Higino Carneiro

Speaker 1 Hello, everybody. Welcome to this free episode and very momentous episode, in fact, of No Gods, No Mayors.
It is Riley. I'm your mayor for this episode.

Speaker 1 It is, of course, also Nova and Maddie, my lovely co-mayors, who are joining me. And obviously, right,

Speaker 1 the day before this was recorded, there was an enormous election. And I just think we're all really happy it went the way it did.
We got to see see our guy win.

Speaker 1 And I know it's a huge relief for Maddie in particular.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 But I think around the world, everyone can look at what's happened in the USA and feel some hope in our hearts.

Speaker 1 So from the podcast, we want to issue a hearty congratulations for his 4th of November election win to Kurt Skug of Overland Park, Texas.

Speaker 2 Ah, thank you, Kurt. Congratulations, Kurt.
Mayor Skug. Mayor Skug.

Speaker 1 We at No Gods, No Mayors, wish, formally wish Mayor Kurt Skoog a fantastic second term.

Speaker 1 Of course, he was first elected in 2021 to the mayor of Overland Park after a cruising to victory over conservative Republican Mike Zingi after the retirement of longtime incumbent Carl Gerlach.

Speaker 2 These names are incredible. Zingi was so scandal-ridden.
And ultimately, I think any progressive can now look to the kind of Skoog method. Yeah.
Yeah, we have rejected Chingiism in all of its forms.

Speaker 2 And today begins the Skoog century.

Speaker 1 I think it was really cool, though, when like Carl Gerlach wore his hot girls for Scoog outfit

Speaker 1 t-shirt to vote for Kurt Skoog.

Speaker 2 I very much want, if we can make it without getting sued, to sell a hot girls for Scoog t-shirt.

Speaker 1 And you know what's crazy is like Mike Zingi, right, in 2021, he mounted a quite, he mounted a campaign.

Speaker 1 that was like we have to defend suburbia against like crime and liberal policies this is true you know i'm doing a misdirect but this is actually true he did say that and skoog was like no we're going to campaign with forward thinking, walkable developments, entice young people to leave.

Speaker 2 People love skoogism.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, like, Mayor Skoog, here's to another fabulous term implementing your strategic development framework, Forward Overland Park. Congratulations.

Speaker 2 The Thousand Year Scoog Progress Project begins tonight, friends.

Speaker 2 I thought it was weird that Scoog came out at the celebration to do machale, but fine, whatever. You know, I think he's allowed.
Yeah. I'm so tired.
I'm so hungover. Yeah.
Why is that?

Speaker 2 Were you out celebrating anything special happening?

Speaker 1 Celebrating the Skoog?

Speaker 2 I was back in my neighborhood, the People's Republic of Astoria Queens, at my local bar, celebrating the victory of Mr. Zoron Mamdani, who I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I'm not familiar.
Could I get that name again, please? Team A M D A N I. You know who's interested, you know who interestingly said it wrong one last time in his concession speech

Speaker 2 was Mr. Andrew Kuamo.
I just watched his, we're now transitioning to the Zoran episode, the Zoron part of the episode. Hello.
Yeah. Unexpected item in the bagging area.

Speaker 2 Unexpected item in the bagging area. The thing is, fantastic item in the bagging area.
Syndicated podcast of all time, right?

Speaker 2 No one has been doing it like us because we decided to do a podcast about mayors immediately after that. Eric Adams gets embattled.

Speaker 2 Immediately after that, we go straight into the election that delivers us the best political news any of us have had in a good few years. Yeah, I, I, um, it's called shots only.

Speaker 2 And I think tomorrow Riley's going to send us a photo of him injecting estrogen and giving us a big thumbs up.

Speaker 2 Like, I call, I called this one, and you didn't want me to.

Speaker 2 You were like, no, no, no, no, no. You'll curse it.
And the thing is, I didn't, though.

Speaker 2 So in many ways, my part in Zoran Mamdani's victory, I think he's been tremendously ungrateful towards me personally.

Speaker 2 All of the support that I'm giving him, you know, I didn't hear a word in that speech about how he's going to represent me or my interests. That's actually not true.

Speaker 2 Because I don't live in the same country or,

Speaker 2 you know, cities.

Speaker 2 He said, I will say, and to be earnest for fucking four seconds here, I will say it was watching the victory speech. I was like on the subway coming home and or to where I was staying.

Speaker 2 And I was watching the speech on the phone. And there was a bit where he said, like, talked about standing steadfastly with the trans community.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I saw an exit poll this morning where he split straight vote, basically, and won LGBT people like 85 to 15. Like that might be the margin.

Speaker 2 And let me be clear, if you're in that 15%,

Speaker 2 I, I, I don't know what

Speaker 2 you would get fired from fucking Chase Bank.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're no longer allowed on the pride flow.

Speaker 2 I hope you feel an authentic human emotion for once in your life that causes you to understand. Yeah, I hope you fucking collapse.

Speaker 2 I hope you trip and fall and hit your head at the boiler room, you cunt.

Speaker 2 I hope the plot of Wallace Sean's The Fever happens to you.

Speaker 2 But I watched Cuomo's concession speech this morning, and I don't know if you guys got a chance to watch it, but he basically just read his victory speech, I think.

Speaker 2 Like, he just talked about how good his campaign did. He talked about how, like, he said the press was trying to coronate Zoran.
And I was like, are you out of your fucking mind, you dumb bitch?

Speaker 2 Like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 2 There's a New York Post front page today where they have the backwards,

Speaker 2 yeah, the Yad Apple, because they have the backwards R to symbolize communism. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Where they've got, they've got Zaran holding up a hammer and sickle. It looks cool.
I sent my beautiful wife, Jaya, friend of the show.

Speaker 2 We love Jaya, went out of the, went out of the apartment this morning to go find a copy of that so we could have it because it's incredible.

Speaker 2 And she went to six corner stores and I dare not say the other word. She went to six corner stores and none of them had it.
I'm sorry. Was she offer not to go to the bodega? The bodega? The bodega?

Speaker 2 The bodega, yes. Apostrophe.
The bodega. The bodega.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Bodega.

Speaker 2 So he also, like in the speech, basically went on and on. It was like, nothing will ever divide us.

Speaker 2 Like he kept talking like he was going, like he's going to continue to live here and not move to fucking Florida. Like he said a million times.

Speaker 2 It's really funny to lose and be like, I will be a mayor for all citizens of New York City. That's basically what he said.
And it's like, you lost considerably.

Speaker 2 And then at the end, he goes, congratulations to Zoron Mamdammy. Fucking asshole.
And he gets hit.

Speaker 2 Everyone starts booing and screaming. He goes, no, that's not us.
And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? He still has not called Zoron at press time.

Speaker 2 We're recording on the 5th in the morning.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know who did? Eric Adams didn't call him.
Yeah. Andrew Cuomo didn't call him.

Speaker 2 Curtis.

Speaker 2 We have not talked about him and why like we talked about a little bit on the show, but like the thing is he rose back to political prominence basically like beating up migrants on live television.

Speaker 2 Like he is a fucking guy who is evil. He sucks.
But it is crazy. It's crazy that he is maybe this and he is second place in integrity in this election, which is

Speaker 2 he weirdly has a kind of sense of honor, which includes him doing a bunch of like hate crimes, but also encompasses him being like,

Speaker 2 New York City is the greatest city in the world because anyone can come here and get lunged at with a switchblade by the Gambinos.

Speaker 2 He's a really compelling weirdo, and I hope that Zoran finds some kind of harmless enclosure for him, his trans wife, his 17 cats, where they can just kind of be a part of the fabric of the city city without harming anyone.

Speaker 2 He, yeah, he said in his concession speech that someone offered him $10 million to drop out.

Speaker 2 A shadowy Bill Ackman-shaped informant.

Speaker 1 I want to talk a little bit about Bill Ackman.

Speaker 2 Can I just say Bill Wackman?

Speaker 2 Do they have whack?

Speaker 2 He's falling off a bike right now because he heard that. I find him to be whack overall, I'll say.
So I'll say Bill Wackman. Bill Wackman.
Thank you. Bill Wackman.

Speaker 2 Bill Wackman.

Speaker 2 This is what Curtis Lewa would have called him if he had thought of it, but he was distracted remembering a time when a guy tried to bundle him into the trunk of a car.

Speaker 1 So Bill Wackman said, supposedly an unprecedented 2.2 million turnout with 60% above 45 years old. I mean to be an optimist and say Andrew Cuomo is going to win.

Speaker 1 If he fails to win, it's because Sleewa cares more about himself in New York City. If Cuomo wins, he's going to make a great mayor.
Why? Because he'll owe nothing to the Democratic Party.

Speaker 2 Typical rightists always splitting their own votes.

Speaker 1 Real people's oligarchic front of Judea here.

Speaker 1 So Donald Trump is going to want to work with Cuomo to make New York great again. M-N-Y-G-A.
We could also say many G-A. So what, many, great again?

Speaker 2 You could pronounce that a couple of ways. Neither of them are good.
M-N-G-Y-A.

Speaker 1 M-N-Y-G-A. Excuse me.

Speaker 2 M-N-Y-G-A. It really looks...
Like it could be bad out loud. See, I want to, I gravitate towards like Moniga, like a sort of town upstate.
Yeah. There's also like a chap hop guy saying the n-word.

Speaker 2 Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer has taken a turn.
He's been on a political journey the last few years. Ever since he left Rhyme.
That's a real guy. I don't want to.
I don't know what the politics of Mr.

Speaker 2 B the Gentleman Rhymer are now. Maybe he's woke.
I hope he's woke. If you are Mr.
B the Gentleman Rhymer, please write in. Let us know what your politics are.

Speaker 2 I feel like I think of chapop as a thing that is extant, but I think it might just be that one guy.

Speaker 2 It was that guy, and then there was the Pith Helmet guy, Professor Elemental, who I also hope is woke, but the Pith Helmet, again, kind of militates against it.

Speaker 2 Mr. I'm gonna, I'm just gonna look this up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you checked,

Speaker 1 but basically what Ackman said, he said all this.

Speaker 2 And then I was waiting overnight for the Ackman crash out, and it never really came. That was kind of disappointing.

Speaker 2 He has the at gentleman rhymer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the Wackman crash out came saying,

Speaker 1 dot at Zoran K Mamdani, congrats on the win. Now you have a big responsibility.
If I can help New York City, just let me know what I can do. And it's like, bitch,

Speaker 1 you have been made to look like a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 I have some suggestions for what you can do. If you look under that post,

Speaker 2 you'll see that one of the hosts of the podcast, No Gods, No Mayors, while very, very drunk, filled the entire Twitter character limit with aha ha ha.

Speaker 2 Also, love us.

Speaker 1 I love the fucking, like Bill Ackman's like, well, in my official capacity as Bill Ackman, I suppose I have to work with whoever's mayor. And it's like

Speaker 2 the institution, you know, you salute the rank of Bill Ackman, not the guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah.
Like, what the fuck? Who, why is, why are you a private citizen being like, well, I suppose I'll do my duty regardless. To what? To post?

Speaker 2 Do you live there? No, you don't. Yeah.
God damn it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The amount of people who do not live here who who are, like, there was a thing where, oh, God, where's the,

Speaker 2 I, I took a screenshot from the New York Times, like, like, election update fucking thing. And there was an incredible bit that I'm just trying to locate here real quick.
Hold on. It was, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, because the thing is, New York City exists. Its valence is to be somewhere you don't live, but are insane.
Yeah, the crowd at Cuomo's party is chanting, shame on Sleewa.

Speaker 2 And then under it, the Cuomo Watch Party continues to empty out. The last three attendees I spoke with were from Westchester and New Jersey.

Speaker 2 You have your own mayors, dog. Leave me alone.

Speaker 2 As we will establish, those mayors are sort of horrible little freaks who just sort of administer the sort of Hitlerite bedroom community.

Speaker 2 What they want is the big Hitlerite freak to administer the office so they don't have to like ever see a homeless person. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah, I can, yeah, because I bet that a commitment to like economic justice will have nothing to do with the size of the homeless population. Well, quite.

Speaker 1 So then the other thing I wanted to note as well about this was, of course, Andrew Cuomo's last-ditch appeal to New Yorkers was, look, Trump has already said he will do everything to strangle New York if Mom Donnie wins.

Speaker 1 So you'd better vote for me.

Speaker 2 That was one of his appeals. And the other, and the other was, I have OJ's Bronco.

Speaker 2 I have the license plate KMS on it. No, no, it is.
It is legally distinct from OJ's Bronco. He made a whole video showing us how it was different.
How could he lose?

Speaker 2 That was his final message to voters was, I'm driving a car similar to OJ's Bronco, but not exactly because I bought it two years after the Bronco chase.

Speaker 2 It's his love.

Speaker 2 Why would you buy a white Ford Bronco two years after OJ? Because he's really cool. He's a cool guy.

Speaker 2 That's actually a similar level of sociopathy as Eric Adams' favorite cons.

Speaker 2 Being beloved when the almost being killed. Yeah.
It was Curtis Mayfield getting paralyzed, wasn't it? Curtis Mayfield. Sorry.
Sorry. Yeah.
Yeah. That's right.
That's right.

Speaker 1 Or that's also like Michael Jordan being like, I'm going to do the Hitler mustache. That's going to be my mustache.
Now they're going to call it the Jordan.

Speaker 1 Corn was like, this Bronco is going to be famous. They're going to call it the governor.

Speaker 2 By the way, just semiotically, a beautiful thing that I saw with the Bronco yesterday, or yeah, yesterday. And it was he was showing up with the Bronco.

Speaker 2 I noticed it was parked in a bike lane and then it drove away in a bus lane. It was parked in a bike lane.
It drove away in a bus lane.

Speaker 2 And besides having the initials KMS in it, the license plate also has one of the twos chipped the paint off to make it look like a seven for traffic cameras.

Speaker 2 What a fucking, I mean, listen, I don't know.

Speaker 2 The demographics have not come out yet, but during the primary, the biggest leading indicator of if you voted for Cuomo was do you own a car?

Speaker 2 Which like in New York makes you a rich psycho. Unless you live in like Garden City or something, in which case it's a necessity if you're in like a transit desert.

Speaker 2 But like most New Yorkers, like there's i don't know owning a car means basically you are rich or you own a store or an apartment building anyways landlords go to cuomo everyone else it's beautiful it's a beautiful moment guys i'm just very i'm thrilled i feel okay

Speaker 2 i'm i'm i'm i'm cresting the wave of of sort of like scook euphoria yeah i've got we've got um it's now been 12 hours since the election was called kind of um i'd say we got another 24 hours of being we are in a safe zone of living out and then back to work, I think.

Speaker 2 Okay. Sure.

Speaker 2 You've got that big like factory whistle, the steam whistle there to like summon us all back to work in the socialism mindset. That's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Well, anyway, a full and

Speaker 2 understand. I thought I was going to be living out.

Speaker 1 A full and hearty congratulations to Zoron and Skoog and all the mayors of the world, really.

Speaker 2 Like there was another one, though. Zoran's campaign manager for like middle school class president just flipped a Republican seat in like deepest Virginia as well.
So it's, it's, it's just all over.

Speaker 2 I woke is back.

Speaker 2 A friend of mine, by the way, showed me a friend of mine, I found out, went to middle school with Zoron and posted a photo of their middle school yearbook, like class president campaign.

Speaker 2 And it's like baby Zoron holding up a poster with a photo of a cow and it just says, got Mom Donnie.

Speaker 2 Apparently.

Speaker 2 We do. And also in small town, Pennsylvania, a trans woman won office for mayor.
I will not be looking into her politics because I don't care. Yeah.
Fantastic. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I know that she's actually better off not knowing. I saw a photo of her in the Blazer, and I thought, I'm not really curious what her politics are.

Speaker 1 So, do we want to move on to a little segment called Municipal Roundup and then to the main mayor that I've thrown together for today?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, we have one roundup item to the voice train.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Hey, buddy, I've been doing it for like two years and I can't get fucking anywhere.
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
We're all friends here. Riley hasn't even started transitioning yet.

Speaker 2 It's true. Riley, do you want to start resonating and trying to resonate in the front of your mouth? Do you want to get really buzzy? Push the tongue into your roof of your mouth and kind of...
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, that really works. Do you want to do the whisper siren?

Speaker 2 Once you start thinking about where you're resonating, you can really just wander around. Riley, do you want to do the whisper siren with us?

Speaker 1 If I do this.

Speaker 1 I sound like fucking Mike Tyson, but like lady.

Speaker 2 Lady Mike Tyson, our new character on the show. I think it's time.
We've been in the show over a year now, and I think it's time we start introducing characters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone loves that. Sorry, sorry.
Everyone loves that. Mike, it really works.

Speaker 2 It's, I, that's crazy. Yeah.
It's hey, Riley.

Speaker 2 Hey, when you heard that voice come out of your mouth, how did you feel? It felt fine.

Speaker 2 Well, okay.

Speaker 2 What's interesting interesting to what's interesting to me about us trying to get Riley to transition thing is not so much that he's like experiencing gender euphoria or not, it's that he is feeling gender neutrality when it happens, which is very interesting.

Speaker 2 He's just completely okay with whatever. Like if Riley woke up tomorrow with huge honking bazongas, I bet he'd be like, all right,

Speaker 2 this is well, this is interesting, but it hasn't really no

Speaker 2 import on the podcasts that I have to record today. It'll be easier to attract lesbians, but that's about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 A thing I was already committed to doing for some reason.

Speaker 1 I guess I'll have to buy some new shirts, I suppose.

Speaker 2 Or the shirts I already own look pretty fucking cool, actually.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 municipal roundups. Sorry, I am introducing a new segment called honking bazongas, Chad.

Speaker 1 Maybe honking bazongas is when we check in on my gender. Yeah, google thing.

Speaker 2 Beep, beep.

Speaker 2 The big truck and truck horn.

Speaker 1 Like a ship.

Speaker 2 The honking bazongas folkhorn.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Look, this is a very special municipal roundup as it was sent in by a friend of mine and Nova's, a colleague of mine and Nova's. Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 A colleague who works with us on a tabletop board game we're developing out of a really stupid bit. It is called Shadow Doge.
Yeah. It is a game of intrigue in early modern Venice.

Speaker 1 It is real.

Speaker 2 Soon you will be able to play it. But in order to make that happen, we do need some art.
If you are an artist and you want to

Speaker 2 design some Shadow Doge stuff, Hit my email, send me a portfolio or whatever. It's,

Speaker 2 what's my fucking email? I think it's like hi at NovemberKelly, but there's a period before the last L-Y. So try that.
If that doesn't work, try hello at NovemberKelly.

Speaker 1 We'll link it in the description.

Speaker 2 We won't. I won't remember the description.
Okay. Well, try both.
I will try to remember to link it in the description as the person who writes the descriptions.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 And if we don't do that and you're in the Patreon comments, just comment and we'll put it in. How about that? We're all working together.

Speaker 1 The three of us, plus the listeners, plus Sam.

Speaker 2 If it's not in the notes or in the Patreon comments and you see me on the street, remind me.

Speaker 2 By the way, a little sort of sub-sub-segment called Boomer Tech Update.

Speaker 2 I have the emails for that sent to forward to my email that I use most often, which still has my dead name.

Speaker 2 If anyone can work out how to like...

Speaker 2 send emails from one account such that they come out of another that's really

Speaker 2 good for you. Okay, perfect.
Thanks, Fud. We'll talk about that.
Are you using a Gmail client? Yeah. Oh, it's so easy.
It's in the setup.

Speaker 2 Because of the period LY thing, that's going to the Libyan ISP.

Speaker 2 So I have to log on to

Speaker 2 a Libyan website to check my webmail, which is obviously unacceptable to me.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah, no, I can't.
I would like to. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is really great radio.

Speaker 1 This is great content. Here's what we need to do.

Speaker 2 I also can't get the microwave in the new apartment work.

Speaker 2 I'm coming to the UK, hopefully, next year sometime. Yeah.

Speaker 2 so maybe I'll pop up to your apartment. I don't need a microwave before that.
I'll pop up to your apartment and I'll see what I can do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, look, here's the thing. Oh, Riley's here.

Speaker 1 Stephen Friedrich.

Speaker 1 Will it help if I resonate at the front of my mouth?

Speaker 2 I almost didn't recognize him with the voice. This is a free episode, by the way.
We are turning people off

Speaker 2 and mad. We'll cut huge swaths of this.
No. Okay.
Look, look, look, look.

Speaker 1 Steven Friedrich, the designer of Shadow Doge, has shared with us a story from his home state of Idaho, and I wanted to share it with all of you. Okay.

Speaker 1 So Steven, and by the way, also thank you to the listener who shared Kurt Skoog in

Speaker 1 our

Speaker 1 schedule.

Speaker 2 Wait, no.

Speaker 2 Sorry, that's a disaster that's just happened in my brain.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 So. This is Kevin Turner, the mayor of Butte, Idaho, not Butte, Montana.

Speaker 2 Not Butte, Idaho either, by the way. Upside.

Speaker 1 Town of population of 83.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 So this is from the article, and I won't share the title of the article because it contains the punchline by Caitlin Hart from EastIdahonews.com.

Speaker 1 So Mayor Kevin Turner, 63, was charged with misdemeanor, exhibition, or use of a deadly weapon, according to a release from the Butte County Sheriff's Office.

Speaker 1 Turner was appointed mayor of Butte City last year after former mayor Stephen Neal moved out of the area. I guess that stops you in Butte, not in New York.

Speaker 1 Turner had been a city councilman since 2012.

Speaker 1 Court documents said that the county sheriff's deputies were called to a council meeting after a report that multiple people were, quote, being threatened by the mayor with a gun.

Speaker 2 Oh, we've got an armed mayor, an armed and dangerous. This happens so much more often than you think it would, I feel.

Speaker 2 Like Fetterman

Speaker 2 did this. The guy the other week did this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it's because no one looks at mayors in general and no one can see the pattern.

Speaker 2 Reaching for a mayor's service weapons.

Speaker 2 Nobody's frisking the mayor.

Speaker 1 So deputies arrived and spoke to a group of people outside the building who said that Turner was inside and had threatened them with a gun.

Speaker 2 So basically the mayor barricaded himself inside the council chamber.

Speaker 1 Deputies talked to Turner, who confirmed that he was armed, but denied that he had been, quote, waving a gun.

Speaker 2 Okay. Uh-huh.
Sure. I was just adjusting my gun.

Speaker 1 So Turner, well, here's what he was doing with it. Turner was then checked for weapons and asked whether he had taken out a gun.

Speaker 1 Turner replied that he didn't wave his gun around, but he had gotten it out and used it like a gavel to bang on the table.

Speaker 2 yes

Speaker 2 that is pissed he pistol whipped a table it's like

Speaker 2 that's the sort of thing if you do that you got to say like and that's prairie justice right you guys

Speaker 1 and idaho court is now in session i guess that's i guess that's mountain justice if you're in idaho yeah Deputies said it was later confirmed that Turner never took the gun out of the holster and that he, quote, held the barrel while banging the mag wall against the table.

Speaker 2 Turner told deputies he had like he took the whole holster out and then banged it, like held the barrel and like banged holster and gun off of the desk in order to be like, excuse me, excuse me, I have the talking gun.

Speaker 2 It's more, listen, that's more effective than the conch because you have a gun. Think about it.

Speaker 2 That's hard to argue with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't want to bring a knife to that particular conversation.

Speaker 2 I didn't. I wasn't waving the conch around.
It was in the whole conversation. You run a conch to a gunfight? It's very interesting because I'm holding the talking gun.

Speaker 1 Turner told deputies he did this to maintain order while, quote, firing city council member Stephen Avery.

Speaker 2 Sorry, correction. I said that while firing into city council member Stephen Avery.

Speaker 2 It's really good to be like, how do I de-escalate this tense personnel meeting?

Speaker 2 Just show everyone my gun. Yeah, I wasn't, guys, I wasn't banging my gun like a gavel.
I was proposing a toast.

Speaker 1 I was using my gun to tap the wall of this champagne club.

Speaker 2 I was hoping that the two council members would kiss while I did that.

Speaker 1 I was trying to, Your Honor, I was focusing a municipal kiss cam on the other members of the council for the

Speaker 1 city hall Jumbotron.

Speaker 2 I really hoped it would get our city to go viral like that one Coldplay concert. Yeah.
Wait, can I real quick aside? Sorry. This is a loosey-goosey episode and I have a lucy-goosey update, which is.

Speaker 2 I have a letter of recommendation, which is NBA League Pass, because it doesn't show commercials. It shows you Jumbotron feeds in between plays.

Speaker 2 So you just get to see the kiss cam of far faraway places. And then I was watching a game the other night.
I watched a guy juggle.

Speaker 2 I've just seen an image of the building that this maybe happened in, which is a kind of red brick like plains Fura bunker.

Speaker 2 This is troubling to me.

Speaker 1 It's a great place to barricade yourself.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's the Idaho. It's the Idaho Wolf's Den, it's called.
By the way, a restaurant in my neighborhood opened up called the Wolf's Den, and the owner seems to have no.

Speaker 2 You keep saying we have no knowledge of the Hitler's bunker. Pretty cool.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 the deputy said, it appears Erica Turner asked Kevin to calm down and worriedly yells Kevin when the firearm is introduced.

Speaker 1 Police reports said that at the end of the conversation, Turner can be heard.

Speaker 2 But that's not the firearm name at all. It's actually, I know, traditionally, they yell Kevin as you take out your gun.

Speaker 2 It's like four.

Speaker 2 May I introduce you to my firearm?

Speaker 1 May I introduce you to my firearm, Kevin? And then you say, oh, Kevin, so good to meet you. And then the gun says, we have met before, actually.

Speaker 2 That's why you have to say, so good to see you.

Speaker 1 So good to see you.

Speaker 1 So police reports said at the end of the confrontation, Tur can be heard saying, I can do whatever I want. I'm the mayor.

Speaker 2 Yee-haw.

Speaker 1 This was apparently in response also to being told, you can't fire Stephen Avery. He's an elected official.

Speaker 2 Well, I can fire into him. So this is a coup.
This is an armed coup that this man has perpetrated. This is the sort of thing.

Speaker 2 We're getting so close to like these sort of things are going to happen and mayors are going to start yelling, no gods, no mayors, like people used to yell world star when there were fights

Speaker 2 because they're going to want to get on the show. That's what's happening.

Speaker 1 Okay. If you see a municipal confrontation, please record it and yell no gods, no mayors.

Speaker 2 Yeah, please.

Speaker 1 I would love. That would be.
I look, I love the songs. I love the fan art.
I would love that most of all.

Speaker 1 So the other thing, so here's the thing uh east idaho news contacted the butte city clerk the sheriff's office everybody for a copy of the council meeting audio but has not been able to get it the current listed phone number for the city has been disconnected

Speaker 2 incredible

Speaker 1 so that was in the 15th of july on the 31st of july things got a little clearer multiple witnesses say that the butte city mayor pointed a gun at them during a city council meeting after they brought up issues about cyberbullying.

Speaker 2 Okay, it's about posts. It's all posts at the bottom of this.

Speaker 1 So, according to multiple witnesses at the meeting, attendees brought up concerns over a now-deleted Facebook page called Butte City Happenings, which was renamed Butte City Information, where they say rumors, bullying, and false accusations were running rampant among a community of 78 people.

Speaker 1 The page has been deleted.

Speaker 2 This is a beautiful microcosm of everything that's happening in America. If you're a hack, also, this is a town with 83 people in it.

Speaker 1 So, all but five people of this town were engaged in like a sort of Facebook argument.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 my brother in Christ, why were you on the Butte City Happenings Facebook page?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I won't see you on the Butte City Happenings Facebook page. I'll be at the bank.

Speaker 2 I'll be at the local. Which is also closed.
It's also closed.

Speaker 1 The teller of which is distracted because they're on Butte City Happenings.

Speaker 1 We went into there to solve the problem, and the mayor caused one, said Butte City local Cherie Burgoyne. I just pray we get our community back.

Speaker 1 Multiple locals have told EastIdahonews.com that the Facebook pages run by the mayor's wife, Erica Turner, quickly became a gossip column and some citizens were banned from the page.

Speaker 1 Locals say Erica is also the city's clerk, secretary, and treasurer, and I guess Facebook moderator.

Speaker 2 Just being a kind of Borgia princess for a city of 83 people is... What a beautiful dream.

Speaker 1 Burgoyne said she brought up this conflict of interest at a meeting, and that's what prompted Turner to pull his gun out of his pocket and wave it while it was still in the holster before banging it.

Speaker 1 So it was in the holster, but in his pocket.

Speaker 2 Oh, doing pocket carry, real fud shit. Fantastic.
He told me. What gun do we think this was? And why do I know it's a revolver?

Speaker 1 I actually do know what gun it was. I just didn't.

Speaker 1 I didn't.

Speaker 2 I should have.

Speaker 1 I should have known that you'd want to know.

Speaker 2 It's either a revolver or it's a Smith Wesson MP. Like that, those are the

Speaker 2 two options. It would be really cool if he was keeping a long gun in a holster in his pocket.

Speaker 2 He could be a 45, he could be a 45 guy. He could be a 1911 guy.

Speaker 1 Hang on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sorry. I need to know.

Speaker 2 Oh, it was a high point.

Speaker 2 He had a high point in 45 ACP with hollow points in it.

Speaker 2 Incredible. So he's firing hollow points at the city council.

Speaker 1 No, but can you please tell us what that means about him? Can you do some like gun physiognomy?

Speaker 2 Yeah, do gun phrenology. So a 45 is kind of the like chud caliber, and a high point is a cheap cheap and nasty brand of pistol

Speaker 2 that is

Speaker 2 notoriously, I would say, poorly manufactured. And

Speaker 2 like it's

Speaker 2 this is it's it's a weirdly cheap gun.

Speaker 2 Would you call it solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short? Is that what you called it? Just now? Yeah. Sure, why not?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So basically, he pulled out a gun.

Speaker 1 And if he'd fired it, it would have had like a 20% chance of just taking his hand off.

Speaker 2 Well, no, it's more like it's this giant kind of like lump. It's like cheap and like really like ugly.
And yeah, just straight,

Speaker 2 this gun will run you $170. That's not a lot of money.
No. No.
No, and it looks real ugly.

Speaker 2 That's only 34 subscriptions to the no-gazer Patreon.

Speaker 1 We can get so many of those guns.

Speaker 1 So when Cherie brought up the idea that it was a conflict of interest for Erica, the wife, to be in control of our funds, the mayor went ballistic,

Speaker 1 citing concern about the handling of a recent half a million dollar award from the Idaho Department of Environmental Quality for

Speaker 1 drinking water construction funding.

Speaker 2 I'll do a little bit more corruption. If you're handling half a million dollar contracts, what are you doing with a high point, dude? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm sick and tired of the trash talking, said Avery, before the gun was drawn. We've talked about this before, and that Facebook page needs to get deleted.

Speaker 2 And then he's like,

Speaker 2 I know what will resolve this argument. I don't have enough points in speech, but I do have a lot of points in gun.

Speaker 1 I can use gun on council member.

Speaker 2 Super effective.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 that was my roundup item. Thank you very much, Stephen.
And yes, call to action. If you are an artist and you'd like to do art for Shadow Doge, please contact November.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm actually handling the production side. So if you are a board game manufacturer in China, please contact me.

Speaker 2 You're going to get one email that's like, hey, we all love it here at the factory. I'll be handling the excited to play it side.
And if you want to play it at my house, give me a call. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 Look, that was Municipal Roundup. And let me say, no other time has passed since Municipal Roundup ended and this is beginning.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, without further ado, because I'm covering down, I guess, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 No, that's okay.

Speaker 2 I'm losing control of my life in so many ways at the same time right now.

Speaker 1 But what that meant is that I got to give myself the greatest gift of all.

Speaker 2 Speaking to the Meritaculus.

Speaker 1 I got to commune with the Meritaculus once again.

Speaker 2 Portuguese, as you do.

Speaker 1 And it said, maybe it's time for a little something for Riley, something Riley can enjoy.

Speaker 2 You sort of whispered to the Meritaculus bomb dia

Speaker 2 and it whispered back.

Speaker 1 So let's just say, I'm Volta esch Minhas Ashnieres, which is

Speaker 2 a night. If you say so, man.

Speaker 1 Which basically means back on my nonsense.

Speaker 1 So, our mayor today is Francisco Higuino Lopez Carniero, the former mayor or appointed governor of Luanda, Angola, for 20 months from January 2016 to late 2017.

Speaker 2 That's not a lot of months. No.
That's a little over a year and a half.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so what? Well, because what happened in September 2017 is

Speaker 1 Eduardo Dos Santos was no longer president of Angola.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I heard about this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And President Jaulore.

Speaker 2 In many ways their Cuomo.

Speaker 1 He kept calling Carniero Carmenier.

Speaker 2 How do you say white Bronco in Portuguese?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 that's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 It would be

Speaker 2 good, huh? It took me a second.

Speaker 1 Okay. So

Speaker 2 sorry, it's Bronco Bronco. Yeah, that was.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But unlike many of his other like dos Santos functionaries, Carniero would remain a parliamentarian and was therefore immune to prosecution. This will come up later.

Speaker 1 So Carnero was born in the town of Libolo in 1955.

Speaker 1 He fought in the Bush War and rose to the rank of general before acting as a senior negotiator representing the MPLA, which was forming the Ugandan government against UNITA,

Speaker 1 the CIA-backed right-wing militia supported by the South Africans.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay, sure. I'm kind of getting a sense of

Speaker 2 listening to the blowback season about this right now. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he earned the nickname 4x4 at this point because of his determination. I'm sure that's why he earned that nickname.

Speaker 2 You know what's crazy is that his last name already means ram in Portuguese and they couldn't use that.

Speaker 2 4x4 Carnero. Frankie Villain with a 4x4.
What is he?

Speaker 2 So it's the...

Speaker 1 What could he possibly have done?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 So. Angola, this little note about Angola and the generals.
With the end of the Civil War in 2002, what the national government did is they set aside funds for rebuilding, right?

Speaker 2 Because we yeah, this is like huge pass of money for the country that's been like completely devastated.

Speaker 2 And we're just going to trust all of these kind of former warlords and guerrillas to like, um, you know, administer this.

Speaker 1 Of course. Is it any wonder that the president's daughter is the richest woman in Africa, probably because of her good business sense?

Speaker 2 It's a good time to read all of those books that Ahmed al-Shara likes about institutions.

Speaker 1 So, the so-called, so this is basically this like peace dividend. It allowed people to amass these huge fortunes

Speaker 1 and,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 2 famously like reconstruction of a like sort of devastated post-war country is a hugely profitable business when you're doing it ethically, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, enormously. Cause you have to make sure that every single piece of rebar is accounted for and doesn't just disappear into like a beautiful property in Lisbon, essentially.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 1 So from 2002 onward, if you're friendly with Dos Santos and highly placed enough, well, this is from the publication Maca Angola.

Speaker 1 Dos Santos rewarded Carniero's loyalty by placing him positions from which he could reap handsome profits, first as governor of the province of Kwanza Zul, then as minister of public works for eight years, and then as governor of Kwando Cubango from 2012 to 2016, mayor of Luanda from 2016 to 2017.

Speaker 1 In between, he was appointed both the Central Committee and Politburo of the MPLA, elected to Angola's parliament.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I forgot that they're still like avowedly communist as well throughout all of this. This is just a weird kind of like post-colonial hangovers and nightmares.

Speaker 1 Carniero's personal fortune, by the way, is the fourth largest in Angola. Miguel and his daughter are, of course, Eduardo and his daughter are the two.
Great.

Speaker 2 I love communism. So all these people are really good at business.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
They have great business. Communist business.
Yeah. Of course.

Speaker 1 So as governor of Kwando Kubango, right? He was contracted to do shit tons of building, like millions and millions and millions of dollars worth of building.

Speaker 2 A A lot of shit to build. Like, again, the civil war.
You gotta, you gotta rebuild all the stuff. You gotta build a lot of mansions and listen.

Speaker 1 You had to build like five hospitals and so on. Like, like news, roads, social housing, schools, like a whole country's infrastructure needed to be built all at the same time.

Speaker 1 And what he did is he realized through a competitive tender process that through a crazy coincidence, his son-in-law, Nuno Miguel de Sousa Le Vietor, was the best, owned the best company to do all the work.

Speaker 2 Oh, I mean, here's the thing. Like, if you you know you raise your kids right to become the kind of best construction tender company in angola then uh it's not corrupt because you

Speaker 2 you know you just happen to that's a meritocracy

Speaker 2 i was the best general yeah

Speaker 2 i was gonna say his son has a lot of experience dealing with him

Speaker 2 He's got a good relationship with him, you know? That's really going to help. Is that not like, I just don't understand what the big deal is.
Like they already have, they already have a rapport.

Speaker 2 Why would you want to interrupt that with some stranger coming in? Yeah, like if when you're here, your family is good enough for Olive Garden. Why not for building hospitals? That's exactly right.

Speaker 1 So the Hospital Regionale de Mavinga received half a billion Kwanzas, but only foundation was work, only foundation work was completed before it was abandoned.

Speaker 1 15 social houses in Mavinga were promised. 200 total homes with 165 million Kwanzas paid.
Zero houses were built.

Speaker 2 I'm getting the sense that maybe there's a breakdown in the father-son relationship.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, because he keeps getting paid, but then I guess he's probably too intimidated by what his father will think, and he's got imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1 So if he starts to build, he could get criticized.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's difficult. I think it's important we all be sensitive to this.

Speaker 1 The Aerodrome was 188.3 million Kwanzas in payments. A municipal administration building, another 71.1 million Kwanzas.

Speaker 1 And that was just even for the study of the construction, but not even the study was completed. Others were just a banned by the company mid-construction.

Speaker 2 Just like we're going to pay you sort of like,

Speaker 2 you know, millions for some, some sort of CGI renders and some drawings. Have you done those? I've sent over the millions.
You've done those, right? Just to be clear, I have sent you the millions.

Speaker 1 So at least those, please. And by the way, you're talking about Kwanzas.
The total amount, I'm going to say half a billion, is like about $80 million.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's like this is a lot of money.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's that's like a very nice villa in Lisbon money, yes.

Speaker 1 So some buildings, however, did actually get built in that time.

Speaker 2 This is also from Maca Angola.

Speaker 2 What a beautiful legacy for a construction company is some of our buildings got built. Well, I see one of them.

Speaker 2 One of them here is there's a hospital in Menongo that they just abandoned mid-construction.

Speaker 1 You have ADHD.

Speaker 2 That one's

Speaker 2 true.

Speaker 2 You know how sometimes like old-timey, they'd be like, you have to take the air. This is combining that and modern hospital.
So there are some rooms that are just open to the air.

Speaker 2 We thought that we were building it with the like some walls invisible bit like you need to play the sims. Yeah.
And then it turned out that actually we just forgot to do two of the walls. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like you know how after the what is it, the Spanish flu outbreak in 1917 or whatever, like they started redesigning hospitals to allow more air in, to like have bigger windows.

Speaker 2 So this is just continuing that proud tradition. I don't see what the big deal is.

Speaker 1 So I will say some buildings did get completed in that time. I'll give you an example as again, given by Maka Maka Ngola.

Speaker 1 So a Namibian construction company's directors say they were tricked by General Carniero into building his private hunting lodge with state funds earmarked for public works.

Speaker 2 Why does your hunting lodge look like it's made out of hospital parts?

Speaker 2 Why do you have an MRI machine mounted on your wall?

Speaker 1 Look, anyone can shoot big game. I surgically implant a bullet into the big game's brain, and then I turn on the MRI machine and I shoot it it in reverse.

Speaker 2 Just a big plaque and a photo with you like standing with one foot on top of like a CT scanner with a bullet hole through it.

Speaker 1 So they say the general obscured his own part in the scam by using intermediaries.

Speaker 1 The intermediaries in this case were the driver for a local clerk and the local clerk.

Speaker 2 So those two guys commissioned like a fucking $5 million hunting lodge. Just like, yeah, I want to build the mayor a hunting lodge.

Speaker 2 And crucially, you have to do it using these parts of hospital, these two walls of hospital.

Speaker 2 But I have nothing to do with the general, though.

Speaker 1 At all. No, no, we're not, we don't have any, any relationship.
We're just, look, we're hunting enthusiasts and we've saved up. We didn't get avocado or lattes or anything.

Speaker 1 And now we have this hunting lodge.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Listen, I like to sleep at a, at a 90-degree angle.
And if you want me to do that in any bed that is in a hospital bed, I'd like to see it.

Speaker 2 So at the governor's request, so basically the company was like look we were told that we had to build this hunting lodge and we were tricked uh the 30 bedroom hunting lodge to be fair there is a lucophone man who i would believe got a sort of hospital bed corruption uh lodge for for those reasons accidentally and it is bolsonaro

Speaker 2 yeah he does need the hospital hunting lodge

Speaker 2 hold on riley did you say 30 bedroom hunting lodge yes i did that's a hotel. That's not.

Speaker 2 You say hunting lodge. I'm like, oh, that's like a cute little cabin, you know, maybe with, it could fit one to two MRI machines in it, maybe.

Speaker 2 But you're talking about you could fit 30, 40 hunting MRI machines in a 30-bedroom hunting lodge.

Speaker 1 Matty, you're describing a hospital.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, that's the whole point, isn't it? Yeah, all of these hunters are wearing like white coats so the deer can't see them.

Speaker 2 So the other thing here is I assume this bespeaks like very ethical hunting, right?

Speaker 2 These aren't like this isn't the kind of thing where it's like a bunch of guys go out in the helicopter and like machine gun lions to death, right?

Speaker 1 Like it's oh, I'm certain. I'm certain that's not what's happening.

Speaker 1 So another of the partners in the construction firm that was tricked into building this thing, I'll call Ramos Talaya, said General Carnero personally asked Walter Pinto to use the public money to prioritize work on the lodge and that he, the general, would just personally reimburse the government afterwards.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm good for it, Your Honor. Don't worry.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The The government's going to front me the lodge money.

Speaker 2 One, one wall of this hospital is an IOU. Yeah.
Actually, if you give me the money,

Speaker 2 you'll have a memorial plaque in the entranceway to my hunting lodge. Maybe a bench.

Speaker 1 Hey, here's the thing. I'm a general, and I'm going to do you a plaque in my hunting lodge.

Speaker 2 Do you want it to be honoring you or memorializing you? You can choose. We're going to CT scan your wallets.

Speaker 1 They said you couldn't say no to the governor unless you wanted to lose other contracts and create problems with the Angolan authorities.

Speaker 2 I don't think that guy's a real wallet radiologist. So

Speaker 1 in 2014, Carniero brought a delegation, including family members, to inspect the lodge.

Speaker 1 During the visit, the company said, we pressed him for the long overdue payments and the reimbursement of the public works monies. He told us we should finish the work.

Speaker 1 Only then would we get the money. Only then would he reimburse the government?

Speaker 2 It's a sort of complicated series of payments that have to happen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The BGN says, this company said, that Carnero only ever paid $160,000 versus the over $2 million total construction cost.

Speaker 2 Fuck. That's yeah,

Speaker 2 that's very little money to get a sort of hunting hospital out of. I hate hunting hospital.

Speaker 2 Like every time they do a surgery, like take some of your blood and like smear it on the youngest surgeon, you know, it's just like really...

Speaker 2 What we've done, girls, is we've reconstructed from First Principles a far side comic that already exists. Where it's the horse hospital and well, the doctor's the rifle slung over their shoulders.

Speaker 1 Before being moved to Luanda by the new president, his last act, and again, this is Maka Angola has done amazing reporting on this.

Speaker 2 He's not even mayor yet. This is what he was doing when he was just like his sort of governor of a rural province.

Speaker 1 According to documentation, the provincial government of Kwandu Kubango on his like last day as mayor and paid a total of 71.1 million Kwanzas. to

Speaker 1 that construction company. And then there was only one public announcement of this construction that was was made by Carniero immediately before stepping down.

Speaker 1 So it's like he just kept, he was like, oh, and the last thing I do is my son gets another 70 million Kwanzas. Goodbye.

Speaker 2 Bye-bye. Good.

Speaker 1 It was like one last asset strip of the province before he fucked off to go plunder Luanda. I want to pause to talk about how rich he is and what he owns.
He has investments abroad.

Speaker 1 He has companies in Brazil, Sao Tomé and Príncipe, Angola, Portugal.

Speaker 2 Yeah, much like you, he sticks to the Lucifer. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like he look, he's, he knows, he knows where his, his, um, where his pow is buttered.

Speaker 2 He knows where his pow is Mantiquill. Sure, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 That's Spanish. I don't know what butter is in Portuguese.

Speaker 2 Having to learn conversational Portuguese in order to construct an elaborate series of bets, because it may someday come up that I have to say, know which side your bread is buttered in Portuguese.

Speaker 1 So, according to the press, he also had stakes in the Ritz. He had stakes in like several banks, a Brazilian airline.

Speaker 1 He also owned the soccer team from his

Speaker 1 town. And he also owned.

Speaker 2 Are they any good?

Speaker 1 Well, they won four titles.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Do you think the others are like, you know, have sort of, they're sort of like the Klubamerica of Angola, where it's like, oh, this is the like rich people club, you know?

Speaker 2 It's like they're playing in top hats.

Speaker 1 They have like footballers from Angola, but also from like Portugal, France.

Speaker 1 Their coach is Brazilian.

Speaker 2 They're a good team.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just doing some

Speaker 2 Saudi level sort of

Speaker 2 talent hunting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So anyway, and then he also

Speaker 1 joined a Brazilian children's book entrepreneur named Gleason Gambogi.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I see that, but what's the source for that?

Speaker 2 Where did you get that information, Ryan?

Speaker 1 From Lil Pasta Pasta News.

Speaker 2 I'm reading, Babe, can you come back later? I'm reading Lil Pasta News about Gleason Gambogi. I read about the Gambogi crime family.

Speaker 2 Curtis Slewer is like, yeah, they tried to throw me

Speaker 2 out of an Embraer plane over Vangola once.

Speaker 1 Like, the thing is, a lot of the information about this has to be gotten from like blogs.

Speaker 1 Like Lil pasta news yeah like little pasta news why am i saying pasta you've infected me with some sort of canadian disease and here we say little little pasta and where i come from so he also owns a winery called fetu m angola this is from a blog called journal eight which again is literally just a blog spot site and this is translated thus general carniero not only prepared to be minister and governor of kwando cubango but in the interval of the wars he amassed what was necessary to in this case own the so-called rancho de santa maria and to to produce made in Angola wine.

Speaker 1 In this case, the 2013 is an alcohol content of 15%, which it makes sense because Angola is quite hot.

Speaker 1 It raged in French and American oak barrels for a year and is fruity with notes of raspberry, blackberries, and spices.

Speaker 2 Is it,

Speaker 2 I mean, is it good?

Speaker 1 Almost certainly not.

Speaker 2 Riley, I think you need to acquire a bottle. Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you kind of want to source a bottle anyway? The most unethical wine you can find? I think you should get a bottle and drink it on air. Oh, the whole bottle? On air?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, over the course of an episode, sure.

Speaker 2 No glass. Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 Strapedo a bottle of Feta and Angola wine. Great.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, in the text and the bottle label, Carniero recognizes that it was his dream for himself and his family to produce quality wine in Angola.

Speaker 2 Oh, so like this is his like dictative vanity. Yes, 100%.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. He's a wine guy.
We found his thing. Fantastic.
He's just like, I can't believe you found a lucifone wine guy.

Speaker 1 He says, I hope you have as much pleasure in drinking it as we had in producing it.

Speaker 2 Do you think the wine was like shadow doge for him, where it like it started as a bit and then very, very quickly just became something that he really put his heart and soul into?

Speaker 1 So wait, someone in like the Unita negotiating team in like the 1990s was just like lording it over him at like a negotiation at the UN in New York. And he was like, fuck off.

Speaker 2 I'll show you. I'm going to, I'm going to make a winery.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He just like getting in some kind of like wine expert to genuinely try and produce a seriously good wine, not as a joke.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he goes on, like, he seizes the local means of communication to be like, we need an artist for the bottle label.

Speaker 2 I'm turning into tuning into Radio Luanda, and it's just like, email me at, I think my email is

Speaker 2 general at MPLS, MPLA.an.

Speaker 1 So he's made governor of Luanda in 2016 as the Dos Santos regime is like teetering, largely because oil prices are in free fall, the Kwanzaa is down like 35%, and things in the capital are absolutely falling to pieces.

Speaker 1 Like Luanda has a globally recognized garbage crisis from 2015 onwards.

Speaker 2 Wait, this is confusing to me considering it's being run by all these business geniuses who are also communists.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you would hate to have your garbage crisis be like internationally recognized.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like the Guinness World Records Observer is here to look at our garbage. Doing sewer socialism so bad that the garbage crisis is international news.
Yeah, the undemocratic socialists of Angola.

Speaker 1 So Angola's government basically

Speaker 2 was like, all right, fuck it.

Speaker 1 We need... And also, like, this election's coming up.
We need one of the generals to be in charge of Luanda.

Speaker 1 And so Carniero comes in and his first move is to announce the creation of an urban command post to fight the trash crisis.

Speaker 2 Bring me the wine guy to source out this trash.

Speaker 1 Bring me General Sauvignon Blanc.

Speaker 2 He's literally gonna clean up the streets.

Speaker 1 But also, Luanda was very important in the run-up to an election because that's like where everything happens. And you're not elected governor of Luanda, you're appointed governor of Luanda.

Speaker 1 So they don't, you, the city doesn't vote for you.

Speaker 1 He says, We feed field complaints every day in the most varied fields, and to talk about them, we have to know them, why they exist and why people complain and what's missing from us.

Speaker 1 However, he then said, Power is not on the street, which I took to mean like I will do what I have to do. You cannot stop me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just, again, the kind of communiques on the radio are like, do not throw trash in the street or you'll be killed. If anyone knows anything about how to design a wine label, please,

Speaker 2 please.

Speaker 1 Just guess what my email might be.

Speaker 2 So just do a little bit of light cyber stalking and find my email and email me.

Speaker 1 So basically, he also has this master plan, which was crazily enough, he decided was going to be delivered by a company called Urbinvest, the company owned by Isabel Dos Santos.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, we know Isabel dos Santos. Yeah, and they know each other,

Speaker 1 which is cool.

Speaker 1 They say the businesswoman prefers to have a figure of trust by her side.

Speaker 1 And on top of that emanates the image of a ruthless military man who is not afraid and who, and when he advances to the ground is to realize his intentions, a bulldozer.

Speaker 1 Anyway, he spends huge amounts of money solving the garbage crisis, cracks down on street vending. Mayors hate street vending.
He says we have to normalize.

Speaker 2 So it's supposed to be like, if you had to explain what a mayor is, it's the guy who cracks down on street vending. You know, the purpose of a mayoralty is what it does.

Speaker 1 We have to normalize trade.

Speaker 1 We all know about the existence of the official markets, but they insist on selling on the roadside and all the street. Those who sell must ask for authorization.

Speaker 1 And of course, he also does a little classic corruption. For example, in 2016 and 17, as provincial governor of Wanda.

Speaker 2 Why is the city council buying so much wine?

Speaker 2 How come it...

Speaker 2 I don't remember this cellar being full of barrels.

Speaker 1 How come it's now mandatory for Luandan elementary schools to serve wine with school lunches?

Speaker 1 But he also intervened personally to, like, again, enrich his son-in-law again.

Speaker 2 Dude, this guy's son-in-law is doing so well out of his marriage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like this, it is, this is the most profitable marriage. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, like, he would just sign deeds of concession, just handing over huge amounts of the city that might not be officially owned by anyone, be like, okay, my son-in-law owns this now.

Speaker 1 My son-in-law owns this now. My son-in-law owns this market.
And he gets the money out of the country. And I don't know if, are either of you familiar with Yves Bouvier?

Speaker 2 Marcitis' mother? No.

Speaker 2 So Eve Bouvier is most famous for Eve with a Y,

Speaker 2 like a boy Eve. Okay.
So

Speaker 1 he is like a sort of Swiss master criminal.

Speaker 2 Okay, now we're into the realm of the

Speaker 2 guy from the realm of the Hitman Elusians. I was going gonna say he's the villain from Oceans 12.

Speaker 1 So like he was

Speaker 1 there was this thing called the Bouvier affair. And by the way, like this is so huge, like like Carniero doesn't even mention in it.

Speaker 2 It's like they're connected, but like he's like a bit player to Bouvier, who is like the major like international fixer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it's like he's he's a Swiss businessman.
He's an art dealer. And like he's...

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no one dealing in art could be corrupt.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, yeah, like he's um, he's like got lots of offshore companies, like revealed by the Panama papers. Like, he's he was accused of helping, um,

Speaker 1 like he was accused of helping and defrauding lots of Russian oligarchs get their money out of the country.

Speaker 2 He looks like Stellan Skarsgård playing a corrupt guy. He really, truly, I love that he is the he is the owner of a company specialized in quote moving and storing goods.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 very specific. Are we, are we, are we sure that this isn't the guy from Tenet?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 1 basically, yeah, he's collaborating.

Speaker 2 But instead of being traumatized by growing up in the Soviet Union, he's traumatized by growing up in Geneva.

Speaker 2 So boring.

Speaker 1 So yeah, this is like Carniero is linked to this guy to help him get money out of the country, or he just buys stuff in the country.

Speaker 2 I'm traumatized by growing up in Geneva.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so he stays very powerful and influential, unlike a lot of the other corruptos Santos minions who start going to jail after 2017.

Speaker 1 He stays in government largely because it's believed he helped finance Hao Lorenzo's campaign, but that's like a rumor.

Speaker 1 In 2019, he gives out Angola's fourth telecom license to a company called Telstar, which has total assets of like $500.

Speaker 1 This, of course, finally leads him to be charged with fraud.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, they remember that you can investigate your political enemies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Conero was accused of mismanagement as governor

Speaker 1 of both the province of both the in so I take that again. again he was accused of mismanagement in basically all of his governorships

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 1 that he had 80 million euros that were sort of unaccounted for just just on the expense account as well so

Speaker 1 on the on on the subject of Carniero quoted by the Portuguese press he said I have no time to justify myself yeah I mean he's probably pretty busy with all the criminal investigations so in 2022 he's cleared of all wrongdoing by the Supreme Court which is odd because in 2020 and 2021,

Speaker 1 the case was just sort of proceeding. Proceeding is normal.
But then the Supreme Court president, Joel Leonardo, who is not the judge of the case, he was just the Supreme Court president,

Speaker 1 personally

Speaker 2 busts into the courtroom and is like, this guy's holding the speaking gun, actually.

Speaker 2 So he personally. He's actually holding this court in contempt of my court.
Yeah, I'm bigger.

Speaker 1 My court actually is made of metal and has lasers.

Speaker 2 My court's both Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Hey, Your Honor, you should be addressing me as Your Honor.

Speaker 2 Actually, I'm the Your Honor.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not anymore.
You're not.

Speaker 1 So he basically, because Carniero had all his accounts frozen, he was prohibited from leaving the country and all this because they were like, hey, you're obviously a huge crook.

Speaker 1 We should probably prosecute you.

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 1 yeah, Joel Leonardo was like, oh, yeah, we're buddies. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just think male friendship is so important. I I mean, it's once again, the theme of this show, if anything, is it's always, is it illegal to have friends, your honor?

Speaker 2 So, uh, is it illegal to have a son-in-law?

Speaker 1 Is it illegal to want to just like to love my family? Yeah. I guess.

Speaker 2 Is it, yeah, is it illegal to love my family? Is it illegal to love my wife's husband like my own son?

Speaker 2 My wife's husband.

Speaker 1 In my case, he says, justice was done. I was exonerated for a lack of evidence.
There were complaints, but they made no sense. And he says this like from a Lamborghini.

Speaker 2 Good.

Speaker 1 So at 2024 to 2025, he's still panicking because like the

Speaker 1 like he has some power in the courts. He's still, but he needs legislative immunity or like the government can just bring charges against him.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He doesn't have dos Santos to protect him anymore.

Speaker 1 What does he do? He does what any good corrupt politician does. He hires a CIA agent to run cover for him, which is really funny because it's like, hey.

Speaker 2 Yeah, considering what the CIA was up to with him 20 years previous. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just like, well, well, well, look who's come crawling back.

Speaker 1 You know, it's a bit like Al Shira and Petraeus like doing the fucking Concordia summit together.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at us. You know, 20 years ago, who would have thought this is? Yeah.
Classic enemies to lovers arc. That's true.
That is true. And maybe they can bond over the over the wine.

Speaker 2 Again, you know, it's like the CIA guy like snubs him about the wine. 20 years later, he finds out that secretly he's been running a winery the whole time just to get good at wine.
That's simmering.

Speaker 2 That's good. That's like, there's

Speaker 2 something there.

Speaker 1 Okay, if you write fanfic, can you please write a fanfic?

Speaker 2 I was going to say, someone wrote a Yuri about these guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 About Carniero and CIA agent Dale Britt Bendler.

Speaker 2 Isn't that the guy from Bones?

Speaker 2 Bones, take this bone to bone storage. And then Dr.
Temperance Brennan is mysteriously hugely enriched by the bone storage contract. Take this wine to wine storage.
Wine, take this.

Speaker 2 I would love to watch Wines, the version of Bones that's just about

Speaker 2 a criminal monologist.

Speaker 2 And her name is Wine because she also loves to wine.

Speaker 1 You see the body slumped over like a plate of food or whatever. It's like Wines mostly solves restaurant crime.

Speaker 2 And it's like, and just

Speaker 1 picks up the glass, smells it, and it's just like, this wine has been, this wine was opened after the body, after

Speaker 1 the time of death.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Looking at a dead body and being like, that was a Viognier.

Speaker 2 You know how Bones has to do a historical one every so often where they find pyro treasure or they solve the murder of JFK. Yes.

Speaker 2 This one, winds would go back to like solve the murder of the Duke of Clarence.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 it's the guy who drowned, who was like drowned in a butt of wine.

Speaker 1 So Dale Britt Bendler, the embattled former chief of the CIA's Paris station.

Speaker 2 Oh, I was thinking of Greton Goobler or whatever is what I was thinking. Anyway, that's why I got there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Matthew Gray Goobler, embattled former chief of the CIA's Pariston.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's Criminal Minds, and you know it.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Sorry.
I'm confusing all my Boney Island Whitefish things. Criminal Minds is the one with the guy from the Princess Bride and the

Speaker 2 incredibly ruined Twink.

Speaker 1 And Joe Montagna, of course.

Speaker 2 But they replaced the guy from the Princess Bride with Joe Montagna.

Speaker 2 We're so off topic. We're so far from where we're supposed to be.

Speaker 1 This is through a blog called All Source Intelligence.

Speaker 1 Talking about basically like blogging

Speaker 2 I would love to have a blog called like all source intelligence that talks about like

Speaker 2 big parts. That's the dream job for me.
That's the dream job.

Speaker 1 Dale Britt Bendler, the embattled former chief of the CIA's Paris station, registered as a foreign agent too late because on April 23rd of this year, he pled guilty to acting as an unregistered foreign agent and to mishandling classified information.

Speaker 2 In the U.S.

Speaker 1 Correct, yes. Okay.
Recent foreign agent registrations from Bendler and his brother-in-law, Nilton Fernandez-Rosa, confirm Angola.

Speaker 2 So did he marry into Lucifer's corruption again?

Speaker 1 Yes, he literally did.

Speaker 2 Amazing.

Speaker 1 Effectively confirm Angola as the country of foreign principal one and the identity of foreign principal one as Carniero in public court filings.

Speaker 1 The country was first deduced in mid-May by the national security journalists Jack Murphy and Sean Naylor, drawing heavily from a three-hour live-streamed video interview, which Murphy conducted with Bendler on his popular podcast, The Team House, which I've showed you a clip on.

Speaker 2 This is the thing you sent us, and it looks like unproduced future season of OnCinema at the cinema.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the kind of

Speaker 2 operator slop thing where it's like three guys with no necks sitting around on like a sort of antiqued Chesterfields.

Speaker 1 They're all smoking cigars.

Speaker 1 They're very obviously drinking Lafreue. Specifically, it's like the smoky, difficult-to-drink whiskey.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'd like to draw everyone's attention to there's like a mini fridge behind them

Speaker 2 with a parody five guys magnet on it that says five eyes but on the actual mini fridge is a little tiffany lamp and a little dragon sculpture oh i'm trying to look at the bookshelf there's a oh sorry there's a portrait of batman behind them

Speaker 2 there's a portrait of tactical batman look look i have i have a real fondness for this kind of like tactical chud i i don't know there's there's something about it where i'm just like this is drag this is boy drag you are you are having

Speaker 2 You are, in fact, low speed high drag now in that you like sort of like performing this stuff and it makes you feel good and it gives you gender euphoria. And

Speaker 2 I don't know. I feel a kind of affection for it, even though it's mostly about Warcraft and wishing you could do more warcraft.

Speaker 2 Sorry, just real quick. They have the Sky Mall ass globe bar that opens up.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get the five eyes magnet because I think it's cute.

Speaker 1 So basically, what happens is Bendler goes on this podcast and accidentally confesses to what he's doing.

Speaker 2 They're calling it the greatest legal move in history.

Speaker 1 And so the Justice Department basically is alleged Bendler, and now he's been found guilty, I believe, was paid $20,000 a month to help mount a public relations campaign.

Speaker 1 for Carniero to rebut the embezzlement allegations and lobby the U.S.

Speaker 2 government and foreign officials.

Speaker 1 So he basically, drawing from Bendler's disclosures, that he married his Angolan wife, Sandra Rosa Bendler, around the same year as the same, around the time of his final year as station chief in, quote, a country in southern Africa in 1994.

Speaker 1 The journalists deduced that the embezzlement case was that of Fundo Sobrano di Angola, the sovereign wealth fund of Angola, and therefore involved.

Speaker 2 So prosecutors,

Speaker 2 I love to go on the podcast that just brings you sort of these guys

Speaker 2 and go, oh, yeah, by the way, when I was being an epic operator, one of the things I did was crimes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if you want to, if anyone wants to come onto this podcast and admit to crimes, we would love to have you. Eric Adams.

Speaker 2 We are the kind of podcast that positions ourselves to tell you about, to have Sebastian butchered, tell you about his insane 48-hour firefight with ISIS.

Speaker 2 And this podcast is, but on top of that, you also get the

Speaker 2 statements against interest. Yeah.
I, you know, I saw that Eric Adams

Speaker 2 hasn't come out yet as a recording, but did do an interview with Z-Way.

Speaker 2 And I am thinking, what if I reached out to him to come on the show? Yes. Yes.
I think I'm going to try.

Speaker 1 So this is all happening in 2025.

Speaker 1 The other thing that happened, this has happened this summer in 2025, is that Carniero has officially announced his candidacy for presidency with a 39-point manifesto of profound revitalization he said my decision is not based on an ambition on an agenda of ambition persecution or hatred of anybody my candidacy is a call for unity reunion and faith in the principles that brought us here what there he is there's carniero mr ran himself the four by four uh-huh cool i i fantastic the governor of luanda i what a cool guy thank you riley for bringing him to my attention no absolutely

Speaker 2 I'm thrilled by the guy. Unfortunately, I have been sort of like extremely distracted by all of these like tier one motherfuckers.
I like I say it's a compelling type of guy to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look, here's the thing. I knew to bring that in at the end because we were going to lose Nova as soon as soon as I was like, anyway, there are operator idiots who like incriminate themselves.

Speaker 2 He's like, hold on, I have to go watch this three-hour YouTube podcast.

Speaker 2 They have

Speaker 2 fascinating haircuts. They're like, they're like anti-Trump because they, because of the Epstein stuff, kind of.

Speaker 2 It's weird. Yeah, no.
Okay. Sorry, I'm going to go listen to their entire back catalogue and subscribe to their Patreon and find out whether or not they're good.
And then I'll report back next time.

Speaker 2 We're going to get an email from Nova. She's going to be.
From these guys? No, no.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get a bullet through the side of the head from these guys, is what we're going to get. No, you're going to email me and Riley and be like, I quit the show.

Speaker 2 I'm the third mic on the operator's slopcast now.

Speaker 2 The thing is, I would love that, is the problem. I would love to be their kind of pet

Speaker 2 civilian star.

Speaker 2 If you want to just maybe transition this show into being the operator slopcast, we can all get cigars. Yeah, well, I mean, I think you two would have to like operate first.

Speaker 2 So like, how, how old is too old and how podcaster is too podcaster physique to become a kind of special forces operator?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I was going to say, I'm starting it, I'm starting this Saturday, I'm starting a new decade on this, on this planet. And I'm thinking maybe

Speaker 2 I just operate moving forward. Maybe the way you kind of inaugurate it is you go down to the recruiting office and you're like, Navy SEALs, let's go right now.
Write it down.

Speaker 2 Don't even test me. I don't have to qualify.

Speaker 2 I just walk out. Yeah, I mean, the sad part is I'm in the best shape of my life.
So

Speaker 2 there you go. You know what you should do?

Speaker 1 You should walk into Navy SEALs headquarters, pick up a broom and just start sweeping.

Speaker 2 Just go down to Virginia Beach with your resume.

Speaker 2 Worst they can say is no. Yeah.
That's not the worst they can say, but it's the worst they can say. It's the worst they can say.
You never know.

Speaker 2 They might be looking for somebody to do, you know, maybe not operating, but you could maybe sort of go move diagonally, you know, go kind of laterally into operating from something else.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can tell them that I can move diagonally. I can jump over any other piece that's in the way along the diagonal.

Speaker 2 I'm just like, do you, do you, if you like, okay, military podcasting and then the podcasting gets you into the operating and then you can do the podcast about the operating. I think this works.

Speaker 2 I think it's a great plan moving forward. So I'll see you guys in a couple of months because I got to go do that.

Speaker 2 I look forward to the tattoos you're all going to get, the haircuts you're going to get.

Speaker 2 I don't have a lot of space for new tattoos, so I don't know where I'll be putting the horrible crypto-Nazi stuff.

Speaker 2 I'll have to find some. I maybe have to get some things removed because all my quality space is kind of taken up.
We're getting a cover-up, but the cover-up is the Nazi tattoo.

Speaker 2 Just like, I've got this normal tattoo, so I needed something really like dark lines to black it out. So I got this swastika.
I was going to say, I've got like, I've got this beautiful

Speaker 2 watercolor rhododendron that an artist I love did. And I think what I'm going to do is get a tot and cop over it.

Speaker 2 I didn't know you're going to politics as well. That's cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.

Speaker 1 Look, take us home. I think that's about the time we have for today.

Speaker 2 Riley, this is wonderful. I hope this guy becomes president of Angola.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 All right. Thank you, everybody, for listening to this more discursive episode of No Gods and No Mares.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Stay frosty out there. Is that like something like that?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That I wanted to say I prepared rapidly.

Speaker 2 A hero. A hero for our time, Rally, Quinn.
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you once again for covering for my not feel.

Speaker 2 Do they let you be in the special forces if fairly often you're like, I'm struggling to do work?

Speaker 2 Is that a thing they like?

Speaker 1 Maybe you can like call, you can be like, hey, time. You can do tea.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you think they have like a disability accommodation policy where it's like you know because of my adhd i get extra time assigned to do the missions i think so i think you have to ask the proctor while you're on the mission yeah yeah yeah just like can i do this assassination with like a laptop or something because it'd be a bit easier for me can it just be an open book an open book

Speaker 2 okay all right subscribe to the patreon be be oscar mike to the patreon no gods no mayors.com it's it's it's as silly as this is if not more subscribe to the mayoral benevolent deniable front organization that's right intelligence yeah subscribe to the the mayoral intelligence the canonical name is you you you pay into the mayoral benevolent fund and using that you can access the mayoral benevolent feed

Speaker 1 okay all right bye everybody thank you very much for listening and we'll see you on the premium episode next week bye-bye

Speaker 2 bye-bye