Using Breathwork to Calm Stress + Navigate Entrepreneurship with Samantha Skelly | EP34

Speaker 1 The research shows us that we actually chemically in our brain, the epinephrine that's released in our brain is actually so similar from LSD to breath work.

Speaker 1 So it is interesting that we are our own drug

Speaker 1 and we have the remedy to every point of suffering that lives in our body and we can use breathwork in order to reach those deeper places.

Speaker 2 Welcome. I'm Alyssa Nobriga, your host of the Healing and Human Potential Podcast.
A place for you to discover the multidimensionality of what it means to be human.

Speaker 2 Over the past 20 years, I've trained thousands of coaches in my methodology, leveraging my experience as a former psychotherapist, and I'm here to share with you all the wisdom and insights that I've learned along the way.

Speaker 2 Each week, I'll share with you life-changing tools to support you in awakening and manifesting your dream life from the inside out.

Speaker 2 We'll be exploring the intersection between ancient wisdom and modern everyday life, really diving deep into the art of human potential through the lens of psychology, spirituality, and coaching.

Speaker 2 Let's let the magic unfold.

Speaker 2 Today we're diving into the power of the breath and how to use it to help heal anxiety and stress, as well as to discover your untapped potential. Let's take a conscious breath together right now.

Speaker 2 In this episode, we're joined by Samantha Skelly, who's the founder of Paws Breathwork, a company committed to making breathwork mainstream.

Speaker 2 We're unpacking the science behind breathwork, its impact on the nervous system, navigating entrepreneurship, and how to block out the pressures that society can put on you so that you can build a business that feels authentic to you.

Speaker 2 So good.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 2 I'm so happy that you're here. And I want to jump right in because I know that breathwork is such a big part of your work.

Speaker 2 And I know that it's kind of roots back to yogic traditions, but it's so powerful. Tell us about the science behind breath work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, absolutely. So there's so many different types of breath work.
I think sometimes when we look on social media, we see that cathartic release, the intensity.

Speaker 1 And something I say all the time is intensity does not equal transformation. So let's kind of break it down.
So we have our nervous system, right?

Speaker 1 We have our parasympathetic nervous system, which is our rest and digest, and our sympathetic nervous system, which is our fight and flight.

Speaker 1 So there's actually breath work techniques that stimulate the nervous system that we desire to be in. So, for instance, a breath like

Speaker 1 is breath work for relaxation. It's going to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
We're going to really relax. Yeah.
Right. And then we have.

Speaker 2 That's just because we're exhaling longer, so it's letting the body know we're safe. Absolutely.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And then we have breath work for transformation, which is more intense, right? So it's that sympathetic response.

Speaker 1 Now, the reason why people feel so amazing in breath work, a couple reasons. Number one, we are shifting the pH levels of our body.
When we shift the pH levels of our body, our cells are

Speaker 1 shifting the perception of reality. We have our amygdala, which is responsible for our emotion.
And what's happening is the breath is actually mitigating a lot of the amygdala response.

Speaker 1 So when the breath mitigates the amygdala response, the body is actually shifting into a more relaxed state because our fight or flight response is not so intense.

Speaker 1 So the hypervigilance, the protectors, if you're familiar with parts work, right? The part of us that's always trying to protect ourselves is not so intense. It's not so online.

Speaker 1 And when it's not so online, we have a completely different perception, right?

Speaker 1 I've been in breath work classes where People will walk in and you know, they'll kind of judge it like what am I doing here?

Speaker 1 This is so crazy and then they'll kind of explain their perception of the room before they walked in and after they walked in and it's a completely different perception which is why breath work is so powerful for anxiety and stress because we can get an email from a client and it can put our body into that sympathetic fight or flight response we can then do breath work to activate the parasympathetic and we can literally have a different perception of reality.

Speaker 1 And so it's an ability to release these chemicals, release these hormones in the body, which allows us to really move into a more grounded and present place. Beautiful.

Speaker 2 And let's kind of unpack different types of breath work just to give people an orientation.

Speaker 2 So I know that, and we'll talk a little bit about who it's for as well, but talk to us about different styles of breath work because we have like a smorgasbord of an experience.

Speaker 1 Schmorgish board. So breath work for relaxation, right? That parasympathetic, that elongated exhale, which really activates the sympathetic to respond to, oh, everything's okay.

Speaker 2 I'm safe I'm safe

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 1 this feeling is just a sensation it's not indicative of my actual true safety and so we can really use that type of breath work for relaxation that parasympathetic you know oftentimes with sympathetic breathwork we want to really force that exhale like

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 1 With parasympathetic breathwork for relaxation, we just want to let it fall out of the mouth, right?

Speaker 1 Typically, in through the nose,

Speaker 1 out through the mouth. And so at pause breath work, we have different breath work types.
And so our sympathetic breath work is

Speaker 1 the triactive breath, right? Two in.

Speaker 1 We're opening up the lungs. We're increasing the capacity we have.
We're increasing the amount of energy that's coming into the body. We're allowing that exhale to be nice and powerful.

Speaker 1 Then there's one called the halo active, which is in through the nose.

Speaker 1 Letting the breath fall out.

Speaker 1 And then it tells the body, oh, I'm safe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, really, depending on what we desire in that moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, if I'm about to go on stage, I want to get myself energized.
I want to get myself amped up.

Speaker 2 I'm like, let's go. Like, I'm like coffee form.
Yeah, totally, right?

Speaker 1 So, I'm like, I'm going to activate the triactive breath. I'm going to get as much energy into the body.
I'm going to release all that stagnation, release all that like lethargic energy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to relax, like let myself be. It's almost like this relaxation and energy at the same time.

Speaker 1 Like this peaceful, like, it's peace, but we're like enthused, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's right before I go on stage. But if I'm about to go to sleep, I'm going to use the halo active breath in through the nose, out through the mouth.

Speaker 1 Sounding is also a really beautiful way to activate the parasympathetic as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so choosing your own adventure depending on like what your body is asking for depending on the somatic experience that you desire to have in that moment you can pair the perfect breath work with that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and when I was in grad school I learned holotropic breath work, which is a more intense breath work.

Speaker 2 And this was in 2010, so 14 years ago or so. And I discovered that it actually activates similar parts of the brain that LSD does.
And so you can literally get high on your own supply.

Speaker 2 It is deeply transformative and powerful. That's the more activating breath that you're speaking of.
And we can transform energy without even needing to know what it was, right?

Speaker 2 So being able to just presence whatever energy comes into the body helps it release.

Speaker 2 So it's helpful to know, just to give people context that somatic work is a, or breath work is a branch of somatic work. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that soma means body, and it's, it's like the thoughts and the feelings speak a different dialect. So we can't say, I shouldn't feel this.

Speaker 2 It's like, okay, as a somatic practitioner or to use breath work, what's the sensation? How do I stay with the sensation rather than the story and just allow it and breathe into it? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Create space for it.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Well, Standgroff, the creator of holotropic breathwork, was actually an LSD researcher before he got into breathwork.

Speaker 1 And he discovered breathwork, and the research shows us that we actually chemically in our brain, the epinephrine that's released in our brain is actually so similar from LSD to breath work, which is fascinating.

Speaker 2 And this is super healthy, it's free, it's available at any time.

Speaker 1 exactly and when it got legalized he was like okay well i'm gonna go deep into holotropic breath work yeah well holotropic breath work is a brand that he created yeah um and yeah it's like the intensity it's it's an interesting concept it's the first ever breathwork session i had was in bali actually yeah and it was a holotropic style and that what's interesting about the holotropic style is you have a breather and a sitter and it's for three hours so the breather is literally just breathing for three hours while someone sits there for three hours and just watches them breathe yeah yeah it's very interesting but it's incredibly intense.

Speaker 1 It is intense. You have those massive cathartic releases.

Speaker 1 You have the lobster claws, which is tetany, if you've ever had that, where your hands just kind of do this and then they kind of like go to the center.

Speaker 1 And if you don't know what that is, it's super freaky, but it goes normal. Yeah, it's totally normal.
So it is interesting that we are our own drug

Speaker 1 and we have the remedy to every point of suffering that lives in our body. And we can

Speaker 1 use breathwork in order to reach those deeper places through somatic and to heal and to transform and to let it move through the body.

Speaker 2 So oftentimes I'll just ask clients, because I teach holotropic in my certification, it's like, can I just be with this energy?

Speaker 2 Can I just say yes to this, whatever this is in the moment? And the more we say yes to it, the more it opens.

Speaker 2 And because again, you can't think your way out of a feeling. And I know you're big about you got to feel it to heal it too.
It's like...

Speaker 2 opening this and stretching the range of capacity to just feel all of it and I think breath work is a great backdoor in for people that are really conceptual and they know all about their psychology and it's like just feel it just breathe into it and we want to just open just a little bit more just a little bit more can i be with this

Speaker 2 and so you mentioned that breathwork's really great for people that have anxiety and stress i know it's not great with the intense breathing for people that are pregnant so share with us a little bit about who it's good for who it's not

Speaker 1 yeah so

Speaker 1 We take a very trauma-informed approach. I know that's your work as well, right? And it's so important for us to really know the capacity of our nervous system so we don't get ourselves blown out.

Speaker 1 For someone who has had a lot of trauma, like big T trauma in their world, it's very important that we use a titrated approach to breath work.

Speaker 1 It's not to say don't do breath work if you have a ton of trauma. It's actually one of the greatest things that you can do, but it must be done with so much care.

Speaker 1 being highly attuned to the energetics of the nervous system and just establishing that level of safety so that we can open. That's right.

Speaker 2 Right? I think I just want to double-click on what you just said. The safety is what creates the healing.
Yes. So the more we create that safety, the easier.
It's like the body knows what to do.

Speaker 2 It's just like a cut. If we have a cut, it finds resolution.
It finds healing. And so creating that right environment is the safety to help us heal emotionally, mentally, somatically.

Speaker 1 And how amazing that we have that intelligence in our body. It's so profound.

Speaker 1 And the school system not teaching emotional safety is so crazy. I know.
Why did we learn how to find the X? I don't ever, I will never, ever

Speaker 2 need that.

Speaker 1 But we spent years doing it. That's right.

Speaker 1 But we were not taught emotional regulation, emotional safety, how to actually find that felt sense of safety that lives in our body because that is the foundation to all the expansion that we desire in this world.

Speaker 1 All of it.

Speaker 1 And so breathwork has an incredible ability to really find that safety slowly, slowly, slowly. So to answer your question, who is it for?

Speaker 1 It's for people who have a lot of trauma, but we have to do it in a very titrated way. You know, slowly, like,

Speaker 1 like even taking 10 deep breaths. Yeah.
And then, because with 10 deep breaths, there is a somatic shift. There is a change.

Speaker 1 And then just being with that and going, okay,

Speaker 1 let me just calibrate

Speaker 1 to this energetic frequency in my body and let me open up to and stay open like keep that heart open keep the awareness open keep the curiosity open and then the next time we do it we do 20 breaths Maybe we do a top hold to kind of like shoot the energy up a little bit It's a beautiful process women who are pregnant definitely do not do holotropic definitely do not do anything until they really stay with those

Speaker 1 Breath works for relaxation those calm those grounding those parasympathetic techniques. We can stay in our conscious mind with breath work, or we can get blown out into another dimension.

Speaker 1 The eight-minute mark is where that begins to shift.

Speaker 2 That's interesting. I've noticed that.
It's like the first, I would say 10, but maybe it's eight.

Speaker 2 The mind can be really activating. And so to just keep breathing and feeling into the sensations rather than staying in the story can help pull us through that eight-minute mark.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 People hate breath work until the eight-minute mark, and then they're like, this is amazing.

Speaker 1 It's called breath work for a reason. There's actual work.
The amount of people that come to me and say, Sam, I just hate breath work.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you haven't done it in more than eight minutes then yeah good so it's really at that eight minute mark and we tested this with thousands of our clients at the eight minute mark we begin to shift from the conscious mind to the subconscious we begin to really write that amygdala the amygdala begins to mitigate the response which means we're not so hyper vigilant our protectors are not as online we drop deeper into our emotional experience we drop deeper into our spiritual experience and that's when we have those beautiful big awakenings yeah now for pregnant women don't do that because we can't control what happens

Speaker 1 and your baby is receiving all the transmissions that you're going through, right?

Speaker 1 So breath work for pregnant people under eight minutes and keep it titrated in that parasympathetic technique. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's pregnant, lots of trauma. And then

Speaker 1 for people who are

Speaker 1 just incredibly heady, like you mentioned this, right?

Speaker 1 My favorite thing is teaching breath work to high-powered CEOs.

Speaker 1 Incredibly intelligent. You want to be in control.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. You want to be in control? Come with me.

Speaker 2 Let's go on a ride.

Speaker 1 But it's just so wild how people have the ability to just crack wide open

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 really feel the truth of who they are breath by breath, moment by moment. And

Speaker 1 you know this more than anyone. It's like, it's the reason why we do anything is to self-actualize, right?

Speaker 1 And so if we really get down and keep asking the question, why do people get into positions of power? It's to feel important, it's to feel loved, it's to feel worthy, right?

Speaker 1 This good old worthiness wound, right?

Speaker 1 And so bringing people to that place with their breath, realizing, oh, you actually didn't have to build a billion-dollar company.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can, but you don't have to, in order to feel that felt sense of worthiness and love

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 just belonging.

Speaker 2 It's pretty powerful. It's beautiful.
Yeah.

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Speaker 2 And, you know, one of the things I love about breathwork is that as you're working to regulate your nervous system, you don't have to do as much mindset work because I think when we're in a state of fight or flight, our mind gets really activated, like you were talking about, the hyper vigilance, to protect us.

Speaker 2 It goes on overdrive. But as we slow down the breath and regulate the nervous system, the thoughts also can follow.

Speaker 2 So it's like you can use the body to also just settle and you don't have to do so much mindset work. So it's like it all plays a part together.

Speaker 2 And the more we are aware of how to use these tools that are inherent within us, us, then we not only find more peace, but then we move forward in a really aligned way.

Speaker 2 We're no longer having to build a billion-dollar business. We may still do that, but it comes from a different place.

Speaker 1 Yes, it comes from overflow.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh, and contribution. Yeah.
And aliveness and service.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's truly incredible.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 The thing I'm obsessed with so much, and I love this work so much, is the realization that people have

Speaker 1 of their own innate power.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, just like seeing that like look on their face after they do a breath work class or after they do a somatic session. I'm just like, oh my goodness, this is so amazing.
And

Speaker 1 my background was in mindset coaching. Like I started off as a mindset coach.
I didn't do any like body-based works. I did it for myself, but not with my clients.

Speaker 1 And I just saw like the limitations of that.

Speaker 1 And now I'm beginning to see, and I'm curious your thoughts on this, but the way that I view transformation, the way that I I view this work is in 80-20, 80% lives in the body. 80% is in the body.

Speaker 1 The 20% is the mind.

Speaker 1 The mindset is creating the direction, creating the vision, creating the map of here we are and here's where we want to go.

Speaker 1 The mind is the identities and the

Speaker 1 beliefs that we have. And then the transformation then gets to really happen on a somatic level.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I see it interesting, similar and a little different.
I would say the 80 is the inner work and the 20 is the outer.

Speaker 2 And so for me, like example, I love somatic work. I love dropping in and I've been doing that work for quite a while.
And I think it's important to do mindset work. But I would say

Speaker 2 some people don't resonate with somatic work. They really have a hard time either or they don't feel safe.
They've never felt safe in their body.

Speaker 2 So we want to have an we want to have a different way in. So I talk about five different ways, five different levels of change.

Speaker 2 So somatic being one of them, mindset being another, unconscious reprogramming, behavioral and mental. Sorry,

Speaker 2 somatic, emotional, mental, emotional, and behavioral. So I think some people are just so heady that they need to learn mindset work to

Speaker 2 open

Speaker 2 or another way in maybe to bypass. We have to kind of have a tailored, customized approach to see how to get in.

Speaker 2 But I do think that mindset work was the buzzword and the somatic work's the buzzword and like, you know, unconscious work maybe another buzzword

Speaker 2 yeah so it will go through phases and they're all important but it's an integrative approach that i think is important so that we don't just we're not just a one-trick pony yeah for ourselves or if we do this work professionally yeah my experience with mindset work when i tried it was

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 1 it was like the adrenaline of like wanting to change so much was sort of like a false reality and then i would get back you know after the conference i would get back i'm like oh nothing's changed and then i'd have to go it was like it was like a drug i'm like I gotta keep like filling up and topping up yeah versus somatic work is like let's shift this at like the body level like the cellular level and it's like the small hinge that swings the big door yeah we go into the body and we shift it at such a deep level and then our reality like over time begins to shift and change yes and the things that historically would trigger us just don't trigger us anymore.

Speaker 1 I remember for years,

Speaker 1 my brother and I had like a very interesting relationship. It was like

Speaker 1 we were 12 months and 12 days apart. So just like, you know, at each other's necks constantly.

Speaker 1 And I made a decision five or six years ago that I'm committed to having the best possible relationship with my brother possible. So I used him as my teacher.

Speaker 1 He didn't know this, but maybe he doesn't know if he's listening to this podcast.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I'm going to use him as my teacher. I'm going to take 100% responsibility in everything that he says.
I'm going to be a scientist.

Speaker 1 I'm going to investigate and inquire what is this trigger bringing up and, like, how can I really heal this and repattern this? And

Speaker 1 historically, I'd go home for dinner. And I live in San Diego, my family's all in Vancouver.
So, I'd go there. I'd sit down.
My brother would start talking. And I'm like, I got to go for a second.

Speaker 1 I would jump in my car. I would go for a drive and I would just scream.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I'm so annoyed. That's

Speaker 1 and I was like, we got to change this, Sam. Like, we're not going to live our lives like this.

Speaker 1 So I spent a good couple of years, like really being the investigator of these triggers from a body-based, somatic level. And then now, first of all, he's my best friend now, which is so crazy.

Speaker 1 My parents are like, what happened?

Speaker 2 I'm like,

Speaker 1 somatic work.

Speaker 1 And now,

Speaker 1 no matter what he says, nothing has an impact. It is wild.

Speaker 1 It is so wild. Like the ability to like go into the body, really understand what was that trigger?

Speaker 2 What was that part?

Speaker 1 Like what part of me was so upset, so defensive, so

Speaker 1 just sad.

Speaker 1 And what did she actually need? And it's just, it's fascinating. So it's like the littlest amount of work has completely transformed our relationship and my life and his life.

Speaker 2 That's beautiful.

Speaker 2 And then you don't have to play that out with every other relationship because that pattern was in you. So you would have projected it onto employees or friends.

Speaker 2 You go to the root of it. I always say that a real healing is a change of behavior.
So I love that you live it, you test it.

Speaker 2 And I think sometimes it's about, you know, emotionally being the parent for the parts of us that needed to hear something. I think sometimes it's about questioning a misunderstanding.

Speaker 2 100% it needs to be lived in the body so that it's like,

Speaker 2 can I allow this sensation to be here? Can I be with this? And you just, you know, breathe into it for 90 seconds and it moves on. Yes.

Speaker 2 But people keep thinking about it and then it recycles in our nervous system and people don't realize that.

Speaker 2 They think it's hard to feel something but it's actually the resistance to feeling it that's hard yes so the sensation comes up and then the mind says this is hard and then it creates the resistance but actually before the idea that this is hard it's just a sensation and it's easy and so just to invite people to test that to just try on can I be with this sensation that's right here even if it's resistance that comes up yeah it's like oh yeah actually when resistance is allowed it moves on it's trying to protect something I oftentimes when resistance comes up, I get curious.

Speaker 2 I lean in because I know it's protecting something really juicy. And if I just stay with it, because resistance wants to be like, I'm out.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And if you stay with it, it actually opens you to something really deep. It's magic.

Speaker 2 And that iceberg that you kind of like, as an analogy, we're just chipping away, maybe through somatic, maybe through mindset, maybe through emotional work. And eventually that iceberg just melts.

Speaker 2 It's gone. It's done for the last time.
And our relationships change as a result. And we didn't need them to be different for us to experience the power of that change.

Speaker 2 So, I love that you highlight that. It's so important.

Speaker 1 You know what? I've been playing with a lot recently, which has been so fascinating, is

Speaker 1 really,

Speaker 1 so it's like

Speaker 1 when we really just get with the pain and feel it as the sensation that it is, and just be with it.

Speaker 1 In my experience, the other side of that, like right on the other side of that, is pleasure.

Speaker 1 And so, running your pain through arrows and

Speaker 1 allowing yourself to feel it until it reaches this liberated state of pleasure is fascinating and impossible if we have a story attached to it. That's right.
Or if we're in resistance to it.

Speaker 2 A story of good or bad, hurtful or not hurtful. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. And it's

Speaker 1 really about becoming the alchemist, turning density into divinity, getting with it, being with it, being so committed to going all the way through it.

Speaker 2 And then there's like this liberation and this this well of energy that explodes in the body and it's like what is happening like this is this is wild that's right that's so how can we get excited about these triggers and excited about the pain and and just be like wow i'm so excited to see what's on the other side of this yeah and i want to highlight what you just shared so it's like not having a story about it is super important so that it's just the sensation bringing that curiosity and openness to it and when you see it all the way through at the core of it is peace at the core of it is love and it opens us to the opposite yeah i call it the paradox of transformation like the very thing if we open to loneliness ironically it's connection if we open to being stuck the opposite we actually feel free yeah so can i actually say yes to all of this my meditation teacher adiashanti talks about freedom to versus freedom from and the freedom to life is to say yes to all the sensations and as we do that it transforms and i love that you are stand for this, that you live this, that I want to hear more examples of people that follow the trigger or go towards the thing that's scary because it's actually scarier and harder when we avoid it.

Speaker 2 We take it with us.

Speaker 2 And so we just have to keep going, but we also just want to be mindful of.

Speaker 2 big T trauma and just being aware that we're resourced, that we're not totally identified and stuck in the pattern or in the sensation, that there's a level of safety or presence or

Speaker 2 spaciousness around the energy. So because if we're totally identified, we can get sucked into it and looped in.
Yeah. Versus like, okay,

Speaker 2 there is a safety and a presence here that is allowing all of it. And as we allow it, then it transforms.
Otherwise, if we are it, we're further stuck in our body.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And the breath acts as a catalyst and a support in that.
So when I was working these pieces, I was breathing, it was almost like I was breathing in

Speaker 1 and letting the the pain marinate in my body, not from a place of identification, but a place of just transmutation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 An allowance.

Speaker 1 An allowance, right? It's like, I'm breathing it in

Speaker 1 and I'm transmuting it out. And what that's allowing me to do is have spaciousness.
When I add breath, it adds spaciousness

Speaker 1 from the trigger to wholeness. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And when we have that spaciousness through the breath and we're creating that in the body, we don't get trapped. We don't don't get, we don't loop or collapse.
Or collapse. Yeah, right.
We are

Speaker 1 in devotion to this experience from the state of the witness,

Speaker 1 and it's allowing the process to actually feel enjoyable in a weird way.

Speaker 1 And even as I say that, there was a time in my life 15 years ago when I was going through eating disorders and body image issues where that would have felt impossible.

Speaker 1 So I just want to name that as well for people listening.

Speaker 1 It's a practice okay and

Speaker 2 we get to titrate with it you know like don't dive right in like i'm gonna feel everything right now it's like can we feel 10 of the pain with our breath with awareness and then move on like keep feeling it and eventually you're gonna be the alchemist yeah i want to again double click on what you're saying because i think it's important to just meet that edge and then breathe into it just a little bit more that 10 or 5 percent yes so that we're not overwhelming our nervous system and going into fight or flight and really feeling out of control because that can, that

Speaker 2 being activated that way is less healing and less supportive. Absolutely.
And so I love people because I'm also that way. I'm like, let's do it.
I remember one time I was in Thailand.

Speaker 2 I was like, I'm not leaving this bed. I'm going to be the Buddha.
I'm not leaving this bed until I face all of it, you know?

Speaker 2 And then it was such an ego trip. I was darting and it was just, I was just like, okay, touche, got it.

Speaker 2 So like the courage and the willingness is beautiful but the intensity like you say is not needed the consistency is needed the intensity is not yeah absolutely the courage to meet the edge yeah so to yeah I'm curious if you are open to sharing any about your your journey around healing your relationship with your body yeah absolutely

Speaker 1 absolutely before I get into that I just want to share, it's exactly like working out. When I'm in the gym and I go just 10% over what I think I can do, I grow.

Speaker 1 When trauma-informed became popular in 2020, we got way too soft, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 Where it's like, I can't feel anything, I'm offended by everything. It's like we need to have emotional stability and emotional resilience.
We need to have a certain level. That's how we grow.

Speaker 1 That's how we become stronger. That's how we meet the parts of ourselves that we've been at war with.
That's how we find our edge. And so, I just wanted to name that.

Speaker 1 It's like really finding that 10%. The same thing in the physical is the emotional.

Speaker 2 I love that because I think people have a really clear analogy of working out so I love applying that to the emotional yeah it's the same thing we got it we got we don't want to push 100% and like you know tear our bicep but we want to we want to push outside of our comfort zone just a little bit so that we can have this beautiful titrated approach and be consistent and it does get easier I promise it gets easier that muscle memory is built and then you've got new go-to habits to self-regulate or self-soothe rather than addiction and all the different ways that we can lovingly try to help ourselves, but it's not as healthy or effective.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. So, my relationship with food and my body,

Speaker 1 it was a wild one. So, my upbringing, I grew up as a dancer, a child actress, and I was a stunt double in Smallville for four years.
So, I was in entertainment. I was in front of cameras.

Speaker 2 All of that.

Speaker 2 It was a whole thing.

Speaker 1 I was like the little girl in the tide commercial, you know, with the grassy knees.

Speaker 2 Like, I was just like, there's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 And so,

Speaker 1 I always had body image issues. Like, I remember being 12 years old.
I, I love baths. I still take baths like almost every single night.
And so I was in the bath with my Thai latte.

Speaker 1 It was like my thing when I was younger. And I remember just looking down at my body and being like, I'm fat.
Like, I hate my body. I'm fat at 12.
And I was an athlete. Like, I was thin.

Speaker 1 Like, it was just an incredible, a huge case of body dysmorphia. It didn't, it didn't shift into disordered eating until I was about 21.

Speaker 1 And then I started going on every single diet and restricting my food. And so then I had body image issues, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, exercise addiction.

Speaker 1 I'm like, well, I'm going to fix this with being a fitness competitor. So then I was a fitness competitor and I did that forever.
And then

Speaker 1 I was like, okay, I know.

Speaker 1 I know this is not healthy. You know, I

Speaker 1 was in personal development since I was 12 because my parents were super into it. And I knew, I'm like, I'm not being healthy right now, but I can't change.
No matter how much I know, I can't change.

Speaker 1 I was completely disconnected from my body. And so I went to so much therapy.
I did a lot of mindset work. Nothing was working.
And I remember

Speaker 1 this one day.

Speaker 1 I was on my balcony and I was reading the book, Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert, who we've had on the podcast.

Speaker 2 She was amazing. Yeah, so good.

Speaker 1 And she talks about going to Bali and finding that medicine man. He actually passed about three or four years ago now.
And I got to Bali, booked a one-way ticket there,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 I was reading my Lonely Planet. I'm like, I need to find this medicine man that she talks about in this book.
I found the medicine man in the Lonely Planet and I'm like, I have to go. I was in Ubud.

Speaker 1 He was like 20 minutes outside of Ubid.

Speaker 1 So I hop on my scooter. I'm going to see him.

Speaker 2 Yes. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 So I hop on my scooter and you know, I love that you've gone to see him. And you know, there's like that random house and you like line up and there you go, right?

Speaker 2 The whole thing.

Speaker 1 And so I'm like standing there.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I don't even know what I'm going to say or like how this is going to work.

Speaker 1 But at that time in my life, the only things I was really feeling was numb and anxious.

Speaker 1 I was numb,

Speaker 1 and then I was anxious. And when I was anxious, I would do things to just get numb again.
And when I was not, and I just sort of oscillated between numb and anxious.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 after he did his thing where he pokes my feet, and I was like, oh, this is so painful.

Speaker 1 He just goes, you need to go meditate. You need to go meditate.
Like, that's what he told me. That's all.

Speaker 1 And he goes, you think too much. Your brain is too busy.
Just go meditate. And at that time,

Speaker 1 I hated meditation.

Speaker 2 Of course. It's rough for anxiety-producing minds.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, my ADHD, my anxiety, my worthiness stuff, the fact that I hated my body just like sitting there, I was like, this is the worst thing ever.

Speaker 1 So anyway, I was like, well, I'm all the way in Bali. I'm going to go listen to him and go find a meditation class.
So I hop back on my scooter.

Speaker 1 I drive to the yoga barn, which I'm sure you're familiar with, and there was no meditation class. There was yoga classes and there was a three-hour breath work class.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I judged breathwork right away. I was like, that's crazy.
First of all, there's no way I could do that for three hours. And you know that voice inside that's like, go do that thing.

Speaker 2 This is why you're here.

Speaker 1 So I

Speaker 1 sign up for the breath work class. I walk up the stairs.
I open the door. There's this man dressed all in white.
He looks like Jesus.

Speaker 1 And he he comes up to me and he goes, are you ready to go on the ride of your life? And I look at him. I'm like, what are you talking about? Everyone's lying down with like pillows and blankets.

Speaker 1 It kind of looks like an orgy, you know? I'm like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 What is about to happen? What kind of ride? I'm not going on.

Speaker 2 Good question.

Speaker 1 I was like, what am I getting into here?

Speaker 1 And he said, you are going to experience the entire range of human emotion in this class. And I went, bro, you don't know me.
I can feel numb and anxious. Those are my two things.

Speaker 1 Those are the two neighborhoods I hang out in. And he said, you were going to feel the highest states of joy and bliss and ecstasy.

Speaker 1 And you were going to release so much pain that you're holding onto in your body. I'm like, well, that sounds great.
I'm pretty sure that's why I came. And so I lied down.

Speaker 1 He started teaching the breath.

Speaker 1 Within three minutes, my body was just electric in a way that I hadn't felt before. My mind was just like clear and open.
My heart was cracked open.

Speaker 1 I hit that eight minute mark and then I was just just gone. And that three hours felt like 15 minutes.
And I woke up from that experience, and I was like,

Speaker 1 What was that?

Speaker 1 And why does the whole world not know we can do this?

Speaker 1 This is crazy. I just tapped into, like, it's like almost makes me emotional.
I'm like, I just tapped in to this insanely powerful, loving place, and all I was doing was breathing.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 1 became obsessed that moment. Like, I'm like, I'm obsessed with this.
I went back to my

Speaker 1 little Airbnb or wherever I was staying and I was just googling on like the world's slowest internet. Like what is breath or what is happening?

Speaker 1 And I sent cold emails to like San Groff and all them rebirthing and I was like, you don't know me, but

Speaker 1 I want to be mentored by you. I don't know what this is, but I just had the most world-changing experience.
And I was hooked. And I started doing it every single day.

Speaker 1 And that is what healed my eating disorder.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Because I could tell the difference between an emotional hunger cue and a physical hunger cue. I felt self-love for the first time in my life.

Speaker 1 Like my body was meritating in this insane feeling of love. And that was simultaneously so calming and so energizing.
And because I was so connected to my body, I could actually hear what she needed.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what do you need today?

Speaker 1 Okay, I got you.

Speaker 1 And I began to develop a relationship with with my body versus it being this thing that I was constantly fighting and hating and shaming. And I'm like, oh, wow, you're here for me.

Speaker 1 Like, we're doing this together. You're constantly communicating to me what you need.
And I get to respond and honor you. And when I honor you,

Speaker 1 for some reason, life just works out. Yeah.
And so that was the turning point of developing a really healthy relationship to food, using it for health and hunger, not overeating, not undereating.

Speaker 1 I stopped doing fitness competitions. I stopped doing anything that was harmful and shameful and, you know, the egoic agenda.

Speaker 1 And I started just being in awe of this intelligent body that is here to support my journey.

Speaker 2 I love that for so many reasons, but one was that wasn't your intention.

Speaker 2 You actually did the root work and the byproduct was the emotional or you know body, the overeating, whatever it was, let go of you.

Speaker 2 So I think a lot of people are hearing this and are like maybe feeling, could feel shame for having an addiction or not getting there yet And so all I want to say is you're exactly where you're meant to be These are the best ways you've known how to take care of yourself and Ironically as you start to learn other approaches that are more based in the root healing the misunderstandings navigating the energy in the body being compassionate with ourselves That's what starts to transform it.

Speaker 2 So like you know, wherever people are on the journey, just knowing that that there is a deeper way and that these are the best ways we've known how to take care of ourselves.

Speaker 2 And the things that aren't in alignment that we know we shouldn't be doing actually let go of us when we get to the root.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 yes, I love this so much. So my work before Pause Breath Work was Hungry for Happiness.
Actually, I was running that company when we first met, right?

Speaker 2 That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I worked with women who struggled with the diet binge cycle, emotional eating, or everything that I was struggling with. Obviously, that's why I created the company.
And

Speaker 1 I got to see my women have profound shifts and changes when they just forgot about the food and forgot about their body. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if you can bring, that's hard, by the way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It did, you know, but when we can, when we can illustrate as coaches the importance of the emotional work over the food and body and everything, and they see incremental tiny changes, then that just then it just unravels from there.

Speaker 1 It's like so amazing what can happen.

Speaker 1 That's like, that's such a,

Speaker 1 I got to see it so firsthand in that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because when we're trying to, when we're coming from resistance to change a goal and we're not happy with what is, then it cycles more stories and then the guilt and we overeat and then it just like just keeps the loop going.

Speaker 2 Versus like, I'm supposed to be emotionally eating right now because I am, because these are the best ways that I've learned how.

Speaker 2 And so bringing that compassionate awareness, I think, is the first step to changing it.

Speaker 1 So it's supposed to be like that.

Speaker 2 These are the best ways I've learned how. I didn't have other people modeling to me.
Exactly. This is the best I've learned.
This is the best I know how to take care of myself.

Speaker 2 And I'm learning something different. So if somebody's even listening to this, like you're open-minded.
You're learning other ways. And so that compassion, I think, is the first step.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And what's interesting with that is

Speaker 1 you might gain a few pounds. when you stop messing with your food.

Speaker 2 And letting go of the judgment of what that means and then who you think you are or what the future is going to be. Absolutely.
That's more the root stuff.

Speaker 2 It's like, oh, I forgive myself for that misunderstanding and breathing into the contraction that comes up with that. Yeah, all of it.

Speaker 2 So, like, top-down and bottom-up, mindset down, or forgiveness, head down, or the somatic breathing and allowing

Speaker 2 both.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah, it's just truly profound that we are our own healer.

Speaker 2 We are

Speaker 2 drug. That is.
Right.

Speaker 2 And I love that breath work is such a great access for healing. And I also know that breath work can be a great portal for intuition.
And in my masterminds, I do holotropic breath work.

Speaker 2 I love holotropic. I do it more 30 minutes of intense breathing and then 30 minutes of just

Speaker 1 bliss

Speaker 2 everything in oneness. And so

Speaker 2 I love that work and I would sometimes use it to help people download a business model or tune into what is alive for them. What are the next steps?

Speaker 2 And so talk to us a little bit. Yes, it's for healing, but it's also for intuition.
It's also like for downloads and inspiration.

Speaker 1 Healing and awakening, right? It's the duality. So yes, healing, breathwork for healing, 100%.
But I love using breathwork for visioning, for

Speaker 1 really just like having such a direct access to the divine, whether you call that God, universe, life force, angels, whatever your word for it is, when we can remove our survival, not remove, when we can have spaciousness from our survival strategies, we connect with divinity.

Speaker 1 We realize that we are these spiritual beings having a human experience and we're connected to everything and it's so cool, right?

Speaker 2 It's like, oh my gosh, I am you.

Speaker 1 I am that plant. That plant is me, right? Like we have that moment of beauty and awareness.
And so. I love using breathwork for connecting to God.

Speaker 1 I love using breathwork for visualizing my next cut, my next chapter. What does my soul wanna do now? I love using breath work for having a conversation with my soul.

Speaker 1 You know, really getting, I call it soul stream, like really getting into like that energetic stream of just like purely channeling my soul and like letting my soul marinate in my entire body.

Speaker 1 And my soul's teaching my human moment by moment, day by day. I can't do that through my conscious mind, right? My parts and my pieces and my ego is in the way.

Speaker 1 But when I allow myself to use the breath, and have my soul speak to my, my, all of my parts and my inner child.

Speaker 1 And, you know, my mentor reina says there's not an inner you don't have an inner child you got an inner preschool down there you know what i'm saying right so when my soul gets to speak to all of my inner children my soul gets to speak to my human there's this beautiful dialogue and it's like i am the witness of that dialogue happening simultaneously and i'm like this is amazing.

Speaker 1 I am so multidimensional, right? There's so many things going on here. And so having that awareness that we are not just these physical bodies, we are not just this,

Speaker 1 this, you know, human with these labels. And this is what I do.
And I am the CEO of Paws Breathwork. And you know what I mean? And it's like, there's a multi-dimensionality

Speaker 1 happening moment by moment. And our presence allows us to extract that and go like, wow, I'm so amazing.
So breathwork allows us to do that. And then breathwork for intuition.
You know, it's like.

Speaker 1 In the last 90 days, it's been, I think I texted you.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm going through entrepreneurial boot camp right now because it's just been, you know, in Q4 of last year, I was like, yo, guys, this is what's happening.

Speaker 1 This is what we're doing this year. This is the vision.
This is where we're going. Like, let's go.

Speaker 1 And then I knew I was going to get content in order to evolve me into the type of human and CEO and leader that can hold the energy of what I'm calling it.

Speaker 1 I know that, but I was like, oh, it's real bumpy.

Speaker 2 Right? And so just like.

Speaker 1 The amount of decisions that I've had to make in the last 90 days have been so crazy. The caliber of decisions that I've had to make in the last 90 days,

Speaker 1 it's just been crazy. And so I've leaned on breathwork work so much to clear out any of the streams that are not pure truth and get myself to the purest truth possible that lives in my body.

Speaker 2 And that's been such a gift. This is exactly where I want to go because you and I are so, we value both entrepreneurship and spiritual awakening.
And a big part of my, I guess, 20s.

Speaker 2 20s was about using relationships as a vehicle for awakening. Yeah.
And then after that, it was about using business as a vehicle for awakening. So anything that blocks us can free us.

Speaker 2 And really, I think you and I are both about living it in a really grounded way, in a very modern way. And it's like using the things that

Speaker 2 challenge us in entrepreneurship to be like, what is this triggering inside of me? How do I get free so that I can live open-hearted and minded and be a beneficial presence in the world?

Speaker 2 And I would just love to hear your philosophy around living what's true for you in business and following your aliveness.

Speaker 1 I love this question so much. All right, so here's my frame on business.
Are you ready? Yeah. Here's my little map.
So number one, it's a spiritual assignment.

Speaker 1 My business is to evolve me. Everything that happens in the business is to point an arrow to where I get to grow, evolve, love myself deeper.
It's a spiritual assignment. Yes.

Speaker 1 Spiritual growth above everything else.

Speaker 2 That's right. That's right.

Speaker 1 I can't stress that enough.

Speaker 2 I don't think, I've never heard anyone be so blatant. And I know, I love you so much.

Speaker 2 And we resonate so deeply on this because I think if other people are putting finance or growth in terms of any kind of metrics other than that,

Speaker 1 we get in the way.

Speaker 2 We get in the way. And what's really true is like it's about awakening.
And when that's prioritized, everything else falls into place.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Every email that we get that I'm like, oh, that's not, it's not about that email.
That's right. It's not even about that client.
That's right. That's about me.
That's right.

Speaker 1 And how do I get to evolve and show up?

Speaker 1 If not, we make it about us and then we go into self-sabotage and all this weird shit happens.

Speaker 1 It is a spiritual practice, number one. Number two, it's art.
Business is art.

Speaker 1 It is your...

Speaker 1 divine intelligence expressing itself through creativity. It's artistry, right? Like right now in this beautiful set, this is your art, babe.
It's so gorgeous. I walked in here.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, I just like feel your soul in here. It's just so incredible, right?

Speaker 1 Your content, your masterclasses, your challenges, your, when you go and do a delivery class, whatever it is, it's like that is artistry

Speaker 1 through your voice, through your energy, through your love. It's like it's art in moving form.
And so, business is art, number two, number three is impact, right? Impact and contribution.

Speaker 1 How can I use this business as a vehicle to transform the world?

Speaker 1 When Pause Breathwork first came into my awareness, I was driving from LA back to San Diego, and

Speaker 1 it was when

Speaker 1 knew that something else was coming. I was getting,

Speaker 1 I wasn't getting bored with Hungry for Happiness, but because I did it for so long and I just felt complete. I was like, I'm complete with this mission now.
There's something else.

Speaker 1 And so pause came through. And I said, God, what's my next thing? And I heard, you need to teach the world to breathe.
This is 2017.

Speaker 1 And it was as clear as day as if someone was sitting in my passenger seat telling me. And I went, okay.

Speaker 1 And then right away, the voice said,

Speaker 1 it's called pause breathwork. Just so clear.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, got it.

Speaker 1 And my eyes were open, but I had, have you ever had this moment where your eyes are open, but you have a visual in your mind?

Speaker 1 It was just a very weird experience where I was driving, but there was this visual right here, as if I had like a VR headset on. And it was a globe.

Speaker 1 And on that globe, there was all of these little tiny lights.

Speaker 1 And all of those lights were a representation representation of the breath work facilitators that I was training and it just illuminated and it was just glowing and

Speaker 1 the mission just popped in like this is what it is

Speaker 1 right and I really got to feel into the impact that this company can make and what happens in someone's world and in their life when I train them and you know you can resonate with this we do similar work right it's like their life is transformed their family's life is transformed their community's life is transformed and then they get to build a business that they can help thousands of people.

Speaker 1 It's just so amazing.

Speaker 2 It's fulfilling and it's this ripple effect that keeps spreading. Yes.
Gosh,

Speaker 1 so good. And so, impact is the third thing.
You know, doing it for impact. How can we build our businesses from the lens of impact first?

Speaker 1 And then the fourth thing, which I'll get to in a second,

Speaker 1 every night growing up, my parents would cook dinner and we would sit down as a family at 6 p.m.

Speaker 1 and we would just talk. TV's off, nothing off.
And I learned more at those dinners that I ever did in school.

Speaker 1 And one of the lessons one night my dad was saying was when you focus on impact, you're never going to have to worry about money.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 When you focus on impact and service, you're never going to have to worry about money. That's right.
And that

Speaker 1 did something to me. I was like 12 or 13.
That did something.

Speaker 1 And that's been so true in my life of focus on impact. I never worry about money.
And number four, the fourth thing a business is for is income. Yeah.
But like, that's forproduct.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is the byproduct.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because money is a reflection of providing value. Yeah.
And so when we put that first, it feels good to us.

Speaker 2 We see the value that we're sharing in the world and the ripple effect that it creates. And then money is a byproduct of that.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 And also, we're in touch with the fulfillment and a depth of knowing that we're making an impact that is priceless. That is better than any amount of money.

Speaker 2 But money also gets to be a part of the equation.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then the money that you receive is just like, wow.
Yeah. It's a direct reflection of the impact that I'm making.

Speaker 1 So as my business grows and evolves and we become larger and more profitable, I'm like, this just means we are serving more and we're impacting more and that feels really good.

Speaker 1 But if you were to flip that on its head, imagine how chaotic that would be if the lens was, I need to make money, I need to make money, I need to make money, I need to make money.

Speaker 1 And we didn't, and we deprioritized the fact that it's a spiritual assignment and that came last or not at all, probably not at all. Yeah, that's that's why businesses fail.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, it's not a lack of strategy, it's the psychology of the leader. So, if we can really work on the psychology of the leader, that changes everything.

Speaker 1 This, and I love working with female founders, I love working with, I love female entrepreneurs. I think we're the, it's so amazing what we can do, right?

Speaker 1 Because our businesses inherently have a lot of heart in them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 so much, so good, and it's so aligned aligned with everything of using business as a spiritual path, putting impact first, because that's what creates the fulfillment.

Speaker 2 And there's a lot of people that do it in a way that they abandon parts of themselves, their burnout.

Speaker 2 And I do know that, you know, having grown a large company, there's a little bit of like roll up your sleeves and get down. There's like

Speaker 2 putting like the time and work in, but also building something that is sustainable that then keeps. pouring back into you and pouring back into the community.
It's like, yes, and

Speaker 2 so there are stages of entrepreneurship specifically that I just want to speak to because, and you are so beautiful.

Speaker 2 Like as soon as I was wanting to start my certification, you drove up from San Diego. You were like, this is how I do my org chart.
You were just like mapping it all out for me.

Speaker 2 So I just want to publicly acknowledge and say thank you for your generosity, for the way that you show up in service. And you live that.
You live that. And I just, we weren't even that close yet.

Speaker 2 And I just fell in love with you. It was just like, wow, you know, you just show up in the world that way.
Thanks, babe. Yeah.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 And I think people are probably hearing this being like, okay, but what about a challenge? I know that we both

Speaker 2 run towards challenges because we know that if we avoid it, we take it with us. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What was an obstacle in growing your company that was a challenge and how did you overcome it?

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. I've got 5,000.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think what would be most beneficial, I'm trying to think if I, most beneficial at this rate or when I first started for your audience, what do you think? Maybe first started. When I first started

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 1 one of the biggest challenges that I overcame when I first started my business was leadership

Speaker 1 I was a I'm a really good visionary and a really good creative but I was a terrible leader to the point where I would hire people on the team and I cared more about them approving of me and liking me than than anything else.

Speaker 1 And so I prioritized their love and friendship over them being an effective person, which is actually not loving at all. Yeah.
You know? Yeah, to you or them. Yes, yes.
And so I would hire people on.

Speaker 1 I would have a ton of generalists on my team. I'm like, don't leave because this will all fall down if you leave.
And so I over, I overcompensated. I

Speaker 1 was not in consent with myself of what was good and what was not good and what I needed and what I didn't need. I overpaid them.
I was paying people more than I was paying me. So it built resentment.

Speaker 1 And it was just a mess.

Speaker 1 And one of my mentors was like, this is not about them at all. Because I would get annoyed.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh my God, this is so annoying.

Speaker 1 And I would build resentment. I'm like, gosh, I just want to fire everyone.
This is crazy. And my mentor was like, this is not about them.

Speaker 1 This is about you and like your inability to hold boundaries and your inability to actually ask for what you want. He said, what do you want? And I'm like, I want a team of specialists.

Speaker 1 I want to become the best leader possible. I want to have clear boundaries.
I want people to have clear KPIs. I want them to know if they've had a green week or a red week.

Speaker 1 I just want to, I want things to be so clear. He goes, I need you to study leadership for a year and come back.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, a year?

Speaker 2 Like, you know, I'm like you, right?

Speaker 1 I'm like, we're going to get it done in 24 hours.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be enlightened right today.

Speaker 1 I was like, a year? I'm like, are you crazy? He gave me seven books on leadership.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I need you to read these seven books on leadership and study each of them and report back to me what you're learning and implement it.

Speaker 1 I was like, man, this is like crazier than a university degree in school.

Speaker 1 This was 20, gosh, when was this? 2018, I believe.

Speaker 1 I think so, around 2018.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I did it. I went to work and I was like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to craft myself into the greatest leader I possibly can be, being in integrity with how I want to lead, you know, and really checking in with that because that's really important to me too.

Speaker 1 But how can I take

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 what I'm naturally good at and pair it with these exceptional leadership skills and really shape myself into a leader that i would want to work for and that was the frame the entire time i like that a leader i want to work for yeah goosebumps a leader i want to work for and so i showed up every single day with that frame i want to be the type of leader that i want to work for i want to be the and i just kept you know, doing everything, every word I spoke.

Speaker 1 How would I love to be led? How would I love to be acknowledged? And I just kept, I kept that. And I do that today too.

Speaker 1 A couple weeks ago, we were at our company off-site, and my whole team was there. We were at this beautiful house in San Diego.
And I had this moment where I sat back and I was like,

Speaker 1 if I didn't own this company, I would want to work here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and that I felt so proud of that because it definitely was not the case in

Speaker 1 2017.

Speaker 2 So I hear what supported you was mentorship, taking responsibility and not looking at them, but what was coming up in me, and then educating yourself, really showing up to implement it and be willing to test it out.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, those are incredible.

Speaker 2 Exactly. I love it.
Okay, but I'm still now curious about what's your current activity. Okay, so my current one.

Speaker 1 Okay, so November 24th, I get a video from one of my top leaders, and he runs two departments. He runs our marketing and our sales, and he quit through a video.

Speaker 2 This is the marketing and sales.

Speaker 1 Marketing and sales.

Speaker 2 Yeah. On the the spot day of.

Speaker 1 On the spot.

Speaker 1 Like he gave us notice. Okay.

Speaker 2 Like, okay. But

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 sign that that was coming. No sign.
Yeah. It was just like, boom.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Every scorecard that I did with him, it's like 10 out of 10. I love working here.
I see the vision of the future. Like all of that.
And so it was shocking.

Speaker 1 You know, I remember I was, I was in Sarasota, in Florida, visiting family, and I'm at this random 24-hour fitness. And in between sets, I'm like, oh, he sent me a video.

Speaker 2 He must be saying happy Thanksgiving or whatever.

Speaker 1 And no, he definitely was not saying that. And I just bawled and I cried and I cried.
And I was like, this is

Speaker 1 so sad.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I went down the road of like, how did I not see this? And how did I fail him? And I went down that road. And that road,

Speaker 1 it wasn't particularly useful, although there could have been a few conversations that I've could have had.

Speaker 1 But a week later, I was in the shower and I just heard this like clear message, like, if something is taken away from you It is going to be replaced with something so much better, you know, this is so divine

Speaker 1 He's not it

Speaker 1 and this is beautiful like

Speaker 1 Be grateful as you're in the pain. Can you celebrate the pain as you're in it? Yeah,

Speaker 2 and I was like, okay, okay, okay

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 I underestimated the impact that that would have on my company. He was very charismatic and he's an amazing guy.
Like I genuinely love him. I love him.
It wasn't,

Speaker 1 his path was going somewhere else, but I love him. And he added so much to the company, so much culture, so much charisma.

Speaker 1 Everyone loved him, but I underestimated the impact that him leaving would have on the entire organization from a cultural point of view, from a revenue point of view, from everything.

Speaker 1 And so that was really hard as a leader of

Speaker 1 getting into high gear right away and holding the vision of.

Speaker 1 manifesting to brand new people in a very short amount of time when we're at our busiest phase ever, right?

Speaker 2 Remember, Q4, I was like, guys, here's where we're going.

Speaker 1 And so we exploded and then I lost a key member and it was wobbly. And I was, it felt, like, it was wobbly.
It just felt like the world was crumbling.

Speaker 1 And remember, number one, my business is my spiritual assignment.

Speaker 1 So what is this perfectly pointing at?

Speaker 1 What am I learning? How am I growing through this? And what do I get to do now?

Speaker 1 And I just stayed with that. I stayed with that.
And I just held the vision of I'm so excited to manifest the perfect leader for marketing and the perfect leader for sales.

Speaker 1 And now today I have those two people and I'm so grateful that that happened. You know, I'm so grateful that he gave notice.
I love him and he added so much value for the two years that he was there.

Speaker 1 And for pause to evolve into what I declared I wanted to happen, we needed a shakeup.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so again, what that's Mary Morris says, do you know Mary Morris says?

Speaker 2 I don't. Somebody just mentioned her this week to me.
She's amazing.

Speaker 1 She's amazing. And one one of her quotes is:

Speaker 1 when you claim a vision, everything that's not at the vibrational match for that vision will fall away. And you got to let it.

Speaker 1 And so that's exactly what happened in that moment as I claimed a new vision. We had to restructure so that we could build a stronger foundation for us to grow on.

Speaker 1 And that's going to keep happening in my career

Speaker 1 for as long as I desire to grow. And that day will never end until I die because I am always desiring to grow, always desiring to push that 10% limit of like, what else is possible?

Speaker 2 What else is possible, right?

Speaker 1 As it is in emotional growth and physical growth, so it is in business.

Speaker 1 How can I push 10% of my potential and see an entirely new world? Yeah. So that was the most recent one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's beautiful. It reminds me of one that was really challenging for me that I've never publicly shared.

Speaker 2 And you may have shared with you, but when we were growing our certification program, I went from like three to 33 people on my team within under three months. That was wild.
I remember.

Speaker 2 And I was like, we got, we, and I didn't know systems. I didn't know management.
I I didn't know hiring. I knew how to create an experience that changed lives and deliver online.

Speaker 2 I didn't know the back end as well. So that was an initiation for me.
And I was building the certification and I was building the team and delivering. It was all at once.
I bid off.

Speaker 2 I thought I gave myself an extra year and I just did. And I just had to run.
It was 2021, right? It was 2020. 2020.
Yeah. And I had to just roll with it.
And I decided, I was like, I need a break.

Speaker 2 So even though I didn't have the space in my calendar, I was like, I need to do this for me and my marriage. So, I went to Hawaii and I got back, and my right and left hand left the same day.

Speaker 1 I remember this.

Speaker 2 So, my left hand, like the person that was running half of my company,

Speaker 2 got the vaccine and went into early contractions. And her doctor said, no stress at all, stop working immediately.

Speaker 2 My right hand was like, with the growth of the company, with you being away, I just can't do this any longer. And I created a huge abandonment wound around that.

Speaker 2 And I, but I was asking for more, and the infrastructure needed to change. The thing that was, so I, I, you know, angels came up to support me.
Like, so many gifts happen from that.

Speaker 2 But again, it's the inner work. So if I didn't believe that something would be replacing it with something better, then I would have held on.

Speaker 2 And I'll be honest, there was a time I kept trying to make one relationship work and I was holding on.

Speaker 2 And there's so much love between that and the working relationship wasn't working and so I needed to let it go but it felt like I was remembering I was like this the way that the relationship is it was too expensive for my nervous system I was like it doesn't matter how great this is on the material it's really eating away at me and so and there's a lot of love but the the working dynamic wasn't working that one of them that left was like this is too much and I tried to make it work, but I realized

Speaker 2 that I don't have to settle.

Speaker 2 i don't settle in my relationships why would i settle in business and i was looking at myself kind of coaching myself like i would never put up with this type of relating in my personal life why am i doing this professionally i was like oh because i think this is this is the best i can get and so i let myself

Speaker 2 let that go took a lot of courage and it did replace with something better and i have an incredible team which i'm taking to bali and like it's it gets to but there's going to be ebbs and flows and so I just want to share with people because I think it's helpful to hear as we're growing.

Speaker 2 There's not a point where you're at a certain level of business that it's done. And having the inner tools is what helps us navigate it.
So it's more graceful.

Speaker 2 And we can, we, it's just easier to process when there's something that comes up.

Speaker 2 I mean, I've shared this already before, but just hearing from a girlfriend was like, I was like, and this happened and that happened. She's like, yeah, babe, that's a Tuesday.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, yes.

Speaker 2 Okay. So it's more my capacity as a leader grows.
That's a because the other, I'm taking on big challenges.

Speaker 2 Those things are going to come up, but the stability is in me, is in source, is in my spiritual leadership, not in what happens out there. Yes.
And it's a reflection of what's happening in here.

Speaker 2 And so the other kind of current thing that I'm exploring is just staying true to boundaries. That's my current edge of saying, what's my truth in this situation? I don't want to bend over backwards.

Speaker 2 Somebody just changed her hours that I work with often. And it's, you know, she's working now 7 a.m.
And my CE works, CEO works until 7 p.m. And I'm like, I can't.
I just am not willing.

Speaker 2 And so, you know,

Speaker 2 letting myself have those boundaries for the team to set up, but it's really the inner work. And so I love that you are an example of that.
I love your clear stories about that.

Speaker 2 And just to normalize, stuff's going to keep coming up in business, in relationships, and it's the tools that we have to navigate it and the deeper trust in ourselves and the true self. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That it, you know, when we're out of the mind, it's just what is, it's just the present moment and things are a lot more manageable.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. There's a frame that I love using, which is context and content.
So we have the context of business, right? So for me, my context is my business is a spiritual assignment.

Speaker 1 My context is everything is happening for me in perfect timing. My context is

Speaker 1 I am building an incredible business and nothing can stop me. My context is the only limiter is myself, right? So I'm holding these very strong contexts.

Speaker 1 Context is?

Speaker 1 I'm like, what's the plural of that?

Speaker 1 Context I.

Speaker 1 So then when the content of life arises, it's held by that context. So it metabolizes so much quicker.

Speaker 1 If my context was business is hard, or my context was making money is challenging, or my context is it should be perfect, then when content arose in my awareness, it'd be debilitating.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, I'm out. I'd bounce.

Speaker 1 So checking in with your context in relationships, in business, you know, you have so many beautiful frames when it comes to relationships.

Speaker 1 And it's been so, I actually remember literally sitting in these two chairs, you know, after Eric and I got engaged and you just supporting me so much. I love you.
And you helped me change my context.

Speaker 1 That no relationship is actually not a fairy tale all the time.

Speaker 1 And then now, because of that, when things come up in my

Speaker 1 relationship, I'm like, supposed to be there. That's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's right. It's not about if we fight, it's how we repair.
Yes.

Speaker 2 We use it to grow and evolve. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought you were saying, I love this context. It's like how you're choosing to hold it.

Speaker 2 And I thought you were going to go into context being the truth of who you are. There's awareness, there's what is, and then there's the

Speaker 2 form that changes within the context. And there's that too.
Yeah, totally. It's kind of like the chairs in the Titanic.
You know,

Speaker 2 we can change that. The Titanic is still going.

Speaker 2 So it's like... I haven't heard that analogy that's good.

Speaker 1 We're still going to hit that ice cream.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're going to die. Like the ego, the form.
And yet the context, the greater awareness of who and what we already are is unmoving, unchanging.

Speaker 2 And the more we source that, the easier the form can shift within it. And there's less gripping and attachment and fear because we're sourced to something much larger than who we think we are.

Speaker 2 So good.

Speaker 2 I love you so much. We could jam all day.
We're going to jam on your podcast. We're doing a whole day.
Tell people where they can stay in touch and what you're up to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Pause Breath Work is where you can find everything.
If you desire to become a breathwork facilitator, that's pausebreathwork.com/slash Alyssa.

Speaker 1 When you go to pausebreathwork.com/slash Alyssa, you will get a thousand dollars off the training.

Speaker 1 And we run that program evergreen. So you can literally join

Speaker 1 today if you desire.

Speaker 1 So that would be the facilitator training. If you're listening to the podcast and you're like, I just am curious about breathwork.
I just desire to breathe more.

Speaker 1 Then check out the Pause Breath Work app. Whether you have an Android or an iOS, just search Pause Breathwork and it'll come up.
There's a free 14-day trial.

Speaker 1 So you can, there's breathwork that's three minutes. If you just want like a little taster, there's breathwork that's 25 minutes, 45 minutes.

Speaker 1 Again, going back to what we shared earlier, really listening to your body and titrating it.

Speaker 1 If you are brand new to breathwork, go with those three minute ones and just feel what it feels like on your body. Like let your, let the breath just move you and just see what that feels like.

Speaker 1 And then you can kind of increase from there. And then on Instagram, at Samantha Skelly is my personal Instagram.
You can come say hi and then at pause breathwork is the company's. Amazing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I love that people do breath work even as like a simple morning ritual, part of their morning ritual. I think that's a really beautiful way to start and just test it out.

Speaker 2 See the effects of it yourself. Yeah, give it a shot.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 See what happens.

Speaker 2 I love you so much. Thank you for being here, Sam.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world, starting with yourself. It truly does make a difference.

Speaker 2 And if you're finding value in this podcast, a cost-free way to support us is by leaving an up to five-star review. It does mean the world to us.

Speaker 2 And as a thank you gift, we're going to send you one of the most powerful tools tools that you will ever discover.

Speaker 2 You're going to get behind the scenes access showing you how to live into your full potential without letting fear hold you back from stepping into your dreams.

Speaker 2 Just head over to Apple Podcast or Spotify and leave a review now. You can take a screenshot before hitting submit and then go to alistenobriga.com forward slash podcast to upload it.

Speaker 2 And make sure to have your automatic downloads turned on wherever you listen so you don't miss any of the upcoming episodes. I have so much magic.
I can't wait to share with you.

Speaker 2 And you can find all this information in the show notes below. But lastly, if you're on Instagram, I love connecting and hearing from you.
So come on over and say hello. I'm at Alyssa Nobriga.

Speaker 2 Thank you again for being here. I cannot wait to share more with you.