Share & Tell & Twins with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne

Speaker 1 I'm Pablo Torre, and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by Remy Martin 1738, Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities.

Speaker 1 Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is.

Speaker 5 Three people who don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 8 Antoine.

Speaker 1 Right after this ad.

Speaker 9 We're listening

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Speaker 1 If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Speaker 1 This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Speaker 1 Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

Speaker 1 So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

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Speaker 12 Remy Martin Cognac, Veeen Champain, a 14 alcoholic volume 40 by Reny Control, USA Incorporated, New York, York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Speaker 13 Please drink responsibly.

Speaker 15 Hey.

Speaker 16 Look at you.

Speaker 15 Oh.

Speaker 15 Hey.

Speaker 7 I know your wives now.

Speaker 1 Everyone's wearing real clothes today.

Speaker 18 I know we have like the same.

Speaker 1 Except my pants have buttons on the sides. I'm wearing snap pants.

Speaker 19 Can you rip them off? Yes.

Speaker 12 I'm not asking you like I want you to.

Speaker 16 Would you kindly

Speaker 1 ask the third segment of today's show?

Speaker 7 Great.

Speaker 21 Had you not met his wife before?

Speaker 19 No, I had, but I was actually telling Dan on the way there. I was like, we have spent woefully little time together.

Speaker 19 So I've spent about as much time with Liz as I now have with Carrie, who both are lovely and wonderful. And your kids whose names I don't remember.
You said, say your names, and neither of them did.

Speaker 19 And then, like, you over-talked each other when you said Willa. So I missed it.

Speaker 23 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 19 Truman, I just forgot out of respect for Willa.

Speaker 21 Thank you. And that's very sweet of you.

Speaker 17 Thank you.

Speaker 1 We should explain what we did as a show.

Speaker 19 We did a non-we did an off-camera content meeting, which I think other people would just call a dinner.

Speaker 19 We just had a dinner. We all went over to Michael's and we had dinner.

Speaker 19 Not the craft store, Michael's house.

Speaker 12 Michael and Carrie hosted us at their lovely home.

Speaker 19 Thank you so much.

Speaker 25 Really lovely.

Speaker 1 Provided a fully cooked menu.

Speaker 17 Yes, pork.

Speaker 1 Multi-course.

Speaker 19 No offense.

Speaker 12 Pork-centric.

Speaker 26 No offense.

Speaker 27 No offense.

Speaker 1 You cooked the thing that I immediately discerned to be the thing you cook for people who visit.

Speaker 7 That is the thing.

Speaker 19 And you've got it down to

Speaker 7 really well done. Yeah, it's really good.

Speaker 29 It's your pal David Chang of Family Feud.

Speaker 1 Funny. That's right.
Co-champion.

Speaker 21 It's his recipe on the New York Times recipes.

Speaker 5 Momo Fuku's Bo Sam.

Speaker 1 My favorite moment beyond us getting to know each other and our respective respective partners and Willa and Truman was when Willa and Truman totally owned Dan.

Speaker 19 Oh my god. And I didn't help.
Dan was telling a story and he used to- Well, we all even sit there together, by the way.

Speaker 1 The kids are integrated into a table in a way that I was just so impressed by the way. They could hang.

Speaker 19 Yeah, they sat there. They were like, we'll pretend we like these people.

Speaker 19 And Dan was telling a story and he used the word low-key. Now, he used it the way that we grew up using it, which I believe our generation uses it as an adjective.
That hang was pretty low key.

Speaker 19 The generation, your kids' generation uses it as what I believe is an adverb. Yeah.
It was low key pretty crazy. It was, and so at one point he said blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, low key.

Speaker 19 And I saw them both turn to each other and like nudge each other under the table and like laugh. And I couldn't, and I just looked over and I was like, are you laughing? Cause he said low-key.

Speaker 19 And they were like, yeah, that's exactly. And then Dan got very insecure about him saying it wrong.
And I was like, no, you said it right.

Speaker 19 They're just recognizing a, it was a little moment of generational crossover

Speaker 19 that I felt bad for calling out in the first place.

Speaker 1 He didn't really recover great from it. No.

Speaker 19 Because then he became aware of the children and how he was not connecting with them. And then I don't know if anyone else noticed, but they started clearing dishes and then so did he.

Speaker 20 And I think he really wanted to connect with the kids.

Speaker 1 We all noticed that Dan was overcompensating by the end of the day.

Speaker 29 I thought Dan did great.

Speaker 21 Reviews on Dan and Liz from the evening were all as A A-plus is all around.

Speaker 19 Fantastic. What about me?

Speaker 7 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Do we want to talk about Detective Stabler?

Speaker 19 I just want to throw that out there, K-Nemesis. No nemesis of mine.

Speaker 14 Are you caught up on

Speaker 32 the feud?

Speaker 21 Here's what I know there's there was a uncomfortable interaction between you and Mr. Maloney on Celebrity Jeopardy.

Speaker 17 Is that right? Yeah.

Speaker 21 And then beyond that, I know that there's like a little will they won't they.

Speaker 14 Well, not with you, but no, with us.

Speaker 27 No, with us.

Speaker 19 There's a big will they, won't they, with us?

Speaker 1 It is worth reliving that part.

Speaker 19 Is it? Oh, is it? Oh.

Speaker 34 Tell us about your charity, Katie.

Speaker 19 Oh, yeah. I'm playing for the Association of Women in Sports Media, which, you know, I am a woman in sports media, but we need more.

Speaker 19 Sports media is still like 80% male. So AWSM has campus chapters.
They have scholarship program, mentorship,

Speaker 19 networking events, just to try to bring more women and more unique voices into sports media.

Speaker 7 That's fantastic.

Speaker 7 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Applaud, applaud, applaud. No.

Speaker 35 Nothing.

Speaker 18 Nothing.

Speaker 31 Again, Dan.

Speaker 16 Go slow on his face. He's got no time.
He doesn't look like he wants women in sports media.

Speaker 1 Detective Stabler during your Celebrity Jeopardy.

Speaker 31 What round was that?

Speaker 19 Do you remember? Oh, no, but if it was, I think that was the first interview. So that must have been right at the beginning.
Yeah. And I came out the gate hot in that episode.

Speaker 19 So I think he was just like, who the

Speaker 19 right? And that's fair, you know, totally fair.

Speaker 1 Stabler, though, in this episode for Michael's edification, thank you.

Speaker 9 Did figure in

Speaker 1 it? Did figure in at the very end.

Speaker 34 Christopher Maloney was in second place with A.D.

Speaker 26 Hodge. He wrote a screwed up.

Speaker 34 What is Remember the Alamo? Yes, that's the slogan. Your wager?

Speaker 26 Wagered it all. Did you hear me go?

Speaker 36 You have $17,600.

Speaker 34 Now, Katie Nolan had that big lead.

Speaker 37 Did she have Remember the Alamo?

Speaker 38 I just spit. I did.

Speaker 34 She did. Now, math, not your favorite part of the game.

Speaker 37 You just had to wager more than $3,500. Right.

Speaker 34 And you're a targeted.

Speaker 37 And I wagered $3,500. You wagered exactly $300.

Speaker 38 Oh, my God.

Speaker 37 My friend Katie

Speaker 37 wages that 25.

Speaker 3 There's never in the middle and just belated by it.

Speaker 38 No!

Speaker 38 Come on!

Speaker 34 Katie, Christopher, pick up your signaling devices. I'm going to read a single category and clue.
The first one of you to buzz in with the correct response is our winner and our semifinalist.

Speaker 34 But I do need a correct response. Your category is

Speaker 34 French history.

Speaker 23 And here's the clue.

Speaker 37 Drink up.

Speaker 34 A famous New Orleans street is named after this dynasty that ruled France for most of the 17th and 18th centuries.

Speaker 37 Katie.

Speaker 19 What is bourbon?

Speaker 14 It is bourbon!

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 39 In your face.

Speaker 1 Desperately trying to buzz in

Speaker 1 to the point that it looks like he's actively masturbating.

Speaker 19 Oh my God, Pablo.

Speaker 17 That's true.

Speaker 19 Watching a clip of us watching a clip of me is making me feel

Speaker 7 really bad.

Speaker 25 I don't like

Speaker 19 I feel like I'm incepting myself. I apologize.

Speaker 5 He like obliterated that buzzer.

Speaker 21 They had to get a whole new podium after that.

Speaker 19 I would have been embarrassed. If he won, I would have been, if I were him, I would have been like, well, you clearly smoked me.
Why would I

Speaker 19 wouldn't have felt good about winning, but I guess he's different. I guess he's just built different.

Speaker 1 Christopher Maloney.

Speaker 2 I'm so sorry. Law and Order.
SVU.

Speaker 19 And who all of my friends, specifically my dear friend Kayla, when she found out, she was like, please tell him how badly I want to have sex with him. And I was like, we'll do.

Speaker 19 And then after the show, I was like,

Speaker 19 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 30 Can we take a, can we take a picture?

Speaker 19 And then while we were taking the picture, I just awkwardly said, my friend Kayla, we're like,

Speaker 41 with you.

Speaker 41 Ah,

Speaker 24 it was not my best.

Speaker 19 It wasn't my best. But I felt like I would be betraying my dear friend if I didn't let him know.

Speaker 19 And it was like way past the point where it was okay to let him know, which you could argue it was never okay to let him know. And so I just was like, whatever, dude.
I won Jeopardy.

Speaker 5 You were just like, in the name of friendship, I have to sexually harass this person.

Speaker 23 Yes, I have to. She asked me.

Speaker 27 I'm a girl's girl, you know?

Speaker 19 Yeah, and that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 But I feel like the thing about Christopher Maloney, every time I encounter like a headline by Christopher Maloney, is along the lines of people being like, Christopher Maloney, get to the f ⁇ ing already.

Speaker 1 Because this was to bring sports very clearly into this on the sports show that you all know for the sports of it.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 1 Christopher Maloney and Marisca Hargate, Mrs. Stabler and Benson, the partners on Lone Order SVU, were spotted courtside at Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 19 Holding hands.

Speaker 14 Holding hands.

Speaker 19 What's that? I don't hold hands when I'm sitting

Speaker 1 ever inside his inner thigh.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I don't like holding hand. Maybe I'm just an anti-hand holder.
I don't know if that's a me thing.

Speaker 1 Most of the time, it's like I feel like if we were spotted courtside, if any any combination of us yeah were spotted courtside in that pose our actual spouses would be like what

Speaker 19 is happening i guess it's different for actors right like i already am not built in the way that you know people who date actors can just watch them have sex scenes with like super hot other actors and they're like that's the job i don't think i would have that in me but this isn't this is not that this is this is not the acting part this is the this is i mean unless this is like just bait for, well, for are they still on the show together?

Speaker 1 So, this is the thing. The baiting of this, the method, will they, won't they, of this?

Speaker 33 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 For those not versed in Law and Order Cinematic Universe, as I am, there was a scene that made lots of SVU news because

Speaker 1 things did get a bit steamy on the show for the very first time. Are we going to look at it? We are.

Speaker 43 Yes.

Speaker 43 Oh.

Speaker 19 She's so so beautiful.

Speaker 26 I oh.

Speaker 26 Elliot. Elliot.
Elliot, I want to.

Speaker 26 I want to, but I can't. Oh.

Speaker 26 Why not?

Speaker 26 Because

Speaker 26 what if it doesn't work out?

Speaker 1 So that was January 2023.

Speaker 19 God, that's so Katie and Dan-coated.

Speaker 19 God, that's so us.

Speaker 27 What if it doesn't work out?

Speaker 1 And the fans, the subreddits, were very, very, of course, energized by this.

Speaker 4 Sure.

Speaker 1 But it never, it has not to date paid off. And this is the entire conversation is that were we just baited by them in that circumstance?

Speaker 19 How long ago was that in relation to the handhold?

Speaker 1 So that was about two years ago.

Speaker 28 Right. That's what I thought.

Speaker 1 And people keep demanding because they keep on holding hands and doing all this stuff. Yeah.
To the point where Christopher Maloney was then interviewed recently and he addressed the fan reaction.

Speaker 27 Video? Yes.

Speaker 44 We're doing the best we can to make it

Speaker 44 honest, not make it bait.

Speaker 44 If we do bait, at least for me, I always do it with a wink.

Speaker 44 I think it's good natured, but maybe you guys are over that. So, you know, and that's valid.
But, you know, you give us

Speaker 44 too much credit for the power that we might have, will will they, won't they, and all that stuff.

Speaker 5 I don't 100% know what the f he's saying right there.

Speaker 19 I think he was trying to say it's not up to them, it's up to the writers and or producers or whoever's in charge, and that when he baits in the public eye, he tries to do it like, I know you really want us to bang, like we're holding hands.

Speaker 22 I got you. Thank you for translating.

Speaker 19 But I don't think that he

Speaker 28 didn't see a wig in that photo.

Speaker 1 There was no wig in that photo.

Speaker 19 But he also, he does say it's valid if people are sick of it. So it sounds like he has heard people are like, better get off the pot, essentially.

Speaker 1 This is, I think, the larger conversation around like what we all demand from television. So, shipping is like a thing, right?

Speaker 1 This is now an ancient art, ancient tradition in which people are putting characters together.

Speaker 27 You're familiar, yes, yes, of course.

Speaker 16 Like, everybody shipped your severance character, yes, obviously.

Speaker 19 Yes, yeah, with his co-worker, I, or no, the lady that with the lady that was debating him, yeah, exactly,

Speaker 7 to baiting.

Speaker 21 Wow, really good,

Speaker 21 really, really good.

Speaker 9 Embrace the bait, okay, anyone Diminishing returns, but slipping their hair back and forth very proudly.

Speaker 1 The point being, though, that like this is

Speaker 1 it's it's sort of what you want, right?

Speaker 1 Because oh my god, people are so invested in the authenticity, the friendship, the real life, like will they, won't they, that they demand and create fan fiction.

Speaker 1 Only for, I guess, in this case, us to have to wonder, like, are you guys actually going to pay this off? Or is there no end game here?

Speaker 1 And all you have is the juice of them almost kissing and then holding hands in real life.

Speaker 19 Well, Well, because we're getting to the point now where like, yeah, you're not in control of the scripted show,

Speaker 19 but you could certainly leave your spouses and have a fling.

Speaker 25 You're in control of that.

Speaker 19 And don't get us to the point where we start demanding that of like, well,

Speaker 19 if you're going to hold hands in a Knicks game, I don't know.

Speaker 19 I think that's kind of wild, but I don't want this to be colored by the fact that you think I have some sort of long-standing beef with him. I have nothing but respect for Elliot Stabler.

Speaker 19 I've watched so much SVU. I only

Speaker 19 watched the reruns. I'm not like up to date on the new stuff, but so much SVU.
And I truly

Speaker 19 would love to see them hook up in the show. But I do want to say I think I'm done with the holding of the hands outside in the room.

Speaker 7 I don't think I don't need that.

Speaker 21 I don't want those two characters to get together on the show unless it's like, this is the last episode of the show and it's over now.

Speaker 14 Damn.

Speaker 9 Then it's like about them.

Speaker 21 You know what I mean? And that's not what it's about. It's about all these insane crimes.

Speaker 19 It's about the corruption within the police force.

Speaker 23 That's exactly.

Speaker 19 You watch it through that lens. Why are you thinking they're supposed to be doing this?

Speaker 1 I think it's about Christopher Maloney fundamentally edging.

Speaker 19 So you think you're diagnosing his kink.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Now, I need to make sure you're not shaming him for that kink because we don't do that.

Speaker 7 Never. Great.

Speaker 1 But we are, again, implying that maybe he should break up with his wife in real life and, you know, get with.

Speaker 7 First of all, I'm not saying that.

Speaker 21 I'm in full support of their marriages.

Speaker 17 I do think the acting thing you were saying before, which is that actors are built differently.

Speaker 21 It's not an excuse.

Speaker 7 It's just like

Speaker 9 how it is.

Speaker 21 It's like you come up, you know, you're in an acting school and you're all like giving each other massages and shit, and that's just normal.

Speaker 19 That doesn't happen anymore. I was going to use Sidney Sweeney and Glenn

Speaker 19 as Powell as an example, but she just broke up with her fiancé. So maybe that's not a good example.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's exactly the example.

Speaker 5 She's going to start dating Christopher Maloney.

Speaker 19 I will say, Christopher Maloney also has,

Speaker 19 any roles I've seen him in outside of SVU have been pretty sexually charged. I feel like he was Selena Meyer's little fling on Veep.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 19 He was like a, I don't know, like a life coach or some sort of a personal trainer or something.

Speaker 36 People are disturbed by your role. Yeah, they think folks who are physical can't be cerebral.

Speaker 38 They think those two things are separate, that they're not symbiotic.

Speaker 19 He was also in... Oh, I forget the name of that show.

Speaker 21 Isn't he in Wet Hot American Summer?

Speaker 9 He is.

Speaker 19 And is he sexed up in that?

Speaker 10 Nothing, old man. mind.

Speaker 36 I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Speaker 21 He's not ashamed of his physical form, that's for sure. And God bless him.

Speaker 19 What is the name of that show that was on Hulu?

Speaker 19 I think it was a tiny little cameo part.

Speaker 1 Max?

Speaker 9 The three X's?

Speaker 28 Wow, folks.

Speaker 1 That's a real show he's also on that was on Hulu.

Speaker 21 This part of the show is called Googling Things. It's where we're

Speaker 32 talking. Oh, difficult people.
Difficult people.

Speaker 19 What I remember is him doing the splits.

Speaker 30 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's doing a split.

Speaker 21 I'm so far from being able to do a split, I can barely stand.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he has his index finger under his chin.

Speaker 19 Yeah. Being a zaddy.

Speaker 1 Yep. So I guess what we're we're saying is...

Speaker 30 What are we saying?

Speaker 1 Kayla, Christopher Maloney.

Speaker 19 No, she's married now.

Speaker 26 What? She got married.

Speaker 14 Wait, who's Kayla? Oh, Kayla.

Speaker 1 Another will they, won't they?

Speaker 19 I know, I've been saying it. And I think they, I think they're still, they still could.

Speaker 21 Wow, I think this is actually, it's a really inopportune time for Christopher Maloney to have this thought then re-entered into his consciousness.

Speaker 42 What?

Speaker 21 Because the idea that he needs to sleep with your friend, especially now that she's married, because

Speaker 1 that's the number one thing he's into.

Speaker 6 He could go on a quest of some kind.

Speaker 1 If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Speaker 1 This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Speaker 1 Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

Speaker 1 So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Speaker 1 Learn more at remymartin.com.

Speaker 12 Remy Martin Conyak, Feene Champagne, Force and Alcoholic Volume 40 by Remy Control, USA Incorporated in Europe, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Speaker 13 Please drink responsibly.

Speaker 1 Do we want to talk about those

Speaker 1 Australians in that video?

Speaker 19 Okay, so listen, when when you put in the dock, Pablo put in the doc a thing about two twins in Australia, and I thought it was the two from Extreme Sisters on TLC.

Speaker 46 I'm Anna, and I'm Lucy.

Speaker 19 We're the world's most identical twins, and we're from Perth.

Speaker 19 And they do everything together. Yep, they share a boyfriend.

Speaker 22 They're from Perth,

Speaker 19 which is in Australia.

Speaker 19 And so this means they're sharing.

Speaker 30 Did they share a boyfriend?

Speaker 9 Yes. The same boyfriend,

Speaker 7 not twins.

Speaker 1 Is it this guy who's wearing a gold chain and a black shirt sitting in between them?

Speaker 19 It sure is. Their clothes are also custom-made.
They always wear the same thing. They had a difficult time finding a job because they needed to work together.

Speaker 47 Who's actually going for the position?

Speaker 48 Both of us.

Speaker 48 In the past, we've shared a job and we've shared a wage.

Speaker 48 You're kind of getting like two for the price of one.

Speaker 46 You're getting four hands instead of two.

Speaker 48 We're willing to share the job.

Speaker 46 Okay.

Speaker 48 We're a package deal. We always come together.

Speaker 46 We're never apart.

Speaker 19 But they do the same thing from your clip. They finish each other's sentences and they talk together.
And they're always at the end of that sentence. And it's like very funny.

Speaker 19 And I'd never seen anyone do it. And then I watched the clip you sent, and those women do it as well.

Speaker 47 Witnesses are recounting some of the drama that unfolded on the Sunshine Coast this afternoon.

Speaker 47 Two sisters have told how their mother and man raced to help when the carjacked SUV rolled on Steve Irwin Way, only to find the gun-wielding car thief emerging from the wreck.

Speaker 47 Here's some of what they had to say.

Speaker 46 And one guy, he was up there with our mum, and he

Speaker 46 went up there and he was coming back down towards us.

Speaker 7 And he goes, Run, he's got a gun.

Speaker 21 It reminds me of a bit that

Speaker 21 Kristen Wigg and Fred Armison used to do on SNL.

Speaker 19 And it's called

Speaker 35 every time for mothers, but there's no time for the mothers.

Speaker 31 Because I got a good feeling about anything they say.

Speaker 35 But no one's going to tell you the difference.

Speaker 1 So, two things. Apologies for laughing at their traumatic memory of hijacking.
Of course.

Speaker 13 However.

Speaker 21 They seem fine.

Speaker 16 They do.

Speaker 1 Can you give the visuals, people not watching?

Speaker 19 Well, they do also seem to be nurses, I will say.

Speaker 19 Just based on their outfits, they did seem to be nurses.

Speaker 1 They were wearing

Speaker 7 bunny rabbits.

Speaker 28 Patterned scrubs.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 5 They're wearing the exact same outfit.

Speaker 42 They have the exact same hairstyle.

Speaker 9 And face.

Speaker 21 Yeah. So I think like you could be twins, even identical twins, and yet differentiate yourself in some way.

Speaker 19 But they don't seem to want to.

Speaker 21 Those people seem to have no interest in being unique individuals in any way.

Speaker 1 Correct. So my main instinct when I get a viral video like this passing across my timeline is always to figure out like,

Speaker 1 how old is this? Did this just happen? Where is it from?

Speaker 1 What what you learn is that these two twins are not nurses oh for people okay uh oh they're nurses dogs try again cats try again birds kangaroos

Speaker 7 bird nurse are they bird nurses they're burses guys

Speaker 1 meet these two identical burses

Speaker 7 oh Bridget and Paula.

Speaker 46 It was very hard to sleep at night, too.

Speaker 35 Why, Mr. Percival.

Speaker 46 We thought our dream was never going to come true for the birds.

Speaker 39 Got more birds in there.

Speaker 11 This sanctuary is home to the Twinnies, Paula and Bridget Powers.

Speaker 46 So these are some of the birds outside here.

Speaker 11 They're famous around the world

Speaker 45 for speaking in unison, but also the incredible work they've dedicated their lives to.

Speaker 11 Relying on donations, they save injured birds, rehabilitate them before releasing the feathered friends back into the wild.

Speaker 17 Couldn't be more normal.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 21 What a country. I think that's great.

Speaker 5 Look, it's me and my sister who's also me.

Speaker 21 And what do we do? We go to nursing school for what?

Speaker 9 Birds. And that's great.

Speaker 33 Why not?

Speaker 21 If that's what brings you joy, you know?

Speaker 1 There's a lot in the, in, in the, what was their names again?

Speaker 2 Paula, Paula, and Bridget.

Speaker 27 Bridget and Paula Powers.

Speaker 19 Actually, Kenny's little sisters.

Speaker 30 Yep.

Speaker 1 This is the spin-off. This is in the Kenny Bowers cinematic universe.
Bridget and Paula are,

Speaker 1 it seems, extraordinarily famous in Australia for being twinnies, which is either a thing that all Australians call twins or just them.

Speaker 19 That's a good point. We don't know.

Speaker 20 Hard to know.

Speaker 7 How could we? Twinnies.

Speaker 18 No way to look at twinnies. Twinnies.

Speaker 1 Never going to successfully Google that result.

Speaker 8 And twins.

Speaker 22 Remember that?

Speaker 20 Remember when Coors Light?

Speaker 19 Was that Coors Light? Um, yeah,

Speaker 7 I remember the out of that. And twins.

Speaker 8 I love burritos at 4 a.m.

Speaker 19 Drinking with my friends and twins.

Speaker 50 I love football on TV.

Speaker 50 Shots of Gina Lee.

Speaker 50 Hanging with my friends and twins.

Speaker 50 I

Speaker 50 love burritos at 4 a.m.

Speaker 50 Parties that never end.

Speaker 50 Talks that love chats and twins.

Speaker 19 They're related. Yeah.
So it's like, I don't think I want to be a part of it.

Speaker 20 I'm an accessory to something.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I don't, maybe for, I mean, I guess maybe for looking, because it's it to a man, I guess a simple-minded core is like man and the one that they're portraying in that commercial.

Speaker 19 I guess it's too of a good thing.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 19 But it's like, wouldn't you rather just an unrelated other hot lady?

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 19 I don't think we need to have

Speaker 23 two sisters that can't kiss.

Speaker 9 Hear me out.

Speaker 21 And friends.

Speaker 14 I guess two women who are friends.

Speaker 7 Maybe that.

Speaker 40 Right.

Speaker 5 That's a pitch.

Speaker 3 If I could go back and talk to that guy.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now that I think about it, like the entire

Speaker 1 subplot of the season of the White Lotus was essentially like...

Speaker 7 Not watch it.

Speaker 30 So look at him instead. I didn't know.

Speaker 1 It's like, what if two siblings, you know?

Speaker 21 There's a lot.

Speaker 21 There's some Herky jerky between siblings.

Speaker 9 Spoiler, if you haven't seen it. No.

Speaker 1 It's emphasis on. Disturbing.

Speaker 7 Jerky?

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 19 So a hand job happens.

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Sure does.

Speaker 5 Is there more stuff about the twins with the birds?

Speaker 1 So now that we've established that we don't think they should be making out with each other.

Speaker 20 Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 19 I'm glad we did cover that.

Speaker 13 Doing anything like that.

Speaker 1 Right. I do want to point out that these twins have said in the Australian press that they have never had a boyfriend, either of them,

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 they do everything together. And that would be...

Speaker 19 My girls have solved that.

Speaker 19 Extreme sisters have solved that.

Speaker 1 They think it's weird. The twinnies think it's weird.
Your twins.

Speaker 19 They had the same boyfriend and they wanted to marry him, but they couldn't find anywhere where the Darn laws would allow it.

Speaker 9 That sounds right.

Speaker 48 We're thinking we want to start a family soon.

Speaker 38 Soon.

Speaker 48 We want to know our options.

Speaker 43 And you have partners?

Speaker 48 We share our partner.

Speaker 19 And we see us having a child with him.

Speaker 48 Well, both of us, not just one child, two babies.

Speaker 43 So

Speaker 48 she needs to be pregnant and I need to be pregnant at exactly the same time.

Speaker 1 In the meantime, let's contemplate the unfortunate circumstance that our 20s in Australia found themselves in. Oh, good.
There's more. Which is that their bird sanctuary

Speaker 1 was running out of money.

Speaker 14 Oh, no.

Speaker 7 Holy shit. How's that happen?

Speaker 1 Well, they needed a solution.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 1 Enter a gentleman named Peter.

Speaker 42 Are they going to date him? I'm scared of this.

Speaker 51 We felt like tapping in the town in many times, but when we look into the bird's eyes, no, we can't.

Speaker 51 We knew in our hearts that Peter was a lovely man.

Speaker 52 We should call him St.

Speaker 51 Peter.

Speaker 35 I'm going to hate getting old

Speaker 35 because

Speaker 51 we're going to still be worrying about the birds. We just hope we get the younger generation coming through and have the passion what we have.

Speaker 43 It's not a princess's job whatsoever of the morning.

Speaker 51 We love getting our hands dirty.

Speaker 46 We're still pinching ourselves. He should be called St.
Peter.

Speaker 11 The good doctor's donation securing the future of the Twinnies operation.

Speaker 46 When we first met Peter, we knew that he had a heart.

Speaker 5 Didn't it seem like the one almost kissed Peter that one day?

Speaker 39 I didn't see that.

Speaker 46 Like some birds can be in care.

Speaker 6 Accidental hug almost became a

Speaker 49 three months or up to a couple of years,

Speaker 46 but they end up going back to the wild.

Speaker 24 Nobody gets frustrated.

Speaker 19 They can't finish it. That's not what I was going to say.
Nobody ever goes like, that's not actually not where I was going with that.

Speaker 19 Because I'll tell you, that's Dan and I think that's how we talk. We would love to both tell the same story, but we're both saying different things.

Speaker 21 I will say, in that context specifically, the idea of someone telling your story with you who tells it the way you want it told is really beautiful.

Speaker 21 Have you ever been at a meal where the other member of the couple wants to tell the story slightly differently?

Speaker 19 Which we all just were.

Speaker 7 Tortured. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 21 Whoever starts the story, it's their story. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Lay off.

Speaker 1 We should recognize that

Speaker 1 Bridget or Paula definitely almost kissed Peter. Yeah.
Accidentally.

Speaker 17 Can I play that part again?

Speaker 46 And if we're still pinching ourselves, he should be called St. Peter.

Speaker 45 You already did that, Joe.

Speaker 11 A good doctor's donation.

Speaker 42 So,

Speaker 22 Biauser, the sparks flew.

Speaker 7 Absolutely crackling. Wow.

Speaker 16 Just some real Benson Stabler energy. Exactly.

Speaker 35 Exactly.

Speaker 45 Will they? Won't they? Can they? Legally?

Speaker 42 Maloney and Hargate.

Speaker 7 Whoa.

Speaker 35 Look at that. Look at that.

Speaker 19 These two are so lovable. These are such lovable twinnies.

Speaker 30 Yeah. I will say.

Speaker 42 I would say relatively adorable, but still vaguely, there's something unnerving.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 19 Have you opened your Instagram messages within the last week? No. I got a prompt that was like, chat with AI, you know, when it's like new feature.
And it said, chat with AI. And I was like, no.

Speaker 19 And when you hit X, it still took me to the like landing page of like, these are some AIs you could chat with if you wanted to. And like, there was one named Kendrick Lamar.

Speaker 19 There was one called Emo Boy. And then the one that had the most interaction, something like 649,000 interactions was named Stepsister.
And I was like, what's this? It's like, what? I mean, you know.

Speaker 19 But if it's not your stepsister, then whose, the fact that it's somebody's stepsister is enough to make you be like,

Speaker 19 like, it's not even up to, it's not your step. And why do you want to talk to an AI stepsister? What is this? Uh,

Speaker 10 what's up, listeners? I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, I certainly dreamed big. I think when we were all kids, we dreamed big, whether we wanted to be astronauts, presidents.

Speaker 10 Personally, I wanted to be a pitcher for the then Florida Marlins. Now, we're dreaming of something else, like owning our own businesses.
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Go to shopify.com/slash batard. Shopify.com/slash batard.

Speaker 1 Well, Well, this Filipino Pope.

Speaker 21 There could be a Filipino Pope. There really is.
She could be.

Speaker 25 That's so important to you.

Speaker 28 Did you see Conclave? I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen it yet. Guys?

Speaker 43 The Pope is dead.

Speaker 15 The throne

Speaker 43 is vacant.

Speaker 21 To me, what Conclave is, and I'm sure I'm wrong, is it's a bunch of popes.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 19 It's a bunch of wannabe popes. Yeah.
To me, what was so interesting about it, great actors, great cast.

Speaker 9 Rafe Fiennes.

Speaker 40 That's right.

Speaker 19 Who turned out to be, he's like kind of a dingus in real life, right? But he's didn't he do something annoying. Didn't he do something annoying at the

Speaker 29 I only know that he's ripped.

Speaker 19 Is he the one who threw his gum at his wife and was like

Speaker 6 Ray Fiennes is jacked?

Speaker 5 Ray Fienz is did you say he's yoked?

Speaker 19 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 17 Absolutely.

Speaker 20 What is going on?

Speaker 19 You think he doesn't get naked as the Pope in the Pope movie? You don't think I see that in the Pope movie? Wait, Conclave?

Speaker 7 No, you don't. You don't see that.

Speaker 22 Sam.

Speaker 19 But here's what I liked about Conclave. It's basically war, right? It's a bunch of people from different countries all over the world wanting to seize the highest power in the church, the papacy.

Speaker 23 Papacy. Papacy.
Damn.

Speaker 19 I say it like the smear.

Speaker 18 I say it like the smear.

Speaker 19 So it's a war, but it can't be violent, right? You can't actually be violent, and you're supposed to stay moral.

Speaker 53 If you want to defeat

Speaker 1 it, this is a conclave, Aldo.

Speaker 53 It's not a war.

Speaker 7 It is a war.

Speaker 53 And you have to commit to a side.

Speaker 19 And so, like, you see people try to like cheat their way into winning, and they get caught.

Speaker 19 And then, like, the head, whoever's running the conclave has to, like, figure out how God would want us to deal with this. So, it's like a moral compass.

Speaker 19 It's a heavily moral war acted by great actors.

Speaker 25 And it's good.

Speaker 19 So, it's really good. Yeah.

Speaker 31 I like that.

Speaker 19 But it made me really interested for this now because now, but I don't think it happens right away. I don't think it's going to happen till May.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got weeks, I was told, by

Speaker 19 May is soon.

Speaker 13 And by Google search.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 42 Well, Frontrunner, as I'm told, on the betting markets, and I'm glad that there are betting markets on this.

Speaker 18 Really wrong.

Speaker 29 The homie is Filipino.

Speaker 32 That's right.

Speaker 21 His name is, say it with me three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Cardinal Luis Antonio.

Speaker 1 I can't pronounce his last name.

Speaker 28 Say it with me.

Speaker 2 I don't know what a Tagle is.

Speaker 32 Tagle.

Speaker 5 Luis Antonio Tagle.

Speaker 19 Well, that wouldn't be his name if he became Pope, to be clear.

Speaker 7 They changed

Speaker 17 right, right, right.

Speaker 12 What is he doing?

Speaker 30 What should he call himself? Pius.

Speaker 19 Pius is a great. What's the other good pope name that's a word?

Speaker 1 Pope Jeff. Pope Jeff.

Speaker 17 first.

Speaker 19 There's like a Pope.

Speaker 30 Pope John. It's like something.
No, but it's a word.

Speaker 19 It's like pious is a word. There's another one that's like a word.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is a good one. Let's do some.

Speaker 6 But pious, they don't do it the English way.

Speaker 17 They do it the Latin way, right?

Speaker 19 P-I-O-U-S, I thought. Oh, I thought it was a bit.

Speaker 23 Oh, is it P-I-U-S?

Speaker 30 It might be.

Speaker 14 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 Popular papal names.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 7 John. Papular.
Paul.

Speaker 6 Papular. Did everybody hear that?

Speaker 17 Yeah. Benedict.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Gregory, Clement, Leo, Innocent.

Speaker 19 Innocent. That's a good name.

Speaker 1 Stephen, Celestine,

Speaker 1 Anacletus, Marcellus, Sixtus, Paul, Urban, Boniface, Alexander, Victor, Damascus, Evaristus, Hilarious.

Speaker 5 Are there this many popes that these can all be considered popular pope names?

Speaker 12 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 19 I do think so. How many popes have there been?

Speaker 26 Lots.

Speaker 9 Like, like 10.

Speaker 21 You know, very

Speaker 7 100. How many?

Speaker 19 Two?

Speaker 19 120.

Speaker 12 That's a great question.

Speaker 7 Three, two, one.

Speaker 8 98.

Speaker 31 98 popes.

Speaker 1 The number of all popes to the present.

Speaker 17 I'm going 126.

Speaker 1 264.

Speaker 19 I started up. Hi, I should have stayed there.

Speaker 17 Wow.

Speaker 3 I wasn't even at 50%.

Speaker 1 Now imagine this is to the lyrics and the songbook of Mambo number five. Yes.
Avaristus, Hilarious, Hyginus, Linus, Epharinus,

Speaker 1 Calixtus, and Felix, Anastasius, and Valentinus, and Constantinus, and Dionysus.

Speaker 28 Dionysus.

Speaker 23 Too close to the sun.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 33 Right?

Speaker 38 No.

Speaker 7 That's Icarus.

Speaker 27 His dad was Daedalus.

Speaker 19 That's who I was thinking of.

Speaker 24 Yeah, Daidalus.

Speaker 19 What did Dionysus do?

Speaker 17 God of wine.

Speaker 7 Ah.

Speaker 25 Wow, I like that pope.

Speaker 17 That's a Bacchanal god.

Speaker 2 That's a cool pope.

Speaker 28 That's a fun pope.

Speaker 14 Hey, that's a fun pope.

Speaker 29 I wouldn't think you would do a pope named after a Roman god.

Speaker 21 That would seem like

Speaker 14 a conflict of godliness.

Speaker 19 They didn't really care about the conflict, right, didn't they? Because didn't they?

Speaker 13 Oh, Dionysus.

Speaker 19 Didn't they adapt the symbol of the thing that they did?

Speaker 21 I have absolutely no idea.

Speaker 5 Three people who don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 8 Antoine.

Speaker 21 But wait, so the Filipino guy could be the Pope. That's right.
What I'm reading in Newsweek is we could have a Filipino Pope.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Has there been a Filipino Pope before?

Speaker 7 I assume not.

Speaker 29 We're talking Hondo P white Popes, right?

Speaker 7 Check them out. Luis Antonio Tagle.

Speaker 19 They've all been white?

Speaker 6 I assume so.

Speaker 1 Have all the popes been white?

Speaker 21 Show me

Speaker 33 Indian Pope.

Speaker 1 Well, we got an Argentinian Pope. He gets really into the

Speaker 1 world.

Speaker 19 He was born in Argentina.

Speaker 29 He should be Argentinian and still be white, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 42 I think that guy's white.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 I'm not going to say anything in this discussion.

Speaker 7 I don't.

Speaker 1 100%

Speaker 7 white. Wow.

Speaker 17 Hundo P. White.

Speaker 19 So it's time. The time has come.

Speaker 1 I think it's time for a Filipino Pope.

Speaker 3 Look, what I'm reading about this guy is he's relatively progressive. You're not going to get it.

Speaker 5 You're not going to get it all the way.

Speaker 28 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 31 You are never going to get it.

Speaker 1 A progressive ecclesiological vision.

Speaker 5 And you know that vision's got to to be ecclesiological.

Speaker 7 No question.

Speaker 30 What does it mean?

Speaker 1 You know, sure.

Speaker 21 But if I didn't, well, I think ecclesiological means like of or pertaining to the study of the church.

Speaker 29 Oh, and then, and then progress.

Speaker 42 So progressive.

Speaker 17 So he's progressive then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. He also is known for celebrating Mass in a folksy and casual manner.
Love that.

Speaker 16 Love Jesus.

Speaker 12 Absolutely love that.

Speaker 14 Absolutely love it.

Speaker 54 Before coming here, I asked the Holy Father if he had a message for you.

Speaker 54 He said,

Speaker 54 conversion to the Eucharist. Then he turned to me and said, behave well.

Speaker 17 I love that.

Speaker 42 A priest who starts every service with, listen up, y'all.

Speaker 19 Flip the chair around.

Speaker 24 Sit down.

Speaker 32 Low-key, we're going to heaven.

Speaker 42 We're in low-key.

Speaker 7 You need to talk about it.

Speaker 23 He's wearing a tank top.

Speaker 19 The papacy.

Speaker 7 The papacy.

Speaker 19 You know how it happens? They take a vote, the initial vote. They count the votes.
You have to have some percentage of the votes.

Speaker 7 All the cardinals are the ones that vote.

Speaker 7 They all get called into a college of cardinals.

Speaker 20 They all get called into a conference.

Speaker 7 You got your Albert Pooh Holes.

Speaker 28 Nice.

Speaker 20 Star Rollin'. Good.

Speaker 19 That's it. Can't name any others.
Those are the two. Lock them basically up.
They lock them up in like a stake cache with all the cardinals. And then every day, I think sometimes there's two votes.

Speaker 19 They do a vote. They pull the names.

Speaker 19 They give you you like, okay, so those are our top names. Now we discuss.

Speaker 19 Now we figure out where the votes are going. And then like they do a second vote.
And it doesn't end until somebody gets, I want to say, 80%

Speaker 25 of the vote.

Speaker 19 And then that's the new pope. And then the smoke is what's going on.

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 A two-thirds majority is what you need. Okay.
So 80 votes if there are 120 voting cardinals present.

Speaker 19 Which shouldn't there be?

Speaker 19 Don't we live in a world? We can all agree.

Speaker 3 They all got to be there, right? It's not you can be like, oh, I can't, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm in. You're not zooming in.

Speaker 29 I'm in Cabo or whatever.

Speaker 19 Well, there's one who comes late.

Speaker 45 Pope Dionysius is.

Speaker 21 Yeah, Pope Hilarious is like, I can't.

Speaker 42 I got two shows at the Chuckle Hut.

Speaker 19 Kind of married to Alec Baldwin.

Speaker 5 Nice.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 19 Another bleak reality show about families if you were looking for one.

Speaker 1 Another person who is actually white and not Latin American.

Speaker 26 Yes, that's true.

Speaker 19 Ilaria. Ilaria.

Speaker 2 How you say cucumber.

Speaker 19 How you say.

Speaker 30 How you say. How you say.

Speaker 21 But I mean, that's going to be, just, I'm just saying for Filipinos, that's going to be huge. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 It's going to be huge.

Speaker 7 It's going to be huge.

Speaker 18 Oh my God.

Speaker 32 And every,

Speaker 20 you guys aren't going to shut up about it.

Speaker 7 You're right.

Speaker 31 We're not going to. I'm going to.

Speaker 28 It's going to be super religious.

Speaker 18 I'm going to get to church.

Speaker 19 Yeah, you guys are going to be super religious all of a sudden.

Speaker 22 Going to mass every day.

Speaker 33 I'm in a pop-hat 24-7 with my mom telling everybody, that's your cousin.

Speaker 14 She's going to be telling everybody that.

Speaker 21 I promise you, my mom's like, we know him.

Speaker 6 That's our friend.

Speaker 1 I did already Google like Luis Antonio Tagle family tree. I'm like, come on.

Speaker 31 I got to be on here.

Speaker 31 I got to be on.

Speaker 16 Ancestry.com, Brisbane.

Speaker 19 Check up on your ancestry. See if you became more Pope-y.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 21 That is true, though. I'm going to be so Catholic.

Speaker 31 I'm going to be more Catholic than anybody. I'm going to go all the way.

Speaker 33 I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 24 You're coming to Mass. Oh, yeah.
You coming over to Mass?

Speaker 31 Going to Mass every day.

Speaker 12 I'm having that

Speaker 21 the incense.

Speaker 33 this thing when you swing around i'm going to have that

Speaker 19 i don't think we're supposed to do that i think that's for them to do filipinos get to do do that?

Speaker 14 They're saying we can do it.

Speaker 20 Because your cousin's the Pope.

Speaker 30 They're saying we can do it.

Speaker 1 If you're cousins with the Pope, you can swing the incense around.

Speaker 33 Swing the thing around?

Speaker 16 Like a last one. Can I do the bell? Yes.

Speaker 42 I'm empowering you to do that.

Speaker 41 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you podcast with a Filipino, you also get to

Speaker 35 ring the honorary. The Nepho bell ringer.

Speaker 1 What I found out today on this episode of Polytory Finds Out of Show about finding out some stuff is that you're not going to hear out there one of the segments we taped.

Speaker 19 Thank God. And what I learned today is to shut my mouth sometimes.
We talked about too many things and most of them bad. And I won't be participating in any discourse around this episode.

Speaker 19 I probably won't even cross-post any clips. I apologize to your lovely, wonderful production staff.

Speaker 17 They're all asleep.

Speaker 5 They haven't been there for hours.

Speaker 21 I learned today that some twins are really twinning it. Yeah.

Speaker 14 They're really going all the way.

Speaker 30 And the others are lazy.

Speaker 21 And the other, you know what?

Speaker 42 Try harder. Step it up.
I always say.

Speaker 20 Step it up, Dan and Jeffrey Bloom

Speaker 19 from my middle school.

Speaker 19 That's and I also think high school. You're going after me, which is actually just an annoying echo.

Speaker 1 So I feel like you need to work a little bit more.

Speaker 19 Is it that I talk too fast?

Speaker 5 Yours is more of a

Speaker 29 really quick parrot. You know what I mean? A parrot who's like, I got this.

Speaker 19 you know a good parrot did i say what i learned you did okay good yeah do you want did you learn a second thing you can learn you can say anything you learned no i think i'm in charge now right yeah yeah yeah we're gonna edit this into a coors light musical number love 4 a.m is too late for a burrito 3 a.m is dicey yeah 2 a.m fine burritos at 4 a.m i love burritos at 4 a.m is like i love having diarrhea at seven ayam yeah i love pizza at 4 a.m i'm not burritos at 4 a.m.

Speaker 19 is like it's more involved.

Speaker 22 You go home, you drunk order a burrito.

Speaker 33 I don't know. At 4 a.m.

Speaker 21 I have a burrito because what I like is gastrointestinal distress.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 21 I want to be in constant pain.

Speaker 19 I become a burrito. Uh-huh.
I roll up in my blanket.

Speaker 14 Maybe that's what he means.

Speaker 32 Maybe he's kind of with cheese.

Speaker 19 With cheese and beans.

Speaker 17 And twins.

Speaker 8 And twins.

Speaker 1 Pablo Torre Finds Out is produced by Walter Aberoma, Ryan Cortez, Sam Dawig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McRae, Rachel Miller-Howard, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor, Chris Tumanello, and Juliet Warren.

Speaker 1 Our studio engineering by RG Systems, our sound design by NGW Post, our theme song, as always, is by John Bravo.

Speaker 1 We will talk to you next time.