PREVIEW: Larry Hand

It's summer and it's a bonus episode.

Hello, welcome.

It's hot town.

Summer in the city.

Thank you for subscribing to the mayoral benevolent feed.

This is a bonus episode.

I don't know if we have a mayor for this one.

We don't.

We don't.

It's mere anarchy.

It's been loosed upon the world.

Much like the town of Leichhardt, Australia.

The Mayor Taculus wheeled.

it's like usually it gives us a mayor.

Sometimes it wheels in the TV.

And the Mayor Taculus has wheeled in the TV for us.

Just a big loom entangling a TV cabinet.

Yeah, specifically, listener Sam has emailed.

Well, it was interesting because we were consulting the Mayor Taculus and it wheeled in the big TV.

And we said, What's on the big TV today?

And the Mayor Taculus said it will be revealed to you.

And just then, I received an email from Listener Sam, who sent in the 1994, nope, 1996 documentary, Rats in the Ranks.

This is so fucking good, which is about the 1994, uh, was it pronounced Leichhardt?

They pronounce it a couple of

Leichhardt Council mayoral elections in the suburbs of um

Sydney, Sydney, I think.

Thank you, thank you to Sam, listener Sam, as distinct from Editor Sam, although thank you to Editor Sam as well.

Thank you to Listener Sam for being an agent of the Mentaculous.

Yes, the mayor is the Mentaculous, excuse me.

Please, I mean, we're all agents of the Mentaculous.

Thank you.

It really works, Dad.

Thank you.

I'm going to think about another movie at some point.

Probably rats in the ranks.

But like, no, thank you for

sending this in and giving us access to this because this is a beautiful documentary, just a nice, tight 90 about the machinations required to elect a mayor.

in

not even a suburb, just like a sort of like urban area out with the city limits of Sydney, like

of like 15,000 people or something.

Yeah.

This is my conclave.

This is beautiful.

Like conclave was my conclave, but this is too.

Yeah, this is it's municipal conclave in a quite literal sense.

You know, yeah, yeah.

Like actually quite literally, yeah, because it's not a direct election.

It is like a, it is like eight city councillors or ten, whatever.

An amount of city councillors electing a mayor from their own ranks.

Very conclavey.

And this, this comes at like kind of precipitous times.

I read a history of the kind of

like New South Wales Australian left in order to contextualize this.

There's a lot going on here.

But so the initial upshot of this is we see the council chambers and we see

before we get into it.

We got some

we have an item.

We have an item.

Items?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Please, please.

Item.

Item.

Sorry not to interrupt you.

I am loath to interrupt a woman with an item, but no, no, no.

I have two items for trans women, not women with an item.

And some of us don't even have the item anymore.

Yeah.

It's the phantom item.

So here is the

two stories for us today.

Number one, the item is an addendum to the Willie Lantigua story that was also sent in by a listener.

I can't believe I missed this.

But there is another son, and it's not Lantigua's son.

Another Lentigua.

You're back on the sun beats again.

I've never left.

The Mayortaculus has a, has a real sort of, there's a thread of sons running through the Mayor Taculus.

Uh-huh.

In this case, though, this was a, do you remember there was the school superintendent, Willie LeBoy?

I do remember Willie LaBoy, yeah.

William the boy.

Yeah, William the lad.

Or sorry, Will Fredo.

Will Fredo LaBoy.

The one who was the school superintendent where they printed the campaign materials illegally.

And then like while they were searching him for evidence of that crime, we're like, oh, also, you have alcohol on school property.

So we're going to charge you with that too.

Yeah.

Sick.

He pleaded guilty today.

The son of Willie Laboy,

who's Willie LeBoy II.

So Willie the second boy, pled guilty to perjury today in connection with a grand jury investigation of his father that had nothing to do with the grand jury investigation of Willie Latigua.

These are separate grand juries.

That's cool.

Wilfredo LeBoy

the second, 38, so a 38-year-old son,

was sentenced to one year of probation after prosecutors recommended he serve at least a year behind bars.

And his job.

He had to be sentenced as a juvenile because, you know.

So his

son, because of the name, because of the name LeBoy.

Because he's his name,

as a son.

Sounds like he's the boy, yeah.

So he owns a pizza restaurant.

And then what happened is his father also illegally printed using school printers, advertising materials and menus menus for the pizza restaurant.

Wow.

And of course, his father also had to be charged as a juvenile.

The court said, Let's hear it for the boy.

Yeah.

And you could say something like, La Boys are back in town.

You could say, yeah.

La Boys are back in jail in this case.

The boys are back in the Grand Party.

La Boys are back on probation, more specifically.

This is

a boy ASMR hour on No God's New Mirrors.

We've got to use.

I wasn't doing ASMR.

I was trying to convey my deep fucking sorrow.

I bare my heart to this podcast.

And in return, you change the name of the group chat.

So LeBois's 61-year-old father was convicted of fraud and embezzlement last year for using school personnel and materials to print menus for his son's pizza shop and get school personnel to drive him to work.

That's so cool.

You can kind of use the school as like unwaged labor.

That's allowed.

That's like Corvette or whatever.

We had the kids color in the pizza menus.

Didn't fucking

Rob Ford

use a bunch of football players that he coached as kind of unwaged labor?

Am I misremembering that?

Oh, no, you're very close.

It was Rob Ford used city staff to do stuff for his football team.

Oh, okay.

So the reverse LeBoy.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

It was

Le May.

Yeah.

Going into a French gender identity clinic.

And be like, I want you to make me Le Marsh Le Boy.

Yeah.

Okay.

See, now we're finally fucking cooking here.

We got giving the old reverse LeBoy.

My favorite endurance race is 24 Hours of LeBoy.

LeBoy.

Ford versus Ferrari at LeBoy.

Yeah.

So

basically, it's like, I think for a while, Lawrence, Massachusetts had the most grand juries per capita in the world.

It's like Keynesian full employment, but full empaneling.

See, this is the thing.

We don't thank our corrupt mayors enough.

Yeah.

Ham sandwiches and shambles is another

great journey's impaneled.

And then I had one more, one more item.

Item.

Item.

Item.

This is for one more municipal roundup.

This is someone I've wanted to municipally round up for quite a while.

Put a lesson.

Big butterfly gnat.

Yeah.

Which, of course, they would use at a rodeo, which this is.

Yeah, of course.

Get along, little doggy.

Riley is yelling at every mayor in America.

At the butterfly rodeo, of course.

Some kind of freak podcaster has thrown a butterfly net over the mayor.

Send help.

He's wearing a big cowboy hat and a sash.

The mayor's been mayor napped.

He's wearing a really, really expensive t-shirt, though.

I don't know what that's about.

Kidnapped mayor and finding a bunch of really depressing results from Mexico and nothing funny.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, it's not going to be hijinks, mayor.

I mean, Russia kidnapped a Ukrainian mayor, which is also pretty depressing.

Tracks.

This is about Luke Smith, and every Australian listener was just like, oh, fucking go on, Mike.

Lukey Smith?

That's what they sound like.

That's what every Australian listener spoke in one voice.

They all collaborated on a voice note, which they sent to us.

And it sounded like exactly.

In fact, that was it being played there.

Yeah, I just played it.

They sent it back in time.

So Luke Smith.

was the mayor of another a bit like like heart logan queensland is is like bigger it's like actually it's much bigger It's got like a few hundred thousand people in it.

Boston, Logan, Queensland.

Yeah.

So he was mayor of Logan, Queensland from 2016 to 19 as like a liberal national candidate.

So a real piece of work.

Liberals are the conservatives in Australia, right?

Yes, correct.

I can just start from reading an article from local press in 2023.

A former Queensland mayor has gone, according to his lawyer, from rooster to feather duster because of his ongoing criminal trial.

Uh-huh.

He's been de-plumaged.

His plumage has been fucked.

He's been repurposed as a feather duster.

Not even fucked into a cocked hat because a cocked hat needs a feather.

They're going to put him in the mop museum.

His barrister.

He's putting your ass in the mop museum.

The cleaning implements go.

His barrister, Jeffrey Hunter, said at Thursday's sentencing hearing, he's gone from, I'll use the expression, a rooster to a feather duster.

He's been put in the mop museum because he's washed.

He's not doing well.

Luke Smith, 53, may have to leave the state to rebuild his life now that a year legal case against him is finalized.

He pled guilty to misconduct in public office.

Yeah.

Is now teetering on the edge of bankruptcy after his family home was sold.

His marriage failed.

He developed a problem with alcohol and currently lives at his brother's house.

Yeah, I mean,

just a minute.

That would definitely kind of turn me into a feather duster as well, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My marriage failed and then my marriage failed.

Yeah.

Oh, very good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Two bit like Bride and Grimm showing one big sash yeah after holding a high the high office of mayor of logan queensland smith now works as a car detailer and part-time security guard oh so what you might you might ask have happened here i i might ask what have happened here yes yes regarding the charge uh crown prosecutor said that the court found that smith quote acted corruptly when he received a seven and a half meter boat from a political donor in 2016.

okay

corrupt boat deal.

Let's fucking go.

A man who was given a boat and it ruined his life because he was the mayor.

There are some stories about that, you know, maybe in like the Bible or something.

I don't know.

Yeah.

It's also kind of like,

that's like a standard boat owner joke, right?

Because you buy a boat and it ruins your life.

Yeah, for sure.

And then you put it on the back of your boat and it's like life ruiner or whatever.

Yeah.