Share & Cinderella & Tell with Lucy Rohden and Rodger Sherman

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I've been thinking about this a lot in recent days, and like the conference tournament season is the number one event for like the third-tier sporting arenas, besides like...

AEW wrestling.

And it's also the number one week for Red Panda.

She does like three tournaments that week.

i don't know like how she travels so efficiently does red panda have a private jet is the question because she'll be at the big ten tournament and the next day she's in charlotte red panda absolutely does not have a private jet i don't know no

she got she lost her her unicycle on the on the on the in in transit one time well that's why she needs one but the list of people who deserve a private jet number one is red panda i believe so i remember one time the acc and the big east were both in new york the acc was at barclays and red panda did both and i was like good good pull red panda that's like deion sanders

yeah

no one no one does it like her um she's a star should be a hall of famer we've we've tried to crusade for this it's a it's a we continue to crusade for this it's a poblatory topic for i mean she's just the greatest

and you know something every time when i saw her at both the big east and the acc both times i was like this is incredible this is better than This is better than the basketball.

Have you seen the Chihuahua guy?

You know, he's trying to steal her thunder.

It is pretty cool, though.

That dog does crazy tricks.

So Chihuahua guy,

for those who are not familiar with Chihuahua guy, the Chihuahua does what?

He just like jumps and like climbs over the person.

Like it's, it's, it's hard to explain, but he's doing like cool tricks.

It's like acrobatics, but for a Chihuahua, but the like.

But he the course is the person.

The guy is the the course yeah but i think they also have other courses too i think he brings props i've only seen the guy as the course i saw him last year and i tweeted about it and i was like for a second i thought it was just a guy doing like gymnastics by himself and then the chihuahua came out and i was pumped and he he replied like yeah this is my life like no one is there for me everyone's here for the chihuahua i believe that he went to illinois state because i have a friend who went to illinois this is a deep cut that i have a friend that went to Illinois State and I'm pretty sure that they have like a good circus program.

Like that's something that they have.

Like I know Florida State has a good circus program, but I think that Illinois State does as well.

But I'm not positive.

Christian Stoynev,

Illinois State graduate, 2013.

You know what's and Scooby.

Scooby is the Chihuahua.

Scooby.

The, the, the, the, the chihuahua that sits atop the uh physical human platform that is Christian.

You know, who's making a, who I've seen in recent weeks, who is definitely at multiple tournaments.

There's a woman who does jump ropes and on the other end of the jump rope is a dog and then jumping the jump rope in the middle is a third dog.

What?

Yeah, she was at multiple conference tournaments.

It's a big week for the halftime entertainers of the world.

It is.

We don't really think about that, but you're totally right.

You're totally right that on the calendar,

when it comes to monetizing your dog,

it's your

talented dogs.

That's right.

It's talented dog season.

That's so cool.

Have you guys seen the dog that paints and like paints really well?

Does it do basketball games?

Yeah, it does a halftime game.

I hope it does.

It's just like on TikTok.

I believe it will become a halftime.

It's in the cool dog season.

But this dog can pick up a brush with its teeth and actually paint something kind of beautiful.

But it also makes me think it's a little fake because aren't dogs colorblind?

How can you tell what the colors of the sky are?

TikTok has flooded the zone with pets doing cool stuff, but I only care if they can do it in the seven minutes in between the end of the second quarter and the teams coming out for warm-ups.

If you can massage that into something at home and turn it into like a video,

I don't believe it.

I don't buy it.

I need to see it in person

before the team comes out to shoot some 16-footers.

Roger Sherman, Lucy Rodine.

I

am not somebody who goes on the road anymore in the ways that I want to.

But how would you mathematically add up how much time you spent at college campuses over the last year between the two of you?

I went to 19 games.

I actually did the math.

So I went to 62 games in the 2023 season, which is nuts.

And this season, I did not do that.

This season, I slept.

That was like a one-time bit for me.

Lucy has now done multiple seasons of like seeing dozens of games.

So

we're probably,

you'll probably catch me next year.

Lucy's frowning at her cell phone.

I went to 19 games.

I took 42 flights there.

And I got the stomach virus one time, and that was bad.

One time feels based on the total

opportunities to get various stomach viruses, not bad.

Yeah, it was not good.

It was not good at all.

Was it a Tracy Morgan at Madison Square Garden situation?

It was a.

Is he okay?

I am told, so I conducted a brief investigation.

I am told sources close to Tracy Morgan informed me that he is okay.

Okay.

I've been there.

You got Tracy Morgan sources?

Roger, I got sources you've never even dreamed of.

That's incredible.

Dang, that's really cool.

I got the stomach virus in a rental car, so that was horrible.

That was the

decoy court courtside at the garden.

No, it was the worst, one of the worst days of my life.

From a, like a stadium food?

We were, I, I don't know what it was from.

We were leaving the University of South Carolina and I was driving to my dad's house in North Carolina.

So it's like a three-ish hour drive.

Easy for me.

I drive across the country all the time casually, but we're going and I'm not feeling the best.

I'm not feeling the best.

And as I merge onto the highway, there's nowhere for me to go.

We're merging onto the interstate.

I I throw up everywhere.

And then this is so gross.

And I don't know why I'm telling people this.

So I use my hand because it's, ah, you trying to catch it?

You're trying to catch it.

I wasn't trying to.

It was an instinct.

I'm trying to see the road.

And so goes everywhere.

I have to drive like this.

I'm covered in vomit.

I'm sobbing hysterically, hysterically.

I had a matcha, so it's all green and gross.

It's just the worst.

I'm just sobbing.

And I call my dad and he's like, have you been in an accident?

I'm like, worse.

I threw up all over myself.

This is terrible.

I pull over at a gas station.

I'm just crying and crying and crying.

I'm covered in vomit.

And so I have to take all my clothes off because I'm covered in vomit, but I'm covered in so much vomit that I'm basically naked in this parking lot.

And you can't tell because there's so much vomit on me.

It was a really bad day.

Sharon tell.

I apologize for laughing.

This is the first time I've been on this show.

This is how everyone's going to know me, the vomit girl.

One quick question.

Is there any chance because it was so green that people were like,

that's not vomit?

I don't know what they thought.

Like it was everywhere.

It was in my hair.

It was on my face.

It was all over my body.

And this was a crowded like gas station in South Carolina for some reason.

Everybody was there and I was like, I don't care.

I will say that father of the year, I got back.

I'm like sobbing and covered in vomit.

And my dad was like, just go throw up.

And he cleaned out all the vomit for me.

Oh, man.

And he didn't get the stomach virus, which that kind of pissed me off.

Like, thanks for your help, but you should have gotten it.

I should have been contagious.

Which is all to say that in the time that you guys hung out together, Roger remained unvomited upon.

No, I never puked.

I did not know you as

a vomiter, a projectile vomiter.

And now that so bad.

It was like the exorcist.

I'm really glad we asked her.

I wasn't expecting that much detail about the vomit.

Like,

I thought she was just going to say, yeah, it was bad.

And

this is, this is the journalism that we all aspire to.

It was so bad.

It was awful.

Tough, tough scene.

So this is the time when we contemplate,

yeah, the cosmic celestial fates of the teams on this bracket.

They gave us paper brackets.

We have paper.

I don't have a printed out paper bracket.

I'm so excited.

You guys have spent so much time around college students, college athletes, that your interpretation of how this is going to go.

from a metaphysical level is actually news I could use.

And Roger, I feel like you have done, as is your want, as is your Substacks whole deal, a genuinely insane amount of research.

So how do you assess the four quadrants on this bracket?

First of all, I don't pay attention to any

of the teams with single digits.

There's several teams that are apparently good at college basketball this year.

We're not here to talk about those.

No.

We're here to talk about the teams that went like 17 and one in their conferences.

And I believe they can pull the upset.

And also they've never been to the NCA tournament before.

And also they have a unique mascot.

Those are who I'm honed in on.

So just for the record, though, so like Duke and Cooper Flag, who?

Not interested, but the fact that Cooper Flag's mom is very angry at

Carolina.

Lucy is already making noises.

So my brother texted me that when she wrote like this full Facebook post, basically being like, Carolina fans suck.

And I'm so happy we beat you and I don't care because the worst fan experience I've ever had in my life was at a UNC game and I know that everything she said is true.

Everything.

I'll set the scene since you asked.

16 years old, a young Lucy, full of hopes and dreams.

Okay.

That's different from me now.

No more hopes and dreams.

Those are gone.

This guy took it.

He just got vomited out in a Nissan Central.

Yeah, pretty much.

Full bad times.

So Iowa was playing UNC in the Big Ten ACC challenge and me and my little brother went.

And Iowa beat UNC.

They never should have.

It was one of the worst basketball games I've ever seen in my life.

Like it was genuinely a terrible game.

But I'm from North Carolina, so it was super exciting because me and my brother never get to see Iowa play.

I believe it was the first time that UNC had lost at home as a ranked team to an unranked team.

It was a crazy upset that wasn't even important.

It was like a Tuesday in December.

It was the Big Ten ACC Challenge.

Who cares?

And we're sitting there and me and my brother are celebrating.

And this guy turns around.

he's sitting in front of me and he's like, you're the reason UNC lost.

Me?

Lucy?

Like, that's impressive from one 16-year-old.

Yeah.

And I was like, um, no, sir, I'm sorry.

Like, it was just, uh, you know, you can't win them all, whatever.

And I'm 16 years.

You realize when you're doing the Lucy 16-year-old voice, it's literally the same as Lucy in the present tense voice.

Yeah, but imagine me looking, I actually pretty much look 16 right now.

15.

I looked 12 at the time, which is important for the story, actually.

So he's like, you're the reason UNC lost.

I'm like, hey, man, no, I'm not.

I didn't do anything.

And I was really nice.

Like, I was like, hey, I'm sorry.

Like, you know, these things happen.

And he was like, who do you think you are coming to a basketball game cheering like that?

I said, what?

I feel like this is the one socially acceptable place for me to do that.

And like, I'm, I'm a kid.

I'm like, what?

And he's got to be in his 70s.

Like, he's, he's got a sweater vest on.

And so I'm like, um,

you know, it's.

I'm sorry, sir.

It's just a basketball game.

Like, we never get to see our favorite team.

Like, and they won.

Like, it's a big deal for us.

And he hits me.

What?

I know.

I was a child.

I was a baby.

So he shoves me.

He pushes me back into my seat.

I'm like, what?

What?

I'm sorry.

I got assaulted.

I feel like I am responsible for retroactively filing a police report.

So here's how that went.

So I'm like, what?

I was just hit by an old man and his wife is like, oh no.

But these lovely Iowa fans had come and sat with us during the game.

So one of them was a professor of law at Wake Forest.

And she was like, hey, man, you just assaulted a 12-year-old, which by the way, we had been talking the whole game.

And I was like, oh, she's thought I was 12 years old this whole time.

Like, that really hurts my feelings.

And it looks like I was 12 years old.

And I was dressed like I was 12 years old.

Like, I was dressed way too intensely for a Tuesday night basketball game in Chapel Hill.

So they had to go get security because, well, he hit me.

So security comes and my dad's like, we need to get out of here.

We have to leave.

And I was like, no, we have to, we have to stay with Tiffany.

She fought for my honor.

And then he was like, no, we have to leave.

And I left and I was like, I will never go to Carolina because that's the school I wanted to go to.

And I hate them.

So when Cooper Flag's mom was like, yeah, these fans sucked and they were horrible.

I knew she was telling the truth.

Right.

So in other words,

quote, a big F you to the entire Carolina fan base for being classless a-holes.

Yeah, I bet it was that guy.

Well, I bet it was him.

Our investigation continues.

Generally, the

understanding in the college basketball universe is that Duke is the evil one of the two schools.

Correct.

No.

It's UNC and we just didn't realize it all these years.

It was UNC.

Like the thing with Duke is like I do think that they can be holes, but they like really get into the games.

They're a very passionate fan base.

UNC fans show up, but they don't really get into it.

They're a very wine and cheese crowd.

So for me, 16-year-old Lucy that could have passed for 12, when she showed up and she was cheering and having a good time, it was like the cardinal sin.

I find it very difficult to disagree with your rankings of who's the bigger hole based on your personal experience.

I was hit.

I was assaulted.

Roger's writing down notes.

No, I'm just crossing UNC off.

Yeah.

When they look, when they, it like created like a life like I'm not.

I'm going to cross UNC off too.

I just remembered another place I met you, which was the Duke's Mayo Bowl between West Virginia and North Carolina, where we were on the sidelines with the North Carolina Ram.

Yes.

Ramseys.

Ramseys, yes.

Balls are huge.

Really.

Very,

you know, they tend to focus on the front with the horns, but there's, it's, it's a ram.

It's not a sheep.

It's insane.

Like, it's jarring.

A giant ball.

Hold on, hold on.

You're saying this is the real life ram.

Yes, yes, yes.

With anatomically, like just in real life.

He has horns painted blue.

The costume mascot, no testicles.

Yeah, not correct.

Not, I mean,

not that we can see.

I was wearing clothings.

I once went, so I used to cover the NCAA tournament for Sports Illustrated all the time.

And I remember going into a bathroom at a regional and into the bathroom, as I was at the urinal, walked Ramsey's and he went into a stall.

And now I realize if I had peeked into that stall, I would have seen some

things.

Wait, wait, the costume mascot.

Okay.

I think I could do a photo of

this.

Yeah, that's a fun part of being a college basketball.

That might also be illegal.

There's like, if you go to a college basketball tournament and you have a press pass and you're in the behind-the-scenes area, you will see a lot of mascots like with their

head off drinking like some Gatorade or whatever to stay.

Yeah, real like Disneyland Mickey Mouse smoking a cigarette.

Voice.

I remember I was at the St.

Peter's one a couple of years ago and like

at UNC, there must be like 20 guys like trying to be the UNC mascot, but like the St.

Peter's guy was really chill.

And I just remember him walking off the walking out of the area and just being like, hey, where's the pizza?

And I was like,

I just, he was definitely less of a professional than the the other mascots on the scene.

So just to keep the country.

He lost to North Carolina, too.

You ruined everything.

We've already talked about

a prodigious amount of vomit, an alleged assault,

someone being,

and then also the mascot of a school that is presumably based on the guy who makes the decision on whether you go to hell or not in St.

Peter's.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's, there's like a lot going on.

What was the word you said?

Metaphysical, cosmological?

Yeah.

There's a lot of that going on.

But the West region, Roger, sorry, we derailed you in ways that are now too difficult to summarize.

I was assaulted.

It's fair for me to do that.

I will not be silent.

I can't stop laughing at your general suffering.

So going, going region by region here in the West.

You know, again, once again, we're skipping all the single-digit seeds.

We're here just to talk about the University of Nebraska at Omaha and their first NCA tournament, the 15 seed.

What I love about this team is that in December, when they were, I believe, four and nine, their team started a tradition of just beating the crap out of a trash can in the locker room before the games.

And it worked.

They were the best team in the summit league.

They won the conference.

They made the NCA tournament.

They got the bid.

And I think this is great strategy by them.

First of all, they really go at these trash cans.

I am now realizing that this is what I had previously only known as that trash can team.

Yeah, they really go at these trash cans.

I saw a video where one of the guys jumps off like a fridge onto it and does like a wrestling move, and he's like a player on the team.

And I was like, that seems like a lot of like a little risky move just to beat up a trash can.

So just

this is post-game,

and dude walks in,

and everybody is already in ceremonial

trash can destruction circle.

circle.

Yes.

It's a little violent.

The towel being snapped repeatedly only to

set up the elbow drop.

Trash cans are expensive.

That seems kind of wasteful.

I'm not sure if it's a BYO situation where they're at like a road game.

They're going to destroy your team's like a bunch of people.

That's a good question.

I'm not sure how they are handling the logistics of the NCA tournament.

You know, they're all going to neutral sites.

So

how did this start, though?

So like I was saying, they were four and nine and the assistant coach decided to do it as a motivational tool.

And people are like, it turned around their season after that point.

I think the actual thing that turned around their season is just that they had a really hard non-conference schedule and they were a pretty good team in the summit league.

And then they started conference play and they started winning.

So like incredible job by that assistant coach to realize the perfect time to deploy your motivational tactic is when your team has just played like Iowa State and I think like Minnesota and some other, you know, big non-conference teams.

And then the rest of your season is against South Dakota, South Dakota State, North Dakota, North Dakota State, St.

Thomas.

So smart thinking by him.

I also, there was a quote by,

I was reading one of the stories about the trash can situation, and he said he confirmed that none of the trash cans they beat up have mothers and fathers.

They're all

orphaned.

They're all legitimate.

I'm not sure what his point was there.

We're just

being orphaned.

We're just whipping these orphan.

I think he was trying to say like there's no one feeling bad on their behalf, but that somehow made it sadder to me.

This is a real, by the way, just a tremendous reclaiming of trash can beating that I thought the Astros had just totally monopolized.

And they're like, there's still, there's still meat left on the bone inside of this trash can.

The trash cans thought they were safe for a few years because the Astros really made it seem like that was an uncool thing to do.

And now everyone's beating up.

And what I really liked

when

they won the Summit League tournament,

I'm not sure how this fits into the mythology of it, but they were presented the trophy out of a...

out of a trash can.

Like

they hoisted it out of there, which was really beautiful.

Did they beat that trash can too?

They seemed pretty chill with that one.

Oh, that one had a family.

You You know, I don't know what happened.

I'm going to guess that they're going to guess that they eventually also beat that trash can, though.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Veeen Champain, a 14 alcoholic volume, reported by Remy Control, USA, Incorporated, New York, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Please drink responsibly.

The East Region, Roger, Roger, as you spin the globe.

Of the teams in this region, the one that I love the most is the Akron Zips.

I have come in my Akron Zips t-shirt.

So that's a kangaroo next to a giant letter A.

Yes.

Are you familiar?

Do you know the mascot?

Do you know the mascot of the Akron Zips?

I can only imagine that Zip is involved, but no.

There's a kangaroo, correct?

And do you know any other?

I know zero other facts about the Akron you know zip about that jesus christ that was i didn't plan that i'm just really funny what is a zip technically akron uh primarily produces two things rubber and and lebron james um

and

at some point in the 1920s or 30s the rubber companies also produced zippers

And like this is like, this was like new technology at the time.

Zippers are kind of one of those things that I assumed had been around for hundreds of years.

But like you watch like movies set in the 1800s and they all have like elaborate buckles and stuff.

They're not like there aren't zippers there.

Like we invented zippers at some point and it was new technology and the people in Akron were very excited about it so much so.

And I think it's associated with the rubber, like they were making rubber shoes with zippers on them or something like that.

The B.F.

Goodrich Company is what this Wikipedia page is instructing me to point out.

Which is separate from Goodyear, which is also a tire company based in Akron, Ohio.

And they have the Goodyear blimp there.

I flew in the Goodyear Blimp.

I'm getting off topic here.

When I was in Akron,

they let me fly in the Goodyear blimp wearing.

Anyway, so they named the team the Zippers, later shortened to zips, to celebrate Akron's zippers.

And they were like, what mascot do we have that we can, you know, signify the zipper?

So they decided to make a kangaroo with a pouch with a zipper on it, which this pouch does not.

I don't see a zipper.

But originally the pouch was zipped, you know, keep your babies from falling out, et cetera.

But here's what I think is great about this.

Only female kangaroos have pouches.

Yes.

Male kangaroos do not.

So they were, I believe, one of two Division I schools whose mascot is explicitly female, the other being the Delaware Blue Hens.

But which, you know, there's so many gamecocks and roosters, and the default is to make your mascot a guy, even if it's...

Yeah.

I mean, West Virginia has a literal coonskin cap-wearing, rifle-toting man.

And North Carolina has some

huge balls as established.

Just big old balls.

And

I had not thought about this statistic that the Delaware Blue Hens and the Akron Zips have the only explicitly female mascots.

I believe so.

I know that Akron is the only one in FBS football, like of the top tier.

I'm pretty confident there are no other explicitly female mascots out there.

In men's basketball, yes.

Normally, when a school has a mascot, it's either male or like at some cases like Florida,

they will have like, or NC State, they have the male and the female mascot, and there's always a really weird like dynamic fix.

That's a freaky dude.

Baylor has a male and a lady.

And they have to signify that one of them is male.

And that one is just like a default version of the animal.

Like, Albert the Gator just looks like an alligator walking on two legs.

Mr.

Wolf just looks like a wolf walking on two legs.

And then the female version, like, they always have lipstick,

which, which is not actually a thing that you put on animals.

And I know that the Mrs.

Wolf, she has like an apron.

I believe.

Yes, yes.

And they're always either like, there's always like a weird backstory where they're like either married or siblings.

Yeah, they always have Clemson doesn't have like, they have a regular tiger.

They don't have like a female version of it.

They have like a little one that there's, I've asked the relation and I asked the mascot directly.

So he wasn't able to speak to me, but he gave me thumbs up, thumbs down.

He said they're cousins.

The amount of reporting that has gone into these observations you've made is genuinely kind of breaking my brain.

But I'm just glad that Akron, when they came up with this mascot in the 40s and 50s, were laying out, you know, a vision for female sports fandom that you can be a lady kangaroo, and they didn't lipstick her up or put her in weird clothes.

Right.

I wouldn't even know.

You wouldn't even know.

It's just,

there's not that many differences in the wild between.

Although she is

gyrating.

There's something that that's in it.

I've seen some male mascots gyrate.

Well,

there's something in there.

I'm not, well, anyway, I don't want to.

Don't look at me.

Turn to the woman.

Ever since I found out that the kangaroo was female, I've gotten really uncomfortable with my observations about the kangaroo.

You went to the kangaroo, Papa?

I'm just saying.

I'm so happy we've talked about this.

Let's talk about all the lady mascots.

My favorite thing is when a school just adds lady in front of their mascots.

The lady bears.

The lady volunteers.

The lady volunteers, the lady cocks.

Wait, is it really the lady cocks?

No, they go by gamecocks, but there's merch that says ladycocks.

People say ladycocks.

That's pretty cool.

I should probably buy one of those.

Yeah, I was going to say that.

That sounds like a stealer.

I would definitely buy one.

The really weird one for me is that Central Arkansas is the bear.

The team names are the Bears and the Sugar Bears.

Oh my God, I'm going to throw up all over again.

It's going to happen.

The Sugar Bears.

Yeah.

It's horrible.

It's so bad.

And Akron avoids all of these concerns by just being like, yeah, we're the zips.

Yeah, she's carrying babies in her pouch.

She doesn't care.

She loves our teams, our one in 11 football team and our extremely successful men's basketball and men's soccer teams.

Which is to say that you are picking the Akron Zips to upset Arizona in the first round.

Absolutely.

Go Zips.

I've been on the Goodyear Blimp.

I will support Akron until the day I die.

Let's take your blimp south,

Roger.

I'd like to hone in on the UC San Diego Tritons.

First of all, actually a good team.

Like, I'm not trying to take away from

Akron or Uno.

They're like top 40 on Ken Pom.

They should not be a 12 seed.

They have the guy who leads the nation in steals.

They're like two-point underdogs against Michigan as a 12-seed.

So that's the basketball talk.

This is their first tournament.

It's their first year of eligibility since they transferred up from Division II.

Both the men's and the women's teams made it into the tournament.

They were D2 last season?

They were D2 four seasons ago.

And when you transfer up from Division II to Division I, you have to take four years off.

And they were not allowed to play in the NCA tournament.

This year they are.

They were incredible.

And they are the Tritons.

The reason they're named that is because UC San Diego, it's a pretty good school there, host to the Scripps Institute of Oceanography, Oceanographic Institute that has like made a ton of like climate change discoveries.

They wanted to honor that.

And also at San Diego, it's not on the beach.

They have water and stuff.

So they're the Tritons.

Their mascot is King Triton.

He's the god of the seas.

He's a guy wearing a, you know, I don't know why Poseidon and Triton are pictured wearing like the same things that Greek people on land did because like you'd think the robes like the togas would be not very useful underwater.

Well, all I got in my mind is, you know, the little mermaid.

The mascot looks the same, like their costume mascot looks almost identical to the little mermaid version of Triton, a five-crown cap, and he's holding a trident, which in the little mermaid like shoots out like fire and destroys stuff.

Right.

But the mascot unclear whether or not he can do that.

I just applaud them for avoiding a lawsuit, despite the similarities to this.

Ariel, how many times must we go through this?

You could have been seen by one of those barbarians, by one of those humans.

Daddy, they're not barbarians.

They're dangerous.

Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter snared by some fish eater's hook?

I'm 16 years old.

I'm not a child.

Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady.

As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules.

But if you would just listen.

Not another word.

And I am never, never to hear of you going to the surface again.

Is that clear?

I cannot possibly interpret that clip as anything other than an allegory for Lucy talking to her dad at a North Carolina Iowa basketball game.

I did not know she was 16 years old in that movie.

Yeah, that's...

I'm on his side.

Like, he was a little bit over the top, but, like, first of all, humans are bad is like a pretty solid take.

Yeah, he's got it.

And like, his 16-year-old daughter is going to go marry some, like, the only human being she's ever seen before.

Like, she's 16 and she's going to cut off her tail and have legs.

Like,

he's like, Prince Eric is.

Yeah,

he's overrated.

He's selfish.

A little desperate on Ariel's part.

And he's very reasonably like, chill out.

Don't like go to the surface where you can't breathe.

Can she breathe?

Before we get to that, Prince Eric, also, I'm filing a retroactive lawsuit against you.

Yeah, what's the age gap there?

Age gap has got to be huge.

Also, we're like ignoring the fact that he can't talk to her, he doesn't even know what she's like because she trades her voice.

That feels like the most realistic part of the male-female dynamic depicted.

Yeah,

I love it.

That is the most, there are some problematic relationships in Disney movies, but Prince, likely of adult age with 16-year-old non-talking mermaid, mermaid.

That's really bad.

I don't know what Atlantis' age of consent is, but we are picking UC San Diego to upset Michigan.

The Midwest.

Do you feel like they did a good job with the four regions of our country being east, south, West, and Midwest?

Like, we never talk about like the North, but I think that's what they're trying to go.

Anyway, I think I'm thinking too much about the region.

I would like to see a North versus South side of the bracket now that you mention it.

I'd like to relitigate that in every possible facet of American life, including this tournament.

My favorite player in the NCA tournament

is in this bracket.

He is not likely to win, nor is he likely to be successful at the thing which drew me to him.

I'm talking about Wofford's Kyler Filowich center, led the conference in rebounding and field goal percentage, last place in the conference in free throw percentage.

How bad are we talking?

28.

At the time, he decided to switch from overhand, regular free throws, at which he was shooting 28%,

to underhanded,

commonly referred to as granny-style free throws.

Although I'm not sure how that name, I've never seen any grandmothers play.

It's basketball.

It's a reasonable inquiry.

Has any granny actually shot granny style as we watch?

Yeah.

So this dude is large, I should say.

He's a big boy.

He's a center.

He's he dominates in the paint.

So this, this is like he was shooting 28%.

Someone on his coaching staff had a connection with Rick Berry, the NBA Hall of Famer.

The patron saint of the Union free throw, whose sons, some of his sons shot underhanded.

He shot like like 90 for his career he flew to south carolina to to teach our guy kyler here how to shoot underhanded free throws he switched in february it's the last season of his career he's a fifth-year senior this is his time to shine it's now or never he switches to underhanded free throws

the ending of the story that you've written in your head an inspirational tale is of a mentor and a mentee and the the story that you probably cooked up in your head is that he switched and he's good at it He's not.

He still sucks at shooting free throws.

He's shooting 35% from the line since he switched to underhand.

That's an improvement.

It's an improvement.

In the SoCon tournament, in the first two games, he shot one for five and then one for five again.

He's really just kind of hucking it off the backboard there.

It's so inspiring to watch him go out there.

having like dedicated so much effort to this thing

that can change this last moment of his career.

And

everyone is yelling at him from the stands, calling him names, telling him he shouldn't be doing this.

And he's still bad at it and he still persists.

And he made it to the NCA tournament.

And this is what this moment is all about.

These, these teams from all across the country, which are trying weird things, and some of them aren't even that good at them.

And they have this one day

to beat a better team.

And sometimes that weird thing they do works and we remember them forever and sometimes it doesn't and we

We just move on.

It's it's just you don't see this in in any other

League where you see the giants and the these people trying to figure out how to play basketball for the first time.

I think this is I mean if there's any ambiguity around how different college basketball is from the NBA Just know that there is a center who is shooting 28% who hired a personal consultant who clearly was dying to be asked to do this.

Yes, he flew through.

No one calls Rick Berry to do the thing that Rick Berry has been waiting for someone to ask him to do.

You're right.

The NBA,

everyone has figured out how to play basketball.

We've optimized everything.

The teams, the shooting forms,

the teams have the same shot.

I'm not saying it's bad.

They're very good at basketball.

They're extremely good at it.

The product is probably generally more entertaining.

I'm fine saying that, even as a college basketball fan.

The thing that's great about college basketball is you have these 360 teams.

Some of them are playing like one-three-one zones, and sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

Some of them have guys who do not know how to shoot free throws.

And then you throw them all in this one tournament and you see what happens.

And sometimes the weird stuff works.

Sometimes the better team wins.

And

this is what March is all about.

And I'm a little bit emotional for our boy Kyler.

If he goes out there and he shoots two for four

in a surprise victory, I'm going to cry.

I'm going to sit in my house and I'm going to cry because of how beautiful it is.

Wofford over Tennessee is the pick.

Yeah, we've got a couple 15 over twos here, but cosmologically, it has been decreed.

Lucy, you guys have been Sympatico for most of this taping.

Because we're childhood friends.

But you have a take, Lucy, that I want Roger to hear.

So

proceed.

So Roger and I have obviously both spent a lot of time at sporting events, especially college football, which is such a fun atmosphere.

It's very like lively.

The fans are super into it.

I think it's one of the best atmospheres in sports.

March Madness is such a great postseason event.

It's the best postseason in sports.

I agree.

It is

not a good event to go to as a fan.

Except for the women.

The women is great.

Because you have home rounds.

Going to a men's tournament is not fun.

It's not enjoyable.

Like it's a sport meant to be watched on your couch.

So I think that like if I was in charge, which I'm not, haven't been asked yet.

I'm not even in the like the rumor mill for potentially being in charge.

We'll get this aggregated.

NCA president Lucy campaign.

Look, no one's really in charge of that thing anyways.

So like I could easily do it.

So put Lucy in charge.

That's what I'm saying.

But my like experience for this that I really think was so fun was I got to go to the March Madness tournament when it was the COVID year and it was entirely in Indianapolis.

And so they only had crowds at like 20, 25%, which like obviously changed that sounds like it sucked.

It was so fun as a fan because the ability to have all of the games taking place within like a 45 mile radius.

So when you're going to these games, like I don't mean to be rude, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I don't think people are going to Greensboro to hang out in Greensboro.

Like I just don't think that's happening.

And so ideally, if we could like lessen the number of stops of locations, I think it'd be, could, could be so cool to like consume all the college basketball that you can.

Like we got to go to some like tiny venue in the Indiana State Fairgrounds and then to Lucas Oil to watch a game and then to the Fieldhouse to watch a game and then to Butler to watch a game.

They had games at IU.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was Assembly Hall.

It was like one of the most fun like going to experiences of my life because you really got to consume so much college basketball in a way that like everyone was there to support their team, but I don't think anyone had ever consumed so much basketball in person, despite the fact that there was, you know, 20% admissions because of COVID.

It was just such a cool system and I wish that they could find a way to translate that because the women, they kind of have it down.

You know, you have the host sites for the first round.

Like we were lucky enough to go to Iowa last year and that was the loudest venue I've ever been to.

Right.

So you have that like fan engagement where I just don't think the fan engagement works the same for March Madness because like you don't, you don't have the ability to travel to a lot of cool places a lot of the time.

You're finding out late.

Like I wish it was just like in more condensed areas.

I wish there were more games happening at different venues in the city because it was such a cool thing to experience.

Now you say that, but we were looking at this photograph and this.

Oh, we lost that game.

I mean, just to give the visual on this, Lucy, who looks to be 15 and a half, is wearing an Iowa number one jersey.

Yeah, we were number one.

Right next to you, though, well, to your right is a guy who's not nearly into this to anywhere close to the degree that you are.

But to your left is

who is that?

That's Hawkeye Elvis.

He's a really nice guy.

Him and my dad are kind of in the Elvis community together.

What does that mean?

So Hawkeye Elvis is like a famous Iowa fan within like Iowa circles, and he just shows up to every game, like dressed in these like super awesome Elvis, like custom Iowa jumpsuits, and it's become like his persona.

And he has a bunch of them.

High production values on the costume.

they're so nice does he like elvis i i would i assume so what a job though if he didn't yeah it wouldn't be fun if he didn't

it's his whole personality like trapped in a prison of my own devising he's like when he goes to an iowa game like everybody wants to chat with him because like your dress is elvis like there are so many photos of me with him throughout my iowa fandom because like you see him am i just like oh get a picture with hawkeye elvis come on you gotta go do it what did you mean by him and my dad are in the elvis community?

I'm glad you asked.

Good follow-up.

I am so, let's hope my dad doesn't listen to this.

He does not want his business out there, but I'm sharing it.

So Iowa has this race that they do in the state every summer.

My dad hasn't done it for a very long time, but it's called Ragbri.

It stands for the Register's Annual Guide Bike Ride Across the State of Iowa.

So basically, a bunch of people will bike across the state of Iowa over a week.

And it's actually like kind of a big, fun drinking event.

Like it's a big party.

And my dad and his buddies, they used to do it every year dressed as Elvis, and they called themselves the riding Elvi.

So the first time we met Hawkeye Elvis, my dad was like, hey, Hawkeye Elvis, I'm Riding Brian Elvis.

Nice to meet you.

And it was the weirdest interaction of my life.

That does feel like when the mascots of two different schools, who are also the same mascot but slightly different, do encounter each other.

Yeah, it was a weird thing.

And you were just like, okay, well, I'm glad you have your hobbies.

At the end of every episode of Pablo Tory Finds Out, a show about finding stuff out, we go around the room and we say what we found out today.

Roger, would you like to lead us off?

I found out that there's someone in North Carolina that belongs in jail.

Yeah, probably a lot of them, actually.

Minds kind of weird.

What did I find out today?

I found out that there's a mascot called the sugar bear and that feminism has gone back like 75 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I found out that your friendship,

Roger and Lucy, can survive anything.

Even possibly

a matcha waterfall of Lucy's vomit.

Yuck.

Still drink matcha every day, though.

Some people, when they throw up from something, they never have it again.

I love matcha.

Good luck.

Swimming fire has taken that away from me.

You took my dignity, but not my matcha.

I also found out that the actual North Carolina Ram has enormous balls.

Huge.

Did you look it up?

It's like probably not safe to do on a work computer, but this computer has seen a lot worse.

And you know what?

The name of the stadium, where we saw Ramsey's balls and there was a Panther ball testicle situation, the name of the stadium, it's Bofa.

It's Bank of America.

We saw the testies at BOFA and

lived.

I mean, I just want to thank BOFA, you guys, for joining me.

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a Metalark Media Production.

And I'll talk to you next time.