PREVIEW: George Garner

What the fuck is kitchen table poly?

Okay.

Okay.

So Breile, you're only on that table in your basement that's kind of wobbly.

We've leapfrogged.

We've leapfrogged him from like what is being transgender, which he still doesn't have a full like read on yet, all the way up to the next stage of that, which is what the fuck is kitchen table poly.

You're going into the 201 class without having passed the 101.

He's at like the he's at the child's uh polyamory museum and the placard on the wall just says, What is kitchen table poly?

with a question mark.

There's a diorama of a munch.

Yeah,

there's a diorama of a munch.

That's right.

Robert Munch?

Of Robert Munch.

Yeah.

Diorama of Robert Munch.

Wouldn't you get to join me and my and my various polyamory friends at the Edvard munch?

It's a screw.

No, this is horrible.

Oh no.

This is full of nerdy white women talking like ooky, spooky kittens.

I straight up don't want to tell you what kitchen table poly is.

That's fine.

You know what?

Honestly, I don't need to tell you.

You know how regular polyamory works, right?

There's no testing.

Barely.

I have poly friends, and I've kind of figured it out for like.

You know how you meet one of your poly friends and they're not kitchen table poly, so they're sitting around in a circle of chairs and they're eating turkey off the floor in the middle of it.

Imagine if there was tables in the center.

I feel like if you, if I canvassed all of the Polly people that I know, a couple of them would be like, yeah, that's what I'm into.

I'm into like eating off the floor or whatever.

I mean, I mean.

What is eating off the floor?

That's the next diorama over.

Wait, is that a term?

Yeah.

Did I just use a term?

I think we're going to, we should really start gaslighting Riley into thinking that there's terms he's never heard of.

Uh-huh.

Oh, you mean eating off the floor, Polly?

Yeah.

You're not familiar familiar with this?

Yeah, so there's kitchen table, Polly, eating off the floor, Polly.

Rolled up in a rug, partying.

There's balancing a plate on your knees to watch TV, Polly.

Oh, that's that's there's the TV tray, Polly.

That's TV tray.

Is the hungry man dinner, Polly?

That sounds like a voter demographic.

Like, um, like

Kathy Hochl needs to get upstate New York's kitchen

TV tray, Polly community if she wants to get a second term.

If you're anything, you're small plates poly.

You're the kind of poly where you get in a relationship with a new person and you say, okay, have you been here before?

Do you know how it works?

And they say no.

And you say, okay, so it's kind of like a tapa style small plates experience.

We recommend getting two to three things per person.

Yeah, as you, as you go down the sheet of paper with the list of names, as you swipe through field,

the farther you go, you need to order less of that.

You know, like at the top, the first people people you see, you want to get maybe four or five of those

because it's like very quick.

Yeah,

that's like olives and cod row, basically.

Like a whipped cod row.

Uh-huh.

I'm into small plates poly because it all kind of comes at once.

We see it all coming.

Yay, butterbee.

We see Rally at the party and he's on field swepting through, and it's just photos of olives.

Okay.

Yeah, just various women named olive.

I'm on the olive subsection of field looking at various of olives.

I didn't know you were a chaser.

Going back for more olives.

As a partnered monogamous person, that would be the perfect thing for me.

It's just like a version where it's just like, hey, it'll match you with dishes.

Oh, TM, copyright, copyright.

Because no one's ever tried to make Tinder for restaurants before.

I'm in a sort of kitchen table monogamy myself, which is what I call it when me and my wife have breakfast together.

Nice.

Isn't that nice?

That's very nice.

And then sometimes there's the dining room table monogamous and then the coffee table monogamous.

Yeah, I mean, dining room table, to me, denotes a sort of wealth, but I can't.

Yeah, well, if you're really bougie, what you would have is like garden table potting, you know, because you're outside.

You have a garden.

But you got to cover the garden table or it'll get like algae on it.

Yeah.

So I have to cover my polycule because it's raining.

Getting them all under the tarp.

All right.

All right.

Ushering eight people who are eating off the floor under a tarp.

Other olive.

Olive's partner, Olive Two.

Kalamata.

My girlfriend top a nod with an X.

Oh, I think she resigned from the Eric Adams administration.

Oh, Eric Adams is a.

Oh, I'm having a sense memory of Eric Adams.

What is this position that he holds in city government?

I don't think that's a good question.

But before you answer that, before you answer that, Massey, I want to ask you.

New York City, as a resident of new york city would you say that new york city is the city that you love that's i'd say it's the the city so nice they named it twice because i love it so much yeah you but you wouldn't in that situation say it's the city which new yorkers love that would be a bizarre insane thing to say we'll get back to that um

yeah so it is it is an episode of no gods no mayors i think this is a bonus as if you couldn't tell from the you're getting a preview of every episode once we've run out of mayors where it just kind of becomes like a kitchen table podcast and and we're just kind of like just bullshitting more than we already did yeah yeah we have so many more mayors like blue chip mayors to go i will open up the mayoral master list right now and we can see what we're at i've seen 93 mayors listed that's a decent number of mayors i mean some of these mayors are pretty obscure like i i think it's it's gonna take us a while before we get to like francisca giffy but like we'll get there.

My next mayoring episode, I've got an obscure one in the docket for myself because that's sort of like my niche I'm finding is strange little guys.

I don't want to give too much away here.

I don't want to give you too much of a peek behind the curtain at our mayors.

These mayors are our secret.

We're kitchen table mayors.

I do see in the notes section one of these, and I'm not going to spoil it.

I'm just going to say that

one of Matty's friends is listed in the thing as asking to come on for this mayor specifically due to, and this is listed as long-standing grudge.

This is the kind of like pitch that I make to you, right?

Is that if you have a long-standing grudge with a particular mayor, pitch us on that immediately.

I'm pretty certain the show accounts DMs are open.

So like,

go for it.

You know, tell us about that mayor you hate.

Yeah, because you know why your experience your lived experience of the mayor is going to be different from what we can glean from local news especially if it's not in english do you live in italy we want to hear about your mayor yeah do you live in viareggio tell us about the mayor of viareggio yeah after riley gets done asking a bunch of questions about barolo yeah um via reggio would be not quite barolo country multipulciano or something i i don't know i didn't

via reggio is a beach town baby

I would say also, yeah, this is a sort of, this is the first mayorless episode in terms of there's no mayor of the episode.

We are sort of in the no-gods, no mayors commune.

We've built a defensive barricade around the podcast.

Yeah, finally, we got rid of the last mayors.

I think we can call this episode after George Garner, the mayor of McColl, and then do

because that's like, yeah, and then we will like, we can talk about the episode.

I mean, practically what this is, is this is a mayoral roundup.

Yeah, this is municipal roundup.

It's something we've done on, well, there's your problem before when there's too much news, is we'll just do an oops all news episode.

In the same way, the municipal roundup has like expanded so rapidly that it's taken over an entire episode.

Yeah.

Yeah.