2025.09.02: Weird Beard

What's something that you really hate about a guy?

When I'm trying to go to the bathroom on 6th Street and they're like, hey, can I ask you a question?

Hey!

We're recording the podcast!

Get up!

Good!

Morning to you, wherever you are, because it is

for August 2nd, 2025.

My name is Bertie Burns.

Going to be sitting right over there is Ashley Burns.

She's not here right now.

We're having one of those mornings where we're trying to get out of the house.

We're doing like 15 things at a time.

So I thought everyone could relate to having those mornings where you're like taking a trip.

In this case, we're taking a road trip out to the Isle of Skye, which is when people come visit us.

It's always one of the

most requested places to go.

It's a very picturesque part of Scotland.

So we're heading off to Isle of Sky today.

And Ashley's staying here.

And we're doing a bunch of stuff like running around, getting kids to school, everything like that.

So I don't know what she's doing outside because in the middle of all this,

my god damn sim.

I did the dumbest thing.

I should know better.

I had a sim in my phone.

I wanted to add a second plan because in the UK, you can get another mobile phone line for like literally like five bucks.

I mean, it's incredible how much cheaper it is in the UK versus the US.

So I thought, you know what, I'm going to add another.

Phone line to my phone just in case I get into a place where there's no signal up in Isle of Sky because it's very rural.

It's even more rural than where we live.

So I did, it's the button was there.

It seems so easy.

I hit convert to eSIM on my main line, which was a physical SIM.

And then it disabled the SIM.

And then when it went to go activate the eSIM, it goes, huh, can't do that.

Hmm, weird.

And then just deactivated my entire phone line.

So I've been on with tech support all

day today, which is now two hours into the day.

And of course, they can't help me.

And it's go through everything, all these security questions.

They ask me a bunch of passwords that I never set up, pin numbers, none of my pin numbers that I were used for anything worked.

I'm pretty sure I just got like completely fished.

They have all my personally identifying information.

But at the end of it, of course, the guy on the line goes, you know, he gets another department in.

He gets his tech support on the line.

Everything like that.

And then, of course, the solution is, oh, you just need to go into the store and they'll fix it for you.

What do they have in the goddamn store that you don't have in the national home office?

And it's such like Ashley and I said the other day, when you used to do something for a living, you are either completely tolerant and accepting of everything that happens to that person when you're needing that service yourself, or you're completely intolerant of them doing a bad job.

Guess which one I was today?

Would you like to take a guess?

It would be the latter.

Yeah.

So they, uh, they tried to send me into the store.

So the long story short is I'm not with that phone company anymore.

Or I have a different phone company now.

So, uh, we're heading out to Sky, and uh, that's about

well, I would be in the car maybe a total of like eight hours today, and probably won't drive more than like 250 miles.

It's really weird when you get up in this part of the world and you get to these single-track roads, which is essentially a two-way road, but it's one lane, and you just have people coming at you, and you just have to like have heads up, look for the front of a car or headlights or something.

And maybe in some places, maybe they'll have places where they're called passing places where you can pull over and let the oncoming traffic pass you by.

But when you get up in Sky, I'll have to take a photo of one of these.

When you get up into Isle of Sky, some of these places are like you're literally hanging off the side of a cliff and you're having to do that.

We have to do that in little country roads where you have like hayfields around you.

This is like you're doing that and your tires are on a drop that's like 300 feet down to a river that then feeds into a waterfall.

It's like the beginning of an Indiana Jones scene or something like that.

But it'll be fun, and we'll have a lot of cool photos.

And then hopefully, our special guests will be on Wednesday, and we can

tell you all about our trip to Sky.

But we also had some cool stuff.

We're going to get back to the morning shouts a little bit later this week.

I've got a bunch of them banked up.

So thanks to everybody who sent in their morning shouts.

Hey, Ashley, Ashley's just joining us now.

I was telling them that we have a, uh, one of those mornings everyone can relate to where everyone is rushing to get out the door and we're all doing different parts of our life right now.

You're going to love this.

You know what the ultimate solution for the mobile phone company was?

Get a new account.

No, well, I did, and I'm, I'm off of them because that account is canceled.

But the ultimate solution was on tech support was they got their internal tech support and they escalated.

And then they said, you know what you need to do?

Just go into the store and then they'll fix it for you.

Like the store has the magical button that, yeah.

I was talking about the single track roads too up in Sky.

If you want to look this up, you can try to look this up.

I'll let you try to spell it on your own.

Look up a place called Kwirang.

It's in the Isle of Sky.

I don't know what language that is.

I guess it's some ancient Celtic name that they have, but Kwirang.

I've never run into a Scottish word that has a Q in it before, this one.

But it's still, you know what?

There's something about it, though.

It's a good word.

Look for like the Kwirang sounds like...

a really dope hike.

Imagine if

you've seen those photos of like it's a cliff wall and there's goats somehow just standing on the side of the cliff.

Add like a scared tourist in a Peugeot rental

right between two of those goats and that's what it looks like.

Well, also because remember driving along a lot of those roads, there aren't there's not like fences on the pastures for the sheep.

So just like there's sheep on the side of the road.

Oh, yeah.

And these roads are so tiny that there's if you see another car coming, you better start to make a plan.

Yeah, you and you have to have your head on the swivel looking for them too the whole time.

So this will will be a short one because we are heading out the door.

But I was talking about how we've got a lot of Morning Somewhere shouts buffered up.

But if you want to send yours in, you can send us shouts at roosterteeth.com.

We also, I got to say this, and we should look up the name of the person who did the incredible 3D rendering in their CAD program.

But we were talking about our bathroom last week.

Someone did a full ready.

Wasn't bad of the bathroom.

I've seen some sketches and everything.

And I was like, cool, cool, I like it.

And then saw a full 3D rendering of our theoretical bathroom and I was like wow that's that's pretty cool there was another one like this where I tried to describe remember that stupid gate at the Russia T Studios where you had to trigger the gate by being on the wrong side of the road yes and I was trying to explain how this is to people and like they got together a team of people got together and got a satellite image of the studio and then showed the flow and how it could be fixed as well I was like that was the beginning of our experts this is how you fix the thing

done easy peasy we also got correct actually you should know you got a scathing comment.

Oh,

yeah, fair enough.

That you don't know how to pronounce the river Tame.

You didn't know.

Here's the thing.

It's Thames.

And I should know this.

I should know this.

And I always like, I always get in my own head about the pronunciation of the Thames.

I should know because I listened to a book called The River, or a whole series of books called The Rivers of London, narrated by a British dude.

And the Thames is a character.

The river is like the river goddess is a character, Mama Thames.

And she gets referred to a lot.

I should know this, but I always get in my head and go, but it's an A.

Ashley, I can't help it.

You don't worry your pretty head over there about this.

Let me make a wild assumption here that the person correcting you about the pronunciation of the river Thames,

that person is probably English.

Who are you to tell other people how to pronounce proper names in other languages, you motherfucker?

Or you take a holiday to Italy or Spain

and correct us from there, you jackass.

You've mispronounced everybody's proper names, the entire history of your country.

This is what it feels like.

This is what maps are made of.

This is what it feels like, motherfucker.

Maps are made of, ah, close enough.

Isn't that also why there are 8 million things called

like Avon, I think, in the UK?

It's like there's a, because a Roman dude would go, what's that?

And someone would go, what, the river?

And they'd go, oh, you call it, its name is Avon.

So there's like the river river all over the place.

Is that right?

Oh, yeah.

There's loads of rivers.

They're named River.

I didn't know where that came from.

In various languages.

So they heard that

my Roman might not be up to snuff.

Did they think that the pronunciation of the word river was Avon, or is that the Roman word for river?

I think, well, okay, this is all supposition on my part.

Archaeologists, please weigh in.

But it's that they would say, like, what is this?

And so you'd go, like, what?

That's a river.

right but you'd say like that's uh avon and they'd go ah this river's name is avon oh i see okay okay so it's one of those like cute little miscommunications that just resulted in a billion rivers named river i am we one of the things we're going to do on the way to sky today is we are going to pass get ready americans get ready i'm about to say it we are going to pass loch ness ashley you and i no you're not in the card all me and my guests are going to pass loch ness what an amazing moment for people who live and are visiting Scotland.

I mean, they're going to see Loch Ness for the first time.

I am so thoroughly prepared for them to be whelmed by this experience because everyone is the same way.

It's like, I can't believe we're going to Loch Ness.

I don't even think about it.

We live fairly close, like a couple hours' driving distance from Loch Ness, which was the only thing I knew about Scotland really before I moved here.

And as a kid growing up, it's all I knew about Scotland at all.

Right, you knew about Loch Ness and you knew about the Loch Ness monster.

That was the extent of education about Scotland.

It's cool.

Oh, and also we saw that Mel Gibson movie.

It's kind of wild how not important that is to this area.

Well, you know why?

It's because every time we drive by and you're going, where's Nessie?

Where are you?

Where are you hiding?

And all the shops are dedicated to Nessie.

All of the, like heading out of the city Inverness towards Loch Ness, there's all this like Nessie-themed stuff.

And guess what?

You never see?

Motherfucking Nessie.

You know what I just realized?

I was going to say that Loch Ness has now been replaced by sightings of Tom Holland in Spider-Man.

This is weird.

Tom Holland is also in The Odyssey, isn't he?

Yes.

So, which is also filming here.

Do you think that the busy dude?

It could also be that The Odyssey seems like one of those projects where there's a lot of moving pieces and it's one of those long filming things.

So his part of the filming may be offset at a different time.

Is that just an incredibly or he just like commutes?

He's commuting between the studio in London and up to the shores of Scotland or wherever.

Glasgow, up to Tilbucky.

But it's weird, though.

That would be really weird scheduling that he ends up in the same country, like within a couple hundred miles of each set, but he's not on the set on the coast for Odyssey.

He's just in Glasgow for, what is it, brand new day or whatever?

I guess.

Did they give up on the home stuff?

For Spider-Man, they've just done?

Homecoming and I mean, I think that was a trilogy.

I think that was a trilogy.

That was like the home trilogy

or something.

And now they're moving on on to maybe now it's a day trilogy.

Yeah,

it could be.

So

brand new day.

One more day.

The last day.

Is he

Marvel?

Gravity Well, here we go.

Is Spider-Man now in more Marvel movies than anybody else?

Got to be getting close.

I think Ant-Man, weirdly enough, had probably

one of the best runs for appearing in stuff.

I don't know.

I mean, up to recently-ish, like, you know, Endgame, I almost would have said Black Widow would have appeared in Tony Stark's also in all the Spider-Man movies up until Endgame.

He isn't.

Yeah.

So

at some point, listen, I got to say, I got to point this out.

At some point, we got to get together and have a discussion about Anthony Mackey's beard at the end of Endgame.

At some point,

we got to have enough distance from it to be able to talk about it.

It's coming.

That day is coming eventually.

Look,

there's something about Marvel beards in general.

They're like, how will they know they're in a comic book movie?

Give them a weird ass beard.

I would have loved to have been in the the makeup trailer that day when they came up with that beard for Anthony Mackey at the end of Endgame.

You say that, though, but like all the beards are cut.

Like Doctor Strange has got a weird beard.

Tony Stark has a weird beard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This one is a choice, though.

It's a definite choice.

They're all choices.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

It's like, but it's like, it's such a pivotal scene.

It's like the last scene of the 10-year journey of the Marvel series.

And then they get the...

Yeah, but Tony Stark's also got the weird ones, too.

He's got very weird ones.

He's got lots of weird ones.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's just

the beard person over at James Willems used to always talk about the wigs at Marvel and how much he couldn't say on the wigs.

I think the beards need a conversation.

Maybe, what if the beards are also wigs?

Oh, wow.

And it's the same guy.

You want beards?

Yeah, you know, does Robert Downey Jr.

going home with that beard every day, or is it do they just peel it off?

Do you remember when you had to have a mustache while you were filming Laser Team?

And I couldn't look at you for a while.

I loved it, man.

I loved it.

And when I had to shave for it, I shaved a handlebar

mustache.

Because when you're a guy, if you're shaving off a full beard, you decide to experiment experiment all the way down.

Right, do it.

Do it like one step at a time, right?

You get the mutton chops, and then, you know, you get the goatee, and then like play around with having maybe a goatee with no mustache.

Just so you don't get corrected again by this English dude.

What's the name of the person who did the AutoCAD drawing that we can point people to?

I'll find it.

But

what people commonly refer to as a goatee is not a goatee.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm working from memory here.

I think it's a Van Buren, I think.

I would never wear it anyway.

So it doesn't matter to me.

Well, you know who would?

Who's that?

Tony Stark.

Tony Stark.

Wong, for some reason, has a weird beard.

Everyone has weird beards.

They all have weird beards.

He doesn't have a weird beard.

He's got Wong is a gem.

He's a lovely guy.

Oh, oh, yes.

I hope he gets his tuna milk.

The sketch up of the bathroom is by user I'm a gay furry.

I'm a gay furry.

Well, congratulations, I'm a gay furry.

You pretty much nailed our bathroom.

The layout of the bathroom is weird.

And of course, we didn't tell you where anything in the bathroom was.

Aside from the shower against the wall.

And that you have to walk through it.

Like it's between our two sinks that we have in separate parts of the bathroom.

Like they're not a side-by-side sink at all.

Like you have your part of the bathroom and I have my part of the bathroom.

It sounds gigantic.

It's not a gigantic bathroom.

There's also a bench.

It's not a gigantic bathroom at all.

But it's like and somewhere in there, a toilet.

And somewhere in there is a toilet.

And no bidet for some reason, even though we moved to Europe.

No, but that's something I think we need to explore.

But we've got to figure it out because we got that our tank is like high.

The tank is up near the ceiling.

And so that's going to require some additional.

Just making this worse, Tim.

Making all of this worse.

There's also a globe light in there.

The light is one of my favorite things in the house.

Why is it in that bathroom?

I don't know, but it's such a great light that I'm not going to ask too many questions about it.

Also, the wall that is on the exterior of the house is painted like an outdoor mural, but only in grayscale.

It's a weird bathroom.

Well, otherwise you might think you're actually outside.

You might screw up and start heading for the woods.

Yeah.

Can I tell you my favorite thing that's happening in the news?

Yes.

CEO's gone wild.

Okay, this is a trend now.

Once was like, okay, a coincidence.

Now I'm solidly calling it a trend.

We've got CEOs behaving badly and going viral for it.

So first there was.

Is this new?

Okay, go ahead.

Well, first there was Cold Play Guy, right?

Yeah.

And everyone.

I feel like he's the Cold Play guy.

He's like the CEO of Cold Play at this point in everyone's collective social memory.

And everyone knows the Cold Play CEO guy, right?

And behaving badly.

He's got ousted from his company, Astronomer, that does something.

I still don't understand what it is.

Logistics.

Well, the new thing is there was at the U.S., is it the U.S.

Open, right?

Has been happening.

Oh, yeah.

And one of the players signed his hat and handed it to a kid.

And there was a dude standing next to this kid.

He intercepted the hat.

The player was getting distracted, right?

Someone else is like calling for him to sign something, whatever.

And so he looks to the side.

And this dude grabs the hat, like right out from in front of the kid.

Like, the dude was seriously, he was, the player was clearly handing it to the kid.

This dude just

swipes this hat and then he's celebrating it.

And then he puts it in his wife's bag, and they're like, ha ha, taking pictures, and they're having a great time.

So happy with them.

You say that it was clearly for the kid.

It was clearly for the kid.

I was at the point where it's like, you know, benefit of the doubt, that's a weird situation.

If it's somebody you really admire and they're right in front of you, you can get tunnel vision and not realize what's happening.

The problem with that is

he like beyond double down on this on some kind of not even social media, but like a press release announcement saying, first, in regards to taking a hat from a kid, first come, first served.

That's the way I live my life.

Also, if you say negative things about me online, I'm going to sue you.

Yeah, like it was to the point where I assumed when I was first reading this that it was like someone pretending to be him because no one could

actually like make that statement in all seriousness.

Well, we need his voda phone security to verify his information so that they know they're talking to him.

And then I was like, oh, he's probably one of those like, I don't know, sigma guys, you know, like the like alpha CEO types.

And they're like, yeah, he goes, um, let me see.

Here we go.

It's just a hat.

If you were faster, you would have it.

Regarding online hate, I remind you that insulting a public figure is subject to illegal liability.

So he's basically threatening to sue anyone who says bad stuff about him as a result of this event, which knowing the internet is going to go great.

Am I kind of weird too?

Didn't he refer to himself very specifically as a public figure when he was mentioning that?

Yes.

Like he's like, I'm a public figure.

You can't say bad stuff about me or I'll sue you.

That's literally the opposite.

Like labeling yourself as a public figure kind of suspends the liability of saying things about you publicly.

And that's kind of like how

operate, right?

It's like they operate under the notion that because you're a public figure, you don't have a right to privacy.

Oh, yeah.

And people will back that up all day long.

If you're like, yeah, but it's weird.

The double down is weird.

But yeah, before I saw that, I thought, oh, I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

There's no benefits here and no doubts.

I stole his hat because I wanted to, but why would he need it if he already had five signatures from everyone?

I also deserve something.

And it doesn't mean you should persecute my company.

Did he say I stole?

Yeah.

He said I stole.

It's a translation.

Yes,

it's a translation because we don't speak speak Polish.

But yes.

This is the gist, as I understand it, of his statements.

Oh, my God.

You know, you're trying to avoid being sued now?

Good luck over there.

I'm just saying that I think this is headed for a lot more internet fun in the vein of the Cold Play CEO.

Admittedly, this isn't, you know, following up on the alleged Luigi Mangioni,

you know, killing of a CEO in the U.S.

But this is still like, there's a lot of CEOs takedowns happening lately, and I'm kind of on board with it.

One of my favorite experiences with seeing someone have that tunnel vision in person of seeing someone, you know, that they watch online or in TV or whatever was a person came to see us at Comic-Con when we were signing DVDs and

they signed their DVDs, you know, a little.

little chit chat normal.

It's a con appearance, you know, we're at the booth and we're talking.

To exchange some nice pleasantries.

And then they stood off.

They took like a step off to the side of the table.

So they were at the corner of the table, standing right there.

And then we were like talking to some other people and signed a couple more DVDs and they moved on and everything.

And then the person was still standing there at the corner of the table.

And I looked over and I had this thing I would do all the time to flex my memory, which is I would just learn everybody's name.

It's like I'm at a con for seven hours.

Something you're really good at by the way.

Because I did it all the time.

You've put a lot of practice into that skill.

Like I would try to remember every person's name in like a 60 to 90 minute signing, which is usually 60 to 90 people-ish, maybe called 60.

So I tried to do it, which it's hard to remember 60 things, but I'd make an effort to do it.

And it was just something that I like to do with myself, you know?

And I don't remember his name now, but then I go, hey, Bill, I go, I go, sorry, do you need something else?

And he goes, no, I don't need anything else.

And then we just sat there looking at each other for some reason.

Pregnant paused and he goes, I don't seem to be able to leave.

And I'm not really sure why I'm leaving, why I can't leave.

I'll be very honest.

But I'm just standing here and I don't know why I just can't leave.

And I said, okay, Bill.

Well, you just, you know, whatever you need to do to work that out.

And then after about 10 minutes, he was like, all right, that's enough.

And then he left.

But I loved his like immediate, honest analysis of his own situation.

I love it.

I want to leave.

I just don't seem to be able to do it for some reason.

The head understands, but the feet aren't moving.

And then he threatened to sue everybody in announced.

Oh, God.

I just, I can't wait to see how this is going to continue to develop.

Listen, here's your best bet.

If you're in stands and at a public event or whatever, just look around and know if there's a kid around you.

That's a problem.

Like, you don't even stand up.

Don't cheer.

Like, the kid gets whatever and you just stay out of the way.

I feel like there are two tiers when it comes to this sports memorabilia stuff.

There's kids, and then there's everyone else.

I do like, though, there is a great example of ladies figure in there somewhere as well, somewhere, but they are definitely lower priority than kids.

One of the best.

For sports stuff, I mean, for sports stuff, I feel like they're pretty equal with the dudes.

I saw this great thing one time that the announcers like called it out where this kid goes to the baseball game with a baseball mitt.

He's on, you know, the outfield wall.

He catches a ball there and then he turns it around.

He's like, I want to say he's like 12.

And he hands it to these like teenage girls behind him, like these 18-year-old girls.

And they're all like, oh my God,

and everything.

The announcers like replayed it.

The kids swapped the ball out in his glove and gave him a sword.

They were like, yeah.

It was so funny.

We'll have to find that clip and he won on a number of levels.

He won on a number of levels.

He got the ball and somehow got the cool moment as well of being the selfless dude.

And still, even when he was revealed to be.

Where was he keeping the extra ball?

He must have had a ball in his glove like another one.

And you could see him like swap it out and give the girls the other ball.

I love it.

I love it.

I love everything about it.

That's scamp.

Not the home run ball.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, we're off to Isle of Sky.

Ashley, who do we have to thank for being our tour guides today?

All right, big thank you to tour guides Fraza Fraz and Jake Coger.

Thank you both so much for sponsoring this episode of our show at patreon.com slash morning celebrity.

Let's not forget our gay furries out there either, Ashley.

All right, that does it for us today.

August 2nd, 2025, we will be back to talk to you tomorrow.

We hope you will be here as well.

Bye, everybody.