2025.09.24: Daily Worldly News

Camelot.

Camelot.

Camelot.

It's only a model.

Hey!

We're recording the podcast!

Gut up!

Yes, sir.

Good.

Morning to you, wherever you are, because

it is...

We're 24th, 2025.

Great job, Kaya.

My name is Bernie Burns, sitting right over there.

She's in love with today's shout.

It's Ashley Burns.

Say hi to Ashley, everybody.

I'm in love with the shout.

I'm also in love with the drop.

We're not offering a t-shirt for that drop guest, by the way.

No, no, no, no.

Let's be clear.

That's only on when we announced that.

There were some people who were sending me guesses for yesterday.

It's like, no.

We have to set out the rules in advance.

No, no.

What do you think we just got a t-shirt cannon over here?

That would be...

That would be...

It'll be more obscure.

I think the pretty woman one was a test, and we will get, like, we'll find what the sweet spot is for where people don't get it within the first 20 seconds it's got to be the appropriate level of hardness yeah but you know once you put stuff out there you know there's always going to be somebody who knows it right like there's always one person who knows one thing i guess not if it's fiddlesticks and not if it's fiddlesticks not if it's fiddle see that's just it i'm trying to raise you uh raise your bar culturally and and introduce you to things like the zellner brothers fiddlesticks which you should check out because when you are like the like the guy who knows the obscure thing that's a good like that's a good feeling.

You feel like, I didn't waste my time learning all the pop culture references, right?

That was, I thought, one of the like major selling points for something like Ready Player One is like all the nerds who knew all the references were like, yeah, there was something

validated.

The shit out of me.

We decided to watch Gen V,

the new season of Gen V.

Which just started, and which I was very curious about because they have a lot to handle, but go on.

How would you describe the leader of the school?

What is that title?

Headmaster, principal?

Dean.

dean yeah the dean of the school there's a new dean this year and i was like

i know this guy and i refuse sometimes to look it up i'm like gonna make that connection on my own and i actually looked up his name because we hit pause and it's an amazon show and amazon they do the x-ray thing which is a feature that i love but it does ruin if you are trying to guess a thing yourself it does ruin that yeah but it was just his name and what was his name hamish linklitter or something yeah it was hamish linklitter and he was was i was like no that doesn't help i never would have guessed that And I finally had to look him up.

And he's like one of the dudes who's in the team for, I can't remember the name of the character, but it's the Steve Carell character from Big Short.

Yeah, you never would have got that, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, one of the guys is in succession, and then the other guy, there's two other guys that I can think of off the top of my head.

One of the guys is this guy.

So I was like, oh,

it made me feel good that I looked it up because I was like, I've never come up with that.

Right.

Whereas the other night we were trying to guess, like, we're like, what's the Wes Anderson movie about the hotel?

And then, you know, when you get, your brain gets close enough and it goes, we're not going any closer than this.

And it goes, Rwanda.

And you go, that's not Ant Brain.

It's not Hotel Rwanda.

And you go, it goes,

Rwanda.

Every time you're like, what was the Hotel Rwanda?

Do you know you've ruined it for so many people because they were trying to think of it when you said that?

And then when you said Hotel Rwanda, now they're like, well, now that's in my goddamn head.

I have, you learn when you're married to someone or you're in a relationship with them for a long time, you learn ways to communicate and ways not to communicate.

And like when we're trying to come up with something like that, I don't say my guesses out loud because then it gets stuck in the other person's head and they can't think of anything else.

Whereas I just go, I start going, hotel, it's not Rwanda, but I will absolutely think for a bully.

The name of the movie, by the way, is Grand Budapest Hotel.

So you're welcome, Brains.

Have we talked about the Wes Anderson box set that's coming out?

I think I have.

It's like a $500 box set, which is all of his movies asterisk.

Except it doesn't have two movies.

It doesn't have Asteroid City or The Phoenician Scheme.

And do we know why it's missing those movies?

Because they're a different studio.

Okay.

That's that's what I've heard.

And they couldn't, they wouldn't give him the rights.

What a fucking dick move.

What a dick move.

But you know what?

I get it.

Once you get rights and lawyers involved, it's all a nightmare.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was going to say, yeah.

It is.

Says Bernie.

Who's been dealing with rights and lawyers?

I've been very fortunate to be able to bring things back under one roof because different distributors have had like a show.

Let's say there's a show that ran for about 22 years, right?

And that show had a lot of different distributors over the years.

And I have been very fortunate that most of them have been able to play ball except for there's one fucking missing tooth, which has been a thorn in my side for about, what'd you say, three months now, probably?

Easily.

Also, I'm a little bit of a rant here.

I had to go to LTO tape drives.

I'm probably like doing the ATM machine when I say that.

I don't actually know what LTO stands for, but like tape backup, which is the most robust.

You can like throw it in a vault and pull it out a thousand years later and pull whatever data you need off of that.

If someone put the data on the tape to begin with, finally found some tapes, I think, that have exactly what I need.

Gota put it in the tape drive and the super advanced tape drive.

that I inherited,

which has little robot arms and whatever.

The little robot arms broke.

And it's like, like, okay, well, fine.

We'll just put the tapes in manually then ourselves.

Nope, can't do that.

Got to buy a new goddamn tape drive, which apparently is one of the most expensive things on the planet.

Go to order the goddamn thing, order it from a server supply company.

One of those ones that knows that you need servers overnight.

Like you need a server delivered to you within the next three hours.

If you order it by 5 p.m., we will ship it today and you can have AM service.

You can have this new machine to get yourself back up and running.

Cause when a server goes down, it's a big fucking deal.

So did that.

And they took my money and they took the extra fees for overnight delivery and everything.

And then in the middle of the night, they go, oh, yeah, sorry, that's backordered.

It'll be here in like two to three weeks.

And it's just like, how do you manage a data crisis for IT professionals and you don't have a website that can keep track of your goddamn stock?

Well, for Christ's sake, I sell t-shirts.

We keep track of the fucking stock of different sizes, motherfuckers.

It might be.

You don't know that they're out of stock.

It could just be that the robot arm that grabs that off like the giant high shelf is broken.

We are moving away.

Right, right.

Their internal robot arm.

This is the shit we're all going to be doing.

Their warehouse robot arm.

Yeah, it's broken.

What's this I read, too, about

the AI revolution is just going to like show up on our doorstep one day.

Major League Baseball is bringing their robot umpires.

I guess they have robot umpires.

They must be testing them in the minors or something like that.

We're going to have robot umpires in the Major League Baseball 2026 season.

Okay, well, if I may.

What the fuck is this?

The baseball has been doing a thing for a while, right?

Where they can project on the screen a rectangle, which is like, that's where the fair ball is, right?

Otherwise, it's, you know, not a valid pitch, right?

They've been doing that for a while.

How does that differ from a robot umpire?

Okay, here's the deal.

They introduced something in some time when I was not paying attention to baseball where now a batter can protest and they get so many protests per game where they can go, I don't think your call was right there, ump.

And the ump has to fucking stand there.

They take their mask off and they just stand there and wait.

And then they get like, it's basically like instant replay in every other sport.

And baseball didn't have it for a long period of time.

And yeah, if you get a shitty call, it sucks.

There have been shitty calls that have ruined like perfect games and no hitters for pitchers.

And they're a nightmare.

Like there's one in particular we'll link in the linked up that was terrible.

And the umpire had to apologize.

Go, yeah, I fuck this guy's no hitter.

I'm sorry.

You know, this is terrible and I feel terrible about it.

This is the line, though.

We all recognize that it sucks when it happens, but it's the human element.

And baseball, I think, more than any other sport has held on to the human element.

We got to decide going forward.

Are you going to put up with the messiness of being, you know, run by humans or do we want everything to be clean and all that?

Are we just going to give everything over to machines?

Well, I think the bigger question, Bernie, is what happens when the robot umpire can't do the like safe thing and like throw out his arms because his robot arms broke.

Everything comes back around to my goddamn data archive project.

Yeah, so mad about it.

I get it.

You know, we wanted we want it all to be right and everything like that.

But at the same time, it's like there's a human element to this, and you got to accept that kind of stuff.

You know, you got to take the good with the bad.

You can't make it all good, right?

Am I right there?

No, I agree that like the human element, it's a sport played by humans for for the theoretical enjoyment of humans, right?

When you put a robot layer in between, like the robot sandwich, right?

I don't know.

Does it taste as good?

You know, and also it's like you bring robots into every industry.

It's like robots taking over the umpire jobs in Major League Baseball.

It's going to eliminate literally dozens of jobs.

We need to think about the impact on the economy of doing something like that.

Dozens of jobs.

Dozens, Ashley.

There will be almost 100 people out of work.

Look, if we're going to send robots into industries, we need to send them down the wells to rescue the moose that fall in.

Okay.

That's the real industry that's calling for the help of AI.

What was the, do you, do you remember like looking back when you realized, oh, we might, we might be doomed.

Like, this might be unavoidable and the robots will eventually take over.

We've had fun this week talking about like the first movie you remember seeing what scared you as a kid and stuff like that.

Do you remember what was the first time when you thought these robots have got me?

No.

Do you have a moment like that?

Yeah, there was was a wired article on the stage.

And the Terminator, obviously.

It was like 10 or 15 years ago, and it was like you're saying for this server supply company that is supposed to be supplying a server to me.

It was an article about an Amazon distribution hub.

And they had robots working on the floor with humans that would go around and pick up the packages.

And it was like a test program.

One thing that called out was that the robots were being unfairly judged because they had to turn down their speed in order to work next to humans to keep the humans safe.

And I thought, oh, that's not good.

Like, that's not good.

Like, we're holding back the robots at this point in time.

The robots are trying not to make us feel bad about our walking speed.

Maybe it's because the robots were trained on Stephen King's walking speed.

Yeah, right.

They all, they all read that book.

They all processed.

They were trained on that.

Yeah.

Could you live life as a pet?

Well, let's see.

Do you like like that?

Like

if all your needs were met and you were up to date on your vaccinations and all that stuff.

I've actually heard a lot of people say that it's, it helps them mentally to think of themselves as their own pet, right?

Like they need to make, like, have they had enough, um, have they had enough to eat today?

Uh, have they gone out for walkies?

Uh, does their enclosure have enough enrichment opportunities?

Like, like people like thinking of themselves as like their own zookeeper and making sure that they're taking the best possible care of them animal selves is like actually a mental trick that I guess helps some people practice proper self-care.

I do like the idea of hanging like a corn cob from my ceiling in my office.

I'm going to go like peck at it every now and then for fun and entertainment.

You say that, but it's like we put ourselves on treadmills, right?

We put ourselves on treadmills for our own fitness because we know that it's good for us.

It's very true.

It's very true.

Speaking of which, can we go back to like a callback to an earlier episode of this podcast?

Perhaps.

You have got to fucking open one of these Reese's pieces bags that's in the goddamn cabinet.

Seriously, I'm going to throw them out.

You can't throw them out.

This is performance art, Ashley.

You've had these three bags of Reese's pieces, and I have not touched them.

They have been staring me in the face every time I open the cabinet for two goddamn months.

Okay, here's what, here's the maybe six.

No, no, no.

Those are carrots.

Those are, those are my mental carrots.

So I'm doing my best to get back in shape.

I, you know, I've now, like, I've had two kids.

I've gained a little bit of weight.

I'm trying to, like, I'm making a concerted effort to get that weight back off.

I'm doing the treadmill.

I'm doing all this stuff trying to get back in shape.

And those are my carrots, okay?

Those are my milestone carrots.

I get to open one bag of Reese's pieces when I hit one milestone.

I have another bag of Reese's pieces when I get to the next milestone.

And then I got a finisher.

So those, they have purposes.

They're my carrots.

I look at those and I know that I can have them when I get to a certain point.

I will take them out of the cabinet so you don't have to look at them, but those are my carrots.

And I haven't hit the milestones yet.

This is the actual real purpose, and I've figured it out finally after all this time, is that you get these tasty treats, you put them in the cabinet, you don't eat them, and eventually I eat them, I get fatter, so relatively you think you're healthier because I'm eating all the treats.

You're using me.

Although, I do, I do now have a strategy when I grocery shop for something that like I want to have as a treat is I'll get more than one so that I can have one.

What you do is you hide them in your purse.

And I figured that out, too.

That's where I go look for treats.

You now go rummaging through my bag.

Yeah.

You thought I missed that entire thing of Rolos you bought the other day?

Nope.

Did you notice it didn't last as long as you thought it was going to last?

Yes, you found them.

So I'm just saying, in two months, when you go into that cabinet for your reward and your package of Reese's pieces from America.

There's one Reese's piece in it.

Or it's been carefully glued shut and it's it's filled with sand.

Yeah, now you know, rocks.

I'll know that E.T.

was here.

No, you'll know that it's like the further collapse of America.

That's what's happened to the KD industry.

Well,

speaking of getting fat, Bernie, I'd like to talk about some fat bears.

I need to update you on the bracket.

Please do.

Congratulations to 128 Jr., who won against Bear 609, who does not get a name.

128 Jr.

is moving on to 602.

But if Bernie, if 128 Jr.

beats 602, then I think he's going to end up against 32.

That's chunk, right?

That's that's his brother's killer.

And I just, I think, I think that there's, this is going to be the dramatic matchup for this year's Fat Bear Week.

I want to call out Nepo Cub culture in the Fat Bear context, right?

I don't think I can back 128 Jr.

Well, you think you're going to you're going to back the child killer who's been apparently, I guess, dealing with a broken jaw this year?

No, I'm backing Grazier because I support women in sports.

That's what I'm doing, actually.

I'm sticking with last year's.

I'm not some Fairweather Bear fan.

If you're a fan of the Bears.

Or the Cubs.

So have they set up this bracket so that Grazer,

the Cub,

and let's call him the bad guy, whatever he was from last year, are they all going to face off in the finals or semifinals?

Sort of, sort of.

So if Chunk wins against Bear 901 and he advances and 128 advances, they face each other in the next round of the bracket.

And so on the Grazer is on the other side of the bracket.

So who's coming up through that part of the bracket?

Because Grazer is going to have to face off against somebody in the semifinals.

Is there like a dark bear in here?

Hard to say.

I mean, Grazer's got a buy here.

So right now, either 26 or 909 is going to come up against Grazer in the next round.

We're going to have to have a look at whether 99 or 856 wins their match and comes up against 910.

And then whoever comes out there, I think it's going to be facing Grazer in the semifinal for the right side of the bracket.

Yeah.

So it's looking like a really good year for Fat Bears everywhere.

And they're going to introduce robot umpires next year.

They're going to have to like step onto the scales and weigh in.

And the AI is going to like measure their BMI and decide all of this for us.

So we don't even vote.

So what is the line?

Like what's the thing you don't want automation in or robots?

And like if we've all decided we don't want art, to me, that's a clear line in the sand because we don't want to invent machines so that we can do all the shitty work and they can do all the poetry and art and everything like that.

Right.

I mean, first of all, like I have yet to see a great like AI written riddle.

You know, that's just like not a thing.

I don't think their sonnets are up to par.

They're really derivative.

Nothing but derivative.

No.

You know, let's see.

Besides the art, besides the fun stuff,

I don't really see want to, I don't care to see robot sports, right?

I think that's interesting.

I mean, it has its place, right?

But I think that the human element is what makes sports interesting to humans, is the human exceptionalism.

And I don't want to see robots.

What don't I want to see robots in?

They already do a lot of our food growing in terms of like, I think of, I guess they're mechs, not robots specifically, but if you look at some of the like crazy tractors that farmers have now that have like lasers that automatically like zap zap out weeds in the field.

That's incredible stuff.

But that's mech.

That's that mech.

But it's it is, it's AI-assisted mechs, right?

How are robot mowers so much better than robot vacuums?

Because I feel like robot vacuums are constantly in trouble, right?

They're always

having to be rescued.

You've got to go rescue them all the time from being like, they're like stuck under the cabinets or they ate a cable or they, you know, something.

Yeah, I do feel like

they're like robot vacuums have issues.

That could also be that we had a much earlier model of the robot vacuum.

Maybe they're great now.

Maybe they're great.

And, you know, they're, they now have cameras and stuff so they can actually see, which I remember being a privacy issue recently.

So they can actually see, whereas ours is one of those like very early models that just bumps around and figures if it goes long enough, it's probably going to bump everywhere and get all the stuff.

That is one of the funny things about humans and our adaptability with automation is how quickly we get used to it too.

Like the idea of vacuuming your whole house is like, it was a massive chore that we had to do all the time and vacuum and do dishes and stuff.

And now just interacting with the machine that does that for you is a huge fucking hassle.

You're like, oh my God, I can't believe I have to reach under the couch to get this robot vacuum

when you spend an hour like with a hose in your hand going around your entire house.

Although there's, you also, like, we've had to change the way that we set up our house in order to make it friendlier to the robot vacuum.

Like, setting up these little, these little boxes around the rooms that we don't want it to go in.

And, and then we have to deal with these boxes just sitting all around the house that say, don't go in here, robot.

And someone all, they always get turned around.

And so the robot goes in there anyway.

It didn't do us any good.

To make this more relatable, it's like, how often do you think to yourself, oh, I don't want to unload the dishwasher?

It's like, you're not washing dishes for two hours a fucking day.

You can't spend five minutes unloading the dishwasher with all of its perfectly clean dishes.

Pristine sterilized dishes that are coming out for you.

Oh, I got to go grocery shopping.

What a pain in the ass.

Your ancestors are like, fuck you, buddy.

Or every now and again, you like pull out the one spoon that like has a bit of stuff still dry to it and you go, oh, what do you even do, dishwasher?

But yeah, but how are robot mowers just out there working?

Because they have satellites, don't they?

I guess so, but I got Wi-Fi and everything else in my goddamn house.

Like Batman, they can see everything in my house, can't they?

That's what the conspiracy theorists always tell me about the government.

But it's like the one saving grace of, okay, I got to go get the robot vacuum from under the couch for the billionth time this month.

The one saving grace in that is it's not covered in like whirling blades like a mower is, you know?

It's like, we didn't perfect this technology, but let's just put it on the thing with blades and let it run outside where the kids play.

Let's give it knives.

Yeah, exactly.

She put knives on it.

Have fun.

Let's cover it in spikes.

What am I going to do with this gun?

I don't know.

Let's give it to the fucking vacuum and see what happens.

You know what we're, what we really haven't talked about, though, with the robot mowers, though, Bernie, is how it's actually cutting out the entire entry-level job of 16-year-old boys everywhere.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, like, that was back in the day.

That was like a solid, your first business.

pipeline, right?

Was you, you went and you started, you would offer to mow the neighbor's lawns for what, like $5.

And that was like, dude, it was like 20 bucks when I was a kid, like 10 or 20 bucks for a front and a back lawn.

Yeah, 20 bucks was a good price.

And now we either give the robots knives or there's the guy on YouTube who goes around and goes, Can I mow your lawn for free?

I just want to film it.

And that's one of the most satisfying YouTube channels you could possibly have.

It actually is really satisfying.

Did you ever mow lawns?

Was that a thing you ever did?

I mean, occasionally, not really.

Yeah.

Not really.

You know what always was the nightmare too of that?

Cleanup sucks.

Like mowing lawns.

I like mowing lawns and doing dishes because I like when you have visual, definitive progress on a task.

It's great to see.

I know what I've done and I know what I haven't done.

And a lawn is like, oh my God, when you're mowing it, it's like you can actually see the change.

It's one of those things like at an early age, you get a feel for like, I'm doing something and it's affecting the world.

I don't know.

It was a cool feeling I had as a kid.

You can see the change.

You can see how much you've done and you can see exactly how much is left to go.

I, I, world's first progress bar.

I hate, I hate, I want to use with a capital H hate edging.

I hate it.

Edging the lawn is the worst.

Oh, the lawn.

You're laughing at me over there.

I hate edging.

Oh, the lawn.

I see.

You're edging the lawn.

Okay.

But

it's one of my least favorite things in the world to do.

And they even make machines that are edgers.

Just taking a, what we call in the U.S., a weed eater.

Weed whacker, buddy.

Strummer.

Over here in the UK, they say strummer and like turning turning it like vertically, like turning it sideways, like you're taking a TikTok video or something, you know?

And

doing that is a better way to edge, but it's still just, to me, it's mind-numbing.

You just hate it.

There's a lot of sidewalks, too, in Texas.

They have a lot of sidewalks.

And

that just makes an additional...

two edges that you need to edge.

Do you go over to the neighbors and you like inspect their lawn?

You inspect their edging and just like see if they did it right.

Dude, one of the things that I'm talking about.

It's like your version of like holding up the spoon.

There was a picture that I posted.

This is years ago because Teddy was a little kid.

And it was a funny thing I did with Teddy.

And it's such a great photo because it's like a pure summer photo.

You know, when you're a kid and it's the summer and you just live in your swimsuit the entire summer?

Oh, yeah.

It's glorious.

I love that.

Like you don't even remember what clothes are.

But it must have been in the summer because he's in the swimsuit and he's outside.

I would never post a picture of my kid shirtless in a swimsuit online now, but it was different time back then.

And the photo was Teddy pretending like he's crying in the front yard,

but he's laughing the whole time.

I'm taking the photo, but he's pretending like he's crying.

And it's me throwing Teddy out of the house because he referred to Boba Fett as green Django Fett,

which was a very funny joke in the mid-2000s.

And but we're outside and we're, it's the place that we had in Circle C, when we lived in Circle C.

And all the comments were about how amazing my lawn was.

I had an amazing lawn.

I had an amazing lawn.

So normally you have

when people like look in the background, like weird little details in the background of photos, just to be like, I notice a thing no one else notices.

But in this case, you were like, notice it up, buddies.

Check out this pristine lawn.

I want to call that.

I've been doing my edging.

Let's seriously.

You glossed over that really quickly.

That is super creepy behavior that people do online.

Anytime anyone posts a photo and people scan the background to look for something in the background of a photo and then comment on it in the comments, that's super fucking creepy behavior.

It really is one of the weirdest things that people do on a regular basis.

They're like trying to show off how observant they are and it comes across as just like weirdly stalkery and judgy.

It's fucking weird, creepy behavior.

Cut that shit out, internet.

I've seen some stuff before where it's like, yeah, like that's like one of those is like, okay, fine.

But I've also seen people.

What was it?

It was a case of, I want to say it was like a, maybe it was a K-pop idol or some someone like that, like a celebrity who had posted selfies in their like apartment and someone found them based on like reflections in the background yeah that's

the kind of thing where I'm like you know what I'm never gonna post anything that's not against like a plain white wall and even that I'm not 100% sure about so instead I just don't post anything ever a lot of internet commenters should just go straight to jail

is that an inflammatory comment straight to jail just like if you like 50% of internet commenters should go to jail

50 you know who else?

We should build new prisons and just fill it with internet comedy.

You know who else is going to jail?

Who's going to jail?

Is the lady who tried to steal Graceland?

Remind me of the story.

She tried to steal.

Okay.

So, yeah.

Was it a fraud thing?

Yes.

Yes.

Why not steal like a regular house?

Like, why Graceland?

Why Graceland?

People aren't going to know.

Like, they're not going to ask a question.

Like, hey, how did you end up with Graceland?

Hey, Bernie, shoot for the stars, okay?

We're telling our kids not to have ambition now.

If you're not from America in the 1960s, Graceland was was the estate that Elvis Presley owned.

Right.

And now it's like a big tourist attraction.

And all this.

A museum?

Yeah, yeah.

And so

this lady basically posed as a bogus investigator.

She claimed that she had rights to Graceland.

And if I remember correctly, she was like hours away from having the paperwork signed off and owning Graceland based on this whole thing.

So close.

So here we go.

And then she got a notification that Graceland was back ordered.

Two to three weeks.

This is an article from NBC News.

Posing as someone named Kurt Nassani, an executive for a company that didn't exist, Findlay in July 2023 began emailing lawyers for Presley's granddaughter,

actor Riley Co., who'd become the sole trustee and owner of Graceland following the death of her mother, Lisa Marie Presley.

Findlay demanded payment on a $3.8 million loan she said Lisa Marie Presley had taken out in 2018, putting Graceland up as collateral.

The company, Nasani Investments, filed papers asserting its rights to the home, which it planned to unload in a foreclosure sale.

None of this, by the way, none of these documents are real.

They're all fraud.

Oh, really?

Okay, because it all sounds legit up until the end of the year.

I know.

That's like it's a pretty advanced scam.

The documents, including the signatures of Lisa Marie Presley and a Florida notary who had nothing to do with the case, were forged.

The case progressed until May 2024, when Coat sued to stop the foreclosure, saying that it was a scam and a judge shut it down.

And then, like, it just, but it was within like hours of the thing, like, going through.

America sucks.

Just, you don't hear about this dumb shit anywhere else, right?

Why, what is it?

Is it just the reporting?

Or is it just like, it's it just

sucks all the time?

I think when you, I mean, the thing is, the U.S.

is a really big place with a lot of people in it.

Uh, and so

you get like a per capita number of like crazy things happening.

Uh, and this is this is part of that per capita.

In Canada, you get like a maple syrup heist, like once a generation, you get something like this is just like a random ass Wednesday, right?

Like, someone is trying to steal a beloved estate.

Just wait until they have AI taken off with the maple syrup, and they've got blades for some reason.

Someone gave the robots knives to steal maple syrup with.

The great Canadian maple syrup heist was a massive theft of nearly 3,000 tons of maple syrup, valued at approximately 18.7 million dollars.

That occurred between 2011 and and 2012 in Quebec.

Right.

So that's over 13 years ago at this point.

So what you're saying is step it up, Canada.

That's what I'm hearing.

No, no, everyone moved to fucking Canada.

Let's go to Canada and ruin that country.

Everybody moved there.

God damn.

Every fucking day there's something new.

Every day there's like 14 new things.

Every day.

We would never start this podcast and go, there's nothing to talk about today.

Right?

Because we just,

we just tune into America and it's just some random dumb fucking horse shit going on.

Here's the thing.

There's probably a lot of crazy things happening elsewhere, but we don't read them because the articles all about them aren't in English.

I guess so.

I guess so.

And

we basic.

Also, I have to say, too, it's like even talking about the Russian drone insurance yesterday, when you get to an article that's just on some random website from some foreign country, you're like, is this even real?

Like, I don't even know if this is real or not.

Well, it's

like that same scrutiny for everything, but like, I also, like, don't know what the, like, what's the, like, Russian equivalent for, like, the national examiner.

Like, right?

What's the, like, crazy made-up, like, Bat Boy tabloids, and what's, like, the legit stuff?

I don't even know how to parse that because I know so little about it.

Well, listen, just, here's where we're getting at.

All this sucks.

None of, nothing we talk about is real, period.

Except for Bat Boy.

Except for what?

Bat Boy.

Do you remember like all the national, it was the National Inquirer that did all the like Bat Boy stuff?

That was the weekly worldly news.

I'm sorry, the weekly worldly news.

Bat Boy.

They got so much mileage out of Batboy.

I would see that in the checkout all the time.

Like, what's happened with Bat Boy this week?

Dude, the person who came up with Bat Boy was probably the hero of that office.

They ran one.

It was like a,

it was almost, is it fair to say it was like the onion?

It was a tabloid that was clearly fake.

Clearly fake.

Clearly.

And the only people who were who were fooled by the weekly worldly news were like considered to be fucking idiots, right?

Right.

Like the whole like people who get fooled by the onion.

And this was just like really fake articles.

And they had this one thing where there was a kid found in a cave and they named him Bat Boy.

And he was like, was he a kid raised by bats or he was part of it?

This is from Mythicalopedia.

Bat Boy, the mysterious creature of urban legends.

He's a fictional character.

It first appeared in the American supermarket tabloid weekly world news 1992.

He's half human, half bat, was discovered in a cave in West Virginia.

he was half bat

so somebody a bat is whatever we're getting at there

that's what that was like a batman had a totally different origin story

batman's origin story was more like wonder woman's origin story an origy story stop it

the uh but yeah so they got some traction out of this bat boy and then it became their thing for like years forever right for years bat boy and the adventures of bat boy and like bat boy was going to go to college

at one point and stuff like that.

They got so much mileage out of Bat Boy.

I think Bat Boy needs to make a return, man.

I agree.

The revenge of Bat Boy.

You know who else needs to make a return?

Who's that?

Our sponsors today.

Liam Finnegan and Cameron Long.

Thank you both so much for sponsoring this episode of our show at patreon.com slash morning somewhere and roosterteeth.com.

Hey, I should also say that

Ashley and I, after 500 episodes of this podcast and whatever, however total many we've made, We've lost count at this point.

We are taking our first vacation.

So we are going to be off Monday through Friday of next week.

We will not have episodes that are coming out on a daily basis.

We'll still have content for members of the Russian sponsorship and the Patreon as well.

So don't worry, you will still have content.

But we will be off next week, Monday through Friday.

I get to take my wife on a little vacation.

We deserve it.

We're going to go bathe in Reese's.

You deserve pieces.

Yeah, we're going to go eat Reese's pieces.

We're going to have a robot arm feed us.

We're going to eat Reese's pieces on back order.

All right, well, that does it for us today.

September 24th, 2025.

We will be back to talk to you tomorrow.

We hope you will be here as well.

Bye, everybody.