Allow Desus Nice to Re-Introduce Himself

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

Yeah, it was, you know, what the thing is about the poop, it like you would think it's all hard, but it's like it's kind of like a souffle

or a creme brulee.

Yes, it's like a hard crust

food, yeah.

And then also, once the toilet filled, they were like, oh, we're gonna poop somewhere else.

So there was a bathtub right after this ad.

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Three, two, one.

That's a guy who just hosted the daily show.

That's a clap, professional ass clap.

Listen, I've done the clap so many times.

I've done the clap, I've given the clap.

That's right.

And that's why I brought you here today.

I have some medical records.

Yes, I mean, listen, uh, if you're trying to reach me, uh, please reach my lawyers, Christina Besdi, because I don't deal with that anymore.

Um, I want to explain how it is that um

I

persuaded you,

begged, demanded you here.

Yes.

I saw you in the street.

Literally.

Like I had just landed.

I'm just walking, you know, just getting brunch with a friend and I'm taking a photo because, you know, I'm a thought.

Your arms were literally out.

My arms are out.

And like, I just see Pablo on the corner.

And I'm like, my guy, Pablo.

And it really felt like a sex in the city moment, like the whole running into a friend in New York City.

But that's something, you know, I was out in LA for a little bit and being back in New York, like that's something I missed, that idea of just running into people all the time, because even before I was on TV, I would always run into friends no matter where I went.

The beauty of New York is that I feel magnetically orbiting the people that I love.

Yes, it also felt like there was a call sheet earlier in the morning.

We went through hair and makeup and we definitely set the seat up.

We both looked at it.

We have marks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to paint my perspective on this because my point of view, I was wearing sunglasses.

I literally did the thing where I like stared at you through my sunglasses, like dropped them down on the bridge of my nose, like did a double take.

It felt like an 80s movie.

It felt like an 80s movie.

I felt like I was maybe hallucinating you.

Yes.

And then it's just like to run into a main character.

That's like not

one of those NPCs in my life, but somebody who'll be in the main credits.

Okay, so I've been waiting to do a couple of things here.

Number one, I've been waiting to invoke the Pablo Explains dot dot dot RPG menu, which you can see on YouTube and the DraftKings Network, as always,

off of an actual reference to RPG terminology.

And yeah, non-player characters, as Dezus just referenced.

But number two, I have been waiting for my old friend Dezus Nice to continue this procession of New York City main characters through the Pablo Torre Finds Out studio.

Because Dezus,

you should know, is the former co-host of Deesus and Merrow on Showtime, which we will get into.

He also just hosted the Daily Show last month, which was a huge deal.

He also, more than anything, is someone whose previous jobs, his list of jobs before all that, before he got famous.

It's been an object of personal fascination for me ever since I've known him.

We'll get into that also.

Not least because the story of Desus is also the story of our home, New York City, the place to which he just recently returned.

And so I'm just sitting there at brunch and I'm just like, this city is amazing.

Like, I'm sorry if I sound like someone who just listened to Empire State of Mind, but I am back in love with this city.

I'm seeing rats.

I'm kissing Eric Adams.

I'm doing everything, baby.

I might go to the circle line after this.

What's L.A.

Desus like?

L.A.

Desus is...

Every time I talk to you, I have to remind you I'm from New York.

So no matter what we're talking about, you could be like, my grandmother died.

I was like, you know who else died?

Statue of Liberty in New York.

There's a statue for her.

She did more than your grandma.

It's that kind of stuff.

Like, I just interjecting everything.

And then, even worse, uh, shout out to 33 Taps in Silverlake.

It's a bar that I took over.

It was like during the playoffs for the Knicks.

And

there's one guy with a Knicks shirt and he's watching it.

And I was like, yo,

you're from New York.

He's like, yeah, me and a couple of Knicks fans, we always watch Knicks games here.

I say, say less.

I tweeted about it.

Next game was like 10 people.

Next game is like 20.

By the final game, we had 60 people in that bar, all Knicks fans.

Let's go, Knicks!

Let's go, Knicks!

You formed a sleeper cell of Knick fans from Silver Lake.

Listen, they had radicalizing people.

They had babies and Knicks jumpers.

They had dogs.

And everyone was so all the LA people was like, I hate this.

New Yorkers are like, they're coming from everywhere.

We're talking about like Hoboken and the Metro North and just doing nasty New York stuff.

It felt like you were at Master Squirrel Garden.

Like us watching the games.

You know, the Knicks didn't win the playoffs, but, you know, it was good to watch them go through the playoffs together.

Opting into the misery of being a knick fan and then exporting that is is

is sociopathic it's sociopathic but it's also very new york it is it's like in all those ways self-loathing but also like unabashed um and again you we both know this immigrant parent love yes we are furious at our child but we know how to get the best from them yes yes it's like harsh love is like you have to earn a hug and that's what we're getting with the knicks actually you know what we're waiting for them to to hug us back one day, one day, maybe on the deathbed, but you're going to get it.

Hopefully, a single tear will roll down Jim Dolan's cheek.

Man, the thing about New York, we the seasons, the seasons, the seasons, man.

Have you ever taken the

seasons?

Have you missed them?

Being out there, the weather's always perfect.

When it gets warm in New York, you earned it, but we are so grateful for warmth.

Our idea of like a good day, if this is like 60, we lose it.

60 is

60.

You're showing your thighs.

Suntanning your ass on Central Park was rocking.

And then it's like 90 every day in LA.

And that's not a big deal.

It's funny.

Like, it just got cold.

I'm wearing like a heavy sweater today.

Yes.

And I'm already looking forward to that first day.

when it gets warm again.

Well, you know what?

I'm the opposite because now that it's getting cold, it's time to start dressing.

You know,

because that's another bad thing about LA.

I became a thrift guy.

Oh my God.

I just want our podcast audience that may be watching on YouTube or the draft news network, go to those platforms to see the arm motion that Jesus had to deliver when he said thrift guy.

It was

that's me hoarding the clothes, yeah, yeah, yeah, running around factory with mad hangers and stuff.

Yes, just like hands like claws that were also scare quotes, self-conscious about what it means to thrift.

But it's it's a game changer because, like, I'm like, why am I paying?

I'm buying brand new stuff.

You got richer and you began shopping poorer.

Is it not an immigrant parent's dream?

No doubt.

There you go.

Hand-me-downs.

I'm back, baby.

I'm back.

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Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

Remy Martin Cognac, Feen Champion, African Alcohol by Volume 40 by Remy Control, USA Incorporated, New York, New York, 1738, Centaur Design.

Please drink responsibly.

I do want to talk about like the sliding doors of your life, right?

Yeah.

And I want to actually, let's just start with the fact that I think we've known each other.

It's almost, almost 10 years, which is crazy.

But like, Deez Zamero, of course, I was a guest on your show in 2016.

I have a question.

I have a question for you guys.

So

I'm sure you guys living in New York have, as I have, had both cockroaches show up in your apartment and possibly mice show up in your your apartment.

Right.

I've had both.

You guys have had both.

What is more difficult to exterminate

for you?

Like I'm talking about

physically having to show you?

Oh, the killing itself?

No, it's all a day, baby.

I'm from New York.

You both can catch it.

Eric Rideholm, who produced, shout out to Eric the Gumman, Around the Horn, PTI, all that stuff, highly questionable, was making your show with you at Vice Land.

Vice Land, wow, throwback.

Can you just explain what that office was like?

In like, this is 2015.

You're already like cracking up but like it was an abs it's unbelievable what that workplace was like i was creeping around just like in the entourage there was no like we didn't have an office i had a desk i just had a regular ass desk next to a girl who worked the social media for vice and like we'd be super loud making the show and everyone else was just like working and then we go into the conference room which had a bear and flies yep and we record the show four times a week it was chaotic it was

bare bones.

It was a lot of fun.

And it was like, we were learning to do TV.

Yeah.

And so is Vice.

But the idea of here you were in an open concept like parody of a Brooklyn office.

Like this was the archetype for what people imagine when they're like, I wonder what Vice is like.

It's kind of exactly what you imagine.

Exactly.

It was just like rolling blunts.

Yes.

And I remember like we would go into the garden and smoke weed.

Did you guys get banned?

Yes.

There was an email that came from Vice.

And it was just like, the Deezus and Miro team are smoking weed in the garden.

How to proceed?

Yes.

And you see, it got forwarded, forwarded, forwarded, forwarded.

It got to like the top person.

They were like, I'll handle it.

And basically, we got banned from smoking weed in the building.

It was like an email from Willy Wonka saying, you can't get chocolate.

No more chocolate.

Yeah.

So we just like, whatever.

And also, we went, I remember, I remember after the ban, we ended up, you, me and Miro ended up just smoking in a stairwell.

Yes.

And we didn't realize the stairwell led directly to the lobby.

And so the lobby just reeked of weed.

Everyone was like, There aren't the number one rated show on our channel.

What are we gonna do?

Absolutely.

So, shout out to the uh receptionist at Vice.

Sorry for making your life help, yeah, apologies.

Um, but for me, what I think about, um, still is just like, okay, that was the most absurd workplace I think I've ever encountered.

Yeah, but I want to know about the workplaces you had before then.

You wound up on a path that led there to showtime to what we're going to get to next, which is great.

But where you came from, for people who don't know, this is why you're a legend.

I've had so many jobs.

I've lost so many lives.

I've been a strip club manager.

I've been a programmer for the New York Public Library.

I used to do

credit card processing for porn sites.

Shout out to CC Bill.

I used to buy and sell domain names internationally.

I used to pick up dead rats from an auto mechanic shop.

I've done it all.

I used to be a late night TV host.

Like

my LinkedIn would be wild if I could remember the password.

The number of

endorsements you would have, the character list would be everything endorsed by the mafia and I know PHP.

All over the map.

But I want to talk about each of those stops a little bit because each one of those stops is its own sitcom.

Yeah.

So like your first job was what?

My first job, I was worked with my uncle and we rebuilt a crack house.

So like they, my uncle purchased the house.

It was a three-family house in the Northeast Bronx.

And it was like, it was a crack house.

Like literally crackheads have been in there smoking crack.

And so that means like the insides were, everything had to be gutted.

Like, for example, they still used the bathroom.

There was no water.

You see where I'm getting at here?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was my job to scoop everything out of the toilet and put it in the dumpster in the front.

So I was doing all this.

I was clearly, I had to be like 12, clear violations of labor laws.

On every level.

But immigrant parents don't care about that.

Not at all.

And did I get paid?

No.

But it was like cool because I got to like destroy all the walls in the basement with a sledgehammer.

So this was like a rage room for you before they were rage rooms.

Yeah, it was a rage room because I was upset because I was 12 and I had a job.

All my other friends are running around playing basketball.

I've got a hard hat.

I'm getting on the bus at 8 a.m.

Like, I imagine, as a matter of general assumption, that like the poop you were scooping out also wasn't like

it was probably

as poop goes, I imagine the people there were not exactly like having a lot of fiber in their diet.

Yeah, it was, you know, what the thing is about the poop, it like, you would think it's all hard, but it's like, it's kind of like a souffle

or a creme brulee.

Yes.

It's like a hard crust.

It's like a scoop.

It's a hard soup.

Yeah.

And then also, once the toilet filled, they were like, oh.

We're going to poop somewhere else.

So there was a bathtub.

Oh, no.

Full of poop.

Yeah, yeah.

So I had the shovel and you do the, what is it?

The VIX vapor rub over your nose.

That's

it.

And all that.

Also, we were listening to CBS FM the whole time.

So I'm doing all this to like Freddie Valley.

Billy Jones.

Like, walk like a man.

Talk.

I'm like, I'm 12.

I'm like, 12.

I'm like, go play basketball, please.

They're like, no, no, no.

They're like, go break down those two by fours over there.

And as you're doing this, what part of you

is dreaming of something else?

Or were you not even like,

because in the musical version, let's make this Jersey Boys or in this case, Bronx Boys.

So, so as this is happening, are you already like,

is this, are you pining for something greater or no?

What's your mentality as this is happening?

That's one thing about my life.

I've always just kind of gone with the flow, which has always led me to a new job.

Okay, so what's the next job?

Probably the rat thing, picking up the dead rats.

So this is, this is rats in New York.

Yeah, that was respect, respect the institution

of rats.

You have to respect rats.

They have as much rights to exist in New York City as the rest of us.

You see a rat and you don't know if he's just going to work.

Like, you see the pizza rat videos on Twitter and you're like, oh, that's cute.

And it's like, no, respect his privacy.

Absolutely.

Did you ask for his consent to record this?

No.

Yeah.

Where's that release?

Listen, shout out to all my WGA rat members.

One day longer.

One day stronger.

Literally putting putting inflatable rats outside of places that don't respect unions.

That's, you know what?

Do people do that elsewhere?

I don't think so.

Because New York, growing up, I was like, why is there a giant inflatable horrifying rat?

Because those people inside don't respect organized labor.

Also, is there one company that provides the rat?

It's a great question.

Because I could go get a rat too.

I could run him out of business.

I need a new job.

So coming for you, rat guy.

My favorite thing about rats in New York is that there are some rats in New York in the subterranean levels that have never even seen people.

Wow.

And of course, like there, there will be a day when they will.

And I don't like our chances.

Okay, that's terrifying.

That's why I'm glad when it floods, because I'm like, they probably die.

So

you rats.

But no, the other day when, remember, there was like a torrential downpour here in New York and everything flooded.

The subways flooded.

Did the rats, because they like, they always say animals kind of know when stuff is going to happen.

Did the rats escape?

Or are the rats like sleeping in the subway tunnels?

Like, oh,

they were ready, they've been ready, yeah, they've been ready for generations.

Shout out to Master Splinter, absolutely, because he raised turtles.

I mean, is there any more New York metaphor than that?

My question is:

how did they get the pizza delivered?

You gotta tip at least 50 if they're coming down to a manhole.

I know, manhole, but you know,

we have to rename manholes now, them holes, them holes, Demholes.

Demholes.

That sounds even dirtier.

That sounds like a club that, yo, things is happening at.

That sounds like a club that you worked as a bouncer at.

Yeah, or like a club that Eric Adams was at last night.

I mean, okay, before we get into Eric Adams, which I you have to cover him.

You have to.

Okay, so I feel like I also have to give you a really quick Eric Adams explainer here, especially if you're not from New York.

Because outside of regularly wearing crystals, energy stone bracelets, which Eric Adams does because he believes there's a special energy emanating from the physical bedrock of the city, the mayor also just had his cell phones seized by the FBI last week.

Remember, the mayor is also a former police captain, and this was all part of a federal investigation into campaign fundraising, potentially involving the Turkish government.

But that's not even why Jesus and I are discussing him here.

It's required by my favorite thing about Eric Adams.

I mean, many things in all of their awfulness, but it's the idea of him explaining why he's out at clubs at 2 a.m.

My nightlife is a multi-billion dollar industry.

People were afraid to go back out to restaurants.

Now they see the mayor going out saying, come back out to our city.

The city needs to see their mayor.

I love it.

And that was my reaction.

I love it.

Like, he's done such ridiculous.

Like at this point, we can't win.

So we just gotta, we just gotta ride the maverick and embrace the chaos he is bringing.

Everyone that knows me, they know one thing.

I hate rats.

You know, when we started killing them in Burrow Hall, you know, some of the same folks are criticizing us now called me a murderer because I was killing rats.

Well, you know what?

We're going to kill rats.

Like every day, he just says.

the most insane stuff

and we just got to take it like no one's like hey we need to do a wellness check on the mayor he's just like

it's November

and Move

is something that people do and they don't shave and because of that we are going to release orphans into the subways to grab the rats rats off to you and you're just like at the press conference everyone's just like

Yeah, okay, that's our mayor.

He did have a press conference where he announced, introduced a rat czar.

Yes.

We had her under wrap in case she was like in witness protection because we don't want one of you to crack the story and you know start doing background checks seeing does she get any rap summonses on her block and you know what have she ever dated an exterminator?

You know, we are just really happy today to say that we have found our rat czar

and she is focused.

They had in front of him like on camera like all of these dead rats.

How do you think I felt?

So my previous security correct so now we're back at your job so what the was this job okay it was a king bear which is like a car mechanic shop it's in the bronx on webster avenue it's the length of a full block and so the week before i came on the exterminator went and put bait uh extermination bait all over people had cars there to get repaired painted detailed there had to be like 50 cars inside there and this is already like a level in a ninja turtles video game by the way

genesis or super nintendo genesis let's go oh yeah yeah good parents oh yeah all right so

and the cars are like dusty like some of the cars haven't been touched in months so the guy puts the bait down the poison and so i come in the next week and they're like hey you got to find the dead rats and i was like what do you mean they're like no the rats ate the poison just died all over the place and i was like all right that's what maybe 10 rats

it was a lot of rats what are the tools you're given to complete this mini game i'm giving a shovel and a compound bucket what's a compound bucket it's like a

three-liter bucket.

It was one of those white buckets that people use for mopping and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to use your sense of smell to find the rats, which is not something you want to do.

Which has been tested already with the vapor rub and the mask.

Again, more vapor rub.

Key to this story, New York is in a heat wave.

Oh, my God.

So it's...

uh it's got to be i'm not even kidding it had like it had to be like maybe a hundred degrees for like the full week so that is making the smell of the rats even stronger because they're dead and they're rotten they don't just die on the floor.

They climb up in the wheel well of a car.

Jesus.

They're going places.

And so, like, I have to be sniffing the floor.

Like, I'm like, I'm close.

So, once the compound bucket is full, you don't throw out the rats.

We're saving money.

You take the rats and you dump them in the barrel of the motor oil from the oil changes.

And so, you just dump the rats and they all go down and they blubber back up.

Oh, my.

And then you get back at it.

And I was like, How many buckets?

I was feeling like five buckets a day.

I was like, How many rats are in this place?

I assume from there, you're like, I need to work at the public library.

No, no, I went to college.

Oh, okay.

Then I started working in the library.

Chats with my mother, because my mother worked in the library.

So it kind of was like nepotism, but no one cares about nepotism in the library.

Like, I got her stapler.

I've been living in New York my entire life, a true New York elitist.

And I'm like, I don't know what your libraries are like elsewhere, but in New York, Jesus.

How do you describe the scene that is the New York Public Library?

First of all, shout out to the New York Public Library.

The library is very near and dear to my heart because the library is the only place in New York you can go to, spend time, and you don't have to spend money, which means anyone can go there.

So, it's actually incredible as a civic institution.

Yes, it's like the hub of a neighborhood.

And people are just like, oh, library, you just go there to get books.

No, people go there to print out boarding passes.

You can borrow pots and pants from the library.

It's literally a babysitter for children because people can't afford babysitters.

Like for immigrants,

when you work there, the initials are N-Y-P-L.

So other workers call it nipple

but the library it's like and some people are there to go look at nipples to be clear and it's also a place where people because of the constitution are allowed to watch porn on the library and they know their rights absolutely you know how nasty you have to be to watch porn at the library because the thing is my favorite character TV in all of New York is that guy because it's so

it's a lot man this is the thing they're watching it and they're not mastering they're literally doing this they're like this.

Just watching it.

The library of Alexandria, that is the spank bank in his brain.

He's full of stuff that he is just

the pupils, man.

I remember we worked on a, the library was trying to like ban, not ban porn, but restrict porn.

And so they did a, it was like a filtering software for URLs.

You got to try and stop this.

There are kids over there.

No,

babysat by the city.

Because you had like the perverse watching it, but then you got the kids super horny.

And like, kids are stupid.

They're like searching sex boobs.

I'm like, I'm like, I was like, I'll show you how to look at the real hardcore stuff.

That's right.

Yeah, throw a plus in between those nouns and that search term.

Ooh, a man of knowledge.

But

so the library banned explicit terms, but then they had to unban it because breast cancer survivors couldn't go to any resources because breasts were banned.

So the library's solution was they put anti-glare filters,

which technically, if they work, only the person in front of you could see.

You could still see what these people, these people are just watching Sarah J's cheeks get clapped out in the open.

If you're watching porn, you don't care.

You got the volume up.

Yep.

You got the smile on your face.

They sign up, they're like, Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow.

I'm like,

I'll just throw away the pen they use.

So that experience, um, in all of its complexity and contradiction, leads you where next?

After that, oh, who the, oh, that was international domain selling.

Yes, okay.

So your expertise in computers and in understanding how people use them in the real world leads you to

there is an economy here.

The whole domain game was wild.

And there used to only be six subdomains.

It was like dot com, dot net, dot org,

dot mil.

I'm blanking on two because it's been so long.

But because of that, there was scarcity and everyone wanted a dot com.

Oh, it's like a gold rush.

Yeah, exactly.

Also, you didn't want to like be a weirdo and have a dotnet.

Okay, what year are we?

This has to be like roughly.

I want to say this is like maybe 08, 07, something.

Okay, okay.

So every Sunday, a list of all the domain names that were expiring that week would drop and it would be like maybe a spreadsheet, like 60,000 names.

And I would literally just sit there in my living room with a pot of coffee and just go through, it would be like the domain names, inbound links, how much traffic is getting.

And like kind of, you'd have to use those numbers to kind of figure out the value of the domain.

Off of that, we'd have clients and I'd be given like a budget from a client and they'd be like, hey, I want this domain.

What kind of a domain name?

What's a sample URL?

Makeup for black women.

No, so that for 40K.

Respect.

Listen.

And I got a very nice condition off of that.

This is somehow

already beyond what I had imagined.

And we haven't even gotten to what, what was the strip club job?

I did everything.

started from coachek got worked my way all the way up to manager

you you you climbed the ladder climbed the ladder you know what it is i'm always prepared for the next step and also like when i do something i do it i always try to do it the best way i get the sense in all of your stories that you you don't just have the i had these complaints it's the and here's here's how i adapted right to do the best job that I could.

Every time.

Like, I remember at the strip club and like I had a general meeting with everybody, like all the workers, all the dancers that everybody.

You called the meeting?

Yes.

And I was just like, hey, listen, for all of us, this is just a job.

But for tonight, this might be a person's only time they go out all night.

I was like, every night we have to make this like Disney World.

We have to make it magic.

So when you go out there, you've got to give it your all.

You were giving f ⁇ ing motivational halftime speeches.

I was.

At this strip club.

No, all the, shout out to all my dancers.

Like, all of them were just like, they weren't even dancers.

Like those were like my daughters.

Like I, I was just like protective.

They would tell me the like life problems and stuff.

And I'd make sure they'd get on time and like protect them from clients and stuff like that.

And then also I got the job because the stick that, you know, the velvet rope is on, it was wobbly.

And one of the dancers was like, yeah, we need a new velvet rope because it looks terrible.

And the guy was like, yeah, we need a new stick.

And I was like, a stanchion.

And they were like, what?

I was like, it's called a stanchion.

And they was like, how do you know that?

I was like, I just know that.

I listen to the New York Public Library.

And they literally go, do you know Microsoft Excel?

And I was like, yeah.

And they was like, do you want to be manager?

And I was like, sure.

So

that simple.

What's the biggest misconception that people have about,

let's say, a New York strip club in specific?

In other cities, they can get butt booty naked and show everything.

Here in New York, it's not like that.

And if you come, if you've ever been to a strip club in New York, the dancers are so far away.

It's actually sad.

You have to like ball the money up and throw it at them like you're Mariano Rivera.

Andrew Sandman comes on over the loudspeaker.

So, okay, so you go from rising in the ranks as a manager at this strip club.

Yes.

To where?

Oh,

after that, I became a small business reporter.

Oh, that's right.

For Black Enterprise magazine.

You got into journalism.

Got into journalism.

Why?

Because I did the interview and I actually interviewed to be a programmer there.

And they were just like, yeah, we can't meet your salary demands.

And they literally looked at my resume.

I was like, oh, you got an English degree?

You ought to be a reporter.

And I was like, I don't really want to be a reporter, but Con Edison is on my ass.

So I'll take that.

So wait a minute.

So at what point?

So this is where I should introduce the premise of your brain being a special brain.

And I say that in the way of

not only do you have a command of the English language, you're incredibly quick, you're as fast and as spontaneously funny as anybody I've ever met.

And so when does that actually become part of your goal?

I'm going to use this thing that I can do that I've established interpersonally at all of these stops.

The lot full of abandoned

cars and dead rats, the public library, the strip club, all of it.

When do you realize, ah, this is actually my calling?

Ever since I was a child, my parents were like, no, you've always just been like super funny and witty.

And it never really struck me as something special.

And then one day, I think it was at Black Enterprise.

I remember shout out to my man, Darren Sands, Sam Man.

He was like, you're funny.

And I was like, okay.

I was like, everyone's funny.

And he's like, no, you're funny.

And also, this is the wildest story.

I always tell this to like people I date.

It's an honor.

When I was in seventh grade, my English teacher, shout out to Leslie Asshold in IS 180, no, in Lehman High School.

She's like, I need to talk to you.

She takes me into the student lounge, the teacher's lounge, and she's like, your life is going to be difficult because you're going to be famous.

Wow.

And I was like, that's a dangerous thing to tell a kid, not just because

you're putting the idea, the thought of like, hey,

celebrity is in your future, but also like

if you're not, you failed.

you you're now haunted by this prophecy like i didn't live up to it but even that like i just thought that i didn't take that like i was just like okay that i left the office i was like that was weird and i never thought about it ever again

like until like maybe one day i think it was like we had performed at the apollo so that was show yep and i was coming off that i was like holy leslie i also talked

so shout out to you leslie i hope you're still alive Absolutely.

If you're out there, please write into Pablo Torre finds out.

We have a voicemail line.

But yeah, so Darren was like, you're funny.

And like, I was doing my tweets because I hated

it.

And that's where I encountered you, of course, is on Twitter.

Twitter, of course, all of the Hellscape aspects are obvious to everybody now.

But

when it was good, it was great.

I regard you as being one of the reasons why.

Trust me.

Like, I am a baby of Twitter.

I was on there from like almost day one of Twitter.

Yes.

The way you used to use Twitter was like, it started as kind of like a journal to yourself, but then you started tweeting to a general audience.

And I remember there were days i was doing like 50 tweets a day my day at the at black enterprise was literally like i'd be there for a 9 a.m meeting then i'd go to my desk and i go to linkedin i'd go to indeed i go to monster because i was trying to get the out of there i hated that job and i just tweet about it every day because it was like imagine like you know you have talents but this is what you have to do to pay the bills and just the resentment you have and it's kind of like you don't want to like show that to your coworkers but you know in your heart of hearts yeah but you don't know what the next thing is going to be but the whole time i worked i was just like I was like, nah, something else is coming.

No, you have that look, you have that look that those masturbators at the library had, just like staring at a screen, yeah, knowing that you're up to something at what point.

I mean, I guess we know sort of where the story goes from there on some level because you and Mira hook up and you get to you become a duo that I loved as a podcast duo because they did wife swap, we've done house swap, we're gonna do penal swap,

you

switch your porn collection with another person at your job and then afterwards you talk about it.

And I want to yada, yada, yada over some of this because I want to catch people up to today.

Because today you are doing something that I relate to,

but I also wonder if you found scary, which is like life as a soloist.

It's different because people

can't, there's certain people who will never see you as a soloist.

They're always going to be like, we're like, you hear Jesus, and most people are like, waiting for the amiro.

Yes.

And it's kind of like you've disappointed them.

Yes.

And I totally get it.

I totally get it.

We made a product they really enjoyed.

We're no longer making it.

Yeah.

Hit show on Vice Land, a hit show on Showtime.

Hit podcast.

Hit podcast.

Number one, New York Times bestseller.

No, and for real, like the stuff that I would listen to and watch when I wanted to feel better about my day, because you guys were always, always funny, always enjoying yourself.

It was fun to make.

And so now, right in the aftermath,

I want to just get into like, so what do you say on the street?

Like, how do you respond?

I mean,

it depends what moment you catch because sometimes the thing is, like, I don't walk around as Jesus.

My name is Daniel.

I'm a regular person.

When I'm, if you see me in the street, I'm doing regular stuff.

Like, the other day I was in the supermarket.

They're like, holy Jesus, you still shop?

I'm like,

dog, I'm not at the point I have like an assistant.

Like, I have to still go to the superfood and get bread and cheese.

So, you know, like, I don't have scripted answers.

Like, I'm very earnest when you meet me.

Like, I'll, you know, sometimes I explain stuff to people, but, you know, it's very much like, yo, thanks for rocking with it.

Yo, I'm not going into like that.

Right, right, right, right.

And to what extent, because I, again, like going from duo, going from duo to soloist,

inside of that is the challenge of now I almost need to reintroduce myself.

Absolutely.

And like, I, after the show ended, I didn't do any press, no interviews.

Like, I just lay low.

This is like a rare appearance from Deesus, from Daniel and Deesus today.

I'm like, because it's right now, like, I'm reintroducing myself.

I just hosted a daily show.

It's time for some financial news.

The daily show is a serious show.

I know some people expect me to come on here and do my thing where I just roast people that I have beef with.

But this is a serious show.

This is a serious chair, serious desk.

And now I'm going to give you some important financial news.

So important, I have to put on my spectacles.

I report on the serious financial news.

Popular radio host DJ Envy now distancing himself from an alleged multi-million dollar fraud scheme.

And, you know, like now I'm starting to do more press.

I have some more projects about to announce.

What can we say about projects to announce?

I can't say anything because in Hollywood, if you talk about projects before all the T's and P's are crossed, they're not going to happen.

And also, NDAs.

So I'm not going to be out here and promise something that I'm not sure, but we got stuff coming.

You guys are going to enjoy it.

All I will say is that I'm incredibly excited for you.

I'm excited too because I miss being in front of the camera.

I've had a million jobs.

Imagine finding a job you love.

Exactly.

Imagine finding the thing you're really good at.

I love making TV.

I love hosting.

I love the people around me that host.

I love the whole nature of a set.

I love hair and makeup, the driver, the PAs, the interns, the writers.

You're giving halftime speeches to people again.

Yes.

And gathering them.

And

man, you're leading it.

You want to lead a team again.

Exactly.

And this is like one thing I always said, especially on any show I've worked on, the people I work with are not staff.

They're family.

And

the thing is, like, I make sure there's like no ranking order.

Like, there's no one, hey, you can't talk to me because you're a PA or an intern.

Like, oh, these are writers only, or like, I'm talent.

Don't look me in the eyes.

Like, we never have that.

Like, I always have an open door.

Anyone can come talk to me.

And even on the last show, I remember just like giving a very impassioned speech.

Like, yo, I want to thank y'all for making this show.

Like, every day we show up, we make an incredible show.

And, you know, people see my name name and the title and they think it's just me and Mirror.

It's like the amount of people, it was 80 people and 80 people made that show and every person did a part to make that incredible show.

And it's just like, just being able to reach out to them and be like, yo, thank you for doing this means the world.

And so I'm just, I can't wait for whatever's next.

So what's the biggest difference for you?

Because I've learned some about myself being a guy with my name and a title of a show in this weird psychedelic studio with you.

What is the biggest difference that you've experienced as to your vision of who you are now going going alone?

Well, that's a good question.

Well, definitely,

I want to say end of season three of my former show, I started therapy.

And I, that's really helped me not only like to keep the show on the air for season four, but just navigate personal relationships.

And like, you can actually like, even my assistant, I said to her, I was like, do you see a difference in me since I started therapy?

She was like, absolutely.

So what's the difference?

What's previously?

Apparently, I was a mess before.

Apparently, I was a mess.

I was like, I didn't know how to handle stress.

I was just like, I was just all over the place.

And like, now I'm much calmer, more focused.

I'm definitely a better person.

And also, because of like stuff that happened, now I know, like, there's, you know, the running joke, Hollywood Jesus.

Everyone's like, Hollywood Jesus, Hollywood Jesus.

And the thing is, I am Hollywood Jesus.

People in Label say that.

And they're like, like, because you know how to navigate Hollywood.

You know how to talk to execs.

You know where to go to meet people.

Like I remember being in a room with David Nevins, head of Showtime.

Head of Showtime, former head of Showtime, and other CEOs and execs.

And one of them was just like,

you feel comfortable here?

And I was like, yeah.

And he was like, I see that.

He was like, you're not, there's no trepidation.

You're not afraid of anybody.

You talk to these people as if you belong in these rooms.

And I'm like, yes, I know how to navigate Hollywood.

I know how to talk talk to execs i know how to talk to networks i know how to ride that fine line and like if you want to do content here but the network is pushing off this i know how to like get that wiggle room in there and like you know like really make these things happen so that's what hollywood jesus means to me it's kind of like the same way i did every job at the strip club yeah i want to do every job in hollywood i want to direct i want to produce i want to score movies i want i am trying to like the idea that hollywood is a pool and i'm just going to put my toe in it and be like oh that's enough That's wild.

Like, no, I want, I'm gonna jump in at like the pool in LeBane.

Okay, let's get it, baby.

That's a great reference, right?

It is.

That's such a New York reference.

It is.

I'm back.

So, okay, so coming out of therapy, what I'm getting the sense of from Dr.

Scott, my guy,

my fing guy.

Well, it will explain.

Okay, so your experience in therapy,

what do you want people to know about what the biggest benefit to you has been?

Well, I was afraid to go to therapy for so long because I was just like, what if they find, what if they like find something even I'm not ready for?

This is kind of, by the way, my feeling about like having a true like LSD psychedelic experience, which is like, I kind of like the way things are going now as much as there are problems I want to address.

Yeah.

What if there's something that happens to me that changes who I am?

Exactly.

So I was always nervous about that.

And then just going to therapy was just like,

it's therapy basically is like,

to put it in

nerd ways, let's go back to my programming days.

Please, therapy is you learn the programming language for the operating system.

That's you.

You learn how to actually understand what's going on.

Like you learn this emotion means this.

Or if I'm feeling this, do that.

Or if you're feeling stress, here's a breathing exercise to help you get through it.

And shout out to my therapist.

Like, that's my guy.

That's my guy.

Cause when I first started, I was seeing him three times a week.

Yo, but it's truly like when I, whenever I went, and again, it's true to how we started this, this episode, like me talking to you about the joy of seeing you in the street.

And just like, I've always regarded you as the guy who's having a fun time.

Yeah, well, nah, for a long period, it was not that.

It was like,

you know what it is, a sad clown.

That kind of thing.

Like you're laughing and everyone around you is laughing and inside you're just like shit.

What the f ⁇ is going on?

Because you know like stuff happens family stuff happens i've lived i mean like for i've lost a lot of friends uh one of my cousins died of actual covid she was a nurse she died uh she died while she was having a baby

so you know so dealing with that kind of stuff and shout out dr scott again like just learning how to navigate that and just you know being able to handle emotion and actually being actually happy.

And that's the important thing to actually wake up in the morning.

And I used to wake up and be like, I remember it was like a 50 Cent song.

No,

no, it was Shaheen the Rugged Child, real hip-hop.

And the song was like, damn, I woke up again.

And I was like, that's how my life used to be.

It used to be like,

we got to do this again.

And now I wake up, it's like sunshine and roses, baby.

I'm doing Peloton meditations.

I'm drinking water with like flaxseed in it.

Ah, from ionized, maybe some yoga.

Listen, we out here.

Shout out to Aditi from Peloton.

But I feel you feeling more.

I feel you allowing yourself to feel a spectrum of emotions that I also intuitively regard as being scary.

It's scary, but it's also,

you have to respect how scary it is because it's so great.

I just did the daily show.

And the amount of love that I've gotten from people online, or like the other day, I'm in the supermarket and this lady comes up to me and she's like, I'm so proud of you.

I don't know this lady from anywhere.

And it like made me emotional.

I was like, yo, there are people I don't even know rooting for me.

And the thing is like, you have haters online and it's like they, they come and like, you can't give the haters more power than the people because like the hater will have a statement on your IG comment, but then you look and you have like 14,000 likes.

No, who do you, the question of who we allow

to affect how we feel about ourselves is something that of course everybody who does anything in public and also anybody now because we're all on the internet We're all in public.

Yeah.

Everyone has a taste of this, no matter what you do.

That is the thing that we all navigate.

And

you having a context for,

yeah, allowing yourself to be kinder to yourself.

Absolutely.

You have to do that.

And it's like, even just like little moments, like I'm in LA, I'm on my balcony with my dog and my cat.

And I'm looking at my cat and I was like, holy shit, I found you in the Bronx in like 2007 under a car covered in motor oil.

Now you're in LA on a doctor

in a high-rise.

Yep.

And like my cat, this is my flex right here.

Do you know the litter robot for?

What is that?

It's an automated box for your cat.

Me litter robot, the revolutionary pet care appliance that eliminates the chore of scooping.

What a full circle device for you specifically to own.

I am being told in my ear by my unseen production army.

Shout out to all of them, some of whom have been your former members of your production army.

Yes.

$700 for those who are interested in purchasing this device.

Yeah.

He has one in New York and one in LA.

Shout to Charlie, my God.

Okay.

Your father loves you.

No, that's a big flex.

That is a big flex.

And there's an app for it.

And, like, God.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's some real cash.

What is on his app?

What is it?

What can you do remotely?

From the app, you can see how much waste is in it.

You can do a remote cycle.

When I say a full circle moment, I just want to remind you what you were doing as your very first job and what you're doing now.

You know what the funniest moment?

Literally, I was in Irwan in LA look at the app and I was like, okay, this is too much.

I was like, I'll fly too close to the sun.

I got you.

I might get my stomach tattooed.

Dude, but this is why.

This is why.

I mean, now that I think about how I felt when I saw you on the street, there was a little bit of Eric Adams shit because I was like, you know what?

I'm glad Desus is back home because the city really does need to see their mayor.

I really, people, I'm like, people need to to know, feel like the mayor of New York.

You're here, some part of you will always be here.

Like, no joke, like, people are like, yo, Jesus is back.

Like, I walk into bar, they're like, you're back.

I'm like, yeah, I am.

Like, people in LA were just like, they're like, where are you from?

I was like, New York.

They were like, I never heard an accent like that.

I was like, this is a Bronx accent.

I say the G and sandwich, you know?

Yeah, you are as comfortable talking to

any number of

like young celebrities as you are Rudy Giuliani.

That's it.

See, the thing about Giuliani, he's a scumbag, but he's a New York scumbag.

So, you know, we could listen, we'll talk about Arthur Avenue, we'll talk about hair dye, talk about sexy cousins.

Talk about,

come on, Rudy.

Come on, Rudy.

Family reunion, just a mixer.

Um, Jesus, it is Daniel, I should say.

No, I'm still going to Jesus.

Okay, good.

Also, if you see me in the street, don't call me Daniel.

I don't know you.

That makes me think like it makes me feel like I'm back in court and I don't need that.

Actually, the other day, I was by the Central Booking in Manhattan, and I was walking by, and I was like, holy shit, I've been in so many different parts of my life.

There was a time where I was a juror there, there was a time I was on trial there and I'm just walking by like happy.

When you walk by Central Booker or court and you don't have to go to court, it's the best feeling in the world.

Cause you're just like, hey, I'm chilling.

I just love that that immediately just puts us in a certain timeline in which this wasn't that long ago.

I was falsely arrested and it was like, that was like right before I got on TV.

And it was weird because like, I'm probably working on a movie about this because I thought I was arrested.

Like, I remember being in a pre-sec and they was like, do you know what you're here for?

And I was like, probably like disorderly conduct.

And they was like, you're here for attempted murder on NYPD officer.

And I was like,

all right, here we go.

And the funniest thing, the whole time I was like, title screen, smash cut.

Yes.

But the whole time, literally in my head, I was like, nope, I'm the main character.

I was like, does it end like this?

I was like, I'm not going to jail.

You see these eyebrows?

I was like, and I beat it.

Shout out to the Bronx defenders, a public defender.

We beat the charges.

And that's why I talk at their galas now.

Oh, my God.

Yes, it's another job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Felon.

So what at the end here, Jesus, we talk about at the end of Pablitori Finds Out what we found out today.

And I'll tell you what I found out about you, which is that your life is the combination of.

And I say this word knowing that it's like, it's a loaded word, but it feels like you have lived almost a destiny

of like you needed to do all of this stuff to end up doing the thing that you were clearly meant to do.

I agree with your teacher, right?

Like clearly all of this was meant to be all of the turmoil, the that made you want to cry, all of that stuff, the sad clown stuff, the scooping of

poop.

Everything that happened was required to get you to sit here with me.

And

I think that's

incredible.

No, I thank you for saying that.

I feel the same way.

And it's also, it's super touching that like me and you, our relationship, 10 years.

And it's just like, I've met so many people that have come and gone out of my life.

You make friends and they're not really friends.

And me and you

really appreciate this.

And like the idea, like if this was any other interview, I couldn't have been as like as emotional and intimate.

And I thank you for giving me a safe space to do that.

I'm super proud of you.

Look at what you're doing.

seeing you be a great father and everything.

That's everything I aspire to be.

I mean, like, I'm still running the streets, but you know,

but no, it's just beautiful to see and witness.

And, like, shout out to you, man.

And thank you for having me on here and letting me talk about this.

And no, it feels incredible.

Like, I really enjoy my life and just being able to have people like you and talk to you, people like you about it and talk to the camera.

Shout out to you, viewers.

I love you.

You know,

yeah,

that was incredible.

That was my guy.

Thank you, man.

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a Meadowlark media production.

And I'll talk to you next time.

Yo, shout out to Pumps at Bushwick, which I've never been to, but shout out to Greg.

Shout out to Greg.

Shout out to my mother.

Shout out to Eric, the god.

Shout out to the receptionist at Vice.

Shout out to Becks.

Shout out to CC Bill.

Shout out to Master Splinter.

Shout out to Charles.

Shout out to 33 Taps in Silverlake.

Shout out to I Can.

Shout out to all my dancers.

Shout out to Bookings.

Yo, Jim.

Shout out to you, man.

Shout out to all my WGA rap members.

Shout out to the New York Public Library.

Shout out to Aditi from Peloton.

Shout out to the Bronx Defenders.

Shout out to Peter, the governor.

Shout out to Midnights in Williamsburg.

Shout out to Charlie, my guy.

Shout out to my man Darren Sands, the Sammy man.

Shout out to Leslie Alshold.

Shout out to Dr.

Scott, my guy.

Shout out to you viewers.

I love you.

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