421: Viking Legends: Famous

Speaker 1 This week, on Myths and Legends, we'll meet the maiden king who doesn't want to get married.

Speaker 1 Well, she's not opposed to marrying, if literally all the princes she ever came into contact with would just stop trying to kidnap her or burn down her house.

Speaker 1 And we'll see that all you need in order to take control of your life are magical seeing stones that also give you superpowers.

Speaker 1 The creature this week is why you should never practice a musical instrument ever again, because the monster that watches you sleep might make you play for them.

Speaker 1 This is Myths and Legends, episode 421, Famous.

Speaker 1 This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins.

Speaker 1 Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. Today's story is an interesting one.

Speaker 1 It's an Icelandic tale, but it was written much later than the usual ones we tell, around the 1300s. Also, its protagonist is not Icelandic or even Scandinavian, as far as I can tell.
She's French.

Speaker 1 She's the maiden king of Paris, maiden king being a term from Scandinavian legend for a woman who rules intentionally without a male counterpart, and thus is a sole powerful ruler of her own lands.

Speaker 1 France and the Vikings have a complicated and intertwined history, but this story really isn't concerned with all that.

Speaker 1 We're in the Viking age, in that the Vikings are still raiding and the Byzantine Empire is a strong force in the East, but those are really the only historical clues.

Speaker 1 We'll jump in with Nititha and her foster brother, Lieskjalther, sailing to a magical island.

Speaker 1 So, it's been a while since we've hung out. You're like, really smart, right?

Speaker 1 Leaskielther said to his foster sister, Natitha.

Speaker 1 Well, Socrates would say that anyone intelligent knows that they are nothing, and the smarter you are, the more humbling it should be because you're more aware of what you don't know,

Speaker 1 Natitha said as she took a deep breath of the cold sea air as they approached.

Speaker 1 Okay, anytime you respond to the question, Are you smart? with a quote from Socrates,

Speaker 1 the answer is yes, you can just say yes. The foster brother wrapped his cloak around himself tighter.

Speaker 1 He had heard that she was a person who knew 10 answers to a question when the most learned only knew one.

Speaker 1 They had been raised in the same house, but she was the daughter of the king of France and had become queen when her father died, ruling from Paris. But she didn't prefer the title of queen.

Speaker 1 She preferred maiden king.

Speaker 1 She stood there on the deck, her crown sporting four pillars, which held an eagle holding a hawk, with its wings outstretched to block the sun on her face. Her hair fell to the ground around her.

Speaker 1 Hey, I haven't seen you in a few years, the A. Skielther said, and he squinted to see the coastline.
Your hair, is that annoying? Do you ever step on it by accident?

Speaker 1 So, it's work, but I have a bunch of ladies for that, Natitha replied. The most annoying thing is when I crouch and I move and I stand up and it jerks my head back.

Speaker 1 I mainly just don't crouch anymore now. It's a power move.
I make the nobles I'm with do it. They hate it.
But if I didn't make them do it, they'd rise up against me. It's a whole thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, almost there, Natitha pointed, before calling out to her soldiers to strike the sails. Yeah, why are we going to this island, quote, beyond Sweden, close to the North Pole?

Speaker 1 Lieskjalther was really trying to keep it together on deck and look cool before his tough as nails maiden king sister, but it was getting too cold out here to look cool.

Speaker 1 Vizio, Natitha Natitha said, not losing sight of the island. Once we're there, we need to move quickly.
Is it dangerous? Liaskielther looked to his sister.

Speaker 1 For an island full of magical items and fruit? Surprisingly, no, Natitha said. Lieskielther breathed.
Oof, all right. The guy who owns it, though, not someone I want to cross.

Speaker 1 Not until we get those magical items, at least, Natitha said, and ordered her sailors onward.

Speaker 1 Natitha found the islet in the middle of the island. A rock with some grass and a few fruit trees, and a stairway that seemed to descend, somehow, into the lake.

Speaker 1 Beneath was a lighted cavern and a boat. It didn't look too seaworthy, though, because not only was it made of stone, but it was full of water.

Speaker 1 Nantitha wasn't after the boat, but the stones on the corners. They were shining and seemed to have a light unto themselves.

Speaker 1 They were seeing stones, one at each corner, walking along the edges of the boat. She looked into each one.

Speaker 1 She saw the princes and kings, queens, and maidens, births and celebrations, assassins and dirges, monsters in the deep and in the sky.

Speaker 1 She saw everything, and at each corner she stopped and plopped a stone, about the size of a baseball, into her bag.

Speaker 1 All right, she took a deep breath, turning with a nod to her soldiers, who had cleared out the fruit trees. We have ten minutes to get to the boats, Natitha said, before he gets here.

Speaker 1 They had seven minutes, it turned out, but Netitha had prepared for six, so they shot past Earl Virgilius' ships just before he closed off the cove, and shields flew to Natitha and her brother, cocooning them, so the arrows thudded into the wood and not their their flesh.

Speaker 1 He's too fast, the Askylther said, turning to face Natitha, who was sitting, looking into the stones one by one. Oh, is that how it's going to be now?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to have a conversation and you're just sitting there on your stone? the Aeskyltherther said, but Netitha ignored him.

Speaker 1 Oh, he'll catch up, for sure, she said, and waved the stone first over herself and then her brother. The soldiers abandoned their oars and lined up, just as they had been trained.

Speaker 1 And Netitha ran along along them, waving the stone above their heads. At the last one, she spun and watched the ships of Earl Virgilius.
Shouldn't we be moving? Lie Skjelther was getting more antsy.

Speaker 1 He'll hear, Natitha whispered. That's literally the last thing I'm worried about, Lie Skjelther informed his sister, matching her whisper for reasons he didn't fully understand.

Speaker 1 She put a finger to her lips and watched. Lie Skielther was a bit confused at first, when arrows from the now in-range ship didn't find the deck around him, or him.

Speaker 1 And he followed his sister's gaze to the approaching ships. And soon, the approaching ships were passing ships.
They can't see us, he whispered, but his sister was distracted.

Speaker 1 She was watching the man commanding the other ship squinting on the horizon. She was, it seemed, quite focused.

Speaker 1 Lieskielther smiled when Netitha was able to tear her glance away and read the meaning of her foster brother's face. Wouldn't want to cross paths with him.
I think you do want to cross paths with him.

Speaker 1 I think you want to cross more than paths, Lie Skielthur chided. Rolling her eyes and giving him a shove that bordered on painful, Natitha said, gross.

Speaker 1 She whispered her order to her soldiers and they made for home.

Speaker 1 So, I noticed your raiding ships sailing up the Seine to my city, Natitha, the maiden king, said six months later to the young man about her age, who she invited to come meet with her.

Speaker 1 Hard not to notice them, am I right? Ingi winked. Let's cut to the chase because I, for one, cannot handle the tension between us.

Speaker 1 I know who you are, and you definitely know who I am, so let's just get this going, right?

Speaker 1 Who are you? Natitha asked. Ingi laughed.
Wait, seriously? He was the son of Hugon, who ruled over Constantinople. Ingi had come to, well, you know.

Speaker 1 I really don't, Natitha sighed. Came to make you my wife, babe.
Ingi laughed that it wasn't a moment too soon either.

Speaker 1 If she was this slow to pick up what he was putting down, then she should be grateful that there was a man here now to rule. It was a wonder she made it this far.
Oh, good, so you rule, then?

Speaker 1 Well, I will. I rule the whole Eastern Empire one day, and it could all be part yours.
As much as I want to give you. Wink? Ingy grinned.
One day, Natitha said, sitting back in her chair.

Speaker 1 That's what she was kinda hung up on. The thing about one day is that it didn't exist.

Speaker 1 Might never exist.

Speaker 1 She wasn't interested in promises, only realities.

Speaker 1 So he

Speaker 1 no holdings, then?

Speaker 1 I have a duchy, Ingie shifted in his chair. Aw, that's cute.

Speaker 1 And if my understanding of Byzantine politics and inheritance is up to date, that's more of a military command given to you by daddy that can be revoked at any time, and not actual holdings, right?

Speaker 1 There was no response from Ingi. I have seven duchies, Netitha, the maiden king said.
But real ones. Compared to all my holdings, and the dukes and kings who answer to me, your little

Speaker 1 charity command seems a little small, doesn't it? Natitha rose. He could go back to his ships now.
Her armada would escort him safely to the sea.

Speaker 1 Of course, he could do whatever he wanted, but she didn't advise going further down the Seine.

Speaker 1 Might not be safe for him. I'll have you know that I have a reputation too.
Ingie stood.

Speaker 1 When I raid, I kill robbers and Vikings, but let peaceful people pass in safety. Ingie's voice cracked as Lie Skjelther and a group of burly armed guards helped him from the room.

Speaker 1 Well, that's real heroic of you. Not killing defenseless travelers.
Your medal's in the mail. Natitha turned and strode away.

Speaker 1 You didn't have to humiliate him, Lie Skjelther said a couple hours later, after it was confirmed the ships were heading back down the Seine and toward the sea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it was just fun, Natitha said. It didn't didn't matter.
It would have ended the same way. An ego that fragile was always on the verge of shattering, and any rejection would do it.

Speaker 1 Oh well, that was Ingi, and it definitely wasn't the last they'd see of him. Who did they think would be coming next?

Speaker 1 Leah Skialther took a deep breath and unrolled the scroll, the long one that held the names of the men who would likely come seeking his foster sister's hand. He read the highlighted ones only.

Speaker 1 Well, you have Logi, Belogi, and and Hetherlogi, sons of Soldan of Sirkland. Sorry, don't mean to spit so much, it's just a very tough sentence, Leah Skielther said.

Speaker 1 Natitha wiped her eyes, that Natitha wiped her eyes. Cirkland, where is that again? It's an old Norse word meaning land of the Serkir.
So think the Caliphate or the lands of the Middle East.

Speaker 1 Hetherlogi is the one to watch out for. He had long, thin cheeks, and a crooked, twitchy mouth.
No sorcery and witchcraft. The other two brothers are respectable, though, they plunder all summer long.

Speaker 1 All right, who else? Oh, there's Bleblarnius, King of India. His son is Lafornius.
He's handsome, a strong and adept warrior, likes reading, shooting, and fencing, and quote, was good at board games.

Speaker 1 Kind of a unicorn, hard to find all those in one guy. Which must be why no woman has any peace from him, and he doesn't stay with princesses longer than a month, Titha pointed out.

Speaker 1 Leoskielther squinted. Oh, it, hmm, yeah, it did say that.
Well, you never know. Maybe she would be the one to change him.
At this, Natitha laughed.

Speaker 1 King Ingi's skin crawled as he sat sullen in the back of his boat. His men were confused.
He never returned without his plunder, but he had hardly said a word since leaving Paris.

Speaker 1 They couldn't stand against Natitha's forces. Everyone could see that.
So they all quietly made their way back home, sailing toward Byzantium.

Speaker 1 With the thought of not getting what he wanted the moment he wanted it, Ingi felt another cry coming on.

Speaker 1 And he didn't have the cover of the rain, and could only dunk his head so many times off the moving boat and wail into the waves before he roused suspicion.

Speaker 1 Island, we're going to stop at that island, he pointed. They could all cook dinner and drink and yell on the beach and stuff and not bother him alone in the woods.

Speaker 1 If they, you know, if they heard someone crying real loud and screaming out Natitha's name, it was a cryptid and he was fighting it, don't come help.

Speaker 1 Sand and rocks scraped the bottom of the boat as the men pulled it ashore, with Ingi scrambling out with an urgency reserved for bathroom emergencies or especially bad cry stops.

Speaker 1 The boss is real sad about this one. One of the raiders shook his head.
Wish he could just let it go. Hey, love answers to no law but its own, and the heart follows its own stars, brother.

Speaker 1 One of the raiders laid a rough hand on his shoulder with a squeeze. Yeah, too true.
The first raider nodded. Too true.

Speaker 1 It wasn't 10 minutes later, though, that they heard the boss, Ingy, call out with a voice that seemed to emanate from a grin that they were to pack up. They were heading back to Paris.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, what's that smell? One of the raiders retched and almost lost most of his seagull jerky. That smell is my new wizard friend, Ingy grinned.

Speaker 1 Foxtone, the, quote, large and old man behind him, brandishing yellow-green teeth as he called out, waved his tattered, stained cloak. It was Kismet.

Speaker 1 Ingi was crying in the woods, and who should happen upon him but an obvious wizard?

Speaker 1 Ingi asked him if he was a wizard, saying that if he could get Ingi the hand of Natitha, the maiden king in Paris, he would give the wizard a golden ring and twenty L's, about 75 feet or 23 meters, of red scarlet.

Speaker 1 Foxtone said, and this is a direct quote from one translation, I don't suppose that I lack sorcery and spellcraft and wizardry compared with anyone else, whatever needs to be done.

Speaker 1 I will point out that I and anyone else can probably say that truthfully. This was, however, a confirmation to Ingi that this was his guy.

Speaker 1 Foxtone, Foxtone cried out, and Ingie directed him back to the ships.

Speaker 1 Fox Stone and Ingie managed to slip inside the Ile de l'Ecité, the island on the Seine, that comprises the heart of Viking Age Paris, and made their way to Le Palais de l'Ecité.

Speaker 1 Here is where you need to disappear, my friend, Fox Stone said, before throwing a blanket over Ingi.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, it smells so bad, Ingi said, gagging. Those are my secret herbs and spices that make it work.
Also, my sick cat used to sleep on it. No!

Speaker 1 Foxtone blurted out. He removed the cloak from the prince.
It wasn't working. What's the matter? Ingi began to feel another tantrum coming on.
Do you have silver? Foxstone asked.

Speaker 1 Ingi produced his purse. Yes, a lot of it.
Silver and gold, he was basically a king. Ah, okay, that's the problem.
Here, I'll hold those, Foxstone said.

Speaker 1 taking the purse and throwing the cloak around Ingi. He gasped again.
Ingi, Ingi, whisper to me. I need to keep a hold of you, Ingy, or else I'll lose you.
For it worked!

Speaker 1 Ingie celebrated and walked with a blanket over his head, invisible, being led by his wizard friend.

Speaker 1 There were a few times Ingie thought he heard Foxtone talking to someone, and the jingling of coins followed by the opening of doors. And Ingi almost said something.

Speaker 1 But then he heard the voice of the woman he had loved all of his life since he learned she existed a week ago. Lieskiothur, what is that horrid smell?

Speaker 1 I know this is the Middle Ages and there are a lot of horrid smells, but that one is so bad. It's like a dead skunk that's been marinated in spoiled milk.

Speaker 1 Ingi allowed himself a peek, just as a balm for his wounded heart, and lifted the cloak in time to see Foxtone call out, Gag of silence and invisibility bag, as he snuck up behind the Maiden King, gagged her, and threw her in a similarly stained and stinky sack.

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Speaker 1 For three people with invisibility, they sure did a lot of running.

Speaker 1 They apparently got lucky, and the guards were not at their posts on the way out, and the alarm only went up when the trio was off the island and slipping away into the night. It was all show.

Speaker 1 I knew it. Ingi grinned as, making his way back to Constantinople, he paid Stonefox in gold and way too much scarlet.

Speaker 1 She had been docile the whole way, and even a little nice to him, obviously afraid.

Speaker 1 She sure could bark orders and make fun of his tiny hollings from the safety of her throne, but she was no different from anyone else once pulled out into the world. But he got her.

Speaker 1 And everyone would respect him and not make fun of him at prince parties, and his dad would finally pay attention to him and like him.

Speaker 1 Stone Fox thought that there was a lot to unpack there, but took his payment and told Ingie to be careful around this Natitha.

Speaker 1 He was a solid trickster himself, and let me tell you, game-recognized game. What do you mean? You've always been forthright with me.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Oh,

Speaker 1 Stone Fox, thinking yourself a trickster, Ingie laughed. That's cute.
You couldn't be a trickster if you wanted to. Ingie laughed.
Hm.

Speaker 1 yes, Stone Fox smiled, took all of his ill gotten gains, and left.

Speaker 1 As well as Netitha got on with Ingie, she was even nicer to all the ladies' maids, and Listalin, Ingi's sister, all the women who were responsible for getting her ready for her wedding, and also searching her person.

Speaker 1 Netitha was such a sweetheart that they let her get ready on her own. As they walked to the beautiful, tasteful outdoor wedding, on a spring night in Turkey, Netitha stopped.

Speaker 1 The rest of the women stopped with her, and Ingi looked on from the altar. Netitha turned to face the crowd.
Her life had taken an unexpected turn, but such were the ways of people.

Speaker 1 Still, now she was marrying this grand prince, and she couldn't be more grateful.

Speaker 1 It's said all of our destinies are written in the stars, and she knows that if she had just looked up more, she would have seen hers and not fought it.

Speaker 1 At this she looked up to the stars, and instinctually, the crowd and prince did as well. When they looked back, she had vanished.

Speaker 1 Holding the stone above her head, she slipped away from the wedding without a noise and found her way down to the docks, where, still keeping the magic stone over her head, she changed clothes, took out a long-term loan with generous repayment options from a local merchant, and paid for passage on a ship that was leaving that night.

Speaker 1 The alarm only went up when she was sailing from Constantinople. Constantinople.

Speaker 1 Nice of you to come back, Leo Skjeltherk chided his foster sister a week later when he found her sitting in her quarters, like she hadn't disappeared without a trace nearly a fortnight ago.

Speaker 1 That's why you're here to cover for me. Her face was a glow as she looked in her stone.
Oh, to cover for you, while you do what, exactly.

Speaker 1 Oh, not much, just got kidnapped and taken across Europe, escaped, and returned without anyone here knowing. Natitha scrolled through the princes.

Speaker 1 Man, she really kicked a beehive of these self-entitled dorks by existing.

Speaker 1 She didn't dare try to mock him to his face, she knew that she needed to get out of there, but she was glad to be able to trash Ingy's reputation as she sailed home, and her legend, that he had tried to take her by force but failed, outpaced her back to Paris.

Speaker 1 The problem was that her existing and trying to live a life of her own made these guys all the more crazy for her. Ingi was the biggest problem.
He was coming back.

Speaker 1 Good thing she could watch him through the stone. He was on an island, one with another fox-themed wizard con man.
This one was called Sly Fox.

Speaker 1 I don't have context for this. Who's Foxmen? Leah Skielther was lost.
Yeah, we don't have time to fill you in. Because we're doing makeovers,

Speaker 1 Natitha stood. Aw, yeah, Leah Skielther clapped.
Not for you, Natitha scowled. Aw.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I need you to go

Speaker 1 purchase an enslaved woman for me. Natitha wrinkled her nose.
You're the boss, but I don't like where this is going, Leah Skielther grimaced. Oh, do not worry about this part.

Speaker 1 It's gonna get way worse, Natitha said, and started filling her brother in on what needed to happen.

Speaker 1 It's like looking in a mirror, Lieskjelther said, but a mirror you're standing next to because I can see two of you, because she looks just like you, Lieskjalther clarified to some extent when he explained his sister, Natitha, and the enslaved woman he had bought, the one that looked just like her, when dressed like her.

Speaker 1 And look, the story so far, pretty progressive. A ruler who's a woman has complete agency over her life and is finding ways to outwit male suitors, aka kidnappers, that's a breath of fresh air.

Speaker 1 It is still a tale from European folklore, and their values are,

Speaker 1 let's say, different from ours.

Speaker 1 Unless you think it's an okay and good thing that a woman is enslaved and then left as bait for kidnappers who then take her, assault her, and then leave her shamed and destitute in a faraway land.

Speaker 1 If that's the case, you've really made it a long way into this podcast without writing me an email telling me how terrible I am for thinking humans should be decent to one another.

Speaker 1 But yeah, in some ways it's refreshing that a main character who is a woman in Viking legends can also make reprehensible, self-serving choices as well. And that's essentially what happened.

Speaker 1 And Titho watched a live feed of Ingi and Sly Fox slipping into the palace, al Ocarina of Time style, where the guards follow predictable patterns with plenty of gaps, and the woman, who looked just like Natitha when she was dressed up, was kidnapped.

Speaker 1 She made it back to Constantinople before they figured it out, mainly because the magic apples Natitha had taken from the island, when she got the stones, made it so you couldn't speak for a month if you took a single bite.

Speaker 1 Aversa's fate is sadly left unknown, but Ingi's reputation was further soiled by his inability to kidnap a woman and force her to be his wife. Well, his inability to kidnap the right woman, it seems.

Speaker 1 I don't feel good about this, Lieskielther said. You know what else doesn't feel good? The sacking of our city.
Natitha looked up from her stone.

Speaker 1 That's a hard right into a completely different off-road, Lee Skjelther wanted to talk through and maybe try to help Iversa. But Natitha held up the stone.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was an invincible army marching from Cirkland, the Middle East, led by Hreither Logi, the crafty wizard brother, and Vilogi, the more respectable but not so respectable that he won't pillage and kidnap brother.

Speaker 1 Lie Skjelther shook his head. Okay, we're going to talk about Aversa, but that requires not dying long enough to do so.
How are we going to beat this?

Speaker 1 The answer to how they were going to beat this was the answer to so many things in life.

Speaker 1 A thick glass dome a bunch of soldiers could stand on, and a spiky pit dug directly into the main floor of the house.

Speaker 1 When the brothers arrived in France, they said, quite literally, nice kingdom you have here.

Speaker 1 Would be a shame if two brothers named Vologi and Hreitherlogi were to pillage it up unless you marry one of us.

Speaker 1 You probably mean my sister, Kleaskjalther clarified and continued, saying that the maiden king was wise and could see that there was no way she would be able to stand against their invincible armies.

Speaker 1 Since it was late, she set up camps for them. One would be over by the plain, one by the river, on either side of the city.

Speaker 1 Natitha, the maiden king, had spotted a glaring weakness in their invincible army that had come to take her captive. There were two leaders, and while they were brothers, they were still people.

Speaker 1 And the type of man who would come to the city to ransack it and take its ruler as his unwilling bride, let's just say he might not have the strongest and straightest moral compass, and could probably be inclined to betray his brother and take the advantage, should one present itself.

Speaker 1 Just between us, she totally wants to marry you, Klee Skjalther told Vologi that night, presenting the advantage.

Speaker 1 on account of you not being a gross magician and she wants you to meet her in the early hours of the morning to negotiate her surrender, so she can cement things with you before Krytherlogi even wakes.

Speaker 1 Vologi was down for that and quietly organized a 4.30 wake-up call for 1,000 men to march into the city.

Speaker 1 At 4.45, hundreds of Leah Skjelther's warriors sat huddled, gripping the chains of the glass roof that was hanging over the massive entryway.

Speaker 1 They had tested this a dozen times in the last week, and the hundreds of men up on the walls fanning kept the sulfur smell away from Vologi's triumphal march into Paris.

Speaker 1 Lier Skjelther knew it wouldn't be perfect and guessed that they would get about

Speaker 1 70% of them, about 700 in the trap. He was wrong, but good wrong.

Speaker 1 For him.

Speaker 1 Not good for the roughly 900 warriors who heard the thud of the several inch thick glass dome come down all around them, Lieskjalther could stick around only as long as it took the workers to get the funnel secured.

Speaker 1 Not caring for the smell of burning sulfur and pitch, or the sound of the screams of the men as it poured down upon them, Lieskielther rushed into the inner wall, where his archers were taking care of the rest of the army.

Speaker 1 To the Maiden King's credit and ingenuity, once the pitch and sulfur were in and the opening sealed, Lieskjothur could hardly hear the screams, and he was right next to it.

Speaker 1 There were no stragglers, no survivors, and no chance of Heatherlogi finding out, which was how he was convinced, as the maiden king's army was cleaning the entryway and removing the glass, to betray his brother, and to make a deal before Velogi had a chance to.

Speaker 1 Liaskjjalther urged him to go to the queen's chamber right away, and Lieskjilther would go delay Velogi.

Speaker 1 Heatherlogi took his force directly to the palace by a different gate, and while he was tumbling down in the spiky darkness, the worst type of darkness, his men were massacred in an ambush outside.

Speaker 1 What remained of their forces fled immediately, and the Maiden King's fame and glory spread to every land.

Speaker 1 We'll meet yet another prince coming to court or, I guess, kidnap the maiden king. But that will, once again, be right after this.

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Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Speaker 1 I'm always reminded every fallback of the opening paragraph of Moby Dick, where Ishmael talks about a time when it is, quote, damp, drizzly November in my soul. You know, and that happens every year.

Speaker 1 Halloween is over and we collectively decide to speed up how dismal and dark winter can be. I mean, it can be.
It's cold and,

Speaker 1 but it can also be a reminder to reach out and check in with those we care about and remind each other that we're not alone. It can feel a little scary or awkward.

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Speaker 1 King Laforneus, son of King Blablarnius of India, was amusing himself in the forest. No indication of what that entailed when he froze.

Speaker 1 The mythological dwarf he spotted noticed him almost at the same moment, and the dwarf's eyes went to the boulder.

Speaker 1 Lafornius shook his head and broke off into a run, beating the dwarf to the boulder by footsteps. I curse you to be out of the stone, Laforneus said and fist-pumped.
What?

Speaker 1 I curse you to be out of the stone, Laforneus repeated. What does that even mean? the dwarf seemed very confused.

Speaker 1 You traveled through stones and now you can't'cause I cursed you, and you have to do what I say if you ever want to go home again, Laforneus gloated.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? Travel through stones? It doesn't make sense at all to me. The dwarf took a seat on a nearby root.
Then why were you running for this boulder? the king pointed out.

Speaker 1 I was just coming over to look at it. I didn't even see you.
I just appreciate rock and stone, the dwarf shrugged.

Speaker 1 I need you to help me win the hand of the maiden king of France, Laforneus demanded, and then he would lift the curse.

Speaker 1 No curse, bro, we don't do that, we don't travel through stones, but I will help you. For money, or a large gold ring and my pick of the livestock in your herds, the dwarf said.

Speaker 1 Fine, and I'll also lift the curse when we're done because I know that you're lying, Lafornius said. He just needed to know how to get her.

Speaker 1 Laforneas, Leiskielther said a month or so later, clasping the king's hand and greeting him at the docks. So great to see him, they have been expecting him.
You have, and how do you know who I am?

Speaker 1 Laforneus was confused. This guy, as if his reputation didn't precede him Leaskielther slapped him on the back.
Too modest, you're too modest. Come in.
We have a seat of honor just for you, King.

Speaker 1 They did, right next to Netitha, with a dozen archers watching them from the shadows of the alcoves above the whole time, red wedding style.

Speaker 1 Because while she saw him coming, she didn't see what happened months ago.

Speaker 1 DVR for the Stones must have been a whole other subscription and you probably had to set it to record ahead of time anyway, it was a whole thing. And that was how Natitha didn't see the magic ring.

Speaker 1 A magic ring was hard to spot, anyway, but it wasn't hard to feel. Especially after it was triggered when Laforneus warmly touched Natitha's back as part of the conversation.

Speaker 1 When he did so, it wasn't just her that froze, but the room. His men outside got the signal, you know, the entire city of Paris freezing at once.

Speaker 1 It was a hard signal to miss, and they helped him carry Natitha from the room. Olias Gjalther and the others watched helplessly.

Speaker 1 When they arrived at the boats and unfurled their sails, the dwarf gave them a favorable wind back to India.

Speaker 1 When they made it back to India, the dwarf thanked the king for his business and walked all of his herds into a stone in the field, prompting an I knew it from Laforneas.

Speaker 1 but there wasn't any time to gloat because he had a wedding to get to, except that his betrothed had literally flown away. What?

Speaker 1 he demanded, looking at the courtyard.

Speaker 1 He heard of what happened to Ingi, of the Byzantine Empire, and there was a standing order that should Netitha ever simply vanish, they were to immediately lock down the palace.

Speaker 1 But according to the guards, they didn't vanish. They simply shot off into the air.
Wait, they?

Speaker 1 Apparently, Netitha and Suyeline, Laforneus' sister, really hit it off, with Suyeline finally having someone her own age, with whom she could connect on shared interests and values, like how young women shouldn't be kidnapped or forced to marry people they hate.

Speaker 1 When Netitha revealed the stone, with this one's power apparently being flight, the women took off for France and, after that, became inseparable friends, quote, drinking from the same cup and party neither in sleep nor during meals.

Speaker 1 Soldon, the father of the various Logis,

Speaker 1 was mad that his sons were melted and skewered, so he called together an army with his remaining son. Logi, just Logi, not the logi or huthalogi, and they sailed for France.

Speaker 1 Okay, this one is actually bad, Natitha said to Suyolin as the women watched the stones.

Speaker 1 The army was absolutely massive and, from sitting in a conversation between the king and the prince, the plan was to just destroy everything and pick Natitha out from the wreckage.

Speaker 1 No talking, no tricks, just destruction and death.

Speaker 1 While the army sailed from the east, Lee Skjelther called every warrior, young and old, from France and the Maiden King's client kingdoms and knew that it still might not be enough.

Speaker 1 Because these guys wouldn't let up, it wasn't a battle for a sister's hand, but for their kingdom's very existence.

Speaker 1 Liaskjalther and the French forces met the army of Soldon and Logi at, I guess, an island known as Cartagia, which I'm reading could be considered Carthage, though it calls it an island and, quote, a huge lair of pirates, who I guess also got swept up in the fighting, too, because there were no talks, no emissaries, just battle as soon as it was light enough to do so.

Speaker 1 The armies fought for three days, and it was not going well for Leah Skjalther. He was down to 1,500 soldiers when Logi thundered from the ship, standing ahead above his whole army.

Speaker 1 Waving his father's golden banner, he picked Leah Skjalther out in the fray and rode against him. Natitha put the stone down in tears.
when she watched her brother fall.

Speaker 1 She dared another look or two, but only saw him laying there, eyes open, blood trickling from his mouth, while Soldan led the massacre of their army. At this she swore off the stones.

Speaker 1 They had helped her, sure, but she had become arrogant, and they had cost her everything.

Speaker 1 She prepared whatever she could for defenses, but knew the enemy would be at the gates in a matter of weeks, if not sooner.

Speaker 1 Still, she could spend her last days mourning her brother and honoring his memory, and preparing to defend herself and Suyolin by whatever means necessary, when the inevitable finally came.

Speaker 1 But the final invasion of their city turned out to be quite evidable, it seemed, because days bled to weeks and

Speaker 1 nothing.

Speaker 1 No news from the scouts to the south or west that anyone was coming for them. Then, finally, nearly a month after Leah Skjilther fell, Leah Skjjolther arrived, leading a small army home.

Speaker 1 Natitha didn't understand.

Speaker 1 And Leah Skjelther said honestly, he didn't either. It was Laforneus.
Natitha and Sieline looked at each other. That made...

Speaker 1 no sense. And real quickly, it didn't.

Speaker 1 Early manuscripts break off at the battle in the pirate's lair, and, when the later ones pick up the story, Laforneus of India, remember the one with the dwarf, is inexplicably at the battle.

Speaker 1 Leoskielther explained that he never got a straight answer for why Lafornius was sailing an army across the world.

Speaker 1 But as Leoskialthur lay dying, next to the already dead Logi, beat him by the way, he heard the horns of Lafornus and saw him put a spear through Soldan's chest.

Speaker 1 When Leoskielthur woke, he was in Lafornius' tents, with the king himself tending to his wounds. It took a few weeks for him to be able to rise, and Lafornius was nothing but gracious.

Speaker 1 They talked and the conversation worked its way around to Suyoline, and Leah Skjelther said, yeah, she was in France. Loved it, too.
We aren't told why Lafornius seemingly had a change of heart.

Speaker 1 Maybe he just wanted to be nice to Leah Skjelther and buy points with Natitha when it came to his next plot.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was because his own sister found his own beliefs and actions so reprehensible that she chose to fly across the world with a stranger and leave her home forever just to get away from him.

Speaker 1 One of those would probably have an effect on me. He refused to let Leosiolther travel, quote, like a vagrant, and gave him ten ships, men, and wargear.

Speaker 1 Suyoline looked to Natitha, who was thinking the same thing. They rushed to the palace and found the seeing stones, summoning an image of Lafornius, but there was

Speaker 1 nothing.

Speaker 1 She searched all the cities in all the world, but couldn't locate him. Even searching for the dead revealed revealed their graves.
This didn't make sense.

Speaker 1 After being sought for years, the one man Natitha wanted to find was gone completely.

Speaker 1 That autumn, a king sailed up to Paris, completely out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 He was the king of Mundia, wherever that was, and he said he didn't even realize Paris had a maiden king, and no, he didn't come seeking her hand.

Speaker 1 He could just as soon pass through and stay elsewhere if she wanted, but he was looking for some place to winter. Natitha invited him in.

Speaker 1 With those same archers hiding in the shadows, Natitha sat with this king, Eskavarthur, and interviewed him to gauge his character and intentions, and it went well.

Speaker 1 Very well. He was charming, but not too charming, open but a listener, and the pair talked well into the evening.
Deeming him to be very wise, she agreed that he could winter in her kingdom.

Speaker 1 It wasn't just his conversation.

Speaker 1 He could play the harp and sing and tell stories, and for the four of them, Natitha, Suyalin, King Escovarthur, and Leah Skilther, the winter passed in the blink of an eye.

Speaker 1 Come spring, King Escovarthur was resolved to continue on his journeys, but Natitha waved him into her chambers. He had entertained and beguiled her all winter.

Speaker 1 Now it was her turn to do the same for him. She sat him down at a table, across from herself and Suyolin, and pulled out one of the seeing stones.
Have you ever heard of King Laforneus of India?

Speaker 1 Natitha said. But before Eskavarthur could answer, she filled him in.
Laforneus was the worst. Forced a dwarf into service to kidnap me, drove his own sister away, Natitha said.

Speaker 1 He was nothing like you, but the thing is.

Speaker 1 She picked up the stone and it started to glow. I can't find him.

Speaker 1 She demonstrated the power of the stone and showed him a few different people before searching for Laforneas, but sweeping over every land, he was nowhere. Weird, Escovarthur chuckled.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I thought so too, Natitha said. It had never happened before and hadn't happened again.

Speaker 1 Not until this morning. She waved over the stone and called up the location of King Eskavarthur, saying that this should be an easy one.

Speaker 1 But the stone remained searching, over all the cities and plains, and the mountains and the ocean depths. It could not find King Escovarthur, the same King Escovarthur, that sat next to her.

Speaker 1 Escovarthur

Speaker 1 slumped in his chair.

Speaker 1 She didn't say what to do. He shook his head.
He looked up and met the eyes of Natitha, then Suyoline.

Speaker 1 He went to his aunt, a sorceress. She gave him this disguise.
He put the ring on, and oh, he paused. He should probably take this off.

Speaker 1 He took the ring off, and instantly, Lafornia sat downcast in front of her.

Speaker 1 The last time she had seen him, he had taken her from her home with magic, but I did dress up as this king, and I came thinking, I don't know,

Speaker 1 maybe there'll be some obvious thing that'll show up at the right time. But then we got to talking, and well,

Speaker 1 he began to rise and leave, but Natitha's hand found his.

Speaker 1 She said she didn't like Lafornius, the king who took her from her home. He was arrogant and vain and trying to prove himself to the world.
She did, however,

Speaker 1 love Askvarthur. If she could let go of who Lafornius had been, maybe he could let go of who he had been as well.
The pair embraced, bringing in Suyoline, too.

Speaker 1 As Lafornius and Natitha left the room holding hands, Leah Skjelther stormed up. Leah Skjelther yelled at his sister, I have put up with a lot, but you need to accept this man.
He has changed.

Speaker 1 He is a hero and a stalwart king, and he saved my life. And if you don't marry him, I'm leaving.

Speaker 1 And yes, I did just realize you're holding hands, and so you probably reconciled, but I'm already going, so I'm very happy for you both, and I wish you the absolute best.

Speaker 1 Leah Skielther hugged them both.

Speaker 1 So they began planning the wedding, and if you've been keeping track and really how could you keep track, there's so many names, there is still someone out there.

Speaker 1 King Ingy paced the halls of his palace. He would marry no woman except the maiden king, and it wasn't fair that she chose Laforneus just because he showed personal growth and change.

Speaker 1 He could change too. Inge wouldn't try to sneak in and trick her.
He would bring an army this time.

Speaker 1 Saibar, that's not really personal change and growth, that's a worse version of the thing that he was. But he couldn't be deterred at this point.
He rode for France. And he did really well, actually.

Speaker 1 Enraged that Natitha could have agency and personal choice in her life, he killed Frenchmen two at a time. The French and Indian armies, exhausted though they were by constant war, put up a fight.

Speaker 1 So much so that Lafornius, who hadn't yet married Natitha, rode out and challenged King Ingie to single combat. Whoever lived would have the right to Natitha's hand.

Speaker 1 Natitha herself gave a nod from the wall. One way or another, this would end here.
And she trusted in Laforneus' bravery and skill.

Speaker 1 Which was why she was horrified when the lance went right through Laforneus.

Speaker 1 To his credit, he also put a lance through Ingi, and it turned out to be more of a lance, because Lafornius was the only one with enough strength and consciousness to drag Ingie from the battlefield and to the tents before he collapsed.

Speaker 1 Suyoline, his sister, it turned out, was an excellent healer, and so she managed to bring them both back from the brink of death and spent a lot of time in the tents doing so.

Speaker 1 So much time that

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 Natitha said when she heard the news. He's actually a really sweet man, Suyoline said.
He kidnapped me twice.

Speaker 1 Though, kind of what guy hasn't tried to? Selene pointed out. He's the worst.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you said the same thing about Laforneas, but you put your life in his hands and now you're marrying him and he's great and you love him, Selene said.

Speaker 1 The things that Ingi has done. People can't change, not that much.
Suyeline paused for a moment. Speaking of bad things people have done.
She was supposed to ask, who was what was her name? Iversa?

Speaker 1 Natitha said, now that was

Speaker 1 okay, yeah, that was

Speaker 1 in hindsight, that was hard to defend. She exhaled sharply, fine.
But if this was all a ruse and he tried to kidnap her at his own wedding, she was going to turn him into a human porcupine.

Speaker 1 Suyoline smiled and embraced her friend. To Ingi's

Speaker 1 credit, he didn't try to kidnap her at the wedding. He was in love with Suyoline, saying saying that she surpassed all the women in the northern lands except Natitha, according to the text.

Speaker 1 So they're going to have to work through that, but happily ever after,

Speaker 1 ish. And that was true for all the couples.

Speaker 1 Lafornius and Natitha wed and ruled France together, and even Leah Skielther found a match in Ingi's sister and married her, splitting his time between France and Constantinople.

Speaker 1 And so ends the story of Natitha the famous, who, for the rest of her life, didn't have people trying to burn down her house and or kidnap her, which was, for her, all she ever wanted.

Speaker 1 That she found a match in a good man she loved was just icing on the cake.

Speaker 1 That's it for the story this week. This was an interesting one because the ending feels, frankly, too modern.
But everything that happened was 100% in the text.

Speaker 1 The prince getting the ring from his aunt to look different, but not fully knowing what he was doing and just improvising.

Speaker 1 And he and Natitha growing close not out of subterfuge, but genuine affection. And her choosing him because he was now different.
It was a nice ending.

Speaker 1 Real quickly, if you'd like to support the show, and get ad-free and bonus episodes, check out the membership on mythpodcast.com and Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 1 And if you're looking for other things to listen to, there are 10 episodes of Fictional Out Now. Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 The creature this time is the Henki from Scotland, specifically Orkney and Shetland. The Henkies aren't a specific type of creature, but a subset of a creature called a trow.

Speaker 1 Basically, it's a trow that hanks, and you're probably thinking, oh, a trow that hanks, that clarifies things, thank you.

Speaker 1 A trow is a mischievous fairy creature, who are depicted as anything between massive giants or diminutive gray-clad fairies.

Speaker 1 And I realize that I'm still not actually clarifying anything, because I just gave you the entire range for size of a humanoid creature.

Speaker 1 Hank, though, is easy, because according to several sources, it means to limp. So a hanky is a fairy creature that limps when it dances, around a fairy circle.

Speaker 1 They are known to be nocturnal, dancing and playing at night. Apparently they have two types of dances.
One is beautifully intricate with exquisite moves and steps.

Speaker 1 The other they squat on the ground, clasp their hands around their thighs, and lurch up and down, kicking out with alternating legs.

Speaker 1 I wanted to get up and try it just to see, but Carissa walked by just now and I'm pretty sure I would never live it down.

Speaker 1 They enter our houses when we sleep, but as far as I can tell, we're mostly safe, except for, you know, our peace of mind and sense of safety and well-being, the Henkies, it seems, are only after musicians because they kidnap them.

Speaker 1 For the musician, the upside is you learn some new songs.

Speaker 1 The downside is that you've been kidnapped and pressed into service for fairies for the night, and if they don't like your playing or you try to escape, they'll punish you by pinching.

Speaker 1 That's actually the main reason I've been putting off learning the guitar. My own safety, not years-long procrastination and laziness.

Speaker 1 I'm not entirely sure, but it's possible the entire name for this subset of creatures comes from one sad, quote, trow wife who was overheard by a traveler.

Speaker 1 She couldn't find a partner to dance, so she sang the following: Hey, Cook Cuddy, and ho, Cook Cuddy, and who will dance with me, Cook Cuddy?

Speaker 1 She looked about and saw nay, buddy, say I'll hank away myself, Cook Cuddy.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, just like a nickname I got in college, be careful of one weird word or thing you do once, because it'll probably stick with you forever as a nickname.

Speaker 1 That's it for this time. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser.
Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes.

Speaker 1 There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

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