2025.09.17: Hitting The Post

Let's party, dudes.

Hey, we're recording the podcast.

Gut up.

Good.

Wherever you, wherever you are, because it is Morning Subway for September 17th, 2025.

I was early.

My name's Bernie Burns.

I'm so raring to go.

I'm early.

I'm like...

Drops.

This is me.

That's over her.

Over there.

It's actually hi.

Bye, bye, bye.

Bye.

Well, like.

I'm early and and then I fucked myself up.

That's okay.

When there's this much dumb shit to talk about,

it's understandable that you get so excited you just can't help yourself from running ahead.

There's a radio term for that.

I learned this from Howard Stern.

Howard Stern watch is still employed.

He talked about hitting the post, which I guess is some old DJ thing.

It used to annoy the shit out of me.

You probably dealt with this too, Ashley.

There used to be this thing for Gen Xers and Zinnials like yourself, Ashley, where we would sit with a radio with a cassette deck in it with record and pause pushed.

And we would wait with our hand over pause when a song came on the radio we liked and we'd unpause it.

And then we'd have a mixtape essentially that we would build from songs as they played on the radio.

And if you got unlucky, that mixtape would consist of little clips of

as like right as the DJ is like, here,

now it's a, you know, downward spiral, 90s nails.

There we go.

So that's it.

So that's a skill they actually developed, and that was intentional.

You get really pissed because the DJ would talk over the beginning of the song and in a lot of cases would talk right up until the first lyrics.

They call that hitting the post.

And that was an actual thing that they tried to do, a radio aesthetic, where they would talk over the beginning of the song.

And then just as the singer begins, they'd be done speaking.

called hitting the post.

And Howard would do things where he'd try to practice hitting his post.

And that's like me trying to hit that downbeat

by hitting the post.

But once again, lost the time.

I guess there's still DJs that are out there trying to hit their posts, but I don't know.

It doesn't seem like a thing that anybody would even recognize.

Look on the bright side, Bernie.

Even things that are lost to time can get unlost to time real quick.

And sometimes we'll be like, man, I remember when that was lost at time.

That was nice.

Go back in your grave.

For example, the news that LimeWire has been revealed as the mystery buyer for Firefest.

I fucking love this.

That's right.

LimeWire bought Firefest on eBay.

That's not true.

On eBay?

On eBay.

That's how he auctioned it off.

He auctioned off the IP rights for Firefest on eBay.

So LimeWire bought Firefest on eBay.

Yes.

And

that is not only a real sentence, it is what happened.

In four more Klarna payments, it will be all theirs.

Right.

I got to say, I got to do a little bit of meaculpa here.

I poo-pooed Klarna because I, once again, going back to the thing I talked about yesterday in that long, rambling podcast, I don't like debt.

So I referred to Klarna

as the thing, the button that you never press at checkout.

And everyone's like, in our comments, like, I press that button all the time.

Like, they use Klarna.

So I had to go look into it.

And I think what I saw basically is that it's a way where you can.

Take something and push it out in payments like four payments and get 0% interest.

It's like, that's actually really smart if you can do it and you can leverage it as long as you don't get caught on the back end of it, right?

Right.

As long as you can make all those payments.

Right.

Otherwise, otherwise you're going to get a real foot up the ass.

And then I assume, actually, once again, I don't know that much about the product, but even a credit card, if you put every single thing on a credit card, it's great because you can build loyalty points with an airline or you can get cash back.

But where they get you, Ashley, where they get you.

is that they expect that a lot of people aren't going to be able to manage that.

Right.

That's that's their business model is that you can't manage that, right?

They don't make money if you pay on time.

Right.

They're banking on you going, oops,

let's put this off for a few months.

Yeah, well, it's

it's timely that you mentioned Clarina because they just had an IPO, which might also be why you're hearing about them more in the news.

They just IPO'd with a valuation of like $19 billion.

$19

billion.

Listen, if you have a financial service that has a decent size user base, that's exceptionally valuable to Wall Street.

Exceptionally valuable.

So two things, financial institutions and chat clients.

Exactly.

Those two things.

They go ahead and get it.

Hey, you can get lots of users.

You got a good value going on.

Listen, you're joking, but that neighborhood of like $19, $20 billion,

that's where the chat clients land.

WhatsApp was $20 billion

when

Facebook bought them.

Excuse me, Meta bought them.

But I love it too.

It's like, once again, we're just reinventing everything.

Klarna has this thing where you can, oh, you want to buy this thing, you can have it in for easy payments at 0% interest or whatever it is.

It's basically just, they've reinvented layaway, right?

You remember layaway?

Oh, I remember layaway.

Boy, do I.

Were you a layaway family?

No, we were never a layaway family, but it was a really big deal.

And it's been a long time since I've heard the term layaway, actually.

But that was a big thing, especially around like Christmas time or kind of back to school, right?

Is when parents would have to like buy a lot of stuff all at once.

Very daunting.

So they would put it all on layaway and then it went what like in a bag in the back of the store, right?

They had their special layaway area and it would be set aside and reserved just for you.

It's just waiting for you to just pay that thing off.

And you would go in and you would issue payments against it.

And once you paid off your layaway, you got the thing.

It was like reverse pawn, basically, right?

Or actually, this is the reverse of Klarna.

Like you didn't get the thing until you were done paying for it.

Now they're like, here, have the thing.

Just pay us.

Trust us.

We got this.

Yeah.

We trust you.

You're a good guy.

We're worth $19 billion.

You can trust us.

We're all good.

Yeah, so it makes sense.

But it does remind me, too.

I remember this tweet I read years ago when James Willems actually got me into it.

He was drinking something called 100% food, which was like, I think another one of the big ones was Soylent.

It was these meal replacements where you just replace all of your food with this, like, it's exactly engineered as to everything you need, nutrient-wise.

Right.

One of these has 33% of your daily value of this vitamin and this vitamin and the protein that you need and your carbs and your fat.

You don't worry about anything.

You know what you do?

You just don't eat food now.

You drink me instead, and I'm going to take care of everything.

I'll replace all your food.

And the tweet was: some lady told her boomer mom about it.

And the mom said, so they invented SlimFest?

And her response was, yeah, but it's guys, so they call it tech.

Look, that's the thing.

I remember when Finn was a little baby, obviously we were getting served a lot of ads for like baby gear, right it's like the diaper bags and the strollers and the and the baby carriers and all this stuff and i remember seeing quite a lot of like

manly baby gear like this is a tactical diaper bag this is for dads you don't want to look like pussies carrying a diaper bag that looks like maybe the mom bought it right i'm sold like you you want to look like a dad dad yeah you want this tactical diaper bag what does it do the same thing all the other diaper bags do but it's in camo

you don't have a family you have a pride

You know, and so that, like, it was the exact same thing, but marketed very much like at dudes.

Yeah, for guys or whatever.

Yeah.

It's amazing what you can get away by slapping four men on something, right?

Right.

Literally labeled four men.

Ridiculous.

Yeah.

I had an early lesson in that kind of stuff when I was a young man in the 90s.

I was

going to pick up my girlfriend at Magnolia Cafe.

Is Magnolia Cafe the one that had the landscapes?

Yes, the Venusian landscapes.

Yeah, it was this, I don't even know how to describe this dish.

It was like a, like a scramble or a hash, I think they're called, where it's like, it's potatoes and they had like vegetables and things like that.

And it's all sort of scrambled up and cooked together.

And but they called them landscapes.

And there was like a Martian landscape and a Venusian.

I don't even know, I don't know why they called them landscapes.

Maybe because they don't look all that appetizing.

So they had to come up with some way to sell them to you.

Maybe because it's the lump potatoes with cheese on it.

It ends up looking like a Bryce render.

I just remember the Bryce renderings of like sci-fi planets and moons and stuff.

And the Martian one was red because I guess it had red pepper in it.

And the Venusian one had more like greens in it.

So it was Venusian.

Either way, I loved those dishes.

Anyway, continue your story about it.

You were kind of like talking down for a second, tone-wise.

No, no, no.

Look,

I don't understand the naming, but I loved the dish.

The cool thing about it is with the modern like DoorDash culture is that everyone has their menus online now.

That used to not be a thing where you could could see the menu for every restaurant when you would go to it.

Now we can actually link this in the link dump, and you can probably see a Venusian landscape.

They're awesome, by the way.

And they're probably like 30 bucks now.

Who knows when you go back and eat them?

But I was picking her up

at the Magnolia Cafe on

I'll just say Lake Austin Boulevard, which is either 1st Street or 6th Street, depending on which direction you're going.

Old argument, stupid ass Austin.

But I was pulling around and I looked up and I'm like, holy cow, there's Michael Dell, the founder and president of Dell Computer, which in the 90s was a very big deal in Austin to see that guy out and about.

Also, not a guy a lot of people would recognize on site, I don't think.

And I saw him sitting there and he was waiting, I guess, for his wife or partner.

And he was sitting there holding in his hands and he looked completely at ease and comfortable.

He was holding his wife's purse and he was just like hanging out holding his wife's purse.

Not going to, look at that.

Michael Dell, billionaire, which in the 90s was a big deal.

Billionaire sitting there just holding his purse.

It's like,

that was a lesson in masculinity.

If Michael Dell can sit there and hold his girlfriend's purse, then I can do it too.

Right.

Then I can go into the store and buy my girlfriend some tampons.

I'm going to reveal.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I can do hard things.

I can carry the diaper bag.

That's me.

Not for men.

I can save some money and not do that.

I'm going to out something a little bit, a personal story, because I haven't said what her name is, but this was the same girlfriend that I had.

We're talking about like layaway and stuff like that.

She came from the same economic tier as my family.

And her approach,

this is like

lower middle class economics, right?

She had an extended family because there was divorce and remarriage.

So it was like two families.

So Christmas, it was like this whole thing where she'd have to go all over the place.

Like she would be in the car like four different times on Thanksgiving Day and on Christmas Day.

God, can you imagine four Thanksgiving dinners?

It was, yeah, it was a lot.

It was a whole lot.

And like

grandparents and everything still alive, like even some great grandparents at the time, I think.

But she had this thing where she had to buy all these presents for everyone and she couldn't afford to do this.

So she would sit down and work it out on paper.

This is so ridiculous.

She would work it out on paper what order she would buy gifts for people in so that she would bounce the least amount of checks.

Oh, gosh.

That was her financing plan.

And it's like the amount of work and mathematics that she put into that.

was incredible.

It's like, you're like one step away from being a financial genius, but it's a really important step.

Whatever that step is, I didn't know what it was at the time.

It's like, if you just make that leap, you're going to be extraordinarily wealthy.

Girlfriend could have used Klarna.

She could have used Klarna.

She absolutely could have used Klarna.

For sure.

But, Bernie, speaking of being manly enough to hold a purse, do you think that's something you could put in a dating profile?

Because people are putting weird stuff in dating profiles now, apparently.

I don't know what you put in a dating profile.

I just saw a headline that

there is an increasing index of the number of people who are putting putting that they like A24 films specifically, like they're specifying I like A24 films in their dating profiles.

Is that like a very, is that a really specific thing?

Or is that like the new version

of someone going, I like

film.

Not, I don't, not movies.

I don't watch movies.

I watch

film.

I like red flags in dating profile bios because that's important, right?

If you see the red flag in the bio, how lucky are you that you saw that?

And you're like, okay, no.

Like, I don't have to go through.

But you saved us all a whole bunch of time.

Yeah.

If I don't like you at your worst, I don't.

Okay, bye.

How dare you saying A24 is a red flag?

No, I'm just saying, I'm not saying A24 is, but I like that when I don't really know what goes in a dating bio, I'll be honest with you, but I always hear about these red flags that people have in them.

That seems great.

I'm not saying A24 is one.

I don't actually know.

Like, if I was making a dating profile right now today, based on our conversation, it would be me, instead of holding up a fish, I'd be holding up my girlfriend's purse, like it's a fish.

That's how I'd be doing it.

Willing to hold purses.

I'm a dude, but I'm also very comfortable in my masculinity.

That's where I'm trying to hit on the spectrum.

So, what are they, what are they putting in?

They're putting a like

hereditary, and people are like, Yeah, so this is this is an article from The Guardian.

It says, The dating app field has revealed mentions of the film studio A24 have increased 65% year on year in members' profiles over the last 12 months.

So, I guess it's specifically that people are putting in their dating profiles.

Like, here's what I like.

You know, it's like, I like long walks on the beach and A24 films.

And I guess what that tells me is actually it's more an indicator about the niche that A24 is occupying in the film world, the film world, than anything, right?

That

A24 has almost become synonymous with independent film.

Right.

Right.

Like, I like sort of weird, offbeat, quirky, independent style films.

That's what I like to watch.

Like, as opposed to, like, I really love the MCU.

Like, we'll go see it.

It's the other end, right?

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Or I would think like the office.

Like, if you put a bunch of office quotes, you're really communicating to someone.

I'm just going to sit in my apartment all day and watch the office on the fucking loop on streaming.

And if, and if that's what you like as well, we're compatible.

Otherwise, I'm going to drive you nuts.

Yeah, yeah.

I would be like, hey, here's the deal.

I got a good job.

I don't have have any current Klarna payments.

So I got a clean slate.

So let's go, man.

I'm ready for this holiday season shopping.

I'm ready.

I got money to spend.

Let's party, dudes.

I should probably talk about that, that drop for today.

So that drop is a continuation of yesterday's drop, and I made a big mistake on yesterday's podcast.

Big mistake.

I didn't realize how big a mistake I made until later.

I said, no one's going to be able to figure out the drop from yesterday.

And I said, if anybody can message me and the first person who does, I'll send them a code for a free t-shirt.

I didn't,

that was an offhand comment.

It was my fault entirely.

People spent time looking at it.

You really were never going to be able to find this thing.

I actually went knowing what it was and tried to find it online, and it actually doesn't exist online.

Really?

Wait, where did you get it from then?

So, that is here's where I got it because we're digitizing our media stream.

I even gave people hints in the comments for the episode.

I didn't realize people would be this in tune with it.

Bottom line is: at some point in the future, probably Monday of next week, I will do a drop.

It'll be obscure, but actually

findable.

Yeah.

By the way, I just noticed on Reddit on the app, I had never seen this before.

They now have built into the app on the like the long press.

Games?

Oh, oh, they do have games.

I did notice that too.

That's an update.

That's a way they want that.

That's communicating to you.

I want you to stick around, right?

Yeah.

That's like if Reddit had a dating bio, it would be, that's the looking to build a family.

That's what they try to put games on the rack.

I'm looking for commitment.

I want you to spend a lot of time with me.

I'm very needy.

All right.

We're now third tier tangent here.

Another thing I hate.

Another thing I hate.

I hate that every,

I wanted to get the kids to kind of like start doing photography.

I got this cool like 25 buck.

little camera that prints on thermal paper.

It's awesome.

It's like, it's like a cute little Polaroid, except it's just thermal paper.

So you're not paying out like billions of dollars and putting down Klarna payments just to buy like new Polaroid blanks.

And you get all these like photos from the kids' perspective.

It's awesome.

And then the thermal paper is not expensive at all.

It's really cool.

The problem is like every electronic device that is designed for kids, it's got a menu on it, which I don't want the kids to have to navigate a menu.

And the menu has games in it.

It's always have games on it.

Why do they have games on every stop putting, stop putting games in the kids' camera or let me turn it over?

Just let it, just let, yeah, or disable it.

Just do, let us do something.

We just don't want the games on the camera.

I don't want it.

The camera is supposed to be a camera.

But Reddit now, when you long press on Reddit, it has built-in reverse image search, which is actually pretty cool, I thought, because there's so many things that people do for reposting or AI stuff, you know, or like, here's this cool thing I did today.

And it's like, dude, somebody posted this like a year ago.

You know, I always wonder who are the people who do that.

Like, just see, they get a photo and they just put it up.

Well, like save it, like archive it, whatever.

Yeah, point it and then make it their own story.

It's really kind of very bizarre behavior in my opinion.

I thought it was cool cool it had that.

All right, so backing that back up.

Backing that back up

to the drop thing.

So this

next one I'll do will be actually findable and it'll be a thing and it'll be in the Rooster Teeth comments for the episode because it makes sense to be pushing people towards Rooster Teeth anyway.

That's where we should be focusing most of our efforts, especially after our conversation yesterday.

So we'll be doing that at some point in the future and it will be a findable thing.

Also, if we have people posting in different places.

It gets very confusing

for timestamps and stuff like that.

I I ain't giving away more than one shirt.

But so yesterday's drop, long story short, too late.

That is from a Zellner Brothers production of a DVD that I bought of theirs, which is a collection of one of their movies called Kid Thing and then a bunch of their shorts that they made from like 2000 to 2015-ish.

And so I was going through and digitizing all of that stuff and putting it on our media archive.

That is from a project that Nathan made while he was working with us at Rooster Roosha Teeth.

Nathan and David both made it, but Nathan was working with us, called Fiddlesticks.

And it used to be on their website, poi.cc, if I recall correctly, but it is now off.

So it almost, literally almost impossible to find.

And I said that, but people took that as a challenge of, I'll find it.

I'll do better.

I'll do better in the future, guys.

We'll, we'll come up with something actually legitimate.

Well, speaking of, though, Bernie, things that seem virtually impossible to pull off, but actually can be done.

I've got a new favorite heist.

My new favorite heist.

I know the one you're talking about.

This is crazy.

Is

some dude, we think it's a dude, scubaed up

to a floating restaurant at Disney World and stole like their night's takings, basically, like between $10,000 and $20,000, scubaed away,

and they have not been apprehended.

This is the most complex heist I've ever heard of for the lowest pay.

anything.

Like to rob a restaurant.

Really?

I'm like, you could have done this for like, why didn't you scoob your way into like some sort of like, I don't know, jewel shipment in international waters or something.

It's so what happened is

there's this

restaurant, Paddlefish.

It's a seafood restaurant in Disney Springs, which is a shopping and dining center in Disney World.

And it's a replica steamboat on Lake Buena Vista.

So it's like in the middle of the waters.

This lovely floating restaurant.

So what happened is

the perpetrator, they used scuba gear.

They swum through the lake to the restaurant and then like secured their equipment for their big getaway.

They go into the manager's office.

There were two employees there and it's not entirely clear yet, but it sounds like the perpetrator tied them up in a corner and stole between $10,000 and $20,000

and then scubaed away.

You know what sounds like the most impressive part of this to me?

Getting scuba gear into Disney World.

That seems harder than everything else.

Right.

Like, where did this person come from?

Where did they go?

How did they manage to, how did they manage to get in and out of scuba gear on a floating restaurant with nobody noticing?

Maybe they just took the fins off.

Although, I got to be honest with you.

Is that just like walking backwards along the deck the way people like do the scuba waddle?

If you are in Disney World with your family.

And then you see a guy dripping wet in scuba gear holding a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it, like walking away.

You're going to think it's part of the show, right?

He seems like a Disney character.

Yeah, no, they're definitely doing something official, right?

But here's what I want to know: Brittany, was the canvas bag, did it have camel on it?

Was it a manly camo?

Was it a manly heist bag?

Was it one of these girly ones?

No, this is definitely some idiot dude that came up with this.

But it's so specific.

Like, they got into the office, tied the people up, and got back out of the office with the money within like two minutes.

It's an incredible amount of effort

to rob a restaurant inside of a theme park.

There's such a

specific high effort heist.

There's got to be something else.

Like this is a cover for like then they also erased a USB drive or something.

They stole all the recipes.

Right, exactly.

Now you can make like, you can make a Cinderella lasagna at home yourself because now the recipe is out there.

Now you can, you too can make Sebastian crab cakes with a side of

the side of roast flounder.

I just want to see now, I want to see like a Mission Impossible heist where they're shoplifting a Coke at the end of it.

Here's the goal.

Here's what happened.

The heist was actually pulled off by Ariel.

She landed, dried off, and

her fans turned into legs.

So ridiculous.

It's the only way she was able to get away so fast.

At what point in the plotting of all of this do you just think this isn't worth it like it's so much effort it's insane it has to be more than just the money right they have it had they have to have taken something really special i would say would maybe it was just a crime too of opportunity that just came up but what would be the opportunity yeah it'd be like oh good thing i've got my scuba gear in the trunk i have a great idea i'm already in the lake in my scuba gear

Here comes the steamboat restaurant.

I couldn't help myself.

It was there for the taking.

They go to court and the judge is like, they're like,

should we charge this as being premeditated?

It's like, how could it not be premeditated?

How could this have just come up?

Hey, I'm swimming here.

All right, Ashley, who is joining our Ocean 7 crew to go rob the Burger King?

All right.

Welcome, Sean27 and Daniel Vick to the Ocean's Disney crew.

All right.

Well, that does it for us today.

September 17th, 2025.

We will be back to talk to you tomorrow.

We hope you will be here as well.

Bye, everybody.