S02 Ep10: Everything Everything Everything
Alyssa shares her memories of the abuse she endured, the experience of testifying against her biological mother, and the profound impact it had on her life. Despite the pain, she remains steadfast in her commitment to fight for those who are voiceless, even testifying before the Texas State Legislature in support of a bill that bears her name.
Alyssa opens up about her hopes and dreams for the future, revealing the strength and resilience she has found in her family. We also get an update on Brittany as Andrea shares some final thoughts for the season.
***
Follow host Andrea Dunlop on Instagram for behind-the-scenes photos: @andreadunlop
Buy Andrea’s books here.
To support the show, subscribe on Apple Podcasts or go to Patreon.com/NobodyShouldBelieveMe where you can listen to exclusive bonus content and access all episodes early and ad-free.
For more information and resources on Munchausen by Proxy, please visit MunchausenSupport.com
Download the APSAC's practice guidelines here.
***
Click here to view our sponsors. Remember that using our codes helps advertisers know you’re listening and helps us keep making the show!
Note: This episode contains sensitive content related to child abuse. Listener discretion is advised.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Listen and follow along
Transcript
True Story Media.
Nobody Should Believe Me is a production of Large Media.
That's L-A-R-J Media.
Before we begin, a quick warning that in this show we discuss child abuse and this content may be difficult for some listeners.
If you or anyone you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, please go to munchhausensupport.com to connect with professionals who can help.
If you'd like to support the show, subscribe on Apple Podcasts or join me on Patreon to listen to exclusive bonus content and get all episodes early and ad-free.
And as of right now, all of season two is available there to bench.
People believe their eyes.
That's something that actually is so central to this whole issue and to people that experience this: is that we do believe the people that we love when they're telling us
I'm Andrea Dunlop, and this is Nobody Should Believe Me.
If you just can't get enough of me in your ears, first of all, thank you.
I have a job because of you.
And secondly, did you know that I have a new audiobook out this year?
The Mother Next Door, which I co-authored with Detective Mike Weber, is available in all formats wherever books are sold.
It's a deep dive into three of Mike's most impactful Munchausen by proxy cases, and I think you'll love it.
Here's a sample.
When Susan logged in, what she discovered shocked her to the marrow of her bones.
Though the recent insurance records contained pages and pages of information about Sophia, there was nothing about Hope.
Susan dug deeper and looked back through years of records.
There wasn't a single entry about Hope's cancer treatment.
For eight years, the Butcher family had lived with a devastating fear that their beloved daughter and sister was battling terminal cancer.
For months, they'd been preparing for her death.
But in that moment, a new horror was dawning.
For nearly a decade, hope had been lying.
Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.
I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.
He's going the distance.
He was the highest paid TV star of all time.
When it started to change, it was quick.
He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.
Now, Charlie's sober.
He's going to tell you the truth.
How do I present this with any class?
I think we're past that, Charlie.
We're past that, yeah.
Somebody call action.
Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.
We've talked a lot about Alyssa Wayburn this season, and now I want you to meet her.
How hi!
I'm good.
This is Alyssa.
Hi, Alyssa.
Okay, give you a hug.
So nice to meet you.
Hi, Laura.
so nice to meet you, Jerry.
She and her mom, Laura, met up with us during a trip to Fort Worth.
Interviewing a teenager was definitely something new for me, but Alyssa made it really easy.
She instantly lit up the room with just all of this cheerful energy.
Yes, we got lost.
I was really honored that the Wayburns had put enough trust in me to talk to their daughter.
It's hard enough to talk about traumatic things you've been through when you're an adult, but for a kid, it's just a huge ask.
And so I brought a little gift with me to break the ice.
And then Alyssa, your mom told me that you like to doodle, so I brought these for you.
These are nice pens.
Let's take them.
Those are cool.
Are they like gel pens?
Yeah, like they're felt, felt nice, like on the top, but they also look like gel.
Nice.
Cool.
We were here to talk about some really difficult things, but it was also important to me to just get a sense of who Alyssa is now.
And that is a bright, resilient young woman who was starting her very first job later that day.
My older brothers, Caleb and Lucas, they work at Cece's and I'm going to work today.
You're going to work today?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Is this your
first day at the first job?
Okay.
What do they do at Cece's?
It's a pizza and like salad bar sort of thing.
Okay.
So sometimes salad.
What are you going to be doing at Cece's?
I could be busing and I could be washing dishes.
I could be doing one of those, but I really enjoy cooking.
I want to cook.
Do you think you want to do that maybe as a career, be a chef?
Maybe.
I mean,
it's come up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially whenever I was little and I was cooking with my Graham.
And I would just be like, hey, Graham, we should make a restaurant called Graham's Bakery or something like that.
And
I would like make up a pretend restaurant thing in the living room of her house and she would like be the customer and she would walk by and I would be like hey would you like some banana muffins
this moment is really sweet Alyssa is laughing and this is clearly a really happy memory and it's also poignant because as we remember from this case Alyssa was being starved by Brittany and here she is fantasizing about feeding other people.
It really reminds me also just this sort of ordinary story with her grandmother that all of these people who intervened didn't just save her life, they gave her back her childhood.
Alyssa is now a happy, healthy teenager who has lots of interests and friends.
She enjoys singing and she also enjoys playing basketball.
I've been playing in that, like, the actual sport, team basketball, since I was in second grade.
And yeah, it's just been fun.
And it's easier to reconnect, I guess, sometimes.
Like, and whenever we found out I could do basketball, then we just did it.
It was so fun.
And then I just made new friends and a whole team of friends and more than a team, actually, because their friends had friends.
And then
like a whole new community.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's just like, I guess for some people, sports are a way to connect.
And that's one of my ways too.
I asked Alyssa what she wants people to know about her.
I guess the one thing I would want people to know is that you can overcome anything.
I mean it's been tough because
everything,
everything, everything.
I guess it's just like hard to think about like what should you do with your life and sometimes and sometimes it's just hard to feel the right feelings sometimes, you know?
And sometimes you don't know what to do, what is right or what is wrong.
And it's just hard.
And you can overcome those feelings and you can overcome anything.
You can also overcome what people think of you or any of that because it doesn't matter what they think.
It matters what you think.
That's really good advice for everyone, I think.
What are some of the things that have helped you overcome what you've been through?
Because you are really an inspiration.
And so I'd love to know kind of what are some of those things that's helped you be the way that you are and has helped you move forward.
I think that one of the things it would be like all the boys, everyone with my dad, with my brothers, with my classmates, with everyone.
It's just hard to figure out how's the best ways to work with them, I guess.
And that's also how I also learned to work with people better.
Like it's best to learn how they work, how they think, and then put that plan into action to make it work.
I guess another thing would be me standing out for like myself, me watching, like me being independent, I guess.
Sometimes it's just sometimes I think I'm right and sometimes I am, but sometimes I'm not.
And it's hard because sometimes I'm not.
And whenever I'm not, I get very frustrated.
And
then
I just realized that like my parents or anyone, anyone in my family just can help me or they know what's right so they know what I can do or whatever.
Alyssa is healthy now, but this abuse left some permanent scars and we talked about that too.
People always think that I'm like way younger than I am because of how Brittany, she didn't nurture me properly and like didn't give me enough food and stuff like that.
So I didn't grow right and I wasn't tall or average height.
But then whenever I started to actually reach going into like first grade or any kinds of school, I would not be called out on, but I would just be like, everyone would ask me, how old are you?
How tall are you?
What's your name?
And stuff like that.
They would always just be like, are you super smart?
Or something like that.
Oh, did they think you were skipping grades?
Yeah.
And I was like,
okay, no, no.
But it's just size.
It doesn't matter what size you are.
And it's just hard for me to overcome that sometimes.
Most of the time, I just try to ignore it.
Sometimes I can't.
And sometimes it's just hard to.
And I just try to put it aside.
And I don't know.
It's just
the way people are.
And like some people will ask, why are you so short?
Or something like that.
And I'm like,
I'll tell you later.
Something like that.
And
it's just awkward sometimes.
Especially if, like, I'm in a whole crowd.
I'm like,
uh,
leave me alone, please.
What my family says all the time is: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
That's a really good policy.
You and your mom seem so close.
I can just watch the two of you together.
I'm like, this is the relationship that I want with my daughter.
Sometimes, sometimes.
Alyssa is so happy and sweet.
And sitting with her, it could be really easy to forget about these terrible things that happened to her when she was really little.
I wondered how much of any of it she remembered.
I still remember sometimes, like, sometimes vividly, sometimes my parents just told me, and I was like, oh yeah, I kind of remember that, or something like that.
But I guess, like, sometimes I try to just push them away because some of them are just dark, I I don't know, just dark memories, I guess.
What are some of the things that have helped you sort of process that?
I'm just kind of curious to know, like, how that,
yeah, like how you kind of reconcile those things.
Like, sometimes I would just be like asking God, why did he do this to me?
Why did he like pick me?
And sometimes I would think I'm the only one that ever went through it.
And then my mom would be like, no, you're not.
There are plenty who have done that.
I'm not done that, been through it.
And it's just hard to think that other people have been through it.
And I just hope that no one else has to go through it.
It's just tremendously terrible.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you said that actually, because that's something that everyone we've talked to has said to us, that they felt like they were the only one.
And for me, I, you know, I'm coming at it from a different vantage point.
In my case, it's my sister.
But I felt like I was the only person that had ever, you know, it's, it's not a, a lot of people have big bad things that happen to them, right?
And a lot of people go through trauma.
But at least if you're going through a kind of trauma that people can relate to and that they have some kind of context for, you don't have to sort of explain the whole thing.
I always have found that really hard, right?
That people don't have a framework, right?
If you have someone in your family dies of cancer or they, you know, get in a car accident, it's those are horrible, traumatic things.
But if you tell just someone that you just met about that, they're going to understand what you're talking about.
And with this,
I feel like people just are in sort of such disbelief, and it can make you feel really lonely and really isolated, right?
The thing is, I try not to isolate myself because, like, it's just, I don't know, I just like to talk to people about other things than that.
Sometimes I'll just like they'll ask me, so you're adopted, right?
Or something like that.
And I would say, oh, yeah, I was adopted, but I mean, I have eight brothers, okay?
Don't mess with me.
Even as a teenager, Alyssa is a force to be reckoned with, and she's working to help other kids who've gone through what she's gone through.
She told us about a recent trip to the Texas state legislature.
We were there to like make a law so that all the people who went through stuff like me or like you or any of that, the parents or whoever was lying would have to go to jail.
And I was excited at the time so that it would happen, but it hasn't happened yet.
And no one,
no one, I, I know, and I know people understand it, but people sometimes just don't.
They can't.
They don't realize that it's wrong and it happens.
So yeah.
Like I would try to tell everyone that I knew about it.
I would just be like, oh yeah, I'm making law.
Vote for it or something like that.
Not vote for it.
It's on the campaign.
Yes.
Yeah.
But I would just be like, I'm making law.
Just please know that this is real.
This happens.
And I would be like,
asking them to pray for me or something like that.
And they would.
And I'm glad that like it's gotten through here.
And we've went to the court two times already
and they haven't done anything about it so I hope that third time maybe what did you tell those lawmakers when you were in front of them I told them
what my
like what my story was what my case was
and then I would sit down and like what my name any of that then my mom or dad would speak and then it was just like the first time my mom would ask questions and whenever my mom asked questions I would answer them and try to answer them right.
But then the second time I did it on all by myself and I was about to cry because I prepared my speech and then like I was looking down and then at it and I felt like I was like I should have been looking at the people and then it's all crazy.
It was also emotional because of all that.
We actually have a clip of Alyssa making that speech in front of the Texas state legislature.
I think it's so important and it's so brave that Alyssa is willing to be a public face of this abuse.
One of the struggles in moving this issue forward is that the offenders in these cases often look like very sympathetic, crying mothers.
But people need to understand who is really getting hurt in these situations.
They need to see the victims.
If you could state your name.
Okay.
My name is Alyssa Weyburn and I am for this law.
And you represent yourself?
Yes.
Health isn't something you can lie about to anyone.
Why should we support abuse?
We shouldn't.
It's something that we shouldn't support.
Alyssa's law will make it where if a parent is found lying about the child's health, then they will be prosecuted.
I know what it's like to be lied about my health.
I could have died, but I'm not looking about what my past was.
I'm looking about my future of this law.
Brittany, my biological mother, abused me for three years.
And we're trying to make this law where kids, children won't have to be abused for years.
I remember being told to act like I was sick or unhealthy.
And then my doctor, he realized whenever Brittany wasn't in the room, I would be fine.
I want to act bad or sick.
And why shouldn't we save people?
Why shouldn't we save kids?
This law will make it where we can save kids.
The lawmakers in the courthouse were clearly impressed and moved by Alyssa's testimony.
You did a very fine job testifying.
You're so courageous and speaking up for all those who have been what you have been through.
I hope this is the last time that you have to come back up here to testify because I hope we can get this across the finish line.
I want you to know that your future is so bright.
Thank you.
I have no doubt that if you want to, you would have a seat up here one day.
So your future is only limited by yourself, and I see that you have no limitations.
So thank you so much for being here to share your real experiences because you are helping so many people that don't have a voice.
Alyssa's mother, Laura Weyburn, also testified that day.
She was understandably choked up hearing her daughter talk.
Well that was amazing.
Yes.
So proud of that little girl.
I'm Laura Weyburn.
I am Alyssa's mother.
Sometimes I have to say adoptive, but I am her mother.
I am for the bill.
I was a CPS investigator years and years ago before I was a mother.
I worked.
Laura went on to give very moving testimony about her experience both as a mother and someone who is familiar with the ins and outs of CPS.
I wanted to share an update about this bill.
This spring, Alyssa's bill finally made it out of committee on its third try, only to, very disappointingly, die on the floor of the state house.
But no one is giving up.
In addition to the Wayburns and Mike Weber, some other familiar voices from season one have testified in support of the bill, including George Honeycutt and Doug Welch.
Her support of this bill, however, was not the only time that Alyssa has testified in court.
I also went to court to put Brittany in jail.
And I remember it pretty vividly about how like I didn't really remember her.
I didn't really know her.
Whenever she was sitting there, I didn't even know that was her.
I was happy that I didn't know that, but I was also, I was seven at the time and I was like trembling in my seat and I was like right in the box up there all alone and the judge was asking me questions and I was like,
yep, that happened.
I remember that.
And my parents weren't allowed to be in there.
So, one of my teachers that was my favorite teacher in the world
went there, and some of my other family members did too.
And
whenever I came out, I was like
so shook.
And then my parents went in, and like a few minutes later, and I was just like, wait, I did that.
Wow.
I'm amazing.
We all agree.
Yes.
You are amazing.
Thank you.
You are amazing.
You are too.
Thank you.
You're so sweet.
September is here, and you know what that means.
Sowetaweather is coming.
If you've been listening to the show for a while, you know that I love Quince.
And if you know me in real life, you also know that I love Quince because even when I'm off the clock, I talk about this brand.
Quince has an amazing array of products from jewelry to footwear to bedding, but they are known for their sweaters.
Sweaters is where they shine.
I get so many compliments on my Quince cashmere sweaters.
I was wearing one once while I was actively buying a Quince gift card for my daughter's teacher, and the checkout person said, I've been wanting to try this brand.
I heard about them on a podcast.
And I was like, I'm wearing Quince.
I have a podcast.
You got to try Quince.
This is, by the way, a 100% true and fact-check story.
Quince is known for their famous cashmere.
They also have cotton and merino wool sweaters, cardigans, and dresses, all for a fraction of the price you'd pay for this quality anywhere else.
And don't even get me started on their beautiful coats.
They've got wool coats, dusters, capes, puffers, trenches, leather bombers, and embarrassment of riches.
Keep it classy and cozy this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince.
Go to quince.com slash believe for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash believe to get free shipping and 365-day returns.
quince.com slash believe.
And remember that shopping our sponsors is a great way to support the the show.
In these turbulent economic times, the last thing any of us need to worry about is unexpected fees and other nonsense from our banks, which is why I love QIIME.
QIIME understands that every dollar counts.
That's why when you set up direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free returns like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.
Something I love about QIIME is their 24-7 customer service.
Having a banking issue is extremely stressful, especially when you run a business.
And I want to talk to a person right now when I have one.
I also travel a lot for work these days.
And with QIIME, I have access to 47,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide.
47,000?
That's so many.
CHIME is banking done right.
Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees today.
Work on your financial goals through QIIME today.
Open an account at chime.com slash nobody.
That's chime.com slash nobody.
And remember that shopping our sponsors is a great way to support the show.
Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.
Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corporate Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA, members of FDIC.
Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply.
Timing depends on submission payment file.
Fees apply at Out of Network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs according to U.S.
News and World Report 2023.
Chime checking account required.
Do you remember the first thing you ever got paid to do as a kid?
Your first job?
Mine was weeding for my neighbors, for which I got paid $5 and a package of Oreos.
I was thrilled.
Now I weed my garden to relax, so times change.
With my daughter heading into first grade and growing up so fast that if I keep talking about this, I'm going to cry, we want to make sure that she's learning life skills in addition to what she's learning at school.
And we've been loving using Acorns Early with her.
Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.
You can use the in-app chores tracker to help them make the connection that money does not just come from mom, dad, and the tooth fairy.
And then kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, which is some real big kid business, if you ask my daughter.
And with Acorns early spending limits and real-time spend notifications, parents always stay in control.
Ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save, and spend?
Get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com backslash nobody or download the Acorns Early app.
That's one month free when you sign up at acornsearly.com backslash Nobody.
Acorns Early card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank, member FDIC, pursuant to license by MasterCard International.
Free trial for new subscribers only, subscription fees starting from $5 per month unless canceled.
Terms apply at acorns.com backslash early terms.
As we discussed on a previous episode, Brittany took a plea deal and she went to prison for five years.
She served every day of that five-year sentence.
She had been released by the time we did this interview.
And I wondered if Alyssa had had any contact with her since she'd been out.
I used to whenever I was little.
And I had to see her like every Sunday or Saturday or something like that.
And one day I was like, I don't want to do it anymore.
Stop.
I don't want to do it.
And I was very little and my parents were like, I know, I know.
So I had to see her.
And then I also had to see Chris, Brittany's boyfriend.
And I remember my dad was like very cautious around him because Chris, he he said he was going to pick me up and be my dad.
But he never did.
He never came.
He never did anything to help me.
And it's just hard to think that he lied.
And he said that he would sign the thing for me to get adopted.
And he never did that.
So we literally had to get it signed by the judge.
And yeah, it was just very stressful sometimes.
And I remember this one time where me and my mom called him and we had an RV.
So we went out to the RV so that we wouldn't get him interrupted.
And
we called him and I was like, I don't want to talk to him.
Talk to him for me, please, because I didn't want to, I don't know,
I just felt sometimes just a little bit scared of him, I guess.
Well, you didn't really have a relationship with him at all, right?
Except like we would once a month or so, I don't know, like once a year, we would see each other, something like that, and go to a mall or I don't know.
We didn't have a relationship.
I just, I just don't, didn't want to, I guess.
Even though I was little, I was just like, no,
yeah, yeah, yeah, again, I think you had your instincts were your instincts were on point there, I think.
And when you look kind of to the future, like, is there any point at which you think you would want to ask Brittany questions, or are you kind of that sort of a closed book in your mind?
Like, how do you, how do you feel about that?
I mean, we think that the only reason she did it was for selfishness and to get attention and stuff like like that.
So if she didn't, if she did, what was she going to say?
Up until now, Laura Wayburn had not chimed in and I was impressed as a fellow mom that she had been able to let Alyssa speak for herself despite how protective she must have been feeling.
But in this moment, she did chime in to remind Alyssa of something that happened.
I remember at one of your visits, you asked her why she did it.
You don't remember that?
You were, I think you were four.
You asked her.
wow i don't remember that and she just said she just kind of denied it you were really mad i would have been that sounds like me that sounds like me wow you said something like why did you do that to me and she said something like i wrote it down a long time ago i don't know exactly but she said something like what our i didn't meet or she acted you know she just kind of blew it off but the person that was watching your visit was right there and heard the whole thing i did not know that it sounds like something you would do though doesn't it
does
it really does
yeah it's a big spirit for a four-year-old
yeah
yeah that's amazing in your mind you're like you're good you don't need to have any more conversations with her i mean if she's gonna deny it no
then no
Yeah, I
would just do a closed book, I guess.
Did she ever take any accountability or apologize to you?
Or, I mean, obviously she took a plea deal, but I know that's not the same thing as taking responsibility.
I'm pretty.
Didn't she say something?
Like in the courtroom?
When she took the plea and that was all finishing and she had to go in front of the judge and the judge was...
doing all the things that the judge does.
The judge looked at her and said, are you pleading guilty because you are guilty?
And he may have said the rest of what I'm about to say, but the reason he said it was this.
I'm not sure if he said it, but he had to have her say she's pleading guilty because she is guilty.
And she said, yes, I heard her say it.
I was there.
And that's all that I know that she ever took responsibility.
Okay.
But that was.
Well, I mean, it's a closed case.
I mean, it's like an open, closed book case where she did something wrong.
Everyone knows it.
She has to say it and admit it.
I mean, if she's not going to
like, be held accountable, let her self be held accountable and say that she did it.
And we all know that she did.
I mean, what's the point?
I mean,
yeah, it's like, how do you move?
How do you move forward from that?
Yeah, we all know that she did it and that she's lying and or she's not being held accountable or trying not to be held accountable.
And I guess what I would say would be, don't let that get to you.
She, she lies, or she,
I'm trying to find the words.
She is
a bad person, I guess.
And even if she is your sister, you can turn your back on her, I guess, and say,
I can't be friends, or I can't help you anymore.
I can't do anything for you because you can't.
Yeah, I mean, thank you um and i think you know that's something that
you know i think a lot of survivors struggle with especially if they were really close to their mom all through their life and then they are having to reconcile figuring out what their mom had been doing their whole life and sort of struggle with like well they're my this person my mom or this person my family member like i have to have a relationship with them and i think you know and people
have to yeah you don't i didn't have to owe anything to Brittany.
I mean, she did something bad to me.
And if someone does something bad to you, then you shouldn't be held accountable for their actions.
You shouldn't live with regret.
You shouldn't do anything to put yourself on hold or any of that because you didn't do anything wrong.
And it's, it's just terrible how people think that sometimes.
I mean, not terrible.
It's just like hard to believe that people think that it's their fault.
Yeah, it's choices.
And I think that's something I always want people to understand is that it's a conscious choice.
They make, you know, someone like Brittany makes a choice and a series of choices.
And that's what's laid out in the evidence, right?
It's not a sort of moment of delusion or, you know, it's not.
Yeah, it's not like, it's not like you have a mental illness or any of that.
I mean, whenever I was littler, sometimes this thought comes up into my head, what if she had a mental illness or any of that?
And I'm like, no, that's not right.
i mean even if she had a mental illness she shouldn't be doing it to her child and one possibility i think would be that like me and my mom we think that we know that she had like a rough family or a very crazy family
and we know that her mom she like wasn't nice to her or something like that.
I mean, it could have been her trauma as a kid that brought her to do that.
But, I mean, even if you have trauma as a kid, it's not like I'm going to go and do the same thing to my children.
Exactly.
I mean, she, she might have had trauma as a kid.
I had trauma as a kid.
But that still doesn't make it right what you did.
Brittany will always be a part of Alyssa's past, but the abuse she endured does not define Alyssa.
And when talking about her current family, the Wayburns, it's clear that just like they felt about her, Alyssa feels like they were meant to be.
I actually knew mom and dad before they were my mom and dad.
Like we would see them at family events or any of that.
And then I was already
warmed up to them.
And I also knew my older brother Lucas.
So
yeah.
And I just remember playing with Lucas and coloring with him.
And then that was one of the things that brought me into the family, I guess, like great sibling rivalry.
I'm just kidding.
But I also take to people very
fast.
And sometimes that's not a good thing.
And sometimes it is.
And just, yeah.
But it's just, I'm glad.
I'm glad too.
And I think that's kind of the business of growing up and being human as fair can take a long time to figure out, you know, who you should trust and who you can't.
Yeah.
It's just
you should always be open to people, but you should always have an open heart to people, but not if you know that they're bad.
If like you feel that way and you're just like, I can't be friends with you, and you don't tell them that, then it could get bad or any of that.
But it's just hard to find out, I guess,
who and who isn't, right?
And that makes sense.
It's like open heart, but also trust your instincts, right?
Yeah.
Like survival skill.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
And in some ways, like maybe you're sort of more finely honed because of that.
We've talked a lot about the Wayburns and how wonderful they are.
And like any family, they have their own challenges.
And Alyssa told us about some of those.
Every family has struggles, but the one hard thing is staying like a family.
Like, whenever someone did something and you get mad at them, it's hard to forgive them sometimes, but I have that trouble a lot, especially with one of my older siblings.
And it's just very hard to forgive them, especially if they keep on doing it and doing it and doing it.
But family, you should always forgive.
Well, try to forgive.
It's just, you should try to forgive if it's worth forgiving.
My favorite thing be how understanding they are sometimes.
They try to understand.
And like a few months, like a few months ago, I guess, I had like not a mental breakdown, but like, why did she do this?
And all that.
And
my mom and dad were like, they just tried to understand and all that stuff because they don't know what it was, but they do their best to understand because no one knows exactly what happened.
Like, no one knows exactly what I went through or how I felt through it.
So, I guess,
unless you're me,
I guess it's just like they do their best to understand most of the time.
That's the best thing people around you can do, right?
Is just try and be there for you.
Yeah.
But, I mean, sometimes it's hard because, like, sometimes I just push them away or something like that because I want to be left alone and think about everything.
But yeah,
it's hard whenever you don't feel like anyone's there for you or like whenever you're, you just found out or you just got out of the situation.
You don't know where to go.
You don't know where to live.
You don't know anything.
And it's, I guess, hard to find anyone who can relate or try to relate or understand,
especially if you're still living with your family that did it to you.
So I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
As we were wrapping up the interview, I could see how proud Laura was of Alyssa and she chimed in.
It was very cool to be able to sit next to you with somebody else talking to you and just listen.
That was, Alyssa, you're, you're pretty awesome.
I mean, you know you are.
And it's not that I'm surprised.
We all agree.
It's not that I'm surprised that you're awesome.
It's just some of your answers were more maturely thought out than I knew that you had thought them out.
It was pretty cool, honey.
We did this interview with Alyssa over a year ago, and
she is still doing great.
She is 16.
She's learning to drive.
I've seen the Wayburns recently when I was down in Texas actually moderating a panel for this legislation that we talked about.
And something else big has happened.
Last April, we got the news that Brittany Phillips had died of an apparent overdose.
And obviously, I wanted to update you on that and just talk about
how that landed.
I was standing in my kitchen when I got the text message from Mike telling me about Brittany's death.
And my immediate feeling was relief.
I knew that the Wayburns and Mike, and certainly for myself, that we were all worried about the day when Alyssa would turn 18.
and Brittany would inevitably try to get back into her life.
And as much as Brittany didn't raise Alyssa and Alyssa doesn't have the same attachment to her that a lot of the survivors that I talk to have to their mothers because they were by and large raised by their mothers, I still have seen adult survivors dealing with how complicated that relationship is.
And I didn't want that for Alyssa.
I've loved these moments in talking to her in The Wayburns where we talk about her genuinely forgetting that the Weyburns were not her original parents.
And what I would most want for her is what I would most want for any survivor, which is to move forward.
I don't think there's a lot of opportunity to really have a healthy relationship with a parent that does this to you.
I think that what making this show over the last three years and being really immersed in this topic has brought home for me is how dangerous these women are.
And I was worried about Brittany.
Brittany is a couple years younger than me.
She was still young enough to have more children.
And I think I felt a tremendous sense of relief when I heard about her death because I know she can't hurt anyone else now.
And my second thought was, what a sad waste of a life to spend your life the way that she had.
I know that Alyssa and the Wayburns, they may have some kind of mixed feelings over that death, but for me, I'm relieved that Alyssa doesn't have to put additional emotional energy into trying to deal with that person coming back into her life.
Like Brittany, when we looked up her Facebook, her profile picture was a picture that we talked about in this podcast, which is her with Alyssa as a two-year-old wearing leg braces.
Brittany was still wrapping her identity around her being a mother of a sick child.
That is what that picture tells me.
So I think we can be absolutely sure that on Alyssa's 18th birthday, Brittany was going to be back trying to get into her life, right?
Because that's the obsession, that's the compulsion.
That's that huge part of their identity.
And so I'm glad that that's not going to happen.
I just want Alyssa to be able to go and live her life.
And if she wants to be an advocate for this, like she is now, if she wants to be a voice on this issue, then that is so wonderful and so appreciated.
And if she decides she doesn't, that's great too.
I just want her to like have her life and that's enough.
We did, while we were making this season of the show, we did reach out to Brittany to see if she wanted to talk to us and hadn't heard anything at the time of her death but I think it's really important to say that this is not Britney's story this is Alyssa's story and with that I want to let Alyssa have the final word this season and
here she is telling us her advice for her fellow survivors
so would you want those people to know that they're not alone
I mean everyone feels alone at some points in their life, like this person went through a car crash or
they don't know the trauma or no one knows the trauma, and it's just very hard to think you're not alone, especially whenever you feel all alone because you feel like no one else can relate.
But I'm pretty sure some people can relate.
One person at least can relate.
You just gotta find those people.
Gotta search the interweb.
Search the interweb.
Just google it.
Google it.
Nobody Should Believe Me is produced by Large Media.
Our music is by Johnny Nicholson and Joel Schupak.
Special thanks to our lead producer, Tina Noll, and our editor, Travis Clark.
Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.
When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre junk.
When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.
Oh, come on.
They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.
Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.
Whatever.
You were made to outdo your holidays.
We were made to help organize the competition.
Expedia made to travel.
Proposition 50 threatens what voters built.
California voters approved an independent commission that spent thousands of hours creating fair election districts where all people are represented.
Prop 50 destroys this good work.
Prop 50 is a direct attack on democracy, a dangerous idea that tears away the power of choice.
Protect your vote and democracy.
Vote no on Prop 50.
Add paid for by no on Prop 50, Protect Voters First, sponsored by Hold Politicians Accountable, Ad Committee's top funder, Charles Munger Jr.