S05 Ep03: Constant Crisis

Speaker 1 True Story Media

Speaker 1 Before we begin, a quick warning that in this show we discuss child abuse, and this content may be difficult for some listeners.

Speaker 1 If you or anyone you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, please go to munchhousensupport.com to connect with professionals who can help.

Speaker 1 With the elements of evangelical missionary work and transracial adoption in this season's case, I've gone into some unfamiliar territory.

Speaker 1 But one thing about this story that feels very familiar is the way that Sophie Hartman appears to forever be in some kind of crisis. She seemed to move from one big drama to the next.

Speaker 1 This was one of the primary things we heard from the numerous folks we spoke to on background for this story.

Speaker 1 Whether it was people who knew Sophie in high school or over the last few years here in Seattle, they told us there always seemed to be something, whether it was Sophie's own health issues or dramas, this big adoption saga, or something having to do with one of her daughters.

Speaker 1 Sophie was constantly mired in some kind of battle. And this is something I remember so vividly with my sister Megan, her constant dramas and our attempts to explain them away.

Speaker 1 So yes, okay, Megan shaved off her hair in high school and pretended to be losing it. But you know, teenage girls go through stuff.

Speaker 1 Okay, so she cashed all those bad checks, but she was really embarrassed about it and she probably learned her lesson, right? Nobody's perfect.

Speaker 1 Okay, so she did fake a whole pregnancy, but you know, we didn't like that boyfriend she was with. Maybe this is his fault somehow.

Speaker 1 And now she's got this new boyfriend and he seems so nice and maybe he'll help even her out. Maybe this is all behind us now.

Speaker 1 But it was never behind us and what was coming was always worse than the last thing. It wasn't until I started talking to experts that I understood how compulsive Megan's behavior had really become.

Speaker 1 She had this need to keep upping the ante, like she was an addict whose tolerance was increasing. And it seemed to destroy everything in her path.

Speaker 1 So we kept waiting for the crisis to be over.

Speaker 1 But the truth was, we could patch the holes, my parents could bail her out one more time, we could make excuses for her once again, but it would never, ever be over.

Speaker 1 We have plenty of evidence, both from Sophie's own journals and from the recollections of folks we spoke to on background, that Sophie's pattern of constant crisis began long before Zambia, but certainly it escalated once she went abroad.

Speaker 1 In her memoir, Sophie tells this heroic story of emerging victorious after an agonizing battle to adopt her daughters. So, okay, the battle is won.
Smooth sailing now, right?

Speaker 1 But in a pattern that would ratchet up dramatically over the next several years, for Sophie and her girls, the minute one crisis faded, the next was just beginning.

Speaker 1 People believe their eyes. That's something that is so central to this topic because we do believe the people that we love when they're telling us something.

Speaker 1 If we didn't, you could never make it through your day. I'm Andrea Dunlop, and this is Nobody Should Believe Me.

Speaker 1 Many of you know that I was an author before I was a podcaster, and those worlds collide with my new audiobook, The Mother Next Door, Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy, which I co-authored with Detective Mike Weber, and which I narrate.

Speaker 1 If you want to dive into these three fascinating cases, you can listen wherever you get your audiobooks. Here's a sample.

Speaker 1 You busy? Alana said, leaning against the doorway of Mike's office. We got another Munchausen by Proxy case.
This one is ours. You interested?

Speaker 1 Of course, Mike told her, somewhat taken aback. Wasn't this abuse vanishingly rare?

Speaker 1 Alana deposited the voluminous CPS report about Hope Yobara on his desk. Mike had worked dozens of child abuse cases by this point in his life.
He'd seen children subjected to unimaginable horror.

Speaker 1 He thought he had seen the absolute worst of humanity already, but nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to discover about hope.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's Andrea. It's come to my attention that some of you have been served programmatic ads for ICE on my show.

Speaker 1 Now, podcasters don't get a lot of control over which individual ads play and for whom on our shows, but please know that we are trying everything we can to get rid of these by tightening our filters.

Speaker 1 And if you do continue to hear them, please do let us know. In the meantime, I want it to be known that I do not support ICE.
I am the daughter of an immigrant. I stand with immigrants.

Speaker 1 Immigrants make this country great.

Speaker 1 If you'd like to support the show, the best way to do that is to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or on Patreon.

Speaker 1 You get all episodes early and ad-free, along with extended cuts and deleted scenes from the season. You also get two exclusive bonus episodes every month.

Speaker 1 And for the first time ever, we have the entire season ready for you to binge right now on the subscriber feed. That's right.

Speaker 1 You can listen to every episode of season five right this minute if you subscribe to the show.

Speaker 1 And as always, if monetary support is not an option for you right now, rating and reviewing the show wherever you listen also helps us a great deal.

Speaker 1 And if there's someone you feel needs to hear this show, please do share it with them. Word of mouth is so important for independent podcasts.

Speaker 1 For even more, you can also find us on YouTube where we have every episode as well as bonus video content.

Speaker 1 There are conflicting accounts of what brought Sophie to the Pacific Northwest in 2015 after C's adoption was finalized. She told church friends she'd been called there by God.

Speaker 1 To others, as in this part of her police interview, she offered a more secular explanation.

Speaker 2 Can I ask where your family is?

Speaker 2 After living in Zambia, like also you're like having no tolerance. But I loved it out here.

Speaker 2 I knew that Seattle Children's was like this renowned hospital.

Speaker 1 She's right, by the way. Seattle Children's is a renowned pediatric hospital.
They are consistently ranked one of the best children's hospitals in the U.S.

Speaker 1 News and World Report and have never been off that list since they started it 30 years ago.

Speaker 1 I can tell you from growing up here and spending most of my adult life here that Seattle Children's is a singularly beloved institution.

Speaker 1 However, it's worth noting that, luckily, there are many great pediatric hospitals around the country, including places like Mott Hospital in Michigan or Lori Children's in Chicago, or any number of other places that would have been closer to where Sophie grew up and where her family was.

Speaker 1 So again, while the Pacific Northwest is a lovely place to live, it just seems strange to move so far away from your family when you've just become a very young single mom of two.

Speaker 1 Even this explanation about the cold just feels weird. It's true that Seattle doesn't get extreme weather in the winters, but our winters are not warm.
In fact, they're pretty notoriously dreary.

Speaker 1 As a reminder, we are referring to Sophie's youngest daughter as C and her eldest daughter as M.

Speaker 1 Sophie recounts serious concerns about C's health going back to her birth in June of 2014.

Speaker 1 In one of C's first doctor visits in the U.S., a checkup at the University of Washington's Center for Adoptive Medicine, Sophie tells them that C suffered from such severe withdrawal symptoms due to in-utero drug exposure that the orphanage didn't know if she'd survive.

Speaker 1 It's impossible to know for sure what kind of shape C and M were really in when they moved to the States.

Speaker 1 Sophie describes the conditions in Zambia as dire, though photos of the girls from this time show them looking happy and healthy, and I have to say, very adorable.

Speaker 1 It's important to say, of course, that you can never judge someone's health by looking at them, but given Sophie's account of the orphanage, the absence of outward signs of distress or malnourishment are notable.

Speaker 1 And it was nice in these photos, honestly, to just see the girls as little humans.

Speaker 1 You know, the more we dug into this case and talked to people who'd known them, the more C and M started to come into focus.

Speaker 1 People remembered M M as being this very quiet, self-sufficient, talented, disciplined kid, while C was really more on the bubbly side and very outgoing and fun to be around.

Speaker 1 As Sophie and her daughters settle into life in the Pacific Northwest after their move in 2015, their lives become dominated by two things. The first is C's medical appointments.

Speaker 1 Almost immediately upon arriving, C is going to the doctor constantly for myriad issues. C's health appears to dominate much of Sophie's time right from the jump.

Speaker 1 From the records we have, we know that when Sophie originally brought C to the States, she was treated for Giardia. This is a very common parasitic infection that is fortunately easily treatable.

Speaker 1 In the first few years of her life, Sophie reported C having a variety of vomiting spells, constipation, and other gastrointestinal issues.

Speaker 1 This ultimately resulted in the placement of a G-tube, this is a surgically placed feeding tube, in 2017 and a sakostomy tube, which is used to flush a child's bowels, in 2018.

Speaker 1 Sophie also reported frequent seizures and episodes of full body paralysis. C used a number of different mobility aids during this time, including leg braces and a wheelchair.

Speaker 1 And three days after her third birthday, C was given a devastating diagnosis of a rare neurological condition called AHC, alternating hemiplegia of childhood, that causes paralysis and weakness on one or both sides of the body.

Speaker 1 The instance of this disease, one in a million.

Speaker 1 Over the next five years, C was seen at various hospitals as Sophie tried to get answers about her daughter's complex health issues.

Speaker 1 During her 2021 interview with Renton PD's Detective Adela Rourke and Detective Jason Wrangley, Sophie describes this medical odyssey.

Speaker 2 We moved back to the States basically because I knew because I was living overseas in India. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 And I knew that there was something medical going on and we just don't have access to care.

Speaker 2 We immediately were seen at Seattle Children's. So basically we started at Seattle Children's and kind of the first diagnostic that they did was a brain MRI and that indicated some

Speaker 2 brain damage

Speaker 2 that they likened thinking it's like due to drug and alcohol exposure.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Yes, okay.

Speaker 2 So that was initial like, okay,

Speaker 2 then I was still noticing a very like episodic like

Speaker 2 she's not herself like she's still so young but she's not herself she's not okay yeah but then the next day she's okay the next day she's kind of not so we started going through um like EEG tests what and what I'm sorry I don't know anything medical EEG is where they like put up um like stickers on your head and it kind of reads your brain activity oh like epilepsy or like an episodic disorder that's okay

Speaker 2 that makes sense so we went through a few of those. Nothing really came of it,

Speaker 2 but I just kind of kept pushing. I'm like, nope, something's going on here.

Speaker 2 I don't know what this is, but it's like one day she's paralyzed, one day

Speaker 3 she's not.

Speaker 2 What does the paralyzed look like? That's so scary to me. So she will be like

Speaker 2 paralyzed, basically. Like

Speaker 2 out of nowhere, like a slow progression. Yeah.
Or it'll be like one side and then it kind of goes to the other side.

Speaker 4 Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Anyways.

Speaker 5 How does that is it something like she's kind of playing like walking and then it hits her?

Speaker 2 It's usually like trigger. It's usually like a trigger.
So like sometimes like cold weather or exposure to water or

Speaker 2 high emotion. So like if she's super excited like Christmas morning,

Speaker 2 almost always she goes into episode because she's so excited. Yeah.
And then it's like,

Speaker 2 you know, so I have to like, okay, let's put the presents out all through the month of December so you can see. So it's not this like explosion.

Speaker 7 Yeah, excitement.

Speaker 1 C did have an abnormal MRI when she first arrived in the U.S., which could, as Sophie alludes to here, indicate some damage that was done in utero.

Speaker 1 This piece about the MRI, at least, is verifiable, and we'll come back to it as we dig more into the medical history.

Speaker 1 Based on the list of visits and procedures we've been able to put together, which is by no means a complete list, as well as Sophie's own description of the care that C required, it's hard to imagine that the family had time for much else.

Speaker 1 And yet, it's during this time that Sophie jumps into one of the most demanding roles imaginable, being the mom of a young gymnast on the Olympic track.

Speaker 1 Sophie's older daughter, Em started gymnastics when the family moved to Washington when M was about six.

Speaker 1 So my daughter Fiona is six right now, and already many of my fellow kindergarten parents are getting pulled into aggressive sports scheduling.

Speaker 1 I myself was a serious athlete growing up and I went on to play tennis in college, but honestly, it was nothing like these kids have going on today.

Speaker 1 And I could go on a whole tangent here about this relentless drive to optimize our children, but needless to say, I see a lot of my fellow parents basically taking on their kids' sports lives as a whole second job.

Speaker 1 So I have pretty immediate context for this.

Speaker 1 This made me very curious about these two sides of Sophie's life, where one daughter is in a constant state of crisis with her health and the other one is pursuing elite gymnastics.

Speaker 1 So we spoke to someone who knew the family during this time.

Speaker 8 I know Sophie through a gym that we both attended for our children and she was a parent there, obviously. We did all of our meets together.
All parents usually from gym to gym hang out together.

Speaker 8 So I know her just through communications and interactions at Metropolitan.

Speaker 1 Michelle was a fellow gymnastics parent at the gym in Kent, Washington, located about an hour south of Seattle. And this gym wasn't little kids bopping around doing cartwheels.

Speaker 1 It was serious business.

Speaker 8 In the program that our daughters were in, they were

Speaker 8 working towards a TOPS program, which is working towards the national Olympic team for juniors.

Speaker 8 So they were doing online school, homeschooling, and so they were there when the gym was empty every day.

Speaker 8 So it's a lot more interaction when you're dropping kids off and picking kids up because you're not dealing with a lot of other parents that are doing rec gym or evening practices. So

Speaker 8 a little more intense.

Speaker 1 In general, Michelle said the parents got along.

Speaker 1 So it sounds like when you first met Sophie, she seemed nice, she seemed sweet, kind of sounds like she wanted to be like really involved and was like kind of looking to connect with the other families.

Speaker 1 Yep. What were your impressions of her daughters? Because I assume like, I assume, I assume the youngest was there with her quite a bit as well.

Speaker 8 Yeah, everywhere she went. Yeah, never, never alone, ever.
Always had the youngest daughter with her.

Speaker 8 The oldest daughter

Speaker 8 is, was,

Speaker 8 could still be a fantastic gymnast.

Speaker 8 Very naturally talented, very great at it, had the drive, had the strength, had the right attitude, honestly, like really just all around.

Speaker 8 Everybody loved watching at meets and every, like the judges were always looking for her,

Speaker 8 and which is great. That's what you want.
Judges are waiting to see your kids perform and really fantastic athlete all around.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 having the youngest daughter with her always, sometimes in a wheelchair walking around, sometimes with leg braces on walking around, always had a costume bag on her, always was wearing a diaper,

Speaker 8 said she wasn't potty trained, would have like good days where, like I said, she was walking around and was able to get into the gym and stuff.

Speaker 8 And then really bad days where, you know, she's been hospitalized for the last week and then in a wheelchair for the next month and all those things.

Speaker 8 But everybody just kind of learned to go with those ebb and flows of that. And it was always something.

Speaker 8 going on there. There was always like some,

Speaker 8 something going on, always a story to talk, always about like how the youngest always had an issue and how we had to mispractice because of this or some reason or whatever for not being able to attend a meet or to be at practice or something like that, because it was always something with the youngest child.

Speaker 1 Throughout the first six years of her life, Sia's at the doctor all the time for testing, evaluations, ER visits, and those gastrointestinal surgeries.

Speaker 1 And this is all happening while Sophie is keeping up with her older daughter, M's, demanding gymnastic schedule. And it doesn't appear that Sophie had much help, if any, on the childcare front.

Speaker 1 So she took C along with her. Another mom from the gym, who asked not to be identified by name, recalled the little girl's constant presence.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 the younger daughter was often there all the time. Okay.

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 4 when

Speaker 4 she

Speaker 4 started, she was living in Bellingham. Okay.
So she was driving to Kent

Speaker 3 every day. Long.

Speaker 3 Every day.

Speaker 1 I mean, how long would you say that drive is like two hours?

Speaker 4 It's at least two hours.

Speaker 4 It's at least two. Well, it's in, yeah, it's two hours.
And when I heard that, I was like, what?

Speaker 4 Like, that's crazy to do with two kids in the car.

Speaker 1 I couldn't even.

Speaker 4 To me, I'm like, there's so many gyms along, anyways. That was just like, why?

Speaker 4 I did not understand.

Speaker 4 why somebody would do that because practice is four to five hours.

Speaker 4 There's no time for school. There's no time for anything, no social life, no home life, no anything.

Speaker 4 And practice didn't get over till 8.30 at night.

Speaker 4 So they were often like staying in hotels or like random, I don't know where they were staying, but they would stay overnight because we'd have practice Friday night and then we'd have practice Saturday morning.

Speaker 4 So to go home and then come back made no sense. So they, a lot of times Friday nights, they would stay in a hotel.

Speaker 1 That's intense.

Speaker 4 And then, yeah,

Speaker 4 besides the cost of it, the gas, the,

Speaker 4 I mean, and all of that.

Speaker 4 So that's how I knew, I knew of her that way. Like, oh, she's the person that drives down from Bellingham literally every day.

Speaker 1 And is there something special about, so this is that Metro, right? Like, is there something special about Metro where like this is the only gym that has that level of program in here?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 We've all seen the interview clips with parents that they trot out in the feel-good stories during the Olympics about all the sacrifices that the athletes' families made so that they could pursue their Olympic dreams.

Speaker 1 But while every person we spoke to said that M was indeed a talented gymnast and was in a serious gymnastics program, this gym isn't some one-of-a-kind Olympian factory.

Speaker 1 In fact, there's a different gym, incidentally about an hour closer to where Sophie lived at the time, that is a U.S. national training center.

Speaker 1 And again, M was six when they started this program, and kids that age don't decide to drive four hours round trip to do gymnastics all day, every day. That's on the parents.

Speaker 1 And as you can probably hear in this audio, I am absolutely baffled by this detail. I have two young kids, and long car trips with them are generally not a good time.

Speaker 1 You basically pack snacks, charge up the tablets, and pray.

Speaker 1 I just truly cannot wrap my head around this commute, especially for a single mom with a medically fragile child who needs the level of care that Sophie said she needed.

Speaker 1 Also, interestingly, Sophie isn't working throughout this time.

Speaker 1 From what we could gather, she appeared to be living on a combination of state benefits and likely some financial assistance from her family.

Speaker 1 So while I understand wanting to support your kids' hobbies, this is just so extreme. And the moms we spoke to remember Sophie constantly talking about the hardships of caring for C.

Speaker 4 She would, she would show everybody her braces and then

Speaker 4 Sophie would talk about you know where they went to get them and what they had to do to get them and the person who they had made them specially for her.

Speaker 4 Because I remember she talked about how they had ponies on them.

Speaker 4 Pink purple ponies I think.

Speaker 4 And there was somebody, there was a guy there that was a really tall big guy and she would always like jump up on him, like jump up, like play like, you know, like jump on him.

Speaker 4 Like she loved to do that, like jump up on him all the time when she was like running around and happy and like playing.

Speaker 4 But then some days she'd come in and she would just be like covered in a blanket and

Speaker 4 you know she'd have like band-aids on her hand, you know, and

Speaker 4 Sophie would tell us, oh, she's had a really bad night. A really bad night.
Just a really bad night. But then she wouldn't say anything.

Speaker 4 Okay. So she wanted you to like,

Speaker 4 what happened?

Speaker 1 It was sort of a bid for. What happened?

Speaker 4 Yeah. But she wouldn't tell anybody what, like, she wouldn't embellish on what the bad night was.

Speaker 1 What were your impressions of the older daughter? Just obviously she's a super talented gymnast. Yes, very.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 She seemed very, I mean,

Speaker 4 very self-sufficient, very,

Speaker 4 you know, she

Speaker 4 took care of herself, basically. I mean, she did everything

Speaker 4 herself. She,

Speaker 4 you know, there's,

Speaker 4 she was nice. She was quiet.

Speaker 4 She was just,

Speaker 4 you know,

Speaker 4 she didn't really talk about much. I mean, I wasn't around her a ton, but when I was, she was just very quiet and, you know, well-mannered and calm.

Speaker 1 Kind of reserved one about her business. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 When you say she took care of like everything herself, do you mean like, I mean, you said like self-sufficient but did you see the older daughter having to be kind of like caretakery in a way of like her mom and younger sibling well she would

Speaker 4 I mean you know they would have they always had like the gymnast they have all of their stuff in a backpack they have their grips they have you know all of their stuff and a lot of the moms would have because they were there for so long they would have snacks they would have you know all this stuff and a lot of the moms would make sure that you know do you have this do you have this you have because you don't want to leave that stuff at the gym because it gets expensive if you lose it every time.

Speaker 4 And, you know, she never asked her if she had any of that. She, I think, you know,

Speaker 4 she knew she had to have it with her. I mean, obviously, they're going back to Bellingham.
She's not going to leave it there. But

Speaker 4 she always made sure, you know, she if the younger one was starting to run out into the gym, she grabbed her. She didn't, you know, it was never Sophie who went after her.
It was always her.

Speaker 4 So, you know, on the mats, because you can't, there's a spot where it's like, you know, no, you know, only gymnasts past this point.

Speaker 4 And.

Speaker 1 And what would Sophie be doing when that happened?

Speaker 4 She wouldn't do anything. She was just standing there.

Speaker 1 These small details of the family's dynamic are really striking to me, partly because I have kids almost the exact ages of M, who is around six at this time, and C, who was a toddler during this period.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking about the struggle of getting my two out the door to kindergarten and preschool each day, and this is just that times a million.

Speaker 1 And listen, I'm not saying that M didn't enjoy gymnastics, but with kids this age, the parents are the drivers, especially with a training program so intense that the girls participating can't even attend normal school.

Speaker 1 Since she began her motherhood journey in Zambia, Sophie just seems to make choice after choice that pile on this self-imposed hardship.

Speaker 1 Beginning with the decision to push through a transracial foreign adoption as a single woman with no job whose own frontal lobe was barely fully developed.

Speaker 1 Then choosing to move many states away from her entire support system, then putting her daughter in an all-consuming sports program a two-hour drive from home while caring with a younger child with a debilitating condition.

Speaker 1 And setting aside the piece about C's medical issues, and we'll get into all of that, none of these circumstances befell Sophie. She chose all of this.
I just can't square it.

Speaker 1 Reproductive care is so important. And did you know that one in four people who can get pregnant will have an abortion?

Speaker 1 Abortion is an extremely common experience that deserves non-judgmental, compassionate, and personalized care.

Speaker 1 Our sponsor, CareFM, gives folks a choice about what type of abortion care works best for them. They have in-person locations with private entrances in Atlanta, Chicago, and the Washington, D.C.

Speaker 1 areas. And they offer medically supported abortion pills by mail in 20 states.

Speaker 1 So whether you're looking for supportive in-person in-person care or care in the privacy of your own home, they've got you. Getting abortion pills by mail from Care FM is simple.

Speaker 1 You just fill out an online order form, and a licensed provider will review your medical history. If you're eligible, your medication will be shipped to you in a couple of days.

Speaker 1 And you'll get guidance from Care FM on the process from start to finish, with instructions, reminders, and answers to all of your questions whenever they come up 24/7.

Speaker 1 Whichever kind of care you're looking for, Care FM will support you every step of the way. You can learn more at carefm.org.
That's c-a-r-a-f-e-m.org.

Speaker 1 Well, the holidays are barreling towards us at the end of this, the longest year in human history. And I just want to be fancy and cozy at the same time.

Speaker 1 And my favorite brand Quince makes this possible. Of course, Quince's cashmere sweaters are a perennial hit, and I also love their washable silk tops, skirts, and dresses.
Yes, silk that is washable.

Speaker 1 It is so easy to care for, and it looks super lux and polished. I am currently eyeing the silk slip dress and the silk jersey mini wrap for holiday parties.

Speaker 1 And if you're the kind of responsible person who does holiday shopping early, look no further. Quince has beautifully curated gift guides with accessories, sweaters, bedding, jewelry, you name it.

Speaker 1 They also have adorable kids' holiday pajamas. Quince is truly a one-stop shop for all the lovely things.

Speaker 1 And as always, Quince works directly with ethical top-tier factories, so you can skip the middlemen and pay 50% less than similar brands.

Speaker 1 So step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished, and last last from Quince. Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself.

Speaker 1 Go to quince.com slash believe for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com slash believe to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Speaker 1 Quince.com slash believe. And remember, the chopping our sponsors is a great way to support the show.

Speaker 1 As C got older, her condition appeared to worsen.

Speaker 1 And as part of her treatment, she enrolled in various therapies to help with her challenges with cognition and movement from her speech pathologist to her occupational therapist to the instructor at her horse riding school everyone seemed charmed by see who is constantly smiling in pictures and videos from this time and is just generally pretty darn cute she was more able to kind of get jokes and

Speaker 9 engage she was always very very polite always thank you please um

Speaker 9 super sweet i really enjoyed her.

Speaker 9 You know, she could read stories with me and was understanding them well enough,

Speaker 9 could retell them pretty well, you know, with some visual support. But she's also five and, you know, five girls need that kind of stuff.

Speaker 9 She's a sweet little girl.

Speaker 9 A lot of the time she was talkative and excited to do the activities that I had sent home.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Yeah.
She was really into horses and so a lot of the activities that I sent home were, you know, about that.

Speaker 9 And she was lovely to work with.

Speaker 2 She talks about her dog, ponies, her sister, and donuts mainly. She talks about food all the time.
Yeah, it's one of her favorite subjects. She's like, oh, we're going to go and get donuts after this.

Speaker 1 So eventually, Sophie moves to the south end of Seattle.

Speaker 1 We couldn't confirm the reason for this move, but the family landed in Renton, putting them within five miles of the gym where M was still training for hours each day.

Speaker 1 While the move makes their daily commute less cumbersome, C's condition, according to Sophie, continues to baffle doctors.

Speaker 2 It would be like you could watch it on one side of her body be like all the way limp.

Speaker 2 And then, so, and if she could crawl, she would be like crawling with that one side and then dragging the other side. Oh my god.
And then it would switch and it would go to the other side.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I'm a crazy person. Like, what is happening?

Speaker 2 And every time I I go in like to the doctor She wouldn't be exhibiting those symptoms I'm like I know this sounds crazy, but I'm not making this up. This is not this is not yeah, well, you're the mom.

Speaker 2 Yeah so anyways we decided I would we started with the neurologist at Seattle Children's to pursue genetic testing because we're like and the the neurologist had seen so we decided to do genetic testing at that time

Speaker 2 Then the neurologist like right before she was putting in the order or she put in the order She went on emergency maternity leave.

Speaker 2 Oh, so when a provider has put in the order, if they are not there, then you have to either get approval from someone else on their team or you have to wait until they're back.

Speaker 2 Well, I think she went into labor really early

Speaker 2 or something because it was an emergency. It wasn't planned.
Like we, I knew she was pregnant or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But so then once she went on emergency maternity leave, I was like, okay, we can't wait like the three, four months that this is going to be. What other provider can we, you know?

Speaker 2 I'm like, these are the things that are going on I don't want to wait there's more GI stuff nothing that they're doing is working we're just trying medicine medicine medicine and it's not working so can we have a referral to go to Mary Bridge Children's for a second opinion so

Speaker 2 we got that and and is that Mary Bridge and Tacoma

Speaker 2 So we got that and

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 2 got on the phone with them and I was like, hey, I'm not super happy with our care at Seattle Children's. We are struggling because I just don't feel like they take things seriously.

Speaker 2 Also, because my daughter appears to have a pretty severe but episodic condition. And the problem is that if I can't get her in that day,

Speaker 2 then they don't see what I'm talking about. And I'm taking videos, I'm sending them videos, and they're like, oh, this, you know.
What did they say about the videos?

Speaker 2 They were just like, oh, that's odd. Or, oh, that does look like dystonia.

Speaker 2 But then nothing ever happened dystonia dystonia's like abnormal position so that's another type of episode which is like so you see like um

Speaker 2 kids who have really severe like cerebral palsy okay their body position gets locked that's from like high muscle tone

Speaker 1 As you heard, Sophie seems to move from doctor to doctor seeking answers. And you also may be thinking, with all this caretaking of C and M's gymnastics stuff, this must be getting expensive.

Speaker 1 And again, no one we spoke to or who the police spoke to had any recollection of Sophie having a job.

Speaker 1 This quandary of how she was participating in one of the most expensive youth sports also confused her fellow gymnastics moms.

Speaker 8 There was one mom who really helped a lot with them. And

Speaker 8 this mom like picked up, dropped off. They traveled with when Sophie couldn't travel because of her youngest daughter.
They took her on travel meets. They

Speaker 8 I don't honestly know how gymnastics was paid for. It must have been a scholarship situation.
I mean gymnastics is an expensive sport.

Speaker 8 Just tuition and assessment fees alone, you're at like almost 12 grand a year. That's but that's outside of airfare, hotels, food, all the things that it takes place to travel for gymnastics.

Speaker 8 I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 8 Like I know that Metropolitan has a huge booster club and like people donate to it and businesses donate to it and you have to volunteer in order to, you have to be a part of the booster club.

Speaker 8 You have to register and you have to do so many volunteer hours in order to get like things paid for.

Speaker 1 Unclear whether Sophie did any volunteer work at the gym, but hard to see where she would have found the time. But this whole situation just felt off to many of the parents at the gym.

Speaker 4 I remember talking about it with another mom.

Speaker 4 I just thought it was, I just thought it was the whole, I thought the whole situation was strange in that she has a very sick kid, you know, when we knew how sick she was and she has to go to all of these doctor's appointments, she would start to talk about money and how, you know, she doesn't have any money and she needs fundraisers and all this stuff.

Speaker 4 And then she picks it, not picks, but her daughter is in the most, one of the most expensive sports. I would also think like, where does she get her money from? Like, she does not seem to have a job.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 because she's here all the time. She's with, you know, and

Speaker 4 the money is always going out, so where is the money coming in from?

Speaker 4 I mean, she, I know she wrote a book, but that could not be that much, that can't bring in that much profit. I figured that she was getting money from her church, and

Speaker 4 I was guessing, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 I have to break in here as an author who has worked in and around book publishing for 20 years to let you know that Sophie's book was not a source of income.

Speaker 1 Book advances advances can vary widely, but for a first-time author, a typical advance is somewhere between $5,000 and $50,000, and that's if you sell your book to a publisher.

Speaker 1 Now, Sophie's memoir is self-published, meaning she had to front all of the costs for production.

Speaker 1 And I will say, this book looks pretty professionally produced, as does the sweeping cinematic book trailer she made to market it. None of this looks DIY.

Speaker 1 This could easily have been a $10,000 investment on Sophie's part. So frankly, I'd be shocked if Sophie came anywhere near to breaking even on this project.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying this to be mean about Sophie's author career. This book is just another thing that begs the question: where did all this money come from?

Speaker 1 The money for the adoptions, the money to go to Zambia in the first place, the money for gymnastics, and all of C's treatments and therapies. Hell, their daily living expenses.

Speaker 1 Who is paying for all of this?

Speaker 9 So the fundraiser that your church did, were you a part of that? My husband's a senior pastor. We planted six years ago.
Oh, okay. And so

Speaker 9 I was there, yes.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 9 he just felt like he was supposed to take like a love offering, you know,

Speaker 9 and invited the church to, you know, give whatever they wanted

Speaker 9 towards the vehicle that Sophie needed for

Speaker 9 wheelchair, or at least like a wheelchair wheelchair accessible SUV, something like that with like a ramp.

Speaker 9 And I believe the church raised about around $30,000, something like that.

Speaker 1 This is from a police interview with a friend from Pursuit Northwest, the church that Sophie joined after moving to Seattle.

Speaker 1 As she says, the church helped raise over $30,000 to help Sophie purchase a wheelchair accessible vehicle.

Speaker 1 This brings us back to that feel-good story we heard at the top of episode one about fundraising for the special van for C.

Speaker 10 So family, friends are banding together. They're trying to raise money and this is something that is, you know, no little ask.

Speaker 1 The fundraiser came about a year after Sophie started taking C to Duke University Medical Center in North Carolina to visit their renowned AHC clinic.

Speaker 1 AHC or alternating hemiplegia of childhood is a rare and potentially debilitating neurological condition.

Speaker 1 We're going to bring in an expert in an upcoming episode to help us better understand AHC, but this was the diagnosis Sophie reported to friends, family, and the news media during this time.

Speaker 1 By the time she was fundraising for C's van, Sophie was well-versed in asking for money. From M's adoption in 2014 onward, there were frequent asks for money.

Speaker 1 These came from GoFundMes, marathon beneficiaries, and even a Catholic school that raised money for children with disabilities.

Speaker 1 Sophie, a single unemployed mother of two, was always raising money, and there was often a particular emphasis on leaning on her community's sense of Christian charity.

Speaker 4 Just she talked about she was very into her church and

Speaker 4 the fundraisers seemed to go through the church from what I noticed from like they were posted on her church, the church sites a lot, I think.

Speaker 1 She had sort of a social media account that was dedicated to her younger daughter, and that was about raising money or raising awareness or following her journey or

Speaker 3 all of that.

Speaker 4 Okay, so she had a huge fundraiser at one point to raise money to get a

Speaker 4 like a handicap-accessible like car, the vehicle, like a pilot. I think it was a Honda pilot that she got.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's expensive. Those are not cheap cars.

Speaker 4 And she got it. So she raised enough money.
And I mean, she sold sweatshirts. I don't know how that much could go into selling sweatshirts from sweatshirts to get a car.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sounds like maybe there was a couple of different

Speaker 4 services that were probably in the middle. Yeah, I'm sure.
So,

Speaker 4 and that, I'm pretty sure. I mean, again, I know I'm not positive, but I think that was

Speaker 4 sponsored by the church. It went through the church, and then the dealership did something with it too.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 because the younger one was getting a new wheelchair that was going to, that had like that was bigger because she was getting bigger and she couldn't lift her anymore.

Speaker 1 And did you

Speaker 1 did you see the younger one in her wheelchair?

Speaker 4 I never saw her in a wheelchair. I saw her in a stroller, but never a wheelchair.

Speaker 1 The fundraisers, which we heard about earlier in this series for this wheelchair accessible car, went on to raise just over $45,000, which got them the car, along with a discount from the dealership.

Speaker 1 And from the schedule she was keeping with the girls alone, which included homeschooling, gymnastics, equine therapy, and all the doctor's appointments, there seemed to be no time for a job.

Speaker 1 And another thing that stands out to me, no partner. We've talked quite a bit about dads in these cases in previous seasons, and they really run the gamut.

Speaker 1 From dads like George Honeycutt and Ryan Crawford, who move heaven and earth to protect their kids, to dads like Lou Pelletier and Jack Kowalski, who not only enable this abuse, but take a pretty active role in it.

Speaker 1 But in this case, there were no partners in Sophie's life at all. This is not a group that loves to go to work.

Speaker 1 With the exception of Hopybarra, building a career is just not the central focus of most of these women's lives.

Speaker 1 And there is often confusion in these cases about the difference between munch housing behaviors and what are known as malingering behaviors, where someone engages in medical deception for a tangible benefit, like money or in order to evade something like military service or going to work.

Speaker 1 And while Sophie was raising a lot of money during this time, it seemingly wasn't the only motivator.

Speaker 1 These fundraisers were incredibly public, with Sophie and the girls appearing in commercials, Sophie speaking at benefit galas, and lots and lots of social media activity, in addition to coverage on the local news.

Speaker 1 Here again is that news report we heard at the top of the series.

Speaker 10 We just wanted to put their positive energy out there, and I can't tell you how fun

Speaker 10 to be around. Her smile.
It's just

Speaker 10 so inspiring and just amazing. So I hope that, you know, they get the help that they need.

Speaker 1 So while the spotlight was on Sophie for her heroic mothering, when the cameras were gone, Sophie's behavior around the girls seemed off.

Speaker 1 Here's a neighbor who spent a lot of time with the family.

Speaker 5 She's just an all-powerful, very powerful force over there.

Speaker 5 Very mistrustful of, you know, she keeps the kids away from school. She keeps the kids away from other kids.

Speaker 5 I'm really kind of against

Speaker 3 home

Speaker 5 schooling. And

Speaker 5 she just couldn't imagine sending the kids to school. And I think the gymnastics for her is just kind of a way to keep her controlled.

Speaker 1 What was clear from all of the interviews is that CNM were rarely alone with other adults. Their world was very narrow, and Sophie was omnipresent.

Speaker 1 You know, you've hit middle age when you find yourself saying things to your kids like, hey, money doesn't grow on trees, you know, and what am I? Made of money?

Speaker 1 Well, the good news is there's a better and less eye-roll inducing way to teach your kids the value of a dollar than sounding like a sitcom dad. And that's Acorns Early.

Speaker 1 Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.

Speaker 1 The app has a chore tracker and your kids can set savings goals and start building good money habits early. They also get their very own customizable debit card.
Fiona chose one with puppies.

Speaker 1 We are all about puppies right now, which is both cute and useful. Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits and real-time spend notifications, parents always stay in control.

Speaker 1 So if you're ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save, and spend, you can get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com backslash nobody or download the Acorns Early app.

Speaker 1 That's one month free when you sign up at acornsearly.com backslash nobody. Acorns Early card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International.

Speaker 1 Free trial for new subscribers only. Subscription fees starting from $5 per month unless canceled.
Terms apply at acorns.com backslash early terms.

Speaker 1 With a business to run and two kids to raise, it's important that we stay on top of our finances in my household. And it helps to have a bank that's actually on your side, which is why I love CHIME.

Speaker 1 You can open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees. You can get paid up to two days early when you set up a direct deposit.

Speaker 1 And with qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for fee overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. In fact, to date, QIIME has spotted their members over $30 billion

Speaker 1 with a B dollars. And with QIIME, you also get access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, which is more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 1 So wherever your holiday travels might be taking you, they've got your back. So work on your financial goals through QIIME today.
Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash believe.

Speaker 1 That's chime.com slash believe. Chime feels like progress.
And remember, the shopping hour sponsors is a great way to support the show.

Speaker 7 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank, banking services and debit card provided by the Bankwork Bank NA or Stripe Bank Bank NA.

Speaker 7 Members, FDIC, spot in the eligibility requirements, and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission payment file.

Speaker 7 Fees apply it out of network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to U.S. News and World Report 2023.
Chime checking account required.

Speaker 1 Between recorded interviews with people who knew her and the folks we spoke to, a clearer picture of Sophie was really starting to emerge.

Speaker 1 Everyone spoke about how fixated she seemed on C's health issues. And another thing that she brought up a lot was her daughter's race.
Here we are again with one of the gymnastics moms.

Speaker 4 I remember specifically, we were on at a team, at a meet in like, I don't remember where we were, let's say like Arizona or somewhere, but we were at the table and

Speaker 4 we were getting up,

Speaker 4 I can't remember what we were doing, we were at a separate table and the kids were all sitting at one table. And

Speaker 4 we were trying to tell the server like who our kids were, you know.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 so I was pointing out, you know, oh, those are mine and and she's like oh it's really easy to find mine mine's the black one over there kind of uncomfortable for anybody for a kid for

Speaker 4 all of us like we're just like okay

Speaker 4 but that's basically how she she was very you know

Speaker 4 or she would make you know a big deal about chalk getting in her hair or you know if if somebody you know because I mean chalk is everywhere in the gym everywhere you cannot you know if somebody happened to walk by and you know clap their hands near her hair it was a huge deal because nobody understood how hard it was to do her hair

Speaker 4 I don't I know I understand that but it didn't need to be like you didn't need to make kids feel bad about

Speaker 4 being near her You're in a gym with chalk. It's going to happen.
So don't make them feel bad about it.

Speaker 1 Would she kind of like get on other kids' cases?

Speaker 4 Yeah, absolutely. Yes.

Speaker 4 So like make them feel bad.

Speaker 1 So she would like scold a kid for like don't clap near my daughter's hair because my daughter's hair, you don't understand.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 how would her daughter react in these moments?

Speaker 4 I feel like she was

Speaker 4 embarrassed, you know?

Speaker 1 We heard of other incidents from parents at the same gym about how Sophie would often make a point to bring up the girl's race.

Speaker 8 And like at every meet, it was like, oh, look, I have the only black daughter out there on the gym in the meet. And, oh, look, she's the only black person.

Speaker 8 Like, I can remember being at a meet specifically with another family at Metro and she walked up and she was like, yet again, the only black athlete that's out there.

Speaker 8 And it's like, okay, well, not really. Maybe in this session, yes, but like in general, not the only one.

Speaker 1 Now, a big note that I want to make here is that the moms we spoke to about these incidents at the gym are white. And I say this as a fellow white mom of white children.

Speaker 1 There might be dynamics here that we, as white moms of white children, are not especially attuned to. And lack of diversity in sports like gymnastics is a very real thing.

Speaker 1 It's also true that the mention of the existence of race can make people extremely reactive.

Speaker 1 I am in the same basic demographic as these moms, and I was raised in the Pacific Northwest in the 80s and 90s. The vibe around this was very much, we don't see color, so there's there's that.

Speaker 1 And while any individual anecdote about how Sophie discussed the race of her girls might be brushed off as a mom doing her best with the tools she has, this came up again and again with people we spoke to.

Speaker 1 And many folks had the distinct impression that Sophie was using her daughter's race as a way to get attention for herself and also to give her a kind of upper hand in a given situation.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't feel entirely equipped to handle this discussion. So we asked Chad Goller-Sojiner, artist, educator, and transracial adoption consultant, for his take on all of this.

Speaker 6 Whether good or bad, you're drawing attention. I'm sure I can't imagine a world where her daughter appreciates that happening.
So I mean, I think her daughter wouldn't appreciate it happening.

Speaker 6 And I think that's when it becomes more performative. Sometimes that something is

Speaker 6 interesting because even in spaces where they want to celebrate blackness, they still have to be the

Speaker 6 main person. So that wasn't only about the black, about the kid.

Speaker 6 First of all, you're in a gym don't take your kid to a gym and when you know you can't i mean that's gymnastics that's what they do they chop their hands

Speaker 6 you're telling other kids first of all why are you rebuking other people's children i mean there's there's so much

Speaker 6 yeah there's a lot of layers there's a lot of layers there you're laying track uh but yeah i just think that based on what you just said i mean i call that unnecessary and it'd be um when you put it doesn't really do anything it seems like it's when those false

Speaker 6 like oh look i'm you know i'm being a sensitive good mother or something like that

Speaker 1 and there it is this is the through line sophie forever at the center of the story her daughter's challenges the harrowing situation in their homeland that sophie describes herself rescuing them from her plight to snatch them from the jaws of the corrupt adoption system sees interminable health troubles the racism they encounter as black children It's all about Sophie.

Speaker 1 But Sophie's carefully crafted narrative of her heroism in the face of suffering was about to start coming undone.

Speaker 1 Next time.

Speaker 5 But my observation, I've never seen a more normal kid in my life. You know, I have.

Speaker 1 Nobody Should Believe Me is written, hosted, and executive produced by me, Andrea Dunlop. Our senior producer is Mariah Gossett.
Story editing by Nicole Hill. Research and fact-checking by Erin Ajayi.

Speaker 1 And our associate producer is Greta Stromquist. Mixing and Engineering by Robin Edgar.
Administrative support from NOLA Carmouche.

Speaker 1 If you or anyone you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, please go to munchhausensupport.com to connect with professionals who can help.

Speaker 11 The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online. and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft.

Speaker 11 But LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our U.S.-based restoration specialists will fix it guaranteed or your money back.

Speaker 11 Don't face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or financial losses alone. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock.
Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com/slash podcast.

Speaker 11 Terms Apply.