BFFs: The Best of Kara and Scott 2021

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Speaker 7 It's been an amazing year in the Cara Swisher Scott Galloway multiverse.

Speaker 8 Come with us on a trip down memory lane as we take a look back at 2021.

Speaker 10 The best of Cara and Scott.

Speaker 8 Beyond the brilliant commentary and visionary analysis, if we don't say so ourselves, just the wittiest moments from our aspirational friendship.

Speaker 5 The past 52 weeks have brought us everything from an insurrection to record inflation. And in the same exact amount of time, we've seen everything from Scott's first COVID vaccine to my fourth baby.

Speaker 5 Last week, we brought you our predictions for 2022. This week, we're bringing you the best of what makes this podcast great.
And Scott, what is that?

Speaker 2 Us. Us.
Us.

Speaker 17 Who won iHeartRadio's best business and finance podcast? Us.

Speaker 18 That's right.

Speaker 5 We'll kick it off the way we start every show with some really classy utterances from my co-host, which of course means things he should keep to himself.

Speaker 19 I like to share.

Speaker 20 I like to share.

Speaker 10 I'm Scott Galloway, and I just have one question, Kara.

Speaker 21 Yeah. What?

Speaker 22 What the actual fuck?

Speaker 14 I've been cleared by my urologist. I'm going to be the backup quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next season.

Speaker 10 And I am one split end away from cutting my own bangs, Kara.

Speaker 14 And I am the first person in the history of our economy to figure out a way to lose money on crypto.

Speaker 28 And I would like to seriously explore a relationship with Bill Gates.

Speaker 31 And I'm here to announce that I am the first musical guest on SNL that has erectile dysfunction.

Speaker 11 And I'm a competitor in the Olympic sport of sunbathing and I'm proud to announce I brought home bronze.

Speaker 23 This is Megan Markle. I'm Tim Cook.

Speaker 28 This is Pri Perarara.

Speaker 34 This is Piers Morgan.

Speaker 29 And I am so clearly your side piece.

Speaker 32 Why am I so aggressive in such a bad mood today?

Speaker 16 Is it my T therapy?

Speaker 36 I'm on T therapy.

Speaker 26 I'm on T therapy.

Speaker 5 Our marketing department tells us that the reason so many of you guys keep coming back each week is that you like our chemistry.

Speaker 40 That's right. Nitro and glycerin, Darian Dean.

Speaker 11 Wait, Darian Dean?

Speaker 8 Cher and Sonny.

Speaker 41 I am so Cher, by the way.

Speaker 2 You are

Speaker 36 down to my hips.

Speaker 37 What do you think the key element of our relationship is?

Speaker 43 What do you think it is?

Speaker 44 I think we come from different backgrounds, but we share

Speaker 44 a pursuit of the truth and a reverence.

Speaker 44 Yeah, and we like each other. I think that comes through.

Speaker 5 And as it says in the script, respect. We do have a lot of respect for each other, but what you probably get to hear more of is Scott's incessant jealousy and envy of my fantastic life.

Speaker 8 It bothers me.

Speaker 10 I am jealous that you get to say I'm jealous, and I don't get to say that about you.

Speaker 5 Because I'm not jealous in any way. But you are not just jealous of me.
You're jealous of a lot of people. Let's roll the clips.

Speaker 31 You'd think at my age, I'd be more secure.

Speaker 21 You'd think.

Speaker 18 And you'd be wrong.

Speaker 36 You'd be wrong.

Speaker 47 What if you do if I told you I have Anderson Cooper to come on Sway?

Speaker 31 I'd feel jealous because I'm the one that's supposed to reach out to him.

Speaker 18 I'm building up to that.

Speaker 15 I'm building up to it.

Speaker 51 I'm sorry to tell you.

Speaker 11 He's coming on fucking Sway?

Speaker 23 Don't even say that.

Speaker 32 Don't even go there. Seriously, don't even go there.

Speaker 40 If he shows up.

Speaker 52 Actually, I have Don Lemon coming on with this book.

Speaker 53 Don Lemon.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I'm not going to ask.

Speaker 54 I wasn't. I'm not going to.

Speaker 49 Anderson is a bridge too far, though. I certainly would love to have him on Sway, but I won't do it.

Speaker 56 I got you, didn't I?

Speaker 43 I got you.

Speaker 56 You thought for a minute because you thought I could get him, right?

Speaker 42 Correct? Did I get you?

Speaker 12 You know know better than to go there.

Speaker 56 I know, but it was a good April Fools, wasn't it?

Speaker 22 I didn't, that's right. It's April Fool's.

Speaker 55 You did. You could see your face.
Nobody can see his face, but he was like, has she betrayed me?

Speaker 58 The final betrayal.

Speaker 56 Who else would be a betrayal?

Speaker 48 Anderson Cooper?

Speaker 17 I don't know.

Speaker 12 We've had Farid Zakari.

Speaker 23 If you got Angela Merkel, she's another hero of mine.

Speaker 13 That would be very upsetting.

Speaker 26 Well, that might happen.

Speaker 59 That I'm not going to give you Angela, but I will give you Ando.

Speaker 37 Ando is yours and forever.

Speaker 60 I'm yours.

Speaker 18 You know what?

Speaker 11 I'm emailing him today or texting him because we have each other's phone number.

Speaker 41 And we use emojis.

Speaker 16 That works.

Speaker 26 That was good. That's so exciting.

Speaker 17 That was good.

Speaker 37 But the fact of the matter is, you should listen to the interview.

Speaker 60 Sasha Baron Cohen was doing.

Speaker 21 Yes, we all should.

Speaker 33 We all should.

Speaker 16 We should all listen to your podcast.

Speaker 4 You like it.

Speaker 17 Let me get right on.

Speaker 62 Then listen to the dog lady.

Speaker 63 Let me get right on.

Speaker 37 I'm getting a great day and listen to the dog lady.

Speaker 21 No.

Speaker 31 I'm going to listen with my favorite lesbian, Senator Lindsey Graham, and I are going to listen to Sasha Baron Cohen on Sway.

Speaker 4 That's my day.

Speaker 65 He was in with Trump all weekend calling up and threatening senators.

Speaker 60 That was nice.

Speaker 15 That's my day.

Speaker 17 Let me get this.

Speaker 19 Seriously, on your other podcast, you bring in on Bill Gates.

Speaker 21 What do we get?

Speaker 30 We get some like Joanna Baga Donuts, Assistant Commissioner that you kissed in college on our podcast.

Speaker 19 You've got to start investing in this relationship.

Speaker 11 By the way, I just want to point out that Representative Khanna goes on to Twitter and says, it was great being on Pivot with the inimitable, incredibly thoughtful Kira Swisher.

Speaker 18 And then you know, he said, and Scott, too.

Speaker 19 And Scott too.

Speaker 18 That's our new thing.

Speaker 57 Thanks for the

Speaker 46 thanks for the big wet kiss there, Representative.

Speaker 19 It was literally like his press agent said, oh, wait.

Speaker 42 You have to mention that guy, too.

Speaker 32 You have to mention that guy.

Speaker 18 Actually,

Speaker 57 you

Speaker 32 seriously, you play me like a fucking fiddle.

Speaker 36 You're like, you're like, okay,

Speaker 69 I've smacked him a little too hard.

Speaker 15 You're like, oh, I heard you going, I'm Del Mar.

Speaker 18 You literally played.

Speaker 57 I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 51 You'll enjoy it. I think you'll be great.

Speaker 56 And more people should have a little Scott.

Speaker 4 Two things. Two things.

Speaker 12 The first is I feel very manipulated.

Speaker 31 And second, I like it.

Speaker 18 I like it.

Speaker 36 Thank you. I like it.

Speaker 18 The whole world will get to see

Speaker 56 the world of HBO Max, at least, will get to see the Scott Galloway. We all know.
We all know.

Speaker 8 So let's be clear. At no point does Kara ever, ever let me or anybody else forget that she is, I don't know, better than me?

Speaker 70 Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I am better than you.

Speaker 52 Is that bothering me that I'm freakishly remarkable and you're unremarkable?

Speaker 72 That's my question.

Speaker 73 I'm used to it.

Speaker 24 I think the thing, I trust the thing that makes you happiest in the world is your little girl.

Speaker 15 A close second is when you trigger me, be honest.

Speaker 8 She's always reminding us that she hangs out with the most important people.

Speaker 58 You never listen to my other things because you

Speaker 74 ignore me completely.

Speaker 75 But I interviewed Spike Lee today and we had a long discussion about basketball.

Speaker 37 He did not talk about Scott Galloway, though.

Speaker 8 Kara, of course, knows all the famous billionaires.

Speaker 31 Everybody wants to be Mark Cuban.

Speaker 13 Everyone wants to be like the

Speaker 7 podcast with him today, which he made lately.

Speaker 42 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 37 And will you be watching?

Speaker 59 Elon Musk will be on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

Speaker 12 You know him.

Speaker 17 I don't. You like him.

Speaker 77 You know, one time he showed up at a meeting with a stuffed monkey and he made me laugh.

Speaker 75 It just made me in front of a very important person.

Speaker 48 It was was a Herembe or whatever.

Speaker 37 And he kept playing with the monkey during this interview with this very important person.

Speaker 26 And I just thought it was hysterical.

Speaker 42 He's a, he's an, he's a quirky man, I would say.

Speaker 79 I just think he might be funny.

Speaker 13 I think it's incredible that Warren Buffett has been as,

Speaker 13 you know, he's just very incredible.

Speaker 80 He's not only an impressive man, what's incredible is how impressive he is in 90.

Speaker 78 I had dinner with him a couple of years ago, two years ago, and he was very lively.

Speaker 75 Although you could just see, you know, I was like, I wonder how, you know, he was elderly.

Speaker 76 I just don't know, you know, I mean, he was definitely slower.

Speaker 75 But then he ate, you know, a plate of meat as big as my

Speaker 76 head, and then ate the stuff on my plate.

Speaker 13 She also knows politicians.

Speaker 81 Stacey Abrams is the most significant thing to happen regarding the regulation of big tech in the last year.

Speaker 60 I guess I shouldn't tell you, I'll ask her when I talk to her.

Speaker 24 Literally, I expose my feelings to you, and you know what you do?

Speaker 81 You jab.

Speaker 18 You jab.

Speaker 69 You know who you would love?

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 25 The new mayor of Miami.

Speaker 37 I have talked to him. He texts me all the time.

Speaker 82 I did a little column. I quoted him in.

Speaker 42 He's good.

Speaker 48 Francisco Suarez, right?

Speaker 18 Suarez, Mayor Suarez.

Speaker 24 And don't forget, Chuck Todd.

Speaker 49 I'm going to go for drinks at Chuck Todd and send you a picture from there.

Speaker 78 But go ahead, keep going.

Speaker 29 She's even hung out with Patrick Stewart, also known as Jean-Luc Picard.

Speaker 31 My Halloween costume is Jean-Luc has not called Starship Commander Jean-Luc Picard, which, by the way, is my Halloween outfit every year.

Speaker 42 Huge crowdfunder.

Speaker 76 Huge crowd user. You know, I met him once at a dinner at the Shakespeare.

Speaker 28 He's lovely, right?

Speaker 4 Tell me, he's lovely.

Speaker 76 Oh my God, he was so, like, so dreamy. He was dreamy and smart and erudite, the whole thing.

Speaker 79 He was exactly what you do.

Speaker 49 He was not like, I would have been sad if he was like, hey, how you doing?

Speaker 48 He was totally classy.

Speaker 8 And if I get too cocky, Kara is quick to remind us and me that she was way more popular than I was in high school. Pretty low bar.

Speaker 83 Six foot two, 140 pounds with bad acne.

Speaker 8 Virgin until you're 19.

Speaker 4 There you go.

Speaker 13 Do you see my prom photo?

Speaker 70 Yeah, I did. You looked handsome.

Speaker 49 I have one that I'm going to send you.

Speaker 84 I'm going to put it up of me in college.

Speaker 33 I looked it down.

Speaker 22 So the true story, true story.

Speaker 13 I didn't think I had a prom date. And I, you know, 12th grade, six foot one, 130 pounds.

Speaker 13 And this is a nice story.

Speaker 14 And it's about me.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 13 Prettiest girl in the school.

Speaker 31 Yeah. Prettiest girl in the school.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Asked me to prom.
Wow, why? And I was not the most popular. I was not the most handsome, but I made her laugh.

Speaker 4 That was such,

Speaker 13 and I posted that picture. Yeah.

Speaker 13 And me and the other guy who's in the photo is still my closest friend, Anna Markman.

Speaker 54 I feel like I'm in a John Hughes movie right now, but go ahead.

Speaker 13 I found that photo, and

Speaker 13 it brought back so many memories anyways. I posted online, and

Speaker 13 everyone's been really kind and nice.

Speaker 5 Yeah, especially about the hair.

Speaker 84 I was like, whoa, that's a lot of hair you've got going on.

Speaker 81 That's what everyone talked about, the hair.

Speaker 77 Well, there's a lot of hair going on.

Speaker 70 I went to all four proms.

Speaker 21 All four?

Speaker 31 There's four proms. Oh, you went went to a private school.

Speaker 28 We could only afford one.

Speaker 49 No, there was four private.

Speaker 84 I went in 9th grade, 10th grade, 11th grade, and 12th grade.

Speaker 76 I had a boyfriend who was in 11th grade when I was a freshman.

Speaker 84 I had a boyfriend who was in class, 11th grade, a different one when I was in 10th grade, same boyfriend in 11th grade. And then I went with a friend of mine in 12th grade.

Speaker 63 I went to all the proms.

Speaker 80 Yeah,

Speaker 13 that's nice.

Speaker 71 Yeah, I had a lot of boyfriends. Karis Fisher had a lot of boyfriends.

Speaker 13 You little, you saucy. I am.

Speaker 26 Saucy little Minks.

Speaker 37 Saucy little minks. I was an easy girlfriend to have.

Speaker 70 I was.

Speaker 84 I was like, I never really was like clingy, and I would have sex with them.

Speaker 70 That's pretty much why I was a great girlfriend.

Speaker 37 Anyway,

Speaker 24 that's a cocktail every young man likes to hear.

Speaker 57 Lesbians make great girlfriends to straight men.

Speaker 84 I was like, they're like, oh, or you're not very clingy.

Speaker 70 I'm like, no, I'd like you to leave.

Speaker 37 All right, Scott, let's go unexpected.

Speaker 23 Can I get you an Uber?

Speaker 40 Can I get you an Uber?

Speaker 30 Are you done? Can I get you an Uber?

Speaker 36 Out of here.

Speaker 8 Even worse, Kara is constantly winning awards and getting on fancy lists, and this year was no exception.

Speaker 13 Jesus Christ, I'm going to be sick.

Speaker 47 I'm Kara Swisher,

Speaker 12 and I'm Scott Galloway.

Speaker 4 So, just one question. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Queer 50 question mark.

Speaker 47 I get it every year.

Speaker 18 It's not like queer 50?

Speaker 56 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 82 There are 50 important queer people, and I'm one of them.

Speaker 77 There's 51 of them, actually.

Speaker 48 We always throw one at them.

Speaker 18 50.

Speaker 10 And I want to know the methodology.

Speaker 18 You're number eight.

Speaker 35 Why are you not number seven or number nine?

Speaker 58 I have no idea.

Speaker 56 I get on these lists.

Speaker 48 I like literally never.

Speaker 59 When I was married to my ex-wife, who was the CTO of America, we were always on the couples list, right?

Speaker 48 Like there's only, they have to always have a bunch of paralesbians in there.

Speaker 6 So these are just these lists.

Speaker 82 I think they're fine, whatever.

Speaker 37 You wanted to be part of the queer 50, didn't you?

Speaker 73 Well, I'm part of the hot 50.

Speaker 25 I was 51.

Speaker 61 But I heard I was very close to making the hot, straight, erectile dysfunction 50.

Speaker 5 It's not like Scott is shy about his own successes.

Speaker 27 You want to talk about a strong move?

Speaker 15 The other day, I explained crypto to a rival dad in front of his family.

Speaker 69 That's a strong move.

Speaker 16 That's a strong move.

Speaker 55 What is this, crypto, Scott?

Speaker 32 And then I pulled out my, and then I pulled out my leaf blower.

Speaker 18 Boom.

Speaker 5 2021 was actually a very big year for the dog. He caught Oprah's eye.

Speaker 44 Every once in a while, the dog gets a boom.

Speaker 56 But let me just say, someone famous was mentioning you.

Speaker 37 Everybody made a big deal of it because I'm such a name dropper and actually know all the names.

Speaker 64 But

Speaker 85 you were named by two people.

Speaker 6 Explain for the people what happened with your book.

Speaker 15 I am generally very in touch with anyone who says anything nice about me, but I don't know.

Speaker 31 Brian Williams?

Speaker 33 I really don't know who you're talking about.

Speaker 7 No, it was Oprah was talking about. Oprah.

Speaker 7 They picked up your book.

Speaker 33 Oh, and James Cordon. That's right.

Speaker 42 James Cordon. He brought my book.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he talked about my book.

Speaker 18 What is that?

Speaker 7 Why? What happened?

Speaker 17 What is with that? I don't know.

Speaker 86 Well, occasionally, I know this is a shocker, but occasionally I do something outside of this podcast that gets some positive.

Speaker 18 How did he get the book?

Speaker 43 I know that.

Speaker 19 My guess is he did. He bought it, Kira.

Speaker 28 Some people actually buy books.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 31 And believe it or not, occasionally someone actually reads my book.

Speaker 18 Not that you've ever read one of my books.

Speaker 49 As usual, you're triggered because you're a triggered kind of person.

Speaker 47 The fact of the matter is, I'm thrilled that he bought your book and I just wanted to know how he got it.

Speaker 7 And that was great.

Speaker 18 That was just Amazon. I'm going to go out and go.

Speaker 58 I know, but I wouldn't go James Cordon and post-Corona. I just wouldn't.
That would not be a comedy.

Speaker 9 He is a very thoughtful guy.

Speaker 71 I've interviewed him. He's great.
He's very funny.

Speaker 18 He's very funny.

Speaker 7 But I was sort of surprised it was him, but it was interesting.

Speaker 56 And then they talked about it.

Speaker 71 Oprah and him. It was a big deal.

Speaker 42 It was a big big deal.

Speaker 33 Oprah. One of the most forgetting Oprah.

Speaker 31 One of the most inspiring women of the last forgetting Oprah.

Speaker 17 Century. I actually said that.

Speaker 31 One of the most inspiring people.

Speaker 83 I can't believe you just said that.

Speaker 36 I can't believe you just said that.

Speaker 24 No, no, but

Speaker 18 we're going to get the head of the Texas Health Commission to come talk about animal rights.

Speaker 6 You know what? Despite all its issues, New York Times, you say it and they show up.

Speaker 48 I'm sorry. It's just the way it works.

Speaker 52 No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 7 I did fine on Rico.

Speaker 19 It's so true.

Speaker 2 If I call Bill Gates' office, like they call security.

Speaker 21 They literally, they're like,

Speaker 57 and they should.

Speaker 5 Scott even went a little Hollywood this year. He was in Hulu's WeWork documentary.

Speaker 30 WeWork was the most overvalued company in the world.

Speaker 88 For God's sakes, they're running desks.

Speaker 5 And he even took a quick spin on the late-night talk show circuit.

Speaker 8 After working my ass off for 30 years, I'm an overnight success.

Speaker 13 Thanks, Bill Maher.

Speaker 37 I predict you're going to be on Bill Maher's show.

Speaker 17 Go on.

Speaker 18 I hear you. Go on.

Speaker 26 I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 18 What did you say?

Speaker 37 You've been invited finally to the Bill Maher Show. Tell me about how you feel about that.
What are you going to talk about?

Speaker 23 I think I'm, at the end of the day, I think I'm like Lyle Lovett, and that is they bring me on a talk show hoping that Julia Roberts will come on.

Speaker 2 I think that they're using me to get to you, but I don't care.

Speaker 18 I'm not a Max Show.

Speaker 56 I know.

Speaker 18 I think I'm watching back on.

Speaker 31 Anyways, anytime I meet someone who's nice to me, I'm like, does this person want me on their podcast or are they just trying to get to Kara?

Speaker 14 Anyway,

Speaker 26 you're my gator.

Speaker 56 You're the gating mechanism for Kara, Swisher.

Speaker 18 Anyway, tell me what you're going to talk about.

Speaker 37 What do you think your themes are?

Speaker 16 I don't know.

Speaker 23 My guess is we're going to talk about Megan and Harry, and there's a one-in-three chance I'll be canceled. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 21 And we're going to talk about

Speaker 49 Pierce Morgan before you nailed off about him, but go ahead.

Speaker 33 Go ahead.

Speaker 23 The honest truth is I don't know what we're going to talk about.

Speaker 15 I imagine we'll talk about my book, Post-Corona, from Crisis to Opportunity.

Speaker 4 It's tomorrow.

Speaker 23 I got to be honest, it's a dream of mine. I love Bill Maher.

Speaker 35 I think he's courageous.

Speaker 18 He's truly spark.

Speaker 76 You're of the same mind in many ways, I have to say.

Speaker 2 You have all the grieved, angry old guys.

Speaker 43 No, but I think you'll both feel like you'll bond.

Speaker 37 I think you'll bond.

Speaker 77 I think you'll bond rather well.

Speaker 56 That was an amazing thing.

Speaker 7 I have to say, I have to hand it to you.

Speaker 56 They had never gotten a dose of Scott Galloway, and you decided to go full on Scott Galloway. It was amazing.
You went nuts. So rather than me going on about you, let's listen to you.

Speaker 89 You have capitalism on the way up, and you have socialism on the way down. I'm not done yet.
And then you have socialism on the way down. That's not capitalism or socialism.
It is cronyism.

Speaker 89 It is the worst of all worlds. Capitalism, capitalism is full-body contact violence at a corporate level so we can create prosperity and progress that rests on a bed of empathy.

Speaker 89 We have flipped the script here. We need to be more loving and empathetic with people and more harsh on companies.
Capitalism, we are protecting. We should be protecting people, not companies.

Speaker 89 Fucking delta burn baby burn

Speaker 56 yelled a little bit you were emotional the whole thing it was it was a perfect it was i thought i was gonna throw up great job

Speaker 49 your sweater was nice you were dressed well you looked good you looked smart i have to say go on the whole thing go on thank you very i was very impressed because it could have been a friggin disaster i was expecting a possible disaster i'll be honest oh there was a non-zero probability this was all going to come to an end on hbo i was literally like oh shoot you were nervous You were more nervous than me.

Speaker 52 A little bit. I'll be honest.

Speaker 37 I'm like, what did he say?

Speaker 55 Was he going to cancel us?

Speaker 18 He's going to cancel us a little bit.

Speaker 26 And I'm like attached to him like at the hip.

Speaker 18 Oh, God, I'm going down like the titanic.

Speaker 58 Except, you know, it'll be like, you know, when Leonard DiCaprio was hanging on

Speaker 74 that thing

Speaker 74 on the door that Kate Winslet was on?

Speaker 72 Remember that scene at the end? Of course that.

Speaker 18 On the door.

Speaker 72 But that Titanic at the end, when they're at the end.

Speaker 18 Yeah,

Speaker 24 when he's about to drown and she just lets him go. She lets him go.
Oh, no, you're going down with me, by the way.

Speaker 18 Oh, no. I'm staying on the door.
It's like,

Speaker 18 how do I stay on the door?

Speaker 50 So just two words, Kara.

Speaker 18 Two words.

Speaker 18 Go on.

Speaker 50 First word, suicide, second word, pact.

Speaker 18 We are in this together.

Speaker 26 Oh, no.

Speaker 24 You ride with the dog, you die with the dog.

Speaker 57 No, I am Caitlin's on the door.

Speaker 5 After that triumph on Bill Maher, the dog even dabbled in a little acting.

Speaker 19 Okay, so I did start.

Speaker 18 Thank you for asking. It's Father's Day.

Speaker 49 I'm giving you all this. No, I do.

Speaker 20 I appreciate it.

Speaker 23 A lot of softball's coming coming my way i did on friday i recorded i had i kicked off my career as a voiceover actor i'm the voice of kingston who is the tooth the grand tooth man the grand tooth fairy instructor yeah in a tooth fairy tale and do you want to hear the opening line yeah sure go ahead go for it okay hold on magic has always existed oh my god a star is really bad acting a star is born did you try that again that was how you read it a star is born oh my god And speaking of stardom, he went and got a third or fourth or fifth job at CNN Pleu.

Speaker 83 Yeah, we'll see if Daddy makes it to the first episode.

Speaker 33 We'll see. One word.
One word.

Speaker 17 Midriff.

Speaker 42 Doubtful.

Speaker 33 Midriff.

Speaker 17 Oh, God.

Speaker 46 Break the news, Cara.

Speaker 36 Break it.

Speaker 91 The dog is getting a show on CNN Pleu.

Speaker 21 Pleu? Sorry.

Speaker 21 Pleu.

Speaker 23 It's Canal.

Speaker 92 Yeah, Canal. It's French.

Speaker 66 It's going to be in France only.

Speaker 91 CNN France. The new show will focus on news and conversations where business and technology collide.

Speaker 13 I think they've told me to kind of lean into my irreverence. I've said, have you seen my content?

Speaker 22 You know, are you worried at all?

Speaker 92 Are they ready for you?

Speaker 13 They claim they're into the, you know, the crazy.

Speaker 80 So

Speaker 33 I really like that.

Speaker 92 And they've hit the jackpot.

Speaker 13 Anyway, CNN Plus got a show. Thank you.

Speaker 13 I think this show and you discovering me and making me an overnight success success after working my ass off for 30 years is a big part of the reason I got this show. So thank you.

Speaker 23 And let's be honest.

Speaker 91 I'm so glad I turned down their offer. Oh, no, I didn't.
I didn't get an offer.

Speaker 13 Let's be honest, I've outgrown you. I'm Hillary Swank leaving that other guy who didn't get more movies.

Speaker 25 Whatever it is.

Speaker 36 I've outgrown you.

Speaker 33 I'm sad. I've outgrown you.
No, you haven't.

Speaker 91 You'll be back. Don't you worry.
I've outgrown you.

Speaker 31 I'm McClain Stevenson going on to a big world.

Speaker 92 This is like a rubber band relationship.

Speaker 36 I'm Shelly Long.

Speaker 31 I'm too big for cheers. I should be doing

Speaker 92 a little bit.

Speaker 91 Yeah, well,

Speaker 92 Shelly Long.

Speaker 36 I'm Shelly Long.

Speaker 36 I'm due for movies.

Speaker 23 I'm due for much bigger things.

Speaker 31 Money Pit and Troop Beverly Hill.

Speaker 36 Definitely.

Speaker 91 Let me just give you a piece of advice.

Speaker 36 It's a very good quote that I love.

Speaker 91 I want you to like, you should be you. You absolutely should be you.
But there's a quote by Dorothy Salisbury Davis. I just looked it up.
Don't sell your soul to buy peanuts for the monkeys.

Speaker 13 Don't sell your soul to buy peanuts for the monkeys.

Speaker 4 Hmm.

Speaker 36 You don't have to do antics.

Speaker 91 You're very smart. You have a lot of insight.
I deserve insight.

Speaker 36 You don't think I do.

Speaker 91 I think you, I like your antics, but I'm saying two things that you want to do, right? Two things that you want to do. Not things that are crowd-pleasing.
Right.

Speaker 91 That's what the peanuts are to the monkeys. Two things that you want to do.

Speaker 19 Don't sell the sell your soul for the peanuts for the monkey man.

Speaker 91 So you be you in any way you can.

Speaker 92 Just what you're doing should be insightful and bring bring people back.

Speaker 19 Daddy with a capital D.

Speaker 46 D to the A double D wise.

Speaker 5 After our conversation that day, people thought Scott was leaving me as if.

Speaker 17 Never.

Speaker 36 Never.

Speaker 43 Can you make it clear?

Speaker 58 You're not leaving.

Speaker 31 Oh, yeah. That's right.
No, you're stuck with me.

Speaker 36 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 40 I'm writing this shit out. I am writing this shit out.
I'm Daniel Craig.

Speaker 32 I'm not leaving this franchise.

Speaker 63 No, not at all. There's no way.

Speaker 40 Wheel me out.

Speaker 59 I know, exactly.

Speaker 67 I'm Adam West from Batman.

Speaker 24 I don't want to leave.

Speaker 8 They didn't even call me for the batman movie said adam west they didn't even call me death before divorce time for a quick break when we come back the dog and the jungle cat go on vacation together jesus christ that's a scary thought

Speaker 93 trip planner by expedia you were made to outdo your holiday

Speaker 93 your hammocking

Speaker 65 and your pooling

Speaker 93 We were made to help organize the competition. Expedia, made to travel.

Speaker 45 Support for Pivot comes from LinkedIn. From talking about sports, discussing the latest movies, everyone is looking for a real connection to the people around them.

Speaker 45 But it's not just person to person, it's the same connection that's needed in business. And it can be the hardest part about B2B marketing, finding the right people, making the right connections.

Speaker 45 But instead of spending hours and hours scavenging social media feeds, you can just tap LinkedIn ads to reach the right professionals.

Speaker 45 According to LinkedIn, they have grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, making it stand apart from other ad buys.

Speaker 45 You can target your buyers by job title industry company role seniority skills and company revenue giving you all the professionals you need to reach in one place so you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals only on linkedin ads linkedin will even give you a hundred dollar credit on your next campaign so you can try it for yourself just go to linkedin.com slash pivot pod that's linkedin.com slash pivot pod terms and conditions apply only on linkedin ads

Speaker 5 welcome back to our very special episode of pivot as we look back at a year of friendship insults and triggers mostly the latter mostly the latter as much as scott and i bicker we do like to spend time together in april we took our relationship to the next level when i decided to take my entire family to visit him in miami

Speaker 77 I'm Kara Swisher, and I'm packing right now my teeny weenie bikini.

Speaker 27 I'm not going to touch that with a 10-foot ball.

Speaker 18 And I am.

Speaker 25 I am Airbnb dog.

Speaker 46 Okay, so this is what it means to be

Speaker 14 professional friends with Cara.

Speaker 8 And then we decide to make the bridge into friendship after knowing each other for 11 years.

Speaker 76 We're not really friends.

Speaker 12 Okay, so

Speaker 15 that hurts my feelings.

Speaker 28 So, okay, first it's like, hey,

Speaker 25 let's meet in Miami

Speaker 30 to go check out some venues.

Speaker 31 Then it's like, you know, I'll bring Amanda.

Speaker 28 She's bored.

Speaker 40 And then it's like, oh, you know, we have a kid.

Speaker 66 She goes everywhere with us.

Speaker 28 And then all of a sudden.

Speaker 95 What do you want to leave it here with like a cracker and the cat?

Speaker 56 and then and then oh wait our 16 year old son is bored bored can he come with us he's coming it is literally a harem coming over here i i'm thinking do i need a bigger house no i i heard your house is big what can the swishers expect the clampets when they get there i'm not bringing louis wanted to come suddenly but i gotta be honest you are my you are such my liberal progressive cred i'm inviting all my friends over to meet kara and amanda they're lesbians

Speaker 19 and then i'm gonna turn on Christiana Amanpour and wear my Berkeley sweatshirt and boom, I'm fucking Alan Alda.

Speaker 18 What can I explain? Don't question my purpose.

Speaker 96 Do I need to bring my own sheets?

Speaker 6 What's your name? Nice house.

Speaker 4 I got a beer fridge.

Speaker 42 Right, okay.

Speaker 12 I got like a big fat flat screen TV.

Speaker 17 I got video games. Good, okay.

Speaker 42 You have a basketball.

Speaker 22 It's a total man cave and a basketball hoop.

Speaker 49 Alex is going to dunk on you.

Speaker 37 He's very excited.

Speaker 15 Well, that's what his mother does every week.

Speaker 48 He's really good at it, actually.

Speaker 26 He's really, really good at it.

Speaker 87 So this is going to be really fun. We're going to take pictures.

Speaker 77 Then we're going down to Miami.

Speaker 6 I'm still trying to schedule our meeting with the mayor because you keep saying you can't do things.

Speaker 37 So the mayor of Miami is going to meet us.

Speaker 18 We're going to visit all kinds of things. What?

Speaker 17 Mayor Suarez.

Speaker 27 Who is already a vice presidential contender, right?

Speaker 56 He is. He was meeting with Nikki Haley.

Speaker 75 He's a very handsome man.

Speaker 39 And so we're going to meet with him and we're going to go see some venues.

Speaker 77 We're coming to Miami. We're coming to Miami.

Speaker 11 Miami is coming to us, let's be honest.

Speaker 96 That is fair. That is

Speaker 18 coming.

Speaker 56 This is very exciting.

Speaker 87 We're going to take pictures everywhere.

Speaker 18 Our spouses are going to be horrified with us.

Speaker 42 And we're going to make a lot of fun. So that's called a weekday.

Speaker 37 What do you mean?

Speaker 18 We will make it all about us, our whole thing.

Speaker 42 Okay. It's going to be.

Speaker 82 Yeah, it's going to be fun.

Speaker 54 We're going to have a good time in Miami.

Speaker 77 Anyway, I'm not bringing a bikini.

Speaker 49 I don't wear bikinis. That happens.

Speaker 24 Oh, I got a banana hammock.

Speaker 18 I got a speedo. No.

Speaker 42 N to the O.

Speaker 19 I got a little kilt for Big Ed McFlynn's called a speedo.

Speaker 16 That's right.

Speaker 19 I like to scare people off the beach.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God.

Speaker 77 I'm going to be wearing sunscreen. That's all I have to say.

Speaker 7 Anyway, we've got to get to what we're doing.

Speaker 82 This is going to be really fun. We're going to do our whole episode on Rooney About Art.

Speaker 42 Very excited. All right.

Speaker 56 Me too. I'm kind of excited.

Speaker 42 I'm really excited.

Speaker 36 It's going to be great. All right.

Speaker 48 Listen, it's been a year since we've seen each other, really.

Speaker 26 It has been a year.

Speaker 56 So a couple of stories we have to talk about.

Speaker 15 It must have been rough on you.

Speaker 53 Rough on you.

Speaker 52 No, it hasn't been.

Speaker 95 That's right.

Speaker 18 So, listen, leaning on.

Speaker 42 Hugger.

Speaker 17 Leaning in. I'm a hugger.

Speaker 42 Don't hug me.

Speaker 87 Don't even try.

Speaker 5 What's amazing is that after a full weekend together, we were still friends, despite the fact that Scott took me to a MAGA boat rally.

Speaker 18 We did.

Speaker 44 In Boca. Emboca.
DeSantis.

Speaker 67 Make America, Florida.

Speaker 50 Who is the hostess with the mostest?

Speaker 52 Good gal.

Speaker 53 Let's be honest.

Speaker 28 Over and over

Speaker 69 was your family who came and visited mine. Over and over, let's be honest, where you're constantly asking yourself,

Speaker 69 how can someone so masculine be so lovely?

Speaker 5 How can he be so lovely?

Speaker 6 No, I was thinking is your wife is amazing, and now I understand the whole equation of how it works out for Scott Galloway.

Speaker 45 That's what I'm thinking. Oh, my God.

Speaker 69 Okay, so some key moments, key highlights from the weekend.

Speaker 54 Key moments.

Speaker 83 Got to give the fans what they want.

Speaker 9 Okay, good. Got to feed the ducks here.
Yeah.

Speaker 18 From momentum. I wear a lot of makeup, but go ahead.

Speaker 97 The Swisser family comes in, and in walks the golden child, like little 18 pounds of magic.

Speaker 41 That is the most beautiful little girl.

Speaker 17 I know.

Speaker 86 Happy,

Speaker 83 no idea how you had anything to do with that.

Speaker 18 Don't understand the mechanics. Don't need to

Speaker 26 tell me.

Speaker 37 I created her from sand of the beach, but go ahead.

Speaker 16 And then in contrast, in walks this Clydesdale white LeBron, who is also your son.

Speaker 69 I mean, he's the most enormous human I have ever.

Speaker 67 We had to wax his arms to get him through the door.

Speaker 68 I'm like, we're going to need a bigger house.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 97 This kid is enormous, enormous.

Speaker 25 And my favorite moment, my favorite moment.

Speaker 37 Him falling asleep on the cat and the entire couch.

Speaker 2 My favorite moment.

Speaker 41 We all decide after a lovely day on Friday.

Speaker 2 A lovely day.

Speaker 83 By the way, who takes you to the Boca Bash for a Trump rally?

Speaker 2 The dog.

Speaker 26 I know.

Speaker 18 Thank you so much.

Speaker 87 The Confederate flags were something to say.

Speaker 18 I have to say.

Speaker 82 He's so Florida.

Speaker 18 It's so Florida. Oh, you kept saying it was.

Speaker 68 was, I'm not going in the water. Is that a QAnon flag?

Speaker 18 Anyways,

Speaker 68 I'm not going in the water.

Speaker 22 Anyway, anyways,

Speaker 18 we decide after a lovely night, a lovely day, we decide to watch something on Netflix.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 69 In Palm Beach, where you guys wouldn't take off your masks. That was very comforting.

Speaker 41 Anyways,

Speaker 83 we're back at

Speaker 83 Chateau Dog. Yeah.
And we decide, and I'm like, all right,

Speaker 83 I trust you, and I like you guys enough, I'll let you pick the Netflix program.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 22 We're all sitting down watching netflix right and then all of a sudden your son comes and sits down and we all pop into the air about a foot i mean jesus christ that's a big fucking human he is and we can't see over his size 45 sneakers i'm like dude can you get your sneakers out of the way and what is what is the what do the swishers pick

Speaker 42 by the way but go ahead what are the swishers pick what the great boston art heists and then i realize i'm drinking tea and suddenly i came to this really weird realization

Speaker 24 i'm like oh my God, I'm a lesbian.

Speaker 57 You're a lesbian.

Speaker 69 I'm the second most famous male lesbian right behind Lindsey Graham.

Speaker 24 I'm going for number one.

Speaker 66 And I started thinking, I couldn't focus on this woke shit we were watching.

Speaker 25 I'm like, am I Meredith or Baxter Bernie or am I Kelly McGillis?

Speaker 16 Who am I?

Speaker 56 Let me take you my side of the picture.

Speaker 7 Scott's wife is superb.

Speaker 57 His kids are lovely.

Speaker 56 It's kind of shocking.

Speaker 37 A lot of us kept saying of the family as we had meetings when you were not there. We were like, how does he get such a nice group of people to hang out with him?

Speaker 71 First of all, money.

Speaker 69 Mostly money.

Speaker 82 It's a beautiful home.

Speaker 96 They're very, like, the refrigerator is full of healthy foods.

Speaker 6 It's crazy. There was not a junk food nary in sight.

Speaker 85 None of his counters.

Speaker 37 Is that you or your wife? The counters have nothing on them.

Speaker 6 They're beautiful.

Speaker 77 What was going on there with that?

Speaker 12 The counters?

Speaker 18 No appliances anywhere.

Speaker 37 Everything's hidden.

Speaker 68 I like that Northern European kind of OCD look.

Speaker 64 It was aesthetic.

Speaker 85 He has a beautiful house. It's very healthy.
It feels, it doesn't, it's not a party. You'd imagine it to be a party zone, but it's not.

Speaker 18 I'm very uncomfortable with this.

Speaker 69 I'd rather be known as a faculty member living in faculty house.

Speaker 18 Okay, newspapers piling up everywhere.

Speaker 85 No, you have a very lovely, woke life.

Speaker 82 You are more woke.

Speaker 71 It was a very San Francisco experience, actually.

Speaker 18 Oh, that hurts. I'm just saying.

Speaker 71 That hurts.

Speaker 56 It is also beautiful.

Speaker 96 And it is also,

Speaker 6 it was a very, you were an excellent host.

Speaker 37 You were the hostess with the mostest, I have to say.

Speaker 16 I wanted to impress Amanda. You, not so much.

Speaker 69 No, I know what that you were giant boy jesus christ they worked out together too seriously venmo me about 11 million dollars for the crap that that guy ate oh my god he didn't stop eating he didn't stop eating it's really crazy isn't it that's crazy

Speaker 37 he ate all your food like he kept getting thirds but your wife is also a beautiful cook

Speaker 49 Okay, we'll have all the swishers all over your life, Scott.

Speaker 56 You've now joined the swishers.

Speaker 17 Swish your town.

Speaker 18 My mom sat in your house and said you might be gay.

Speaker 57 Lucky.

Speaker 41 Lucky, who kept saying, like, over and over.

Speaker 8 So I thought you were gay.

Speaker 18 I see. And I'd be like, oh, we'd all laugh uncomfortably.

Speaker 31 And then we'd say, so you drew down from Veryl Beach.

Speaker 67 And she'd go, literally, she'd go, yeah, it took us about an hour.

Speaker 18 I thought you were gay.

Speaker 18 And then she called your wife a model.

Speaker 77 She called your wife a model.

Speaker 26 That was nice. That's the story of our life.

Speaker 18 Story of our life. You're a model, aren't you?

Speaker 71 I still think he's gay.

Speaker 18 Not that there's anything wrong with him.

Speaker 57 Gay, that's his wife.

Speaker 95 Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 Scott is actually so secure in our relationship that he actually felt safe enough to take the entire month of August off.

Speaker 11 You know, daddy's going European.

Speaker 44 They get it.

Speaker 8 They get it. We're going to be dead soon.

Speaker 87 Scott, you're going to be gone for August.

Speaker 70 Explain people why you're doing this and abrogating our responsibility and our work.

Speaker 31 Well, you know why I take August off? No.

Speaker 16 Because I can, Kara.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 17 Because I can. Okay.

Speaker 70 All right. And?

Speaker 14 And? I've decided I'm going to take August off for the rest of my life.

Speaker 70 Oh, okay. All right.
Fine. Well, I'm going to to get guest hosts as many as I can.
And, of course, I'm bringing back Andrew Ross Sorkin.

Speaker 40 The Canadian.

Speaker 37 Yes, the Canadian.

Speaker 75 I'm bringing in Ben Smith from

Speaker 70 the New York Times. He's the media writer.
I have Baratun Day Thurston.

Speaker 36 Baratunde.

Speaker 39 I've got Stephanie. I'm on his podcast this week.

Speaker 18 I've got the ruler.

Speaker 2 World ruler.

Speaker 42 I've got her. I'm going to call her and just

Speaker 33 get all over for anything she says on the podcast.

Speaker 58 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 75 And then I have Katie Couric coming.

Speaker 17 Katie.

Speaker 39 Yes, I do. Yes, indeed.

Speaker 19 Katie Courric. Yes.

Speaker 78 Don't make fun of Katie Curric.

Speaker 87 She'll rip your face off.

Speaker 60 No, I like her.

Speaker 18 She looks nice. Katie.
She's very nice. All right.
I got a lot of people coming.

Speaker 83 By the way, she's made the same deal with the devil that Tom Cruise.

Speaker 69 She looked 30 when she was 20.

Speaker 14 Now she looks 30, and she's older than that now.

Speaker 27 I'm just something's going on there.

Speaker 41 That's a deal with the devil.

Speaker 18 That woman doesn't have a chance.

Speaker 58 You know what?

Speaker 95 For her, for her ceremony.

Speaker 18 Do you find out what face cream she uses? No, I will not. You can't afford it.

Speaker 56 You can't afford it.

Speaker 58 Anyway, and then lastly, I'm going to have to give you the news.

Speaker 78 I have Preet coming on.

Speaker 36 Freak coming on.

Speaker 21 That's a joke, right? No.

Speaker 45 Preet's going to happen. That's a joke.

Speaker 56 No, I got to do a legal thing.

Speaker 54 He's the legal guy.

Speaker 70 I got to do a legal show.

Speaker 65 There's a lot of legal things happening.

Speaker 89 Why would you abuse our friendship like that?

Speaker 11 Is this you lashing out?

Speaker 15 Is this you acting out?

Speaker 56 No, it's not me acting out.

Speaker 58 He's part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.

Speaker 54 We have to be pushing our shows here. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 What does Preet think? Preet, what do you think?

Speaker 5 Before he left, Scott made a helpful instructional video for the fill-in team.

Speaker 98 Hello, Pivot co-hosts or the dogs at the dog park trying to take my ball. I wanted to give you some tips.
First off, most importantly, when you are addressing Kara, she really likes it.

Speaker 98 If you start everything with, honey, let me explain to you what's really going on here. That will go really well.

Speaker 5 But let's be honest, if I can't do pivot with Scott for a whole month, the next best thing is to make him jealous and insecure.

Speaker 70 Scott Galloway is out the entire month of August.

Speaker 79 So today I'm joined by our very good friend, NBC News Senior Business Correspondent, MSNBC anchor, Stephanie Ruhl. Welcome, Stephanie.

Speaker 45 Thank you so much. Good to be here.

Speaker 85 And like Scott, a month off, are you kidding me?

Speaker 76 I know, I know.

Speaker 79 He's a European.

Speaker 76 He thinks he's European or something like that.

Speaker 49 I'm not sure what's going on.

Speaker 45 He's Plaridian.

Speaker 54 This week, I'm happy to be joined by Preet Barara, Scott's favorite person.

Speaker 96 Okay, Preet, what are the three reasons people should check out this episode?

Speaker 33 Number one,

Speaker 99 find out why Andrew Cuomo is obsessed with me.

Speaker 99 Number two,

Speaker 25 learn,

Speaker 99 learn from a true American patriot, Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vinman,

Speaker 99 about what courage is.

Speaker 50 And three,

Speaker 99 I'm a heck of a lot better than Scott Galloway.

Speaker 37 We are lucky to be joined by author, commentator, and podcaster Barratundi Thurston.

Speaker 96 Baratundi, how you doing?

Speaker 88 I'm doing great, Kara. I am not an Ibiza.
I am not on drugs.

Speaker 56 I am. Abiza.

Speaker 88 I have chosen to be with you like a responsible co-host.

Speaker 37 Scott Galloway is still somewhere tweeting and missing me.

Speaker 47 So I'm joined by his favorite Canadian, Andrew Ross Sorkin of The Good Hair, also New York Times columnist and editor, co-anchor of Squawkbox and author of Too Big to Fail.

Speaker 37 Andrew, how are you?

Speaker 9 I'm great, but we still have never gotten to the bottom of this whole Canadian thing.

Speaker 2 Do we even know?

Speaker 31 Do we know where that's from?

Speaker 70 It was probably some ayahuasca moment, and he just decided.

Speaker 37 He has a massive crush on you. Like

Speaker 38 kind of creepy.

Speaker 26 It's honestly.

Speaker 2 It's mutual, by the way.

Speaker 35 I'm a big fan.

Speaker 36 Don't worry. I am.

Speaker 31 Okay.

Speaker 31 He knows his, you know, I'm a big fan. I'm just happy to sit in

Speaker 31 his seat and keep it warm.

Speaker 96 Scott Galloway is somewhere watching Anderson Cooper.

Speaker 96 So I'm joined by journalist, author of the daily newsletter, wake up call, and founder of Katie Couric Media, Katie Couric herself, who is also a badass.

Speaker 9 Hi, Katie. Hi, Kara.
How are you? Big fan, Kara. Yeah, I'm

Speaker 37 testing out.

Speaker 55 I'm testing out co-hosts.

Speaker 70 So, you know, if I have to kill Scott at some point, which is obviously inevitable.

Speaker 49 No, I won't, but you understand he's going to cancel himself at one moment in his life. So therefore.

Speaker 37 I think he already has a million times, but somehow he's able to live to do another podcast.

Speaker 57 That's true.

Speaker 65 I don't understand it, but nonetheless, I have to be, you know, be prepared.

Speaker 100 Scott Galloway is taking in a performance of his favorite play, Mama Mia, so I'm joined by George Hahn, actor, writer, satirist, and according to the New York Times, urban raconteur.

Speaker 45 George.

Speaker 21 Kara.

Speaker 87 I'm so excited to have you here.

Speaker 1 Not as excited as I am to be here.

Speaker 6 Well, this is this.

Speaker 100 You are the final guest host.

Speaker 5 But Scott can never stay away too long.

Speaker 6 George, we're going to pivot to a listener question.

Speaker 74 Roll the tape.

Speaker 27 Bonjour, Kiera. My name is Betrand.

Speaker 27 I live in the border between France, Beljon, and Albania.

Speaker 1 What is it like to work with such a formidable genius

Speaker 1 that is the hound, that is the dog, the expression of masculinity?

Speaker 32 It's just strong like both.

Speaker 29 Love this show.

Speaker 27 Again, this is Betrande. Definitely Betrande.

Speaker 32 Big fan.

Speaker 51 Scott.

Speaker 58 Scott, get back in here. He's in the other room.

Speaker 18 No. He's in the other room.
That was last night.

Speaker 58 And he managed to get

Speaker 47 those non-champs off and get over here.

Speaker 58 That's not an accent.

Speaker 50 He's trying to talk through a gag ball.

Speaker 42 Scott, knock it off.

Speaker 2 Water later.

Speaker 5 We're going to take another quick break. And when we come back, a few notes on parenting, Twitter, and all of our very best insults from 2021.
And there are so many.

Speaker 30 Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

Speaker 90 I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

Speaker 18 He's going the distance.

Speaker 38 He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

Speaker 6 When it started to change, it was quick.

Speaker 50 He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Speaker 101 Now, Charlie's sober. He's going to tell you the truth.

Speaker 90 How do I present this with any class?

Speaker 101 I think we're past that, Charlie.

Speaker 90 We're past that, yeah.

Speaker 18 Somebody call action.

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 81 Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Speaker 24 Welcome back.

Speaker 8 If there's one thing Kara and I do well, it's multitask, which Kara also proved by running two other podcasts, writing tons of columns, and having a fourth child at the age of 89.

Speaker 40 Super impressive.

Speaker 8 She also had a cold for what seemed like an entire season. Do you know it's the year of the cold for Kara Swisher, but fortunately, she also had the dog to cheer her on.

Speaker 19 We have such

Speaker 46 really

Speaker 10 big news here, and I'm very serious.

Speaker 65 Scott is getting a vasectomy no no no that's not what's going on it's related

Speaker 25 it's related it's you want to break the news or should I

Speaker 65 I shall because it is not about you oh everything's about me come on go ahead now bring it back to man trust me I'll be able to do this because you love my children so much and because you always talk about how I'm a perfect parent which I am I've decided that it's a good idea and of course I had nothing to do with it that we have yet another child.

Speaker 65 My lovely wife and I, Amanda, are having another baby due in December. So we are four kids.
That's what we're doing. We're being very inappropriate.

Speaker 66 Are we allowed to talk about the sex of the kid?

Speaker 65 Sure. Yes.

Speaker 65 Yes, I guess. It's a boy.

Speaker 65 So I will have three boys and one golden child girl. And the two of us will.
And I'm very excited. I'm very excited.

Speaker 65 I feel like only lesbians and evangelicals are having that many children, and except ours are getting vaccinated.

Speaker 40 I am so excited.

Speaker 29 And by the way, of course, like every piece of good news, I have a nice emotional response.

Speaker 30 I I think people like you and Amanda should have kids.

Speaker 23 I think that's good for the world.

Speaker 65 Yes, we have good kids.

Speaker 31 And I'm not bothered by your age because you're rich. And the fact that when this kid's going to college, you'll be, let me see, dead.

Speaker 46 You'll be dead.

Speaker 26 That's the only thing.

Speaker 58 That is the, I thought, you know, my oldest son turned to me and he said, you are almost out, mom.

Speaker 17 You mean Bain?

Speaker 63 Almost out.

Speaker 65 Yeah, Bane, my 19-year-old, lovely son. Louis, literally, and you'll see him at Code next week.
He turned to me and he was literally like, you are this close to me.

Speaker 33 I think you lean in.

Speaker 24 There's a Sultan of Brunei with 45 kids. You're the Sultan of Wokestan.

Speaker 29 I think you go for like a dozen kids.

Speaker 65 Yeah, my other son was saying that some men had, he was telling me about, I think it was a Genghis Khan. I can't remember which one he is.
He had like 300 kids. So I feel okay.
I feel okay.

Speaker 65 I cannot have 300 kids.

Speaker 12 So you know there's a decent chance I'm the father, right?

Speaker 65 No.

Speaker 65 100% not.

Speaker 36 Okay, so this is how.

Speaker 66 This is a true story.

Speaker 22 Okay. True story.

Speaker 31 And again, because of your voice, I'm

Speaker 65 taking over the family.

Speaker 65 There was an item when my first son was born that Jeff Bezos might be the father. So that's got as much accuracy as this.
But go ahead. Please avail yourself.

Speaker 31 Okay, so true story, because I was an athlete for seven months, I had something called access to the athlete job board at UCLA.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 29 And one of the jobs is I, you know, people say, follow your passion, the money will follow.

Speaker 23 Well, I found that for nine months, and that is no joke, I became a sperm donor.

Speaker 65 Yes, I remember this.

Speaker 24 So if your son, when you go to get its driver's license, is 5'10, 120 with bad acne, angry, but funny, but funny, and really good on a skateboard,

Speaker 31 chances are I'm

Speaker 2 your baby daddy.

Speaker 65 It's too old. Your sperm is too old.
And it was unregulated.

Speaker 63 No, you are not the father at all.

Speaker 65 Let me just disabuse everybody.

Speaker 23 Wouldn't that be nice? No.

Speaker 63 Wouldn't that be nice?

Speaker 65 Except I could sue you for a lot of money. No.

Speaker 63 So now

Speaker 63 four children.

Speaker 65 Okay, let's get back to Amanda and me and the children.

Speaker 10 No, I want to finish where I started.

Speaker 23 I think that the reason we're here is to create a better world through happy, loving, secure children.

Speaker 14 And I think the two of you are outstanding at that.

Speaker 20 I think all your kids share those qualities. So well done.

Speaker 19 It's a good service.

Speaker 31 Kara, I'm okay with you having kids at the age of 78.

Speaker 32 You and Tony Randall, I'm fine with it.

Speaker 4 I'm fine with it.

Speaker 65 All right. I'm very excited.

Speaker 63 I think four is my limit. That's great news.

Speaker 65 If not, I turn into like an Appalachian story. So I am very excited.
And Amanda is the best parent. And my other kids are great.
great and I co-parent my kids with a very wonderful person too.

Speaker 65 So I'm a very lucky lady with all these children.

Speaker 42 I agree with you.

Speaker 65 And my fifth child who is always Scott Galloway.

Speaker 71 Anyway, who is the most difficult?

Speaker 65 Who is literally like the golden child is so much easier than you are in every aspect, just so you know.

Speaker 22 That's right. Yeah.
That's right. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 65 Anyway, thank you, Scott. I'm very excited.
And I asked Amanda's permission to say this, but we're super excited. So I may take a few weeks off during that time period, but probably not.

Speaker 86 I'll probably be. Unacceptable.

Speaker 17 Unacceptable.

Speaker 31 And by the way, the reason you are in this relationship with someone younger, cooler, and hotter than you is because you make the cabbage and the Benjamins.

Speaker 83 Let me give you a little inside track on what it means to be a daddy.

Speaker 25 It means you bring home the cabbage.

Speaker 36 That is true.

Speaker 53 So no time off.

Speaker 17 No time off.

Speaker 36 No time off.

Speaker 5 And speaking of daddies, Scott took his shirt off a lot this year, unfortunately.

Speaker 8 It'd be fair.

Speaker 30 It would be unfair to keep that to myself.

Speaker 18 Hi, everybody.

Speaker 56 This is Pivot from New York Magazine and the Vox Media Podcast Network.

Speaker 48 I don't know what to say, but I'm Kara Swisher. Scott, are you there?

Speaker 31 Let's just call out the elephant in the room.

Speaker 33 You are questioning.

Speaker 66 You are questioning your sexuality.

Speaker 17 No. You know what's going on?

Speaker 64 No, in fact.

Speaker 67 You saw my photo and you're thinking, I don't know.

Speaker 35 Maybe I'll give this whole outdoor plumbing thing, this hooking up with

Speaker 31 guys with Nick's sweatshirts and baseball caps on backwards.

Speaker 66 Maybe I made a mistake. Look at the note.

Speaker 26 No.

Speaker 85 It's It's actually solidified my commitment to lesbianism.

Speaker 56 I have to say, I am now a there is no way I'm going back at this point in my life.

Speaker 77 Listen, for those who aren't following everything Scott Galloway does, he posted a photo of himself with the caption on waxed and backed, and he was he was showing off his gun show.

Speaker 46 Gun shows in town.

Speaker 18 Boom. I'm too sexy for my shirt.
Too sexy for my shirt.

Speaker 70 So sexy. I need you to explain yourself because I got pummeled last night by people.

Speaker 42 Rebecca did.

Speaker 55 You're so embarrassing. So embarrassing.

Speaker 8 My 13-year-old boy refused to go to school this morning.

Speaker 18 Okay. All right.
Thank you.

Speaker 57 Everybody is like, what is the what the fuck?

Speaker 59 Explain yourself, Scott Galloway.

Speaker 10 I don't use the term lesbian.

Speaker 30 I just say ex-girlfriend.

Speaker 52 Okay, excellent. Excellent.

Speaker 62 Listen, Kim Kardashian.

Speaker 38 I don't know where to begin.

Speaker 37 Jeff Bezos shows off his pecs.

Speaker 58 Who else shows it?

Speaker 82 You know, Christopher Maloney, Chris Maloney, who's in this new SVU version of whatever.

Speaker 17 That guy's in great shape.

Speaker 55 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 56 He is in good shape.

Speaker 37 He shows his butt off a lot. You have yet to do that.

Speaker 59 And if that happens, I'm not, I think we're going to need to have a divorce.

Speaker 49 But explain yourself.

Speaker 56 What, what possessed you?

Speaker 82 Because literally I was slammed. My texts were slammed.

Speaker 39 The Twitter was gone nuts.

Speaker 82 Explain what you were doing in that. moment.

Speaker 73 So this may come as a shock to you, but like many of my tweets, I didn't put a ton of thought into this.

Speaker 49 No, like zero, with less than, less than.

Speaker 14 No, but honestly, Kara, honestly, I think it's important to raise awareness around the role that exercise plays in mental health and how important it is to stay fit during COVID.

Speaker 19 That all is a lie.

Speaker 18 That all is a lie.

Speaker 46 So you want to really know what it is.

Speaker 37 I thought it was. I was meditating then, but okay.

Speaker 31 Well, first off, first off, what's amazing is no one's noticed that in everything I do, I'm constantly in a state of undress.

Speaker 66 I love to wear drag.

Speaker 35 I constantly wear women's clothing.

Speaker 17 Yeah, you do.

Speaker 35 I'm constantly taking off my shirt.

Speaker 4 You are.

Speaker 31 I did it on Vice TV.

Speaker 86 I love physicality.

Speaker 21 I love

Speaker 15 being profane.

Speaker 23 And let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.

Speaker 12 So, first off, I did the tweet, and immediately Stephanie Rule kicks things off with, I just threw up in my mouth.

Speaker 56 Yes, I know that because she also tweeted and texted me.

Speaker 55 But go ahead.

Speaker 18 My women's group went crazy.

Speaker 15 Oh, my.

Speaker 31 There's not enough bleach in the world.

Speaker 25 That was one of my favorites, but my favorite was definitely raising a spack.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 18 That was a good one.

Speaker 2 But here's the thing.

Speaker 56 She just wrote insane as she texted it to me.

Speaker 33 Why comma, Kama Black?

Speaker 37 And then someone someone else was, Amanda was it's a lot.

Speaker 82 Hillary Rosen was Bill Mayer influence, question mark.

Speaker 36 That's right.

Speaker 57 You know, what, what is happening here?

Speaker 18 Well, hold on.

Speaker 30 Before we deep into it, so let's be honest. Okay.

Speaker 36 I'll break it down for you.

Speaker 4 51% vanity.

Speaker 17 All right.

Speaker 30 40% insecurity. Actually, it slipped.
51% insecurity, 40% vanity.

Speaker 15 And I've been working out four times a week for 40 years.

Speaker 35 I like to signal my fitness.

Speaker 31 I like to say to people I'm a fucking monster.

Speaker 2 It makes me feel feel masculine and it's totally vain. Right.

Speaker 4 The question I have, though.

Speaker 49 You know, Chamoth did this, FYI, Chamoth polyhopaj.

Speaker 40 Yeah, that's everyone was comparing me to him.

Speaker 59 Yeah, they were.

Speaker 49 And then Bezos, sure, with the shirt off kind of thing.

Speaker 23 I don't mind.

Speaker 31 I don't mind either of those comparisons.

Speaker 40 Anyway, so let me ask you this, though, and I'm being serious.

Speaker 35 What if I had the exact same thing?

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 66 But I posted the same picture, but I was a 56-year-old woman.

Speaker 30 How would the response have been different?

Speaker 62 I know.

Speaker 43 Then I began to think about it.

Speaker 18 How would the response be different?

Speaker 65 Hot, hot, hot.

Speaker 36 You're a queen.

Speaker 57 Okay. All right.

Speaker 49 But you just put it up because you think you look good, right? Is that really pretty much it?

Speaker 34 Pretty much. Pretty much.

Speaker 42 Full stop.

Speaker 18 Full stop.

Speaker 26 You did look good.

Speaker 18 I got to say. You look good.

Speaker 86 Little dog, little half of the dog, little dog in this pound.

Speaker 33 Little dog in his pound.

Speaker 18 Give me a bone, baby. Give me a bone.

Speaker 55 You just, I don't, what are you going to do next?

Speaker 26 Is this going to be a little bit more?

Speaker 88 I'm 56 years old.

Speaker 14 Do you know how fucking crazy terrible I'm going to look in 10 years?

Speaker 53 Probably.

Speaker 30 When I'm on my deathbed, and this is how I make every decision, I'm going to look back and I go, yeah, that was stupid and I'm glad I did it.

Speaker 18 Okay. All right.
Okay. Embrace the slothy, vain part of yourself.

Speaker 54 That's what I say. Okay.
You know what?

Speaker 61 If Kim Kardashing can do it, me and Kim.

Speaker 18 Me and Kim.

Speaker 23 I appreciate it.

Speaker 30 I appreciate your defense of my vanity.

Speaker 49 I did. I defended it to everyone who said, what the fuck, Scott?

Speaker 56 You need to, you need to dump his ass immediately.

Speaker 18 I was like, no.

Speaker 14 You need to dump his ass immediately.

Speaker 51 It's true.

Speaker 53 I know.

Speaker 72 I was like, no, not today.

Speaker 5 Thank you for joining us each week as we exchange bold ideas, smart takes, civil disagreements, and articulate arguments. We look forward to bringing you more of that in 2022.
Double that.

Speaker 5 But don't worry, there'll be plenty of bickering, triggering, dunking, Twitter shaming, and world-class insults.

Speaker 19 B-League, bad news bears, Peter Navarro, like Joey Bagadona's team.

Speaker 48 I call him Uncle Satan because he's so affable.

Speaker 23 He's kind of a representative gaslight.

Speaker 45 He's a reductive nincom pooper.

Speaker 30 That sellout, that lipstick on cancer, that gas station posing as an economy called Russia.

Speaker 45 Republican douchebaggery.

Speaker 25 Baby boomer, encephalitic.

Speaker 28 the mother of all star fuckers.

Speaker 65 Stupid windmill.

Speaker 61 It's mendacious fox.

Speaker 5 Mendacious fucks.

Speaker 61 It's mendacious fox.

Speaker 85 These people have to stop.

Speaker 54 They need to shut the fuck up.

Speaker 84 Thank you.

Speaker 31 That's a wrap on 2021 for the jungle cat and the dog.

Speaker 83 Happy New Year.

Speaker 23 Now I'm absolutely going back to Tuluma doing a bunch of molly just for the good of the world.

Speaker 45 Don't hug me.

Speaker 45 Don't do it in front of me because you'll try to hug me and that will end badly for you.

Speaker 61 You so badly want to hug the dog.

Speaker 42 I really don't.

Speaker 70 Do you pretend to be aware of Twitter knows you love me?

Speaker 2 Twitter knows you love me.

Speaker 78 There's not even a moment that I think about hugging you.

Speaker 94 Your sausage mcmuffin with egg didn't change.

Speaker 22 Your receipt did.

Speaker 94 The sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just five dollars. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 Prices and participation may vary.