A New Earth would be my number one suggestion.
Yeah. And so was there a moment or a challenge in your journey that helped you actually change the way that you were living or a moment that you took a challenge and it just totally redirected you in a new way for the better? I mean, if I have to think about, if I'm thinking about my career, I think that first moment of me deciding to go and create that first YouTube video and editing it and sitting and watching my face and me stumbling over my words and my insecurity with my grammar or my English, because it's not my first language and still posting it out there and continuing to

show up. That was for me such a huge shift because I was, I was able to get over that mountain felt

like the biggest mountain in the world to me at that time. So it's, it's those moments, the same with, you know, in my personal life and motherhood, or even in my marriage, you know, when I was able to sit down and truly articulate my truth and my wants and my needs, that was a big mountain that I went, you know, through and that made me feel so much more confident, like just reaffirmed how capable I am to know what I need and when I needed.
So it's, it's those moments, you know, that life continues to bring forward in different forms and shapes that I keep, I keep a little note in my notes. I have those moments to just kind of remind me.
So it's not the achievements, right? It's not like, Oh, I got a feature at the New York times, or I was voted this, or I hit 2 million followers. It's this, remember that time when.
Beautiful. I do this with my coaches.
I call it a success journal, but I love that, that it's essentially you're tracking those micro moments and that you still move forward, whatever you're defining as success for yourself so that you can build that confidence and keep looking at what is working because the mind's naturally out of survival mechanism is going to look at what's not working, but it's just as important to look at what is working. That's brilliant.
I love that. People can take that and implement starting today.
And for those aspiring entrepreneurs that are wanting to grow an online presence, what other learnings or advice would you offer them if you were to share, even with your younger self or to them, What would you say starting at this point would be important for them to know? I think in the beginning is just honestly working the muscle of showing up and be consistent, because that's really is the name of the game when it comes to social media or like, honestly, in anything in life. so if you made a decision, you show up and there's no, even on bad days and even when on days where you don't feel like it and you find a way to tell your story and your truth in a way that, you know, won't betray you based on how you feeling, but will still be able to connect to a certain degree with, with the audience.
Uh, so it's that simple. There's really no, you know, there, there's no like hidden ways to just make it happen.
Um, so that, that, that's that for me, just having that, if you can have that support system around you, just to remind you, you know, from time to time, you're that person, like you're good, you keep showing up, you're doing amazing. And then you, um, making that decision and, and keeping yourself accountable.
That's all you need. Everything else you figure out as you go along.
Yeah. That says, says a resourceful mindset.
So I want to highlight that because not everyone has that, like your, your ability to say like, I can figure this out and your willingness to test, to be compassionate with yourself. These are some of the things that I've been hearing you prioritizing the inner work, focusing on what your small wins are so that you can keep track of that, staying in integrity with your values and connecting with people online emotionally by being yourself.
These are all little gems that I've heard throughout our conversation that I just want to highlight for people that they can implement moving forward. And I know my audience is going to want to stay connected.
I know you have a podcast. Share with us where we can stay connected and hear more from you.
Yes. Thank you.
I have my have my podcast, not alone. Um, and that's available

anywhere you listen to podcasts too. Um, I am on, like you mentioned, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok,

I'm everywhere. Valeria Lipovetsky.
Uh, and yeah, it's just like a diary of this

constant, uh, self-development journey, not even self-development, but self-discovery that I love sharing with the world and my community. Thank you for doing it so openly and taking us along on the journey.
It's such a blessing to know you. Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world, starting with yourself.
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