Share & Tell with Dan Soder, Katie Nolan, Randy Savage, Andre the Giant, Don King, and Pablo

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

I want you to piss on me.

Time for tinkle time.

Let's get the top out, baby.

Time for you to make a sissy.

Right after this ad.

You're listening to DraftKings Network.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognak Veen Champain of Fortune Alcoholic Volume reported by Remy Control USA Incorporated in York, New York, 1738, Centaur design.

Please drink responsibly.

For the YouTube and DraftKings audience, you can see

we have like the water that they would serve when you're being deposed.

Yeah, I'm going to keep my deposition water up here.

We need a picture.

All we're missing is a giant clear picture.

In case you ask me the question, I'm going to whisper.

I'm going to whisper answers to

Katie.

I do not recall.

Dan Soder, Katie Nolan, thank you for coming back.

You guys inaugurated this weird format that has somehow not been destroyed yet by the many imitators who've tried to be you guys since a lot of whom have been me.

Yeah.

You with other men, you

get around.

She podcast cucks me.

Who are you on today?

You can't do voices like I can.

I actually want to start, though.

And congratulations, by the way, on having your own podcast.

Thanks, dude.

Oh, yeah.

You're cucking your own pod today.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm finally pushing something.

Everyone's like, do you have something to push?

Go listen to to soder yes still no from me oh wait yes i do what do you got january ninth ninth what my semifinal of jeopardy is airing finally got a date on that it has been people have forgotten i was even on it myself included come feeling a long time the secrets that you have kept i mean and at this point i forget half of them because that's how my brain works dude ever since i found out that you went to college with

Vivek Vivek yeah he sucks dude talks about every time he sees a new story about him he's like Pablo the fact that Pablo Pablo went to school with this guy.

I like that you just said that he sucks.

I like that no part of you was like, I probably shouldn't say this.

You were like, this guy blows.

I've been saying he sucks for 20 years now.

It is that now people now feel like that's a good thing.

That's like Trump.

I got old, old, old tweets saying I hate Trump.

And everybody was like, oh, you can't say that.

I'm like, but I said it when he was just a guy.

If the guy in my journalism 101 class from the University of Arizona ran for president, I would be very loud about it.

Wade, I would like to know more about Dan's journalism experience.

Yeah.

It was short-lived and due to Jon Stewart.

What do you mean?

Who's was it?

I loved Jon Stewart so much.

I knew I was going to be a comedian.

So I was like, the agreement of me going to college was strictly just to get the degree.

My mom was like, please just get your bachelor's degree.

So I feel like as a single mom that raised a kid, I did my job.

But I knew from the time I was like 20, I was going to do stand-up.

So I was like, oh, none of this matters.

I'm not going to use any of this.

What do I want to study?

And I was always like, I don't know, media, like journalism and political science, because those are the two biggest things that run the world.

And then I was also like, well, it could be a cool backup.

I loved,

I loved certain writers.

So I was like, oh, well, let me learn how to write journalism.

And then I went in and I was like, maybe I'll do broadcast journalism.

And there was just this guy in my 101 class that was such a dildo that I was like, print, I'm going to do print journalism because he was like loud.

He was, I think, I don't think he was a frat guy, but he was like one of those like

frat adjacent.

He was, I was, I was telling Katie recently I was around one of these guys that

thinks they're the star, but they're not the star.

They just, in their mind, they're the star.

And everyone, and you can, you can see this.

This is Vivek Ramaswamy.

It's exactly it.

The way you described him, I was like, that's what I said to you off air.

I was like, if the guy from my journalism 101 class would have ran for president, I'd be very loud about how big of a dildo he was.

Enormous dildo for Vake Ramaswamy.

Just to reiterate.

In a bad way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, not in a good, not not in a suctioner.

Kind of take care of that.

As in the price on the website gets lower.

The biggest little brain.

It'll melt in the dishwasher.

It's just a horrible dildo.

The Real World came to the University of Arizona to like interview people for the show, doing like an open call.

And

I remember going to journalism class.

Shout out Professor Jim Netzel.

He was awesome.

Netzel?

Ninzel.

Ninzel.

Ninzel wrote for the,

he actually wrote for the newspaper in town, so he knew what he was talking about.

Whoa.

And he comes to my comedy shows.

Oh, that's cool.

He's a veteran local journalist, joins Tucson Sentinel staff, Jim Ninsel.

Yeah, Jim Nitzel.

June of this year.

Shout out to Jim Nitzel.

How are you spelling it?

With a C-R-NS.

N-I-N-Zoll.

T-Z-E-L.

T-Z-E-L.

So in his class, Journalism 101, I was working at the radio station already.

I was already working at KFMA.

He's got that voice.

I just let him write on there.

I go into the class because I got offered the night shift.

I got to fill in for Greg Rampage USA.

I got to do the pit, which was the metal show.

The pit.

Shout out, KFMA Day.

What did Greg Rampage USA sound like?

He's the best.

Now he's Gregor.

He's at the end in Seattle, but he's like a tall dude who's very fun, but he would get into it.

He'd be like, it's the pit.

And so I would try to do that, but I couldn't do it the same.

It felt weird.

It felt like it was our version of W and BC, but it was me going, the parent.

And people are like, nah, dude, you don't do it like rampants.

Please stop.

Yes.

People are calling in.

Please stop.

I was like, it's the pit.

But what's funny is Professor Nitzel was like doing a,

the AM station was having a mayoral debate for Tucson.

That's huge.

It is huge.

And I skipped his class to cover the night shift.

And he was there moderating the debate.

And I remember him walking by the studio window, holding a coffee and looking over and going, what the hell are you doing here?

Like through the the window, he's like, what are you doing here?

I was like, I work at KFMA.

From that moment, he was so cool to me in class because he's like, oh, you're like, you're a peer.

Yeah.

He's like, you work, you work in radio.

What are you?

You're just like, it was weird.

One of us.

But this guy in my class came in after the

real world auditions and he was like trying to impress this girl in our class.

And he was like,

Yeah, I just sat down with a beer and I basically pretty much told him that, you know, like I'm a party animal.

It was just like he was talking.

And I just remember in my, in my desk being like, I hate this guy.

So if he ran for president, I would be in the same position you are.

I would hate him.

People call me up with stories about Vivek that I am now like just waiting to.

Did you see what happened?

Okay.

Because you were public about it.

I was very public about it, which I loved.

The New York Post asked his campaign, quote, while Vivek doesn't ever recall meeting this gentleman,

we wish Pablo the very best and hope he finds success in his career and life, whether that be through talking about former classmates as he is now or possibly through something more productive, like creating jobs or building a business as a vaik has done.

Oh, please.

He wrote that.

He absolutely did.

No, it was Trisha McLaughlin, senior advisory communication.

No, I bet his was a little spicier.

And then Trisha, you said?

Trisha.

Trishelle

knew that and edited that to make it sound more passive aggressive.

What if we said?

Because I majored in PR and I know how that works.

So you knew how to soften it.

You must have had assholes in your PR class.

Well, it was just a lot of people who wanted to do celeb PR.

I feel like there was like a show on E around the time that I was in college that was like celeb PR.

It was like the women that work for like the modeling agencies and stuff.

I think that was like really hot.

So everybody wanted that.

Day one of PR class.

They were like, if that's the job you want, they'll pay you absolutely nothing to do it and you'll be disposable to them.

What you should be going into is corporate PR.

And so that's when I was like, so like an oil spill happened there.

Yeah, of like damage control.

Yeah.

That's what I wanted to learn.

Covered up for a water poisoning.

That was the most interesting part of it to me.

It was like what to do when shit hits the fan.

That is good for your career later on.

My PR strategy, as quoted by the post, Torres sent a one-word response to the post regarding the statement from the campaign: Lol.

Yeah,

you realize this is leading to your Frost Nixon.

That's right.

Dude, I have thought of

running for president across the table from him and just have

just an intense

eye.

Oh, my God.

Bring it in.

Come on.

Come on.

Make it happen.

Oh, God.

You and him having a legit conversation.

Because if you prepped about what you would like to, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it would be very difficult to beat you in a debate.

But it's not necessarily a debate.

Just

an intense

debate.

Yeah, which would, I'm saying, any politician turns everything into a debate.

Yeah.

We should also film like the prep sessions where you guys coach me out.

Yeah.

I would

love to see this.

I think

I think think this could be the event of 2024 for you oh man we can sell it as a live stream oh my god promo code dildo yeah really put it on only fans studio and everything now

did you guys see nick curios tennis player nick curios yeah he's on only fans now well now they're doing this thing on i noticed doing naked well not yet yeah well because there's people in dance industry that put out their comedy specials on only fans so i didn't know if like that i never said his name right curiosity they're trying to bridge into like Kyrios, Kyrios, Kyrios.

This he announced he decided to deal with OnlyFans.

Um,

and he is going to like post updates for his fans.

Okay, um,

nothing, nothing yet about any uh feet or other parts of his body.

We getting he pledges to show fans his quote-unquote life.

He's gonna play, he's gonna play wiener tennis.

What is this?

He's gonna slap the

little ping-pong ball.

Have you ever seen wiener tennis on play?

Hey, guys, don't forget there's a premium membership where you can watch me play dong tennis.

Ping-dong.

Get it?

Ping-dong?

I like dong.

Like ping-pong, but with a dong.

Come on, guys.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Ramy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Vene Champagne, Orton, Alcoholic by Volume and 40 by Remy Control, USA Incorporated in Europe, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Please drink responsibly.

So, my dad's a urologist.

Nice.

He's retired, but he still gets shirts from the NYU urology department.

They love, I don't guys know this.

Urologists love a custom t-shirt.

Do they?

Well, I would too if my job was so funny.

Yeah, if you're if you're working with wean tubes all day,

I'm sure you kind of want.

Yeah,

you need a T.

The P T?

The wean.

I mean, so the reason I bring this up, though, is the back.

Okay, and let's see the back.

I don't know if actually I'll hold it.

You got to describe what the back is.

I'm very excited.

For our audio listeners, Papa's now turning around.

It says, Let's go crazy.

Let's go nuts.

And it's quoted, attributed to Prince.

And it's a banana,

bowling.

A purple banana bowling.

Okay.

And I think it's a condom.

And I think it's an inflated condom.

That's what I was theorizing.

Because come closer to the fire.

I'm going to go to the slide over here.

I'm going to say maybe it represents the bladder.

What's this?

Isn't that the top nipple of a condom?

Not really.

Isn't that the reservoir of a condom?

It looks like just like an empty blueberry.

Did your dad explain to you what the back of the shirt is?

My dad

had no sort of like textual interpretations of this.

But I just like that they attributed it very clearly to Prince.

Right, me too.

Because you don't want to get that confused.

Let's go crazy.

Let's go nuts.

Isn't it let's get nuts?

You want to get nuts?

Let's get nuts.

No, it's 2016.

Did you just get this shirt?

Yeah, it was in my dad's closet.

And he was like, he texted me a photo of it, and I was like, I'm going to wear this in life now.

Yeah, that's the merch you do want for your parents' job.

If your dad's a urologist, you have so many good

shirts that have penises on them without having a penis on them.

Oh, in the middle, it's a bladder.

So people were...

It's a bladder, but it does look like a penis and balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think that's the kidneys into the bladder

down into the urethra.

Yes, that's the family crust over my chest.

It's the most cock-adjacent merch I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you know they can't just put a dick on it.

It feels like we have to be like,

we can kind of put a dick on there.

Bananas.

I bet there's a lot of bananas.

But ladies pay, too.

Ladies do piss.

Ladies is pissed, too.

Go on, Brussels.

Ladies take your piss, too.

Sometimes for money.

on businessmen.

Well, and now that's, and what were you saying about OnlyFans?

That's right.

And that's why I'm saying, check us out on OnlyFans.

I'm launching my

Katie's Pissy page on OnlyFans.

OnlyFans.com slash Katie's Pissy page.

It's a soft, wet launch.

We're done doing stoder, then we pull out the tarp and we make the money that bought those Ike

book cases.

Here's the article I'm bringing.

Pablo, tell them about it.

Hit them, Pablo.

So the headline is,

I want to get the

citation right

because it is app.com.

And what's that?

I'm done with APP.

You know me.

The Asbury Park Press.

Of course.

We all know that.

Of course.

It's just Bruce Springsteen at a typewriter going,

I don't know what's going on else.

I guess gym memberships.

Today, a factory closed down.

In sports.

In sports.

A screen.

Seems like a cool kid, man.

Bruce Springsteen.

NJ Bill would allow consumers to cancel gym memberships online and easily.

Impossible.

That's a trap.

Why?

To quote Admiral Akbar, that's a trap.

Why?

Gym memberships are notorious.

But that's what I'm saying.

I think this is the government's getting involved.

The government is now threatening.

They're like, excuse me, you can't keep backing these people into a corner, which, to be clear, we were told explicitly to do.

So Katie is using the word we.

We should explain this.

We should.

In a previous life,

before her superpowers, before the spider bit her,

before the hilarious, the funny spider bit her, she was selling memberships at Equinox on the Upper East Side.

That's right.

You got to explain, Katie, though, where Equinox ranks in the hierarchy of gyms.

Especially in New York City.

It is upper L.

And this was pre, like, LA Fitness was just coming onto the scene when I was at Equinox.

Equinox was the first time.

Was Planet Fitness around?

AKA the bargain bin

bargain bin front was 24-hour fitness which was like a block, half a block away, open 24 hours.

Is that done?

I don't know.

I don't keep up on the industry.

I remember being around.

It's gone.

It's closed.

And 24-hour fitness was a literal thing.

It was open 24 hours a day.

Yes, and that was the hardest thing to sell against is people would be like, well, I can get this membership for a lot cheaper across the street, and I can go 24 hours a day.

I can go at 3.30 a.m.

And so we were prepared to, that's what I was supposed to say.

I'm like, look, that sounds good on paper, but you're basically going to go to the gym at the same time every day.

And the odds of it being 3 a.m.

are pretty low.

It's actually bad for you to go to the gym at 3 a.m.

Unless you're working that kind of schedule.

Do you work that kind of a job where you work at night and you sleep during the day?

They would change it right back into it.

And then I'd say, okay, well, then let's just be honest.

I think you'd rather have a gym that you can know is going to be not crowded.

It's going to be clean.

You're going to have nice equipment.

Well, what are some of the amenities?

Well, we've got these chilled eucalyptus towels available on every floor.

Was that the first thing you led with?

Because it was the thing that I cared the most about.

I was like, look, these towels are already cold and they smell like a tree.

Yeah.

Just put those right on your neck.

You can take as many of them as you want.

Did you ever steal them?

I would use them.

Look, the most I ever went to a gym was when I went to them.

I didn't.

Did you ever sneeze into them?

Yeah.

No.

They're wet.

Well, that's the perfect crime.

Yeah.

It's like murdering somebody with an icicle.

It melts.

It's not.

No evidence.

Is that snot or just eucalyptus?

I think it would sting to blow your nose with them.

They were really strong.

Dude, you'd be one of those dudes who go, I regret this.

I regret this.

oh my god it's in my eyes sir you didn't happen to sneeze into the eucalyptus towel did you

but you had a list of things that you were i guess taught yeah we had a whole training program that i did really well at turns out i was a good salesman i just didn't like the way it made me feel on the inside because i was trapping people into these memberships because it was impossible to cancel them um we would have initiation fees i don't know if this is how gym memberships still work this was many moons ago fresh out of college so i was putting my degree to good work.

There was an initiation fee of a couple hundred bucks.

And then every month they would pay like $175 to go to the gym.

$175 a month?

If you wanted to go to all of them, that was the all-access.

Again, at the time, who knows what it is now?

One gym was $135.

One gym.

So one gym is $135, $175.

Plus, like a $300

initiation fee.

Unless you sign up in December or January was the big push, and I think you could get no initiation fee.

Now, let's say I'm in.

Let's say I come in the door, right?

I wish to be initiated.

Jump us in to Equinox.

How do you get out of an Equinox membership?

You have to, you have to wait a year.

You have to be there for at least a year.

And then you have to go in and cancel.

I mean, they really.

You got to show up.

You have to show up.

They make it like a saw movie where they're like, somewhere there's a key that gets you out of this walk.

You have to cut off your leg.

Well, at one point, it was during the recession, hence why I didn't have a job.

And people were getting laid off.

And

people were like if i

i can't join this because i might be about to lose my job

they didn't want to sign up for the year deal you have so much more time for your fitness so then the um i think the company started to be like if you get

um if you i mean i don't want to say a pink slip but basically like if that you can bring that in that's and we'll let you out of your if you can prove they laid you off we'll let you out of your

game walk to your equinox yeah where you go i can no longer work out here and they're like why the they let me go because people weren't weren't signing up because they were like, there's no way I'm going to be stuck in this for a year.

And if I get laid off, there's no way I'll be able to afford it.

And so we were like, well, we'll still sign.

You should still sign.

Let's turn that pinkflip into a punch card.

Did you only get paid if they got signed?

I got, that was my commission.

I think I got like $12,000 a year.

So

nothing.

Yeah.

And then you would get a lot of people.

Okay, so this is important.

So Katie Nolan as recruiter of vulnerable people.

So by the way, this story is coming out uncoincidentally.

It's December.

Yeah, yoga.

If you're going to join a gym, do it now.

You're right now the best deals?

Because they're high.

That was when our high, again, this could all be different now.

It's many moons ago, but our highest

quota was in December.

So you were like doing anything you could to sign people because they expected you to sign a ton of people.

And if you hit your quota, you got your bonus.

And if you went above your quota, everything above that, you got like extra money.

Damn.

So it was like, and if you didn't hit your quota, do you remember at all what the quota was?

No.

Like how many memberships?

No, I don't even remember your phone number.

Numbers in my brain just disappear.

It is true.

So

you can start with a six.

No.

No, 303 because of the band.

There you go.

303.

Got the Colorado area code.

And that's all that matters.

But wait.

So let's take it from, I've walked into this equinox.

Which equinox was you?

I was at 54th and 2nd.

Have you called

previously?

That's where I worked at Dos Caminos on 50th and 3rd.

Which is, I mean, there's so many times in our lives where we just missed a

virtuous cycle.

I'm telling you, I know this sounds crazy, but there's so many times in our lives where we just missed each other.

And I feel like that's proof to me that we're going to be able to do it.

There is somebody who ate at those Caminos and then had to work out at Equinox.

Yeah, I probably sold them on that shrimp quesadilla folded.

And then I probably had my friend go help clean it up in the bathroom after they left the gym.

Okay, wait.

Had you previously called or spoken to anybody at an Equinox when you walked in for your membership today?

No, I've...

You're a fresh walk-in.

Yep.

I'm somebody who has wanted to be better about my health.

We'll get into all that.

Okay.

I just need to know sales-wise, if you've spoken, because so many times, we had this guy, Andre, who was one of the salesmen at our Equinox, who had, he was like an institution at Equinox.

He'd been there since I feel like it opened, but he wasn't like beloved by the company.

And I wondered why, because he sold so many memberships.

It's because he didn't do it the Equinox way.

He just cast a very wide net with whoever leaded generation.

And then whenever anybody would come in, it would be Mike, Katie, you're up for a walk-in.

Here's a walk-in.

And I'd get all excited.

And then they'd look in the in the luckily if they caught it early, it would go straight to Andre.

But sometimes I I would get through the whole tour the whole sales pitch and then I would put their name into the system and be like so you spoke with Andre previously and they were like yeah oh that's right I did and I'm like let's get you signed up and then Andre would stand outside my office with a big smile on his

because that was his sale now but anyway if you'd never spoken to anybody and you walked in I gotta I gotta say I spoke to Andrew Let me just walk but see if you say it early I go let me just bring you over to Andrew and then he would huff and puff

he hated

It was Andre the Giant.

Thank you.

Tiny little Kaylee.

You're going to love that you got this tower.

But Andre sucked at like the tour and stuff.

He didn't like doing any of the schmoozing, which was the only part I was good at.

Andre was a strategist, though.

Yeah, Andre was a, he wanted you to have to do all the work.

He wanted to pee on every possible tree.

That's right.

He got him, too.

He was a urologist of a salesman.

And they didn't like him.

The company didn't like him.

Well, they did.

They liked the numbers, but he wasn't held up as like a, this is our greatest salesman because he wasn't a good salesman.

So that's the skill, though.

The salesmanship skill is the thing that fascinates me most about Katie and Dolan, Equinox salesperson.

Yeah.

Because if I'm coming in cold off the street, it's December.

I'm self-conscious, but I'm obviously very lazy.

How are you possibly convincing me to drop all of the money you've described?

Okay, I mean, you want to know?

Yeah.

I would take them on a walk of the, it was three floors.

So I would show them all the different, I would ask them about their fitness goals.

I would ask them about their experience with going to the gym and if they never went before.

Would you ever prod or poke them?

Kino Escalate.

Sign you up.

No.

You mean like touch their problem area?

Yeah, I'd go like, yeah.

Yeah, we can get, we can fix that.

No.

Okay.

I put these calipers on me.

I was more like

I found a thing to relate to.

There was one woman

that was like very rich.

And I still, to this day, I look back on this interaction.

I'm like, what was that lady?

She was very rich and she

wanted a gym membership.

And then she liked me by the end of it.

And

she was like, I just am afraid I won't ever go.

And I'm afraid I'll sign up for this membership and I won't ever go.

And my main thing I always went to was: if you're spending $135 on it, you'll go.

If you spend $20 on it, you won't go.

But $135, that's an investment in yourself.

That's an investment in your health.

You're holding yourself accountable.

You will go.

I'm reaching for my wallet.

And this lady said she still wouldn't go.

And I said, Here's, how about this?

If I, if we go a week and I don't see you, I'll call you.

I'll call you.

I'll go to the gym with you.

I'll come work out next to you on my lunch break.

We'll go on the days that I can go.

I'll make sure you're here.

If we don't see you, I'll call you.

I will find you.

And she was like, okay.

And then this lady became like my friend.

She gave me her credit card.

She treated me like her assistant.

One day she took me to that

Fuerza Bruta.

Remember that

show in Union Square?

I think it was called Fuerza Bruta.

I could be making this up.

Fuerza Bruta is a band.

It's a postmodern theater show that premiered in Buenos Aires in 2005.

One night she just took me.

We went on this trip.

We went to Fuerza Bruta.

We went to her apartment.

I remember it was raining and my socks got wet.

I still have these socks that this lady gave me that night.

Could not tell you her name.

Could not tell you how I ended up, why I said yes to any of this.

But I went, so it's like a live performance that they do right in front of you.

It's kind of like a small cirque de sole.

How old was she?

Oh, I'm bad at this, but I would say maybe 50s.

In her 50s?

Maybe.

Do you think there's an off chance that on January 9th, she'll be watching Celebrity Jeopardy and she'll be like, that's my Katie.

That's Wet Sock Katie.

That's Equinox Katie.

I took her to a performance.

She wrote this big long letter on the back of a receipt about how I should be promoted within Equinox.

She was a very sweet woman, but that's why I couldn't handle it emotionally.

I found enough people up for the gym and I'm like, I got seven people who didn't show up this week.

I have to call them.

I have have to let them know I care.

You don't have the thing in you that can shut off.

That's like, oh, I sold you that, but I'm not going to do that.

I can't make a campaign promise and then not follow through.

Unlike a real world cast member, you were there to make friends.

Yes.

Yeah.

I was there for the wrong reasons,

which was to be friendly with everybody.

It just sounds like you had

a methodology.

We were given like,

I forget what they were called, but we practiced like when somebody, you have to get away from that.

It sounds scientific.

You have to hear no seven times before you can let them out of your office you can't accept no until seven

times get him

no means yes until seven it's like will farrell in uh the spy who shagged me where he goes damn seven times you know

three times damn it really let me out no let me out no

it got to the point where for people like me you would look for anything that sounded even kind of like a no and been like i count that that was one Because I didn't want to have to act.

Getting somebody to say no seven times, it's like the camera people when they called me.

You start to feel crazy where you're like, I don't want this.

Cancel this.

I had people get to the point where when they were like,

is there anything I can say to get out of this office?

And I was like, that helps.

That's sick.

That is nuts.

Closer, warmer.

Closer.

Like, well, you could call state senator Gordon Johnson.

Yeah.

So they're going to make a law pass that only in New Jersey, right?

I assume?

I believe it's a big gym jersey.

gyms.

It's a big gym state.

Is our gym tam laundry?

Jim Tam Laundry.

Yeah, they,

yeah.

If you're Jersey, Jersey gyms are on a different level.

Yeah, Jersey Mics, I believe they're called.

But they just, the amount of, I, it's, it clearly was such a problem that a politician in New Jersey was like, hey, listen, I listen, I'm trapped in three different ones, bro.

All right.

And I need a different one for my powerlifting, for my to get toned, to get strength.

So they finally got it.

They should make it.

It should be like, you should be able to call.

But why?

Why is canceling?

I mean, canceling a gym membership should not need to be like a Jason Statham movie.

Well, I'm going to tell you this right now.

He's like, you've only got five no's.

Tell me more, maybe I'll let you out of the office.

Sorry, you've got to blast your quads on Tuesday, or it ain't working.

Do you want to try the eucalyptus leaves?

You're unbelievable.

We want to talk about

death and artificial intelligence.

That's the article Dan's bringing.

So, Pablo, why don't you tell us what Dan's article is?

Yeah, Dan, thank you so much for bringing this article.

Absolutely.

I've been deep in the research.

It's called Using AI to Talk to the Dead.

And the subhead says, Some people are using artificial intelligence chat bots to create avatars of departed loved ones.

It's a a source of comfort for some, but it makes others a little squeamish.

I'm others.

I don't know how I'd feel

because I think one of the things in death is you forget, or it used to be before this, you forgot what their voice sounded like.

If you had anyone die that you loved before the year 2000, it's very rare that you have

recordings of their voices because cell phones weren't prominent, social media wasn't around.

You just either you had an answering machine with their voice on it or

home videos, but you didn't really have.

And I think when you lose people,

there's a part of you

that wants to hear their voice, but then there's a part of you that understands that's part of loss is like forgetting what their voice sounds like.

So this is a very interesting article to me because it's like, do, would I want to know?

But I would immediately,

this is going to seem like a dark comparison, but it's true.

I wouldn't like talking to someone that I've lost through AI because

it would be the feeling of like getting a prostitute where you're like, this isn't real.

This isn't the, you're doing this because I'm paying you.

Right.

You know, with AI, you're like, you're a computer program.

You aren't actually my dad.

You don't really like, you don't love me.

You don't, you aren't proud of me, pal.

There's a big hankering for me just to type in one simple thing.

I'm proud of you, son, just to to get it once, and then you're like,

let's go home.

You know, I would just need one sentence to shut it down, and I'd be like, let's shut.

I'm proud of you, son.

Go 49ers.

Bang, bang, Niner gang.

Modern,

let's go.

Cameo of your dad.

Yeah,

bang, bang, niner, gang.

But I'm intrigued by it, but I don't think I would do it.

So it's video and audio?

So, yeah, so the way it works in this company is called Storyfile.

About 5,000 people have made profiles.

That's not a lot.

Among them was the actor Ed Asner, who was interviewed eight weeks before his death in 2021.

And his son, Matt Asner, yeah, to answer the question, was stunned to see his father looking at him and appearing to answer questions.

And so he sensed like some replication because AI is now increasingly sophisticated, of course,

every personality that he recognized, or at the very least, something that fooled him enough neurologically to be at the very least feeling like, quote, this man that I really missed, my best friend, was there, end quote.

I mean, I think without getting too philosophical, I think there's,

you're doing damage in the process of accepting the death by keeping this around.

It's almost like

we talked about the pets.

Right.

And I don't want to be mean.

What?

In a little bit, this is like the Nicorette gum of death.

Where like, when you quit cigarettes, you're not really quitting.

You're not really quitting if you're using Nicorette gum.

You're like still kind of keeping it alive a little bit and not in the way of that it was.

Sure.

So we're pretty good slogan for story files.

Yeah.

The nicorette of death.

Chew on this.

If they don't use chew on this, they're leaving money on the table.

You can do it on an airplane.

Yeah.

But it just feels like it would just be too weird.

It would be like,

I don't don't know, because you have to go through the stages of grief in order to get over it.

This, I feel like, would

get in the way of all that up.

I also feel like at what point do we go, have you seen Black Mirror?

At what point do you go like, this is kind of close to the thing that was depicted in a very dystopian television program?

Yeah, we're starting to reach this point with technology where they're going like, Never be inconvenienced.

Never be upset.

Yeah.

Never.

And you're like, but that's part of life.

Right.

Never feel your feelings.

Hey, you're supposed to feel fear.

You're supposed to feel sadness.

You're supposed to feel grief.

You're supposed to feel anxiety.

You're not supposed to feel anxiety all the time.

You're not supposed to feel it all the time.

But there is something of like, well, you know,

deal with death because it happens to everybody.

And this idea of keeping people around, I really love the fact that before Robin Williams, you know, unfortunately killed himself, he signed this thing that was like,

my likeness will not be used for at least 50 years.

He's like, no commercials, nothing like that.

And his children have upheld that and been like, hey, you're not going to use my dad in an Apple commercial.

You're not going to use my dad and all this stuff where, because it's my dad and I don't want you, because this is inevitably what it's going to lead to, which is marketing and selling of shit through dead people that you have a fondness for.

Yes.

As we're kind of the theme of this podcast episode is salesmen doing whatever the f ⁇ you need to do to get the sale done, they will use it for that.

Right.

So the way this works, by the way, is that you have the person before they die

sit for these tapings.

Oh, okay.

So it's not just like they don't just scrape together stuff.

I think at some point they will be able to, or it's just not required for you to show up and like.

They've already got to the point where they're like, hey, if you give me a minute of this person, we can replicate their voice.

So it'll get out of control.

Right.

But this whole, but the instinct towards wanting to communicate with the dead in this way, it turns out that there was also a fascinating other side note in terms of like the history of people trying to

commune with spirits.

Harry Houdini

had a really close friendship, apparently, with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Holmes and so forth.

Houdini was like, this is bullshit.

Like this won't exist.

This doesn't work.

Does it make any sense?

And Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Disagreed with him so much that their friendship broke apart.

What won't work?

The idea of we're going to get to actually speak to those in the afterlife.

That we shouldn't have to be able to do that.

Houdini was on the side of that shit ain't going to work.

Yeah.

Which is crazy because he's a magic man.

Exactly.

But also, a lot of magic is knowing how to trick people into thinking something is happening when it's not.

Can we also bring up the fact that Harry Houdini had quads on him?

He did.

Did he?

Quads on Zilla, dude.

There is a picture of him jumping into the Boston harbor

with chains on.

Yeah, I mean, this guy is going to be able to do that.

We're going to put this on screen

on YouTube and the DraftKings.

kings all i'm saying is

all i'm saying is line up harry houdini as an edge rusher good luck you got three seconds to get rid of that maul harry houdini is gripping ripping and he's taking down justin hurt wild yeah the next coming out he's making this play disappear you better put a tight end on him you better put someone to hit harry off the line because look at those legs that man

yeah dude look at that he's got the fold over yeah yeah what's it called when you can see all the veins varicose vascular Vascular.

Vascular.

Yeah.

Harry Houdini was jacked.

He really was.

And also, you could tell that water was pretty cold.

Okay.

He's going to wear a cup.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, well, I don't know if he is.

Yeah, he probably wishes he had a eucalyptus towel over that part.

Looks like Harry Houdini had some stuff disappear he didn't want.

Harry Tankini.

Yeah, yeah.

But I get him being a grower, okay?

He goes, for my next trick, tutto.

Whenever he got a boner, he went, tutta.

Oh, why, Harry?

You are a magician.

Wait, so I, but you said something that was very vulnerable, and I don't want to pry, although I know you've talked about some of this on stage.

Pry away.

My fiancé's like,

please open him up.

Jesus Christ.

Help me out.

I'm on my pistachio without an opening.

I got this.

I'm like untangling a bunch of necklaces.

I'm like, look, I got something started here.

Can you pull on that?

You know a sailor's knot?

Look at this.

I don't know how to sail.

I've never heard a better analogy for someone close to me than that right there where she goes i got a little bit but it's a lot i need fresh eyes on this but the premise of like someone in your life died and your memory of them yeah is what you have more than any other archival documentary evidence yeah and so what you remember you can also sense it degrading and so because of course like as you said like your memory of the voice isn't perfect i imagine half-life wears do you remember your the sound of your dad's voice no don't remember the sound of my dad's voice don't remember the sound of my sister's voice.

And I'm okay with that.

And how old were they?

And you as well.

I was 14 when my dad died.

He was 48.

And I was 16 when my sister died and she was 28.

And

don't remember either of their voices.

There is a DVD somewhere that I have.

of my cousin's fifth birthday party and my aunt transferred it from VHS to DVD, but he doesn't talk on it.

He's just at the birthday party in like waves or whatever.

But I don't, I kind of like have a sense of his voice, but I think anybody that lost someone young, you kind of just is like, that's part of the territory.

You, you don't like, I would like to hear my dad's voice again, but not this way, not artificially.

That would be gross to me.

If he was like, hey, pal, I'd be like, it's like synthetic weed.

Yeah, he's

like a K2 emotional.

Yeah, don't be K2.

I want that real shit, dude.

This is a Delta H.

Yeah.

No, I want that real.

I want that real weed.

and that's what it is.

It just feels like

I understand.

I under, listen, I'm not knocking anyone that would, would, would, uh, this would make them feel good, this would make the sure.

People are desperately coping with the most traumatic thing that ever happened to them, I presume, in a lot of these cases.

And there's people that that go through losses that are very, very difficult, you know, very, very difficult.

And they, and they want some piece of the person they lost, and maybe this is the way they do it, or whatever.

I just personally am like,

I've, I know how hard I've had to work to get through the stages of to acceptance of death.

And I feel like this would just

that up.

I wonder if you'd feel differently about losing, if you lost someone now, if you would be interested in this kind of, if your perspective on this issue.

I knew it was you.

I would do.

I have, I have enough footage of Katie publicly.

Just Sharon tells.

Like, we've loaded in an archive of Katie talking about

all they have is our argument about sweet and sour versus barbecue.

And I'm like, well, get off of that.

I want to hear her say loving stuff, not incorrect things.

No, honey, mustard, and barbecue.

But it is, I'm like, I think now, you're right.

I think there would be certain relationships that maybe I would want that more.

But I

immediately, you know, when you brought up the article, the first thought was like, oh, I want to hear my dad's voice again.

And there, you know, knee-jerk reaction, yes, of course.

I haven't heard it.

Would love to hear him say bang, bang, niner gang.

But no, I know, like, my soul and my heart don't need that it's just like i i'll keep my memories i'll keep because you also got to work through yeah because people die and then you actually have to examine your relationship with them well look the

it's hard for me to hear you talk about people's voices without thinking about how good you are at doing other people's voices so there was this weird thing um not to get really deep into the cores yeah but there was on the back of this computer i got offered this i didn't get necessarily offered it was loosely offered but um my buddy bruce pritchard who works at the wwe and also has a wonderful podcast called Something to Wrestle.

He works with a guy named Conrad Thompson.

Conrad's awesome.

He's got a whole podcast network.

And Conrad had this idea of

Lanny Poffo, who recently passed away.

Lanny Poffo

was the brother of Macho Man Randy Savage.

And I do an accurate Macho Man Randy Savage.

You do the world-class number one ranked.

But people were like, oh, what, you know, Conrad kind of had this loose idea of like, what if we do a thing with, with this is when lanny was still alive what if we do a thing with lanny where he kind of asks match and i was like immediately like no i'm very uncomfortable if someone could do a perfect impression of my dead sister michelle i wouldn't want to do a podcast with that person i wouldn't want to be like because immediately how is there not a moment where lanny paffle goes like hey could you and i go like I miss you a lot, Lanny, you know, and he's like,

I'm just losing, because I would understand that.

Right.

Where he'd be like, hey, can you bring up this childhood memory we have?

Where he goes, I'm sorry I took your ball away.

Yeah.

Knew you wanted to play with it, but I wanted to play with it more.

You know, and he's like, that's my dead brother.

So there was this like feeling of like

the macabre.

Like, I don't want to, I don't think I'm

with this.

I want to be emotionally responsive.

It's crazy.

Yeah, right.

So it's kind of like being, hey, you kind of look like my wife.

Can you that's exactly?

Can you hold me?

Can you imagine me walking like

that?

Can you hold my wing?

Can you hold my bladder and

there was a time

back when the WWE network was around, I went up to Stanford and I was doing this like top 10 moments or whatever.

And me and another wrestler, Damian Sandow, were doing like competing macho mans or whatever.

And I was recording my part just in this like dark studio at the Yes Network because they worked with WWE.

And we're at the Yes Network, but the cameraman was from WWE.

We're doing all this stuff.

We film, we end, and then the cameraman, this older gentleman, he goes, I knew Randy.

Well,

you sound exactly like him.

And I was like, oh,

it's just like on the drive home where I was like, there had to be a point where this guy was like, listen, this guy do my dead friend perfectly.

Right.

So there, I don't know.

That's like, I don't, you're opening a Pandora's box.

Yes.

And it's just kind of like, you don't, you think you know the emotion you're going to get, but you're probably going to get a lot more emotions behind that that you don't see right now like

like what i was saying immediately i'd be like i'd love to hear my dad's voice and then the second thought was maybe not maybe we keep the dead buried yeah you know i do feel like though there is a product now that i would sign up for a different form of uh dealing with grief where it is dan soder um just playing the role of my dead dad as a show man yeah right i was always very proud of you huh Yeah.

A couple of those birthday gifts weren't the best, but you bought it with your heart.

Yeah.

When you buy all your heart, it's the best gift you can have.

I love you, son.

You're doing a good job.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll imitate your dead family members as Bacho Man Randy Savage.

For a fee.

For a hefty fee.

I have to go to a very dark place.

I have to take ayahuasca after.

That's really taxing on you.

I'm your your handler now dan will sit with you oh yeah and tell your your father's feelings for you okay he's selling the membership to this program look if you spend this much on it you're gonna use it yeah you're gonna use it if you go check

to your dead dad at 3 a.m you want your i'll call you you want your peepa to reach out to you is rodney dangerfield

i'm telling you i never respected you but now i do i love you

Well, what I found out at the end of today's show.

Oh, did we do three?

That was three things?

What were the three things?

That was three.

We did

memberships, AI.

Chin memberships AI.

And then we started with Dan's journey through journalism slash

the vaccine sucking.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yes.

He does think you're Frost Nixon.

It's going to happen.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

I just want.

I mean, you could probably look to the production booth, and everyone would agree that would be the episode.

They're probably actively trying to book it.

Yeah.

That crossed my mind, like getting him to watch it.

Here's the thing that's mutually beneficial.

Totally.

Because you're incredibly intelligent.

And the thing is, you go back with this guy.

Yeah, you're very smart.

I know I was a urologist.

Yeah.

Lots of water.

Yeah.

Gonna get kidney stones.

The worst pain of your life.

I'm telling you.

It's the worst pain of your life.

Yes, getting him across from me in an actual, like,

in an intellectual.

I mean, dude, in this studio, none of his helpers.

Mano Imano.

He would never agree to.

He would never agree to hear it.

He would have the nuts to agree to it.

And I'll say that on camera.

You don't have the nuts.

But do it, dude.

I would.

I want to Don King.

It would be unstubious.

Unbelievable.

Put in dead.

Don King Dead put in the AI.

Unbelievable, ubiquitous for two people to clash at only in America.

Only in America.

Do it.

Have it done, dude.

Super fight.

Oh, my God.

What have you learned?

I've learned that I should probably do that episode now.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's a good thing to do.

Or just have Dan call the vake as like a prank thing just as Jason's holding.

I've been playing all day.

Dude, I'm on the road this weekend.

Give me the number.

I'll star 6'7.

Do you still have his number?

I can get it.

Yeah,

I can't.

Oh, man.

I can print phone call

all day.

Um, Katie, what did you find out?

Nothing.

I didn't find out anything.

I found out that Dan can do voices.

Pretty

lovely.

I was going to say, he's doing all his bedroom moves on a podcast.

Sorry, I didn't mean to bust out the ball.

These are all the men I sleep with.

How about we go in the bathroom, bedroom, marketing, bathroom?

I want you to piss on me.

Time for tinkle time.

Let's get the top out, baby.

Time for you to make a sissy.

Time for you to sissy on my chest.

Oh, my God.

That's gross.

What did you find out?

That's gross.

Oh, what Dan might now find out, as I've been informed of this fact in my year, is that Don King is alive.

I thought so.

He still is.

I thought so.

I wasn't going to say, but I thought

you just killed that man.

It's cheaper to get AI, Don King.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Don King, he charges crazy initiation fees.

Yeah, he does.

Dude, Don King is, I mean.

You can't cancel.

I don't want to frost Nixon Don King.

No, that guy will run.

Even his older girls.

I would tinkle on myself in that case.

He would eat all of us alive.

I don't think I could sell him a gym membership.

I could try.

I don't think I could challenge.

I don't think I could.

What did you find out?

You have to say something you found out.

I miss my dad.

i want to talk to a computer dead dad just to say bang bang niner gang cut the i'm proud of you yeah don't even need that just this season how good we're feeling i would love for him to say bang bang niner gang

guys maybe someday or do my have my dad do a whole e40 song

i would do sprinkle me if we're just off the top of my head yeah yeah i'm trying to how does that go he's or i could tell me when to go where he's like ooh

or e40 is my dad where he's like oh i'll be loving you son

Dad, can you blow this whistle?

Yeah.

Can you blow the whistle?

Blow the whistle, dad.

Thank you guys so much for coming back.

Thanks for having us.

That's like you're scarred from bringing up the Equinox thing.

It just brought me to a dark place.

Yeah, I'm now thinking of what I found out today is that somewhere there's a lady who was wondering where that nice young Katie Nolan went.

Find her.

Oh, shit.

I want a reunion episode

with you and her.

I don't even remember her name.

You can remember her name.

I'll look through my docs, my documents.

Do it.

Thanks for having us, Pablo.

This was so fun.

A blast.

I can't wait for your debate episode.

Yeah.

F.

Do we even answer?

Does this count?

Did we do okay?

I think the

rewards?

Let's check.

Can the scientists behind the glass?

Guys, is that anything?

They're like, oh, we actually didn't fix that audio issue.

We're ready to go now.

Yeah, guys, we're going to come in and change your newspaper on the floor of your kennel.

Oh, and I should point out that Dan was right.

Dan Soder was right.

He identified the through line of today's podcast, and I'm usually the one who loves identifying the through line of today's podcast, but he identified it as an episode about salesmanship.

And that is correct.

And so, in honor of the people who helped me move these units, who helped me move these podcasts, my producers, Michael Antonucci, Ryan Cortez, Sam Dawig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rachel Miller-Howard, Ethan Schreier, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Chris Tumanello, and Juliet Warren.

Shout out to you.

And our studio engineering by RG Systems, our post-production by NGW Post, our theme song, as always, by John Bravo.

Steam Game, Pablo Torre finds out.

And next Tuesday, a very different episode.

So

we'll see you then.