112: Driving in both lanes

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with a class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

In what kind of mood do people recite verse 35 of John chapter 11, perhaps unwittingly?

The answer to that at the end of the show.

My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.

Before we begin, a little fact for you.

Did you know that a lateral speech sound is when you push your tongue to the roof of your mouth?

Funnily enough, just like the

of lateral.

So if a lateral hadn't been invented, this show would actually be called Attora.

But then, then I guess the whole word wouldn't exist, and actually, the entire history of the world and biology would have been very different.

And you know, I really haven't thought this through, so hoping to have an L of a time today.

First of all, we have fashion and cultural historian, author, and from her own YouTube channel, Abby Cox.

Welcome to the show.

Hello, thanks for having me.

I'm so excited to be here.

We just missed each other at VidCon in LA this year, apparently.

And like, it's wonderful to see someone from such a completely different niche and genre from everything I work in.

Like, you still find out interesting facts and history and everything like that, but there's stuff I'd never even considered before.

What are you working on at the moment?

I am doing an overly in-depth history about mummies as medicine and

how that came about, and how basically

just a bunch of dummies who thought they knew better in like the 1100s and 1300s were like, we'll just change this interpretation of Arabic.

It's fine to include dead people because that makes sense.

And yeah, so I've been reading a lot about like corpse medicine and

early medieval stuff.

And I may or may not have a Henry VIII costume in my back room for later.

I almost wore it for this, but I was like, that might be coming on a bit too strong.

That might be a little for a first appearance.

Yeah.

It's a strong, for a first appearance on an audio first podcast.

That is a strong opening move.

Yeah.

Very best of luck on the show today.

You are joined by comedian, broadcaster, and writer of children's historical fiction, Izzy Lawrence.

Welcome to the show.

Hello, lovely to be here.

I'm hoping I'll be able to do this because I can't really think in a straight line.

So laterally seems to be, I'm basically got the brain of a crab.

So.

That is entirely the right description and the right kind of lateral description for this show.

Just before coming on, you were saying that you were relying on

Abby and not Abby specifically, but that sort of historical research for your own books.

Yeah, exactly.

So, like, when I have to write about what pirates are wearing and how they avoided getting like blisters and that sort of thing while climbing ropes, how they didn't, by the way, they just got blisters.

Yeah, it was just grim.

You know, don't go to the 18th century, guys.

Not fun.

I don't think I've ever felt sorry for a pirate before.

Really?

You should feel sorry for pirates.

It's,

you know, they are ultimately heroes who murder people.

It's great.

But yeah.

But yeah, so and also, weirdly, my latest,

I've got a book coming out

in January about

ancient Egypt.

It's set in 1249 BCE.

And so I get to, like, we meet a mummy.

So that's nice, you know.

Don't eat it, though.

Exactly.

And I've heard about that.

Have you heard of sin-eaters?

Yes.

Yes.

I actually did a video about funeral gifts last year and like

touched into the sin eater concept.

Like, if somebody's died before they can confess, you put food on them, like a loaf of bread or something, then you get the sin eater out and they'll eat the bread, absorb the sin, and the other person can go to heaven, no questions asked.

Eating cookies was a thing, too.

Like, funeral cookies were a thing.

Like, it's like kids would go to like wakes

and just be like, can I have a cookie?

I've heard of people crushing weddings, but not wakes.

Oh, no, no, they do.

Old people crash wakes all the time, just come in and eat the sandwiches, pretending they knew the person.

And funerals are better than weddings.

We all know this.

The food is definitely better.

And the first dance is always better at a funeral.

I should introduce at this point the third member of today's panel from his own YouTube channel and others, broadcast engineer and someone who's never felt sorry for a pirate, Matt Gray.

Hello.

First time caller, long-time listener, and it's a pleasure to meet you for the first time, Tom.

Well, that last bit was originally, and someone who I've known for what's becoming dangerously close to 20 years.

Well, thank you for having me on.

What are you up to at the moment?

As if I don't know, but for the benefits of the audience, Matt, what are you up to at the moment?

I'm working on videos for my YouTube channel.

I have a series called Matt Gray is Trying, where I have a go at loads of wonderful and ridiculous different jobs.

Showcasing the skills of really clever and skillful people in the industry.

Like recently, I've done road line marking,

DNA sequencing, and stenography, where you're typing with a weird keyboard.

So I'm currently talking with some secret yet very cool companies about maybe playing with their things.

Well, very best of luck to all three of our players today on what got described just before we went on air as the Elder Millennial edition of Laterall.

Oh, yeah.

Hi, John.

Or as I now have to call it, thanks to the callback to my introduction joke, which is a good like five minutes ago now, Attora.

But listeners longing for laughter-laden ludency, let's launch the lateral lesson with question number one.

An English company designed a stoneware mug with an irregular shape.

Even though it had virtually no handle, it was very useful to a specific group of people.

Who?

I'll give you that one more time.

An English company designed a stoneware mug with an irregular shape.

Even though it had virtually no handle, it was very useful to a specific group of people.

Who?

Okay, so initially, I thought of two things.

First, of some sort of children's cup, which doesn't spill, which is a bit dull.

The other thing I thought of was

like Lent.

When you go through Lent, right, you get people have special earthenware for it.

Back in, like, I'm thinking, like, just after Tudor time, so sort of 17th century sort of time.

They went for Lent in a big way.

It was quite puritanical here in the UK.

And what they did was was they invented really, if you're really rich, during Lent, you'd have really basic, horrible crockery and everything else to really sort of light.

It's not just that you're not eating very much and you're eating boring stuff and no meat.

You're also eating out of really rubbish things.

So maybe this is a mug that actually spills water on you deliberately as a way of like revealing your sin.

That is my

question.

I thought those mugs did have handles on them though.

The like puzzle mugs?

Puzzle mugs, maybe, because they're the ones with the little hole in.

Yeah.

So like teapots and stuff that only pour when you cover the hole.

The assassin's teapot.

Yeah.

I mean, there's Toby jugs, which are a big thing.

Oh, with the big face on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My grandma collected those.

My dad had a few of them.

They're hideous.

They're impossible to drink out of.

That was the thing that always struck me.

Do you for vibes?

Yeah, and I realised they were a display item, but their lack of practicality really annoyed me because the anvil was, it was always set right-handed, so then the face was pointing at you which means you can't drink with the face there the face gets in the way not that anyone would want to drink out face is looking down your top yeah yeah well it's weird like old mugs and like pewter mugs and those sort of things it when you're like you know thinking about history and that sort of thing when you think of a beer now we sort of see it from the side we see through it but back in the day beer was considered like really pure and nicer than water because it was always white you only saw the white fluffiness on the top you didn't see the sort of like skanky brown stuff underneath so much.

There's a sort of like trying to put your head back in the past and trying to sort of sing it through.

But I don't think this is

the asterisk.

This is, unfortunately, ruling out quite a lot of knowledge here.

It's not historical, this.

This is a fairly modern company.

But I do like the sound of an earthenware sippy cup.

Like, that's the most middle-class class way of giving your children a drink.

Yeah, you threw me off when you said like red earthenware.

I was like, okay, so we're going like 18th century or earlier.

Like, I was like, okay.

It's stoneware mug with an irregular shape with virtually no handle.

Now, one thing I noticed is that it's English rather than British or Welsh or Scottish.

So maybe.

And it's made for a group of people.

So did they make it for the Welsh?

Oh,

just to annoy the Welsh.

Just send them to Scotland like a gift.

It's like a Trojan horse, but it's full of really annoying things rather than full of war.

So why does it have an irregular shape?

Is this to do with the drinking experience or is this to do with its stackability?

Is it something you can put away easily and therefore it's used by big catering companies because we can pretend to be posh but at the same time be really efficient?

I would focus in more on there being almost no handle.

Almost.

So it has like a little nubby.

Oh, I've seen cups with a little nub on it.

Is it to exercise the fingers?

Is it some sort of disability thing that you're trying to strengthen your grip?

The first part of that, you're spot on.

It is to help with finger exercise.

It's not for disability.

I've got it.

Climbers.

Yeah, yeah.

The nub on this side is a climbing grip, isn't it?

Yes, it's got what would be a very tricky grip.

Yeah, like the finger grip.

Not like the nubbing on a climbing wall, but like a little bit of a terrible rock face that would be really hard to cling on to.

Yeah.

Is the handle of the mug?

Is the handle of the mug.

Okay.

This is called the pinch hold mug.

It is a gift item for the rock climber in your life.

Could Could you imagine though if you spelt that?

Like I really hope you're not putting hot liquids in there.

Oh yeah.

It is designed for tea and coffee.

It's like that's risky.

I suppose if they've got any spillages they could dry them up with a little bag of chalk that they've got.

And also they're adrenaline junkie so part of the fun is in the spillage, you know?

Yeah, part of the fun is in the spillage.

Each of our guests has brought a question along with them.

We're going to start today with Izzy.

It's possible to buy a magnetic four inch square plate that has a two inch long black tube that does nothing.

What is it for?

It's possible to buy a magnetic four inch square plate that has a two inch long black tube that does nothing.

What is it for?

Is this related to like

the tech world in any capacity?

Yes.

So I'm thinking here there are some terms in this, like plate, because plate can mean food, but plate could also mean like a bit of metal.

And it's magnetic.

So that could just be a magnet.

My brain insulin went to like an iPhone holder.

But then it would have a function, doesn't it?

Is it the whole object that doesn't have a function or just the tube?

Yeah.

Sneaky words.

My first thought is that this is space-related somehow.

Because if you have a plate that is magnetic, you might be attaching it in zero gravity or something like that, so it doesn't float away.

And the tube is to hold liquids or something like that that bubble up in zero gravity or something like that.

Amusingly, the first thing I thought of in the previous question was a cup that's specifically designed to work in space for coffee, but that isn't earthenware, that's plastic.

And that's a weird shape to use.

Oh, yeah, you wouldn't.

Yeah, you wouldn't make something of metal that was heavy unless you absolutely had to.

You just make a plastic plate and attach a couple of magnets to it.

So is is it like perpendicular tube, longitudinal?

Like, are they attached?

Are they just next to each other?

If you imagine, you know, a cup on the side of a, of, on a little coaster, it's like that.

So it sort of sticks out.

Just a big, you know, so.

A big coaster.

And it's two inches long.

The tube is two inches long.

It's a two inch long black tube, yeah.

Okay, we don't know the diameter of the tube, though.

We don't know the diameter.

Okay.

I mean, I can tell you the diameter, but I think that's not as as fun.

You've got how the show works.

Musical instrument.

I think, have a think about why it's magnetic.

And also, remember, it does nothing.

It does not.

Well, that means it's art.

Art has no function.

While I greatly appreciate it and agree with it, it has no function.

We'll get complaints about that.

We'll get complaints.

Art does nothing, but it may have a function.

Okay, so it does nothing.

It's magnetic.

The magnetic plate is four inches square.

The tube is two inches long.

And black.

And the black's significant.

Okay, why does it have to be magnetic?

Is it going to be attached to a fridge?

Is it going to be attached to something else?

Is it...

Not a fridge.

But what else might you want to be able to put on something but take off?

Oh, is it like a coat hanger thing?

You're thinking of those little towel things, aren't you?

Where you shove in your kitchen towel and it sort of holds onto it, aren't you?

Or like we have the hook.

It's not one of those.

Like a hook version of it.

Yeah.

It's not a hook.

Okay.

It

literally does nothing.

Is the tube floppy?

The tube is very much not floppy.

Does this thing

go in a kitchen?

Okay, does it go in an office?

No.

Is it a fiducial marker?

It is not a fiducial marker.

It is a marker for something.

I will give you a massive clue.

This thing is trying to mimic something else.

Does it like, is it like to mark the the height of something?

It's not to mark the height of something.

Very early on Tom said something about attaching to some sort of spacecraft.

Think of another craft that this could attach onto.

Aircraft.

A car.

Watercraft.

Trains.

Is it a car?

So it's like a hitch.

But it's got no function.

I'll give you another clue.

It's particularly popular, this item, with people who are resistant to change.

Is it a fake antenna for your car?

You're so close.

A black magnetic square.

Is the whole thing black?

Or is it just the metal?

The whole thing is black.

So it's not like a fake petrol cap cover for your car.

So you're like, so next to this is like ridiculous.

You're almost in bed with it.

What does a modern car have that one from 10 years ago doesn't?

Exactly that.

Well done.

Is it a handle?

Is it to open their door?

Have you seen any new door handles recently?

What do modern cars have that old cars don't?

An exhaust pipe?

An exhaust pipe?

No, not an exhaust pipe.

Exhaust pipes aren't this big that they're not.

Oh, it's like a pretend electric socket.

So then you can park in a

park in an electric parking space and have a

fake plugged into your car.

You do.

Wow.

Yes.

And there are parking spaces where you're not allowed to park in if you've got a dinosaur-fueled vehicle.

Exactly that.

I live in Indiana, so I.

So electrically.

It's not only people who want to drive, like, be in the EV parking spaces.

It's also, they can be used as a joke.

So, particularly people with 4x4s or people in Indiana, which have very obvious, loud, dirty diesel engines, will sort of stick them on and go, ha ha ha.

You put one on your Ford F-150.

Exactly.

I would tell you what, most of those types of people hang off of their cars, but I don't know if it fits within the PG nature of this podcast.

I'm guessing truck nuts.

Yes!

All right, we're going to go for the next question.

At Ledgeview Golf Course, Wisconsin, there is a sign next to the T of Hole 13, a PAR 3.

It commemorates Todd Welsing hitting his first ever hole in one on the 2nd of July, 2020.

Why do visitors find the sign amusing?

I'll say that again.

At Ledgeview Golf Course, Wisconsin, there is a sign next to the T of Hole 13, apart 3.

It commemorates Todd Welsing hitting his first ever hole-in-one on the 2nd of July, 2020.

Why do visitors find the sign amusing?

I'm literally just writing out all the numbers.

Yeah.

Just go.

Because I'm remembering as, well, it's American.

So they do.

It'll be July 2nd in American dates.

Oh, yeah.

The lateral book, I think, should be out by the time this episode goes out.

And we have a US version and a UK version.

And like a lot of the changes are just swapping dates around or putting metrics second or just just it's there's very little cultural change in it.

It's just a lot of imperial and metric stuff.

My favourite thing I've heard of that recently was in the Harry Potter books there's a bit where Fred and George Weasley create a swamp that they can't move and the caretaker Filch has to punt the children over this swamp in order to get to classes.

And of course every British person knows a punt is like a gondola with a like long pole that you punt along.

A punt in America, in American football, very different image.

Very different.

I mean, it fits though with Filch.

Like,

it vibes.

It does vibe, but it's a very different image.

I can see him kicking the children.

My mental image was, yeah, him drop kicking Fred and George.

Whereas we're sort of, no, it's Cambridge, darling.

It's Cambridge.

You just, you know, take them along.

But it's interesting, little translations like that that don't come.

So I know,

I could tell you all I know about golf in about one word, and that's the word for.

And I know that eagle comes in there, and that's about, and I've heard of Tiger Woods, which as Gary Delaney would say, is a darth place for a picnic.

Other than that,

I'm useless.

So it's hole 13.

Yes.

And par three.

And golf course, this is where I learned that golf courses have a hole 13 because some hotels don't have a floor 13 or a room 13.

They have 18 usually.

Par three means you should be able to do it in three hits, right?

Yep.

It's also, since it's in Wisconsin, like that made me instantly think of beer and cheese.

Um, because Wisconsin has like the highest per capita alcohol consumption in the United States, like, and they're proud of it.

Yeah.

It's a bunch of Scandinavian, like

ex like people.

Yeah, and the local sports team are Green Bay Packers.

Yeah, the cheese.

Well, it's the Packers, but the fans are the cheese heads.

They have just big,

big styrofoam cheese hats that they'll wear for some of the games.

Well, considering I know nothing about Wisconsin, I'm assuming it's kind of at the top towards the left middle and is a rectangle shape because all the boring states seem to be rectangle shapes.

It's not rectangle.

It's not glove-shaped or mitten-shaped like Michigan.

It's kind of.

Oh, I know where Michigan is.

Okay, it's up there.

It's not going to work in audio, but you know, somehow it does.

Yeah, you're right.

Wisconsin is

shape.

Yeah.

None of this is even even vaguely relevant to the question.

Just welcome to Wisconsin, facts.

Okay, so what was the name of the guy again?

Todd.

Todd Welsing.

Van Helsing?

I hope at some point Todd Welsing has played Van Helsing.

And you said it happened on July 2nd, 2020.

Yes.

So that was still during like basic lockdown.

It was just, it was in between lockdowns in the UK, I think.

Yeah.

July 2nd.

Yeah,

he wasn't breaking COVID restrictions as well.

Also, like, a little side tangent, I don't know if it's related or not, but since it is in July, July 2nd is technically

when the Declaration of Independence was voted on.

So that's like our real Independence Day from you guys.

You guys just bang on about that, don't you?

It's not like it's important or anything.

I wrote a kid's book set in New York during the American Revolutionary War, and it's told from the British side.

So ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And Washington's a baddie, so nerd.

July 2nd, golf.

There we go.

And there's a plaque.

Yes, there is a plaque next to the T,

which is the...

Let's call it the kickoff spot

commemorating this hole in one.

Yeah, what would it say on that plaque is what I'm thinking.

Yeah, there are a few extra words on that sign.

Is it cheese related?

It's not.

You do not need Wisconsin knowledge for that.

I do find it interesting that you've gone in on every number in that that question, apart from one.

But 13.

So it's hole 13.

So it's unlucky, but he's done something very lucky.

Was on July?

Was July 2nd on...

No, Abby, that's not how math works.

Ignore that.

July 2nd cannot be on Friday the 13th.

Shocking to find out.

Baker's dozen.

Was he a baker?

Todd did not get to mark this on his scorecard as a hole in one.

Did something happen to his...

Oh, because I've seen a lot of like weird holes in one where things bounce off something else and end up in the hole.

And I saw a thing on TikTok recently where somebody was helped by a wizard because there was a butterfly that just went with the ball and just basically fluttered it in for them.

Is it that one?

It's not that one, but you're right that something strange and unusual happened here.

Is it the squirrel?

I've seen a squirrel doing that.

No external factors, no animals, no other plants.

Are there moose in Wisconsin?

There are, but they weren't involved in this.

And even if that happened, Todd would still have been able to mark that as a hole in one, I think, under the rules of golf.

Was he not the guy who actually hit the ball?

Was he the guy the ball hit in order for it to get in the hole?

Not quite.

Oh, but you.

Did he kill someone?

Oh, no, no.

Mixed emotions.

It was an incredible moment.

He's got a story out of it.

Did he hit himself with his racket?

I mean, it's not the racket, isn't it?

Did he hit himself with the golf kit?

With his bat.

What might give you a hole in one if you swung really badly?

Was it a hole in one in the wrong hole?

It was a hole in one in the wrong hole.

We did it!

Well, Matt's done it twice, Abby.

We've done nothing.

Yes, this is a sign next to the T of hole 13 commemorating Todd getting his first ever hole in one on the 16th green.

He

shanked the T-shot, the ball flew off to the right, and it went squarely into the hole on the wrong green.

That is the most sarcastic plat.

Honestly, I think I'd be more proud of that.

If I ever get any kind of commemoration, I want a sarcastic one.

Careful what you wish for there, Matt.

Someone will take you literally on that.

Matt, it is over to you for the next question.

This question has been sent in by Sioki.

Kirana and Bintang took about six hours to drive from Jakarta to Semara.

Kirana drove on the left side of the road and occasionally caught glimpses of Bintang driving on the right for the whole journey.

How didn't they break the law or cause a crash?

Kirana and Bintang took about six hours to drive from Jakarta to Semarang.

Kirana drove on the left side of the road and occasionally caught glimpses of Bintang driving on the right for the whole journey.

How didn't they break the law or cause a crash?

So I presume that these places, I mean, Jakarta,

there will be some sort of road

laws that you have to drive on one side of the road as opposed to another side of the road.

That will be the...

Nowhere do I know where that isn't a thing.

I mean, it could be a very simple answer in that the roads are so narrow that there's no difference between driving on the left and the right.

Is it like a train thing?

Indonesia is a big country and like has like this this is a lot of infrastructure in there.

Like the main road out of Jakarta jakarta is going to be massive yeah so is there different rules for different vehicles yeah but occasionally catching glimpses so they've got to be on different

different routes different location different something if there was that clause saying they hadn't caused a crash i mean they could have just pelted it and yeah one of them's just a really bad driver yeah

My guess would be a bus lane or something.

So maybe buses use a different side of the road or

and the other person's driving a car.

Or like a hove lane.

You're not going too far away from the right direction here.

This is a major travel route in Indonesia.

So do you just drive?

I mean, is it the word drive here?

Is the six hours?

Otherwise they're saying, oh, maybe one of them was driving cattle.

Yeah, I was just thinking.

Very speedy cattle.

Yeah.

A lot of the ideas I've had have been ruled out by little bits in this question.

It's like, oh, maybe there's maybe there's somewhere else in the world where they have those necks.

No, they caught glimpses of each other.

I I was like, is there a train involved?

But that's not driving.

You don't drive a train, do you?

Do you drive a train?

Oh, you do drive a train.

You do drive a train.

Train driver is a thing.

There are countries in which they will drive cars on one side and drive trains on the other.

Congratulations, that is absolutely correct.

Hey!

Well done, Abby, because you said trains a while ago, and I kept my face as poker as I could.

And it's like the other two didn't even hear it.

Why would the American know about trains?

yes kirana was on a road and bintang was driving a train in indonesia the trains drive on the right however cars drive on the left because this is the system used by the dutch colonialists in indonesia when cars became popular and while the netherlands changed sides in 1906 indonesia kept to left-hand driving on the road

Who would have thought it would be the fault of colonialism?

There's a couple of countries that have done that.

Sweden famously had like H Day, because H like, I can't remember what it was short for, but it was the day when the traffic changed from left to right-hand driving as they came to Europe, which everyone just had to stop.

If you're on the roads like three or four a.m.

that day, everyone stopped, then everyone moved to the other side, and then everyone proceeded slowly.

And my favorite fact about that is that accident rates went down for a few days because everyone was so, so cautious.

And then accident rates spiked because everyone thought they were used to it.

That's Jeremy Clarkson's idea of safe driving instead of having

like airbags in your wheel, have a big spike, yeah,

because that will make you drive more carefully, but it'll only make you drive more carefully until you're used to it, and then, of course,

more fatalities.

Every month you get a new bigger spike.

Next question's for me, folks.

Good luck.

When Chris was being measured for his expensive new suit, it was vital that it was made two inches longer than he initially needed.

Why?

I'll say that again.

When Chris was being measured for his expensive new suit, it was vital that it was made two inches longer than he initially needed.

Why?

I'm going to have to sit out because I've got this one, I think.

Oh!

I was just going to say he was a boy and therefore was going to grow into it.

The very first note I have on here is that Chris is a fully grown adult.

And I did think, as I read this out, Matt's going to get this one.

interesting so uh Izzy Abby this one's up to you you're the clothing expert Abby come on yeah I mean like when I hear two inches longer I hear I hear

like hem allowance like but also if you're talking about pants specifically usually like there's a cut of men's trousers that you have basically a of I don't know the technical term off the top of my head but it flips up so it basically folds up but to me I'm like if it's yeah like two inches longer that's just a hem allowance like that's what I do on a lot of my clothes too, especially if I have a one-inch seam allowance.

But, I mean, it could be a trick question.

I'm not a tailor.

I mean, the fact that Matt got this immediately and went, oh, yeah, this is exactly what I, and you didn't, makes me think that it's not something to do with the intricacies of tailoring.

Not that I'm judging your t-shirt, Matt.

It's beautiful.

I have a sewing machine right back there.

Okay, so we've got a fully grown man who's ordering a suit that's slightly too big for him by two inches.

Yep.

And I can only think that this is, I mean,

the fact that Matt got this so quickly is making me just think there is a story.

There's the Chris.

Who do we know who wears suits who's called Chris?

And I was like, I don't know anybody, do I?

I did,

I did, I did work with a man whose literal name who he went on the news on ITV with was Chris Peacock,

which is amusing if you think about it too much.

But he didn't order overly large suits, so it won't be him.

But it's not two inches bigger, bigger, it's two inches longer, right?

Two inches longer, yes.

Yeah, it's not, so it still should fit him correctly around the chest and waist.

Is Chris a drag act who is wearing heels and therefore needs the extra length in his trousers?

I think, Izzy, when you said he'd grow into it, you are technically right.

Okay.

So

maybe, is it a case that when you put on weight, everything's like your trousers ride up slightly, if you get really muscly maybe he was maybe just joined the gym and was really sort of like very sort of like oh i'll get skinny jeans but i'll get them too long and then they'll like they'll the the the the extra material would be taken up by my quads

that would be that would be broader this is longer yeah yeah i know but if it's broader it'll still shift up a bit does he just have lifts in his shoes going for the tom cruise look yeah

I mean, I'm also thinking, obviously, of things like Stretch Armstrong and Inspector Gadget.

As you you should.

That's his own.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

The funny thing is, that is surprisingly close.

Oh, does he have...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Does he have,

oh, God, I am lost my English.

But is it because he's

an amputee?

Oh, no.

Okay.

No.

In fact, until recently, that would have been disqualifying for his job.

Not anymore, but it would have been.

Okay.

So is it something you have to peddle?

Hopefully, Hopefully not.

No.

Okay.

So he's got this suit for his job?

Yes, and it's a very, very expensive suit.

Is it to do with astronauts?

Because I know that astronauts have a really tricky time trying to fit their hands.

They have to have slightly short

things for their gloves so they can reach into their fingers and that sort of thing.

So their arms are slightly short, so they're always slightly bent when they're in space.

Is it something to do with that?

Yes.

What might require you to have a space suit that is two inches longer when you're measured for it?

Is it simply because when you're in space, you decompress your spine and therefore you grow?

Yep, you grow.

Roughly two inches taller in quite a short time if you're going to spend time up on the International Space Station.

We don't know that this is a particular Chris, but yes, it was a bit of a clue.

Matt, who were you thinking of?

Well, obviously, I was thinking of Chris Hadfield, which made it even better when you started asking if it was for a drag act.

I don't know if he's done that, but I know if he does, I would like to go and see it.

Yes.

But it's true, they have to have their hands, like, like their arms have to be slightly shorter so they can reach the end of their gloves, because literally their suit floats off them.

So they've got slightly too short arms and they're slightly too long legs.

Yes.

NASA says an astronaut can become up to 3% longer in space because they are not being compressed by gravity.

So if you're six feet tall, that is about two inches.

Wow.

And the other thing I think is because they're not standing, because they're just floating, their feet become as as soft as hands, so it ends up hurting to stand again when they get back, if they've been up there for six months or whatever.

If you've ever damaged your leg, so I had a bad knee once for that to be in a thing, and then you put your foot back on the ground, my goodness it hurts.

It's like, how is the ground this hard?

It's really hard.

When I said very expensive suit, do anyone want to give me a ballpark figure on how much, like, just your basic model space suit might cost?

I'd go $750,000.

Oh, I I thought $20 million.

Maybe a million.

This is like a price is right episode.

I'm like, a dollar.

Also,

if it's a price is right episode and you go for a dollar, you're definitely wrong.

It's somewhere about quarter to half a billion dollars for a basic spacesuit.

Whoa!

Oh, and that explains.

So there's a problem with

women.

Oi, what?

That was a bad point to pausing your sentence, Matt.

I understand you were just going for the next word, but that was a bad place to pause.

There's a problem that women have in space because of the patriarchal history of astronauts

and how expensive all the spacesuits are.

They've all been up there forever and they haven't got any new ones, which means women who have a different shape frame and everything, there is no standard human, have had problems with the spacesuits that are up there because they are too big and they end up like bouncing around inside them and getting like blisters and like really bad rubbing because these spacesuits were designed for big men and then now women are up there and they have things that aren't designed for them just like life down on earth.

Abby, it is over to you for the last guest question of the show.

All right, here we go.

So this question has been sent in by Adam Thomas.

College students sitting in a physics test were allowed to bring one sheet of notes into the exam room.

However, a student found a way of having three times as many notes as anyone else without breaking the rules.

How?

College students sitting a physics test were allowed to bring one sheet of notes into the exam room.

However, a student found a way of having three times as many notes as anyone else without breaking the rules.

How?

I remember seeing a story about a professor who insisted that that students were allowed to bring in one 6x4 index card or one 6x4 card, but did not specify the units.

And someone managed to bring in, I don't know whether they went for yards or meters, but it was not inches.

It was definitely not inches.

It's beautiful.

I would suggest that it would be some sort of like their own code or language that you can do.

I know a lot of comedians actually who use symbology to remember jokes and that sort of stuff.

So there's a comedian called Chris Norton Walker, who if you look at his show notes, they're just little, it's almost like hieroglyphics.

They're just, yeah, little pictures and shorthands.

So like a stenographer, maybe they were a part-time stenographer and that's how they knew how to do it.

I'm thinking it's topological, but I can't see any way you can.

That's where my brain went too.

You're not going to have like a Mobius piece of paper.

And that's not going to give you three times as much.

Three is a really specific number here.

I mean, especially if you could write on both sides of the sheet of paper to begin with.

I mean, there's no possible way you could increase it anyway.

Unless it was, oh, was it toilet paper and it was three ply?

So that you could write on

it was not.

Sorry.

I also just trying to imagine writing on like toilet paper and then like getting sweaty, nervous palms and then it just like disintegrating because you have like test anxiety.

And then like now you also have just like.

But at least you have something to blow your nose with when you're crying.

Yeah.

I was wondering if it was thickness but that would give you six times more because if it was a cube of one sheet of paper well obviously just a block of wood at that point but

what what is a sheet of paper but a very thin block of wood

okay i will say this because this is listed as a clue this was an ordinary sheet of paper okay magnifying glass as well

did did it did they like like micro dot the paper

i've got to say you're you're a little warmer.

You're not like...

Do you know how there's those people who can make words read one word one way up and another word upside down?

Oh.

I don't know what that's called, but you.

Cambigram.

You have those.

Or it's usually the same word both ways around, but you could write, if you knew how to do that, you could write a word to look like another word when it was the other way up.

But then that's only doubling.

Yeah, you guys are definitely like heading in the right direction.

I will give you that.

I'm trying to think what other exam sheets might be possible because they couldn't have brought in other props.

I was like, oh, they brought in 3D glasses, glasses, the red-blue ones, and then decided to

put, to write in red and blue on the same paper.

That might be it, because then you could have two different color rings.

So if you've got three different things, you've got your normalize, and then you've got your red and your blue, then you can write over the same thing three times and see different things.

Correct.

I was just like, oh, yes, you guys got it.

Wow.

I thought I was ruling that one out because it'd be like, you'd need extra props.

Yeah, so the notes say a college friend of Neil deGrasse Tyson was sitting a physics exam and students were allowed to take notes on in the exam room as long as they fitted, they fit onto one sheet of paper.

And this particular student wrote on the paper in three different colors of ink,

each ink like overlapping.

So he just kept writing on top of it in different colors.

And so it looked like an illegible mess.

like when you looked at it just with normal like glasses or just you know your normal vision however he was able to bring in three colored filters which he laid on top of the paper.

And that only showed one set of notes.

And then they banned filters.

Probably so.

I think Proctor's went, no more, never again.

Yeah.

But then that guy came up with Instagram.

He's got a red filter, a blue filter, and the one that makes it look like it's from the 1970s for some reason.

Yeah, yeah.

That Rio de Janeiro coming in hot.

Which leaves just the question I asked the audience at the start of the show.

In what kind of mood do people recite verse 35 of John chapter 11, perhaps unwittingly?

I mean, I presume it's

I presume that John chapter 11, so John's New Testament.

Yep.

Yeah, so New Testament is going to be about Jesus.

It is.

And it's going to be something like Jesus wept or something.

It is exactly Jesus wept.

So

what kind of mood are we looking for?

So, you know, you're meant to, oh, you're exasperated.

Oh, Jesus wept.

This is ridiculous.

The answer I have here is specifically annoyed and exasperated.

It is the phrase.

I didn't know that so well.

Jesus wept.

That was a wonderful bit of deduction, Izzy.

Yeah.

Oh, well,

I'm surprised I knew that.

Izzy, we will start with you then.

What's going on in your world?

Where can people find you?

Well, basically, if you go to iszi.com, you can find out all about me.

But if you're into dinosaurs, I do a podcast with Dr.

David Hone from Queen Mary University about dinosaurs called Terrible Lizards.

And it is very popular.

And if you're listening to this show, you will like it because you are our people.

If you've got short people in your life, I do write historical fiction for kids, the Time Machine Next Door series, and out in January, on the January the 30th, I have a book called The Cursed Tomb.

And the thing about my historical fiction is it's all as real as I can make it be.

So I've actually got Egyptologists working on it.

I do not like to make things up.

I'm not a good author in that way.

So if you know any very pedantic children, check out iszi.com.

I'm the audience.

I feel like people who know pedantic children is very much the audience for this podcast.

Matt, where can people find you?

What's going on with you?

I am at Matt Gray, yes, on all the socials, or you can go to mattg.co.uk, where you can see the links to everywhere you can find me, including Matt Gray's trying on YouTube.

And Abby.

You can find me mostly on YouTube, just Abby Cox.

If you type in my name into the search bar, you're going to get me a dead hockey player and the First Lady of Utah.

So it's pretty easy to deduce who's who.

So if you want to check me out on Instagram, I am just at IamAbby Cox.

If you want to go TikTok, I'm there too.

But honestly, YouTube is where it's at for now.

That feels like one of those Oxford comma things where actually all those three descriptors are the same person.

No, I am not the First Lady of Utah.

If you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com where you can also send in your own ideas for questions.

We are at lateralcast basically everywhere.

And there are regular video highlights at youtube.com/slash lateralcast.

Thank you very much to Abby Cox.

And thanks for having me.

This was fun, Matt Gray.

Yay!

Izzy Lawrence.

A pleasure.

I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.