Heather Mitts Feeley: Embracing the Gold Medal Mindset for Success in Life and Leadership

The biggest thing is being able to share my story with others.

And so I came up with what's called the gold medal mindset.

And I do go to a lot of business leaders and I share

what helped me on the field to succeed.

What is that gold medal mindset?

What is that athlete mindset that then can then translate into the business world?

Because it's really not

any different.

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged.

And today we are in for a banger, one of my favorite athletes of all times.

We're talking about a three-time Olympic gold medalist, a trailblazer in women's soccer, and a fierce voice for equity and sport.

From dominating the pitch to shaping the next generation of leaders, she embodies resilience, fierce leadership, and unapologetic authenticity.

Please join me in welcoming my friend, the dominating Heather Mitz-Feely.

Heather, how you doing today, Dan?

I love it.

Thanks, Mick.

I'm great.

Thanks for having me on.

I'm so excited to be here.

I'm the excited one.

You know, we were talking offline.

Most people don't know.

Well, everybody knows I'm a tar hill.

Everyone knows I'm a UNC tar hill.

Most people don't realize how dominating UNC is in women's soccer.

And literally, my first week on campus, I went to a UNC women's soccer match and I have been hooked since 1996.

Like literally one of my favorite sports of all time is women's soccer and one of my favorite players of all time is Heather Mitzfeely.

Heather, this is an honor.

Truly me that.

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

You know, I think UNC is like where it all began, right?

Anson Dorrance,

Cindy Parlo.

So many greats that went there.

It's a great place to fall in love with soccer, that's for sure.

absolutely so let's talk about that though because you did not attend unc

you went to this little school in the state of florida that likes blue and orange that may or may not have just won the national championship in basketball how did you arrive at the university of florida um

you know there was

A couple schools that I was looking at.

Florida was probably the one that was a little further away.

Becky Burley was just starting starting the program

and

she just

showed me a lot of interest and I decided to go down there on my recruiting trip and

really had no intentions of going there, but

I was blown away kind of by the balance, the academics and the athletics of the school

and their passion for what they wanted to create.

I knew it was something new, so that was kind of exciting for me too, to be a part of something that's building up from the ground.

So when I went my freshman year, we were only in our second season

and

never would have expected for it to turn out the way that it did.

I love it.

So Heather, for you, when did soccer become a passion for you?

Probably the first time I went out in the backyard with my brother.

He was 18 months younger than me and

he was actually way better

at soccer than I was from a young age, was actually traveling overseas and doing it's called Corber soccer.

So he was going over and doing these little demonstrations.

He was really technical with the ball, great with the footwork.

And so we would go out in the backyard and just have these 1v1 battles, you know, that would end up me most of the time just trying to get the ball away from him.

But it would, we would, you know, always end up in a fight, one of us heading home into the house.

Um, and I said, I basically owe my brother for the fact that not only my love of the game, but also, you know, my toughness.

I was gonna say, the fight

in the backyard.

I was trying to get the ball away from him, hence why I kind of probably gravitated towards a defensive position.

I was always small, but I was, I was always tenacious.

And so,

you know, that's where it all began was in the backyard.

And that is literally why you were one of my favorite players, right?

Like, everybody that knows me knows, like, I like gritty, right?

Like, you give me gritty and scrappy, and that's me all day long.

And that was you.

Like, before

saying someone was a dog was a great thing, like, you were a dog, Heather.

Like, you were the person that, like, I say set the tone defensively.

Like, if there were a comparable, Heather was like the Draymond Green of women's soccer, right?

Like without the technical, without the red colors.

Yellow colours.

Card nose defender.

That was it.

That was it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

you sacrificed a lot too.

I mean, you, you've overcome injuries, even when people didn't think you were going to come back from them.

Like, like, what was that drive like?

Like, what was that?

Like, I'm not giving up spirit that you had.

And I'm not even going to say it's proving people wrong.

It was just, I think you were just proving to yourself that I'm not done, right?

Like, what was that like for you?

Yeah, I mean, I look back on my career, I had a million injuries.

I was only five, four, like 120 pounds soaking wet.

So, I was tiny and I was playing defense against much bigger and stronger girls.

And I was a dog, you know, I was throwing my body everywhere.

So, um,

you know, but I learned a lot about myself through those injuries.

I think my ACL injury was probably the biggest one.

You know, it happened at a not great time.

It was right before what would have been my first ever Women's World Cup where I was starting.

I was so excited to wear my ACL.

I ended up going online mistakenly and reading some of the comments when the announcement came out that I would not be playing.

And some people were like, you know, she shouldn't have been starting anyway.

She'll never make it back.

you know, when she's competing against these much younger, much talented players.

And there's this quote: it's telling me I can't then watch you work twice.

It's hard to prove you wrong.

And I just kind of, that was it.

You know, I just kept grinding and grinding and grinding.

And really, that gave me an opportunity during that break to focus more on the things that I wasn't as good at to become more well-rounded.

Even though it was a little bit further into my career, and they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

It's not true.

But I started to focus on the things that needed improvement in my game.

And then kind of when I had an opportunity to play again, it was like, this is it.

And I knew how much the sport meant to me.

So I was just,

I was trying to survive and get a spot.

And I would not only end up getting a spot, but playing every single minute of 2000

and eight Olympics, which ended up being one of my favorite memories, just because when I stood up there in the podium, it was like, wow, you did,

you did it, you never gave up.

And this is what it's all about.

Yep.

You know, Heather, I don't know personally many three-time gold medalists, right?

Because a lot of you don't exist.

Like it's hard to really gold medal three times, right?

Yeah.

In the same event, right?

Like, you know, there are different sports where you can medal every year.

But for soccer to medal three times, what was that experience like when you sit back and like look back at that achievement?

Because, again, there's not a lot of you that exist, right?

How does that make you feel?

You know, it's still surreal.

Um, I actually had an event this past weekend where I was throwing out a first pitch at uh my little, my, both of my little sons

uh, first league or what is it?

It's called uh, it's like minor league baseball, or like, uh, what I'm totally messing this up.

Can you cut none of this?

I got you, I I got you.

Little League?

Little League.

Why could I not remember?

Oh, okay.

Little League.

And I had my medals on and it was just like, I don't take them out very often.

I don't even think about it that often because I'm a mom now.

Like that's, that's my main focus.

That's what I'm, I'm, you know, completely set and focused on is just being.

a very present mom.

And so it's not till it's events like that where I actually take my medals out that I'm like, this is pretty cool.

You know, you get to share them with the kids and you get to show them this one's,

this one's from Athens, this one's from Beijing, this one's from London.

They all get bigger and bigger as they go.

And, you know, you're reminded of that journey because it does seem like an entire lifetime ago.

And sometimes it doesn't even seem like it existed because it was so long ago.

That's amazing.

That's amazing.

So, you know, I have a lot of athlete friends and they all tell me the hardest part

is knowing when to walk away.

Because there's a lot of times when your mind is like, I've still got it, but your body is like, no.

And then I have a couple that are like, my body was good, but my mind was like, I can't go through the grind of preparation because people don't understand what professional athletes at a high level like you,

the mental grind a lot of times is 10 times tougher than the physical grind, just knowing the preparation that you have to go through.

So I want you to talk about that preparation aspect first, and then I have a follow-up question.

Yeah, I mean,

you're right.

It's a lot on both.

And I think the one thing that I am so grateful for is

that I always had the mental side of it.

That is what helped me to

achieve my goals.

Yeah.

Clearly, as you know, my body was probably like, please, please stop um

and eventually i knew when it was time uh was in 2012

and 2011 was like a really hard year for me um

would have been my first world cup to start and play i had an injury earlier in the year i barely made the roster and so after the the world cup they they actually cut down the roster from 21 to 18.

and so i knew that my chances of making that roster were pretty slim.

And so I actually thought about retiring.

I had told a couple people that I was going to retire because I just didn't, I didn't think I was going to make it.

And I was at the time afraid of failure.

And my husband also, we had this agreement, like you play in one World Cup and then we're going to start a family.

And so I knew that's what he wanted.

I was getting older and

he knew I wasn't ready.

And so he said, all right, have give it a go.

And so from that moment on, I just,

I did everything.

I made that team.

Luckily, we won gold.

And so then when I stood up there in that podium one last time, I was just like, we did it.

This is everything that I ever dreamed of.

And now I can walk away on my own terms.

I can start a family.

I can do whatever's next.

And

I know how fortunate I am because I know a lot of athletes don't get to do that.

But I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have been given by those coaches to even be on that roster for my teammates to help me win that gold.

You know,

it's a dream come true.

I love it.

I love it.

So then you kind of answer my follow-up, which was, I was going to ask you, how did you know officially it was time?

And like, no looking back, like lying in the sand, I'm retired, I'm moving forward.

A lot of it had to do with my age.

Yeah.

You know, it's,

it's tough, I think, even tougher being a female because for me, I, I had a lot of teammates that could do the juggle, but I, I knew I didn't want to.

And, um, I just knew how tough it would be.

So,

you know, I

knew when the time was for me to come to an end.

And I think, you know, it helped that my body just wasn't cooperating at the end.

You know, I was just doing everything just to kind of manage to even get on the field half the time.

So all the, all the stars were aligning and

I knew when it was time to walk away.

Love it.

So again, things that I always say.

You retire from the sport.

You don't retire from being an athlete.

Right.

Right.

Like Hitler is still an athlete through and through.

The dog mentality is still there.

And you took that very well into business and leadership.

And, you know, being a sports nut, I tell folks all the time, the parallel between sports and leadership is so strong and dynamic.

Because if you were a leader of your team, Leader doesn't mean the most popular.

Leader doesn't mean the highest scorer.

That usually the fan see.

In every locker room, in every field, in every team, in every huddle, there's a leader.

And I know that you were that.

How did you take those skill sets and then transform them out of sport into the business world?

You know, I think the biggest thing is being able to share my story with others.

And so I came up with what's called the gold medal mindset.

And I do go to a lot of business leaders and I share

what helped me on the field to succeed.

What is that gold medal mindset?

What is that athlete mindset that then can then translate into the business world?

Because it's really not,

it's not any different.

Right.

You know, you're doing the same thing and it does come down to mentality, but I think it comes down to giving yourself permission to imagine.

a positive outcome, you know, to dream and even figuring out what that dream is.

A lot of times we think we dream as kids, but we have to continue to dream as adults and to set our goals.

Set our goals high, make them scary and unattainable, what they seem like, because then you're to be surprised.

I did that when I was playing soccer and I achieved all my dreams and then I had to set new ones because we all need to continue to dream throughout our lifetime.

And learning what you can control, because in this crazy world that we all live in, in the business world, there's things that are completely out of our control all the time.

So, instead of focusing on those things, figure out what can I control.

And then you're surrounding yourself with positive people.

They say we are the sum of the five people that we spend the most time with.

And

that blows my mind.

Because at one point in my life, my five weren't great, but now they are amazing.

And I feel like once I went to college, I found those athletes around me that were just driven and successful and positive and caring.

And so I learned that that was helping me to become a better, not only athlete, but a better person.

And that's something that we all need to continue to try to focus on is who those five people are because they have a big influence on our lives every single day.

Totally agree.

And I believe in checking those five on a recurring basis too, right?

Like I'm always leveling up.

And so, sometimes, you know, one or two of the current five, eh, I need to move this five over and go attain a little bit more.

But, Heather, like, I just learned something I wanna unpack a little bit because, as your biggest fan in the world, I didn't know that your five wasn't always good.

So, let's talk about that.

Let's go back in time a little bit.

So, tell me about, tell me about that, Heather.

Um,

yeah, how do I say it?

My dad always used to say, I'm the reason that he had gray hair and

very little of it later in life.

I was a handful in high school.

I really was.

I was not hanging out with a great group of kids.

You know, my parents divorced, and I think that was very hard.

And I just was trying to kind of navigate that whole thing.

And

I wasn't handling it correctly and I wasn't motivated you know I was cruising on my natural ability but I wasn't surrounding myself with positive people and it wasn't till

one of my best friends in high school ended up dying in it in a car crash

because he's under the influence that I realized that

that could have been me, that I could have been in the car, you know, and so that really kind of was like my aha moment.

I think losing someone that's really close to you at such a young age is, it's a wake-up call.

Perspective, right?

We can

choose the right choices or the wrong choices.

And it's up to us every single day.

It's positive or negative.

And luckily, you know, by going away to the University of Florida, I went away from those friends.

And I look back on it and I realized that soccer saved me.

You know, it gave me something to focus on that I was really darn good at and that I really hadn't been, you know, putting in my all in it.

And so it gave me an opportunity to kind of refocus.

Yeah.

And here I am.

And I'm glad you're here.

Totally glad that you're here.

So let's fast forward now to the gold medal mindset.

What are a couple of pillars of the gold medal mindset?

I kind of went through two of them, giving yourself permission to imagine a positive outcome, to dream,

learning what you can control, surrounding yourself with those positive people that we talked about.

I think finding a great coach or a mentor or taking a class to kind of get you ahead and

be

surrounded by those people that have been through it, that

you know, want to help you succeed and maybe see something special in you that you might not even see in yourself.

Figure out what makes you unique and hone that skill so you become known for it.

I think a lot of times we're into comparing ourselves when instead we should be focusing on us and how we can be the best version of ourselves.

Demand more of yourself because who else is going to do it?

And

don't ever stop until you're successful.

That's it.

I love that.

I love that.

That parallels into a couple of things that are my pillars, right?

So I have seven, but two of my favorite, and I picked these up from sport,

is a great leader knows their team better than their team knows themselves, right?

Meaning, you know how they think, you know the right positions to put them in, and you set them up for success by knowing them better than they know themselves.

And then the second thing that I think all great leaders do, and I got this from Angelo Dundee, Muhammad Ali's trainer, they know when to move move the stool, meaning Ali was tired.

It was round 12.

He was struggling.

His opponent was struggling.

And Dundee made Ali stand up in between that round and said, face your opponent.

And Ali was like, what are you doing?

And he said, if he sees that you're willing to stand up and take this, right?

Then all of a sudden his mind.

is not on the fight anymore.

It's how are you doing it?

And then also by moving the stool, he made Ali do something he didn't think he could do.

And I think that's a great leader.

A great leader knows when to make Heather stand on her own a little bit.

Knows when to make Heather face that adversity, to face that challenge head on, because it's real easy to sit down.

It's real easy to, hey, I need a timeout.

Sometimes in life and sometimes in business, you don't get that timeout.

And so, again, things that I've learned from watching you, my scrappy one over there.

And I put that into my pillars is like knowing when to move the stool.

Because I feel like that's a lesson you learn as well, too.

Yeah, I love those, those are great, yeah, yeah.

So, let's talk a little bit about family for you now.

So, you know, you've got an amazing family, AJ,

you know, I'm a Patriot fan, so you know, there was a little bit of time AJ and I couldn't quite get along.

He played for another team that, you know, we were, we didn't like each other.

But what's family life?

What's mom and wife, Heather, like,

you know,

not getting like teary-eyed.

It's like the greatest, the greatest gift.

You know, I think about it all the time, how lucky I am.

You know, from

the minute I had my first son,

I just feel like my life completely changed.

I was opened up, you know, to this.

different perspective on just everything when someone depends on you

and you have this opportunity to lead.

We're talking about leading, you know, I think there's no greater gift.

And so you learn a lot about yourself.

You know, I've changed a lot,

a lot

through becoming a mom.

What I thought I was going to be like as a mom is not who I am as a mom.

You know, I think I'm

more tender

now than I've ever been.

You know, I was always like that

fight mentality, the hustle, all those things.

And, you know, it has definitely just softened me up and trying to figure out the different personalities.

I have three kids.

So I have an 11-year-old boy, I have a nine-year-old daughter, and I have a six-year-old son.

And just trying to figure out the best ways to connect with each one of them personally

and with their personalities and just to be extremely present um

but i also take lessons from both of my parents you know the things that i loved about them and i try to incorporate into who i am and then say the things that maybe i didn't think resonated as well

um and just try to make sure that i'm doing a better job of of guiding my kids

i love it I love it.

Do you ever have that moment?

I'm sure you do, as a parent where it's like, why did you do that and then you realize oh i probably did that too

i i definitely i definitely did it

um you know that's the the funny part is you know i see a lot of them in me

and so they probably do get away with a little bit more because i'm like you know i turned out the way i did like it's all a part of the journey um so we're just kind of there to to help them along you know and i want them to become their own person.

I want them to be completely confident in who they are, to love them no matter what.

So,

it's a lot of fun to love.

Yeah, yeah, I love it.

So, my next question, I'll make unplugged.

I like to talk about your because

that thing that's deeper than your why, right?

Like, I know your children are your why, but it's the but why.

It's the, it's the, the because,

right?

So,

brilliant athlete, amazing mother, amazing spouse amazing speaker and leader but what's your because

um

because we get one chance you know we get one chance on on this earth to to make an impact

and

there's

There's no other way to do it than just to do your best and

to try to live the most positive life that you can

in the time that we have on this planet.

You know, my dad and I had an amazing relationship and he unfortunately passed at Alzheimer's almost three years ago.

And

so kind of watching his decline, he was the most amazing man, super smart, cardiovascular surgeon, worked his whole entire life for his family,

but never really got to do the things at the end that he always wanted to do you know so I think

I realized from him that our choices that we make every single day make a difference

and

you know

to take advantage of the time we have you know take the trip do the things that you've been saying you wanted to do, but you just never had the time to do it.

Make time for it.

So

just making the most of every minute, every day.

Amazing.

Totally amazing.

You know, another reason, Heather, that I'm a huge fan of yours, aside from playing the sport, you're a huge, huge, huge advocate for equity in not only sport, but also in business and in leadership.

And I don't need to ask how or why that became a passion for you because I know that answer.

But talk to us about the fight that needs to continue to happen for for equity

yeah I mean we've just still got a long way to go um it's night and day

what

I

experienced when I was playing and I love to see the growth but it's just it's still not where it needs to be and

you know,

what I love the most is that there's so many women that are so passionate about this.

So many of my former teammates, so many just friends.

So

it's at the forefront.

And, you know, it's a major topic, and we're all invested.

And so I know it's only a matter of time, but we still have more work to be done.

Amazing.

And whatever, Heather, and I mean this for my soul, whatever I can do,

don't ask you, just tell me and literally consider it done.

Okay.

Absolutely.

All right.

You ready for your hot five, Heather?

Oh, gosh.

Hot five.

You ready?

Uh-huh.

Question: One:

It's a cheat day, cheat meal.

What's your cheat meal?

Handles ice cream.

Handles ice cream.

Yeah, it's the best, though.

So when you come in town, I'll treat you to it.

There's a flavor.

I'm usually pretty boring though.

I do raspberry with

chocolate sprinkles on a comb.

Okay.

I can dig that.

I can dig that.

Stop easy.

Mom Heather,

it's time to cook a meal.

What's your go-to meal that you're cooking?

Prime meatballs.

Ooh.

Easy.

Everybody likes it.

That's the hardest thing when you're a mom is like getting one meal that everybody's going to like.

That's a crowd pleaser.

So that's my go-to.

I'm there for meatballs.

All right.

That's one of my top.

Kelson handles ice cream.

Next time you're in town.

I mean, not together, but

one, you know, which is who calls first.

Just messing with you.

Toughest player you had to defend and why?

Cindy Parlow.

I'm not just saying that because she went to UNC.

Literally the toughest player.

I would say even

more so than Abby Wombach.

So obviously I had to go against Abby a lot throughout my playing career being at University of Florida together.

I think I kind of learned the ways against Abby, but Cindy, ooh, there was no one,

nobody else I would rather not defend than Cindy.

She was

physically

quick.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm having flashbacks.

Back to those UNC days.

Those UNC days.

All right, so putting you on the spot with this question, because everybody's listening, your favorite teammate of all time and why?

This is a hard one.

Uh-huh.

I've had so many.

Hmm.

I mean, I'd have to go back to college.

Those girls are still my best friends to this day.

So

what we built at the University of Florida, what we achieved by winning the national championship.

still one of my best friends.

So I would say Sarah Yoi.

Okay, Sarah.

I like like that.

I like that.

All right, last question for you, Heather.

The book of Heather Mitz-Feely has been written.

The last chapter, the last paragraph.

How does Heather want to be remembered

as someone who

lived vivaciously, who was authentic,

passionate, loving,

and

made an impact on this planet.

Love it.

Absolutely love it.

All right, Heather, how can people follow and find you?

And before we do that, P, shout out to Rose at Players for Good.

How can people book you to speak?

Because if you haven't heard Heather speak, one,

you're lost, but two, the energy, the passion, like,

it is is what you want so how can people book you to speak first and foremost well if you go to players for good

they have all of us listed including you mick um so we're all we're all there and that's the best place on social media um which i'm you know not that busy these days on it since I'm so busy with my kids.

I was going to say, you're at Little League all day, every day.

My main

places that I'm active are on Instagram, HMITS2,

and on Facebook, Heather Mitz fanpage.

There you go.

Heather, I know how busy you are, but like I told you when we first started, this means the world to me.

One of my, you know, Cindy is my favorite soccer player of all time, but my number two

was Heather Mitz.

I promise you.

Given up there.

All right.

I love it.

You were my number two.

Even Mia went to UNC, but she was there before I got there.

So, you know, Mia's number three, but

you were number two.

And I mean that sincerely.

Ah, a true honor.

Thank you so much.

Absolutely.

I really enjoyed our time today.

I did too.

And

anytime you want to be on, you just tell me.

And again, I mean this from my soul, whatever you need, whenever you need from me, consider it done.

You're an advocate.

Thank you for your time, for having me on, for everything that you do.

You're an amazing man.

You got it.

And for all the viewers and listeners, remember, you're because is your superpower.

Go unleash it.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mick Unplugged.

If today hits you hard, then imagine what's next.

Be sure to subscribe, rate, and share this with someone who needs it.

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Until next time, ask yourself how you can step up.