
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Bob Wheeler is a financial expert, author of The Money Nerve, and host of the Money You Should Ask podcast. With a blend of humor and insight, he helps others navigate the emotional side of money. A certified somatic therapist and CFO of The World Famous Comedy Store, Bob integrates holistic growth with his accounting expertise and has climbed some of the world’s highest peaks.
Today, Bob shares his journey towards understanding the emotional connections with money, how financial literacy can be transformative, and the importance of finding balance between financial planning and self-awareness.
Takeaways:
- Money is just a doorway to relationships, beliefs, and the way we parent
- Know your money triggers
- Embrace discomfort for growth
Sound Bites:
"You have a right to have your financial security, and take the chance."
"What do I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I have it? What am I willing to do to invite that into my life?"
Connect and Discover
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bob-wheeler-88029512
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moneyyoushouldask
https://www.instagram.com/bobwheelerr
https://www.instagram.com/awkwardmoneytalk
Website: https://www.themoneynerve.com
Podcast: @Money You Should Ask
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bob.wheeler
Hero Basics: https://herobasics.com/
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Full Transcript
Hey, it's Cole Swindell, and I want to meet you in Austin at the iHeart Country Festival.
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Welcome to Mick Unplugged, where we ignite potential and fuel purpose.
Get ready for raw insights, bold moves, and game-changing conversations.
Buckle up. Here's Mick.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged, and today's guest is a financial powerhouse blending heart and humor with numbers. Founder of The Money Nerve, he is on a mission to reshape how we think, feel, and act about money.
Please welcome the empathetic, the insightful, the transformative, my guy, Mr. Bob Wheeler.
Bob, how are you doing today, brother? I'm doing so great. I so appreciate you having me.
I am honored to have you here. You know, we were just talking offline.
You're out in L.A. and seeing all the tragedies and devastation that's going on out there.
Just glad that you could take some time because I know it's pressing and weighing on the hearts of all the folks that are out in the Los Angeles and Southern California area, man. Well, I appreciate that.
It's been crazy, but LA has really come together and we will rebuild. There we go.
There we go. Bob, man, out of the gate, and I had to write this down so I didn't forget, man.
Like the money nerve. Where did that come from? Like, like what was the money nerve? Like what, what was Bob going through? What was it like? I'm already helping people with this.
I needed to put it pen to paper and make this happen. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, you know, I, so I started a tax practice. I have about a thousand clients.
And what I realized was a lot of my tax meetings turned into therapy sessions and people were breaking down, crying, telling me you're going to be so ashamed of me. And I realized it's a common denominator, right? Money, fear, belief systems, stories, and things we learned as kids.
And I was also doing my own personal work on myself through Core Energetics and Radical Aliveness, which is a body-based somatic therapy, really like, where do we hold stuff? And for me, the money nerves sort of came out of, you know, if you win the lottery, you're like, ah, and you feel that excitement. And if your check bounced, you're like, oh, your credit card is declined and you really feel it.
And so it hits a nerve. And so to me, money nerve was the embodiment of how we hold our finances within ourselves.
And a lot of people are surprised that I tie money to emotions. They're like two plus two is four.
But how do you feel about that? And really getting into the meat and potatoes about what's the underlying drive or decision making that's going on when we're dealing with our finances. I don't deserve, other people deserve it better.
I'm ashamed. I'm scared.
And really starting to just welcome all that in without shame, without judgment saying, oh, that's so interesting. I really get shut down when I have to start talking about money.
You're so right. Like I'm sitting here thinking about it from my perspective and I don't think it matters how much money you have or don't have, right? It's one of those things we try not to talk about it.
What's the angle? If it's not my accountant, why is someone asking? Absolutely. You know, a great example, when you split the bill with a group of friends, do you pay? Do you split it evenly? Do you, I had the water, you had a salad.
Let me pay for everything. I'm benevolent, right? We go through a whole series of internal questions when it's time to split the bill.
You're so right, Bob. You're so right.
One of the questions I wanted to ask, talking about the money nerve, right? Because you talk about triggers behind our financial decisions, right? Like that's exactly where you're going. What are some of those common triggers that that you're seeing, you know, dealing with not just your thousand clients, but people that are coming to you for everyday advice as well? Yeah.
So one of the biggest things, imposter syndrome, I don't deserve this. If people knew the truth about me, negating our experience, negating our education.
I just got really lucky. It shouldn't be happening to me.
There's a lot of shame around our past financial choices. I should have known better if people knew the truth.
I was working with a couple the other day and he's like, you must think I'm so stupid. And because I was asking questions, I don't know the answers.
And so there's this embarrassment like that we all should have learned everything. When in fact, most of us weren't taught by the schools, by our parents.
It wasn't modeled that it's okay to talk about money and it's okay to set boundaries as to when and where you want to talk about money. That's amazing, dude.
Like again, the little things that are big things that I've learned following you and listening to you just are those. And I've always wanted to ask you this question because I'm a believer that those who have done can teach better.
So did Bob ever go through some type of setback and you were like, okay, what's the emotion behind the decisions that I'm making? Because Bob appears to be the everyday man, right? Like you go through the same things that we all go through. And I just love to know, like, did you go through something, Bob? Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely. And, you know, that's the thing.
Yeah. I remember when I had just was getting ready to sit for the CPA exam and I was staying with a friend, we went out to dinner.
I wanted to appreciate him. So I, you know, I, I used the credit card to pay for dinner, declined, second credit card, declined, third credit card, declined.
I'm like, let me write you a check. He's like, let me cover dinner.
I'm like, no, let me write you a check. Bounce the check, right? I was just financially so tight thinking, oh, it'll just work out, but I'm not gonna plan for it.
And I didn't have a lot of financial literacy education. I'm not blaming anybody right here.
It's just, that's the reality. And yes, yes, I, you know, even I've, I've had a couple of homes a few times, every time I go through it, I'm like, they're going to deny me.
I go through all these crazy, even though I've got the credit, I've got more than enough down payment. I've done all the right things.
They're going to personally take me out. Right.
Yeah. I go through the same drama and trauma that a lot of other people go through.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And so the servant heart that you have, the educating mindset that you have, I want to know like, what was Bob's or what is Bob's because? What's that reason? What's the thing that's deeper than your why? Like what makes Bob not only want to do this, but do this affectionately and do this with a servant heart, a heart of gratitude? So for me, money is just a doorway, right? To relationships, to beliefs about our parents, to the way we parent, to the way we, whatever we do. For me, money is one of those doorways where we think it's just about money, but it's really about a whole lot of other stuff.
And for me, I was for a very long period of my life, people used to say, when I started doing
the work, you look like you're trapped in a box. I couldn't, I didn't have a voice.
I was afraid to
have my voice. I wanted to have a voice.
I wanted to have impact. I wanted to let people know they mattered.
I wanted to know that I mattered. And, but I was paralyzed.
There's flight and there's fright and flight. There's also freezes in the middle.
And I was frozen most of the time. My life was fear-based.
Everything that was going to happen was going to kill me. And I literally thought, this will kill me.
And as I started doing my own work and realizing how many other people out there couldn't find their voice, didn't feel they were entitled to have their voice, didn't know how to get there, For me, money was one of those pieces that if I
could start to have a healthier relationship with my money, not be a multi-billionaire, but to just
be comfortable within my means and starting to appreciate that, then I could start to actually
show up fully and authentically and say, this is me. This is how I show up.
You don't have to love
it, but I'm not going to apologize for it. As long as I'm coming out of kindness and service, this is me.
This is how I'm going to show up and I'm going to have my voice. And even if it's shaking and even if I don't know all the answers, I'm still going to show up because that's what I'm here to do.
And that's what we're all here to do. I love that wholeheartedly.
And now I want to get into some tips, Bob. So again, huge follower of yours.
Bob does a lot for free. I'm not saying Bob's work is for free, but you provide a ton of just free resources out there for everyone.
And so I definitely at the end want to give you time for that. But I want to talk to two different people today.
So I want to talk to the business owner first. So if I'm a business owner or, you know, a CFO at a business, what are some things that I need to be looking at from a financial literacy standpoint, whether that's a, and let's say that we're a small business, right? Like what are some things I need to be looking at, Bob? Well, one of the interesting things that I found is many people just go out and start a business.
I'm going to start doing this thing, but they haven't checked in with anybody and it may not have been their field. So if you're jumping into something, I want to open a coffee house and you've never worked in the coffee business, get some people around you that have.
I was at this entrepreneur pitch down in Orange County, and I was just talking to all these different entrepreneurs. One of the guys, he's like, I've been an engineer for 30 years.
I know this inside and out. So when I moved into it, it was a no brainer.
It wasn't beyond his reach because it was his industry. So make sure if you don't know the industry that you've got people around you that can give you good, solid advice.
And I think the other piece in business, when you're starting your own business, learning how to pivot, learning that, no, I got to go all the way. Yes.
You want to show up and give it all your energy, but sometimes if the building's on fire, you need to turn left and go in a different direction. And I think so many entrepreneurs feel like, well, I've put so much money in and so much time in, I've got these sunk costs.
I can't let it go. And being able to just emotionally detach and say, yeah, that's not working.
Let me move a couple inches over this way or this way. Yeah.
If there's one thing that I learned from one of my mentors, Damon John, it literally is just that. Sometimes we feel like business preservation is what we have to do every time.
And so if you're digging yourself into a hole, instead of trying to tunnel your way out, maybe just come out of the hole and say, wait, this isn't the right place to be. I can change this aspect of what I'm doing and do it this way.
But I don't know if it's ego for some people or just the comfort of always digging tunnels that we never see ourselves out and we never take that 30,000 foot view that sometimes we need to that's like, oh, well, I've been going this route. There actually is this other route over here.
Does it mean I might need to learn something different or have new technology or have new systems or have new processes? Possibly. But what I'm doing isn't working.
And so instead of continuing to do something that's not working, let's take that look. I love that, Bob.
Yeah. You know, and for a couple of examples, I had a client who had
started his own business. It was failing.
He was given an opportunity to take a job with six
figures, good six figures. And I said, man, if you take this job, you'll get vacations,
you'll be able to pay off your debt and you'll have control of your life.
And he said, I can't do that. My parents will be so ashamed of me if I don't make this business go.
He ultimately lost the business. And it was really about his parents' approval, which in the end, I'm sure they would have said, preserve yourself.
like take care of yourself right and and I think we sometimes, whether it's shame or embarrassment or what will people say? I had another client started this whole business, education, got into it and said, this is too much work. I'm stopping.
I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm stopping. And then they just took a couple of years off and then relaunched in a different direction that served them much better and was a lot more authentic for them and a whole lot less stress.
Wholeheartedly. And now for that second person, Bob, like I want to talk to the individual now.
And I get these questions quite a bit, but Bob's the expert. So Mick doesn't have to answer these questions anymore.
We're going to get it straight from Bob. So I'm a person.
Financial literacy isn't something that I know, but like Bob is saying, when I apply for something, I have confidence before I press send. And the moment I press send, it's like, oh my God, nothing's going to happen.
It's not going to work. For that person that no financial literacy foundation, what are some things that we can do just with the basics of just understanding finances and how money is working? Hey, it's Cole Swindell, and I want to meet you in Austin at the I Heart Country Festival.
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Well, the first thing that I, you know, there's a couple of things that I do before even jumping that. The first thing I do is sit down because I know I'm getting ready to do some thinking about how I want to move forward.
And then I take a deep breath and just go, let me arrive with myself for a minute. And then for me, and for some people, this is why I'm crazy, but I got to tell you, it's so important is just start journaling.
What do I want? What do I, do I need to learn more? Do I need more education? Do I need an expert? Do I want to have retirement? Do I want to, what do I want? Like, how do I want to show up financially? Because if I don't know that, I don't know, do I need to get more classes? Do I need to find an expert? Do I need to find an accountability buddy that we can go through our numbers together? Do I need to create a budget? So for me, taking a breath and just getting to know myself for a minute and stopping all the distractions that are coming at me and just what does Bob need in this moment what's not what do I feel is not working or what could be better what would I like to change and all right okay great so oh I probably need an expert for that I might need to get some. I might need to go to a credit bureau and have some conversations.
And because there's a lot of great resources out there. So for me, that's where we start.
And the other thing that I really recommend to people, and this works in so many different situations, including diet, lifestyle, everything else. what, why, why, what, what, why, why, what, what do I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I have it? What am I willing to do to invite that into my life? Because if I want a fancy car and the reason I want it is because it's shallow and it's flashy, I'm not going to judge that because that's the truth.
Right.
Right.
And if I know that that's the reason I want to look cool, great.
Now I'm going to, there was a guy I knew that he wanted to look really cool, have fancy cars.
So he used to go out and find half a million dollar cars for a hundred thousand dollars,
right?
He would look for the deals.
Right.
Because that was important to him.
And I'm not making a judgment here about what should or shouldn't be important to you.
Thank you. And it's important to say, why do I want it? And why don't I have it now? What am I willing to do for some people? It's give up their integrity.
I'm not willing to do that. Um, but am I willing to work harder? Am I willing to change my mindset? Am I willing to ask for help? Am I willing to say, I don't know.
Wow. That to me is a magic recipe for whether it's weight loss, whether it's medical situation.
Why am I not taking care of myself? What do I, what do I really want? the great philosopher Bob Wheeler. I felt like you were talking to me for a moment there, Bob.
I felt like you were talking to me for a moment there, Bob. I felt like you were talking specifically to me.
I love that. I really do.
And I want to go a little bit further too. So we talked about some tips.
What are some red flags or what are some traps that people can avoid? What are some common traps that you're seeing that's like, hey, if you want to make sure that you're not going down the wrong path, make sure you look out for this. What are some things that people can do or what are some traps that are out there? Well, one of the traps is I'll deal with it next week.
I'll deal with it later. And so for me, even if it's uncomfortable, spend five minutes looking at your bank account.
Now, if it's really traumatic for you, have some fun with it. I love humor, right? So open up that bank account online and go, hey, money, are you working for me today? Bring your friends in, get your big friends, get the Ben Franklin's coming in, right? Start talking to your money because you're in relationship with your money.
So have some fun, but don't spend a lot of time initially. And like, if you're in relationship, if you have a partner, you live with your parents, set up a money date and just agree to talk about money for 10 minutes initially, 15 minutes just to get it.
oh, this didn't kill me. This isn't so bad.
So those are the first couple of things. Just dip your toes in.
Look at the statement. I think a real big piece of advice that's really super helpful, pull out your credit card statements and your bank statements and go through and look for charges to see what you're charging on a monthly basis that you don't even use.
And your phone bill.
Bob, that last year.
Yeah.
I found out and I feel like I have a handle on things, but I found that I had $500 a month of things I was paying for that I either thought I canceled, didn't know I really had something that I signed up for 10 years ago, 10 years ago is an exaggeration, but three or four years ago that I forgot that I was paying for. And that was just me.
Like I probably, if people do what Bob just said, I promise you, you're going to find a car payment that you had somewhere that you could actually pay for through other things that you had. Like you're going to have three or $400 that you're spending that now it's like, oh, I do have money extra for my car payment.
Or, you know, we can go out to dinner once a month now because I've been paying for this. Like Bob, that right there, I personally took bad advice from you.
Listen, it's so crazy.
I, uh, I looked at my phone bill and I was paying for a free iPad that they told me it
was free.
And I didn't look at my bill cause it's the phone bill.
It's real.
And then I started looking, I'm like, why do I have six phone lines on my phone bill?
Yeah.
I had something tied to my car, you know, like it was crazy. Yeah.
Just because we like, and that's for me too, right? Double checking. Wait, is everything going on? The other thing is don't let it sit.
Looking at the bank statements, especially if you have a business, I had a client, she checks her books like every six months. There had been fraud about About $30,000 was taken out of her bank account.
But because she waited five, six months after the fact, the bank's like, if you had said something within the first 60 days, we would have gotten you all that money back. But you waited a half a year.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's crazy. Totally crazy.
So another thing going down almost that same path, especially for businesses, I think checking your monthly statements is extremely critical. But let's talk about, Bob, like how important is credit, right, to both businesses and for the individual? Like I've learned so much again from you just on not just credit availability, but understanding the importance of credit.
So I kind of teased it, but how important is credit, Bob? Look, credit's part of the system. You don't have to like the system.
One of the reasons it's good to know the rules is so you can play the system. But credit's part of the system.
And if you want to be able to get a house, unless you've got cash, which most people don't, if you want to be able to get a car, we're talking the difference of paying 5% or 9% potentially on a car or some item or on your house. And so now I would say personally that personal credit is a little more important than business credit.
Right. Because a lot of businesses, you personally have to guarantee it anyway.
And so they're going to come and look at your personal credit. I used to work for a company that's incredibly, it went public and it's big now.
But back in the day, they had like 12 vans. And the owner had to sign personally guaranteed for every one of them, even though they were making $10 million a year.
And so I would say, focus on your personal credit because that is the most important. Now, if you can avoid signing personal guarantees, I would also say avoid signing personal guarantees because you're personally guaranteeing it.
Um, you know, but credit, it is important to maintain it. Is it the end of the world? If you don't have great credit, it's not, but you're going to, your money's going to go a little further when you've got that credit, when you're maintaining that, because it's sort of silly.
You have to have money and good credit to be able to get more debt, right? Cause they want to know that you're responsible with it. Yep, totally agree.
So I have written down here because, again, following Bob, being a huge fan, I also feel like Bob is a part-time comedian, right? So how important or what role does humor play into the work that you do, Bob? Well, it plays a big part because most of us are real defensive when somebody's asking us questions about our money and about our choices. So for me, when I can tell a funny story and the client sitting across from me goes, you're talking about me.
Oh, was I? No, no, no. I was just I was talking about this.
They're like, ha ha. Right.
But it, it lets our guard down. And I also think we got to be able to laugh at ourselves.
We can't take life so serious. Yeah.
That was really dumb on me. What was I thinking? You know, I wouldn't do it again.
We got to be able to laugh at it instead of like, that's, that's who I am for the rest of my life. It's defined me.
One incident from 20 years ago never gets to, no, we're not going to get, you know, marked with the, you know, scarlet letter. We get to move on from it.
And so you got to be able to laugh. And I just find it's a way to disarm and get people to really, like, not take everything so serious.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
So what all does Bob Wheeler have going on?
Now let's talk about Bob.
Let's talk about businesses you have,
where you're at on social, what new is upcoming.
This is like the Bob Wheeler moment on Makeup.
So, you know, my bread and butter has always been accounting.
And ironically, I went to school to be a lawyer. I was just taking accounting to help my grade point because it was an easy class.
Never thought I was going to be an accountant. And then I became an accountant and thought, well, I'm just going to do this until I can figure out what business to start.
And not realizing that I had already started my business. So that's burned my bread and butter.
I'm the CFO and COO of the comedy store in Los Angeles and in La Jolla. Um, so I get to work with a lot of amazing people.
And that again was, I was doing comedy and Mitzi Shore called me up and she's like, you gotta help us out. I'm like, no, thank you.
And 27 years later, uh, here I am. So that's been amazing, which also helped me to build my other businesses because they didn't have money at the time when I when I jumped into help.
And then last year I launched Hero Basics apparel brand. And for me, the concept is the world needs more heroes.
How are you going to show up? Yeah. And really promoting kindness and paying it forward in service.
So. And for me, the concept is the world needs more heroes.
How are you going to show up? And really promoting kindness and paying it forward in service. So Hero Basics was the newest thing.
And I've written a couple of books. I'm writing, working on a couple more.
And then I do workshops when people are feeling so inclined to explore their money nerve. And I do money coaching and counseling with individuals and couples.
So your workshops, I want to talk about it and promote those for sure, because again, a huge fan of the work that you do and the heart that you have. How can people access those workshops and what can you expect in those workshops? Yeah, the best way to find out about the workshops is going to themoneynerve.com.
Not nerd. I'm a nerd, but it's themoneynerve.com.
And, um, and if there's, and I've gone, I've traveled internationally, I've done stuff in other States. And so sometimes people reach out and say, Hey, I've got 10 people.
We'd love to do a workshop and I'm off to Portland. Um, and what we do in those, the, the workshops are more experiential.
We touch on a whole lot of money stuff, but we actually go in and actually have experiences around it so that we can actually embody the stuff that we've been holding. And it's pretty profound for people to discover that they've had a dream that they've suppressed or that they've been blaming their parents for something, or they've been punishing themselves just to not let their parents praise them.
It's amazing what we uncover when we're ready to do the work, feel a little uncomfortable, and then learn to stay. Because one of the things that I think in this day and age, we're not taught how to stay in uncomfortable situations.
We run the minute we hear something we don't like or a word triggers us. We have to learn to stay and say, you know what? I'm staying.
I don't like this, but I'm going to work through it instead of avoid it. Yes, sir.
I love that, Bob. How often are you at the comedy store? I perform there on Monday nights in L.A.
I go down to La Jolla Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then I do other clubs here and there just to have my creative outlet.
All right. So I am in L.A.
first week of April. OK.
I'm coming to see Bob. Don't act like you don't remember me, Bob, when I get there.
Remember the little people? I remember everybody. I'm one of the little people.
I'm five. No, sir.
No, sir. No, sir.
Bob, any last words of wisdom that you have for the listeners and viewers? You have a right to have your voice. You have a right to have your financial security.
And take the chance. Take the chance.
Push through it. It's waiting for you.
We all have a right to have our voice and have the opportunity to have the life we want. So go for it.
Stop hesitating. Bob, you're amazing.
I appreciate you, brother. So honored to have you on.
The funny finance guy is what I call you. Just honored to be a part of your circle.
And for everybody, definitely don't just follow Bob,
but like reach out.
Like Bob's very personal.
Like you reach out, Bob,
he's going to respond back to you.
I promise you.
Like that's just who Bob is.
Reach out.
We love, we just love helping people
find the resources to have the life they want.
There it is.
And for all the listeners and viewers,
remember your because is your superpower. Go unleash it.
Thank you for tuning in to Mick Unplugged. Keep pushing your limits, embracing your purpose, and chasing greatness.
Until next time, stay unstoppable. plus see the show with some real VIP treatment that sounds like a good time no purchase necessary
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