The Anti-4/20 4/20 Episode, with a Stoned Katie Nolan and a Very Much Not-Stoned Dan Soder

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

She knows Italian.

Hey, Long Pizza from Brooklyn.

Right after this ad.

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Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

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Cupad!

Hello, genuinely.

Um, I didn't prepare anything.

I thought we were smoking weed for this podcast.

I thought you and I were gonna bully him and just make him watch us smoke weed.

And

then we moved it to here, and we're not doing that anymore.

So I smoked a bunch of weed before I came.

I do have a bag full of, I think, Mike Tyson edibles

that we've been collecting.

Are the ones that look like ears?

Yeah, we got the mic bites.

I've had those before.

So I guess I should say that I have collected what seems to be sports media's largest collection of athlete-branded weed.

God, this is such a tease.

For an episode that we were going to do today

until I learned

recently that we can't do it, even though I think we should and will do it eventually.

Eventually, yes.

Because...

This summer we can.

Absolutely.

So that's this summer.

All of this will be consumed this summer.

But in the meantime, I want to explain why we can't do it.

And that is.

And that is.

I've taken an extended break from smoking and consuming marijuana.

This is me clapping along

into a bunch of edibles.

Producers behind the glass are like, why are we applauding this?

And I want to hear Dan out.

I want to hear Daniel.

Number one,

it's legal now, so it's only for dorks.

If you weren't doing it when it was actually worth the risk, you're a narc and a nerd.

He's not like this, I swear.

And no, it, uh, I've been consistently getting high almost daily since I was 15, and I'm about to turn 41.

So that's 26 years of

dunking my brain in resin.

And

what's the longest break you went on in that time?

Five days.

That's why.

And I'm at day 14 right now.

I have so many questions.

Yeah, I mean, I'm in therapy.

I've been in therapy for 13 years.

And there becomes this moment.

I quit drinking 11 years ago.

And when I quit drinking, there became this moment where it felt like it didn't serve me anymore.

Started feeling like it was holding me back.

And these are feelings that any addict will tell you that when you're conscious of it, you feel like,

oh, I'm, I know I need to stop, but I don't want to.

It's like being in a toxic relationship.

You're like, it feels good, but there's a lot of bad.

And I'm ignoring the bad because I still like the good a little bit, but I know in my soul, I need to get out of it.

And you convince yourself,

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

So when I started doing therapy, I was having a lot of problems.

And my therapist was like, well, you're an alcoholic.

And I was like, I'm not an alcoholic.

I just party.

Sorry.

I can, sorry, I'm such a blast.

She's like, no, I know.

People say that all the time.

It's like written that line on a composter.

Well, what do you say?

But it's different for me.

No, no, no.

I'm built different.

So I remember when I was quitting drinking specifically,

I was like, you know, I drink, but I'm not my dad.

My dad was an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic.

And my therapist is point blank goes, now you're being exactly like your dad.

You're drinking and you're not taking ownership of it.

You're using it as an excuse.

You're using, and you're using it as a crutch.

And I was like, well, that's not true.

And then I quit drinking and I realized he was right.

And I have no want or need to go back to drinking.

It's very few and far between.

With how much non-alcoholic beer has progressed in the last seven years, it...

The one thing I missed was having a beer at a baseball game.

I used to love to go to a Mets game and have a giant beer and then seven more.

But that first beer was always like, this is unbelievable.

And what about it, though, just to explain to you?

Baseball is a beer drinking sport.

You like watch, when you go to the park for baseball, you want a hot dog and a beer.

You want to sit there.

It's a relaxed environment.

You're just kind of chilling.

I loved a summer day.

uh a beer and watching a game yes and when i quit drinking there was a lot of things i i missed the getting up part but i missed like i went to a a Mets game and I was like, this is the biggest itch I've ever had is I want a beer.

But now non-alcoholics are so good that I can have a Heineken Zero.

I can have an athletic and just be like, oh, this feels like I'm drinking a ritual gets to be simulated.

It scratches the itch.

I've been smoking weed that whole time, but I like doubled down on the

substitution effect when you can't do the same.

Cigarettes and weed.

I was smoking cigarettes, but then I quit cigarettes six months later.

So all I was left with was weed.

So that got ratcheted up

quadruple.

How long ago was this?

11 years ago.

Okay.

So when did you quit cigarettes?

11 years ago?

Yeah, I quit smoking.

I quit drinking in March of 2013.

And I quit cigarettes June, right before my 30th birthday, because I didn't want to go into my 30s smoking cigarettes.

So I quit June 23rd, 2000.

I don't even remember the year.

And you remember the date.

Oh, I remember the date, baby, because I miss cigarettes still.

So I was going to ask about

the hardest thing to quit is cigarettes.

The hardest thing to quit for me.

I know other people have different feelings.

I miss cigarettes daily.

Katie and I talk about it all the time.

She quits cigarettes.

She's actually, she's not going to brag about this, but I'm very proud of her.

She was on Nicorette Gum and Mints and then quit in January.

And she's been good.

December 24th.

There you go.

So you remember the day.

Only because this was Christmas Eve and we were on a road trip and then like two days later, we're sleeping in our car and I was like, could really go for some of that.

She kind of takes the edge off right now.

I still have one on me.

And she never used it.

And I was very impressed that she quit Nicodemus.

The lamest thing to have to quit is like little candies you put in your mouth every few weeks.

Yeah, but people don't realize.

But it's a reality.

Why would you get to Werthers originally?

Well, that's what I replaced him with, Pablo.

Thank you.

Shout out to the Werthers Company.

They make them in all different flavors.

And by the way, she's just walking through bags.

Not anymore.

I slowed down.

I slowed down in a moment.

In February and March, there were Werthers wrappers everywhere because Candy was just popping them.

On the question of the edge off and that effect, is that what you missed?

To be specific about like what cigarette?

I mean, they're cool as shit.

I miss going outside.

I miss the first,

sorry, but the sound when the frame hits the paper and you take the first pull that like.

And when you go like this,

yeah.

But don't do it.

If you haven't started, this is the thing that I'm like, don't start.

Yeah, but let us talk about missing when we did it.

A lot of young kids now are getting into Zins and they're getting into stuff.

I think if you go straight to vaping or straight to Zins, you're missing the coolest part, which is smoking

and dipping.

It's like tobacco.

The smoking part I get because I've seen movies.

Yeah, yeah.

Like I want to look like that.

Dipping's pretty good.

Dipping, what?

Dipping can be pretty great.

I have a lot of friends that do it.

The stuff it does to like your teeth, the stuff it does to your breath, the way you have to carry around us.

As a bartender,

the amount of times I've had to clear people's like spit cups.

Anyone that had dipped watching this goes, I get it.

I don't.

They're like,

I don't.

Nate Bargettsi might watch this and go, I get it.

I get it, and I miss it.

Because I remember he would pick me up in Queens and he'd pack a whip and I would be waiting to get out to smoke a cigarette.

I miss cigarettes.

But when I quit cigarettes, I found.

I could smoke a joint and it would kind of...

Because it feels the same.

It does.

They say a lot of it.

I remember they say a lot of it's the physical act.

So they'll say like, cut two, like cut a straw real short when you're doing it.

Yeah.

And just like do that.

Like

they say like dumb dumb.

You replace smoking with smoke.

Yeah, with cooler smoke.

Yes.

And I just always loved weed.

Like since the time I was 15, I just liked getting high.

I love, you know, I still like getting high.

Okay, but you're from Colorado.

Yeah, which it wasn't legal until 2014.

So what's the, do you remember what, this is where we talked about the first time we smoked weed, I guess.

But when

well, it depends on what kind of weed because I smoked like swag when I was in like

that's what most people smoke in high school, I believe.

Yes, exactly.

It's garbage.

I didn't really like that because the, the, the high from swag is very red eyes, very hungry, very giggly, a crash.

You're like, eh.

And then the first time I smoked chronic is what we called it back when I was a child.

So 40 years ago.

26 years ago.

Damn.

I was only joking.

Shout out, Brian Tannenbaum.

He rolled a blunt of, and we were at this girl Amber's house party, and he's like, oh, I got chronic.

And it was, I remember the day because it was a year to the day my dad died.

So it was December 12th, 1998.

And me and Brian smoked a blunt of chronic that he got from Boulder.

Boulder, Colorado had incredible weed.

That was the light green with the red hairs, no sticks, no seeds.

And he rolled it and we smoked in this backyard and I got the greatest high I've ever had in my life.

I was laughing my ass off.

I was wearing a mountain dew box as a hat.

Thought it was the greatest bid of all time.

I stayed at Zach's house.

I slept at Zach's house and

I've told the story before, but I was so high that the next morning I had a weed hangover, which is I was giggly and hungry.

And I went home and my mom's boyfriend joe was watching uconn's women basketball uh and i was like it was like 10 in the morning and i was like we should order pizza hut and he was like what and i was like we should get one of those they came out with the brooklyn xl pizza

and i was like we should get a brooklyn xl pizza like i could hammer one of those and he was like no and i kept doing the thing of like come on joe i was trying to get a bonding moment like if he i would have liked him a lot more if he would have gone like yeah you know what you know what gino oriema would want us to do right now you know what

yeah dude let's let's get it gino's italian hey love pizza from brooklyn and um he shot it down and then i just remember going and like

just sucked it just became like oh like it's it's like going from drinking uh three dollar vodka to the first time you try like good liquor where you go like oh this is like a different category yeah like i like this so then it just became who can get chronic?

Let's smoke bowls.

And then it got out of control.

Like high school.

What does that mean?

Gravity bong hits.

We're doing shotguns.

Are you making a gravity bong?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I have a great bucket.

Just to reiterate, this is during the developmental years of your brain.

Yeah, well, whatever, dude.

It warped it.

But we would take a gallon of milk and then we'd cut off the bottom.

And then with the cap, we would use aluminum foil to make the bowl.

Put some holes in it.

Yeah, poke the holes in it.

And then we put the bowl.

And then we put it in like this, I think it was a kiddie box.

Like a toilet box?

Like one of the old ones for mono.

Cat toilet.

I'm a dead cat.

Washed it out.

We're not f ⁇ ing idiots.

No, you didn't.

You were high school boys.

No, we washed it out because we knew what it was.

So we put the water in.

I have a picture of it.

I have a picture at our house of me taking a gravity ball and hit.

And we would just get f ⁇ ing ripped.

And we were just finding ways to get f ⁇ ed up.

And then it became

whatever money you made at your job.

Can I go get an eighth?

eighth like who had eighths shout out devin i think he's in prison right now but devin had weed at the apartment complex by my house i hope he's not in prison for weed no i think it's might be murder okay for those not watching youtube or the draft news network dan did the thing that sammy sosa did when he hit a home run to devin who might be in jail Shout out, Devin, dude.

I know you're on the inside, but we're on the outside living for you.

And we, our senior year, we voted him most likely to brighten your day and the school changed it because they found out who it was.

Oh, no.

They were like, no, we're not giving that to a drug dealer.

And we're like, no, no, no, no, no.

But he is the most likely.

He was the most likely to brighten your day.

So we just became kind of like, I didn't, my dad had died.

So I kind of, of cirrhosis, so I kind of saw what alcohol did.

So I was like, well, this ain't booze.

Not knowing I had an addict's brain and just being like, well, I'm just smoking weed.

I just became like a huge pothead and I just like loved smoking weed and I stayed loved smoking weed up until 14 days ago.

But

the question of like, what does being a huge pothead actually entail for people who aren't huge potheads and one of those?

Well, all right, let me visualize.

I'll give you this example.

When you go to the doctor,

they ask you how many drinks you have a week.

That's a thing.

No one ever, I remember never telling the truth.

No one tells the truth.

I didn't go the lowest, but I went to the middle one, even though I knew that I was probably like the third or the one that says four or more.

I feel like I did the like three to six a week.

Yeah.

I'm on the Mediterranean diet.

I think I can drink a glass of red wine.

I have a couple grabs.

I remember i was drinking 16 drinks a night oh my god oh my god you're such a tall tree i would do eight beers and eight shots that's what i because i'd do a shot and a beer which napettzi always would be like if you eliminate shots you're all right and i was like i don't know if that's true i still think i'm drinking eight beers but i used to do a shot of jameson with a bud back bud heavy uh

funny i did not know that because he had quit drinking by the time we met yeah but like that's the guy i'm gonna marry that's what he would have drinked so then when i got a little money

in this time capsule is your husband.

But ask anybody, and they knew.

That's the guy I would have picked.

Shot a Jameson with a butt heavy.

Yeah.

And then a couple camel lights in between right now.

I mean,

he's my true love.

That's my soulmate.

This is all making sense.

That's my soul.

And so finally I said that to a doctor.

I go, I don't know.

I do like eight beers, eight shots a night.

And the doctor was like, Jesus Christ.

Like complete professionalism out the window.

They're like, he's like, I got to make a call real quick.

I think he went like, God, all right.

No, no, don't do that.

so what i said to my therapist when we were talking about quitting i said that was my malcolm gladwell's 10 000 hours i'm like an expert at getting out of my tits like i'm so good at getting up i could like if someone was too high

call me like winston the wolf like i can walk i've walked her back a couple times so okay so let's explain this what makes van soder good at this so many times why am i good at it because he's been up there and what's it like when he is guiding you he knows where the exits are so he knows how to get you to the, I mean, I do remember

when I go, I go,

which one?

The Godweed, the God Nug.

The one that made me think that we already knew.

Okay, the Orson Welles one.

I'm sorry.

I don't even know if I can speak about because I don't even remember.

I just remember the only part I remember is that we were watching, we got high.

Very high.

Very high.

And we were watching, remember when Orson Welles, I'm going to f this up, released, he released like two movies at the same time.

And one was a movie of like...

Citizen Kane.

No, it but it was like and then the other was a documentary about the making of that movie or something i feel like i heard about it from ride home and so i felt like it was going to be like an artsy endeavor for me it was like his the most recent release they put out this like orson wells something okay we were very high either way we're

and i'm already going into this going is this the movie or is this the documentary about the movie which when i'm high is exactly what me up It's the concept of some I'm playing a video game or someone's playing a video game and I'm being played by them.

The thing inside the thing when I'm high makes me go, well, what is and what thing am I inside?

And let me explain to you as a Sherpa.

Yes.

The ground has been moved from under her.

Right.

So then there is a mental free fall.

Right.

The mental free fall is when you have to grab someone and pull them back up.

Well, the reason that it, the thing that triggered it was Orson Welles is doing the voiceover of this documentary.

Yes.

And in it, he's saying things.

He's saying, and now pay close attention here.

And it's like a clip from an old movie.

But then it would go into people talking.

But if my, if I close my eyes, my voice just heard like one continuous audio stream, and it sounded like the clips that Orson Welles was using in the movie were narrating the documentary.

So then I was like, what's going on?

Orson Welles is talking directly to us.

Yeah, when you get to the end of the day, and I made him rewind, and Dan's like, what you're saying is happening isn't happening.

Are you feeling okay?

And then I went, I don't know.

Where am I?

And then I just dropped to the ground and he was like, all right, here we go.

And that's when you're like, you fasten yourself on the mountain.

Yeah.

You go, you get her.

And you climb back up.

He opens her her door.

I got her wind.

I got her water.

Opens the sliding door, put a glass of water next to me.

Cold wind and water.

Calmed Myrtle down because Myrtle's going, What's going on with mom?

Trying to lick her face.

Mom's freaking out.

Dogs understand this.

Dogs know when you're spinning.

That's why they're great companions.

She'll do this thing where if I give her the right look that I'm not conscious of, she'll come over and just start licking my hand to be like, Come back down to earth.

Katie's down in a well.

Yes.

Myrtle's trying to tell people.

Yes.

She's Lassie.

This is Lassie.

Timmy's in a well.

That's exactly it.

You nailed it.

And if you've been around super high people,

whether it be mushrooms, whether it be weed or acid, you understand that you need to tether them back to the earth.

Yes.

You just need to go like.

Describe what you're feeling.

Describe what you're hearing.

This was the best advice I ever received.

And I don't know if this man is alive or dead, but it was a guy we used to buy mushrooms off of.

And he always, he always said,

before you trip, right on your hand, I am tripping, it's okay.

Smart.

Because then that's you from before.

So that gives you

a memento standing.

I was going to say your memento.

That's exactly it.

And there had been some mushroom trips.

Do not trust him.

Yeah.

I'm on shit.

You're right.

What do you mean?

I'm right.

But I am tripping.

I always remember I am tripping.

It's okay.

And like you would look and you'd go like, okay, got it.

So this too shall pass.

You're trying to intellectually get them to buy into that.

This too shall pass.

That's all you need to understand is that it will come back and you will be you will and that's what i kept saying to her hey give it a little bit you're fine you're floating right now you're gonna come back down it's the soda in uh willy wonka burp yeah just burp yep and you come back down what loses you is you're up there and you go i'm never gonna come back down and then you fly higher and you do go yeah the part that my experience the worst i ever felt um with with weed was eating the smallest part of a brownie that a friend had told me like yeah edibles do something different to you

it's like like an unridable wave.

And it was the feeling of, oh no,

they put clearly, based on how I feel, something other than weed in here.

Well, then,

you lose the ground.

Yeah, now you're just like free-floating through space.

Smoking weed is swimming in a pool, edibles are swimming in the ocean.

Yes, it's a bigger sea.

You can get

tide.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Feene Champion, 14 Alcohol by Volume 40 by Remy Control, USA Incorporated, New York, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Please drink responsibly.

One of the moments I knew I had to quit drinking was...

I used to work a lot in the city.

I wasn't on the road a lot, and I was working at the comedy cellar, and I would do like four or five spots in a night, and I would go to a bar called Triona's in the West Village, which is right around the corner from the cellar, and I'd do some day-in-drinking because I didn't want to do day-in drinking at the cellar because I didn't want them going, this new guy is getting too hammered.

No, it's still stupid, but it's smarter than it could have been.

I mean, I was, I was born in the darkness, molded by it.

So, I knew where to go to get.

But then one night I came back for a late show, and I was too up.

And I literally felt like I had swam too far away from the beach.

And that was the feeling I had on stage was I can't control my words.

I can't control my thoughts.

And then the next morning I woke up.

And as one does hungover, I felt ashamed.

I felt anxious.

And I was like, man, if I want to be a comic for the rest of my life, I got to

change some shit because I'm too, I was too fucked up on stage last night at a place that I have

dreamt about working since I was 17.

So I need to cut drinking.

But weed was always there, baby.

And I would always, and I love weed.

I still do.

I, you know, but it got to a point where

I you know I just released a special in March

thanks it's called on the road in 1997 the United States enacted the deadbeat dad law which meant if you didn't pay child support you were going to jail my dad died in 1997

I'm in the process of building and I just I just felt felt like, man, I need to get better.

I need to get better.

And I think that's always a step someone feels professionally where you're like, what can I do?

How can I, I want every step to be an improvement.

Even if it can't be, I want to try to improve.

So your comedy, your craft was the reason.

Yeah, it's just f ⁇ ing around, you know?

Okay, let's leave the artist.

I don't want to go Lebatard and talk about artists.

Please, please, the artist and all that.

Yeah, yeah.

But in terms of just.

I love comedy and I want to be very good at it.

I want to be the best that I can be.

If I get old and I'm like, oh, I could have done this,

I'll beat my, I'm very good at beating myself up, as she knows.

That's the only domestic violence in our house.

It's me kicking the shit out of myself in my brain.

But

I'm just like, I want to be as good as I can be.

I had the same feeling with weed that I was having about alcohol all those years.

I was going to say, you've identified now like being on stage with alcohol as the turning point in this too.

I was was like forgetting words.

I was forgetting trains of thought.

I was forgetting like, where am I going with this?

And I'm already kind of dumb.

So like it was making me dumber.

And I just kind of felt like,

all right, well, let's try.

Let's just like, uh, and I had the same talk, same therapist, you know, and he said, what about quitting weed?

You know, and what it was specifically was, was I, there's a, I have a lot of anger and a lot of stuff that I haven't worked on from the death of my father and my sister.

Because after my dad died, you know,

that December 12th, 1998, I started smoking weed.

My sister was killed in the car accident October 29th, 1999.

And so I go through that and I'm just getting like more f ⁇ ed up.

And then I lose my aunt in 07 that I was close to and I just getting more f ⁇ ed up and just people I knew were dying.

And I was just getting like, well, f

like, I'm good at this.

Does it, did it feel like self-medicating?

Yeah, 100%.

Like you were aware that that's what was happening.

No, but I kind of did.

It's kind of like you feel better enough.

Yeah, man, it made me feel great.

Great.

But then, you know, I was talking to my old roommate, Veckian, about this today at breakfast, where I kind of had this false, this like fake persona of like, oh, I'm a chill weed guy.

But then I'm losing a video game and explaining.

And then we had to get a new table.

Show me

it was from Ikea, so like they are easy to break.

And I just want to let you know it did break.

Down and in.

Down and in.

I cleared that thing.

I lost a rocket league.

I was going to say, I believe we've established that this was rocket league.

It was very rocket league.

I was like, that was my rocket league.

Give me my black belt.

The sun was out, too.

I shattered that motherfucker.

And then she heard it on the chat.

She heard it on the chat.

I go, what was that?

What was that?

And I'm

immediately ashamed.

But it's okay.

I just wasn't tied to my emotions.

I just kind of felt like, oh, this is self-medicating.

And when you start realizing that, you go,

what if I take the medication off?

Like, what if we, you know, I talked to my therapist and my therapist was like, maybe you're using this as a crutch.

Maybe you need to feel things.

Katie was in LA

doing work for a week.

And I looked online and they said, you know,

withdrawal symptoms usually last about seven days.

And I, and I did the math.

That was where I was like.

Let's chill for a couple months.

That's wild to me, if I may, because I was like, wouldn't you want me to i would love to be there to help you through whatever withdrawal but i don't want experiencing yeah you don't have to hide i know i didn't have to hide it but i didn't want to inconvenience you wouldn't have because one of the things

but one of the things is like i didn't sleep i didn't sleep the first week i just was like you don't sleep because i'm getting sedated I just had a physical like two months ago and my doctor was like, all right, marijuana use?

I was like, daily.

And he's like, how much?

And I lied like we do about our drinks.

I was like, yeah, once a day.

But I was like, I smoke when I wake up.

I would smoke before the shower.

And then that's just how I start my day.

And then throughout the day, I'd just keep smoking.

And then at night, it was like, bong hits, edibles.

Let's go.

Before you go to sleep, you would take at least an edible.

I would take at least 25 milligrams at least after smoking all enough to sedate me.

That would sedate.

I would be, you talk about losing the grammar.

You're sleeping through the night.

So kind of.

Not even really, kind of.

But something that I want to know from Katie's perspective about all of this is to what extent did dan seem stoned versus also being functional which is a let me tell you something about the sodas we hide getting up very well yeah uh dan never really comes into the other room and says he's freaking out but the next day dan will go i freaked out a little last night and i'm like where was i you never he doesn't go through it out loud he goes through it all inside flexing through his shirt which i'm like then i immediately think of all the times i've been on the ground needing him to fan my sweaty back because i don't don't know where I am.

I want the Sherpa and Dan is out there soloing.

Right.

And then I feel like a monster because I'm like, I was in the other room just goofing off, probably getting frustrated at you because we're in the chat and you're not responding.

And I'm like, are you on your phone?

Why aren't you answering us in the chat?

You guys play video games from different rooms too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but on headset with other people.

We're not just like on headset with each other.

But in the same apartment.

Yeah, in the same, whatever.

Sometimes.

Should I be more ashamed when I say that?

No, no, no.

I just want people to understand whatever, man.

So, anyway, he goes through it kind of alone.

um and yeah as one does no I know uh but it's so it's I don't always know so it's but I can't that's only child syndrome there's I'll notice when he's when he gets really really I mean he'll usually come out and go like I'm gonna get scary high tonight

I was thinking what if you know that weed that we've stopped smoking because you're so afraid of it what if I uh put that into a bong and I just do binger bongers um and I'm gonna I'm gonna get going and I was like why do you aspire to get so scared like isn't that the bad part why are you chasing the bad part I'd sit there with a full bat and just

to this you know and a lot of my friends we get high like that it's just kind of everybody I've ever been friends with that's just what we do you know before the bonfire we'd rip like a Keith dipped

Jesus Christ

a moon what is it like everything now can I just say all the all of the dispensaries are like you want a small little one okay we dipped this one in more weed

You can smoke this.

I just want a baby one.

Some of us smoke like when we tried it the first time in high school, we did not like it and we went to a scary place.

And some of us just like to take a little edge off.

But the question of like walking around the world and being functional enough while also overcome, is it, does it feel like I am overcoming the thing that is making me stoned?

Does it feel like there is a challenge or a thing you enjoy about like, I can do something that they can't?

I think I have a lot of anger in me that I've never dealt with.

And I think I have a lot of frustration in me that I haven't dealt with, like health, like in a healthy way, like actually worked through it.

And I think weed was like, dude, put it up on the side.

I also, I feel like you, you have a constant running.

I don't know because I'm not in there, but you've got an inner monologue of anxiety that you've, it's like a hum that has been humming for so long that you've kind of learned to just like

push it in the back.

But when you smoke weed, it goes further in the back.

So you can really not even tell that it's it's putting on noise canceling headphones.

Yeah.

It's like I get high and I put on those noise canceling headphones.

I'm like

just walking around.

And what's crazy is since I've stopped smoking in the past two weeks, my anxiety levels have dropped.

I don't have any anxiety.

Wow.

I get anxiety in certain situations that cause anxiety, but I'm not anxious.

You know, I don't think I'm done smoking weed.

I think I'm done drinking for sure.

I don't, I don't want to go back to drinking.

I don't want to become become that person again.

Cigarettes, God only knows.

But weed, I just need a break.

I just needed like, let me get two months.

And by the way, I talk to friends that are huge potheads and they go, well, yeah, you got to take a break.

And I go, you guys have been taking breaks?

I've been doing that 26 years straight.

What I told Katie immediately, we were in LA getting dinner and she told me about this.

She broke the news to me that we couldn't do our athlete.

Which we will do.

We will do again.

We're going to do it.

Trust me.

And if we don't, it's okay.

Yeah, but I don't care.

When When you're a Hall of Famer, you got them all.

But what I told her immediately was,

and again, forgive me for not being the best advice giver, given that you are currently trying to stay in the state that you're in.

I was like, but when you do return to it,

it's going to be incredible.

Well, that's kind of where I want to get.

I want to.

Like, when I don't smoke weed for a while, I come back and I'm like, oh, this is why I fell in love with them.

Well, that's what I want.

I want it to be a treat.

I want it to be cake.

I don't want it to be a daily vitamin.

I want it to be cake.

I want it to be like, hey, dude, let's have some cake.

And then you're like, oh, you get that excitement of like, yeah, dude, I can have some cake right now.

The way I was smoking, I needed to do it before I left the house.

And Katie will tell you that.

She'd be like, hey, we got to go do this.

I'll be like, all right, hold on.

And then the window would open and I'd,

you know, or I, dude, I had my one-hitter on me like an ankle gun.

Yeah.

I just kept that thing on me.

I would just be like, oh, cool.

Just walk in and be like,

and then you're like, yeah, let's.

And it it just like, dude, I don't have anything against weed.

This isn't a thing where I'm like, and now I found Christ.

Oh, and I 100%.

I love weed.

This is me.

Yeah, this is me just, let me get out the pool and dry off.

This many years consecutively.

I've had nothing to justify to anybody.

Your brain has not had a second to go.

Maybe we should build some neural pathways sober.

Maybe we should have a thought process function soberly through your brain.

I had bathtub fingers and I just want my fingers to go back.

Yeah, you've been, you've had wrinkled

crazy.

I just let me get out of the water for a little bit.

I've said it to friends of mine who have had real problems with addiction, like real, real bad problems.

People, friends of mine that have relapsed, other friends of mine that have gotten through it.

And they, the friends of my life, I've seen a reaction from people where you have people in your life that you trust, that you love and you trust.

And when it's a consensus, you go, I'm going the right way.

And enough people have gone like, all right.

Like Vecchie on this morning at breakfast, he didn't know.

And I told him, he's like, yeah, dude.

All right.

I'm excited to see this.

You know, Bargettsi was like, all right, buddy, here we go.

You know, like, let's go.

And, and Katie immediately understood.

She went, yeah, yeah, yeah, take a break.

And by the way, I'm not mad at her for smoking weed.

We play, she smokes weed before we play Robin.

I was gonna ask, I also don't have any alcohol in the house.

So, like, I'm already, I feel like I'm doing my part.

And since you're just taking a break from this one and we have all that weed,

it's not gonna smoke itself.

We have a lot of people.

And so, I, especially today, I felt I had a duty to stay true to the concept of the.

You know what's funny is I don't, I'm like, yeah, dude, go get high.

Well, so I was gonna ask, she asked that.

I do it in a different room.

Yeah, she, she was respectful, but I was joking.

You can't smell.

So it doesn't really.

Yeah, I have no sense of smell.

So I'm like, dude, go rip it.

I know.

I don't, i'm i'm gonna hang out with my friends that smoke weed and i'm probably gonna watch them smoke weed and i'm like dude that's great my dad's family is all addicts i mean top to bottom you know and they're all dead and it's me and my cousin and we're kind of like damn everyone was up and it's like oh it we our family my dad's family normalized it like this is what we do we get up we're good at getting up and we are we're very good at getting up but time to take a break i'm in my 40s now i just kind of don't want to be i'm not yet.

I just, I just kind of don't want to be an old stoner.

I kind of want to have my wits about me as I get older.

So whatever I have to do, I've been doing it consistently for 26 years.

26 years.

Yeah.

I don't remember most of my life.

Yeah.

But I, I, you know, I just felt like

whatever, man.

It's time to chill out for a little bit.

One of the things that I was in LA for was because I had all these 420 ideas, but really what I'm so glad to do is like actually get to what's more interesting about all of this with people who actually like sincerely have a relationship with weed and like it's nuanced and it's not as simple as oh so well let me tell you this 420 is to potheads what New Year's Eve is to alcoholics it's an amateur's holiday and especially in New York where it's Thanksgiving is where you get high truly my favorite Twitter search is like weed on Thanksgiving weed plus like cousins and it's like everybody attesting to the joy of discovering this forbidden thing of getting high with your cousins once a year.

My mom brought the, my mom kind of kicked that door down for everybody.

Yeah, I can, dude.

We'll rip it on Thanksgiving.

I'll be back.

But I, I, uh, I just don't kind of want, like I said, I don't want to make it the standard.

I don't want to, I just kind of want to dry off.

Yeah.

So, one of the things I asked in LA of an interview subject, uh, Matt Barnes, former NBA player, yeah, um, who was the preeminent stoner while active in the NBA, was like, what do you think?

Aposom Hunter and a possum.

Yes, nine minutes I watch every interview.

Dude, come on, bro, hop in, hop in,

hop in, b.

Come on, hop in.

Six foot eight, Matt Barnes.

Like, what are you doing?

That was a pothead wave.

I was so very good.

He was like, okay, I got this.

And then as soon as it touched it, the thing fell over.

You can also tell because, like, anybody from the country was like, just grab the thing, throw it outside, man.

And I ain't going to kill you.

What I wanted to know for Matt Barnes was what's his view on cannabis as a performance-enhancing drug?

Because he smoked so much before games.

And again, there's nuance to the ritual and how far ahead of games and so forth.

But for you, did you ever have a thought of, I am made better because of this?

Man, bonfire ripped when we got high.

There's a certain high Jay and I would get where that radio show would be cooking because we're buddies.

We're genuine friends.

And I love getting high with Big Jay and we would watch silly videos and it would be like

everything I did in high school that brought me joy after school, I got to do that job for eight years and I love it.

And I love it.

And I still love going over to Jay's and smoking a joint and watching YouTube fails.

I feel like something you said about alcohol is what you're maybe getting at.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Is that when you quit drinking, you were afraid that your talent was tied to drinking?

I still feel that about weed.

Right.

I still feel,

you know, I just headlined my first weekend without weed in Omaha and it was like, I could not be more fascinated as to how that felt.

It felt, I was nervous.

until I got on stage and then I was like, oh, this is, I'm doing stand-up.

got to write better jokes.

So I was like, oh, it's still here.

That's not, that thought's still here.

And I had fun.

And I was, I was, uh, what I found was I didn't lose my place in my set.

I found like, I, I felt like it was a little more concise.

I felt like it was a little more like, oh, you know, I think you kind of want to learn how to hit the baseball without steroids.

It's like, if I can, you know, if I can hit dingers not on juice, well, then I've got, I've got the good, I've got my swing back, but the swing stays your swing.

I feel like it doesn't get away from me as fast as it did when i was high all the time that's the way i put it i think

stuff would get away from me and i'd be like

where it's like uh iuk's catch you like saw that concentration against the lions where he's like and then it falls in my hand and you're like oh when i when i'm sober now i can kind of see i don't go like

i'm just like oh just just put your hands out and there it is so what it sounds like i mean and this is something that i was hoping um you would have insight into is just like oh absent this variable, I am like this.

And I have learned that actually the thing, not that, you know, the real championship was the friends we made along the way.

But it really is, it's, it is like, you, you've, of course, been the guy going on stage the whole time.

Yeah, that like, you know, the cliche and superhero movies where it's like, I've lost my powers.

And it's like, no, you always had your powers.

You just thought that this emulet or this thing gave you your powers.

This invisibility cloak or whatever.

Yeah.

And it's like, no, you don't really need that.

And again, this is something that I have gotten to myself.

I don't expect everyone to feel this way.

It's just something that, like, if you're struggling with substances, just know it's probably, it's not the substance.

It's, you can get rid of it.

You know, I think one of my favorite things about comedy and being able to do podcasts and a radio show and shit is when I talk about drinking, people reach out to me and they go, you don't demonize it.

You don't make it like

there's a lot of programs out there that make you white knuckle and they go like, you can never never do this again, but you go, well, if you understand the relationship, you understand sometimes you don't need it.

So I don't know.

I just think substances in this country are a lot, a lot of times marketed well and taxed heavily.

So they like people to be on them.

And that can kind of blur your relationship with the substance, especially now that weed is legal.

There's a lot of people pushing it that demonized it 10, 15 years ago.

And those of us that are lifelong weed smokers, it's like, man, some of y'all came to the party when it was safe and we think you're dorks.

So

maybe stop thinking, like, I gotta

be more.

No, you were smoking weed before that.

Yeah, a little bit, like a year or two before that, but not most of the.

If any of my high school friends still listen to things I make, which I bet they don't, but if they do, shout out to Ashley Studley, who right now is thinking, lady, when we got high in high school, you got on all fours in the driveway and were like, I'm dying, call an ambience.

Yeah.

But that, I mean, I think there's just people who go through shit that you're like, you see people go through it later when it's safer and you're kind of like,

as the other person in this household, Dan has been describing his vantage point on everything looking outward.

What's it been like from your perspective?

I mean, he's just, I love him more than anything.

So like, there's really nothing, even when it's different, I don't really notice.

But I think you're like, um,

he's sort of more in touch with his, he's feeling things a lot more.

I mean, my God.

The volume of the feeling is.

It's he, it's, you can tell, like, he's weeping watching the Steve Martin documentary.

Yeah.

I mean, it was like, dude,

and they told me that.

My friends who have been through rehab and my friends who have gone through like severe drug addictions were like, dude, I know it's this weed.

Get ready to cry.

Get ready to feel shit.

Get ready to like,

you know, she came home last Thursday and she

was thinking of it.

Yeah, she had a long day at work and she came home and I was depressed.

And I was just like, I don't know.

I f ⁇ ing.

And I was like, oh, Sherpa.

I've been here.

I live here.

Yeah.

I live in this place.

And she suffers from depression.

And she was kind of like, stop going on social media.

Stop doing these things.

Like, it's okay.

What do you want to do?

You want to watch a movie?

Do you want to take your brain off it?

And just sitting around talking to her, I was like, oh, this is when I would go get high.

This is when, like, if I was sad, I'm like, well, let me get high and put on WWE 2K24 and play, you know, an ambulance match.

It would just be like something like that.

Of course.

As one does.

As one does.

Let me control.

Which wrestler would you be?

Probably stone cold in that case.

But it was just, it was like

actually going through it and then waking up the next day.

It was, it is.

It's reverse shirping because I woke up the next day and I felt better.

And I was like, oh, I was bummed yesterday, but that's all right.

Some days you're bummed.

And that's just, that's what life is.

Weed being a way of imposing order on the world when for many other people, it's a way of inviting chaos.

For me, when I was younger, it was always like, I can't smoke weed unless I'm in a situation that is controlled.

I can't, I still rarely smoke weed and leave the house because less is in my control.

And the first time I enjoyed smoking weed was in college after one of my friends was like, you just haven't been doing it right.

We're going to do just you and me.

Oh, yeah, I was the first time in college guy for the record.

What?

I was the first time smoking weed in your eyes.

First time ever.

Yeah.

And now look how cool I am.

I know, the coolest.

You got a whole bag of it down by your feet.

But my friend was like, listen, we're going to put on this show, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

We're going to get, we're going to smoke, we're going to sit and we're going to watch that.

And that's all we're going to do.

And no one's coming over and we have nothing.

Tomorrow's a day off.

Like, and I, we, I laughed so hard and I was like, this is so much better.

And that's when I realized I don't like relinquishing control to too many things at once.

And that's what we did for me was it like took me out of the driver's seat.

And so it's funny to hear you be like, it puts me in the, because at least I'm control.

I know what the variable is.

Well, I was getting, you know, I was getting fucking earholed by the world.

Yeah, exactly.

And I was kind of like, well, I can't control that, but I can control this and I can get fing high and me and Byron and Dennis can smoke in my garage.

And I think my mom understood that.

My mom understood that it was like a thing where I had control over it and it calmed me down.

So when I was 16, my mom was like, if you smoke weed, you can do it here.

You're not driving.

No one's driving, but you can do it here in the garage if you just want to hang.

You're kind of that.

Like, here's a safe place to do it.

Don't get arrested because you're trying to get into college.

It was still very illegal then.

And she was like, Just he really wants you to know he was cool.

I was cool as it was illegal.

It was illegal.

I mean, that does everyone smoking weed that knew when it was illegal.

Like, it was.

I just have you wearing a leather jacket throughout the entirety.

Slicked hair.

I didn't give a shit.

No, I gave so many shits that I had to hide.

You gave so many shit.

Mom, I think you could have the losses and pain that you experienced from life at a very young age could have showed up as anger and badness in so many worse ways than like, oh, I smoke a herbal drug.

Yeah.

Like you shouldn't have been doing it, but at least you weren't like, you know, no, I feel like the order of operations harming or hurting other people or, you know, becoming any sort of like violent, angry, you know, you were peace.

It kept you at peace almost.

Yeah, it really did.

And I think it really did.

I mean, you know, 26 years later, trying to get out of it

or tone it down a little.

We talked about it the other day.

It was like bumpers when you're bowling.

Yeah.

It like just, and once they're gone, you're like, well,

I was doing pretty well with them.

We bring those back.

I dropped 300 every time.

You do have to learn to like learn the oil patterns.

Yeah.

Exactly.

That's what I've learned.

As someone whose dad was a bartender in a bowling alley, the oil patterns are.

Oh my God, we bowled recently.

And I was like, what the hell is this?

He like had a hole.

I did the spin.

I mean, he does the whole thing.

He doesn't use the holes.

He just puts it in the palm of his no, you didn't even.

You like put it in the palm.

Well you do the two in and then you upside down.

I don't do that in front of some people.

I know.

I just continue to do that after that.

I won't do the voice.

All right.

Cut that out.

Okay, cut that out.

Bowling lines?

It's also hard for me to get an entirely clean read on how you're doing because you also released a special right before you quit weed.

And when anybody who's ever dated a comic knows, right after you release something, you guys go to a weird place because you all think you're the least funny person who's ever lived.

Or at least like definitely you do that, where you're like, oh, my new hour sucks.

I'm like, well, maybe that's because you just put out a whole hour and had to start all over again.

And that's hard.

And you're like, no, I'm never going to write another funny joke again in my entire life.

That's it.

And so he's already there.

And then, so I can't tell when some things are

that or if it's the weed.

But it's just, I think he's doing a great job.

I'm very proud of you.

I'm a little miffed because I thought this episode would have been really cool.

We're going to do the episode.

Yeah, I was going to say that.

I know.

But this is also.

And I'm also going to really enjoy this.

I know.

This is also me making peace with you.

This is how my brain works.

I will now tell myself we're never going to do that episode so that I'm never disappointed you go, you didn't come back to something that you considered an addiction.

Sure.

I don't ever want to be subliminally or subconsciously encouraging you to go back to something you quit.

So I'm going to just make peace with we're never doing the episode.

And then if we ever do it, it'll be a nice treat.

And I'm going to be the guy sending you photos of the Mike Tyson year.

Well, here's the thing.

We're going to need more stuff than Mike Tyson.

I just have a personal policy to not ingest something given to me by Mike Tyson.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

So, just for my own personal life.

We got some others.

What other ones do you have?

We have, I mean, we already smoked Gary Payton in the house.

That is our number one.

Gary Payton's my number one strat.

We brought it from L.A.

Gary Payton's been getting us fed up ever since he handed me a pint glass full of Jack Daniels at that Fox retreat.

And then we smoke exclusively Gary Payton and

I go to cookies and I get a shout out Ron Funches for putting me on Gary Payton.

And I go get

the Gary Payton strain, which I love.

I think it's my second favorite strain, only the Golden Goat, which is very hard to find, but a very good strain.

They had it in Colorado at a dispensary by my mom's house.

Yeah, but I love Gary Payton.

We have a

Mello, Carmelo Anthony.

Okay.

As a Nuggets fan, that might be tough for me.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's it's selfish.

It's selfish.

That's a strain.

And then we have something I did not know until producer Chris and I went to L.A.

Pac-Man Jones.

Love it.

We're going to find out what that feels like at some point.

What's it called?

It's just called Pac-Man.

What are the names of the ghosts?

What are they called?

Oh, they have like different names.

Aren't they like leapy, beepy, and sneapy?

Blinky, pinky, inky, and Clyde.

Clyde!

There's always got to be that one contrarian.

Yeah.

Why is the ghost called Clyde?

Is the second

expandable ghost?

What other question could you possibly have?

What are they eating?

I think as odd as the other ghosts have names that end in Inky, and yet his is inexplicably Clyde.

This could be a reference to his outcast's nature or just a board program.

I've always said that about him.

He just bounces off his own.

He goes off on his own.

Yeah.

We also have Magic Johnstoned, which is another great funny

funny.

Great.

When the time is right.

When slash if.

When slash if.

When slash if.

And if not, we'll just do it with somebody else.

I'm not going to do it.

Because we had come up with what I think is a pretty good idea because, look, like when you're watching, let's say, chopped, and they come to the part where they bring out the food and everybody, you don't really, we don't get to eat the food.

So it's, it would be, whereas with the alcohol, we could tell you about what it tasted like.

With the weed, you're not really, it's less about taste.

It's more about like, how is it affecting them?

And so it might be hard for the viewer or listener, but in this case, I'm going to say the viewer

to get a grasp of like what was good or bad about it.

And so Dan and I were like, well, what if we smoke weed and then we teach Pablo how to play Rocket League?

And then you can visually see if we get better or worse based on the weed.

And it would be a visual representation of the high for the viewer.

I am going to punch a f ⁇ ing hole.

Yeah.

Whatever table you replace.

We got two tables.

You can each get one.

I have a tab open.

You can each get one.

Yeah.

The very cheap like maul or whatever.

Yeah, there's maul.

Yeah.

It's great.

All right.

I will see you guys then at your apartment.

Yeah.

Which I was so excited to have you over.

I cleaned a little bit.

Luckily, I didn't clean a lot of it.

We'll get this set up right.

Yeah.

When we didn't do it, I was like, oh, this can be good.

We'll get the setup right and we'll do a whole streaming setup.

We'll get it right.

Oh, okay.

A lot of promises.

Maybe in the living room.

The living room.

On Keddie's PlayStation.

On the living room.

In the living room.

Which, if you smash that table, that's glass.

That's a real problem.

That's going to be a real problem, Pablo.

I don't have that degree of dog in me, unfortunately.

I do.

We'll be

Thank you guys.

That's it.

That was a podcast.

Yes.

All right.

You guys, the official couple of Pablo Dori podcasts.

Well,

I don't know.

Saw Megan Sue on here.

So yeah, you guys can

challenge them to various levels.

You know what?

With the kind of people we are, we'll let them have it.

Yeah.

Flexing into the camera.

I'm giving a let's go.

Oh, okay.

They can have it.

We'll be, we'll have, we're happy to be second.

But as for the people who have to repair the furniture I destroy in this studio, Pablo Torre finds out is produced by Michael Antonucci, Ryan Cortez, Sam Dawig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rachel Miller-Howard, Ethan Schreier, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Chris Tuminello, and Juliet Warren.

Our studio engineering is by RG Systems, our post-production by NGW Post, and our theme song as always by John Bravo.

And look, I'm a modern guy, but I respect tradition.

And we'll be back next week.