Zoe, PJ, and Chanel

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

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Speaker 10 Last June, Heavyweight performed a sold-out show in the Borough of Churches, Brooklyn, New York.

Speaker 10 The show was part of Gimlet Fest, a two-day podcasting festival that rivaled Woodstock 94 in terms of historic and cultural significance. If you came to that show, good for you.

Speaker 10 And if not, well, you'll have to live with that fact for the rest of your life.

Speaker 10 So please sit back, wallow in that regret, and try to enjoy this slightly edited version of Heavyweight Live.

Speaker 14 Hello? Jackie? Did you hear me out cam in the car?

Speaker 15 Yeah, it sounds like you're on a speakerphone.

Speaker 16 Oh, that's really good.

Speaker 18 So you know, I have a podcast.

Speaker 20 Do you remember the name of it?

Speaker 20 John.

Speaker 11 Yes?

Speaker 17 If it's going to be his visual. Okay, what is the name of the show?

Speaker 21 You know what?

Speaker 22 Next question.

Speaker 18 Okay, you know that the name of the show is heavyweight, right?

Speaker 23 Yes.

Speaker 18 Does that ring a bell?

Speaker 21 It rings an annoying bell, yes.

Speaker 18 What does an annoying bell sound like?

Speaker 22 You just rang it.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 17 So

Speaker 18 I am doing a live show.

Speaker 22 I don't think the visual dimension adds much.

Speaker 22 They could just look at a photograph of you and probably get the same thing.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 22 You know, I certainly hope you have a little bit of something to drink before. You tend to do much better in your live performances if you add

Speaker 25 a little something. We all know that about you.

Speaker 11 A little hooch.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I suppose.

Speaker 22 Take the edge off. Yeah.

Speaker 26 A little hooch is a part of the show business tradition. Back to the days of being crossed.

Speaker 20 Crosby.

Speaker 22 Do you consider yourself in show business?

Speaker 17 Yes, of course I do.

Speaker 17 Why is that so funny?

Speaker 27 I am in show business.

Speaker 22 I'm in show business.

Speaker 17 I mean, it's a statement of fact.

Speaker 16 I host a podcast.

Speaker 9 Is that considered show business?

Speaker 22 I just want to know: is that considered show business?

Speaker 21 Yes. And if so, why?

Speaker 22 Why?

Speaker 11 Well, I guess it's a show.

Speaker 17 Yeah, it's a show, and people are entertained by it. So

Speaker 17 I'm in show business.

Speaker 11 Nothing.

Speaker 22 I guess you are in show business.

Speaker 22 That's cute.

Speaker 22 That is very cute.

Speaker 22 All right, Johnny. Talk to you soon.

Speaker 16 Okay, you too. Bye-bye.

Speaker 28 Ladies and gentlemen, Carthen Boltzmann.

Speaker 13 CEO and Gimlet Media founder Alex Bloomberg is trotting in place beside my workstation.

Speaker 16 How do you like apples?

Speaker 31 He asks.

Speaker 15 I don't care for apples, I say.

Speaker 32 When bruised, they remind me of my mortality.

Speaker 29 When served cold, they tend to hurt my teeth. So no, Alex, I do not like apples, though I do like apple sauce.

Speaker 15 Well, how do you like these apples?

Speaker 33 He asks.

Speaker 32 Without looking away from my computer screen, I ask if these apples are sauced apples.

Speaker 32 Mr. Bloomberg thrusts a letter-pressed handbill in front of my face.

Speaker 29 It smells like the cologne department of a European duty-free.

Speaker 35 The handbill reads, Gimlet Fest.

Speaker 36 Fest, it seems, is short for Festival.

Speaker 37 Are we disarming a bomb while falling from a rooftop, Alex?

Speaker 32 Is your time so precious that you can't afford two lousy extra syllables?

Speaker 32 Of course, I say none of this out loud.

Speaker 32 The last thing I need is to be fired from podcasting and forced to recite my monologues into a CB radio while seated on the lap of some trucker named Jean-François.

Speaker 36 Mr.

Speaker 29 Bloomberg checks his Fitbit, pumps his fist thrice, and stops running.

Speaker 32 Though his brow is virtually sweatless, he wipes it with a silken kerchief and crumples the handbill into my chest.

Speaker 32 Then he asks his real question.

Speaker 29 What are you going to do for Gimlet Fest?

Speaker 32 I don't like public speaking, I say.

Speaker 32 The very thought of a live event was enough to make the borscht I'd eaten for lunch perform a slow, spiteful kazatska in my kishkas.

Speaker 38 Mr. Bloomberg laughs.

Speaker 32 You're hilarious, he says, slapping my back hard enough to make my fillings rattle and the day's borscht enter its final curtain call.

Speaker 32 For the next several months, I do nothing but worry.

Speaker 36 By day I hide out, shivering in Mr.

Speaker 13 Bloomberg's executive bathroom.

Speaker 32 By night, I sit at the kitchen table in darkness, eating unsalted peanuts and drinking bourbon.

Speaker 38 And so the days run away like wild horses at a farm wedding in upstate.

Speaker 32 I make a mental note to tweet that.

Speaker 32 And all the while I can do nothing else but think of Gimlet Fest.

Speaker 31 What will I wear?

Speaker 32 To what number will I set my beer trimmer?

Speaker 32 Come to bed, the wife cries.

Speaker 13 It's four in the morning.

Speaker 32 When sleep does come, it brings ominous dreams.

Speaker 36 In one, I hop out of a Papillé-Mâché cake onto a cool, dark stage.

Speaker 39 I am holding a ukulele.

Speaker 18 Hello, I say into the blackness.

Speaker 32 I'm certain there is an audience out there somewhere judging me. In the silence, I hear a cough, then a Werther's original slowly being unwrapped.

Speaker 32 A face emerges from the darkness. It is ABC television personality Zach Zach Braff.

Speaker 27 He informs me I've been cancelled.

Speaker 38 I awake in a cold sweat surrounded by Werther's original rappers.

Speaker 27 And for your consideration, DVDs of Alex Inc.

Speaker 38 A week before showtime, I feel my bowels quake.

Speaker 32 Had my nightly prayer for diverticulitis been answered?

Speaker 38 Dear Dear God, I intone, please give me diverticulitis so I don't have to do Gimlet Fest.

Speaker 15 But no such luck.

Speaker 13 It is only a visit from my old friend, Gas.

Speaker 27 Mere days before the event, Mr.

Speaker 32 Bloomberg corners me in the Gimlet Cat Cafe,

Speaker 32 the one on the second floor.

Speaker 37 How's that live show coming? he demands.

Speaker 38 Superb, I croak stoically, my voice cracking in three different places. Good, good, he says, taking a long drag of avocado-flavored vape.

Speaker 27 What's the run of the show?

Speaker 42 He asks.

Speaker 32 I don't know, I say, ending the charade.

Speaker 37 I have nothing planned.

Speaker 36 Mr. Bloomberg twitches violently, causing the two task monkeys carrying his e-hookah to lurch from side to side.

Speaker 27 What have you been doing with your time?

Speaker 44 he asks.

Speaker 32 The former Planet Money spokesmodel was still capable of a hard-hitting question.

Speaker 36 What had I been doing with my time?

Speaker 16 Tweeting, I say, about the festival.

Speaker 32 Let's take this to the kitchen hammocks, Mr.

Speaker 37 Bloomberg commands.

Speaker 3 Dutifully, I trail behind him.

Speaker 38 Trying not to spill his chocolate mint julep while swinging on his stomach, Mr.

Speaker 27 Bloomberg explains how Gimlet Fest is about influencing.

Speaker 39 It's about inspiring positive change, he says, while sipping from a very long straw.

Speaker 32 Oh, indubitably, I squeal, let's force-feed positivity down the throats of non-matt believers everywhere.

Speaker 32 Of course, I only squeal this to myself. The last thing I need is to be sent back to Canada to do the overnight weather report from Moose Factory, Ontario.

Speaker 35 I've been thinking a lot about engaging our brand loyalists, Alex continues, but I'm barely listening.

Speaker 41 The gentle rocking of the hammock has sent me into a reverie.

Speaker 29 When I awake, I'm alone.

Speaker 38 The office is dark, but for the muted headlamps of the task monkeys polishing Mr.

Speaker 29 Bloomberg's vape pen collection in preparation for the day ahead.

Speaker 32 Come to bed, the wife texts.

Speaker 13 It's 4 a.m.

Speaker 38 Of course, I want to help Mr.

Speaker 37 Bloomberg.

Speaker 32 I've been listening to him radio DJ on this American life since I was but a mop-headed child strapped into the back seat of Maman's minivan on on the way to curling practice.

Speaker 38 Leaving the office, I pass by his treadmill desk.

Speaker 32 He is still here, slowly trotting along.

Speaker 38 Working hard, I ask, but there is no answer.

Speaker 32 After several minutes, I realize that he has fallen into a deep sleep.

Speaker 38 Only the support of his loyal task monkeys is keeping him upright.

Speaker 13 Good night, podcast Prince, I whisper.

Speaker 41 before wandering out into the night.

Speaker 32 The night before Gimlet Fest is one of the worst of my life.

Speaker 27 How's everybody doing tonight?

Speaker 33 I practice over and over into my wife's hairbrush while staring into the bathroom mirror.

Speaker 13 How is everybody doing tonight?

Speaker 32 How is everybody doing tonight?

Speaker 15 Go to bed, the wife cries.

Speaker 13 It's four in the morning.

Speaker 33 But I can't.

Speaker 32 I know that if I can just nail my opening line, everything else will fall into place. The audience will applaud.

Speaker 36 Mr.

Speaker 27 Bloomberg will sign sign my paycheck, and my infant son will start calling me Dada instead of ha ha.

Speaker 38 And so I practice.

Speaker 32 How's everybody doing tonight?

Speaker 32 How is everybody doing

Speaker 29 tonight?

Speaker 32 And then it comes to me: How's everybody doing this evening?

Speaker 32 So, how's everybody doing this evening?

Speaker 9 Hello, Jonathan Goldstein.

Speaker 32 That's my human beatboxer, Devin, and this is my co-host and producer, Khalila Holt.

Speaker 32 Hello.

Speaker 46 Do you want to tell these people what we're going to do?

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 32 So tonight, the theme of this evening is

Speaker 3 Killed Stories.

Speaker 13 And so we were going to play for you some of the stories or clips of the stories that didn't make it onto the air.

Speaker 12 And also we're going to have some guests, some special guests, and they're going to be human beatboxed onto the stage.

Speaker 46 Are you suggesting that I should be human beatboxing?

Speaker 30 Yeah, would you like to be human beatboxed onto the stage?

Speaker 49 Not particularly, but I will.

Speaker 48 I think you're gonna like it more than you anticipate.

Speaker 30 You're gonna find it very enlivening. I did.

Speaker 42 Do we call it human beatboxing or do we just call it beatboxing?

Speaker 29 He's human, and

Speaker 30 he's beatboxing, so.

Speaker 3 How'd you like that?

Speaker 9 It was okay.

Speaker 30 It makes me so happy.

Speaker 41 Devin, come out here. I'm sorry.

Speaker 30 I want to tell you, I want to thank you again.

Speaker 47 I want to tell you a story about how my interest in human beatboxing came about. You're familiar with the Fat Boys?

Speaker 11 I am, yeah.

Speaker 12 So, I really liked the Fat Boys as a child, and I would try to human beatbox myself.

Speaker 24 And I wasn't good at it, and I started to feel chest pains,

Speaker 14 and my parents had to take me to the Jewish General ER in Montreal, and the doctor in the ER told me that I had given myself these chest pains from the beatboxing that I did.

Speaker 3 Is that a peril of...

Speaker 50 It can happen.

Speaker 42 Yeah, it definitely seems to have happened. Yeah.

Speaker 36 So I had to stop doing it.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Well, I think

Speaker 42 I think anybody can beatbox. So I think if you push through the pain,

Speaker 42 yeah, one day you could get there. Can we hear just like a little something? Yeah, can we hear just a tiny little

Speaker 50 here? I'll set you up.

Speaker 43 I know you're patronizing me, but I still like it.

Speaker 5 You can leave the stage now.

Speaker 46 I think it's time to introduce our first special guest.

Speaker 46 You

Speaker 46 know her from the social security number 823-63-8297

Speaker 46 or from her work on Planet Money and This American Life. Ladies and gentlemen, Zoe Chase.

Speaker 36 Devin, bring Zoe to the stage.

Speaker 36 Zoe!

Speaker 36 Chase!

Speaker 47 Huh? How was that?

Speaker 30 Why? Have you ever been human beatboxed onto a stage?

Speaker 3 Nope.

Speaker 39 It's pretty nice. You get used to it.

Speaker 11 Oh, yeah? Yeah, you can't live without it.

Speaker 51 It's hard to imagine.

Speaker 16 Hi.

Speaker 16 Hi.

Speaker 49 So, okay, so we're going to talk about killed stories.

Speaker 23 And at your prompting, we're going to talk about a killed story of mine.

Speaker 52 And I know that it made an impact on a young Zoe Chase.

Speaker 52 And this is a story that almost, almost got killed when I was working as a producer at This American Life many, many years ago.

Speaker 52 And during that time, there were so many of my stories that were getting killed all the time. But this is one

Speaker 40 that somehow evaded death

Speaker 52 barely.

Speaker 52 And you wanted to talk about it.

Speaker 51 Yeah, no, this story is the the reason that I started working in radio.

Speaker 12 You're talking about the Little Mermaid story, right?

Speaker 51 You guys know that story, right?

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 17 So this is a story.

Speaker 39 I would call my friend Josh up on the phone just because I thought he was very funny.

Speaker 24 And I was always looking for a way to get him on This American Life.

Speaker 45 And because

Speaker 12 This American Life is all about storytelling,

Speaker 12 Ira would always say, you have to, your friend Josh has to have a story.

Speaker 39 And he'd tell me stories and they would go nowhere. They'd be stupid and then this was one of those stories that he told me, but it just happened to actually

Speaker 47 turn into something

Speaker 29 You know, I think we just happened to have a clip

Speaker 53 There was this guy named Fred, okay,

Speaker 53 and he got this message.

Speaker 21 Well,

Speaker 53 his mother left him a message on his answering machine, okay, and he forwarded it to I don't know, maybe one or more of his friends, and they forwarded this message across campus to everyone, okay?

Speaker 53 So you want to hear the message?

Speaker 9 Mm-hmm. All right.

Speaker 53 So, he prefaced it by saying,

Speaker 53 I do not have the message. I have the message in my head.

Speaker 27 I'm telling you a story.

Speaker 53 So, the message, he prefaced it by some kind of sad little lead-in. In a little voice, he was like, I think you'd appreciate hearing this message from my mother, okay?

Speaker 53 And then the message played, this was the entirety of the message, and I'm going to do the voice for you as best I can.

Speaker 28 You ready? Yeah.

Speaker 9 All right.

Speaker 49 Oh, sorry, more background.

Speaker 53 He apparently, he had had a hard, he was not a hit with the ladies, Fred. Okay, that's this is what I was led to understand.

Speaker 54 Okay, I'm not sure if this is true or not. Okay.

Speaker 53 But he had managed to score a date to go see the little mermaid of all movies.

Speaker 49 The little mermaid.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 53 So this is the message his own mother, his blood relation, leaves for him.

Speaker 25 And I quote him.

Speaker 49 You and the little mermaid can both go f yourselves.

Speaker 53 The books you wanted, they're not here.

Speaker 49 They must be in La Jolla. I'm not going to wait upon my few.
Goodbye.

Speaker 53 That's the entirety of it, all right?

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 41 That's a message that his mother left him. That's correct.

Speaker 53 You catch that part? You and the little mermaid can both go f yourselves.

Speaker 53 I love you, son.

Speaker 28 Okay?

Speaker 9 That's gold.

Speaker 31 So that, yeah, that's how it starts. That's the best.

Speaker 51 It's so, the reason why was because I wasn't in radio and I was just living in Philadelphia and I was very lonely and I heard this story.

Speaker 51 Somebody said, like, listen to these things, these streaming MP3s, whatever. And so I listened to this and I was like,

Speaker 51 that's it?

Speaker 51 Like, you can just talk to your friends about being in college. Evidently.
And it's so funny. And it's like, that's all.
And you're on the radio. Like, that's so, that's easy.

Speaker 51 that's the best thing I'm glad it didn't seem like hard no because then you'd be like I can never do this I'm not gonna get into radio and you wouldn't be here so I'm glad yeah that's true um yeah so so I just wanted to say that like

Speaker 51 what I tried to do still tried to do in radio is like I have funny friends and I'm like you should be on the radio telling your story. And I'm going to do it like

Speaker 51 Jonathan and Josh.

Speaker 51 It's going to be a whole thing it's just gonna be like a conversation that kind of unfolds naturally and it's funny and then it'll kind of morph into a this American life story and that that's been my plan for a really long time and now I work at this American life and I still can't get my friend Lynn's on the radio

Speaker 51 like I try I like beg her to let me record her and I lie to her that I'm not going to use it, that that's not the plan.

Speaker 51 And now she's a very tense, serious immigration lawyer. So she has a lot of stories that are relevant to the current moment.

Speaker 51 Stories that she thinks aren't appropriate to tell on the radio because they're about her clients. But like, I don't see it that way.

Speaker 51 You know?

Speaker 23 We have a clip.

Speaker 46 Uh-huh. I just so happen to have a clip.

Speaker 51 And I'm going to record you.

Speaker 51 No, but then I'll remember it better. No, you can't.
First of all, I can't even tell you about about it because it's a client, so I'm not supposed to give you...

Speaker 9 But then I'll remember it better, right? Staff me.

Speaker 46 I see you like every day.

Speaker 42 That's like all the time.

Speaker 11 So that...

Speaker 54 It's like every day.

Speaker 29 You still, that is still something that you want to do.

Speaker 51 Yeah, man.

Speaker 51 Somehow, the way that you interviewed your friends on this American life

Speaker 51 like decades and decades ago, you know, long, long ago.

Speaker 45 It's a long time ago.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 51 It's like the best radio ever.

Speaker 56 You know,

Speaker 26 it's funny to me to hear you say that because you do all of these like serious, important political stories for this American life.

Speaker 52 And I feel like I'm just making like knock-knock jokes on the radio.

Speaker 56 And to me, the irony has always been that I'm not an easy laugh.

Speaker 52 And that's been a problem for me in broadcasting because laughing can say so much.

Speaker 52 Like when you're interviewing someone, a a laugh can feel like, you know, like a warm arm around the shoulder and let the person know that you're enjoying them and it gives them confidence.

Speaker 52 And I'm not much of a laugher, and

Speaker 18 I've suffered for that.

Speaker 52 But having my close friends to do stories with, people who legitimately make me laugh, make me a better broadcaster than I naturally am.

Speaker 46 Should we introduce another person who makes you laugh?

Speaker 5 Yes, please.

Speaker 56 Zoe, you're going to stick around, right? You don't have to go anyplace yet, right?

Speaker 51 No, I have nothing going on.

Speaker 9 Okay, great.

Speaker 46 Previously, the host of It Was Too Long and So I Didn't Read It,

Speaker 46 he now hosts the show Reply All with Alex Goldman. He has a small dog which once peed on Alex Bloomberg's desk.
PJ vote, everyone.

Speaker 5 PJ vote.

Speaker 5 PJ vote.

Speaker 30 You just received the human beatboxing of a lifetime, my friend.

Speaker 23 How'd that feel?

Speaker 31 It felt like three different stress dreams that I had happening in real life at the same time.

Speaker 19 Now, PJ,

Speaker 30 so when I was figuring out heavyweight, I was talking to you a lot.

Speaker 27 You were still sort of figuring out, like, what is the show? Yes.

Speaker 39 And at the time, it was sort of about, it had to do with this idea that, like, every, the irony of living in society was that everybody knows something about you that you just can't figure out about yourself.

Speaker 39 Right?

Speaker 14 Like the ultimate irony is how one cannot know oneself, just as a knife cannot cut itself, or a fire cannot burn itself.

Speaker 11 A human being cannot really know itself.

Speaker 46 I think a fire can burn itself.

Speaker 11 Anyway,

Speaker 45 I was getting poetical, all right?

Speaker 27 Anyway, so the idea was a little broader than heavyweight.

Speaker 18 It was just sort of like, I'm going to help people figure out things that they can't figure about themselves.

Speaker 57 I think that's why you were calling it Jonathan Goldstein medicine woman.

Speaker 39 That was my wife's idea.

Speaker 30 That was Emily's idea.

Speaker 45 Jonathan Goldstein medicine woman.

Speaker 32 And so you came to me with a particular problem, which was.

Speaker 57 I've been told or hinted at on more than one occasion that there was something about my face that was like inherently punchable.

Speaker 17 That you had a punchable face.

Speaker 57 I had a punchable face.

Speaker 11 Right.

Speaker 37 And.

Speaker 50 I'm sorry, I can just like literally just feel a bunch of people looking at my face, like sizing up.

Speaker 23 It does not feel good.

Speaker 11 Sorry.

Speaker 39 And how is it that you described what makes a punchable face?

Speaker 60 I think that

Speaker 60 people see like either a...

Speaker 57 I think there's like a, you can have it. There's a couple of kinds, but one is like a kind of inherent smugness, and one is a sort of dopiness.
And if you have both of them, I think that's like.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 24 So I wanted to make PJ, I wanted to eradicate that, really.

Speaker 19 I don't think it's true, but any of that. But anyway,

Speaker 39 and I was re-listening to the tape, and so much of it was making me wish that we had actually been able to do this story.

Speaker 12 You describe yourself as a kid wearing like bifocals or something and like a skin-tight white turtleneck with Hawaiian punch stains all over it.

Speaker 45 And I was like heartbreaking.

Speaker 23 Anyway, so I set out

Speaker 39 and I talked to your friends I talked to

Speaker 39 former employers I talked I really covered a lot of bases I don't know we ever talked about this I'm not not not in detail okay so at one point so desperate I was to find because I it wasn't the problem with the story was that In the end, people didn't really think you had a punchable face.

Speaker 23 And so I felt desperate.

Speaker 59 I felt like, well, I've got to find people that think he has a punchable face.

Speaker 23 And so I went to a place where I thought

Speaker 59 people would be most inclined to want to punch you in the face. So I went to a boxing gym.

Speaker 18 And I carried with me a framed photograph

Speaker 39 of you to really get them riled up, to kind of bait them.

Speaker 30 And so this is tape of me talking to some of the boxers.

Speaker 38 As a boxer, do you think that this guy has

Speaker 58 a punchable face? No. Does he seem like he has a punchable face? No.

Speaker 58 Do you think that he has a punchable face?

Speaker 28 No. Nope.
No.

Speaker 58 No, I do not think he has a punchable face. Looks like a very talented, strong young man.

Speaker 50 You know, social, outgoing kind of person? I mean, he looks friendly, looks smiling right now.

Speaker 15 How would you want to punch him?

Speaker 8 Why would you say he has a punchable face?

Speaker 50 I think sometimes

Speaker 58 people have felt like because he seems so smiley.

Speaker 8 There's no reason to be punched in the face just for being happy.

Speaker 50 Who is this guy?

Speaker 58 He's a friend of ours. His name is PJ.

Speaker 42 Yeah, well, you know, PJ, I don't know why people have been telling you that.

Speaker 53 Maybe you have to work on your attitude, guy, but

Speaker 53 you don't look punchable, man.

Speaker 50 All right, PJ, wherever you are, P.

Speaker 56 So that was it.

Speaker 36 You didn't have a punchable face.

Speaker 38 They're applauding for you for not having a punchable face.

Speaker 60 I'm honestly surprised at how hard it is to get boxers to say that they want to punch somebody.

Speaker 17 I know.

Speaker 23 We have a photograph of the photograph that I brought into the boxing gym.

Speaker 3 PJ, I'll ask you to describe it.

Speaker 50 I feel like this goes against everything that you've said.

Speaker 60 Just a ninny with a stupid, punchable face.

Speaker 18 No, no, that's not true.

Speaker 57 It's like the smile is like, I think I'm better than you, but also worse.

Speaker 30 But like you're standing on a yacht or something.

Speaker 50 I'm standing on a building.

Speaker 34 A balcony.

Speaker 11 And if you're wearing...

Speaker 11 I'm lying yacht more.

Speaker 17 If you're wearing a watch, like, who do you think you are?

Speaker 36 Anyway, not a punchable face, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 6 Oh, PJ,

Speaker 10 you crack me up.

Speaker 10 Anywho, we've got to take a short break.

Speaker 13 And when we come back, you'll hear the shortest heavyweight story ever made.

Speaker 10 But first, some important words from some very important sponsors.

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Speaker 59 This next killed story.

Speaker 46 This was something that we really liked and it worked out really well and it totally fit the form of the show, but it was just really short.

Speaker 16 It worked out too well.

Speaker 39 It all came together in just a few minutes.

Speaker 46 But so we made it into an animated video

Speaker 46 for all of you here at the Heavyweight Live show.

Speaker 29 For your viewing enjoyment.

Speaker 46 And we will play it now.

Speaker 18 Chanel comes from a family that has a hard time saying, I love you.

Speaker 26 They hardly ever say it.

Speaker 55 Actually, not really

Speaker 28 at all.

Speaker 55 It's like there's a death in the family or,

Speaker 55 I mean, yeah, mostly if there's a death in the family.

Speaker 34 You've preserved the power of the words in a way.

Speaker 20 I mean, to me, it's just like, I might as well just be saying, okay, f off.

Speaker 6 I'll be back later.

Speaker 23 I love you.

Speaker 20 There was a moment when Chanel almost said it.

Speaker 18 She was going through a hard time, and her mom had come to stay with her in Brooklyn.

Speaker 26 Chanel wanted to say, I love you, just as her mom was about to leave.

Speaker 55 I've been dropping her off at Penn Station. You know, we sat there until she had to go and she starts walking away and this is weird.
I like started crying, like bawling in the middle of Penn Station.

Speaker 55 You know, nobody cares because there's like a thousand people in Penn Station. I'm right near like the switchboard where it tells you the times.
So people are just like staring at that.

Speaker 55 And she turns around and she gets this weird look on her face and she turns back around. She has to keep going.
She's in line.

Speaker 55 And the whole whole time i was like oh my gosh i wish i had like told her how much she means to me in that moment and like how she came at the perfect time and did all these things for me and i'm like why can't i say i love you to her

Speaker 55 so when when was the last time that you told your mother that you loved her i don't remember that's a long time

Speaker 45 And this is why I've invited Chanel here today, to help create a safe place for her heart to speak its truth, and to not allow her or her heart to leave that safe place until it happens.

Speaker 23 Do you think there's a way to say it where it was sort of like you were clearing away the space?

Speaker 55 Yeah, I think I would have to follow up with like a, I really mean it. I love you, mom, and I really mean it.
I'm not trying to joke with you.

Speaker 55 I think because I'm uncomfortable, I'm like, it's going to show.

Speaker 20 Maybe not everything's supposed to be comfortable.

Speaker 5 That's true.

Speaker 55 But I have to, I have to like have a reason to call her, right? I can't just be like, hey, mom, I love you.

Speaker 11 Okay, bye.

Speaker 20 You know, there's this song that comes to mind, an obscure little ditty by a performer named Stevie Wonder.

Speaker 44 I don't know if you're familiar with him.

Speaker 17 No, I don't. Yes.
The song is, I just call it to say I love you.

Speaker 20 How does a song go?

Speaker 26 I just call it to say I love you.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 20 And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Speaker 18 What about a sign-off?

Speaker 6 Like, okay, love you.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 20 You want to get the pronoun in there. You want to get the I in there.

Speaker 23 You want me to say it for you?

Speaker 50 She'll be like, what?

Speaker 40 It's like it's a hostage situation. She'll be like, who is that?

Speaker 14 I'm going to send Chanel's pinky toe just to let you know that she's fine.

Speaker 11 She's fine.

Speaker 55 I mean, she's not already afraid enough, but I live in a city alone.

Speaker 11 Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 56 I wanted to say it, and I'm saying it now.

Speaker 5 Yeah. No?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 55 She's at work, but she always calls me when I'm at work, so it's probably fine.

Speaker 38 Does she pick up and say,

Speaker 44 She'll probably say Simon, Richter, and Taft's law firm. I don't know.

Speaker 55 She'll be like, what do you want, Missy?

Speaker 55 Okay, should I do it?

Speaker 11 Am I doing it now?

Speaker 22 Okay.

Speaker 31 Here we go. Okay.

Speaker 51 Answer the phone.

Speaker 22 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 55 Hi, mom.

Speaker 22 What do you want? What's up?

Speaker 55 I. Okay, you remember that time when you came to visit?

Speaker 11 Me? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 55 And then you were at the train station and I started crying.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Well, in that moment, I really wanted to tell you how much you meant to me and

Speaker 55 that

Speaker 55 you helped a lot that week because I was like emotionally distraught. And you cooked me all those meals, and you were there, and you watched Transparent Season Two with me, and it was great.

Speaker 55 And I just want to tell you that I love you a lot.

Speaker 22 What was you distraught about?

Speaker 28 Does it matter what I was distraught about?

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 11 Why are you?

Speaker 55 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 55 What matters is I love you.

Speaker 22 I know that, Shabani.

Speaker 9 Uh-oh.

Speaker 22 Okay, wait a minute.

Speaker 25 What's something wrong?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 55 Nothing's wrong.

Speaker 22 You sure?

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 22 Okay, that was really sweet of you, Chanel.

Speaker 11 Wow.

Speaker 55 Wow, mom. This is so sentimental.

Speaker 22 Well, don't be crying. Don't get me teary-eyed.
I'm still at work walking the hallways

Speaker 22 trying to get my steps on ready.

Speaker 22 But you know, me and Ma love you too. Your mom loves you too.

Speaker 22 Really?

Speaker 22 Mm-hmm. Okay.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 9 All right. I'll talk to you.

Speaker 22 All right. Okay.
Bye.

Speaker 9 Bye.

Speaker 12 I'd like to ask Chanel and her mom, Marilyn, to stand up.

Speaker 30 I think you guys are supposed to be here, yeah.

Speaker 9 All right. Yeah.

Speaker 36 And with that, I think

Speaker 15 we draw our show to a close on a positive note.

Speaker 3 I would like to introduce to the stage Matt Boll, who's going to play us out.

Speaker 30 and Devin Gwynn is going to be accompanying him with some human beatboxing.

Speaker 30 Now that the furniture's returning to its goodwill home

Speaker 30 Dishes in last week's papers, rumors and elections, crosswording on a new home

Speaker 5 The black in our fingers smear their prints on every door put shut

Speaker 5 Now that the last month's month's rent is scheming with the damage deposit, take this moment to decide. Sun and empty room.

Speaker 11 If we meant it, if we tried, sun and empty room.

Speaker 28 Felt around from far too much.

Speaker 28 Things that accidentally touched. Sun and empty room.

Speaker 43 Heavyweight is hosted and produced by me, Jonathan Goldstein, along with Stevie Lane, Peter Bresnan, and Khalila Khalila Holt.

Speaker 43 Editing by Jorge Just. Special thanks to Zoe Chase

Speaker 35 and PJ Vogt

Speaker 37 and Jackie Cohen.

Speaker 43 Animation by Arthur Jones with music by Christine Fellows and Blue Dot Sessions. Audio mixing by Emma Munger.

Speaker 43 Our theme song is by the Weaker Thans courtesy of Epitaph Records and was performed by Matthew Bold.

Speaker 58 With beatboxing by Devin Gwynn.

Speaker 43 Thank you live studio audience for coming out tonight. Give yourselves a big heavyweight round of applause.

Speaker 35 Good night.

Speaker 35 sun and into you Watch the shadows cross the floor

Speaker 35 Sun and tonight Won't be here at once

Speaker 35 to you

Speaker 35 Sun and tonight

Speaker 35 Sun and

Speaker 10 Thanks, Jonathan.

Speaker 10 Great show.

Speaker 10 Before we go, we also want to thank Julian Kwisneski and Bay Area Sound for mixing this episode. Special thanks also to Joshua Carpati, Chris Neary, and Victoria Barner.

Speaker 10 If you want to hear the little mermaid story that Jonathan produced at This American Life, you can find it at thisamericanlife.org.

Speaker 10 And if you want to see the animated video that we made to accompany Chanel's story, you can find it on our YouTube channel, youtube.com/slash gimletmedia. Again, that's youtube.com slash gimletmedia.

Speaker 10 We'll be back with a brand new episode of Heavyweight next week.

Speaker 61 Why are TSA rules so confusing?

Speaker 9 You got a hoodie, you want to take it off!

Speaker 23 I'm Manny. I'm Noah.
This is Devin.

Speaker 61 And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming?

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Speaker 40 You know, lock him up.

Speaker 61 Listen to No Such Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 7 No such thing.

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Speaker 28 Serve a drink?

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Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.