Share & Tell & Fast & Furious with Katie Nolan, Amin, Pablo, and Not Charles Barkley

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

Right after this ad.

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Feeding Champagne, afforded an alcoholic volume reported by Remy Control, USA, Incorporated in York, New York, 1738.

Centaur design.

Please drink responsibly.

I don't know if all three of us have ever been in the same place at the same time.

Yeah, people have thought that you are me and I am a mean because no one's ever seen the three of us.

Finally, I just realized that for a while.

Conspiracies can end.

Oh, speaking of conspiracies.

I took it off last night because I had an itch and I slept with it off and I forgot to put it back on.

Guys, Photoshop it on.

Hold on, extend your hand.

No.

It's there.

I just photoshop it onto it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make it even a little bit.

Yeah.

Dan Soder.

Oh, what a.

I was going to say, hold on.

Three, two, one.

What a beautiful ring.

We're definitely there.

One person at the table.

And edit.

I was going to say, Dan, she's really passive-aggressive.

This is how she breaks up with you.

Oh, no.

I forgot my ring.

I had an itch that I needed to scratch.

no i did it was literally i can't explain it but if you get like an itch under your ring finger when you're trying to fall asleep or under your ring it's like i i need it off i like need to get it off so that i can itch my that's what that's what's what kate middleton said i know how is she all right i don't think that video they released of her i don't look i don't want to go down the conspiracy theory but that's not how she walks she does not walk like that

was a walk yeah it was off it was not correct

she is poised the woman at that farmer's market was like

you know so that's not

That's how you walk.

Yeah, I know.

I'm here in boy clothes.

I understand who I am.

I know what role I play.

Unlanded gentry.

I am the, I'm, you know, the people's princess pre-princessness.

Princessom.

Just waiting for a Disney miracle.

Just

us.

I just need a frog to kiss me or something.

We're here to do a lot of things.

Amine,

as a foreshadowing, I booked Amin.

It means here in person.

Yeah, I did not know.

I walked in very surprised.

I haven't seen Amin in pre-pandemic

for sure.

At least four years.

It was probably been five years.

It was July 2019.

It was the...

I thought you were going to have like a real date.

No, it was, yeah,

I could probably find one if I looked in my phone, but it it was the Espies.

That was the last time.

The last time I've seen you.

What are your memories of the Espies from 2019?

The last time you guys saw each other?

No, it's because we did the go-kart racing.

That's what we're doing Mario Kart.

Now, Katie's in my rear view.

My meaner's pretty far up ahead of me.

Yeah.

It's really just too easy for me, honestly.

I'm the most merciless.

The most ruthless.

My cart kill Slow!

Always late with Katie Nolan.

Shout out.

Some cool shit.

Yeah.

So late it's dead now.

Mina Kimes cheated.

Just gonna throw that out there.

No, it was, was it Mina the cheated?

I got a stretch.

Gary Streisky.

The only person who is banned from this show.

Yeah.

Gary Streisky because he's...

He's hot, Pablo.

Hablo.

Fablo is what I prefer to call him.

Yeah, fake Pablo.

But

others have suggested that he.

No, he cheated and he said he said as much.

He admitted it.

And I I got like legit mad.

My favorite thing was that Gary apparently used to work at a go-kart track somewhere.

And so he like consulted.

It was like Nitrous in his fucking go-to.

Yeah,

they took the governor off of his

in his go-kart.

He got rid of the governor.

And I was like, what?

I didn't even know.

I didn't know what that meant.

I was like,

how does the government get involved in this?

So we'll get to Amin and Amin's week as global internet celebrity in a bit.

That's every week.

Foreshadowing, chuckling, foreboding chuckles.

But I actually wanted to start with something that happened that involved all three of us and Katie Nolan's show about four years ago, almost exactly.

If you can play our first clip on Share and Tell.

Here's the game.

Okay.

The original idea was that I would just sit in a Zoom chat alone and send the link out to every famous person I know and wait and see who shows up.

But then Zoom got hacked and I was like, no one's going to click on it.

So now we're trying, we're doing a thing where all of us are in on this game, and the goal is to get the most famous person to join our Zoom.

But we're trying to decide.

You look nothing like yourself.

It's freaking me out.

When are we going?

Right now, go.

All right.

How do we win?

Ooh, who's it?

Pablo the mustache.

Damn it.

That's a good one.

I'm on the board.

What's happening?

Oh, wow.

Katie Nolan.

Jesus Christ.

The only way I can see Katie Nolan is through an impromptu Zoom

J-A's phone.

Oh, I went too soon to tell.

Yo, what's up, man?

Welcome, Jalil White.

I should have held on to that one.

I went too soon.

It was so good.

It really was good.

We're going to walk through some of this down the memory lane of April 2020, of course.

Damn, it was April.

It was early.

It was the beginning.

It was the beginning of the April.

But Zoom had already gotten hacked, which I forgot about since.

But I remember Zoom got, people were like showing up at other people's Zoom meetings right before we were about to do this.

And I was like, sh ⁇ , no one's going to do it.

Zoom bombing.

People were playing hardcore porn and like college lectures.

Nice stuff.

So I was worried people weren't going to show up.

And meanwhile, Amin was like texting Urkel.

Jalil White, like, hey, join.

It was like, join this meeting.

We had come up with like a specific thing you could say, a prompt that you couldn't like deviate from, that was like, hey, join this meeting.

Looking back on it now, I'm like, why didn't we just text everybody and say, I'm trying to get the most famous person I can to show up?

Because people would have said no we were challenged the goal was we needed to only have our our our pull our own no appeal exactly right our boss also as i'm sure we'll see throughout the clip i ruined the thing by the every time yelling who brought you the second somebody famous shows up because i wanted to keep track of who brought you

who and then i didn't because i got um hammered

very drunk during this i didn't know that i didn't know that but that all i think the whole time i'm doing two two hands of wine yeah so nick right begins it you Nick Wright.

Again, we're in a beef for those not paying attention to our show now.

And then Amin Brad Urkel.

Very good, very early.

I hate to keep on Urkelizing you.

But

the night goes on.

Oh, Andrew Schultz.

Ian Carmel.

Hey, Andrew Schultz, who invited you here?

There she goes.

Amin.

Yes.

Carmel, who invited you?

It was Amin.

Dude, I came heavy hitters early.

Mike Scher, you just missed Jalil White.

Mike Scher, who invited you?

Ryan.

God damn it.

Mike's here.

Mike Ryan.

Nobody.

Ali.

He's assembling the parks and rec writers room at this point.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Bob Lee with the background.

Bob Lee.

Wow.

This is Chris Long.

Chris Long, was that Diana Rossini invited Chris Long?

I think so.

I think so.

But bearded Bob Lee with the tropical Zoom background,

who had no idea what was happening and then left almost immediately.

Did not stay.

I think

Bob left with the speed of someone who could leave to catch a predator if they were allowed to leave to catch a predator.

I just remember him being like, fing no.

To be clear, Bob Lee is not.

Only relation to to catch a predator.

No other.

Correct.

Relation.

I will also say, this was my own personal hell that I didn't see coming, was that people would log on with their friend's account so their name wouldn't be their name, and they all don't look like, you know, Bob Lee had the glasses on and was like, over.

And so I had this moment where I was like, oh, as a lady who, when it comes time to name someone, I panic.

I don't have like that facial recognition brain thing, but I do panic when it comes time to say anyone's name out loud.

My brain goes, you're going to get this wrong.

You're going to get this wrong.

And so every time somebody came in as the host,

having to be like, that's um

the guy, uh, that guy's a pablo like dead black.

Yeah, I'm like, somebody say the name of this person, whoever, whoever invited this person,

say their name out loud.

Um, but no, it gets worse.

Yeah.

It only gets worse.

You can, now you can text Pablo.

That's my coaching tree.

No, I don't text me.

Who texted you?

My teammate,

Adam Lefko.

Oh, Lepko.

Lepko brought Dwayne Wayne.

Lepko brought a lot of people.

This was where it started getting crazy.

Clayton Kershaw?

He was pissed.

He's the only one who was legitimately angry to be a part of this.

Clayton Kershaw.

Look at Scott Hansen.

Technically, it's a second iPad.

It's actually technically Clayton's iPad.

Who brought Clayton?

You're welcome.

Why am I here?

Who?

Nobody knows what anybody's saying.

Who invited you?

Brandon McCarthy?

There you go.

Brandon?

Yes.

Welcome to the show.

We got to acknowledge that in the editing of that clip, we just did the thing that happened earnestly and genuinely to the person who is now one of the biggest stars in America.

Oh, yeah.

So Bianca Clayton Kershaw showing up shirtless and confused and disoriented.

When Lynn Manuel Miranda showed up,

he showed up like maybe five, 10, 15 seconds right after someone else.

Do you remember who that person is?

No.

I think I remember.

I think I know who you're talking about.

Oh, was it?

Yeah.

Was it Taylor Swift's boyfriend?

Yes.

That's right.

Yeah.

Travis Kelsey.

I forgot he was there.

He showed up.

My good friend Travis Kelsey.

I mean, his good friend Travis Kelsey showed up.

and had a line that reminded me of like, at the time, I was like, is he doing like an Adam Sandler impression?

He was like, I still don't know why I'm in here.

I was like, it's one of those things.

Yeah.

Hey, what's going on there, guys?

What up, dude?

Hey, guys.

What's up, Travis?

I'm on my phone.

I didn't even notice that it was there.

Me too.

I'm still just a little confused on what's going on, but yeah.

Let him know.

Let him know what's going on.

Okay, someone just won.

It's like, fucking Hamilton's here.

Yo, man.

Screw that guy.

I just want to say right now, Travis, you my dog, man.

I was excited for you to be there, even though I was on my phone.

Sounds like he was in between accents.

No,

stop it.

Sounds like he was in his transitionary period.

One day I'm going to do it.

From the way he talked to the way he now talks.

You understand what I'm saying?

I do.

Yes.

We're not going to do this.

It's like the reverse.

Is that your girl's best friend?

I don't follow your lore.

You have a lot of lore on the internet.

Yeah, what's going on with the.

You guys are actual friends, but this is a bit.

I just want to say that the end, which I'm assuming isn't here, is Jeffrey Wright shows up.

And then Jeffrey Wright's.

He stayed for a long time and he spends like 25 minutes

talking about the state of the world.

Yeah, like and people, people.

Let me just say this: regular people, I'm not going to name names, but like friends of ours, man, you should be lucky you're in here.

We're dropping off, and I'm like, Are y'all serious?

Jeffrey Wright is sitting here talking to us, yeah, like actual conversation.

Do you remember the names?

You remember who it was that wasn't?

I do.

Well, bleep it.

I had to say mine.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, not a Westboro fan.

You know, yeah.

There's a a coach who hung out for a while, too.

Oh, my God.

Alvin Gentry.

Yeah, Alvin Gentry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alvin.

But my favorite, I think one of my favorite subplots was that magically, both Scott Hanson and Andrew Cecilia.

We brought the red zones together.

The first time.

I don't think we've ever seen that.

I don't think so either.

I think when they showed up and saw each other, they were like, well, he's got to leave first.

Wait, Scott and I can't be on the same screen at the same time.

I thought we were on the same screen.

He's exploding.

The world's going to explode.

It was like,

I cannot imagine.

It was like, you got served.

Yeah, they did a dance battle.

Yeah.

My misses were so poorly received that I think it ended my actual relationship.

I was going to say, my regret is I did reach out to people.

I like cashed in favors that did not pay off.

And I'm like, I wish I had waited and held on to that.

I'm going to tell you right now.

I messaged Kimmel.

I should not have done that.

I messaged Ed Hockely.

Oh, boy.

And he said, hey, bud, sun's out, guns out.

Hey, hop on the Zoom real quick.

It's nothing bad.

I'll explain later.

And he has left me on red

every time since.

Oh, no.

And before that, he was answering?

Yeah, I'd interviewed him for a story.

And

that's done.

I'm merely

that guy.

Barkley.

Honestly,

Barkley, I said, hey, hop on the Zoom real quick.

It's nothing bad.

I'll explain later.

9:58 p.m.

Eastern, April 7th, 2020.

Three hours later, 11:01 p.m., he responds, brother just got this, was golfing.

Has not responded to any texts since.

Nah, I'm going to tell you, Chuck is, that's just Chuck.

Sometimes he doesn't hit back, but I will say, I've always thought, like, yo, I think me and Jalil's kind of friendship changed after that day.

Like, it used to be real cool, and now it's kind of like, hey, what's up, man?

And I'm like, damn.

Gotta say, I kind of feel like I didn't help you.

In that call.

Sam, I ruined your guys's friendships with people.

I'm so sorry.

Good segment, though.

Real good segment.

Didn't save the show, but but

good segment.

It was one of the most memorable things that happened in it was arguably my favorite.

Oh, no, my daughter was born.

No.

Oh,

second.

Second thing?

Maybe second.

There you go.

On the metal stand.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Veeen Champain, a 14 alcoholic volume, reported by Remy Control, USA, Incorporated, Incorporated, New York, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Please drink responsibly.

So, the reason I brought Amin here to New York City to this table was not to talk about what I think we have to talk about in the course of talking about the thing I wanted to talk to him about.

That's a lot of talking.

Because, Amin,

everything that's been happening to you this week,

you're a viral internet celebrity, which we'll get to.

I want to bury that lead because actually, what I wanted to talk to to you about

is Ramadan

because

I feel like I don't appreciate what it is that you and lots of athletes, let alone gas bags, are doing right now.

So can you give us like a Ramadan for dummies?

Is that a thing you can help me with?

I've done this every year since the pandemic.

I do a little, I had a video that I did during the pandemic and I always post it at the beginning of Ramadan, but I'll give you guys a spiel.

30 days, sun up to sundown, every single day.

You can't eat, you can't drink, you can't smoke, you can't ingest anything,

you can't engage in any sexual acts, and you

which is this, that's just the physical part, but the mental part is you have to be kind of a nicer, better version of yourself.

That's your challenge.

That is a huge challenge.

Honest to God, that is the hardest part for me.

It's just to keep my mind pure and not to be kind of reactive.

And especially as that's, you know, when you're hungry, your nerves get on more on edge a lot easier.

Which I've learned from marriage.

And Snickers commercials.

There you go.

Exactly.

That's right.

But yeah, so the idea is you do this for 30 days and it is meant to do a lot of things.

One thing it forces you to focus and be a better version of yourself.

Another thing is it puts yourself in the shoes of the less fortunate people who can't get something to eat whenever they want or can't get something to drink whenever they want.

But are allowed to be if they want.

Yeah, I mean, yes.

But that's because that's their 365.

Of course.

The way I was talking to Byron was one of the guys who works here.

And I was telling him, my philosophy is for 335 days a year, I'm a piece of shit.

So for these 30 days, I try to be like what I should be every day, but I'm not.

So it is what it is.

But

it is an interesting thing because as you go through it, you meet different people and you're like, oh, you're fasting.

You're Muslim or whatever.

And that is a cool feeling when you discover, oh, someone else is going through this same shared experience.

Right.

I realized as I was sipping my

cold brew and oat milk.

So this is a great segue to like the number one of the number one things.

Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Yeah,

are we cartoon steaks to you, Amin, on the desert island of Ramadan?

Did all you see?

A literal tall glass of water?

When the sun goes down,

you can.

can you can eat, yes, and drink.

And so and sex,

and use sex, which is the best time, probably.

I'd argue that sex, this is this is the funny part.

So, sex, yes, if you're married, right?

It's because that's the rule in general, 365, right?

You're not supposed to have premarital sex, you're not supposed to have extramarital sex.

So, for some people, they just go letter of the law.

Like, can't have sex during the day, during night, I can have sex.

I'm of the belief that, like, yo, I'm trying to do everything right.

So, I don't do do anything sexual in nature for 30 days, not even a solo act.

Not even solo acts.

Right.

Well, yeah.

So you're, and then you have to wake up and be nice.

And then I got to wake up and be nice.

For 29 more days.

That's wild.

Yeah.

How far into it are we now, Carrent?

This is day nine.

Oh, my goodness.

So we just finished week one.

Yesterday was eight days, you know, the first Monday after the first Monday we started, and I dropped six panels.

It's just like my Invisalign.

We're on the same train.

You and I.

We're not so different.

When it comes to,

again, the thing that I go to, which is like, what are you craving the most?

Does that change over the course of these weeks?

So it's weird because

for the most part, I don't get hungry.

I really don't get hungry.

I do get thirsty, especially when it's in the summer months.

And given what I do for a living, I talk all day.

So thirst does become an issue at some point.

But for the most part, I don't get those cravings.

But the weirdest thing, like I'll be watching TV and then a Red Robin commercial will come on.

I'm like, oh my God.

And I've like, I don't never wanted to go to Red Robin.

I've never demanded to go to Red Robin, but a Red Robin commercial will come on and I'll go crazy.

There's this new thing that Little Caesars has.

I don't know if you guys have seen them.

They're like these mini pizza puffs or whatever.

They're supposed to be the new, like the Popeyes chicken sandwich craze of 2024.

And I'm looking at them.

Yeah, I'm looking these up.

And I'm like, oh my God.

I just want like a full tray of them and just open my mouth like a

pelican and just

take it into my gullet.

Of course, of course.

We're going to somehow Photoshop Pelican and mean guzzling little Caesars, crazy puffs.

Crazy puffs.

Crazy puffs.

Oh man, what a name.

What a name.

So one thing that I have come to understand also

is Ramadan is not the same month every year.

And so where does, I guess, April rank in your power rankings of months for Ramadan to happen?

This is now

we are steadily steadily heading towards the better part of the calendar.

So it moves back 10 days every year because it's on the lunar calendar.

So every year, it's 10 days earlier than it was the year before.

Oh, wait, it's March.

Yeah, we're March.

Well, it'll end in April.

But then next year, it'll be mostly in March.

And then the year after that, it'll be February.

So, like, the number one seed is December, January time, because it's just like short days, cold weather.

But, well, I guess you don't celebrate Christmas.

Oh, it's by the way, one of the most

green idiot.

I think one of the most eat some more crazy puffs, you

Christian.

No, but it is weird because I look at Christmas as the biggest inconvenience in the world for you guys.

I don't care.

I get to, it's like a day off.

I just have fun and whatever and just hang out.

But for people who celebrate it, oh, I gotta get what kind of Christmas gift.

Oh, I gotta get, oh, I have this rabbit, oh, the milk and the cookies for Santa.

That is what we see.

Oh, my God.

I gotta get for Christmas.

Oh, boy.

I wonder what this is.

Oh, it's socks and a tie again.

I don't have to go through any of that.

And it's so freeing.

That's nice.

Can I ask you if somebody wants to, if somebody has that urge to say happy Ramadan, what is the way to say that?

Well, happy Ramadan works.

It does.

Yes.

Believe it or not.

Ramadan Kareem is like, if you want to get real, like, oh, I'm sophisticated.

Yeah, Ramadan Kareem.

Yeah, Ramadan Kareem.

That's an easy one.

Ramadan Mubarak is another one.

Those are the three main ones.

Eid Mubarak?

What's that?

So

Eid Eid is

the festival at the end of it.

Got it.

When it's done.

Well, let's talk about the end of it.

Yeah.

Is there like a traditional food that is eaten at the meal?

The way that

you celebrate finally getting to do the stuff you couldn't do.

So the day after Ramadan, the day after the last day of Ramadan is Eid.

And

you start up, first of all, it's very important.

Like religiously, they're like, you have to eat when you wake up because you have to signify, I'm not not fasting anymore.

So you can't be like, I'll get to, you know, I've got a busy day.

I'll eat at one o'clock.

No, like you got to wake up and start eating just to say, hey, yep, it's done.

Then there's a big prayer.

If I'm pretty sure whatever major American city you live in, you're going to be driving by a convention center or maybe it's a park because the weather's nice in April and you're just going to see.

hundreds of cars and a bunch of people and it's like what's going on it's the eight prayer that all the you know mosques will get together and they'll put it on like the convention center or Central Park or whatever,

whatever city you're in.

And then you do this for like three days.

You're supposed to go visit family and everyone rejoices and all that.

For me, I probably get through like day one and then I'm like, all right, we're back to normal.

Yeah, you're basically just masturbating continuously while eating a pizza.

It sounds impossible to me.

I've been like sipping pathetically now, just like little two different beverages.

You are brunching.

At the same time, I'm watching someone like Kyrie Irving do this.

Looking in for Irving.

Irving for the win.

A ball is

absurd.

Just like one of the greatest game winners of all time, Lefty.

If you haven't seen it, you were missing out on just a remarkable thing to do while not having eaten or drank anything.

So it bears noting, that game was a matinee game.

So he played the entirety of that game without drinking or power bar or anything like that.

He was just going off of whatever he had the night before.

This all helps inform in a real way what I had been imagining it was like to be you while Kyrie Irving was doing that.

Kate, are you familiar?

You're familiar with

the internet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It came across my, I didn't dig because I figured I'd be getting the first-hand account, but for people who maybe missed it,

this happened.

And the thing about this jump shot is it's confusing because the setup and the beginning of it looks like the jump shot is gonna be normal.

Okay, frame by frame, the dribble looks normal, the knee bend looks normal, the form right through here is normal, the elbows out a little wide, but that's fine.

And then the follow-through, it all goes to hell.

Everything goes to hell.

Amin is my God.

Dapped him up in Vegas.

Cool guy.

I don't care.

Not today.

He missed this shot so badly.

I don't want you to miss your shot to see me live.

Kev on Station Friends.

It's a live stream comedy show today.

It's really good.

Damn it, Kev.

Amin was such a meme that people were advertising their comedy shows on the back of videos of Amin doing, I don't even know where that was.

What should we know about the context of what visually is hard to describe any better than Kev on stage, that comedian, apparently just?

So, shout out to Kev.

That's my guy.

But I told him I've always wanted to collaborate with you.

It was an honor to do so.

This was in Dallas on Saturday.

That's the irony.

It's not just that,

it's like me and Kyrie the same weekend.

Same, like back-to-back days.

I was on Saturday, he was on Sunday.

He was like, I gotta, I gotta improve the perception of Islam in America right now.

I like to think of it as like, huh, I like that.

I think I could take something from that and do something with it.

No.

So Saturday I was in Dallas for Athletes Unlimited.

That's the women's professional league.

They actually do it in multiple sports, but obviously this was a basketball one.

It's a really cool concept, to be honest with you, because they've kind of NASCARized

basketball.

In other words, you're in teams, but the teams don't really matter.

It's all about the individuals.

And you get points for your team wins.

You get points for winning quarters, but you also get points for your individual stats.

And at the end, you have a leaderboard, and that's how you figure out who won the league.

And you can only make left turns.

Thanks.

All right.

So,

don't miss your chance to see me.

So, I was invited to do

the participate in their celebrity game, which was cool because it was a very cool event.

The game went off without a hitch.

That's from before the game while I'm warming up.

And I was shooting from that spot, and I had made a couple in a row.

And sitting behind me, Miles Elric,

who I had met, but like I kind of friend of a friend.

He was with a couple of friends of mine, Christine Williams and Tarika Foster Brasby, who used to work with us at Yale.

Shout out to both of them.

Shout out to both of them.

They do a great job covering women's hoops.

So they're all sitting together courtside and they're behind me.

And I'm making these, I don't know of anything.

I'm just doing my thing.

And so

Tyler tells me, or excuse me, Miles tells me,

you had made a couple.

I said, oh, this is cool.

Let me, let me get my phone out and start recording.

And so the first one he records is

that shot.

And he's like, oh, this is even better.

And he posts it right then and there.

But I don't know this.

So I go, I play in this game and it's fun.

You played an entire game without knowing.

No clue.

I didn't look at my phone the whole time.

So after the game, you know, we take pictures and everything.

And so I go up to Christine and Tarika.

I'm like, hey, what are you guys doing after this?

I think we're going to get something to eat, whatever.

And Miles looks at me.

He's like, you haven't looked at your phone, have you?

I'm like, no, what's up?

And he says, oh, man, I posted something.

I'm like, oh, so watch this.

During the game, like in the fourth quarter, there's a moment where we're making this comeback.

We're like a couple buckets down.

We get a stop.

My man Merricks passes me the ball up court.

And I know I have one person to beat.

So I'm like, let me just check where they are.

I don't catch the ball.

It goes out of bounds.

Turnover.

I was crushed.

I was like, I felt like I left it, let the team down or whatever.

I thought that was what they posted.

Like, oh, look at me not even be able to catch a ball.

And he was like, no, I wasn't that.

I'm like, what was it?

So I pull up the video.

Well, first of all, I open my phone.

My buddy Wells, Wells P, shout out Wells P says, my brother in Christ, what is going on here?

And I'm like, oh, okay, what's happening?

Hold on.

So then I look at my Twitter mentions and I see the video.

And the first thing I actually pay attention to is the back of my head and how.

the hair is filled in pretty nicely.

And like, oh man, the medication's working.

And I was like, oh, this is, this is awesome.

This is going well so far let's see what people are saying yeah then you know the video repeats and then i see like oh my god it it's the worst one ever right and it is for the record uh bad to the point where and i i we're comedians are you know it's not i just have to quote uh our our friend sue bird oh no sue bird saw it dude everybody saw it it went to the point where sue texted me uh i have to know included the video of Amin's shot, and her question was, this real question mark.

Like, it's AI.

She thought it was AI.

Because of hands.

Because of this, what is it?

Because AIDS is so late.

Or so deliberately terrible

that this was

a bit.

Which, to be fair, I thought when I saw American Ninja Warrior, I was like, it's a bit.

Check this out.

All right.

You got to be an athlete.

You know what I mean?

And Amin wasn't that.

He tried to get the rope and went down.

I got to say, that looked like a Shaquille O'Neal free Though.

That was just ugly.

This is the thing with Amin.

You never know.

Is that Amin has a skill.

And I'm gonna say skill.

Actually,

he's a skill

at being somehow wildly, globally viral for doing something that seems so athletically inept that it feels like it was on purpose.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny because I think my skill is

letting the joke be the joke.

And if I'm the joke, then

I'm going to laugh.

And so I think a lot of people.

I haven't seen you laugh yet, I don't think.

Oh, no, I mean, like, my Twitter timeline is me retweeting all the funniest things that people have said because it's legitimately funny.

But to that point, right?

Like, part of me was like,

when I saw this, Katie, I was like, Amin gave in too soon.

Like, there, if, if you, if you were, if, if Amin was not somebody who already had the previous experience of like, I know how to deal with this, I'm going to race car metaphor.

I'm going to turn into the skid.

Yeah.

Right.

gonna,

instead of that, form a war room of advisors.

Okay.

Like, this thing has just happened.

I'm seeing for the first time.

Pablo, Katie, what should I do here?

What would you have advised of me?

Retire.

I am, but that's Katie.

I haven't played in like a moment.

You go into hiding.

I did retire.

What are you doing?

What?

Oh, I thought you were taking off a ring again.

Oh, no.

God, no, I didn't.

I don't have a ring.

I'm very single.

No, I think you did the right thing.

I would have done that.

I think I would have been upset.

I know you would have done differently.

What would you have done, Pablo?

I think I would have concocted some story.

I would have said, I mean,

you are now going to lean in.

What you're going to do, you're going to tape another video, and it's going to be you with a newspaper from the day before.

Just got to find a newspaper.

You're going to say, I'm going to troll America into thinking this is what my jump shot looks like.

Oh, that's actually a pretty good idea.

So

are you saying you do have a good jump shot that just was one bad shot and it was the only shot they got on camera?

Is that the story?

That's not the story.

That's what happened.

It's not a story.

And do you have video of you doing any of the good ones?

From that game, no.

No.

Yeah.

I mean, look, here's the thing.

This is the other thing I did not realize about these celebrity games, bro.

How did you have a scene?

Is that everyone's showing up with a team of like dedicated shooters who are documenting their every move?

And I was just like, I just showed up to play basketball.

So now I'm seeing everyone post stuff and they're like all these highlights and stuff like that.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't have any of that because I didn't have anyone who was following me.

There's just one video that one person took at that moment.

And what are the odds that the one video that one person took at that one moment is the one that you look like you don't know how to play basketball?

No, as Kev on stage said, it looks like he does until the end of the day.

It's not, he's not wrong, looks exactly correct.

This is gonna be normal.

But, like, this is this is this is why I didn't feel like I had to defend myself.

So, what you, I think, what we want, though, what Katie is trying to frost Nixon you into telling us is

we understand the context now of your fasting and your psychology and your physiology.

What is responsible for the way that your hand

looked?

The simple answer is the ball slipped.

It's very light because it's a women's ball.

I'm not used to it.

You're playing with the ball.

Oh, it's our fault.

Oh,

it's the ball's fault.

No, but no, but the reality is, man, like the ball did lie.

It slipped, man.

It slipped, and I tried to get it back, and then it didn't work, and that was it.

The reality is, and this is when Katie says, Oh, like, oh, what are the odds?

Like, this is why I don't feel the need to really defend my shooting for him because, yes, I haven't played in like six or seven years, but prior to that, I used to play pickup ball all the time.

Media games, media games.

And prior to that, when I worked for the Suns, I played pickup games with staff, with coaches, with players sometimes.

So I have no shortage of people, including, by the way, we saw him early on this this thing, Andrew Schultz, one of the biggest roast comedians there is.

You think I hoop with Andrew Schultz and he knew that about my jump shot and has kept it a secret all these years because he wouldn't go that far, right?

This, I mean, like, it just is.

I can vouch for the fact that no one, it's not a running joke that a mean shoots a basketball like what you saw in the video.

That is not a thing.

I've been around many people who played in these games with a mean.

What I am here to say, though, is that the way that you must have processed that, having now learned about how ramadan is a season in which you are trying to be open-minded and and uh kind full of goodwill and cheer

it feels like truly a test that i would have made up in a screenplay about how a means ramadan might be going right now no you know what it is it is definitely like the comeuppance of the bad guy right for sure because the funniest thing to me katie isn't the jokes the jokes are hilarious but the funniest thing are like the people who are legitimately angry.

Like,

you guys mean to tell me this guy, da-da-da-da.

And there's this one guy, and bless his heart, I don't think he meant poorly, but I think he's connected in some way to Zion Williamson because he has New Orleans and his thing and his whatever.

And like his first thing is like, this guy made fun of Zion Williams's wait for how long?

And da-da-da.

And I said, hey, buddy.

First of all, yeah.

Actually, my first response is like, yeah, you're right.

Let's go get that, right?

Like, because what am I supposed to say?

Yeah, I did something that's ridiculous.

Ridicule me for sure.

Just like Zion being out of shape was ridiculous, so I ridiculed him.

We're going to cook up at the end of this segment now a whole amine highlight reel with like dramatic,

soaring music

all about what we found footage-wise, that makes the case.

Oh.

Yeah.

Still, weird finger stuff.

That's a lab.

It's a lab.

I had to put English on it.

I have mangled hands.

Your hands are funny because my left hand.

Let's be real about it, Beat Sands.

For those not watching on YouTube.

My left hand, I've been told I could be a hand model and a football.

Excuse me, you could book hand jobs.

Not this month.

Thank you.

So

Congress is debating whether TikTok, you know, the platform should be allowed in America or not.

Chinese government, they're deposing people.

Passed in the House.

Bill passed 352 to 65.

It's headed to the Senate now.

That was in the House.

Got to go through the Senate.

And if it does, then President Biden has said, if Congress passes it, I'm passing it.

And then what it is, is they have six months, I believe, to sell the company

or it will no longer be allowed.

Right.

For the Chinese firm Byte Dance to divest from it so that it can exist in America free from the alleged interference by the Chinese government.

And the movement on this has been very quick in a way that's like, is this top?

Yeah.

And so what I wanted to have Katie Nolan provide us was just truly like the apocalypse bunker, the time capsule of of how should we remember this platform before it goes away forever.

And Katie is the only person in my life who I trust with this very important task.

So when, so Dan, my fiancé, I know that the current evidence seems like I don't have one, and I am, I'm very sorry.

But my, he doesn't have TikTok.

He doesn't understand it.

So what I do is I have it and then I save them.

And then when he comes home from the road, I'm like, here are the seven that I think you would think are funny.

And we go through them together.

I got Katie as like a 1950s housewife with like the dress and the apron and Dan comes in with a hat on and a suit and he sits down.

Yeah.

And she gives him a kiss on the cheek, hands him like scotch on the rocks and the tick tocks.

Here you go.

These are the tick tocks of the day, honey.

I don't cook.

I don't clean.

Let me show you how I got this ring.

I show him TikToks.

There you go.

So I, when I heard that TikTok might be going away, my first thought was like, oh, there's so much on here that like we reference the way people would quote movies, we quote these TikToks.

They've become like a real part of our relationship so i downloaded all the ones that would make up what i have named here the dan and katie soundboard

so i don't know that these are like necessarily like top tick tocks of life ever but these are the ones that have stayed with us and are uh like formative to our relationship how many of these would you say you have saved if you were just like guesstimate how many

it says at the top

well for the soundboard this is uh on the soundboard we have 66.

Jesus.

We've got other TikToks that aren't like quotes,

but they're just funny things that we say to each other.

Or that are like just funny videos that I like.

I feel like the government should call you as a witness.

Okay, so this is a little boy.

He's, I'll give you the context.

A little boy, he's fishing with his family, and he's got like a snotty nose.

Here's the TikTok.

Do you don't have any fish foods?

Hilarious.

Fish foods?

Do you don't do you don't have any fish foods?

Perfect.

What I'm realizing is

you guys say this to each other.

Fish foods all the time.

Mostly your baby voice, as it were,

is actually this child's voice.

Is this baby?

Yep.

Then we got this one.

This one's my favorite.

My dad just came back from Starbucks and he brought me a cold brew and I was like, oh, thank you.

And I went to grab it.

And my mom looks up from her work and she goes,

you and your iced coffee.

Do you you want to call me a slur, Laurie?

That's so funny!

I feel like a scientist who is finally

getting a real insight into the interior lives of his experiment subjects.

Like, oh, how about this one?

Okay, this is dangerous.

Okay, how about this?

How about this one?

She's thick and juice.

See, she's so sexy and gorgeous.

Look how snatched.

Look Look how snitched.

Look how small.

Ooh, the waist.

I mean, the ass is fat.

The ass is on planet 10.

Say that all the time.

The ass is fat.

The ass is on planet.

For the record, the woman that's saying this, her ass is not fat and it's not on planet 10.

That's why it's funny.

I can vouch for that.

She's being funny.

Okay, wait, there's more.

I can't believe you guys aren't.

Absolutely loving these.

These are the funniest

thing I've ever seen.

Please keep going.

I'm beginning to realize my algorithm is very different.

Okay, my purpose is.

that's remarkably different algorithms.

Hey, guys, just threw up like a motherfucker.

Apparently, you can't gulp, gulp, gulp, line cucumber Gator Raid.

But who knew?

She's Louise.

Perfect.

So do you

follow the

on TikTok?

I think it's Trash Gas Station Lady.

No.

It's a woman who actually works at a gas station, and she imitates what the customers say to her.

And

the customer voice she uses sounds like that woman.

Yeah, that woman might be her customer.

How about this guy?

He's on a fishing boat having the time of his life.

He's like, your best friend's dad.

You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.

You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.

It's amazing you said that with no consonants.

You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.

I got to say, so far,

I would absolutely vote to ban TikTok in.

What's wrong with you?

Okay, how about this one?

I mean, I do think you're going to like this one.

And if I'm wrong, it's gonna hurt my feelings.

Okay.

Tall men like short women.

So, where does that leave tall women?

I don't know, Shaq.

You told me when's the next game?

Can I get some uppies?

Uppies?

Okay, that one's funny.

It's a guy looking up at the camera going, I don't know, Shaq, you tell me when's the next game.

Can I get some uppies?

But he's doing also like the kicking game thing with swaying side to side and like rubbing his chin.

It's funny.

Here's a stitch.

It's of a guy clearly trying to do that thing where he's like, I'm an ally for women.

And then somebody stitches it with a video of a dog.

So here we go.

Why do guys think it's okay to lay their hands on a woman?

Like, bro.

The funniest thing you've ever seen.

That is funny.

That is incredibly funny.

You guys have seen Niamh from Catfish on the wall.

Oh, yeah,

this elevator respects women.

Yeah.

God.

What does that, how could that be?

It was

back when Ray Race.

It was that long ago.

Hold on.

In this elevator, we respect women.

Is he doing that?

Oh, that's a sports thing?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fairly certain.

You're right.

Yeah, in this elevator, we respect women.

Oh,

ridiculous.

Wait, like, was he trying to be funny?

No, he was trying to be stupid.

He has his hand like this.

Does he not have his hand like this?

I'm fairly certain he has his hand on his chest.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Because, like, if it were a joke, I'd be like, no, it's not a joke.

That feels like a little bit.

It's not a joke.

Yeah.

Hand on his chest in this elevator.

We respect women.

It's funny.

I was like, yo, man, that's what I'm saying.

That works making me sick.

Real men show strength through patience and honor.

This elevator is abuse-free.

Hashtag

all caps respect.

Oh, man.

I thought it was in this elevator.

We respect women.

That's much funnier.

You got it.

Also, you can't.

Do you own that elevator?

How do you know it's abuse-free?

Somebody might have gotten into something.

He squats in there.

Sure is.

Sure is.

That's it.

Yeah, no, it's.

I mean, she'd had a lot longer of a video, but I only just clipped off that little part.

All right, I got more.

Hold on.

This is really a soundboard of like Dan and Katie's favorite weird children.

They've

all like them.

This one is a stitch.

It's very kid heavy.

This one's a side-by-side stitch.

I feel like when you have kids, it's not as cute and endearing.

We don't.

And these are our only children.

We won't be having any more.

I was gonna get more.

I was gonna.

So

this one, the original video is somebody playing the piano with the letters of

the notes.

So, it'll be like C-A-B-G.

And then it's stitched with, side by side, a woman who's singing, pronouncing those as if they're worth

yes.

So, it's very funny.

And if you don't like this,

you are not friends.

Face,

fabric,

egg butter, egg egg, tof,

the for cubba, sexy.

Perfect.

That's perfect content.

You can't get rid of that.

How about this?

There was a trend.

This isn't on our soundboard, but we'll go outside of it now.

There was a trend.

Yeah, why would you take any of this out?

There was a trend.

This would be the least edited segment we've ever aired.

There was a trend where TikTok came out with these voice filters.

So you know they have video filters where you can, you know, make yourself look like whatever.

These were voice filters.

So it could make you, you would just talk regular and and it would sound like SpongeBob or you would talk regular and it would sound like some other voice.

People were trying to break the voice filter by using it on things that wasn't like their voice.

So it was like a car starting or playing guitar.

There's no other way you would run into this hilarious sound if it were for TikTok.

We have to save TikTok so that you can know that when somebody plays or somebody starts their car with a voice filter, it sounds like this.

Seeing if the new voice filters work on my exhaust.

Okay, wait, wait.

Or when they play the beginning.

Wait, go.

It's hilarious.

This is when you play Saxony.

I'm sure that someone has already done this, but I wanted to try the voice effect filter on this actual one.

Let's try it.

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, shoo, sheer, shirt, wishy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

wishy, wishy, wishy, wishy, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, I think we found something.

So I've been seeing a lot of people like take this voice filter thing and try and break like break it or something

and like crying or laughing or just something crazy funny or something like that.

And I wanted to try it on guitar or try playing guitar and just see

what it would sound like.

So, yeah, let's try it out.

Here's me playing guitar.

Amazing.

Incredible sound the vaguely racist, but I'll allow it.

Yo, I didn't even think about that.

I did.

I certainly cut that one.

Katie and Dan have a love.

Dude, that is truly

incomprehensibly profound.

And I say incomprehensibly because

this is what you're putting into your time capsule.

That's not entertaining to you.

All of this.

Let me ask you a question.

Are you or are you not going to incorporate some of these sayings into your vows?

They say,

if you would have told me three years ago that we would be standing here together in front of our friends, family, and God, I would have never believed you.

Wow, the timing was impeccable.

Here is what I found out today on today's show.

Apollo Tory find out.

What did Apollitary find out?

I found out that Katie Nolan's taste in TikToks is the Amin's follow-through

of internet curation.

Holy sh,

Katie, that's what's been going on in that brain this entire time?

Do you want a knuckle sandwich?

Stop playing weird children on your cell phone.

A knuckle sandwich.

Do you want a knuckle salmon?

Do you want a knuckle sandwich?

Oh my god.

Amin, what did you find out on today's show?

Yeah, I find out that

Dan and Katie have a love that could never be matched by anybody on this earth.

I'm truly excited to see you guys joining holy matrimony and terrified by what comes next if TikTok gets banned.

Why are you playing another video?

Oh, she's not down here.

Whoa, Jason.

Nice.

All right, I'm going to hit you.

I will hit you.

If I have to do that one more time, I'm going to hit you.

Whoa,

That one is great.

Nice, Jason.

Take Hazy.

Take Easy.

Whoa, Jason.

Nice.

I guess I should point out that in the course of making this episode with you guys today, I did also text Ed Hockey again.

And he has once again left me on red.

Where'd you text him?

He has read receipts.

Hi, Ed.

Would love to talk to you again for an episode.

Just let me know.

Thanks.

Exclamation point.

Oh, no, it's

a lot.

Is it a lot the read receipts are on why would he leave oh no when i said he left me on red i mean literally i'm getting a reader turn them on

because

at some point

you have to send the message

and i can see that you've read these oh wait this is my favorite one

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a Metalark Media Production.

And I'll talk to you next time.