PREVIEW: Rob Ford, Part 2

In May 2013, U.S.

website Gawker reported that their journalists had seen a video apparently showing Robert Bruce Ford, Mayor of Toronto, smoking a substance from a crack cocaine pipe.

It's not illegal to smoke a number of substances from a crack cocaine pipe.

It's just a convenient way to smoke, for instance, your tobacco.

Yeah, I'm putting tobacco in my crack pipe.

Your like stage tobacco, the like herbal substitute that they use for actors.

You could smoke that out of a crack pipe.

I've emptied out a clove cigarette into a crack pipe.

I've got a sort of, I've deconstructed Jarum Black inside my crackpipe.

Now, we don't know what it was, but we later found out what it was.

It wasn't stage crack.

My crippling stage crack addiction.

It does nothing for me.

I'm sitting there completely normal afterwards, but I'm spending all my money on it.

I just want to look cool.

Yeah.

You free-based baking soda and nothing else.

Just baking soda.

My sinuses ruined.

But my fridge smells amazing.

The following day, two Toronto Star reporters wrote that they had also viewed the clip on a smartphone in the backseat of a car on the May 3rd and noted that they have no way to verify the authenticity, but it appears to show Ford in a well-lit room inhaling from what appears to be a glass crack pipe.

I, first of all, R.I.P.

Gorka, back when they were still allowed to like, you know, they flew too close to the sun by ousting Peter Thiel, but they were still, they brought down the mayor of Toronto.

Well, indeed.

And the other thing that's crazy about it is that the crack video was filmed on February 17th, 2013, around 8 p.m., which anyone in Ontario will know is Family Day weekend.

Sorry, what?

This is, this is like, I'm familiar with like our obvious sort of main public holidays, you know, like Mayamas, but like

Family Day, like to commemorate the concept of like a family.

what a corny country yeah what a corny country for babies i personally commemorate my family every weekend but go off i guess also family day weekend feels like such a uniquely canadian construction it's too whimsical it's a thing you would make up in like the parent trap seven to try and make your divorced parents get back together right is uh you know but you know you can't leave it's going to be Family Day weekend.

You know, there's the other thing.

It's a holiday they invented in 2008.

Fuck off.

Yeah.

That's too late to invent a holiday.

They're all done.

They're all taken now.

Simpsons love day ass stuff here.

But it's a day off.

It's a bank holiday.

Well, the banks have to see their families.

The economy could take a hit because everybody could get and like in 2006, like 2006, that's like a family guy weekend is what you're doing.

Like you're spending a lot of time watching family guy, you know?

Yeah, absolutely.

It's it's season like six at that point.

You know, it hadn't sort of gotten quite as racist yet.

You have the like chicken joke, you know?

Yeah, yeah, you got the chicken joke.

That's what Rob Ford could have been doing, but instead he was smoking crack.

He was smoking crack at 8 p.m.

on Family Day weekend, and that was just too much.

Like the idea that this is like particularly sacred ground to Canadians, right?

We have had decades of observed family days in Ontario.

Not decades.

You smoke crack?

You dare to smoke crack on this like, well, like six-year-old holiday?

We have had Family Day for more than half a decade here in Canada, and I'll be damned if this tradition will be besmurred

by use by the mayor smoking crack on our most sacred

holiday, Family Day.

I've only ever seen the Gary Marshall Family Day movie with every Canadian actor in it.

I always loved the National Lampoons Family Day Vacation, where Chevy Chase met that crack-smoking mayor in the fight basement.

This is just the mayor's jokes again.

Yeah, we're just doing it again.

Family, yeah, family day when you spend your day in your cursed Ontario McMansion basement, waiting for the subway to come with the clan guys.

Yeah, Michael Chicklis is jumping out at you, trying to like put you in a chokehold and stuff.

It's beautiful, you know?

It's just before you pass out in Michael Chicklis's arms, you just say, ah, Family Day gets comes around quicker every year.

I would love to pass out in Michael Chicklis's arms.

It's not even out of particularly strong affection for Michael Chicklis.

I would just love to pass out in somebody's arms.

We gotta get Chicklis.

We gotta get Chicklis on the show.

And we keep calling him Kicklis.

Yeah.

Yeah, Michael Kicklis.

Michael Kicklis.

The man who could not kick.

Do you want to talk about Rob Ford's crack videos or not?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, Riley.