Tickling Tonsils, Kiffin Drama & George Clooney on Pranks, Parenting & Jason's Batman | EP 168

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Dude, anything that combines crackers, meat, cheese, and mustard, it doesn't matter what kind it is. You got Pepper Jack, you got Provolone.

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You were gonna do another oceans. What? You guys are doing another one?

But yo, now we're old, so it's gonna be like mostly just trying not to crap yourself.

That wasn't really a bucket. That was an offensive lineman, duck walk, get the hips in there.
I wish it would have been more of the bucking action. I don't think Dom was ready for it.

There wasn't much thrust in there. Get this.
He told me to S his D. Did you just hear him? I think that should be a 15-yard penalty, sir.

Is there an interim coach? Bring Eli back. Eli.

Jason, I dig you, man. You're a Hall of Famer.
Travis, you broke me, man.

You take these big beaters you got and you put them into that chimney of the chest. I'm remembering you telling me to put my beaters in this chest.
I'm a basket weave guy myself.

This is our greatest episode ever.

Welcome back to New Heist, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, a wondery show brought to you by Yeti.

Oh, Yeti coolers, nice. And everything else that Yeti makes now.

Gotta love those. Yeah, that was nice.
We're your hosts. I'm Travis Kelsey, my big brother, Jason Kelsey, out of Cincinnati, University of Cincinnati, Cleveland Heights, Ohio, as most of you know.

Cincinnati, ah, football. Ah, hasn't been our year these past three games.
Really, really took a turn for the worse, boys. But

yeah, we're both eligible. So go have some fun with the gang and whatever bowl you end up in.
What was your favorite non-big bowl game game you went to? My favorite bowl, low-key. Which one?

Still to this day. You didn't get the go.
International Bowl. It was in Toronto, Canada.
Well, yes, because you went to fucking Toronto. We went to Toronto.

I was still not 21, and the legal age for everything there was 18. And we just

had a fucking blast. That's real nice.
It was great. What gifts do you get at the old International Bowl? I had a duffel bag that was leather that I had for forever.
I still might have it.

It was a great leather duffel bag. Had a nice little maple leaf on the front of it.
Ooh, I do remember seeing that one.

That was what a good one. It was a good duffel.
It was a good duffel. Let's get back into what we're here for.
And that's the podcast. I'm Travis Kelsey.

This is my big brother, Jason Kelsey, out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, like we already said. And this is

my brother being a militia member. That's right.
Jason got up to New England this past Monday. Yeah, they taught me how to fire a musket.

I don't think I actually got anything to come out of the muzzle. Like the pan definitely caught, which is where you put the gunpowder in.
Yeah.

And that clicked but i didn't see anything come out the end and the whole time michelle was talking about how much recoil these guns had and i like fired it and i felt zero recoil i'm like this thing didn't i don't think it fired everybody's like no it fired it fired i'm pretty sure it didn't fire this is hilarious i was so excited i mean i still wasn't you're a little fucking stiff jesus i was trying to be military militaristic in my stance is that a real word yeah yours didn't fire yeah but if you look where the pan is on my face like that's where the gunpowder is that it catches the flint So that ignited, but whatever was in the barrel didn't ignite.

So I don't know what went wrong. I think this is probably pretty common with these older weapons.
I think they misfired quite a bit. Would hate to have that happen when you're in the line of fire.

No doubt. No doubt.
Fucking one of those daggone red coats across from you, and then you're trying to fucking put one right between his eyes. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Trav, we need to go road bowling. Road bowling.
So road bowling is a sport in Ireland. It's old as shit.
Where they take what used to be a cannonball.

Now it's a 28-ounce piece of iron ball and you roll it down the road. And the goal is to go past a line in the road in as few attempts and throws as possible.
So kind of like golf. I'm following.

I'm following. And there's a lot of Irish guys that yell things that you don't really fully understand, but it's electric as fuck.
And part of the game is betting.

Like that's, you don't play the game unless there's a stake put up. So everybody bets on the two teams that are bowling.

Then you go out there and you just throw a fucking piece of metal down the road and then it'll get lost in the leaves and they bring out the magnets and they try and find it with the magnets.

Hilarious. Dude, it was fucking a blast.
It was so you an overhand thrower, underhanded thrower, side armor. Everybody throws underhand.

It's probably too hard to throw overhand and do a little bit of a bag. But

you just don't get the same spin. You want the spin top spin.
You don't want a back spin. I think if you saw the heaviness of this thing, you would understand why.
Here we go.

That was a really shitty throw. I was going to say that looked that looked like

this dude right here, Sean. He was my partner.
Fucking awesome, dude. Some of these guys, like, styles for throwing.
Dude, watch this guy, Darren. Watch this.

Dude, they get into it, man. Fucking full extension.
The crow hop into the skip. Bro,

I got to get my form way better. It was not impressive.
That in the least. Was he even a fucking half you, Jason? Dude, it was wet.
It was slick. These guys are impressive.

You got to play off the ground. That was a better role.
You got your right hip through. That's a big part of it.
I won one of them and lost another one.

You won of them? See. I think they kind of rigged the second one.
They put a guy up against me. I was like, okay, this guy's.

He might have went to the bar before we came out.

He's seeing a fork in the road. It's like, I don't know which way to throw this thing.
We went to.

My guy Connie was down there. Every time you would throw it and it was a good.
I didn't know. The only way I knew whether it was good or bad was just with how much noise Connie was making.

Every time it was a good throw, I'd be like, there you go, Larry. Irish.

Like, this is fucking hilarious. It was electric, bro.
I think that was half the reason the sport was fun. I don't even know if I want to go without Connie at this point.

Yeah, no, it sounds like you need the environment. And then we went to this amazing pub, the Irish, it was the Red Rose Irish pub.

where, I mean, dude, I was getting so many flashbacks to Irish pubs going into growing up. You could tell this is just like a community staple.
Great vibe. People are singing in the middle of the bar.

And then I got to teach this kid some D-line moves. Check this out.

He has no idea what just happened. The push-pull is a shocking move.
He still didn't really have it down. Because you did it right.

When you do it right, the push-pull is like, what the fuck just happened?

And that's what you just did to that kid. That kid just happened.
He was like, holy shit. Ninja just put his hands on me.
Oh, I'm going to send another one. Check out this guy singing.

When the dawn is breaking,

my heart is breaking too.

On this dark morn, as I walk out, my thoughts will be of you.

So gracious,

hold me in your arms and let this moment linger.

They'll take me out to dawn, and I will die

with all my love. I'll place this wedding ring upon your finger.
Now that's a bar. God damn, that was fun.
It was a blast. Well done, Boston.

I was going back and forth on whether I was going to sing a song. The only Irish song that I really know is one that I sing to the girls.
It's from Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Tell me it.

You want to hear it? Yeah. God damn.

As I was a walking down by the lock. Going into a character here.
as I was a walking one morning of late

who should I spy but my own dear comrade

wrapped up in flannel so hard is his fate

I boldly stepped up to

and kindly did ask him

Why are you wrapped in Lanuso White?

My body is injured and sadly disordered

all by a young woman, my own heart's delight

Oh, had she but told me when she disordered me,

had she but told me of it at the time,

I might have got salts or pills of white mercury

Now I'm cut down in the height of my prime

Get six pretty maidens

to carry my coffin

Six pretty maidens to bear up my paw

and give to each of them bunches of roses

so they may not smell me

when they go

along.

And then I say, good night, Wyatt. And then I went.

That left me speechless, Jason. When the fuck did you ever learn that? I like singing to the girls at bedtime.
I'm a big fan of telling stories. Here's the thing.

There are so many fucking kids' books. And I'm going to be honest.
Tell me it. Tell me your honest opinion of them.
Here's the honest opinion.

Every rundown schmuck with a fucking typewriter can make a children's book these days. And I don't think that everybody should be having children's books.

I'm into the Dr. Seuss's, the freaking Three Little Pigs.
I like the stories that have survived a long time. And there's a reason for these iterations existing.

I don't need to know about the fucking pink cupcakes. I don't need to fucking,

you know,

give me the caterpillar book. I like the caterpillar book when I was growing up.

What is it, Carl or whatever? I'm out on a lot of the newer children's books. What you're doing when you're reading kids' books is your brain, you're hardwiring the software upstairs, right? Okay.

So when you're telling the boy who cried wolf, you're trying to correlate, hey, lying makes people not trust you, and eventually that's a bad thing to do.

And here's a story that correlates why you shouldn't do that. And it ends up really bad for him.
He gets all of the sheep eaten. because he couldn't fucking, you know, tell the truth.

Yeah. Yeah.
Right? Get anyone to believe him. Yeah.
So a lot of times I just end up telling those stories or I make stories up that are off of those old stories. Oh, the man.

If we had a recorder for those ones, man, fuck. Dude, one night, because they'll tell me, sometimes they'll tell me, sometimes the girls will tell me they want

one of their stuffed animals in the story

or like they want to be in the story themselves. Yeah.
And I'm like, all right, I'm about to do Pinocchio. And Ellie's like, oh, put,

I forget what stuffed animal it was.

Put Slothy in the video or put Slothy in the story. I was like, okay, one night, Ellie wished upon a star

and slothy

came to life and her eyes went just

and she didn't move and she was just holding the stuffed animal.

And I got through the

I had like a Jiminy the cricket figurine. I had a whole conscience thing going on and everything.
The only thing after the story, Ellie was just so terrified that she was holding.

This is so good.

Kylie was furious. She's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? She said, put her in the story.
So anyways, while I do that, I also, if I hear a tune or a song that I like,

I like to sing it. You remember it.

Yeah. Nice.
Well, you're a great dad for that. That's awesome stuff.
Should we start the podcast yet? I'm just going to leave it like this. I'm not cutting a goddamn word out.
It's going to be

we're going free form this week, folks. Is that structured? Not really.

Subscribe on YouTube, Wondering Plus, wherever you get your podcasts, and follow the show on all social media at New Heights Show with 1s for fun clips throughout the week.

Jason, why don't you tell everybody what we actually have coming up on the show?

All righty, we've been talking for over an hour and a half already, but coming up on this episode, 92%ers, you're going to hear a little recap from Thanksgiving week in the NFL.

Talk about the Fat Guy Fight Club that we started at the Lincoln.

Oh, shit. We've also got George Clooney on the show today.

How about that? George Clooney? Gonna be three bearcats on this podcast later.

Oh, little do they know. We claim him.
We claim him.

I don't care if it's for a week and he dropped out. I don't even care if he just got accepted, but he never took a class.
He's a bearcat.

All right, before we get into that, let's start with what we always start with, and that's a little bit of that new news. New news.

New news is brought to you by Xfinity. Ooh, nice.
Xfinity is bringing us new news. And the first part of new news, we got a belly bucking champion.
That's right.

We had our first belly bucking tournament at the Link this past Black Friday game in the New Heights Tailgate. And no shirt, Dom came out victorious.
He almost lost.

We were kind of making up the rules as a win. It was a tight ring.
Initially, it was like if you just stepped outside the ring, there got to be belly bucking rules somewhere online.

So the ring was tight. And

initially, it was like if you take one step out, we're going to end the match. Yeah.
But it was, people were taking steps out all the way.

Ultimately, it was like, okay, if you can get two feet out of this thing completely, then the round's over. Man, that's bad for anybody that lost with one foot out.
Nobody lost with one foot out.

That's the thing. It was very apparent from the first one.
It's like, okay, we can't do that. It became apparent who won each time.
And no shirt, Dom. He had a nice sidestep.

At one point, it looked like he was going to lose. And he kind of like readjusted and kind of got his belly back into it.
That a boy. I mean, go figure.

You know, a guy that is committed to not wearing a shirt wins the belly bucking competition. He's very belly-positive individual.
We also had Jeffrey Lurie stopping by. Oh,

yeah. Andrew Whitworth stopping by.

Not true. Guy once had a belly, no belly anymore.
That's true. Well, yeah.
He's still barrel chested like a motherfucker, though.

He's still got that chest on him. Yeah.
We signed a copy of somebody's Twilight. That's right, book.
And yeah, we got some 92%ers that asked some no-dumb questions.

I think I would redo the no-dumb questions, Brandon, for our next iteration of tailgating or really just going out with fans. I think we got to bring the no-dumb questions to the fans.

It was hard to get them to think of them on the spot.

I like the idea of like, let's go in there with a pre-determined kind of thing. Put them on the spot.

Put them on the spot where they don't get to think about it. You're about to tell us how many holes a straw has, and I'll tell you why you're a fucking idiot.
Note taking.

But the 92 percenters are great. Wow, you actually have a notepad? Intern Brandon is always good.

Everything I came with a computer. I don't have a notepad.
I want a notepad. Oh, I got a computer.

There you go. He's just right.
Why would I do a notepad when I have this? Jason,

you got a little bit of a belly bucking in there. You want to tell everybody what the...

I'm not going to lie.

I did kind of make the belly bucking competition just so there was something that at one point I knew I would eventually get in there and get in a belly action, a a little belly on belly.

Me and no shirt Dom. So, this is no-shirt Dom right here.
He was our champion. We decided to have a little friendly one.

The only thing that wasn't really a bucket, that was an offensive lineman, you know, duck walk, you know, get the hips in there. I wish it would have been more of the bucket action.

I don't think Dom was ready for it. There wasn't much thrust in there, but it was fun.
I think that helmet was barely cutting off the circulation in my brain.

Yeah. All right.
Well, fun.

What did you think was the

technique of the bucking? What was the best technique you saw? Because in the video that we saw, there was a lot of thrusts. There was a lot of thrusts.

Was it more just like a bulldozer deal or were guys trying to get leverage? Well, that's what I kind of mean.

I feel like when you went, if you would have gone back to then thrust and that person stayed into you, when you went back, you were going to go backwards.

So it felt more like guys were kind of like getting their hips and bellies stuck to each other and then just kind of pushing. You got to buck.
You got to buck. I know.
I'm I'm kind of with you.

See, you gotta, you gotta lay that law. I don't know how to enforce that, though, John.
You gotta lay that law. I don't know how to enforce it.
If you're not thrusting, you're Augustine.

You gotta thrust. Let's see it.
Yeah. Let's see it.
Oh, there's the there's a there's a buck. Hey, my get up in there.

See, this is why you need to grab my man Brendan was trying to get those holsters. You gotta grab those holsters.
You gotta grab those holsters. You gotta put hands in the pocket.
Yep. Yep.

I get why the original video showed a lot of that. Yeah, that's good technique, though, by Dom.
That's good. He's using shoulders.

That's why I like hands behind the back. Well, you can still shoulder with your hands behind your back.
Yeah, but you can't like fucking keep them right here. You can't like roll it.
Yeah.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. It's a good point.
Finally, we're teaming up with Amazon as a part of their holiday giving initiative. That's right.
We're in the holiday season. How about it, man?

It's December.

And we're supporting an organization that is incredibly close to our hearts. That's right.

Operation Breakthrough in Kansas City has been an organization that I've been a huge fan of and huge supporter of since I've been in Kansas City. That's right.

Amazon is working with an incredible organization across the country to support local communities by providing essential items, books, toys, and gifts to families who need them during the holidays.

And we're honored to be highlighting Operation Breakthrough because of all the work they do every single day in the Kansas City area.

For those of you that don't know what Operation Breakthrough is, Operation Breakthrough is kind of like a school teaching these kids all of these trades and skills and things that they can be ready to go into the workforce for straight out of high school.

Some of them even are entering it while they're in high school. It also supports their families.
Like there's food, there's

and that's where it originally started. It was originally started for the families and the kids that needed it around the Kansas City community.

And they help with meals that go home to these families. Not only is it like an actual school, but it has after-school care for the kids.

And during this after-school care, they get opportunities to learn and these extracurricular activities that they get to kind of latch on to.

And that's where I've been able to help support it with the foundation that I have on help giving them those skills, like STEM lab skills, science, technology, engineering, math, all these different avenues that they can go down and really experience and latch onto and see if they love them.

And that's what the beauty of this organization is: it's giving these kids something that they wouldn't have otherwise. And it's awesome to have Amazon team up with them as well as New Heights.

Yeah, I mean, Trav, you've been involved with Operation Breakthrough for a long time in Kansas City. I recently just got involved last year.

I mean, I've been to the car show before, Kelsey Car Jam, which Operation Breakthrough is a part of that as well.

But recently, they're converting an old pickup truck to electric. The students and the faculty there at Mind Drive and at Operation Breakthrough.
Oh, yeah.

Converting an entire vehicle to electric diesel hybrids. I was going to say it's a hybrid.
Yeah. Who's going to see if you even do this? So actually, it's going to get more miles to

the gallon per se because or the battery because it's going to be able to fuel the battery to recharge itself in a sense and you'll get longer mileage which is fucking it's a lot of

going on in my mind but these kids and and the the the the adults that are helping and and shout out guiding yeah shout out to oz and really everyone over at operation breakthrough but they're doing so much fun stuff over there and it's really uh it's really neat that um that they're doing these extracurricular stuff but we were just talking about how they help out the families.

This holiday season alone, Operation Breakthrough is going to help support over 3,400 local families that could

use some help with the food and just overall support. It really is a fantastic organization.

So really happy that we can potentially help in any way possible for anybody in the Kansas City area or anybody trying to do something similar or looking to support these families.

Check out Operation Breakthrough. And if you'd like to join us, Amazon has made it easy.
Go to amazon.com/slash holidaygiving.

You'll find a curated list of items that Operation Breakthrough and other charities need. Every single item you purchase ships directly to that charity.

Again, that's visit amazon.com/slash holidaygiving to learn more and make your contribution. Thank you for being a part of this with us.

All right, now that wraps up new news brought to you by Xfinity.

All right, let's get some bold topics to wrap up week 13. Dude, it's week 13 already.
Man, there's only NFL season

flying by. Week 13 in the NFL.
Trav, let's start with

the one game that everybody was tuned into this Thanksgiving. I think it set probably like it had to set records of viewership numbers, right? I don't, yeah,

every holiday game seems to break every past record. Good point.
Well,

Chiefs, 28, Cowboys, 31. It was a great game.
It was a fun game to watch. I know it did not turn out in the Chiefs' favor.
That was a tough loss. What are your thoughts?

What are your thoughts about the the game? You know,

I'm sure everyone's sick of us saying it, but we're a few plays away from being a, you know, a one seed at my mind. And maybe that's a bit extreme.
Maybe it's, you know.

I mean, all of the losses are, all the losses are within one score. All the losses are within one score, and there's a handful of plays within those games that are determining the outcome.

And it's hard. And it's, you know, it's plays like my drop against the Eagles.
It's It's penalties that are keeping us behind the sticks.

It's coming away with three points instead of touchdowns in some games.

It's crazy that you watch the film and you see what's real.

And what's real is that we're fucking this close, man. We're this fucking close.
You look at our offense and you look at Pat Mahomes' production this year,

top in the league. You look at our defense in terms of points allowed.

I know some of the other stats aren't all the way up there, but at the same time, time, man,

we're holding teams at the right moments.

And, you know,

and in other situations, we're just not scoring enough. And

it's tough, man. It's tough to be a part of this reality right now because we're six and six and we're fighting for our lives to find a way into the playoffs.

And what's real is that we still have a chance, baby. And that's all that fucking matters to me is that we got a chance.
And I'm going to keep coming into work with the mentality

and the sense of urgency that we need to have to get this shit fixed and turn those handful of plays that are losing us the game into a handful of plays that win us these games, man.

Yeah, I mean, listen, I think you're saying what everybody else is saying. It's the truth.
I mean, you guys have been in all of these games, and I think you're having like one of the most unlucky

seasons in recent memory. I know that we never like to say

lucky, whatever. Yeah, we like to control of it.
Somebody, I think Gordo with ESPN, shout out to Gordo. I think he said something like,

you guys are plus 70 or something like that in your score differential over the season. You're the first team to not have a winning record with that plus differential.

And there's only like one other team in the history of the NFL.

It's nuts. I don't know what it is.

I'd rather like get the actual number, but it's something outrageous. Like you guys are actually performing really well on both sides of the ball.

It's just like these crucial mistakes and end-of-game scenarios, which you guys have been so good at for so long, just have not fallen your way this year. Like last year, they all fell your way.

This year, they just haven't. And it's been a weird year in the NFL in general, like, especially the AFC.
Like, who is like the top of the AFC right now is Denver and the Patriots?

I don't know that anybody has shown a

ridiculously

better

version of football than any of the other teams in the AFC. Like, everybody's had their up games.
Everybody's had their down games. Who is the complete team? I don't really see one.

And it seems like it's up for grabs. And when it's like that, if you're an AFC team, all you want to do is get into that dance.
Because at the end of the day, if you get in, you got a chance.

And I know it hasn't gone your guys' way yet. You're not happy with where you're at, but it all still is in front of you.

Like, I mean, this Andy Reid quote is pretty incredible, but Andy Reid was asked earlier this week about you guys, you know,

having to win out. Do you need to win every single game? I forget what the exact question was.
And Andy Reid came back with this banger on the confidence this team could win the final five games.

He said, we're going to try to tickle your tonsils on every play, every game. That's the attitude that we're coming in with.
And then you let the chips fall where they may.

And I think that's the attitude you got to come in with. And I just love the tickling of the tonsils, obviously.
That's a nice alliteration there.

Nice.

Have you heard Andy say tickling tonsils before? Never heard him say that one. Nope.
That's a new one.

He's got a bunch of bangers in his pocket, though, man. He's got so many, and he's been doing this for so long, man.
He knows which ones really

get the people going to pull out. Exactly.

And

that's the fun in which you get playing for him. I've never heard Andy rip it like that.
I loved it. I'm fired up.
Well, the thing is, Andy didn't mean it like that.

Andy was just trying to say shove the ball down the throat, which he will say. And he'll come up with a little funny mannerisms, but the double entangle there is.
Don't talk nasty to me, coach.

Come on, let's go.

This is what I, this is now, this is my kind of football, bro. Let's go.
This is how the coaches talked in high school. I'd have signed up.
Yeah, yeah.

Didn't know y'all were doing that out there.

There are some very sexual. We all just drinking from the hose.
What are we doing?

What are other sexual, like, uh, all-of-the-metaphors that coaches have used in the past? You take these big-ass dick beaters you got, and you put them into that chip in the chest.

That's one of my favorite dick beaters. Is a great all-timer.

You ever heard that one? Such a long way to just say hands. Yes.

Hey, but sometimes you come up with a little bit. Style would always call it like a hook.
Like, you need something that, like, you can't just say something.

You need to say something that registers something in your head. If you say, like, hey, put your hands in his chest, it's like, I don't need that's already out in my fucking brain.

You tell me to put my dick beaters inside of his chest. I'm remembering you telling me to put my dick beaters in his chest.
I'm not going to forget that one. Oh, my hands.
How'd you know?

I really only have one dick beater.

Are you guys using both?

Start looking around the room. Timeout.
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, beat beater.
Are you guys going lefty?

No, no, no. Same time.
Same time.

Yeah.

I'm a basket weave guy myself.

This is our greatest episode ever. Oh, man.

So, yeah, anyways, the Texans are red hot right now. The defense is unbelievable.
D'Amico Ryan, shout out to D'Amico, one of my former teammates.

Those dudes are playing on both sides of the ball, but especially on defense. They are very good.

You guys are in a situation where every game counts, even more so at this point, because of the record and what it is. Texas four-game win streak coming into this one.

The last time you played Houston was in 225 in the divisional round. It's going to be about 20 degrees of kickoff.
It's my kind of football, baby. Dude, I love when the cold weather sets on.

It's my kind of football, especially after a weekend of rest. Yeah.

Go out there, fly around on the ice, man. Fuck, man.
Take me back, baby. Fly around on the ice.
That's what it feels. It feels like we're in the ice rink, man.

That's why I love those games more there's something about being in the cold and sweating that i feel my most athletic self i don't know why that feels like it's like my like sanctuary but i always just feel like i did get tired too when it was cold like i just could run for days yeah no i well that's because you weren't running that much

You can still get very tired running in the cold.

It hits those lungs a little different too, but it's,

yeah, no, I'm with you, though. There's something about the cold that I just, it just

gets my excitement man for the uh for the game it's the beauty of football man you get to play it in all elements and uh especially in arrowhead for sure man yeah even being up in new england this past yesterday monday night game oh yeah i just love the cold man i like seeing my brain it just feels like football yeah the cold and your like peaky blinders outfit man that shit was sweet it just meshed perfectly give a guy a musket that doesn't work though yeah right all right well let's get out of here um we'll see you guys up at arrowhead and hopefully we come away with a a win must-need win uh against a really good football team and uh let's go baby the fighting d'amico ryans man all righty thanks to our presenting sponsor that's right oh

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Moving on to some Eagles Bears on Black Friday.

That was a tough one as well for all of us 92%ers, assuming everyone is cheering for our teams.

Eagles 15, Bears 24. The Bears are rocking and rolling, man.
They are. The Bears are rocking and rolling, man.
Ben Johnson's got those guys fighting and playing good football.

Taking the shirt off in the locker room. How about it, man? The guys are going fucking nuts.
Golly, man. Those guys are fighting for that.
That's how you know

when you get a coach that comes in that just he's relatable to all the guys, gets the guys to fight for, man.

It's a hard thing to fucking do and there's a special like madness to it that you have to be great at and some guys got it um and right now he does man listen and we've had it in philadelphia nick siriani has had that like oh yeah that's what's frustrating like i think right now the eagles are trying to figure this thing out they're trying to get this offense going and it's you know playing the bears who really they're clicking on all cylinders right now They're playing so well.

Their offensive line was rolling. Their running backs are running hard.
And you can feel that energy and excitement the team has. And the Eagles, I mean, eight and four, right?

We've had a great season, and I know that it hasn't lived up to the potential, especially on the offensive side of the ball. The defense has been great for the majority of the season.

But you can tell, man, they want to get this thing figured out, and everybody's frustrated.

And, you know, the good thing is we've put ourselves in a situation where being an eight and four,

like all we got to do is just keep fucking working, man. Keep grinding it out.
Keep asking ourselves how we can improve it. Coaches, players, everybody.
I still think they got the pieces there.

I still think they got the offensive weapons.

The offensive line is starting to get some continuity in playing together. They're going to be helping.
That's a big, man. Yeah.
That's tough.

Lane Johnson coming back will be huge, even though Fred has done well, especially in pass pro. I think the run game is close.
I really do.

I know it hasn't manifested yet, and it's frustrating watching because you know it can be so much better. I think it's getting closer.

I think that with the health that is starting to come, it'll only improve. And that's what makes the run game so hard, man.
And when it's clicking and everybody is on the same page,

and you got these guys, look out. But right now, it's, you know, it's this guy here.
It's that guy here. It's,

you know, this guy doesn't come off of the linebacker. And that is a difference in a huge run.
The safety rolls down and is unhatted. And that kind of ruins this one.

They're bringing Nicole Edge that stalls out a couple of runs. And then all of a sudden they run into it and they get a big one.

And, you know, it's just been frustrating, especially as a guy who knows how much time those guys put into it up front.

How great Saquon Barkley is, how great Jeff Statlin is.

It's been frustrating to watch, to be honest with you. But I do think it's getting closer.

And I think once that thing gets going, if there's a positive to take away, AJ Brown's starting to get the ball and the receiver. The passing game feels like it's getting better.

And you're seeing the routes now move around more than they were earlier in the year. Like that was a big complaint everybody talked about.

The route trees and all this stuff that I don't, quite frankly, look as much into a lot of the times.

But it's very apparent that they're making a concerted effort to get players moving in different areas and not being as stagnant

in the area in which these guys are running routes, I guess, if that makes sense. No, it 100% does.
And it makes life on being a receiver so much easier.

That's the one thing when you watch the Chiefs play, you see me moving around all the time. I'm moving from one side of the line to the other side of the line.

And it's like, what that does is for the defense is it changes passing strength. It changes rules on how they're going to pass off routes.
It changes rules on how they have to fill gaps.

So get the defense thinking fast. And all of a sudden, you're snapping the ball while they're still trying to figure out how they need to adjust.

And, you know, if you use that to your advantage, that shit's only going to make things way easier as a route runner and as an offense.

That was one thing that really stood out with the Bears, I will say. I mean, Ben Johnson and how he utilizes the motions and guys moving around.
He's just so good at it.

Yeah, and they got a lot of good tight ends over there, man.

And a good run game. And that's where, like,

the defense obviously gave up a lot of yards on the ground.

The Bears' offensive line played well.

Like, I don't want to discredit them, but watching the tape back, like, there was a lot of just like, you know, we just need to fit this a little bit better, right? Like, we got to handle this motion.

If we're in the right spot here, if we squeeze down, don't play the boot boot as much here like it was a lot of that stuff where it felt like this defense is better than the way they played and what the stats looked like at the end of the day so i felt good after watching the tape he's got to improve in some of those areas but i was impressed i mean like for instance like they they motioned a uh like double wing right into the boundary right so tight end receiver into the boundary

they did like a jet motion with the receiver we rock and roll right so reed's down to the tight end on the motion the safeties decide to rock and roll meaning Reed goes back to the middle of the field and the other safety goes down to the three-by side now.

And the corner's got to come in now of a sudden. Now he's fitting the C-gap and they got a big hit on that one.

It was just a lot of stuff like that, where it was like, they do a great job of manipulating the gaps, manipulating the tight end movement,

doing the boots, and like really trying to mess around with guys' rules and responsibilities in the run game, especially. All in all, again, similar to the AFC,

you think about every team has shown weakness at this point, right? Every team has had their games, ups, and downs.

And I just think at the end of the day, the Eagles have great coaches and they have great players. And eventually, they're going to be peaking at the right time.
I got faith in that.

And you look at the top eight teams last year, Lions, Commanders, Eagles, and Rams.

Chiefs, Texans, Bills, and Raves. Think about all of these teams that we thought were going to be the best teams coming into it.
And like all of them have shown signs of being really good.

And then other weeks have had big letdowns. The two best teams in the league right now, consistently, have been the Broncos and the Patriots, right? Yeah.

The Rams, who I thought were the most consistent team in football, all of a sudden they lose to the, they drop one to Charlotte. So

Carolina? Yeah.

Same team.

Carolina is another sneaky one, man.

They can put together a game. It just feels like more than ever, the NFL is wide open.
Listen, we're 8-4. We got time to figure this thing out.
It's It's just going to take some

concerted effort from everybody. And I know these guys are going to be hard at work to get this done.
I can't wait to see Saquon Barkley running again, man. That's all I want.

I know everybody wants to see the passing game.

I want to see Saquon Barkley running through the fucking line, untouched, all the way to the end zone. That's what I want to see.
Using those Saquads to just fucking... Come on.

If they get that going with the way they're playing defense, they will be a very tough team to beat by anybody. That's all I know.
I hear you, man.

While we're on that topic, do you want to just jump ahead to that like NFC standings that I put in there later?

If you look at the top seven teams in the NFC and just look at the fact that the one seed has nine wins, the seven seed has nine wins.

I think if Chicago loses next week to the Packers, they drop from one to seven. Like, that's how fucking insane this season is.
It really is. Where's that at? It was just a little later.

Scroll on down. Can we just use what you just said? You can.
I don't like to

do it too much on here. I think it's fun when you jump in.
I think it's fun when you jump in.

You like the stash? I do. You like the stash? You want to do it?

It's very Bertie. It's either Burt Reynolds or Mario.

Super Mario. Yeah.

Okay, I'll take Burt Reynolds, I think, of the two.

What is this Snapchat DM? Do you want to read those? Eagles fans have actually kind of funny. That's what I'm saying.
Eagles fans are breaking up over the Eagles. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, read that.

Go ahead. All right.
So apparently Eagles fans are breaking up over the Eagles. Yeah.
Had a little Snapchat DM here from a couple individuals.

Derek says, okay, so I know this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I was noticing since we started talking daily and went on our date, the Eagles have been shitting to bed.

I don't want to hate you to hate me or block me, but I think maybe we just need to not talk until the season is over. I love the superstitiousness here.
So the season's over?

I like you a lot, so don't take this as a dismal

dismissal. Just need to turn our luck around for the birds, and I think you'd understand that too.
And then, of course,

yeah, I mean, she replied. Lol, I mean, sure, for the birds.
Way to go, Eagles fans. That's how you freaking date responsibly.
Did Kylie watch all the Eagles game this time?

We were at the Eagles game, and we were watching. Yes.
She's going to have to start turning her back.

Kai. You're right.
You're right. You got it.
I'm going to be on the bus. You got to buy in, Kai.
You got to buy in. We need everything we can.
Everybody needs everything they can.

The table's wide open. Yeah.
Well, I'll say we get out of these two games and get to the rest of the league. Stuart.
We got a big week for shit talking. That's right.

A lot of shit talking going around the league. That is the nature of the NFL.

Some of the best parts of the NFL, if you ask me. Titans Jags, though, had some, it got a little

personal over there, man. Jeffrey Simmons claims that Jaguars rookie running back, LaQuint Allen Jr.
told him to suck his dick in the middle of the game.

No.

Man, Jeffrey. That seems pretty standard trash talk to me.
Like, I feel like I've heard that a bunch.

just saying, like, I don't know, for sure. Suck my dick, motherfucker.
Like, I feel like I hear that every game. I don't think that's what we're all of a sudden upset about.
Yeah.

Jeffrey Simmons is a guy that gets very upset in games. He's an angry football player, which I like angry football players.
Yeah.

I'm pretty sure at one point, I was at the bottom of a pile and he was grinding his knee into my ankle. Yeah.

He looked over. I was like, what the fuck? He was like, what? I was like, suck my dick.

I'm kidding. I don't talk like that on the football field.
I'm a fine gentleman. I'm a very nice man.
Yeah.

Tennessee player also claims that Jacksonville punter Logan Cook

threatened to kill him.

Which

Tennessee player snitching? What are we doing, guys? All the Jags players, man. You guys are fucking doing it right.
You guys are in the head. You're in the head of the opponent across the game.

Keep doing it, Jacksonville. Take it up a notch.
Take it up a notch. Tell him how you'd kill him.
If it gets him out of his game,

because you're not being serious, you're not going to actually kill him. That's the thing.

Sometimes the punters look creepy enough and like scrawny and like weird enough to where it's like, damn, he probably would fucking do some weird ass shit. No way.

I've never thought that about a punter. No

Logan, a punter saying they're going to kill him, like I would do nothing to me.

I will fucking break your neck right now. You realize I can kill you with my bare hands.
I don't even need a weapon.

McAfee's gonna fucking beat your ass.

I would not want to fight McAfee. McAfee's a squirrely son of a bitch.
You're right. McAfee would be one guy.
Who else wouldn't I want to fight?

Sebastian Janakowski. Janikowski.

You don't want to fight him because you just want to have a few beers with him. Yeah, but he's going to headbutt me or something.

He's going to come out of something, a left field with something I'm not ready for. He's going to Steven Seagal fucking.

Imagine if that hit your neck, what that would do to you.

Listen, I think that there's a very clear, as long as nothing being said is either racist in nature or attacking somebody's family that's not playing the game, I feel like it's all fair game.

It's all fair game, yeah. If somebody says I'm gonna fucking kill you, like if I'll fuck kill you, like I don't know what it's like, I don't know what the fuck kill you first.

I've never heard somebody say I'll fucking kill you and be like, this guy just threatened my life. I'm gonna report him to HR.
I don't know what's

like, what are we talking about?

Yeah. Did you just hear him?

He's threatening my life.

He told me to put it in. I don't know what's happening right now.
He told me to put his dick in my mouth. He said, get this.
He told me

to S his D.

I think that should be a 15-yard penalty, sir.

To S is D. I just,

I don't know. Maybe, maybe

in my two years removed from the NFL, talking shit to people is all of a sudden off limits. But I feel like both of those things happened a litany of times.

And most of the time, no one is literally saying to suck their dick.

Like, I don't know what's happening. I will tickle your tonsils.

Suck my dick. Yeah.
You'd like to tickle my tonsils, wouldn't you?

Maybe the biggest non-NFL football news

taking it to the college ranks. Old Miss Lane Kiffen finally took the head coaching job at LSU after weeks and literally just like one or like a couple days of speculation.

Leaves old miss as the team preps to potentially host a college football playoff game, which is

this is tough, man. It's tough on old miss.
It's tough on the players because

Lane Kiffen's going to want to take everyone from his staff that has made him, you know,

the head coach that he is today, that has helped ingrain in the kids at Ole Miss that, you know, this is the style of football that we need to be playing. And I get it if you're Lane Kiffen.

I mean, there needs to be some sort of rule by the NCAA that you can't start looking for new job opportunities until after the season because

Ole Miss is going to go into college football with someone's dad as a fucking like

helper. You know what I mean? Like, you don't just have extra coaches on the practice squad.
You know what I mean?

Like, you have GAs and you have guys that aren't going to get invited with Lane to Old Miss, and you're just going to have to gather up

people from around the university or however you need to do it. We were at the fucking Sugar Bowl with like guys, dads helping with personnel on the sidelines.
I don't remember that. Really?

Dude, what? Who else did we have? We had fucking like GAs like helping. No, we had everybody.

We had everybody other than BK stay for the game. Right? There might have been one other person that went with BK.
Oh, you know what? I'm thinking of when Butch left. Yeah.

When Coach Jones, yeah. When Coach Jones left, we had literally guys.
Well, that wasn't the Sugar Bowl. That was the old Belt Powell.
And we found a way to fight her out there.

But we had like fucking GAs being, you know, the main, the lead coaches and whatnot. It's just, it's a cluster fuck.

And it's definitely putting the team and the players at a disadvantage when you don't have, you know, your head coach or like your offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator, things like that. Yeah.

I mean, it sucks. We've been through it, obviously, with Brian Kelly and Butch Jones.
Well, you went through it with Butch.

I went through with Brian and Mark D'Antonio, where we played bowl games with interim coaches because those guys took other jobs. And I mean, listen, it's the way it's been forever.
I mean, it's very,

part of me's mad that it takes old miss happening to for all of a sudden everybody to realize how fucked it up it is.

Like, nobody gave a fuck when Brian, like, oh, yeah, of course Brian Kelly went to Notre Dame. He left Cincinnati.
Like, of course that happened.

All of a sudden, Lank Given does it to Ole Miss, and they're like, oh, this is an outrage. How could he do this to his play?

It's like, this fucking happened to me twice and nobody gave a fuck about it.

And I couldn't transfer. At least these guys can fucking leave.
I was just stuck there twiddling my thumbs. Like, I hope they hire a good fucking guy.

That's so

take your sob story and shove it up your asshole miss i got no pity for you guys but i just this is the way it works i do think that there should be rules in ncaa that prevent coaches from leaving before the bowl games have been played out or before the playoffs have happened but it's not going to happen because the national signing day is so close all of these schools are in the heat of recruiting right now like that's the reality of it like that's why lsu wants lane giffen there right that's why all these guys need him to go before the bowl game is because they need to have good players on the team and they want to be able to sell the program.

And I mean, it just sucks. You wish there was a way that he could accept the job, but also still coach the game.
You know, I think it sucks for old miss. I'm kind of, I'm lying.

I do feel bad for old miss because I went through it myself with Brian Kelly in Notre Dame. It just sucks.
And it's not fun. You know, and you work so hard as a team and as a group of men and kids

to get to that point.

And, you know,

it's a deflating moment for what should be a joyous time for everyone in that building. Yeah, and at the university, man, yeah.

And, you know, we were undefeated our best year that we've ever had at Cincinnati to that date. We were,

I think it was two seconds or three seconds away from going to the Nazarene. No close shift.
Yeah, if Nebraska would have found out

a way to beat Texas. And Dominican Sue, if you would have got to the quarterback one more time, we might have been.
It came down to a rollout.

We call it a heave-ho in our building, but it's a play where you try and roll out and you try and exhaust the last seconds of the game by throwing it as high and as far out of bounds as possible.

Yeah. And Texas did that at the end of a game, but they were one second away from

giving the ball back. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it was, we, I think we ended up the four seeds. I don't know that we would have made it anyway.

But either way, we were the fourth-ranked team in the country, and we got our dicks absolutely shoved in by the Florida Gators and Tim Tebow's last game i was so upset that that they didn't keep that in the florida documentary

i didn't see that didn't see the florida doc i didn't watch it though it's about urban meyer and those those couple years those handful of years that the that he was there at the florida gators and and when tbow came in and some dogs just how amazing that those teams were and how they fought and the ups and downs that they went through and it was cool but then they ended it with the regular season ending at the sec and it's like that's not how their season ended.

Their season ended by Tim Tebow throwing for seven touchdowns of 500 yards against the Cincinnati Bearcats in the Sugar Bowl. We got absolutely fucking killed.

And to be honest, it sucked not having Brian Kelly, but I can tell you very confidently, it would not have mattered if Brian Kelly was catching that game.

We were so much less talented than that. I ran a little Wildcat in there,

got my two plays in there. We did.
Thank you.

I didn't get into it. I made Carlos Dunlop's highlight reel on draft day because they didn't sack.

What the fuck were you doing blocking Dunlop? Every time he would line up as a three technique, when I was studying tape that week, he kept running a U-stunt or TE.

He would pick the tackle and the end would loop around. So I'm getting ready to punch the shit out of him to try and put him out on Jeff Linkenbach.

And right when I go to punch, he hit me on an inside spin move so fast. I was like, oh, they aren't doing this in the big East.

So yeah, that wasn't good. Tony, Tony got crushed on that play.
Sorry, Tony Pike. Shout out to Lowe.
Yeah. Anyways,

yeah, it sucks. It's the way it has been for a long time in football.

It is kind of funny to me that like now that like a bigger program, it's happening to them.

I'm supposed to care more than when it happened to me and you two and three times and happens to little small universities all the fucking time. Yeah.

Old Miss fans had his clothes in the parking lot by the end of the day. It was hilarious, dude.
The fucking fans outside the private jet, dude.

Oh, man. It was good.
Good. Well, sorry that you're going through it, old miss.
I know what you're going through. It sucks.
Can't wait to see Old Miss versus LSU next year, though, baby. Here we go.

Here we go. They've still got some playoff games going.
Yeah, but at the same time, it's like... That's all you want to see? I want to see.
Yeah, I want to see Lane Kiffen have to go back.

What if they play better? What if they played better?

Is there an interim coach? Is he for sure going with Lane Kiffen?

I think their season just ended. Well, no, they're going to the playoffs, aren't they? Isn't that why this is a big deal? Yeah, they are.
You're right.

We have no idea. Maybe Pete Golding does really well, and they offer him a bunch of money.
Their special teams long snapper

father is actually going to be doing details of signals for them in the playoffs. It'll be great.

I mean,

I think SEC has a little more

resources than we had in Cincinnati to handle

fucking, bring Eli back. Eli, go take charge for a college football playoff.
That's great. Just get somebody in there that fucking represents the program.

All right, let's wrap up football with some of these Stamps of the Week. Stamp of the Week brought to you by Audible.
It's an amazing app. It's an amazing platform to learn, be entertained.

You name it. A lot of good stuff on Audible.
All right. Nice.
Nominees for Stamp of the Week. We got Giants holder Jamie Gillen for making the best out of whatever that was.

I mean, he actually, he's the reason that it happened. Is this the field goal kick? This is the kicker where he kicked the turf.

The snapper was actually, the ball slips when he puts it down and he has to readjust it. And I think it spooked the kicker.

I do think he also just fucked up, though. Even if you see that, why do you do that? I think that lead steps just a little too far out in front of that football.

He's got to, because when you get too far out in the football, now you got to be steep at the ball. Yeah,

I think you got to, yeah, you got to keep, and then you got to bring

that left hip out of there. He kept it a little too far closed in, and now you're really getting down there.
You're not allowing

it to get through the ball. Yeah, you want to keep that lead step right even or a little bit behind us so you can get through the ball.
Get through the ball.

Either way, I'm not giving Jamie a stamp of the week because it wasn't a great hole.

Puka Nakua for this insane catch. Let's check this one out.
This was insane indeed.

Oh,

little OBJ action.

Puka. Reverse backhanded catch.
Very impressive. Man, if we're going to go catch, I'm going tight end Brock Bowers.
It's a good one. It's a good one.

He gets by Stamp of the Week at least twice a year because of how fucking good he is. But this is an insane catch.

Oh, wow. That's impressive.
Off the fan. Freaking turf.
That boy just loves ball, man.

What a goon, man. Oh, draped all over him.
Snow cones it. Yeah, baby.
Snow cones it. I liked it.
Just

Brandon, stop putting Archie Manning in this fucking Stamp of the Week thing.

No. No, I won't.
Good for you, Archie. Good for you, Arch.
I'm watching you, baby. Hock in.

What? Pantsless Jets fan. Let me see this one.
Oh, we got security presents now.

I wonder why.

That's great.

I would love to give that stamp, but I think you got to draw the line.

No shirts, funny. No pants.
That can go south. That can go south real quick.

All right. I'm going to go with the Ernest Jones picksticks.
I know it's not original. It was a great pick.
It was a fucking wild play. Yes.

Sorry to Max Brosner. Rough first outing.

I mean, it's playing really good defense. It's going to be hard to have a good game against those guys.
Yeah.

This fucking play is. This is insane.
I just can't do it. No.
Can't do it. Can't do it.
Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it.

But it was an electric play. It's an electric play.
Ernest Jones really didn't have to do much, but it's it's an electric play. Other than be ready.
You just got to be ready.

Sometimes that's half the battle, man. You got to be ready.
Be prepared.

Oh, fuck. All righty, that does it for Stampin' of the Week.
Brought to you by Audible. And now, Jason Kelsey with a word from our partner, DraftKings.
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And now it's probably what you've waited this entire episode for. That's right.
We're going to talk.

How sorry did this happen? I don't know how we even got to this point in life, Jason. Yeah.

I don't even know how to talk to people of this stature. Well, because they talk to you.

They're just so much smarter. They don't want to get in the way.

Why is he so good at just like being a cool person? He does it so effortlessly. I know.
You said it best. You said it was like,

if that's what a movie star is,

if that's what a superstar is, I'm fucked. Yeah.

because I don't have that no just sitting there you know he's a superstar he doesn't even need to say anything and then he starts talking and he's like way better at conversing yeah I was like this is what I do for a living you're already like can you not be great at everything George Jesus Christ you guys are gonna see George Clooney

take over this podcast so uh are we on you going

all right I'm gonna I want to start off oh okay

I'm gonna start off not you guys I'm gonna start off Jason, I dig you, man. Oh, wow.
You know,

you're NFC.

You're Hall of Famer. You know,

I can show some love for you. Thank you.
Thank you, George.

Travis, you broke me, man.

I'm a Bengals fan, dude. I grew up in Cincinnati.

You've broken me so many times in your pretty face on GQ. And I have to, you know how many times I've thrown like a hoagie at my TV at your face? You've broken me.

You got, you guys,

you guys had your run. You guys broke me.
You guys broke me. I'll tell you what, the Bengals broke me coming out.
They guys, they took a tight end ahead of me in the draft, and I felt heartbroken.

I was a Cincinnati Bearcat. I was sitting in the backyard.
That's right. You were a Bearcat, man.
Yeah.

You were literally the backyard. I was.

Off of Straight Street, off the back of Cincinnati. I used to live on Straight Street.
How about it, Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had this in the rundown, but why you brought it up?

We have conflicting reports. We always, at least, if you go to the University of Cincinnati, you're told as a student that George Clooney went to UC.
Is that true? Yeah, for a minute. Yeah.

That counts, right?

It counts. I lived on Straight Street

on a hill, you know, where if it snowed and you parked, the cars would all end up at the bottom of the hill. That's exactly what you're talking about.
Hell yeah.

If you lived at the bottom of the hill. I'm sliding down that hill.

If you lived at the bottom of that hill when it it snowed, you ain't making it to fucking practice.

You're calling it up. You went down to the King Quick at the bottom and you just got Doritos and a beer and you just sat there until it snowed.

Oh, yeah. That's all you could do, man.
Over the Rhine, baby. That's some good shit.
Over the Rhine. Remember that area? That was like tricky.
Remember? Oh, yeah. Now it's clean.

No, now it's a lot better. It's a lot better than cleaning that hill.

You're still. Pockets.
Pockets, that's a great way to put it. I was back in Cin City a couple of weeks ago, and it was funny.
I went back

and the owner of the the cincinnati reds came out i was doing i was speaking in front of a couple thousand people owner the cincinnati reds came out and you know i had a couple of tryouts for the reds when i was younger and he came up and read like my scouting report and it was the most humiliating thing

He's got no arm. He's got no speed.
He jacked it.

I'll tell you what, though, he puts a jersey on, man. The guy looks like a ball player.

I I look like I look at a hat, dude. I look good.
I look good.

I believe it. I believe it.
I got to see those things. That's too good.

Was it just like high school tryouts or like...

Yeah, it was, you know,

they had a thing where they were taking people out of high school for, you know,

anybody who was playing well in high school, and they took you out and brought you in and let you try out for...

Yeah, like a little combine or a showcase, yeah. Yeah, it was fun.
But boy,

it was pretty humiliating in front of all those people. That's too funny that he had it in there.
He still had the detailed report, man. That's too funny.
Well, nice. Now we can get it out there.

Were you in the DAP program in Cincinnati for a little bit? No.

None of that. Well,

once a bear cat, always a bear cat of my book.

Dude.

I also, you know, I was a UK kid, too. I loved UK.
So, you know, I had a, we had, you know, I would side with the UK for basketball because, you know, you kind of wanted to have a winner.

Hell yeah. And I'd been a Bengals fan for a long time, and you know, we'd lost an awful lot of games

when I was

there was a lot of losing for a while. We were, I think, the losing is franchise in football, and then we kind of got a little better, you know.

Yeah, back in the day, it was Kenny Anderson was a quarterback, and how about it?

How about it, man?

I'm gonna get this intro going and we'll get this thing officially started. Um, I know

all right, here we go.

Our guest today is a Hollywood legend from Lexington, Kentucky, a four-time Golden Globe winner, a four-time Screen Actors Guild award winner, a Tony award winner, and a two-time Academy Award winner.

You know him from his roles in ER, Siriana, out of sight, oh, brother, where art thou perfect storm from Dustville Dawn, Michael Clayton, Bird After Reed, and Oceans 11, 12, and 13, and there's probably more coming.

He's the star of the upcoming film, Jay Kelly. And unlike myself, he actually won Sexiest Man Alive twice.
Twice. 92%.

Please welcome Mr. George Clooney.

Oh, my gosh, man.

Guys, that is

just a clarification.

I never won a Tony, but you know, I'm glad you said it anyway. We can get it out there, then people will think I won, and that's even more fun.
You did that? Gosh, dang it. Just sign it.
All right.

I appreciate the honesty.

We gave it.

Did we miss any? Yeah,

everyone. Many.
We missed a bunch, I'm sure. Yeah.

It's okay. I'm fine.

We'll be okay.

Hi, guys. How's it going, man? We're doing great.
Thank you so much for taking the time to hop on, George. This is an incredible honor for us.

It is, I still can't believe that we're getting guests of your stature on this thing. That's insane.
This is

stature now. See, I get gray and I have stature.
Well, I mean,

no, you get what's the one. You get the

distinguished.

Dang it. Distinguished, I know.
It's coming from a guy that's turning gray as well. And I'll tell you what, he embraces the grayness.

He can't wait till he goes full white. Damn right.
Damn right. Dude, it's coming.
It happens fast. Okay, perfect.
I'm looking forward to it. I'm full Santa Claus here in a couple of years, man.

It's going to be epic.

Your wife will be so happy. Yeah, she'll be thrilled.
She'll be thrilled. All right, let's talk about Jay Kelly.
How about that? All right, bring it on. Initial thoughts.

First of all, incredible film. Loved every second of it.
And I know you've already,

I'm sure you've been asked this by

anybody else talking to you about this film. Did this film feel extra personal to you being about a blockbuster actor and everything happening behind the scenes?

There had to be some type of personal connection to you in this film. Well, I mean, look,

you know, we're the same height and the same hair.

So good. The guy's kind of, you know, he's kind of a mess.
And I hope at my age that I'm not quite in that much of a

fair enough crisis mode but you know listen I look this is a guy whose kids hate him and you know dad doesn't like him I got so yeah I got eight-year-olds and they still dig me you know perfect that's gonna change as you know

teenage years are coming

how old are your kids dude they're all they're all young i got six four two and a brand new one so we're in the early

brand new one nice it's coming man. And I'm telling you, dude, it's like, even at eight, I've got like my daughter rolling her eyes now, which is a new thing.
Gosh, okay.

Like, I'd say, like, hey, you know, your dad's a big star. And she just rolls her eye.
Yeah.

Sure, dad. Super great.

How do you handle that? Let me ask you that. Are you a, like, like, do you, are you a strict or do you, do you get on? Like, what's your parenting style? I'm, I'm probably, I'm a little strict.

I'm not like, you know, I'm not nutbag about it. My kids are pretty good.
My kids are really well-behaved.

But, you know, I have to say, it's a pretty funny adventure raising kids, you know, because they're, you know, you don't realize, you know, how much they're listening to you.

Like, I was in the car driving to school the other day. And, you know, I like some guy, you know, cut me off.
And I was like, fucking asshole. And I'm driving.

And like about five minutes later in the backseat, I hear fucking asshole for that eight-year-old.

Same.

Same delivery. Oh, my God.

And you know, they're going to say that, and my wife's going to hear it. Yeah.
And then I'm dead. Yes, exactly.

There's no way I could survive it.

So

you're learning as you go.

That's amazing. All right.
Well, to summarize the movie for everybody that needs to go watch this thing.

George Glue plays a famous actor, Jay Kelly, alongside, and this is an awesome moment, his manager, Adam Sandler, the same man. Man, baby.

And you guys go to Europe to kind of, as a sabbatical almost, to kind of re-find out, you know, what are we doing here? And a little midlife crisis kind of moment. I thought it was fantastic.

It's so much fun. You guys, do you guys know Adam at all? Have you ever met him? Well, Trav.
Trav, baby. Yeah, Trav was in Happy Gilmore 2.
I had the pleasure of being on set with the big guy.

Yeah, that's right. You were in the movie.
By the way, he didn't ask me. He didn't mention me in the movie.

That's a missed opportunity, Adam. That's a missed opportunity.

Yeah.

I told him, man, I work cheap.

Not, you know, not like Travis.

So it's out of my

thing for free.

Just let me be on set, man. He's such a good egg.
You know, he's such a fun cat and fun to, fun to, you know, work with. He and I have been playing basketball together for about 30 years.

And, you know, just a chance to get a chance to work with him was what a blast. What a fun thing to be able to do.

Just the best, man. That was such a good dude, man.

I'm still forever thankful that he even sent the ask to allow me to be the waiter.

But honestly, looking back on it, if he would have asked you and you would have been that waiter, God damn, I think the movie might have been 10 times better, man. Fuck.
Dude,

I play a great waiter. You have no idea.
I'm such a good movie.

Seeing you chest bum Xander Shauffley. So wait, now,

is this going to be the thing now? You know, when you retire, I know you're not going to retire. When you retire, is this going to, are you going to go into some show business?

Are you going to act more? Listen, as long as I'm getting asked by guys like Adam Sandler, you know, my heroes growing up, man, I'm going to be there in a heartbeat, man.

I don't know how much skill I have, but I'll be the best teammate on set and have some fun with you

if you hire me. That's for damn sure.
That's exciting, man. That's going to be fun.
By the way, Travis, you were in Lake Como, weren't you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Me and Tay danced around Lake Como for a little while, man. I loved it out there.
that's my uh you know i got a place there out there oh yeah oh yeah

they love they love to point it out whenever you're doing the uh whenever you're on the lake i'm part of the tour

yeah it's a funny thing and now if you look to your left you see a georgia glooney house

i'll tell you what it sits perfectly on that water man it's a beautiful place and a beautiful area everybody gets there so lovely man i was every morning i was throwing my my shoes on running up and down the water and we had gloomy days we had beautiful days and it was just every single day was just a new epic like realization what's really around the world and i had never even imagined that place you know in my dreams had you spent time in italy at all no that was my first time because you know what you'll see is there's a there's a version of life that they live that's pretty interesting you know they they really celebrate dinner you know it's two hours and you're eating with you're eating with a 10-year-old and you're eating with your grandparents and it's a you know they they they do it right there there's so many little spots that are just so fun to go to dinner to, man.

It's like, it's like you're going to a place that has like 10 seats in

a corner of a cove, and it's just the best posse you could ever imagine. And just the best.
It's such a cool place.

I recommend that place for everybody. Love it.
Love it. Yeah, it's good fun.
Well, one of the things in the movie here, George, is that there's the entourage of Jay's character is immense, right?

Not just Adam, like everybody that is, like, that is at the becking call of this movie star. Hairstylist.

Yeah.

You know, like, like Travis does.

It's very similar. Makeup hair.
How accurate is this portrayal? Is this an accurate Hollywood trope? Well, I know some actors who have pretty big, you know, pretty big crowd around them.

It doesn't seem like it'd be all that fun, but I do know a few that have it. It does.
It seems like a lot of work to me. Yeah.

I hear you. But I, you know, most of the gang that I know are pretty, actually live a pretty normal life, believe it or not.
I mean, it's sort of surprising.

But, you know, most of the guys, like all the gang from Oceans that I, you know, Brad and Matt and Julia, they actually have fairly normal lives considering sort of who they are. Yeah.
Not me.

I have like 40 people.

There's someone sitting directly behind me holding my face back.

Yeah.

Oh, man, that was a banger. George, did you have to do some sort of like

long-distance training? You're running in like the entire second half of the movie. You're just sprinting across fields.
Okay, so here's the thing.

First of all, we were trying to run like a big goofball, but you know,

I'm 64 years old and we do like, it's like a couple hundred yards sprinting. Oh, yeah.
And I do it like

30 takes, you know? Oh, my God. And at one point, I go to the director, I go, you know, I'm six and four, I do.

And he goes, well, I'd just like to see you run faster.

No way.

No way.

And here's something I learned from Jason. Rather than running faster, I just pumped my arms faster.
That's right, that's right, that's right.

There you go. That's something Jason runs.
Smarter, not harder. Oh, yeah.

Oh, gosh. So, wait, where are you guys?

You're in KC, right? Yep. And Jason, where are you? I'm in Philly, man.
I live here. We settled here.
My wife is from five minutes away from where we live.

So we got a lot of support with the kids and everything. So

there wasn't another option. I don't know if we'd be able to do what we do.
Do you guys battle it out over who's got the coolest podcast? Do you get into that? Do you fight?

For sure. It's everything.
You already know. You got to.

You got to go after every bit of like bracken rights at the dinner table during Thanksgiving, man. It never stops.

What let me ask you this: as a Cincinnati fan, Burroughs coming back, like, does that inspire you, or is it just like this defense is so bad, it doesn't matter who's playing quarterback?

Well, I worry. I mean, you know, it's not like Flacco wasn't putting up good numbers, so what do you do? Listen, it's been, it's, it's an issue,

yeah, no, it's an issue thing to be a

Cincinnati fan in general.

You know, I grew up when I was growing up in Cincinnati, we were in Kentucky, but across the river, I was, you know, so in 1975, I was 14 years old, and we had the big red machine, you know,

and it was like, I didn't think, I thought we were always going to be the, you know, Cincinnati is going to be the epicenter of great sports. You know,

I didn't realize that that was sort of going to be our

swan song

in general. Pete Rose, Johnny Bench, those that freaking crazy.
Joe Morgan, Ken Griffey. Oh, yeah.
You think about the draft.

I mean, we had a team. Man.
Yeah, man. Absolutely.

Have you met Joey Burrow, the smooth guy, an Ohio native?

Haven't ran into him yet? No, and I, you know, and I'm a and I'm a big fan. I know that you, you guys like to harm him.
I know that.

Listen,

he's harmed us. He won, I think, the first three games ever played against us.
I remember it. I remember it.
Rename the stadium. Burrow.

Dog got it, Jason.

Between Burrow and our, you know, we have some amazing receivers and chase and those guys where, you know, we really do have a, you know, it's fun to watch again. That part's fun.

It's just heartbreaking to, you know, try to stop a run.

Are you guys going to win it all this year?

That's the plan, big guy. We got some things to clean up, that's for sure.
So I won't just go ahead and say that we're going to.

When you've won Super Bowls, is it every team that comes in is gunning for you guys then? Is that that how it feels? For sure. That's the price.

That's the honor that you get, though, when you win it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a competitor where I want everybody's fucking best.

I get excited about those games when the moments are huge. And, you know what I mean? It's a close game, and you need to be your greatest.
Like, I fucking love those moments.

Those are my favorite games to be a part of.

And it definitely, when you play in good quarterbacks like Burrow and Josh Allen and those guys, like, it's every game. You know what I mean?

Like, you know, you got to play your top or else you're going to get smoked i got i got a question george do you guys ever do actors get competitive like athletes it's funny like everybody's gunning for the chiefs and the eagles for the super bowl like do you get competitive with some of these other guys like my film's gonna outdo yours or

how does that work no i don't think so because we're kind of you know there's not a you know i don't have to beat out somebody or they don't have to beat me out so i you know to to sort of succeed you know in a weird way but

so there isn't really that kind of competition you know I mean I do enjoy like you know I'll give those guys shit I love giving Matt Damon shit

he deserves it by the way

but he's a Patriots fan and the Patriots are playing well I can't live with it right now

it's bad

they let him they let of Ohio guy get it get at their own man I'm just saying ohio ball player man crazy how much coverage can make a difference yeah it's huge though and then and you know and pit's Pitt's a Kansas City fan, so you guys got Pitt.

Oh, yeah. So, you know, the whole oceans, the whole oceans team is breaking me, man.
It's just too much for me.

No, we're going to do another Oceans. What? You guys are doing another one? Yeah, we're going to do another one.
Oh, but you know, now we're old.

So it's going to be like mostly just trying not to crap yourself.

Dude,

I can't fucking wait, though. It's like every sneeze is a gamble now.

Is this already, like, are you you guys getting ready to film it how does this work no we're scouting locations everything's been agreed to yeah the only the main thing is just finding the time for those in the schedule to figure out when we can all do it but yeah we've got a really good script and it's gonna be fun fun to work get those guys back in the room it'd be fun oh hell yeah

well it's been pretty damn good so far yeah yeah do you think you'll ever get back in on screen with the Cohen brothers? I got to say, oh, brother, where art thou? Hail Caesar.

Burn after reading. Come on now.
Oh my gosh.

Yeah, that was a pretty funny thing. You know, I remember when I was doing Oh Brother, Where Art Thou, you know, they came to me.

My aunt was this famous singer named Rosemary Clooney, great singer, and back in the 50s. And

they kind of assumed because I had an aunt who could sing, I think they assumed I could sing.

Okay.

Quite the assignment.

I assumed I could sing too, by the way. And then I got down,

they took me down to Nashville and they had me singing Mana Constantzaro in the literally in the recording studio.

And I sing it like

all out, you know, and I finish and I look up and no one will look me in the eye. You know, they're all looking down like, oh, man, we're going to have to.

And they come, let's play it back for you, George. They're hoping.
And it just sounded like a cat caught in the wheel row of a car.

It was so bad. It was so humiliating.

So then they brought another guy and they dubbed me. But, you know, those guys, I mean, some of their movies are just some of the best films.

I mean, Raising Arizona, you know, from early on, they were just good films.

I don't know.

They haven't been working together as much right now, but if they get something back together, I'll do it. You know, if they call, I'll go.
I've never, I think I've done five films with them.

They're fun to work with.

Yeah, absolutely. We got one last segment here for you, George, man.
We know you're on a tight schedule, brother.

Baby, I'm ready. Come on.

We appreciate the time, but this is our last segment. We got to ask, but you don't have to answer.

You can tell us to kick rocks or you can have some fun with us with a question ask them away man whatever you got you claim that you and your wife haven't gotten in a fight in 10 years that's right are you lying no i'm not lying uh

travis shall we ask you the same questions

well it's only been two and a half years and you're right i haven't gotten an argument

all right never once honestly you know neither of us are going to win the argument so why get in it there we go there you go that's a smart man right there yeah what's the secret just not just staying out of the argument altogether dude i'm 64 years old and what am i going to argue about at this point you know i'm like yeah you know i met this incredible woman that you know is you know she she's uh beautiful and smart and she stands for all the most important things that i believe in in the world and i i can't believe how lucky i am so what am i gonna fight about you know i'm like that's a great answer you know damn that's a good one too late to do it yeah you can use that if you want I'm stealing it for sure.

I'm just taking notes this whole time, big guy. You don't even know.
Exactly. Come on, bring me another one.
What else you got? Come on, Trev. As Batman, where do you rank Jason as Fat Batman?

Do we have the

picture for him? Let's see that. Oh, nice.

I think I remember that picture coming out. Oh, gosh.

Very unfortunate that you can see this.

You could be

one of the bad guys in the film. By the way,

both of you and I know that I was the best Batman. You know that, right? Absolutely.
There's no argument.

I mean, Ben Affleck, come on.

I mean,

I put

that competitiveness comes in. Yeah.

You know, I'm the only one who had rubber nipples. You have rubber nipples.

Rubber nipples.

Titans didn't come through enough on the suit.

Yeah, it did.

When it got colder, it was like two Dunlap tires coming out.

All right. Bad look.
Is it true that you once stole Bill Clinton's stationery and wrote a fake note to actors saying

President Love? All right, go ahead. Jimmy Kimmel.
gave me a stack of stationery with a presidential seal and Bill Clinton's name on it.

And I would send notes to all these actors from Bill Clinton. I'd sign it.
And I'd find a movie that wasn't a great film of theirs. And I'd be like, you know, I love you and this film.

And I'd write these notes and I'd send them, I'd send them to like 30 different actors. I guarantee you, some of them are framed on some of their own.

Oh my gosh.

They don't even know. They still don't know.

That is amazing.

Now they know. Now they know.
Oh, my gosh.

Holy crap.

By the way, I did that. I do that a lot.
Like, I have, I had Brad Pitt stationary. Yeah.
And I sent,

you know, I've told a couple of people this before, but

Brad Pitt Stationery that Kimmel gave me again. And I sent, somebody had sent me this book of

dialects, like CDs where you could do an Irish accent or you could do a French accent. There's a guy who teaches that.
And I had this big book. I don't know why I had it.
Somebody sent it to me.

And so I take a note with Brad Pitt and I send it to Meryl Streep.

And I go, dear Meryl, from Brad yeah I go this guy helped me in my accent in the movie Troy and I thought maybe you could use it and I send her the

broke of accents

so awful

like four years later

i see her and i tell the story yeah he knows it now four years later later, I see Meryl, and I tell her the story, and she's like, Oh my God, I was wondering why the fuck he's saving me.

So awful. That is epic.
That is epic. We've done a lot of terrible things to each other.
He's done terrible things to me, man. So it all comes out.
It all evens out. That's so good, man.

Speaking of Brad, he told us a story when he was on New Heights not too long ago about how he ate so many beans during a scene, right before a scene, that he, um or during the scene i'm sorry that he ended up yeah clearing the set he cleared the set yeah he cleared the set for what he said uh what's your like worst moment on set i think right now just exact moment right here exact moment

i don't think i i don't think i can sink to a note newer low

i can think you know i'll tell you some of my worst moments i'll set i remember when we

so like you know when you're a younger actor you get a movie and you think it's going to be great and i i remember being on the set of uh of batman and robin

which is famously one of the worst films of all time and i'm terrible in it and uh i remember there was like uh the director with you know i'm laying in a you're in a rubber cowl and you can't move because it weighs like 75 pounds and you're like tucked down and you're on a board laying down like this and you're waiting to for action and the director schumacher is like going okay here we go and your parents are dead you have nothing to live for and action and then it brought me up

i go

i'm batman and they go and they drop you back down and i remember thinking you know i was so excited to get the part and then i realized i was the worst thing in the movie so it was uh it was a pretty humiliating

oh my goodness it was humiliating greatest batman of all time can't tell me any different dude i'm telling you best batman ever.

Come on.

Michael Keaton's got nothing on it. Come on.

Well,

speaking off of that moment, do you have a welcome to Hollywood moment? We ask a lot of our guests, it could be good or bad. Like you're kind of like first moment where you're like, man,

I'm in it. I'm in Hollywood.
Oh, I don't know. I have to think about that.
Like, yeah, I mean, like, I remember meeting Paul Newman, you know,

and it's like, you know, I'd grown up with him, right? I'd seen him at the drive-in theater in Maysville, Kentucky, and like, you know, Butch Cassie, the Sundance Kid, and all this stuff. Holy stuff.

And then, like, I remember

being on the lot at Warner Brothers, driving, going by in a golf cart, and there was Paul Newman. I stopped and I go, hey.
And he goes, hey, man. And he came over and he had a beer.
and a cigarette.

And he goes, you want a beer? And I was like, yeah,

turning that down.

And

I was still working, by the way, and I was like, yeah, I'll take a beer. And I just wanted to drink a beer with Paul Newman.

And I sat there for like an hour and a half outside the soundstage with him just talking. And I remember going home thinking, dude, I just hung with Paul Newman, man.

It was like, I remember that being like, you know, there was that era of. actual proper movie stars, you know, Gregory Peck and I became friends.

There's like that thing where you go, these guys are, they are actually bigger than life. And it was, it was a real thrill.
You know, his eyes were bluer in person than they were on screen.

You know, it was really something.

Well, you match you now, brother.

I'd say the same thing.

I appreciate you for being the fucking coolest guy in the goddamn world, man. We had a fucking whole lot of fun reaching your new low on new heights.

And

we can't say enough good about you. And everybody, go and see Jay Kelly

coming out on Netflix here soon. And, man, can't thank you enough for your time, brother.
You're the fucking best.

And good luck. Good luck, Bengals defense.
Yeah, you already know.

You hurt me. One last shot to the chest.

All right, and that does it for George Clooney. I hope you guys enjoyed it.
We sure did. We still are

way out of our league. Yeah.
Way out of our league. In many ways.
In many ways.

We recorded that a while ago, and I'm still thinking about how I could could have, you know, came off cooler to George or came, like, tried to do something to bring something to that conversation.

But George just took it away.

I was in shock the whole time. So good looking and charismatic.

He was glowing. It's why is it?

They have better lighting than us?

Why was he glowing like that? I think he's just, it's his aura. It's like his sits around with the glow.

I think whatever his spirit is inside of him, it's manifesting in ways that mine just doesn't have the ability to do. Yeah.
Well, if you want to see him glow, go ahead and watch Jay Kelly.

You'll see him glow

the whole movie. It's an outstanding movie, really is.
Adam Sandler and him, just the dynamic between those two is fantastic.

It's a great movie. It's very good.
Highly recommend it. Check it out.
That wraps up this episode of New Heights.

Thank you to George Cooney. Make sure you subscribe to New Heights channel on YouTube and follow New Heights in the Wonder Reapp or wherever you get your podcast.

You can listen to new episodes of New Heights ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus and the Wonder Reapp or on Apple Podcasts. Once again, New Heights a Wonder Show brought to you by Yeti.

That's right, those coolers and those

chips that just keep everything at the tip of the show. Bringing us some Yeti.
All right, right now.

Follow the show on all social media at New Heights Show with OneS for fun clips throughout the week.

And thanks to our New Heights production team for always making us look better and for making this way easier than we could have ever imagined to the 92 percenters. We love you guys.

We'll see you you guys soon.

I still remember that purple minivan. Me and Ben Bloom would

lower all the windows and open the sliding door in the trunk and cruise around the parking lot. playing Al Fats out and came down and shouts

as loud as those stock speakers could come on thinking thinking that like anybody else could hear this, barely can hear it. Yeah, the crisis,

they heard you guys in there laughing more than they heard the actual music. How the came down, hiding came down, hiding, hiding, hot and hot and the came down.
Hey, me now.

So I had to skip a couple words of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We gotta be selective. Gotta be selective.
From Superior, they be coming down. That song made it into Madden.
It did. You're right.

That is such an obscure song to make it into Madden. Yeah, well, LeBron showed up at

Al Fats, is what they ended up calling him, but Fat Al's. Well, he was Fat Al initially, and now he's Al Fats.
Yeah, he got big enough to where copyrights came in and said, hell no.

There was another song that was really popular that year. My Nick.
My bad.

It wasn't that. That didn't start.
That's when I thought you were.

I didn't have the confidence for that one.

Jason Kelsey.

You know how little confidence I had when you were

more in college, didn't you? That was more once I kind of built up bigger self-esteem.

Mom and dad, mom and mom, dad and dad, whatever. Parents, are you about to spend five hours in the car with your beloved kids this holiday season? Driving to old Granny's house? I'm setting the scene.

I'm picturing screaming, fighting, back-to-back hours of the K-pop demon hunters soundtrack on repeat.

Well, when your ears start to bleed, I have the perfect thing to keep you from rolling out of that moving vehicle. Something for the whole family.
He's filled with laughs. He's filled with rage.

The OG Green Grump, give it up for me, James Austin Johnson, as the Grinch.

And like any insufferable influencer these days, I'm bringing my crew of lesser talented friends along for the ride with A-list guests like Gronk, Mark Hamill, and the Jonas Brothers, whoever they are.

There's a little bit of something for everyone. Listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.