NFL Week 5 Power Rankings + MNF Double-Header Recap

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All right, Mark Sessler.

Two games to talk about on Monday night.

I don't want to talk about the Jets, but we will.

And I feel like I'm going to get pumped up.

But the power rankings.

That's what's going to bring me inner peace because Power Rankings Week five also on the horizon.

Yeah, that second game nearly killed me and others, many others.

But the power rankings each week bring life.

Where does your team fall?

Stay right there.

Heeding that call.

Heyo, welcome to Heed the Call, an NFL podcast.

Dan Hands is here with Mark Sessler, Justin Graver on the ones and twos,

the Monday night show.

The power ranking show.

That's coming up at the bottom of the hour.

Bottom of the hour.

I like saying that.

Never said that before.

Into a microphone.

Felt good.

Felt right.

Get you caught up on the news in and around the league.

But Mark,

we have two Monday night football games to discuss first.

I'd call one of them a game, but technically, yes, these were official regular season affairs.

Yeah, I guess let's start with a game that was at least somewhat

competitive, but no less

disappointing, I guess, depending on where you come from.

You know,

I am

so sick of this, Mark.

I'm so.

You know, it would be really good if this podcast had

like a season where the Jets weren't a huge embarrassing failure.

Imagine if there's one year where that actually wasn't the case.

I was thinking about that.

I'm not even looking for that, honestly.

Like, you know what I was looking for?

Earlier today,

my wife's out of town on business.

It's just me and the boys, and the boys are at a nice age now.

Jack's 11, Harrison's going to be 9 next month, where we can start to enjoy things,

like father-son type stuff.

And the nature of our job is on Sundays, we're very busy, and the boys are very busy with different travel baseball and soccer and all this other stuff that's going on in life at this time.

But here's a Monday night where the Jets are playing the Dolphins, the windless dolphins, a 4 p.m.

L.A.

kickoff.

No after-school activities.

Mom's not even around.

It's just me, dad, the boys, and the dog.

So I put on my Jets, pull over.

And Jack puts on his Jets shirt, and Harry puts on his Garrett Wilson jersey.

And all you want,

I was like thinking to myself, you know what would be cool?

Just win this game.

Win this game.

The team's bad.

It's not going to mean anything, but win this game.

And then I'll have a fun time with my sons watching the game,

some cool football plays.

We'll do a podcast.

And I won't make, I'll promise myself I won't make too much of it because you beat the Dolphins.

But you know what?

Oh,

let's do a heed the call podcast where it's not talking about how terrible the Jets Jets are for once.

Yeah, because I feel like, and,

you know, we all root for teams on this show that are

problematic in terms of creating happiness.

But I think I could create a top 10 list of like

Sundays where you had to come in and host like a 98-minute long show and the Jets had just broken your heart for like the 400th time.

And it's like the Jets

generationally do not like to do anything but upset because your children are seeing it through you and your dad, you saw it through your dad.

We're going back to the 60s here.

They've ruined 15 years.

They've ruined a generation of football for people that follow this team.

And, you know, I've said on this show before, like, I really want to be able to watch the Jets win a Super Bowl, you know, with my dad while we're on the earth together, right?

I'm starting to think that's way too lofty a goal.

Like, what about getting back to the playoffs?

What about a winning record?

I mean, where are we?

Because this game,

which, you know, pay no mind to the final score,

which was, what, 27 to 21 Dolphins.

This was an embarrassment.

Like, what was the worst part of this game as a Jets fan?

Was it

going right down the field on their first drive and then fumbling on the one-yard line?

Hmm.

Okay.

Could it be then the defense coming out on the field after that fumble and giving up a 96-yard touchdown drive off that fumble?

Hmm.

All right.

All right.

How about the $100 million cornerback Sauce Gardner not being in man coverage on Tyreek Hill as he's going up and down the field before his terrible injury?

Hmm, that was bad.

How about the fourth and goal touchdown to Darren Waller?

Darren Waller?

The guy from

the media symposium that we led that had his head down at the table?

Well, he was meant to be here instead, but yeah.

He's mossing Sauce Gardner in the back of the end zone on fourth and goal.

How about a second Darren Waller touchdown?

A second one?

How about

you get a field goal at the end of the half?

You know, God bless Nick Folk.

Somehow that old man pipes one from 58.

Then you get the ball to start the second half, and then you fumble it away.

How about three fumbles lost against a team that had not had a turnover, created a turnover in Miami the entire season.

How about 12 penalties for 101 yards?

How about now zero force turnovers by the Jets in four games?

How about

how about calling?

How about calling for a fair catch at your own three-yard line?

That was rich.

A few months back, during the best time on the Jets calendar, usually around the spring or the winter when there's a new hire and there's this idea that things aren't going to be so bad anymore, Aaron Glenn stepped in front of the podium and said this:

We're the freaking New York Jets, so we're built for this shit.

And Aaron Glenn was close, but not quite.

You're not built for this shit.

You are shit.

The New York Jets are shit, Generationally shit.

And I'm so sick of them dragging us fans through the mud of their BS year after year after year after year after year after year after year after year.

Taking away countless moments I should be having with my sons.

With my father, with my brother, with my friends.

All of it wiped away.

You are shit.

What are you going to do about it?

Aaron Glenn, who are you going to cut now?

At what point does this stop and we stop being the embarrassment of football?

Because if you can't do it against the shitty Miami Dolphins, if you can't find a way not to embarrass yourself, where are the wins on this schedule?

And if it's true, I have someone that's very plugged in in the NFL who I sent out a sad text last week during the Jets' last huge embarrassing failure.

And he says, you know, buckle up because I think you're going to be right back into that three years and start over at coach and GM.

I was like, wait, you're not in on this regime?

And he just kind of

said, nah.

So that's where we're at?

I don't know, Mark.

And Dolphins fans piped down.

You got a nice win today, and we're going to talk about it.

But I just, I cannot, I cannot keep doing this.

Mark, help me.

I do feel in a therapeutic angle so far on this show.

I enjoyed your vulnerability.

Look, like you've been bleeding.

I mean, I feel like I've heard speeches like this before because they keep recreating this in your life.

Can I offer one like

possible

counter to some of this in terms of it, the house burning down right now?

Because sure, it's very fair just to say this will be another three-year regime where it's hope then it's concern then it's disaster you're one two three

I think I think it you like it's not for once because you you've been patient but I wouldn't I would not

steer this off ship right now for a while I still believe in Aaron Glenn and I grant on a granular level tonight if they if you removed that the penalties have got to get fixed number one you're gonna you're you're killing yourselves and you don't have the firepower or the skill to do it um the turnovers, these things happen, but they happen

in a huge rash right there and put you out of the game.

I also see,

you know, it's not perfect, but I see an offense that dropped 400 yards and nearly 200 yards on the ground and could have run.

Now, this is not a great Dolphins defense, and they made them look like too good of a defense, but you do have stars on this team.

Garrett Wilson made one of the catches of the entire season.

I thought

Fields showed what he can do against a versatile defense.

That's all I'm going to say: is is like

you got to wait, but it's very frustrating.

You're coming from an emotional, and I don't mean that in a negative way, but like you're coming from an angle of like, I can't take any more of this.

I get it.

But you don't really have a choice.

You know, who can't take any more of this, I'm sure?

Garrett Wilson.

Garrett Wilson deserves better.

Garrett Wilson is a brilliant.

uh wide receiver and you saw it again with that great catch at the end of the game too little too late but it's not his fault i think justin fields has although he made mistakes in this game justin fields also had that brilliant touchdown touchdown run.

I mean, he is

doing his part.

It's really the Steve Wilkes.

I mean, if there's

a watch-on for a defensive coordinator, I mean, Steve Wilkes has been a disaster.

The Jets is the worst Jets defense I've ever seen.

And you say this team has stars?

Show me the stars outside of Garrett Wilson because I know Sauce Gardner has the name brand and I know he's got the payday, but this guy doesn't make any plays.

He doesn't make plays.

Quinnen Williams, was he on the field today?

Well, he's a star.

Was he not on the field, but that's, that's a huge

play.

They need these guys to be present and to be the top three players on the team.

And it's like, man, it's like

you, they are an example of people saying, oh, turnovers are all luck.

It's not all luck.

It's scheme that you could create through scheme things that could muddy a quarterback's thinking, confuse a quarterback where he puts balls up for grabs.

You could tackle in ways that creates fumbles.

You could have people in your secondary that are ball hawks that know how to attack and grab.

Just have none of that.

They don't have a single playmaker on their defense.

Aaron Glenn, there was a report, Rich Samini, said he could hear Aaron Glenn screaming through a wall at his team afterwards.

Here's the question to Sauce Gardner.

We were sitting in the press room.

We couldn't help but overhear Aaron after the game.

It was pretty sound.

He was pretty nice to me guys.

His voice was so loud.

What was the message?

I don't remember exactly what the message was, but word for word.

But

I'm just saying 304 and it's not okay.

By the way, that's Sauce Gardner, who is not a team captain.

And I'm not just, I'm not piling on the guy, but you know what?

I don't want to hear the highest paid player on the team saying, I don't know quite what his message was.

It's not the...

He said it 10 minutes ago.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't frame that and put it on a teenager's wall to inspire them to wake up in the morning.

Your head coach, after you became

the,

he is now,

Aaron Glenn is in the company of Lou Holtz, an all-time famous failure at the NFL level as a head coach before he had success in college.

And Adam Gace is the only other Jets head coaches to start 0-4.

The team has regressed from week one.

He goes in the locker room, closes the door, and unloads on you, and you don't even remember what he said.

And maybe he's trying to be diplomatic.

He doesn't want to say it to the media, but that's not how you say it either.

And maybe that's why he doesn't have the captain patch.

Let's spin to the Dolphins side because the Dolphins do deserve their flowers.

The Dolphins did play.

And as they're imperfect, the Dolphins, they'll continue to be imperfect, but they're better than the Jets right now.

I thought the offensive line protected Tua very well in this game.

They ran the ball well when they wanted to.

It's really, it's sad what happened with Tyreek Hill.

He's not my favorite player.

He's nobody's favorite player, but you never want to see a situation, Mark, what happened where he makes a catch, he goes out of bounds.

and I don't know, God, don't get me started on this night, having a deal with that booth, that ESPN2 booth,

they don't even see that Tyreek Hill's knee and leg is pointing in the wrong direction.

Everyone in the country sees it before that this booth sees it, and he's at a hospital right now with what's already been labeled a dislocated knee, and we know what that means, probably major ligament damage, and all of a sudden his career is in some level of death.

That's a really sad, sad thing.

So that marred an otherwise very good night for Miami.

I think it's the kind of injury that

shakes up the league and it

leads to a lot of questions because you're right.

I think you're rushed to the hospital because there's nerve damage.

We are not seeing you again anytime soon.

I think it's the end of his career with the Dolphins.

He was clearly like the number one whispered about trade candidate a month plus now from now.

That's obviously off the board for Miami.

But beyond that,

I just wonder if we'll ever see him again.

I don't know.

that is a rot, that's a different injury than a lot of these other ones.

And, like, what I was reading about it was really gruesome.

And, of course, it looked that way.

And so, I did appreciate his

when he's being carted off.

Like, I don't know exactly what he was feeling inside.

And there's a lot of people trying to express that it was something that it's not, like, I think, but he was thank, he was just thanking the fans.

Like, you might know in your head, like, I'm never going to be on a cart in this stadium ever again.

Yeah, I'm glad you pointed that out because it wasn't your typical

temperament for someone that just suffered a ghastly catastrophic leg injury.

This is a guy who's his entire career, his Hall of Fame career, has been built on the magic in his legs and now

on one fateful tackle,

he'll never be the same guy.

I mean, this is a player who's, you know, he'll be 32 next year.

And so you hope that the damage in the knee isn't as serious as it appears.

But yeah, his season is almost certainly over.

And then you wonder about the long term.

And, you know,

the other sad part of it was he looked great in this game.

He looked like Tyreek Hill.

And obviously, the Dolphins aren't going anywhere.

It really did feel like there was a very good chance he was going to get moved, and that was going to add some juice at the trade deadline.

Obviously, that's off the table as well.

Was there anything else from this game that you wanted to share?

Well, there was the moment

that we're all kind of like, you know, when you watch the Dolphins, that Tua takes off and takes a massive shot from the Jets.

Is it Kiko Mawawa?

Like, who is, Tua is like his hero.

And he got a massive unnecessary roughness for shooting him in the ground.

And it was like, everyone just pauses, and Tua just jumps up and is in great spirits.

So I don't know.

Yeah, that was good.

It feels like a lot of this in these games, you know?

I mean, you know what else I didn't need on top of everything else with the Jets just officiating was brutal.

Like, that was the right call.

That was the right call.

But I thought it was very ticky tack.

Garrett Wilson had another beautiful touchdown catch that they called offensive pass interference on.

Like, remember what Devontae Adams did last week with the Rams?

This wasn't even half that.

It was a tiny little push-off.

Should have been a touchdown.

The game's a different game if he makes that catch.

Then there's two shots that Justin Fields takes.

One is when he's five yards out of bounds and he gets a tackle.

It's just like everyone knows that certain guys get officiated differently.

Justin Fields is not one of those guys that gets a call late in the game.

The Jets tight end gets like a warrior wallop, the old ultimate warrior finishing maneuver while he was on the ground for like three seconds.

No flags.

Like, what do we, are we just, is this, is the goal here to make me walk into the Pacific Ocean?

Is that what this has become?

Yes, I think that someone behind the scenes is pushing for that.

We are not, but that's probably what you're probably close.

And I thank you, the listener, for dealing with this.

And trust me, like this being a recurring theme on our show for 14 straight years is not my idea of a good time either.

Like I would love a change to the narrative, but there's something that the most important party involved here, the actual New York Jets, refuse.

So that's that.

Let's move to the second game.

My God.

The second game was like one of the worst football games in a long time on television.

Wow.

I mean, whoa.

Whoa, but you know what?

If you're the Denver Broncos, you don't care.

You don't care if it was filled with penalties.

Let me just see it.

Let me see what was going on on the penalty side.

It is ghastly.

18 accepted penalties between the two teams for over 130 yards.

It just felt like the game could not get into any flow, but there wasn't much of a game anyway.

Broncos 28, Cincinnati Bengals 3.

The Bengals are just lost at sea without Joe Burrow.

We knew it was going to be a challenge, but I don't think anybody thought it was this bad.

And the Broncos roll up 512 yards to 159, Cesi, for Cincinnati.

And I think the most telling stat was that the

Bengals had more penalties, like I said, 12 or 11, than first downs in this game, nine.

Whoa.

There was a drive where

I believe they had four or five pre-snap penalties on the same drive.

I mean, you could tell early, because, you know, they're coming off the 48 to 10 lashing a week ago.

What is this team?

How will they respond?

And they come out tonight and get absolutely whipped.

And I kind of just look at them this way.

It's like, we get it.

You know, Joe Burrow, it's going to be much harder, 10 times harder on everyone.

They were as quarterback reliant as any team beyond the Bills, right?

And when you lose a quarterback, like, I feel like teams can survive.

Like they kind of did with Browning a couple years ago, but they were different.

Like with a dominant defense, maybe you can win a couple games, right?

Maybe with like a competent backup quarterback who genuinely has seen defenses and has experience.

Maybe with a offensive line that can create a powerful ground game to balance out the fact that you have that quarterback or coaching from head to toe.

And the Bengals

don't have that organizationally.

Like when you lose Burrow, and we saw what Burrow did do last year, it's like the floor is going to fall out.

And they've been outscored 76 to 13 over the past two games.

Oh, I mean, I think if anything, this underlines once again, and this is a hollow victory, but like Joe Burrow is the most important player, the most valuable player in the entire NFL.

The fact that he's been able to keep this trash barge afloat and make them a contender and drag them to winning records.

He got them to a Super Bowl one year.

I mean, this...

This is life without Joe Burrow when Jake Browning is not able to get in sync with his two star-wide receivers.

And you saw there was a moment that the cameras caught that

Jamar Chase, very frustrated in this one probably you know not quite as frustrated as like jamar chase fantasy owners who needed like i don't know 10 points to win their matchup and they thought they had in their back pocket and then he drops a five for 23 on eight targets oh my god uh t higgins three for 32 in this game uh they just they cannot move the ball and you see jamar chase kind of come up to Zach Taylor, who's looking out over the field.

And I'm sure it wasn't the most pleasant conversation.

But I know, and I know knives are sharpened for Zach Taylor all the time, and I don't need to defend Zach Taylor because I don't have a strong take in it either.

I think he's right in the middle of the pack.

He's right there, right around the Dalton line for head coaches to me.

But what is he supposed to do about this?

I mean, he didn't build the roster, right?

He's nothing he could do about the Joe Burrow situation.

This is just not a good football team as presently constituted.

And going to Denver to face what I think is a good Broncos team that's pissed off after two gnarly losses.

This was never a good setup.

I feel like I should have locked this game, even though I got my lock this week anyway.

But like, this never felt like a good spot for Cincinnati.

And sure enough, it wasn't.

But this is one of the most uneven, lopsided games you're going to see really ever.

I mean,

this was

when you would play for the little brown jug in high school, and it was like one team's loaded with seniors, and the other team has a bunch of freshmen and upperclassmens that should be on the JV team.

That's what this felt like we were watching.

Yeah, I mean, and the Bengals want so hard to impress everyone that it looked that way.

And yet last week they lost 48 to 10, a franchise worse defeat.

So,

I mean, they really have fallen apart.

And Denver was the right team tonight to take care of that.

They had J.K.

Dobbins really pound them on the ground.

That defense is so wanting in Cincinnati right now.

And I thought Bo Nicks, like, there's been fair questions about the play of Bo Nix in the passing game.

And along with Cortland Sutton and a few others, like Nick's clearly had his best game.

I example it with the drive right before the half, where it's 14 to three, and they march down on a nine-play, 80-yard drive in 101, and the Cortland Sutton touchdown caps it.

It's like he was in complete command, and it's kind of what we saw a year ago, and able to handle that game situation.

It makes you think a little bit, made me think differently about what

the Broncos might be warming into.

I can't quite get there.

This is is one of those games where, of course, you're supposed to do your business here, but I can't wait till next week when they go to Philadelphia to face the Eagles.

I'll be nice.

There's always the next week because it's like the better game is coming a week for now here.

Right.

This is the game that they were going to win, and they were probably going to.

This is a good like pick-me-up for your spirits and for confidence.

And Bo Nick's as an example.

But Nick's also had, you know, a pretty ugly end zone interception that was like, okay, there's that guy too that Sean Payton still has to rein in or figure out.

But he had a number of great throws in this game as well.

I like Nicks a lot more than, you know, I feel like the football cognizant

isn't huge on Knicks, but I think he really has a lot of upside, and his stats would have even been better.

I mean, they, what, five to one outgained their opponent?

They had like three or four drops right there.

Well, that's been a problem for them all year.

So it could have been even, even worse.

So yeah, that will be very good.

That will be a good measuring stick game against the defending champions.

All right.

Oh, by the way,

here's what I love.

You know, we love Buck and Aikman.

Oh, yeah.

The best thing about Buck and Aikman in the year of our Lord 2025 is they're untouchable.

They're kind of an old school,

it's something that doesn't really exist anymore, I feel like, in the modern landscape.

It's like the equivalent of the rat pack, like Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin doing a primetime special on CBS and knowing we can say whatever the hell we want.

And there's literally nothing a suit can do about it because we are who we are.

Buck knows who he is.

He's like the definitive play-by-play man

in the industry.

And Aikman knows he's beyond reproach.

So when they decide to absolutely undress a football game for being a poor product of the league, they do not hold back.

They do not suffer fools.

And it's very refreshing.

Coming up on Sports Center after the game on espn we will visit with cortland sutton had the big touchdown

all access in the winning locker room that'll be denver and of course look forward to talking with uh you and troy joe i bet bet troy's psyched to continue the conversation about this one

yes we have plenty to talk about can't wait

because that's after he said this in the game and this is what you're referring to dan this is what i love right here yeah the product just not very good i'm gonna be honest just not very good.

I mean, this is ridiculous.

They don't.

And you know what?

Nobody, there's no, like, there are people in the truck and there are their executives over in Bristol that aren't thrilled about the dialogue that kind of peppered throughout that telecast, and nobody's going to say anything to them because they're the rat pack.

Can't say anything to the rat pack of the booth in the NFL.

All right, let's take a break.

We'll do some quick news and then we will dig into the power rankings.

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All right, welcome back.

Remember, we're two days away.

We set a goal, Ceci,

to the audience.

People,

whether you watch the show on YouTube or if you're more an audio listener and you check in occasionally on the video show, we're trying to get to 25,000 subscribers by our Wednesday end around show.

We're doing okay, but

we need a strong close here.

So

if you haven't already,

you know what?

I'm not going to ask because, Mark, you're a more sympathetic figure.

Can you take the mic and implore our audience to get us to the number that we asked for?

Just don't make us look bad.

I shall.

I shall.

Exactly.

We're in it together.

35,000 in anything is not inachievable with as many as there are of you.

And when I set a goal, I like for other people to achieve it.

So let's do A and B and let's meet it by Wednesday.

Let's get out of our beds, okay?

Go open the door, find your laptop or your phone, add us, tell your friends, tell adults who don't even know about us.

Just do it and get it done.

I don't care who it is at this point.

I can't track that.

Let's go.

All right, now, Justin, you be the reporter and you ask me what Mark said to the audience to get them pumped up.

Yeah, question for Dan.

What was it that Mark said to the audience that got them pumped up?

I'm not really sure what he said,

but

you know, we just gotta

hit that number.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

It's a star cornerback.

Good grief.

You wonder why you don't have the patch.

That's why you don't have the patch.

Good way to bring it around, though.

That was.

I don't really know.

Come on, man.

Let's distance this.

And, you know, but

yeah, I mean, so it

again,

all right, we'll get back to Sirianni when he

figures out what the fk he's saying.

Let's start with the 49ers.

49ers, man, they have problems.

49ers, they get Brock Purdy back in week four for their home game against the Jaguars, and Purdy doesn't play at a very high level.

The offense scuffles, and they lose the game.

And then on Sunday night, I believe it's Sunday night.

It was either Sunday night or Monday morning, Purdy calls up Shanahan and tells his coach, that toe that cost me, you know, to sit out games is hurting me again.

And I don't know what this means.

And to top it off, they're on a short week, they got this TNF matchup against, of course, the Rams.

So, like, one of the biggest games of the season.

So, Purdy, once again, is his status is in doubt, and we might get some more Mac Jones,

which you love.

So you got to see that coming down the highway.

Gravy.

And

also Juwan Jennings, who got all sorts of beat up in that game.

He's got an ankle and a rib injury.

We don't know if he's going to play.

Ricky Pearsall, he might have a PCL injury in that knee.

So he's

banged up.

They're all listed as DNP at practice on Monday.

I mean,

this is the case for Thursday night football not being a great great thing because this is going to impact the product, Mark.

Like,

this would be a really fun Thursday night game.

And who knows?

The way these Thursday night games are almost suspiciously close every week now, these primetime games, maybe it ends up being a barn burner, but they're going into a street fight with a pea shooter right now, potentially.

Yeah, the problem with Thursday is most teams don't even have like a physical practice.

Like you do a walkthrough, and you'd still have another two or three days of treatment for guys that are on the fringe, like a, you know, maybe a Juwan Jennings, maybe.

But like at this point, you're playing with guys like Demarcus Robinson and Kendrick Bourne.

And it was just when Purdy rose up, he was playing with Debo Samuel, Brandon Ayuk, and George Kittle.

Like none of those names are around.

And it's like, I like Juwan Jennings a lot.

That guy is...

a dog, but Ricky Pearsel also.

So it's the new wave, but you don't have anyone.

You got nothing around you.

And I'd also say that like the world of leaning on this season, Christian McCaffrey, is simply not a reality.

He's just not been that guy this year.

And it's easier to plan for him when you don't have to look at what was in the years past, three to four starry type players around your Brock Purdy quarterback.

No Kittle,

no Bosa,

maybe no Purdy, you know, maybe no Piercell.

By the way, I missed when you used to say Pyrrhusol.

I missed when you said Pyrrhus.

You used to say Pyrrhusol.

I missed that.

Bring it back.

I don't think bringing it back does a lot for me.

Two things I want to bring back in 2025.

The Dean Scream, obviously.

Yeah.

And Pyrrhusol.

But yeah, Brendan Ayuk's not coming back anytime soon.

We don't even know if we'll have Jennings, so could be major problems.

Speaking of the 49ers, week six doesn't get much easier.

They get the Bucs.

That game has been flexed into the late window game of the week, I suppose.

Fox and Patriot Saints is getting bumped into the early window.

But, you know, that feels wise in terms of television habits.

I mean, depending on what version of the 49ers, who's available for that team.

Yikes.

It's a problem.

I'm curious where they are in the power rankings

for the group.

They're a tough one, but I do think Shanahan is probably like, if I could ever beat McVay in this situation, In his world, it's as big of a deal as it gets in the regular season.

Like, he's got to beat.

I mean, how pissed is he that this is the version of his team that's going to be going up against his arch arch rival?

It's happened before to him, but not to this degree.

Like, this is cutting.

I bet all those Super Bowls he lost, I bet he's wishing he had one of those now because it's feeling like it's getting further away, not closer.

If you know what I'm saying, drifting.

Let's stay on the Niners for a minute.

We were into the Robert Salah, Liam Cohen fight.

I just, by the way, Liam Cohen, we didn't talk about this.

If Robert Sala and Liam Cohen actually got into an actual fight, Cohen would be turned into tuna fish.

I mean, I, yeah, I think that's probably true of

almost any head coach that I could think of in the next three minutes.

Salah could take care of it.

I wouldn't want to see that.

I don't think Liam Cohen wanted to see it either.

It was like big talk, big talk, and other guys are dragging us away from each other.

Yeah,

there was another angle of the interaction.

Do we have that, Justin?

Or am I narrating this?

How am I playing this?

Oh, Cohen.

Hey, coach

keep your name out of my mouth sala i'll your world up you don't want to with me i will what did he say end your life did he say

whoa i will end your

life

wait wait wait hang on a second

news i did not realize that bob sala

yeah i'm tom brokoff he's coming back now

Niners defensive coordinator threatens life of Jaguars head coach.

Bob might get just fine for that.

I don't, I think you're not allowed to do it.

I mean, in an NFL where we are fining players for doing like throat gestures and like stepping over, like Iversoning over opponents and silly stuff like that

in the name of sportsmanship, I feel like the DC threatening the life of the opponent head coach probably deserves a FedEx,

a FedEx package or a FedEx envelope.

I'm not saying I would do it, but if you're going to set a standard of cleaning up the game and sportsmanship,

I'm going to kill you, motherfucker is something you probably want to legislate out of the game.

Yeah, because this bubbled up into the consciousness, and it's like

it seems a little odd to ignore this.

I also think it's like coach on coach, and these guys are just like meatheads to some degree.

I don't mean they're not meatheads, they're incredibly driven and smart and obsessive, but like, this is like you taught, you wouldn't have a problem like in a scuffle talking to someone this way as a coach so I kind of want to just say life goes on but if you're the NFL like if someone

makes the point you just made like and is really serious about it then the NFL probably has to leave also like Liam Cohen can you throw that throw that clip up how many people are standing between Cohen and Robert Salah when he says to Salah keep your name keep my name out of your mouth like one two three four five six smart

including multiple linemen I mean that's why it seems a little WWE-ish to me.

But just like Cohen's out of his, like, well beyond his weight class on this one.

And in general, I don't know if you noticed this.

I think Will Smith obviously is the one that brought it to the highest levels of culture in terms of notoriety.

Keep your name out your fing mouth.

At the Oscars.

Wow, dude.

Like, it was a G.I.

Jane jump.

Keep my wife's name out your f ⁇ ing mouth.

I'm going to.

I still can't believe that happened.

Isn't that crazy that that happened?

That's Dan at the El Segundo Tavern.

But that is like, that's the 2020s version of like trying to take someone's manhood is keep my name out of your mouth.

It's like, it's like trying to take a ownership over of your own, the other person's agency.

And that is, those are fighting words in the 2020s.

It's not, it's...

So Cohen dropping that on Salah, you know.

Anyway, you want to hear Shanahan's?

We've already talked about this too long, but let's hear Shanahan, his thoughts on his DC and the Jags coach getting after it.

Aftergame, William and Salah were exchanging words.

Are you surprised that, I assume over signs dealing, are you surprised that Cohen maybe wasn't thrilled about that?

No, try to clear it up, but I don't know.

I didn't see what happened, so I'm not sure.

Don't think you should be that sensitive about it, but it is what it is, not to worry about it.

Kyle's like, like, man, do you know how much shit I'm dealing with?

Like, I am this close from like

calling up like the local high school's JV team to fill in on

my roster here.

You think I'm going to get involved with this?

Malarkey.

There was

a combine we went to where you and I.

got pulled into what was a very private party with a couple of coaching staffs.

And oh, yes.

Right.

And we were, you just find your way into conversations with people you'd never talked to or you were people are overhearing things.

And

one of the leaders of one of the coaching staffs looked at one of the leaders of the other coaching staff and was basically

full-on hatred.

Full-on hatred.

Full-on hatred.

And doing that thing like he was going, look, he keeps looking over here.

Oh, he keeps looking over here.

And somehow, I think it was, I don't think I'm telling tales out of school.

I think Rapsheet, Rapsheet, because it was always good to go out with Rapsheet, because Rapsheet knows everybody.

So then Rapsheet pulls you in to these circles.

And then these guys, especially, I mean, listen, we're all, the good thing of the fun thing about these trips

is we're not that different at the end of the day.

Like the people that cover the game, we just love the sport and we love to talk about it and we love to throw back some drinks together.

And these coaches are like the same thing.

There were jocks that love football and they love to have drinks and get together and socialize.

So when you get into the right, you know, bar or steakhouse,

things start flying.

Like, it's one of the cooler things about

our time in NFL, especially when you were kind of right in the middle of all that stuff.

So the fact that you and I were in this small circle and it was like these two prominent coaches

just mean-mugging from across the way.

Yes, I remember that very well.

You know, there was one other weird interaction.

I was annoyed I missed this because this was my game.

I had drafted this game on Sunday.

It was Bears, Raiders.

And,

you know, I've been on record on this show, Mark, about the superfluousness of the halftime interview coming out, going into the tunnel and coming out of the tunnel of the sideline reporters.

And I'm all for speaking of media solidarity.

I want everybody to have a job.

I want everybody to get paid.

So Adita Kinkabwala, our former NFL media employee, was involved with this, but also who's the dude that looked at Catalan, the American psycho guy.

Like,

I want Catalan getting his paycheck.

Who's the lady that with all the crazy outfits that we loved last year?

Laura Oakman, Laura Oakman.

Oakman.

Love Oakman in a big spot.

She went to a different

she got home, but I liked her.

I like her anyway.

We still want to have her have a job in that industry, though, Justin.

Somebody got after me on social media because we played a clip on the Sunday show of Pam Oliver, the legend, interviewing a player on the sideline.

And we didn't identify that Pam had gotten the quote.

I want Pam getting paid.

All long way to say,

I want everyone to get paid, but I also would love as a viewer of the game for these interviews to ever have something interesting because it's usually canned answers or no answer at all and just like a word salad so the coach can escape to the locker room or onto the sideline.

Here was an interaction that kind of went a little bit sideways, as I understand it, between Adidi and Ben Johnson of the Chicago Bears.

Your offense has struggled to take advantage of those takeaways.

Yeah.

Okay, so what did you tell them to get things going?

That it wasn't our brand of football.

We're capable of a lot more.

And so we're hitting the reset button here at halftime.

And we're going to come back and establish our identity here in the second half.

So you need to change what you're doing.

I don't know.

You think so?

We're going to be just fine.

I mean, not terrible, but I don't think Ben, the tone, and we, and we love Adidi, and Adidi's like somebody.

We've like known her for 12, 15 years.

Adidi is not afraid to get in there and ask the questions that need to be asked and

hold eye contact while she does it,

put it that way.

So that was a nice little moment.

And Ben in that moment, I guess, and in the heat of the moment, I give him a little pass here.

I guess felt a little challenged by her, by just the sharpness of her tone there.

Anyway, I enjoyed it.

But then Ben was asked about it on Monday at the Bears Complex.

Let's listen in.

And, Ben, you know, if you cared to address this, I know there's been some buzz about your halftime exchange.

Can you

pause it for a second?

How you interpreted that?

You're watching this on conversation.

First of all, click subscribe.

Anyone else a little bit like, I don't know, scared of Ben Johnson?

Well, I think

I would get in there in a second after this, but yeah, like there's a reason.

Yeah.

There's an intensity to his gaze.

Like,

he got some like

mean dad energy, or

maybe like

domineering boyfriend.

I think he's a football psycho, and there is kind of one, there's not many different speeds, and I think that's what he's learning with these.

This and the thing we just watched, like, you've got to be almost outside of your psychotic body.

I truly think he is an obsessive psycho.

Right.

If you like it to use the like a stick shift analogy, sometimes you got to like

jack it back and go into a lower gear.

You know what I mean?

Just

not quite there.

Right.

All right.

Let's hear his.

Because I mean, I feel like, you remember in Ghostbusters 2 when the painting is staring like right through?

Who was the guy?

I don't know.

Who knows?

That was a dopey movie, but it scared the hell out of me.

The painting that came to life in Ghostbusters 2, I think Vigo.

Yeah.

He looks like Vigo.

Justin just threw his hands up.

He's like, shit, I'm going to have to find this

1980s pop culture reference.

Damn it.

Let's add it to the to-do list.

Let's check out Vigo.

I mean, Ben Johnson.

Yeah, you know, in the moment, I honestly, I didn't think too much of it.

I'm kind of in.

in game mode.

But then when I look back at it, you know, I am a little bit

disappointed with what that looks like.

You know, I didn't hear very well, and that's not an excuse.

But when I thought I heard that

it was not a question, but that I needed to make some changes, I didn't take that very well.

So I'll do a better job with those going forward.

That's a tough job, man.

Yep.

It is a lot of pressure.

I mean, head coach is

under a lot of pressure.

Ben, I'm a little intimidated by him.

He's a little scary.

Glad he's not my dad.

Probably a great dad.

I'm going to give him a pass.

And Adid never changed.

It's funny to me because at the end he says, I'll do a better job with those going forward.

And to me, it's like, you know, first-time head coach.

It's probably, there's a million billion things when you take the job that you got to figure out how you're going to do this, how you're going to do that.

It's the last thing you think about is how you're going to conduct yourself during these stupid, useless halftime interviews.

So, to hear him be like, I'll do a better job with those going forward is almost like this is only his fourth game as a head coach.

Yeah, to kind of land the plane on this, it's to my point, really, because what he hasn't learned is that he needs to make this as useless as possible.

It cannot generate a headline, he can't say anything of interest about the actual strategy or any changes they're going to make.

He needs to figure out how to deliver a 30-second answer that says nothing.

And when that's the goal, when that's and that's what he's talking about with the media training team at the Bears

at some point this week, like

if that's what they're trained to do, and like I watched Pete Carroll do, and he did a masterful job as an example, someone who's done 100,000 of these.

Like, if that's what these guys are trained to do, at what point do you ask the question, do we need this?

Do we need this?

The only thing I'd say for them, because I'm not hiring him,

I agree that the halftime interview in the larger scheme of our universe is fluffy.

It's part of all this and it's it's probably getting some middle manager or producers, you know, jobs themselves, which we say they want.

But I think for the challenge, because if you're Ben Johnson, I hired you to come and reinvent our offense and grow our quarterbacks.

So this is this side part of it.

And some of the coaches, I think Ben Johnson's the right example, this is a struggle for him.

Like Marv Levy, not a struggle, right?

Like other people just can do it.

Like it's just easy for them and they like that part of it.

But if you hate it, it's going to be something you have to overcome.

And Ben Johnson Johnson learned that very quickly.

Let's circle back to Nick Siriani.

Let's see if he's pulled it together.

He was asked about A.J.

Brown, his unhappy wide receiver, and whether there's problems in paradise for the defending champion Eagles.

Nick, I'm sure you saw the AJ post on social media where he quoted scripture and said, if you're not welcomed, not listened to quietly, withdraw, don't make a scene, shrug your shoulders, and be on your way.

Is it your understanding that AJ still wants to be here?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, obviously AJ is very important to this football team.

You know, I know he wants to contribute.

I know he wants to contribute and, you know, do the things that he's capable of doing.

And, you know, but

yeah, I mean, so it

Again, he wants to contribute into these wins.

And he's had a couple games where he hasn't been able to

for different reasons of why we haven't

in these games.

But

I question nothing about

his desire to play great football, his desire of being a good teammate, his desire to be here.

Okay.

Hey, listen.

Just as a sidebar on this one, Mark,

this is on my radar in sports.

The mean man and the dumb coach won't throw me the the football enough.

We're quoting scripture.

That's what, that's, that's what we're using the good book for.

Well, I mean, that's, I think with athletes, that's been going on for since the beginning of athletes, but

what a weird team.

They're like, what, 20 and one in their last so many games?

And you're still having to answer questions like this.

And like, there's the offense is creating disturbances and problems.

But A.J.

Brown, who has been all I hear is a pretty good teammate, but I'm with you because you're creating mystery and like we're all talking about it.

And what does it mean?

What does it mean to your locker room?

I don't know.

It's I don't know.

Maybe it's not a big, not about football at all.

I'm sure it is, but like

this is why it's hard to win back-to-back Super Bowls.

Uh, with uh success comes a bunch of other stuff that makes it makes it difficult to keep your eye on the ball.

So that's a challenge for Nick Siriani.

But as I've been told by many people on the internet, Nick Siriani is Bill Belichick

plus George Hallis plus Vince Lombardi with a neckbeard.

So they'll be fine.

People on the internet

they get the vibe of this and so I would take their counsel.

Okay, ba ba ba ba ba injuries real quick.

Yes, Malik neighbors indeed

sadly tore his ACL.

He'll need surgery.

Once the swelling goes down, he is out for the season.

So the Giants coming off their first one of the season will go the rest of the way without their star wide receiver.

Rapsheet reports that Chargers left tackle Joe Ault indeed diagnosed with a high ankle sprain, and it's not a good one.

He's expected to miss several weeks.

I wonder if he's a candidate for IR.

That would knock him out for four weeks, but it sounds like that's going to be tough.

The Chargers are going through it now.

It's one thing to lose Slater, but now you lost your two dynamic edge blockers,

and that's not even the only injuries they're dealing with.

So let's see if they can keep Justin Herbert healthy.

Brian Schottenheimer said CeDe Lamb, who has a high ankle sprain himself, is, quote, trending in the right direction.

Currently, no plans to place him on IR.

We won't see him next week against the Jets,

but they're not going to need him anyway.

George Pickens, fire him up.

Start him everywhere.

They'll have 28 points by halftime against that Jets secondary.

The Ravens got bad news on Namde Matabuke.

That neck injury, that's it.

They shut him down.

He's out for the rest of the season, and that's just the start of it.

Linebacker at Oquan Smith diagnosed with grade two hamstring strain.

He'll miss, quote, a few weeks.

Cornerback Marlon Humphrey, his calf injury is expected to cost him, quote, a couple of weeks.

Quarterback Lamar Jackson, status unknown, week five versus Houston.

But we're edging into

not must-win territory for the one and three Ravens, but they can't just keep losing.

So, yeah, without Lamar, this is going to be a very tall task, even with the underwhelming Houston Texans up next.

You know, they're two-thirds of their team, and even much more than that if they don't have Lamar, but

the AFC is Niners, essentially.

I mean, they're just banged up all over the place, but it has completely compromised their defense.

And

I just don't know how to view them right now because if you were sitting there with three wins at the moment and these injuries struck, it's like survive.

But a lot of these are not survivable.

Save that for the power rankings conversation.

And lastly, one of the easiest jobs in the sport right now is punter of the Buffalo Bills.

They don't really punt, but poor Cameron Johnston, he did have to punt at one point in their win over the Saints.

And

man, this is a great photo of Bill Burr.

No, that is not Bill Burr.

That's Sean McDermott.

No, that is not Sean McDermott.

That is Cameron Johnson, the punter, who suffered a lower leg injury on a collision.

He's expected to miss some time.

He might go to the IR.

We'll see, but Buffalo needs another punter.

They need somebody to punt the ball three times over the next four weeks.

Sure.

Well, it's still.

I'll do it.

It is a job.

That would be an extremely large and muscle-bound Bill Burr.

I think he looks like him from the neck up, but having met Bill Burr,

you know, he's not, he doesn't look like some of our NFL punters of the day that are now six foot.

Can we cut that and send it to Bill Burr so Bill Burr can just do like one of his Bill Burr 14-minute rants just about Sessler, just trashing Mark for like making fun of his body.

Body shape.

Well,

I am not throwing stones at glass houses, but I'm just saying that that

we've seen punters up close and say, oh, they're not 5'4 ⁇ and 112 pounds.

They're men.

They're masculine.

They're powerful machines.

All right, let's take a break and then, yeah, power ranking.

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All right, welcome back.

I love it.

Power Rankings week five.

You know, ever since

Farbuck got after us, Ken Farbuck of the International International Power Rankings Alliance.

Farbuck, Farbuck.

You know, I thank him, honestly, and

I'll send him a Christmas card as I do every year, and I'll make sure to write a note that I think that was exactly what we needed.

Some of us, to

take the project more seriously, to put a little more thought into it,

to not embarrass ourselves.

The number one, according to Dan, hands us power rankings today.

Thank you, Paul Rudd.

So here we are.

We're on a good roll.

Last couple weeks, I thought have been the best power rankings in the business, and I want to keep it that way.

So without further ado, as we do every week, we break it into four tiers.

Let's start with tier one.

All right, so the Eagles, let's start with the Eagles real quick.

I know we just talked about the Eagles, so let's not dwell on it, but I said it myself that I always keep the defending champion

at number one until they lose a game.

And sure enough, the Eagles are 4-0.

Do I think they're actually the best team in the league?

I'm struggling with that a little bit right now.

Just, you know, when something about

the

offense having negative one yards in the second half of a game and some of the nature of these wins, it makes me wonder if the Eagles are more vulnerable than

perhaps their record indicates.

But you know what?

I'm not going to change it now.

It just did cross my mind, Ceci.

They seem a little Teflon in the sense that through all these problems, they keep finding a way just to win games.

And that speaks to me about who they've been for a long time now.

If you go look at advanced metrics and stuff, and we don't focus on that, I'm focusing on the team and what I see just in terms of who they are.

But

they are not considered a very good team for obvious reasons on their offense right now.

There's other teams much higher, but I'm not going to stick them down at four or five to be edgy.

They're my number one team.

No, yeah.

And I think they're, I agree with you that

the truly great teams can, and especially the ones that are champions,

they can put out little fires and keep moving on and survive games they're not supposed to win, but just make that big play.

And they've been doing that.

And it either means they have become a Teflon team and they're just a battle-hardened champion, or they've been living a little too close to the sun, and a slump could be on the way.

They have a nice matchup we mentioned.

They got the Broncos

in week five, and then they got the Giants twice in three weeks, sandwiched by a trip to Minnesota against, who knows, a quarterback.

Maybe a showdown with old friend Carson Wentz.

So the schedule isn't overly imposing.

So we'll see where they're at.

The Bills, they stay at number two.

I have them at three because I have the Lions at two, but you guys all have the Lions at three.

So that's the way it works out.

So Eagles, Bills, Lions, one, two, three.

The Rams are up three spots to number four after their narrow win over the Colts at home.

We did a nice job with the Chiefs.

We didn't overreact and bury them a week ago, which made us look good because after they hammer the Ravens, we can move them up.

Not from, you know, bad.

Here's an example, Ceci.

People that don't know what they're doing with power rankings dropped the Chiefs all the way into the teens last week.

And then they go and they beat the hell out of the Ravens, and now they're scrambling to move the Chiefs back into the top 10 or even the top five.

We don't have to do that because we were watching the Chiefs and understand that even when they weren't winning, they weren't that far away from putting it together.

So we move them up four spots.

Yes.

Thank you again, Paul Rudd.

So, but that's not just me, that's us.

We all did a good job with that.

On this first wave right here, I've got to say, and I hope it's not like just all of us constantly talking to each other, but there's a lot of party line agreeance, or at least three out of four party line on almost this entire top 10.

First here.

So the Seahawks, welcome to the party, Mark and Justin.

You now see what Connor and I did weeks ago, that the Seattle Seahawks are a very good team.

We have them at seven, six, six, and eight collectively.

So they up seven spots to number six.

Now, are the Seahawks the sixth best team in football?

I don't know.

But then check out who's behind them.

The Packers.

The Packers are at number seven.

I kept them at six.

I didn't move them after their 40-40 tie with the Cowboys.

Sessler is feeling a little butthurt about the Packers not making them look so cool anymore, so he's got them all the way down to nine.

Shut up.

Connor is connoring it.

He's got him out of the top 10 entirely.

And me and Justin are in lockstep.

Yeah, Mark, I see what you're doing here.

Are you trying to softly distance yourself from the Packers now?

It has a little bit more to do with me thinking differently about the Rams, Chiefs, and Seahawks over the past week and what they're becoming.

And yeah, I'm a little freaked by the Packers.

They're 2-2, and they just gave up 40 points.

They also scored 40 points.

It is maybe not even your fault.

One of my favorite moments of the year so far is when on the Sunday flagship show two weeks ago, like Connor stopped things down to throw the celebration party for Russell Wilson and the Green Bay Packers and Mark and Connor individually, and nothing has gone right for either for any days later.

Lightning strikes.

A dark lightning.

That's football, man.

That's sports.

All right, the Chargers, they fall three spots

after they lose to the Giants.

So they stay in the first tier, though.

Tier two.

Tier two.

Tier two is fine.

You're okay with being in tier two at this time of the year.

You can move up.

The Buccaneers, they could not find a way to get past the Eagles.

They drop one spot in our power rankings.

Mark's still feeling hot about him.

He's got him at seven,

but I have him at 10.

Justin's got him at 10.

Connor at eight.

The Colts, here we go.

The Colts lose.

I figured this would happen because I did it myself.

The Colts lose in Los Angeles, but they move up two spots because I think if you watch the game, you're thinking to yourself, oh, okay.

So it's not just that they were beating bad teams.

They've now, they shocked the Broncos and then they nearly beat the Rams.

A.D.

Mitchell is the only reason they're not undefeated still.

So they move two spots up to top 10, yes?

No, I just said hook'em for A.D.

Mitchell.

Hook'em.

Is that the number one person they want to be associated with right now?

There's not a lot of,

I mean,

no.

Okay, let's look at the Ravens.

So there's reason to be worried about the Ravens, right?

So they're down seven spots.

They're one and three.

They just got curb stomped by the Chiefs.

Their defense is in absolute tatters.

Mark, you have them all the way at 15.

I know you love to stick it to the Ravens, so I get that.

The rest of us have them at 12, 13, and 11.

They're at 11 in our aggregate.

Mean, average, average, mode.

I don't know.

Number 12,

and mean, which are the same.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

The commanders, we're all kind of in lockstep on this one.

Sessler's a little further down, but like,

who knows what to make sense of the commanders right now?

Like, you could drop them further if you want, but, you know, like, why?

None of the injuries are long-term injuries.

Like, McLaurin and Daniels could be back.

And, you know, they're just kind of treading water, trying to stay alive until they can get healthy.

healthy.

13, this is the Twilight Zone.

This is the team where if you're not sure what to do with them, you stick them at 13 and forget about it.

We had big, big differences here.

I'm not high in San Francisco at all, okay?

I don't think the Niners are a very good team.

I know they're three and one, but it's not the power standing.

It's the power ranking.

So given the way they played against the Jags and also the fact that they have a ton of injuries, I think their power level is low.

so i have them at 18 but mark has them at 12 connor has them at seven like i can't believe he's got them at seven given all their issues connor has uh justin has been at 15 so they come in at 13 down two spots justin you have something on this Yeah, because the next team in the power rankings is the Jacksonville Jaguars, who just beat the Niners this past weekend.

And all three of us on this show tonight rightfully have the Jags ranked ahead of the team they just beat.

But Connor this whole thing up by putting the Niners at seven.

Now, guess what?

I'm going to tweet out a power rankings graphic tomorrow that doesn't have our individual rankings on them, where the Niners are going to be above the Jags.

And you know what's going to happen?

I'm going to get 100 responses.

How can you have the Niners over the Jags after the Jags just beat the Niners?

Well, it's Connor's fault.

And if you want to know why, you got to watch the show.

You can't just look at a graphic on social media.

I would just say, like, I think anyone who really respects power rankings doesn't need to, in this case, it happened, but don't need to just pick who won, who beat who the week before.

Yeah, by the way, I just not, I understand

your frustration.

I'm a little surprised how fired you up you are about it, but like, here's a, I got that all the time in my power ranking time at NFL media.

Like, how could you have this team ahead of them?

They beat them three weeks ago, so how could they be worse than?

No, it doesn't matter.

That's like saying um last week when the browns beat the packers that the browns should be ahead of the packers in the power ranking no like a team can beat another team on a sunday and not be the better team they just were the better team for those 60 minutes of football it's there's nuance to it don't you realize that there's nuance to our power rankings this is dan hands us shout out thank you paul rudd next uh

people will not understand that but i agree with you and we'll get to a situation later where one team beat the other team earlier in the season but we all have them below that team.

But this one just irked me.

Sorry.

And by the way, the Jaguars, I think that they're pretty crummy.

But the league itself, the underbelly, the middle of the league is a little soft in the center.

And it's like, so I have the Jaguars right in this area that we have them at 14.

Mark has them just outside the top 10, which seems generous.

Mark's power rankings seem a little weird this week.

I'm a little worried about Mark's power rankings and what Farba could say about them.

No, I don't want to go down that road.

I don't want to go down that road.

Like, I really put a lot of

work into the Jaguars, and I kind of feel like they've had a lot of newness to the start of their year, but they're starting around into shape a little bit.

Uh-oh.

So, are you throwing your support behind the Jackson?

I'm just saying I put them at 11 because

that's how I feel.

There's a lot of junk out there, too.

The Jaguars are the perfect Mark Sessler gets behind the secretly bad team.

Like, they are the Arizona Cardinals of 2024.

I don't know.

Do it at your own peril, Mark.

I put them at 13 because of the Twilight Zone theory,

because they've forced so many turnovers that it feels a little unsustainable, but we'll see.

You can't knock them for doing it.

It just looks like...

At least three turnovers in every game this year.

That's crazy.

Are they going to keep doing that?

I don't know.

I like what we do with the Broncos because the Broncos just rolled over the awful Joe Burrow free Bengals, and we all kind of shrugged our shoulders and we're like, so f ⁇ ing what?

We keep them exactly where they are at 15.

And I know my buddy Scott here in El Segundo is going to be furious about that.

But you know what?

Scott had tickets to the game at Mile High tonight.

And he sold them when Burrow got hurt because he thought, you know, the game doesn't have any juice anymore.

So he knows it too.

By virtue of selling those tickets, he was telling us the same thing.

Like, what am I supposed to take out of this game that I know is just going to be a lopsided affair?

Yeah, well, you slightly doxed him there, but I'm sure he'll understand that it kind of

connects him to the truth.

Do you know what doxing is?

I mean, I feel like I need to give a little bit more.

Isn't that when you give out like your address and bank information?

Yeah, I didn't give it.

I didn't give it, I gave, I said his first name.

I said you sort of doxed him.

Doxed him.

Well, yeah, okay.

The act of publicly providing personally identifiable information about an individual or organization.

Usually via the internet.

Also, Scott is not his name.

I changed it to protect his

privacy.

Now, that could be a lie, too, but you don't know for sure.

It just knows you're old.

It's drenched in nobility, so we don't, you know.

Number 16, smack in the middle of the league.

We're not buying in on the Steelers yet either.

We have them at 14, 13, 14, and 16.

So despite the three-in-one record, as they hit their buy, we park them right in the middle of the league.

Tier three.

Chicago Bears, same thing like whoop-dee-doo way to hammer the raiders and didn't even hammer them

i tweeted that i find it hard to take the chicago bears seriously during sunday's game and then our old buddy rank who you know adam's a great guy at nfl media uh but like a bears fan and

he uh he said like what do you mean by that He replied to me.

I haven't replied yet because I'm still collecting my thoughts.

Like, do I have to rewatch this game and find that the Bears were actually really impressive against the Raiders?

I didn't sense that.

I mean, I was watching a couple games at once, but I don't know.

Let me know when you watch this game, boys.

I get the sense that you, I get the same sense as you, he DM'd you or he just

a Twitter reply.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let's see.

Let's see.

The Cowboys, up two spots after the 40-40 tie.

Like, the Cowboys, by the way,

you know, they're 1-2 and 1.

They took the Eagles to the limit in week one.

They took the Packers literally to the end of time itself in a tie in week four.

And then they had an ugly loss in there and a convincing win.

So they're a tough one to figure out, but we have them up two spots to 18.

The Vikings keep falling.

They're down five spots in our power rankings.

We're all kind of in the similar spot.

Mark, you continue to be a little bit in a different zone on some of these, but that's okay, not that different.

You have them at 17 in your rankings.

Yeah.

The Falcons were in lockstep.

We need to see more.

They've been inconsistent this year.

They're at 20 up one spot.

The Cardinals just floating

down two spots to 21 after their Thursday night football defeat.

The Patriots, I have them, I guess I'm a little higher.

I'm kind of in on the Patriots a little bit.

I think the Patriots are starting to quietly put some things together.

And I know they had that terrible turnover game against the Steelers, but I wouldn't be surprised if

the Patriots start to become a little bit of a story in the AFC.

That is

my quarter poll prediction here.

I have them at 20 right now.

Mark, you have them at 25.

Connor is at 24.

Justin is with me at 20, up four spots to 22.

Yeah,

their next four games.

They have to play the Bills, so that's going to be a nice test

to see how good they really are.

After that, they get the Saints, Titans, Browns.

Yeah.

That's 3-1.

And then that would put them at, what are they, two and two now?

If they go three and one there, they're five and three at the midpoint, and they're right in the wild card hunt for sure.

If they play Bills game is like a power-ranking salt and pepper shaker.

It could change things up.

It could change the dish.

Absolutely.

If they go in there and drop a small hammer.

Hot sex.

All right.

My texans have done it before as the Titans when they were very outmatched.

So we'll see.

The good old days, right, Justin?

Yeah.

The Houston Texans win.

Whoop-de-doo.

They stay at 23.

They don't move.

The Giants, all right.

I was looking forward to this because I had a feeling.

Oh, this is very good.

This is very good.

I had a feeling that you, Mark, sometimes could be a prisoner of the moment, that you would go crazy and make the Giants like number 16 or 15.

And I thought the, you know, Connor would do one of his Connor things and put him like in the top 10 or something.

But no, like, I have him at 23.

Mark also has him at 23.

Connor has him at 20.

Oh, no, I'm looking at the wrong one.

I have him at 24.

Mark has him at 22.

Connor has him at 25.

Justin at 24.

Justin, you and I seem to be very much in lockstep this week on the power rankings.

Well, he gets yours.

When you send them into Justin, he copies yours.

So that's my power rankings get done before anyone else's.

I do them, and then I think that's what I'm doing.

I don't actually believe that you copy dance.

That's called the joke.

That's a bit in the industry, Justin.

But they're up six spots, the Giants.

So let's see what they do for an Encore.

Remember, I might have had him a couple spots higher if Malik neighbors didn't blow out his knee, but he did.

And that's the tough thing about life.

Finally, the tier you don't want to be in, tier.

four.

The Cincinnati Bengals down three spots.

You know who's weirdly a little bit still in on the Bengal?

Connor Orr has him at number 17.

The rest of us have him at 26.

Look, there you, me and you again, Justin, kissing cousins, 26.

Both of us.

Mark hasn't buried it.

30.

I think they're cooked.

Mark hates the Bengals.

I think they're cooked.

I just,

I can't buy into what I've seen over the last two weeks.

I understand.

But look at that.

That has to be the biggest differentiation, right?

We have a 30 and a 17 for the same team.

That is wild.

Someone's going to be very wrong.

It's like the most wrong anyone's ever been when Connor fired off right around the same time that I fired off the tweet that there's no way the Jets can lose to the Dolphins when the Dolphins are wearing these heinous uniforms.

And then what does Connor do literally seconds later or before was like, these are the greatest uniforms ever?

And someone else replied, like, oh, yeah, okay, boomer.

Like,

to you.

Are we?

So we've reached a stage, Gen Alpha, or whoever the f you are.

We've reached the stage where all you have to do to have a quote-unquote cool uniform is just wear black and

make the numbers or whatever like a digital clock and then add a little neon.

Are we that stupid?

Like, are we that?

Like, do we just need to see things in

a neon color and black?

And we're sold on uniform changes as incredible?

Like, here's something.

Now I am going to sound like an old man, but you know what?

I don't care.

The Miami Dolphins classic uniform, I think, is one of the most beautiful uniforms.

It screams like the great AFL teams and that teal and aqua and the orange at the white.

It's a beautiful uniform, and I don't understand why

they would bake it into this, as Justin, you put it, like an XFL-looking uniform.

I would say, like, I've always been pro,

let's try different uniforms, and a lot of them have failed.

The Browns got tagged with one for half a decade that literally would depress me when I look at them.

But I'd have one word for you, and it's called nflshop.com.

Is that one word?

Kind of.

I mean, it's together, but I know.

Like,

I'm not ignorant to why these things keep happening.

I just, like, the default to,

look, it's black now with neon, and it looks like an alarm clock.

Cool.

Okay, boomer.

It's like, all right.

They're big dummy.

You know how easily they're manipulating you to take money away?

It's a rivalry uniform.

It's a trap, you dummy.

A fucking trap.

Cam Scataboo talking about the trap?

I love Cam Scataboo.

The Bengals difference of 13 from highest ranking to lowest ranking is the biggest in this week's power rankings.

49ers with a difference of 11 was second.

Ah, very good.

Good data point.

Also involving Connor.

I love it.

He's the best.

The Raiders down one spot to 26.

The Dolphins finally get a win, but we are not buying.

They're up two spots.

I had them at 29.

And Mark, you had them at 24.

Yeah, I could maybe 27 is fine.

Yeah, right in between those two numbers.

Look, this is all checking out.

Very nice.

One thing, when you put a team like this at 24,

they're sitting atop a building that is filled with garbage.

Like, everything below them reeks.

So it's not like a message.

Well, notably, if you put a team at 24, they're in tier three.

I mean, I feel like I struggle to say what I saw from the Dolphins was enough to get them out of tier four, but you did move them out of tier four in your own rankings.

I'm looking at the teams in tier four, and I don't have a huge ⁇ if this was the only ⁇ if this eight-team

operation were a league of its own, the Dolphins would be considered a Super Bowl contender.

I mean, I feel like what we're looking at right here are

average rankings.

Like they fit right at home, right in between the Raiders.

And then the Cleveland Browns, they're down one spot to 28.

The New York Jets continue their march to the bottom, down one spot

to 29.

The Carolina Panthers.

You can't be a little optimistic about your Jets, by the way.

What?

I have them at 27.

You have them at 30.

I mean, what about the New York Jets?

Do we remember the top of the show?

What about the New York Jets?

How are you optimistic at this point?

I said in that segment, I saw some things, and we'll see if I was seeing correctly.

Okay.

The Carolina Panthers are at number 30, down sixth spot.

The Carolina Panthers just went boomerang from 32 to 24 to 30.

Yeah, no, but I mean, honestly,

we gave him a little love because you shut out at a team.

He'd shut out a division opponent the way they did.

We gave him that, but that was a little Fugesy.

We were trying to be just nice, honestly, to Dave Ely and the other Panthers fans out there.

But this is where they always fooguck.

Yeah.

The Saints stay at 31.

And wow, look at this.

I was wondering if we get across the board with the Titans at 32, but no, Connor Orr, of course, Connor has them at 31.

He has the Panthers as the worst team in football.

So, I mean,

I understand, Justin, like you, you're at that place where I am where you're kind of a vengeful fan and you want them to be.

32s across.

Like, I find it hard to believe that the Panthers, who do have a 30-0 shutout win on their ledger against a team that's not even in tier four, it's the Falcons in Tier 3, how they could be behind the Titans from what we've seen.

What do we think Connor might be doing here?

Rabble-Rousing.

In that neighborhood.

Yeah.

Yeah, but they are 32 where the Titans belong.

So there you go.

The good news about being 32 is you can't get worse than that.

But the bad news about being 32 is that Brian Callahan is still the head coach.

Yeah, I thought we'd be talking about him being fired today.

And actually, now McDaniels bought a little bit of time with this win over the Jets.

The other winless team, who are the other winless teams?

It's the Titans.

The Jets.

The Jets.

The Saints.

The Saints.

The Saints aren't going to fire a first-year coach.

The Jets aren't going to fire a first-year coach, but I wouldn't put it past Woody.

Ellen Moore.

Ellen Moore.

He's safe for sure.

So, yeah, I think Callahan's still far and above everyone else in terms of danger.

He's definitely in the Oda May Brown, you and Danger Girl category right now, but

McDaniel's one more blowout loss away from the same category, especially not with no Tyreek Hill.

But that's enough.

That is

you and Danger Girl.

Thank you, everybody, for checking the show out.

We'll be back Wednesday and around Wednesday.

Make sure you're there for that, and we begin the march toward week five.

Can you believe how it moves?

Mark, final words.

I can't believe how it moves.

I feel like it was April 8th two days ago.

So I think I'm separating from the space-time continuum on some level, but football is not separating from me.

It refuses to.

Absolutely.

I would love to separate from the jets, but I can't do that.

I know.

So

the world holds us in orbit whether we want to escape or not sometimes.

But thank you for putting up with me and my anger and my frustration.

And we'll see you soon.

Heed the call.

And,

you know, but

yeah, I mean, so it.

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