Pasha Palanker: Facing Fear, Building Strength, and Leaving a Legacy of Impact

Hey everybody, really excited for this very special episode with my dear friend Pasha Polanker.

If you want to know the mindset that's needed post-military, post-service, this is the episode for you.

Pasha's going to go through his story, the moment where he had to make a split-second decision to save combat life.

You're going to want to hear that story.

We're also going to talk about some misconceptions.

We're going to go through the things that he's doing now.

now.

And then, in the quick five, we're going to understand where does he feel the most alive?

This episode, I promise, it's going to change your life.

Please join me in welcoming one of my closest friends, Mr.

Pasha Palanka.

Pasha, how are you doing today, brother?

I'm doing great, brother.

Thanks for that amazing intro.

I'm honored and grateful to be here with you.

Dude, like, you know, us, we talk all the time, but it all goes back to what, November of last year.

We meet at one of the Robert Irvine Foundation's events, their year-end beats and eats.

I think our bond became bourbon, right?

Aside from Robert and the team, we were sitting there having a bourbon together, talking about life.

And then I found out all the crazy, cool things that you have done.

Not only just in life, but what you do for others and what your life history has been.

And that bond will never be broken, man.

So one, just thank you for that moment.

Thank you for the moments that you've continued to share with me.

And we'll talk about some of those later.

But, man, just thank you for who you are, Pasha.

I appreciate it.

That means a lot to me coming from you.

Yeah, I think that the bond was bourbon, and it's also authentic, human-to-human connection with a similar passion and purpose.

I think that's really what

bourbon was an easy conversation starter.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Pasha, I mean, we know each other.

But one thing I've always waited to ask you, although we've kind of hinted on it a little bit, is your because, right?

Like, you know, that moment, those moments that keep you driven, those things that keep you

doing the things that you do for others.

What's your because, bro?

Well,

you know, the simple answer is it's my family, right?

My wife and my four boys.

That's what what everybody's gonna come up with but uh but going down deeper level it's it's i found it i found my because

through struggling having

being having been in in very deep dark moments all alone by myself and finding a way out and then being able to help guide others out of that place I found a lot of meaning

in my life and that has become my because

I love that, man.

And speaking of your family, I got to meet them in April, right?

So, a very special moment was had in April at another Robert Irvine Foundation event.

You received,

finally, your bronze star of valor.

And

I've never seen a room of 500 people so emotionally connected at one time.

Walk us through that moment, and then we're going to talk about what you did to accomplish that star, to receive that star.

Okay.

Well, you know, that room and that and that award,

one does not exist without the other.

It took 20 years for that award upgrade to happen because I never looked for it.

But as part of my that moment where I earned that bronze star for valor has been a huge part of my journey.

And when I go and I speak to to audiences, I share that story.

And people would ask me about if I received an award for it now, tell them, and they're like, really?

That's, that's all you got?

And that's what led to people asking me

to look into upgrading.

And then somebody started the paperwork process.

And there was a lot of people in that room were involved in that.

And

And I think that's why everyone, a lot of people there were connected because they either they've heard my story or they've been a part of that process.

And there were some amazing people in that room to include yourself.

And then, you know, the power that Robert has, the influence that he has to bring people together.

Man, I'm telling you, that moment, man, like, one, there wasn't a dry eye in the room, but to hear Robert and to hear CZ talk about you the way that they did, man, like.

It was so heartfelt that I think the viewers and listeners need to understand that journey a little bit deeper.

So walk us through special ops and special missions and some of the things that you've done for our country, brother.

Well, you know,

I'll just share that moment

and why I received that award.

So I was a gunner in my vehicle when

a vehicle driven by a suicide bomber was attempting to ram into us.

And

at a closest point he was just two three feet away from me and I had this moment where the only option I had was pick up my rifle lean over the protective plates that that are around me and and engage him that way and in that moment my mind the rational part of my brain oh that's a terrible idea because I knew what was about to happen and I was like I should just drop down and then if we survive we survive but then I felt this anger unlike anything I've ever experienced.

Like something

primordial, like something shifted inside of me.

And that anger drove me to pick up my rifle, lean over, and engage him straight into the vehicle.

I was able to hit him a few times, which bought us just a few extra seconds.

We were able to pass him.

And then he was remotely detonated.

That vehicle was remotely detonated by

there was another group of terrorists that was recorded, that recorded the whole incident on video

and you know, that was it.

That was 30 seconds, but

the other part of that journey is that that anger that saved my life that day,

it slowly destroyed my life, started to destroy my life a decade later.

I could not turn it off.

I could not

control it.

And while I was young and single, it was not a big deal.

There's a couple of cool stories, road rage or, you know, altercations.

but it's but once i got married and i started to have kids you know the kids will do a kid stuff and and

you know break a glass or spill milk and i would react like i was right back there with the suicide bomber and that was the cause of my downward spiral to where

you know i um i ended up in a very dark place and we can talk about that more if you want to but i'll stop

yeah

yeah i mean you know you and i have had these conversations, but I do think for the viewers and listeners to understand, not necessarily the spiral because

you fight every day to overcome that.

And that's one of the things that I applaud you for.

But I do think it's important for the viewers and listeners to understand how to recognize that in people and the support that they need, man.

Like when you were going through it

at the deepest and darkest times, what were the things that you needed that you know now that you were needing

love

you know love

when you're in that place

When I was in that place, I'll just talk about myself.

I felt like I could not be the father to my kids that I wanted to be.

I could not be the husband to my wife.

I was I was so angry

and

also I felt a ton of guilt.

The anger kept me away from my family.

I was at home, but I was in this room while they were out and doing, you know, family stuff.

And I didn't want to be around them because I was afraid of these angry outbursts.

But I felt guilty that I wasn't around them.

And

I started to feel a ton of like the suffocating pressure.

It felt like two 45-pound plates on my chest.

And, you know, the only thing that would relieve that pressure is numbing that pain through alcohol or through

some other distracting things and every day my life got just a little bit worse

and then on top of that I was told that I have to medically retire out of the army so I was losing my identity as a soldier and that you know put more weight on me and and I was slowly being crushed by that weight and by the world and eventually my mind started to go numb and I just stopped caring about consequences and I arrived at a place where suicide suicide was just, it was just logical.

I felt like they're better off without me.

I'll find peace and relief.

And that's a place, that's a place that a lot of us don't come out of.

And

but the one thing that would make me or anybody else feel better is, you know, a hand on the shoulder, a hug,

some.

some words of

love not somebody telling me you should do this and this and this that's terrible right

right

that makes it worse because

if you're wrong and what you're suggesting to me that makes me feel like you have no idea what i'm dealing with and it pushes me even further into isolation but it's it's just it's just somebody just being present there with me that that's that's the best way to help somebody who's struggling like like i did

wow and for the person that's listening or watching that feels like they're in that moment right now now, right?

What's some advice do you have for them to go seek that love or to

know that there is something coming on the other side that's better?

Well,

I'll tell you what happened with me is,

as tempting as it was, I found enough strength to drive myself to an emergency room at Walter Reed where I got

admitted to the psych word and I spent time in the psychiatric ward, which was not pleasant, but it took away all of the stimulation that that was

crushing me and i i got a little bit of clarity and while i was there i i realized that

i was a victim you know i got terrible care uh through the military channels i i got terrible care from the from the va

and

It's very easy to feel like as a soldier that

they should take care of me, right?

When it wasn't happening i became a victim and when you're a victim you don't see the solutions you just see the problems and you have no control over the situation so while i was at the psych work i decided that i was responsible i raised my hand to volunteer to serve in the military i raised my hands to to join the special operations community and and i decided that it's my responsibility and I need to figure it out.

And this is when, once that happened,

I stopped blaming people and I started to look for answers.

I started to listen to podcasts just like yours.

I started to read books, and I started to learn about what's going on inside of me.

And, and,

and then I, Jordan Peterson's book, 12 Rules for Life, was very helpful to me.

There were two books, uh, Ryan Holiday's, The Obstacle is the Way.

made me look at my situation like this is my opportunity for growth.

And then Jordan Peterson's book just just helped me figure out how to

how to start the process.

Which I started with one simple thing that I would show up for myself, and it was, I would write in the journal, you know, it's like this is, I didn't even know what the

purpose was, but today's the day, and I did it, and it was just the small act,

and then it just made me feel a little better, and then it led to the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and five years later, I'm a different person.

I love that, my man.

I love that.

And what I heard from you, Pasha,

and again, you and I have talked about this, but it's okay to seek help,

right?

Actually, that's what we should be doing.

And it doesn't matter your age, your gender, anything, right?

You don't have to be Superman, Super Woman 24-7.

It's okay to not be okay and to seek help for that, right?

Yeah, especially if

you've been through trauma.

It doesn't have to be combat trauma.

We all deal with something.

It's more than okay to seek help,

help, but boy, it's hard.

It's one of the most difficult things that I had to do.

And

it takes a ton of strength.

It takes a ton of strength.

And that's how you should see it, seeking help

is

You showing the world that you have strength to show up for yourself.

It's like, I need you to to help me.

That takes strength, and that's

that's what I received back once I started speaking out about this stuff.

There's thousands of people

have told me, like,

have expressed to me how much courage and strength this shows, where you think it's the opposite when you're

in that lonely place and afraid to ask for help.

Yeah, yeah, man.

Again, I admire you for for all that you do.

And you've turned this into now you're helping people all over the world, right?

Like you're a huge advocate of mental health.

You're a huge advocate of just having special missions in life.

When did that become a thing for you?

When did you say, okay,

I'm overcoming.

Now it's my purpose to help others.

Well, it happened very naturally.

I never thought I would be speaking publicly about my struggles.

That was the last thing that I thought I would be in this world.

The way it happened for me is once I started to feel better, having been in that dark place, I noticed I could sense when somebody else is struggling.

And I would help a teammate and then another guy.

And then one of the guys invited me to speak to

in front of a veteran nonprofit where I helped a group of people.

And that caused that chain reaction that

opened this whole new world to me

to where I meet amazing people like yourself and

it happened naturally over the past five years and I'm really excited to see where it goes next

I love that dude I love that so let's take a moment and talk about the relationship with Robert Irvine and the foundation so how did that occur and and and we'll go through like some of the things that you're continuing to do with the foundation but but what was the first moment When was the first contact with him?

My first contact with him, obviously I knew who he was, but my first contact with him was in Scotland doing the Kettering Yump, which is a 54-mile race through the Scottish Highlands.

And I was just, I was supposed to be there with CZ.

And last minute, CZ

had to cancel, so I went by myself.

I didn't really know anybody.

So I was just running the yump by myself when I ran into Robert and his team.

And I just introduced introduced myself.

And you know how easy Robert is to talk to, and you don't be anybody special.

And when you're walking for 50-something miles running, there's plenty of time to talk.

So, we just had a natural conversation.

And, you know, I shared a little bit about my journey and my desire to help and impact others, which obviously that's all that he does.

We talked about CZ, and then, you know, that was kind of it.

And

I didn't think I I would run into him again until CZ's retirement.

I didn't even know that they were friends.

And then when CZ was retiring, I came to his retirement and Robert was there.

And we had a great conversation

about the yump.

And then as if it was meant to be, I was like, hey, what do you like?

I'm just curious, what's next for you?

He's like, oh, I'm hosting this Veterans Day parade in Philadelphia live on TV.

And I was like, that's funny because I'm jumping in into Independence Hall with a huge American flag to kick off that parade so naturally our world just just became intertwined and i kept running into robert and and kept meeting amazing people around him

yeah great dude great story i i tell him all the time robert's never met a stranger um for for someone with such celebrity status he literally is yeah the everyday man and and i think that's one of the things i appreciate you know, he's going to call you by your first name.

He's going to make you and embrace you like you're the greatest person on earth that day.

And he genuinely means it and feels that.

And then he'll also call you out.

The bond property.

He'll call you out on your

staff

in a very, in a very encouraging way that will make you better.

Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely.

He's definitely the accountability partner that you want because he's going to give it to you straight, but then also, like you said, encourage you, push you, motivate you, and believe in you.

And I think, you know, that's that's a great trait of Robert.

And it's also something that you have, man, because you motivate and hold me accountable as well.

And

I think that's why we are as close as we are, man.

And I was so honored earlier this year at one of my events to have you.

You talked about parachuting in with the flag, to have you do that.

at one of my events was literally the highlight of that event.

If If anyone talks about anything at my June Lead Loud event, it is the moment that Pasha came in.

And

I was so honored.

And

the technical difficulties we had with weather from a timing perspective,

you had an award for Robert coming in.

But that moment was so beautiful.

And the videos that we have of that, I'm always going to remember.

I'm so grateful you invited me to do that.

That was special.

I think those

difficulties made it extra special.

But man, there's something powerful seeing a star-spangled banner that large

land at your event.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So when

did that become

something that you became passionate about doing?

Not just the parachute jumping, but again, I think when people see it, especially the first time you see it, and you see the flag and the patriotism that's going along with it.

Like, when did you know that that was something you wanted to do for others?

Well, this is also something that happened naturally.

I attended this Warrior Weekend to Remember,

which was hosted by the parachute team.

I was not on the team and that's when I learned about what the team does, what Fast Tracks does.

And it was a very natural fit.

I was a free fall instructor in the Army.

And I love jumping.

Jumping was one of my coping mechanisms because when you're falling out of a plane you forget about your struggles you know you're just there

and uh once i got retired from the army i found out about the team i tried out for the team and the team is just filled with amazing people that love this nation and we get to jump in into some some some high profile

events honoring our nation honoring our heroes it it was it it was an instant instant moment but what i was missing is the skill to be able to fly a flag that big into a stadium or into a small space like Independence Hall.

So it took some time for me to get up on that level.

But it's been a few years and I find a ton of meaning in those jumps.

Wow.

Dude, and they're so special.

I mean, they're heartfelt.

They

have purpose.

And like I said, the patriotism that you just feel immediately, right?

It is second to none.

I mean, mean so much so that all of my friends that were there i think half of them reached out because they also do events or or special deals and they're like we need pasha to come do that for us and i'm like dude it's going to change your life when you see it for sure

for sure

so

i i want to go into you know some of the things you're doing now you know another friend that that we have very close friend to you accountability partner to me chef andre rush right?

I remember when I had him on the podcast or he was coming on, and you were like, dude, that's like, that's my buddy right there.

That's my brother.

And so I messaged him and he's like, how come the three of us have never talked together for the like ever, as much as much as we talk?

But, but you have that special thing, Pasha, about connecting with people and making it genuine, right?

Like, how do you, not how do you do it, but, but why is that important?

Um, you know, I think in a way i've been blessed to to there's something that i was born with to where i'm i'm i'm genuinely curious about about people

just just the human to human connection but i also think the struggles that i went through

i had to go so deep inside of myself and i had to learn about myself in order to come out of that that

Now I'm genuinely curious about other people and

how to connect to people at that level.

And Chef Rush, he's another guy that's so, he's so

a big personality, big in general, but almost no ego.

So easy to talk to.

And with him being a retired Army Master Sergeant like myself, just attending veteran events, working together to influence, empower veterans, that was natural.

So it's in ways it's also, it's easy to be authentic with authentic people.

Yeah.

Totally agree.

Totally agree.

Pasha, you know, again, knowing you, having conversations.

One of the

traits that I love about you and that I actually study from you, and you don't even know this, but I study from you, is your mindset.

You have

not just a sharp mind, but one of the most mentally tough

clarity and decision making.

You have such a strong mindset that I want the viewers and listeners to take away a few things from you.

So I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, right?

So

in your missions, you know, in the military and the things that you're doing now, you know, you've told me decisions are made in seconds, right?

Like you just told us the story of 20 years ago, like you had to make a decision in seconds.

How do you train your mind for clarity when you're under pressure?

Man, that's a tough question.

It comes down to

it comes down to knowing yourself.

You know, one, there's you got to be really good at what you're doing.

So it's a ton of just like in sports, you know, or in war, you know, it's better to bleed in

training so you don't bleed in war.

So it's a ton of training beforehand and then a ton of time with yourself so that when that moment comes and you have a split decision to make, it's your instincts combined with a trust in yourself.

And sometimes you make a wrong decision.

You know, it just happens.

The worst thing you can do is though is freeze and not do anything.

I think that applies to every aspect of life.

That's deep, bro.

And then the second question on mindset

is what role does fear

and And people like to talk about fear like it doesn't exist, but like fear, fear does exist, right?

It might not be a common, it might not be every day, but there are moments, right?

Like, I don't know anyone in the world that I've talked to that hasn't had a moment of fear, right?

What role does fear play in building like an elite mindset?

Well, fear is a great motivator.

Fear is, it's

fear of letting other people down.

When you're in the military, if I don't carry my weight, if I make a mistake, it can cost my teammate his life.

Fear of letting your family down.

Well, it depends on what's important to you, but fear is a motivator.

Either letting somebody else down, letting yourself down.

You know, for us, failure is...

It's sometimes it leads to a life or death situation.

So that's where fear is instrumental.

But it's also as simple as if I'm late to a formation, then there's 30 other guys that are going to be doing push-ups until I show up.

So there's just fear of

everybody, 30 guys hating you, and then you're being on the wrong end of that.

Fear is a motivator.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And then

for

veterans, specifically the veterans that are struggling with identity like after service, what's the first mindset shift that you've realized with yourself that they need to make in order to have a successful transition post-service?

You have to

almost give up your life of service.

That uniform, once it's off, it's off.

That military moves on pretty quickly.

It's still, nobody will ever take that away from you, but you have to start

finding something new.

New hobbies, new mission, new focus.

They can be connected.

For me, for example, the fact that I still jump,

it's a connection to my military service.

I started training jiu-jitsu when I was 41 years old.

But that physical challenge, that adrenaline that comes with jiu-jitsu matches, that's still a connection to the military, but it's not the military anymore.

So, you have to find

it's your job to find something new and meaningful and challenging in your life.

You can hold on to the life that's behind you.

And I'm going to let all the viewers and listeners know: you don't want to mess with Pasha and Jiu-Jitsu.

This dude is a trained assassin.

So,

do you take it easy on your coach, man?

Well, my coach is one of the best in the nation.

So

I definitely

hold my own, but I mean, I've only been doing it for a few years.

I like giving higher belts a run for their money, just

personally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it helps them.

They know your mindset.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like to give them a run for their money.

All right.

Yeah.

For those that don't know Pasha, Pasha is that guy that's like the quiet guy that you don't want to mess with, right?

Like, and you just know by looking at Pasha that that's who he is, right?

He's just the quiet guy.

But it's like, push a button.

Old Pasha will return every once in a while, right?

Like, you don't want him to come out, but every once in a while, it's like, you got to prove that he's still there, man.

I love that, brother.

I love that.

I love that.

Yeah.

Well, when it's play, it's play, right?

When it's play, it's play.

But if it's, if it's a real life situation,

you know, that's a different conversation.

But I think that's how most guys are.

The louder you are, the less people should be afraid of you.

It's just like a chihuahua barking.

My friends say that about me all the time in the business world.

They're like, you know, Mick, you don't talk about the things you're doing.

And I'm like, nah, I was taught to move in silence.

Right?

Like, when you let everybody know what's going on, you're never going to get there because they're going to put obstacles in.

Even the people that you think are on your side are the ones that start to put obstacles in or the ones that don't believe in you like you think that they should.

So I learned at a very young age: move in silence, never be the loudest person in the room, and always observe what's going on because things will just naturally reveal themselves to you.

And I know that you and I are like that.

That's why we shared bourbon.

Everybody else was being loud in the corner or out front.

You and I were sitting in the back corner sipping bourbon.

Yeah.

And that's so true about you because when we talked, we connected.

There was, I didn't know anything about you.

I didn't know you have, depending on the day, sometimes the number one podcast in the world.

I didn't know any of this about you.

You're not just saying this for the camera.

This is until I showed up at your event for the jump and then seeing the people that were there, I was like, man, this guy's unbelievable.

And you let your actions speak louder.

louder than than your words.

And I love that.

I think that's also another reason why we have such a strong connection.

Amen to that, brother.

Amen to that.

But we're so much alike.

We're so much alike.

And I know how busy your days are and how time is so important to you.

So I just feel honored that you spent some time with us today.

But I've got to get you out of here on my quick five, rapid-fire five questions.

You ready?

Let's do it.

All right.

So I've seen you eat, Pasha, but we're going to tell the world.

What's your go-to cheat meal?

Cheat meal,

probably a tomahawk steak.

I knew you were gonna say that,

yeah, yeah,

especially if my kids are around,

and you don't share either, just throwing that picture.

Yeah, I have this great picture with Chef Rush when each of us is holding a tomahawk steak, yeah, and eating it, bite, taking a bite out of it.

Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious.

That's hilarious.

All right, mountains, beach, or battlefield.

Where do you feel the most alive?

I probably feel most alive and present on the beach.

And to me,

it's the beach and the sunsets at the end of the day.

That's when I'm the most present.

I love it.

I love it.

What's one book that every aspiring leader must read?

Especially if you're starting out as 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson.

You can't lead others if you can't lead yourself.

That's been my journey.

I figured how to lead myself.

And then slowly that influence started to spread outside.

And that's how I'm talking here to you.

Love it.

I love it.

Do you have one phrase or mantra that you repeat to yourself on a daily or weekly basis?

Not daily.

It depends on what I'm going through.

If I'm going through something challenging, it's one step at a time.

one step at a time has been and then it's it's you don't have to solve everything in one day but you just make yourself

just a little bit better today than you were yesterday that's it it's about the journey not the destination

i love that brother i love that and then last one

when the legacy of pasha is being written What are some of the words you want to be said in that legacy?

That my life was was meaningful that i made a positive impact on on people around me and and people that i that i don't even know

and uh that through my journey people

uh

know that even the biggest and darkest the worst moments can be overcome

wow

Dude, we have to end on that one, man.

Like, that was,

that's you.

Yeah.

That literally is you.

Like, I can tell you personally

that that story has already been fulfilled, bro.

Because, you know, I tell you, I told you before we started recording, like, everyone in my family talks about Pasha.

Like, coming downstairs to record, my wife is like, tell Pasha I said hello.

That's the impact that you've had on my family and in my close circle of friends.

So that legacy is already living.

Appreciate it.

That means a lot to me coming from you.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Well, Pasha, where can people find and follow you, my man?

LinkedIn, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

Pasha Palinker.

There's only one of me on there.

And then, you know, I don't have any books to sell or coaching programs or any, but I love talking to people.

And,

you know, I'm part of this amazing speaker agency called Liberty Speaks.

And I'll send you the link, and that's where people can find me on there.

And I will tell you, one, we're going to have the link in the descriptions and show notes, but I also want people to reach out to Pasha.

If you want someone at your event that's going to be authentic, that's going to be real, and that's going to touch your audience.

Pasha is that person.

So definitely make sure you're reaching out to him for engagements.

His schedule is busy, so you probably want to reach out now to get him booked because he's every day he's in a different place.

So, Pasha, again, brother, appreciate you so much.

Thank you for the time.

And to the viewers and listeners, remember, your because is your superpower.

Go, Amisha.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mick Unplugged.

If today hits you hard, then imagine what's next.

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And most of all, make a plan and take action because the next level is already waiting for you.

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Until next time, ask yourself how you can step up.