123: The solitary seat

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with a class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

One day each year, why do hundreds of car alarms go off in San Francisco at the same time?

The answer to that at the end of the show.

My name's Tom Scott, and this is lateral.

Tonight, we gather not to address the status quo, but to challenge it.

This podcast promises a brighter, more imaginative future for all.

In these uncertain times, we need answers that come not from linear thinking, but from bold creative solutions.

We propose a new way forward, solving puzzles with flair, approaching problems from the sides, and providing boxes for everyone to think outside.

Our manifesto is simple: lateral thinking for all.

Together, we can solve the riddles that hold us back.

Let us rewrite the rules of logic for the many and for the few.

I'm glad I got that right.

Lining up to put their X in the box today, we have, first of all, returning to the show, magician, author, and podcaster Nicholas J.

Johnson.

Welcome back.

Thank you so much for having me.

I've got to bring the energy back down to normal levels.

I've been giving inspiration.

I wasn't sure whether to say a polite thank you or whether I should say viva la revolution.

This is the script I was handed and it's it says more intense towards the end.

I feel like I got that.

Tell us about the podcast.

What's going on with you?

Yes, so I host Scammer Palooza, which is a podcast about lies and deception.

So we talk about con outs and scams, but we also talk about how magic works, like what happens inside your brain when you see a magic trick.

We talk about deception in nature.

We had a recent episode about why birds lie to us and how they lie to each other, and essentially just all the different ways in which people get scammed and deceived and fooled.

I guess there is a big overlap between magic and scamming.

It's just whether the other person is in on it.

Oh, yeah, 100%.

That's why we often get called honest liars, or I call myself the honest con man, because essentially we are scamming you, but we've just had the common decency to tell you about it in advance.

Well, very best of luck.

I will try to be straightforward and honest with the questions today.

Next up, we have players who are also returning to the show and are also in Australia on the same time zone.

We'll start from Escape This Podcast and a lot of other things besides.

Danny Silla, how are you doing?

I'm great, especially now that we're in your inspirational cult.

I was going for political leader, not cult, but as I say that, I realize there's not actually that much of a difference there.

I also have some great stories to tell about our dog lying to us, if we want to get into the animals deceiving you category.

I got plenty on that.

Well, to be honest, I was going to ask you about the projects you're working on, but you know what?

We'll tell that to Bill.

Let's hear about the lying dog first.

Plenty of time for that.

So very recently, he started, you know, dogs will get all spiky when they're mad.

Their backs go all spiky.

Our dog has very recently developed that behavior, except it only happens about a quarter of the time that he barks at something.

So that's the time that we know he's legitimately angry about something.

The rest of the time, he's just trying to get attention and he's perfectly happy.

So not only is your dog a liar, your dog has tells.

Like if I was to play poker with your dog,

I would know when he's shitting.

There's a reason there's no Italian greyhound in that painting of all the dogs playing poker.

I was going to make that reference.

I'm like, I cannot remember any dog breeds, which brings me to the last member of the panel today, the other half of Escape This Podcast.

Bill Sunderland, welcome back.

Thank you for having me.

You've got my vote.

And

I guess I should outsource to you from Danny here what's going on in your lives.

What are you working on at the minute?

Yeah, well, the big project that we finished with

on our end that has been released and it's available to everybody is that we were just working on Rise of the Golden Idol, which has now been released to rave reviews, I would say.

It has.

You're not lying about that.

I'm not lying.

People have been reviewing it really well, which is great.

When you're the new addition to a project, you want the reviews to be, this is still good.

And we've also,

we worked extensively on the first sort of downloadable story DLC for that game, which will be out.

Quarter one.

Quarter one, 2025.

So possibly by the time this is and possibly later, I'm not sure.

But we're very excited about all that.

And then, of course, Escape This Podcast still going strong.

We've got puzzles and escape rooms and guests and lots of fun over there.

Well, good luck to all three of you.

I hope I can count on your support as we elect to solve question one.

This question's been sent in by Spyros.

In 2012, Shed Simov produced a 200-page book that was soon pulled from bookstores, despite it containing no words, symbols, or even images on its pages.

Why?

I'll say that again.

In 2012, Shed Simov produced a 200-page book that was soon pulled from bookstores, despite it containing no words, symbols, or even images on its pages.

Why?

I feel like the word despite is doing some peculiar lifting there, because that sounds like because of to me.

What was it doing there in the first place if it has nothing in it?

I mean, it's true, but it can't offend anybody at first glance, right?

Because presumably you'd think something in this book.

It offends people who like to read books.

I got scammed by...

by

a book that arrived blank.

I wanted to learn how to bullet journal.

And so I've forgotten the name of the author, but I bought the book called Bullet.

I think it's just called The Bullet Journal Method.

I think it's the name of the book

off

of Amazon.

And it's basically the description said, you know, something, something, bullet journal, use for bullet journaling.

And when it arrived, it was the cover of the book, but the inside was blank.

And the idea was that I was to use this book as a bullet journal.

And it was not a copy of the book that would teach me how to bullet journal.

This is a supplemental book that you get afterwards.

That's what I thought, but no, it's nothing.

It's just a scam.

It's just unrelated.

I know there's an Amazon kind of AI slot problem at the moment where authors will find that their book has not been ripped off per se.

Like, no one's uploaded a pirated copy of it, but someone has just run the title and the contents through an AI thing saying slightly rephrase this, and it's been put up as a self-published thing.

Yeah, it's a wonderful modern world.

I know whenever there's a new

like celebrity memoir or biography comes out,

the moment it comes out, there will be a bunch of AI written memoirs or biographies about that person.

So that the real one gets hidden.

If anything, this blank book is the only honest book left.

Well, you're sort of right there, Bill, because Nicholas, just like the notebook you bought, this was sold as a novelty notebook.

Okay.

I've heard of some things that

I want to go back even.

Actually, no, that's not a terrible time for it.

Maybe I'm a little bit off on the time.

I feel like there were things that you would find at the counter of bookstores where they have all of the novelty ones, and it was trying to be

a little bit edgy and say things like, Ah, here is the book of Sarah Palin's Inner Thoughts, and you'd open it up and it was blank and things like that.

This author has written a book like that as well.

It was called What Every Man Thinks About Apart from Sex.

Ah.

So, was it a case of someone being offended or somebody, or perhaps the blank book being libelous because it said something like that about a person?

Yeah, because you're right.

It's like,

even if we get what that book is, as we've just said, books like that are still being sold.

You can still buy them.

So there's got to be some extra little

dig.

Someone who's

mad about it.

So who was getting offended in 2012?

Everybody.

You're working through all the notes I've got just here.

You're absolutely right.

It wasn't so much a person that was offended.

Oh, an organisation, perhaps.

Was it Scientology?

Okay, I didn't say it out loud, but I was thinking, should I say Scientology?

Just three people with the same thoughts, but different amounts of sex.

Someone didn't maybe want to bring up on somebody else's podcast a beef with the Church of Scientology.

But we know how brave Tom Scott is.

His new Scientology 2.0, as he introduced in the introduction here, here.

Now what I've done is I've just taken the book of Dianetics and run it through an AI and slightly rephrased it.

Yeah.

Who's going to request a book be taken down?

That's not quite right in 2012.

What could you say?

What implication does a blank book have about someone?

It has to be surely that it's somebody's like the organized, it's got the organization's name on it.

So it says, for example, the big Scientology book of bullshit or whatever.

And then it arrives and it's blank.

And they're basically suing not because it's necessarily blank, but more because it's copyright infringement or it's implied that

it was written by that organization.

Oh, oh, oh, that could be fun.

I was going to say, when did Flat Earth become a big thing?

Because I could imagine like proof of the globe.

Oh, it's a blank book.

Checkmate, you globe heads.

The date is important.

This was a phenomenon around 2012.

But it wasn't so much that someone someone was offended as it felt more like passing off.

It was a rival publisher that was asking for the book to be taken away.

Interesting.

All I can think about for 2012 is, well, it was the end of the Mayan calendar.

The world was about to end.

Well, the book was the 2013 Mayan calendar, which would need to be blank, obviously.

The 200 pages.

in the book were very carefully chosen.

I mean, not the pages themselves, but the number, 200.

The point is we're like misrepresenting an organization.

It's appearing as if this is by an official source and it's not.

It's appearing to be something that it's not.

It's not really representing the organization.

It's just

there's a chance for confusion here.

This is called a book of spare toilet paper.

Trying to get through this.

My head is now firmly fixed on religions.

I cannot get away from it.

Absolutely not.

You could.

I'm sure you could be further from the truth, but not by far with religion.

Yeah, I'm very much stuck in the people being offended world.

Oh, no, but people might have been offended by what this book was passing itself off as.

What was the publishing sensation of 2012?

Twilight.

Oh, oh, I know what it is.

I know what it is.

I've got it.

I've smashed it.

I've got it.

I've locked it in.

I'm done.

As soon as you said Twilight, I'm like, you've got it.

I'm great.

I've.

No, I, I, do you know there's another one?

I might know what you mean.

Okay.

And Nicholas, you've got to key in.

We're both here.

We're both here.

It's not Twilight, but it's similar.

And it's 200 pages.

I'm sorry.

I've got 200 blank pages.

That's what I've got.

Would you imagine, Thomas Scott, that each of these pages is an ever so slightly different color than the surrounding pages?

It would be, yes.

Perhaps all 200 pages are a similar colour of different intensities.

Maybe 200 shades of grey.

Well, it's actually 50 shades of grey because each page is just a different, slightly dyed colour and it's a double spread.

But yes, the book was called 50 Shades of Grey, spelt with an A instead of an E.

It was just a notebook with 50 different shades of the colour grey in there.

Random House, the publisher of the novel 50 Shades of Grey, was not amused and sent a cease and desist order.

Come on, guys.

Come on.

I think they were more worried about sort of online purchases and things like that.

So someone typing in with the different spelling and that one coming up first.

Simov was quoted as saying, It's a clear case of a corporate giant whipping a creative entrepreneur, and they're trying to tie me up in legal affairs.

And I'm not the submissive type, he says, so I wish them luck.

Each of our guests has brought a question along with them.

I don't know the questions, I definitely don't know the answers, and we will start today with Bill.

What have you got for us?

So, this question has been sent in by Ben.

So, thank you, Ben.

Ben is dining at a fancy restaurant with his family.

He noticed that serving the water at his table required twice the number of waiters as the table next to him.

Why?

And I'll give you that again.

Ben is dining at a fancy restaurant with his family.

He noticed that serving the water at his table required twice the number of waiters as the table next to him.

Why?

The first thing that springs to mind for me is that you can't reach the water.

You can't get across the table to give the person the water because of the position of the table.

So you've got one waiter who pours the water and then passes it to the next waiter who then passes it to the person.

You know, like it's a big banquet table.

Like they're putting out a fire with buckets.

It did say fancy restaurant.

And I think there's a rule in fine dining that you must serve plates from one side and clear plates from the other.

Can't remember which one it is.

So, you know, spot the person who doesn't go to fancy restaurants.

But I'm wondering if, like, they couldn't get access round one way.

But I feel like,

like,

this is not lateral enough.

Like, what's so different about this table compared to the other table?

What I will say, for the sake of this question, you can picture the platonic ideal of a restaurant.

This is a restaurant

where you could assume spherical tables in a vacuum kind of a restaurant.

The layout of this restaurant and the placement of the tables is of no import.

Forget about it.

Okay, that's very strange.

So what's wrong with the people then?

Is it one of these fancy restaurants where everything's really performative?

Where there's a bit of a show in the presentation of the water, where the water is served out of a boot by a cow or something, and that

in order to bring the cow cow in, they need to

use two waiters for that particular table.

The magician rolls up the newspaper and pours water in, and it disappears.

Exactly.

Is there anything

about

a way that their table, the guests are split?

So, as a wild example, I don't know if there's anywhere where this is true, where like men have to be served by men, women have to be served by women somewhere.

It is not that, but you are getting much closer.

It is to do with the people at the table.

Some of them are children and they just have big sippy cups.

No, that doesn't require twice as many people.

This is the thing.

It's twice as many people.

It's not that it's slower.

It's not that it's more difficult.

It's that it requires twice as many people, which...

Like the number of people required to serve water at a table is one.

Yeah, that's where that's my basic assumption.

Yes, yeah.

And you can assume that the other tables all had one waiter serving water.

What if it was a situation where I know traditionally you would have the wine and the person who is pouring the wine, you know, they always have to pour the wine to the head of the table.

It's usually to a man and they get to taste the wine, sorry, wine first and have a sip and so on.

What if you've got a situation where you've got two people who are at the head of the table, two people who are in charge, which means they've got to simultaneously, like it's kind of a some sort of rule of culture that requires these two people both be treated equally at the same time.

Oh, it's the king and the queen at the same table table, and you can't preference one over the other.

Oh my ben is dining at a very fancy restaurant.

It's King Ben.

King Ben Ben.

But why didn't we pick up on this?

Again,

a lovely idea, but

not quite, not right in this one.

Not gender-based, not status-based.

How else can people be different from each other?

And the water's not different.

It's just the water.

Practically, no.

The water itself is not different.

Though this, I suppose, is to...

It does still treat the water differently,

as in the way they've brought the water is separate and equal.

Is it to do with the type of water that they ordered?

That at this particular table they ordered two-person water?

I don't know what two-person water is, but, you know, a particular type of water.

I shall have sparkling and I shall have still, and never the twain shall meet.

That's right.

Yeah, everyone else is getting tap water.

And you want to get the fancy water, you get two people.

I will say the water is the same, but the things that have been served to the people at the table have been very separate.

Is it that they ordered something super spicy?

And so everyone really desperately needs water quickly because they've all been eating spicy food and they're going, quick, bring us some water, bring us some water.

Not quite.

Damn it.

I think if you follow Danny's question of what could separate people at a restaurant

that is not status or gender, but something else that might separate

how they're treated.

How much they've paid.

What are some things that you might need to know about people who are at a restaurant?

Allergies?

Interesting.

Like, I know people with strong allergies, and I don't think they need to separate out the water.

And even so, why would we need a second person to serve it?

And this may be where the fancy restaurant is taking things to an extreme for service.

Is this some sort of...

I mean, I don't want to describe it as

performative because I don't want to insult the folks out there who have really strong allergies.

But is this a very

expensive restaurant that is going to the lengths of separate kitchen, separate water, separate bottles, separate everything, separate serving staff?

Because someone at the table is celiac or has a nut allergy or something, and even the water is separate.

Yes, you have nailed it.

It is

due to what was listed as a a gluten allergy, but presumably treated as if it were celiacs,

they had an entire separate waiter serving gluten-free food to one of the guests.

Wow.

This is a real story from Ben.

One member of Ben's family was gluten intolerant, and to avoid any possible cross-contamination, there was a single waiter dedicated to serving just that member's food.

and another way to serve the rest of the table.

And for consistency and possibly also to avoid contamination, because celiacs can be pretty intense.

Oh, yeah.

They also served the water separately wearing protective gloves.

You know what?

That sounds like overkill if you don't know anyone who's celiac.

I had to do some tests for it a few years ago because there were some suspicions that I might have.

And when I was, you know, fear googling it.

It was intense.

You can't have gluten in the house, in the building.

You just shouldn't ever be anywhere near it.

No, I know someone who, a drop of soy sauce can, like, shut down their digestive system for two days and put them in bed for a week.

Yeah.

No, if you go into a fancy restaurant and you pay them that money, honestly, that's reasonable.

And being a fancy restaurant, you would hope that they would

be able to make you feel comfortable.

So if they're presenting the water while wearing gloves, then you know that behind the scenes, they're going to be even more careful.

So you feel comfortable.

Yeah, like you call it performative, and it is in a way.

I don't want to call it performative.

It's not.

That's the wrong thing.

Performative isn't.

We don't have to have the negative connotations to that.

Performative can be very important.

Yeah, Tom, you say you don't believe in allergies, but actually.

And all of this actually did happen to Ben, the question writer.

And he says, the waiter came out and said, who's having the gluten-free water?

So yes, at this fancy restaurant, one waiter was dedicated to serving gluten-free food.

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Our next question was sent in by Alice.

Thank you, Alice.

In 1996, Gail received an unusual birthday present from her husband.

Since then, she has received hundreds of offers to buy it from her.

Others say that she should do more to capitalize on its popularity.

What was the gift?

I'll give you that one more time.

In 1996, Gail received an unusual birthday present from her husband.

Since then, she has received hundreds of offers to buy it from her.

Others say that she should do more to capitalize on its popularity.

What was the gift?

Ah, my love, I have brought you Zemona Lisa.

It is for you.

Please keep it.

Don't tell anybody.

I stole it yet again.

Is that it?

Thank you.

I was gonna say, like, that's the thing you steal, not buy.

Last time I stole it, it became very popular.

So I stole it again.

I am very old.

And somehow I am immortal.

I'm so old, girl.

I'm very, very old.

My dying act is to steal once more for you, the Mona Lisa.

Is that it?

Do I get it?

You've just invented a better French version of Twilight.

This vampire is not sparkling in the high school.

He is pulling off heists to give precious things to his lovers.

That's a better story.

It's always, I've always been curious about that.

I mean, they are immortal.

They are hundreds of years old.

Why did they voluntarily choose high school?

They didn't have to do that.

They could be stealing the Mona Lisa.

There's an answer to that question as to why they chose high school, school, but it's not an answer that people really want to think about.

Right.

Has anyone done a vampire heist movie?

Like, they don't show up in mirrors.

That's got to be a plot plot.

Oh, 30 Days of Heist.

So the only Gail I know who is relevant to the music.

No, you can't do so.

Sorry, you can't do a vampire heist because they have to knock and get permission into

the museum.

There's so easy to get out.

You just stand at the museum wall and be like, by the way, no vampires.

No, that's part of the heist.

Part of the heist is convincing someone to let you in.

That's how vampires work.

First, we've got to get someone to say that we're allowed in.

So you dress up as a security person and ask, may I come in?

Okay, no, I'm back on board.

That's a good beat for the vampire heist.

I'm also a crime writer, and

I've got notes that I'm taking for this.

And literally, the only thing I've got here is gluten allergy and vampire heist question mark.

So that's going to be a heist.

TM, TM, TM.

So the only gale that I know, especially relevant to the 90s, is Oprah and.

So I don't know if that's a Gail.

Oh, she was given Oprah as a birthday present.

Yeah.

I don't know what Oprah and Gail is.

Gail is Oprah's life partner.

Her best friend.

Yeah.

I did not know that.

But she's also, she started out as a reporter, I think, at the same time as Oprah did.

And Oprah, you know, became Oprah and Gail became Oprah's best friend.

Right, okay.

Oprah became Oprah.

Gail became and Gail.

You know what?

That Gail might have been one of the people who wanted to buy this off Gail.

I have a pitch, but you know, sometimes when you're playing this game and you have a pitch, you know, not like an ancient vampire stealing the Mona Lisa, but like a real one, and you think, I want to say this, but I'm worried that if I do,

we'll be done.

Do it.

You won't be done.

You won't be done because there's a second part of this question.

Okay, because my thought is...

Happy birthday, Gail.

I have bought you this grumpy, grumpy cat.

Would you like a grumpy cat and then and then everyone's like can i buy the grumpy cat from you and she's like no and they're like you should well actually know because that no you know what last part was do more to yes to and i think the grumpy cat people did a lot to get money out of that grumpy cat so i take it back well this definitely now sounds like it's something to do with the name gail right there's something gail-ish here oh it's just a website there we go you bought 90s nice i was gonna say you were surprisingly close with grumpy cat there now what is the I'm writing.

How did she spell her name?

Because the next question is, what was the website?

What was it?

P-A-Y-P-A-L.

Gail.

Was it Penn Island?

Was it Penn Island?

Was that the one?

You've identified, Nicholas, that it is a website or a domain name.

Just which one might her husband have bought her?

Gail

googale.com.

Wait, hold on.

And this is 96.

This is the very early days of the web.

A lot of domain names still available there.

It could have just been an interest of Gail's.

Yes.

Gail

loved electronic bays.

I mean, how simple can we go for not many domain names were taken yet?

Very simple.

Flowers.

I bought you flowers.

You're all overthinking this.

It could have just, like, is there anything interesting about Gale.com?

You're right, Danny.

It's gale.com.

And if you go there,

almost 30 years later, there is still just a very simple page that says, this is just my site.

I don't want to sell it.

Because she's not making use of it.

She's not selling it to

the Bureau of Meteorology to keep track of storms or anything like that.

Yep.

And obviously, she's received hundreds of offers to buy it from various Gales.

But there's one other thing about that domain.

that makes it more valuable than you might think.

Even now, like four-letter domain names are valuable.

But there's something else about Gale

that means that a lot of people go there who might not expect to.

Oh, it's one letter away from Gmail.

It's one letter away from Gmail.

Oh,

Gail.

Yes.

In 2020, Gale.com received 5.9 million hits.

Wow.

Just put a banner ad up there, Gail.

And that's the last part of the question, Bill.

That's the very last part.

She should do more, people say, to capitalize on its popularity if she just puts some advertising up there instead.

But they don't want to do that.

Her and her husband, it is just gail.com.

It is a plain text list of questions and answers about the domain name itself.

Good for them.

Also, her mail provider rejects more than a million emails a week.

I like it.

I'm on Team Gail.

I'm proud of that.

Good work, the Gails.

So, yes, this is gail.com bought in 1996 as a birthday present.

nicholas it is over to you for the next question all right here we go uh this question has been sent in by angus burns angus had a great seat at an england versus australia women's cricket match at edgebiston birmingham in july 2023 however when about to travel to edinburgh the next day he was falsely suspected of being a terrorist Why?

Wow.

So Angus had a great seat at an England versus Australia women's cricket match at Edgbiston, Birmingham in July 2023.

However, when about to travel to Edinburgh the next day, he was falsely suspected of being a terrorist.

Why?

Not where I thought it was going.

No,

that last word there really, uh, really, really changed the question.

And I should, I guess, point out that Angus

submitted this himself.

Angus is Angus.

This is Angus is Angus.

He had a shirt and it said, I'm a terrorist.

My I am not a terrorist shirt is causing people to ask a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

It says, I'm not a terrorist.

Could you read?

Also, the only connection in my head that I can make right now is, and it's the wrong year, it's the wrong part of the country.

It's just, we're talking vaguely about Scotland.

And there is that just incredible front page headline from, oh, I can't remember.

It was an attempted attack on an airport about 10 years ago in in Scotland and it just had this this headline paper I kicked burning terrorists so hard in the balls that I sprained my ankle It was something like that.

It was the first person out there was the guy who stopped the attack and it was just the the most wonderfully Scottish thing

Nice.

So it's it specifically said they had a great seat, which I assume means that if there were cameras and things, something exciting happened, you may well have gotten a good shot of him.

Yeah, 100%.

Yep.

Definitely would have got a great, great shot of him.

Interesting.

Unfortunately, it was with a gun, which meant, no, that doesn't mean that.

I thought you were going to say he had such great seats, he spent the whole trip to Edinburgh and be like, those seats were the bomb.

Oh, what a, that was a bomb seat.

That was great.

Could it be something to do with what I think on the internet is called tombstoning, which is there was a picture of him, and this was an important game.

So he happened to be seen in a picture that got like splashed over the front page of a newspaper because this was a huge deal.

So you could see a picture of him.

And it just so happened that the headline right next to this picture was about terrorism.

And then someone saw him and was like, that's the guy in the newspaper.

Exactly.

No, no, nothing, nothing like that.

Oh, that's upsetting.

I wish that were right.

I assumed that traveling Birmingham to Edinburgh, you would do on the train.

But there is an airport at both of those places.

And often, like if it's a last-minute trip, I hate to say it flights can be cheaper they shouldn't be but they can be so if you're accused of being a terrorist that might have happened at airport security

yeah I can confirm it was it was at airport security yeah hold on hold on oh Tom's Tom's got something in the brain no this this is this is going off you saying Danny that he he must have had great seats and a great shot

What if he had a cricket ball?

What if he'd caught a six that went outside the boundary?

And he was going through airport security, and they're like, What is this hard round thing that looks like a really comedy version of a bomb?

Something lined up in his luggage, so he'd caught a ball and there was like a fuse coming out of it.

There's like his two seconds

to it.

I packed the ball that I caught in my lucky fuse.

Or just something like airport security, you're looking at it and

that's not what a bomb looks like, but it's what a bomb looks like in a cartoon.

And airport security might have been like,

we gotta ask about this.

So I can confirm that

it wasn't a bomb cricket ball, but it was something that he that he got at the

that he got at the match

that was with him.

You know

that story that went around on the internet of like the person who was doing algebra on a plane and then someone looked and went, it's Arabic and that also means he's a terrorist for some reason and then like freaked out about it.

And he had, it was the same thing, but it was it was signatures of a bunch of players, which are fundamentally illegible.

No sportsman has ever signed something or sportswoman has ever signed anything where you've looked at it and been like, I know who signed this.

So it just looked, and someone thought the same thing.

No.

Would you like a clue?

We might need a clue.

Yeah.

Okay.

Angus wore the same pair of shoes on both days.

Oh, hang on.

I've nearly fallen foul of this before.

It wasn't a cricket match, but I was in the US.

Someone took me to a shooting range.

And then, without thinking, I went from that shooting range to catch my flight at the airport.

And it wasn't until the guy behind me got swabbed for explosives that I went, oh,

that was nearly a very bad thing.

That was nearly me coming up as positive on every explosives test.

Well, Tom, actually,

fun fact, which I won't share any names, but I remember talking to some ballistic experts who had spent a day in a field blowing things up with nitroglycerin and other various explosives, had chunks of those explosives in their shoes, and they did get pulled aside for a random explosive swab at the airport.

Oh, yeah.

And then they were waved through as being completely

negative for explosives.

So maybe you didn't need to worry.

This is an Ashes game.

This is an Ashes game.

It has like pyrotechnics going off and things like that.

Was he downwind of the pyros?

Yes.

Oh, wild.

That's it.

You've nailed it.

He was downwind of the pyrotechnics.

Oh, I had no idea they were that fancy.

Yes, that's exactly right.

So this situation happened to Angus, who's the question writer.

On the 1st of July 2023, he attended the Women's Ashes match at Edgbiston and sat on the front row.

Every time a wicket fell or a boundary was scored, large flames and pyrotechnic effects would be let off just a few meters away.

The next day, Angus flew to Edinburgh for work and wore the same pair of shoes.

Airport security swabbed his shoes as part of a random check and found traces of explosives.

The only possible reason was being so close to the pyros.

Angus was allowed to proceed and made it to the plane just in time.

Thank you to Josh Youngman for this next question.

Croatia Airlines has Airbus A220 aircraft in its fleet.

Passenger seat 31E always has the words, do not occupy this seat stitched into it.

Why is this necessary and why wasn't the seat removed?

I'll say that again.

Croatia Airlines has Airbus A220 aircraft in its fleet.

Passenger seat 31E always has the words, do not occupy this seat, stitched into it.

Why is this necessary?

And why wasn't the seat removed?

This one stinks of bureaucracy to me.

It was a heritage-listed chair.

Yeah.

The seat was right, you know, there's a little wall that stops you from getting to first class, and it was right up next to the first class one.

And people used to, every single time, they would sit there and they'd take a photo and they'd be like, oh, I'm occupying wall seat.

And then everybody got bored of the joke.

And so they cancelled it.

Oh, that hurts.

Just like Tom cut that whole bit from the episode.

Not my call.

Not my call.

So 31E, that, to me, that's pretty, that's the back of the plane.

If it's a small, smaller craft, that's right at the very back in the corner, which would be right near the bathrooms.

And it's got to be, it could be, I think it's probably related to something.

The reason why you can't sit there is because it's too close to the toilets or you can smell something or

there's something to do with, you know, with that seat, but they can't remove it because they're supposed to have a certain, legally supposed to have a certain number of seats on every plane.

Oh, that's what you mean by bureaucracy.

Yeah, so there's some sort of, no, no, you've got to have 120, whatever it is, seats.

And if you have 119, the plane falls into a different class of aircraft.

and there's different types of fees you've got to pay and different airports you have to go to.

So they put the seat there.

They just don't let anyone sit in it.

You're right with bureaucracy.

Like, absolutely right.

Different categories, different rules, things like that.

It is airline regulations and bureaucracy.

You've got kind of the second half of the question first, but you've not identified why that seat and why it might happen.

That throws out my theory that

the pilot just had a very unsupportive father, like in every movie where there's a seat reserved for their dad.

It's like, don't sit there.

My dad's going to sit on that seat.

He's going to watch me fly the plane.

And he looks back and it's empty every time.

This seat is, in fact, Jesus as the co-pilot.

He's just,

you don't want to sit in Jesus' seat.

Is it always the same plane?

Like, is it all of the planes or just this one particular plane?

It is every Airbus A220 on Croatia Airlines.

Nicholas, you also said it was towards the back of the plane.

Absolutely right.

Back row.

Not the window seat, though.

The layout is AC on one side, D E F on on the other.

So it's back row, middle seat.

Okay, it's on every Airbus 220 on Croatia Airlines, not necessarily worldwide.

Do Croatians like think that the middle back seat is reserved for a Croatian cultural figure?

Nothing to do with Croatia.

Yeah,

I felt like you were going to go somewhere nasty there.

I thought that was those nasty stereotypes about Croatians.

No, I know what it is about Croatia.

The middle seat of of that plane is reserved for someone from Bosnia and Herzegovina, just to show that even on a plane, they can steal all the coastline and you get stuck in the middle.

That's all I know from looking at maps of Croatia.

If there's some terrible history there,

that's up to someone else to research and cut appropriately.

It's the Balkans, Bill.

There's some terrible history there.

Yeah, that's true.

Okay, I've got, so what if the

air, the flight attendants union says they've got to have like a certain amount of elbow room and that row is reserved for the the flight attendants to sit in and they're basically they're legally supposed to have a certain amount of space to sit in and so if you had three people in that seat that would be against union rules because you've got to have more el you've got to have elbow room and so they've left the seat free so that they can sort of stretch and you know move okay you are getting closer um in in it's not flight attendant's elbow room it's not even union but now you're starting to get closer yeah that's fair i wondered if i don't know on a small plane something about weight distribution was going to be an issue but

a single person doesn't feel like they would make that much difference there is it about access do you need access to something that if someone was sitting there you would not have access to oh combine your thoughts of access with nicholas' thoughts about bureaucracy is this

the seat for if they say quick take your seats, the person who's in the toilet can rush out and leap into that seat?

So that

would be more clever.

That would actually be a lot more clever than what's actually going on here.

You've got all the standard things.

You've got the safety vest.

You've got the oxygen masks.

Parachute.

No, life vest.

Not parachute.

That's not what they have.

The slide.

Well, actually,

talk about that slide a bit more.

What about the door?

Is there an emergency exit there?

There is an emergency exit at the back very close to that row there's there's one at the front as well is it to do with how many seats that you have to have a certain number of seats set aside for the um

the the the i forgot what it's called but the people who get given the little lecture about if there's this is what you do if the plane goes down but because they haven't got enough doors they have to keep the seat empty otherwise you're going to be telling someone they've got to look out for an exit when there isn't an exit there.

It's simpler than that.

It's much simpler than that.

Oh, I only do overcomplicated.

Sorry.

They have to

shut the plane in half.

Half have to go to the front exit, half have to go to the back exit.

Right now, that's what they have to do.

Yes.

Because there's no overwing exit.

Is it that basically they don't have enough exits then?

So you need to have...

You've got to have, you'll have to put in a whole new exit.

Oh.

And what happens if you put in a whole new exit?

Well, it costs the money.

It costs money because you have to take a row of seats out.

So they're sacrificing one seat so they don't have to sacrifice five.

That's wow.

Okay.

The Airbus A220 is only certified for 149 passengers because it only has emergency exits at the front and the back.

But Croatia Airlines want to cram in as many seats as possible, and they only come in these set numbers of seats.

So your options are take out a whole row.

or just mark one seat as do not sit here, bring it down to 149 passengers instead of 150, and you're safe to fly.

So we were on the lines of, oh, the bureaucracy is what means we can't get rid of that chair, but it was the other round.

The bureaucracy was what put it there in the first place.

Yeah, when you said bureaucracy right at the start, Nicholas, I'm like, you have solved the second part of this question.

Yes, when this aircraft reaches 150 passengers, two more overwing emergency exits are required.

And presumably, they picked the back row middle seat because it's the least popular.

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Which brings us to Danny's question.

What have you got for us?

This one has been set in by Attila Sabonia.

Thank you so much.

Like many people in her hobby, Amrita buys yeast every two weeks, puts it in a bottle, and throws it away afterwards.

However, she's not brewing beer or making anything else related to food.

What is its purpose?

One more time.

Like many people in her hobby, Amrita buys yeast every two weeks, puts it in a bottle, and throws it away afterwards.

However, she's not brewing beer or making anything else related to food.

What is its purpose?

Hmm.

What do you do with yeast?

So she's throwing it away immediately?

Once she's done with it, yeah.

I wrote down beer, bread, and cake and then just crossed them all out with your last line.

So thank you.

I suppose though, what

yeast does in all of those processes, right?

In the beer, in the...

Like, it does a lot of stuff, but it also, I feel like it produces a lot of, like...

of carbonation at the same time, doesn't it?

Like, it eats sugar, it ferments things, but I feel like it also produces...

Does it produce gas?

Could you be doing the yeast just to get bubbles?

You have a chemistry degree.

I feel like you could work this out.

It's been a while.

Yeah, yeast eats sugar and creates alcohol in beer, right?

Isn't that?

I think

with some carbon dioxide and off-gassing as a side effect.

Yeah.

Because people worry about their fermentation stuff exploding.

Yeah, exactly, right?

Think they do explode.

So you've got to have, so it must be generating some kind of gas through that metabolizing and digesting.

So, is there a case we don't care about food and we don't care about the sugar and the alcohol and all that stuff?

We just want to make like bubbles inside a glass.

I'm decorating the inside of my glass with a bubbly pattern.

So, I put yeast in there, shake it up, and then, wait, then I throw the glass away.

Hold on.

I need to carbonate some paint to paint the walls and make them fit.

Do I want that side of yeast?

Fizzy walls?

Fizzy walls.

Nicholas, can you write that down on your list of ideas?

No, I did, and then I crossed it out three times.

I went straight to some reason to thinking about attracting insects.

I don't know why, but just like the idea of some sort of device that would bring in flies or bees or something like that.

But the fact you throw it away immediately doesn't make any sense.

Yes, but after two weeks, the yeast might have finished its work or be all carbon dioxide out.

I know that one of the ways people try to deal with bed bugs or things like that that are attracted to carbon dioxide is you put a little thing of dry ice or some carbon dioxide generator in the bedroom because that's what the bugs are attracted to.

So hopefully they go to that instead of the human source of carbon dioxide.

They just sense something respirating and go to that.

Yeah, it's awful.

Also, of course, you have to make sure the room's well ventilated at that point or you carbon dioxide poison yourself.

Also, a terrible hobby.

That's what I realized.

As I said it, I'm like, that's a terrible hobby.

What do you do on the weekends?

Bird bugs.

What about the sugar, the breaking down of sugar?

Is there some hobby that would require sugar to be removed from something?

A sugar hater.

I feel happy to tell you at this point that your initial instinct of go for the carbon dioxide was bang on.

Okay.

She loves carbon dioxide.

What else loves carbon dioxide?

Plants.

Plants do love carbon dioxide.

Does she make terrariums?

Does she put them in a glass terrarium to produce more carbon dioxide for the plants to photosynthesize with?

You are basically bang on.

You are very close to the bottom.

I said bang on twice now.

I don't need it.

You've got it.

This is about aquarium plants.

Aquarium.

Whoa!

Because

where do most plants normally get their CO2 from?

The atmosphere.

The atmosphere.

Yeah, just around them.

And it turns out when you stick plants in water,

sometimes you need to give them a little help.

They need more dissolved CO2.

So they, wait, they just put yeast in the fish tank?

So you've got the bottle, and it's got a couple, like some piping coming out of it that is going towards the aquarium.

That would be great to just.

In my head, like the phrase, fish with a yeast infection popped in, and I don't like anything about that.

How do you get the yogurt in the tank?

It doesn't make any sense.

Oh, fantastic.

So, yeah, a good, quick one to finish.

Well done, guys.

Amrita has to do this whole yeast experimentation as a means of keeping aquatic plants and, therefore, the fish that would feed on those plants alive.

Which brings us to the question I asked at the start of the show, sent in by Karthik.

Thank you very much.

One day each year, why do hundreds of car alarms go off in San Francisco at the same time?

Before I give the audience the answer, anyone want to take a shot at that from the panel?

Earthquake testing.

Testing earthquake,

some sort of testing, some sort of earthquake readiness system.

But it's only hundreds.

I assume more than hundreds of people live in San Francisco.

One day each year as well.

You're right, the cause is man-made.

It's a similar day each year.

And it's not an earthquake.

But it might vaguely feel like one.

Michael the Car Slappers annual ride.

Is it people running?

Is it like a marathon?

I love the idea of it being a San Francisco marathon.

Yeah.

I just like Michael the Car Slappers.

Michael the Car Slappers Annual Ride?

I thought that was going to get cut for favor of the Good Answer.

The sensible one.

I love Schlappines cars.

You can't stop me.

It's my year.

This is the worst character yet.

I'm going to get them all.

So,

no.

This is not Michael the Car Slapper?

You're right that it's the sort of thing, that sort of vibration that triggers car alarms.

Something like this happens in other major cities.

It's famous in San Francisco, though.

I was going to say Mardi Gras.

Or is it a pride parade?

Mardi Gras.

It's a parade of some kind.

I don't know much about what goes on in San Francisco.

It's actually San Francisco's military history.

Fire.

It's a cannon.

It's a cannon salute.

It's close.

San Francisco is known for...

It's when those car, it's when the planes fly over in formation and do cool flips and stuff.

Yes, it is the Blue Angels fly past for Fleet Week.

It happens once a year.

Fleet Week.

Yep.

There is just an enormous rattle going past as they do low-level flying over San Francisco and the shockwaves from jets flying so close to the ground cause a load of car alarms to be triggered across the city.

Yikes, that's terrifying.

Congratulations to our players.

Thank you very, very much for being part of the show.

What's going on in your lives?

Where can people find you?

We will start with Danny.

You can find us at consumethismedia.com, escape thispodcast.com, various words.

And Bill.

And you can also go grab a copy of Rise of the Golden Idol.

It's on Steam, it's on your phone, it's everywhere.

And Nicholas, what's going on with you?

You can listen to Scammapalooza, any place you can figure out how to spell it, or just go to conman.com.au.

And if you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com, where you can send in your own ideas for questions.

We are at lateralcast basically everywhere.

And you can watch video highlights at youtube.com/slash lateralcast.

Thank you very much to Nicholas J.

Johnson.

Thank you.

Bill Sunderland.

Thank you.

Danny Silla.

Thank you.

Vote for Tom.

I've been Tom Scott, and this has been Lateral.