PSA Presents: The 2023 Pundies

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Speaker 16 Welcome to Pod Save America. I'm John Favreau.

Speaker 17 I'm John Lovett.

Speaker 18 I'm Dan Pfeiffer.

Speaker 19 Tommy Vitor.

Speaker 16 The gang is all here. Look at us.
It's time for our year-end tradition, the Pundies,

Speaker 16 where we relive the year's hottest takes and get angry all over again.

Speaker 16 Plus, we set our New Year's resolutions and see how well we kept last year's.

Speaker 3 I had fun. I truly don't remember.

Speaker 20 I'm so happy I'm not on tape for that.

Speaker 16 Yeah, well. Suckers.

Speaker 16 Let's start with the Pundies. And here to present this year's nominees nominees in six exciting categories, Pod Save America writer Hallie Kiefer.

Speaker 4 Hello, gentlemen.

Speaker 3 How are you feeling? Very festive.

Speaker 16 So festive.

Speaker 4 Good, because we're here today with the actual start of the award season. Yes, I said it.
The SAG Awards, more like the Hag Awards.

Speaker 4 Gold Blows, more like this shit blows.

Speaker 4 The Oscars.

Speaker 3 The Oscars get burned in hell.

Speaker 4 All of which is to say, it is an honor and a pleasure to join you in handing out these, the most coveted award in Hollyweird, the Pundies.

Speaker 4 And I'd like to apologize last year for when I opened the wrong envelope and gave best picture to La La Lam.

Speaker 3 That was all on me.

Speaker 4 That wasn't even a category, and the envelope was my cable bill. Anyways, best picture goes to Moonlight, and Best Punditry goes to the winner of this year's categories.
Let us begin.

Speaker 4 My worst category, worst Beltway brain.

Speaker 4 Cutting.

Speaker 4 From misguided predictions to baffling analyses, Beltway media Media was full of memorable missteps that sparked debates, raised eyebrows, and perhaps even shape the discourse.

Speaker 4 A word that makes me want to turn my back on the English language. Here are the moments that made us cringe, chuckle, and really contemplate the world around us.

Speaker 4 All right, first off. You know how money rules every facet of American politics and rich people basically get their way 100% of the time?

Speaker 20 Cream.

Speaker 4 Yes. Have you ever taken the time to truly ponder whether that's a good or bad thing? Obviously not, you fools.
Luckily, Washington Post columnist Dan, I'm going to say balls.

Speaker 3 Yeah, balls is correct. Well, there you have it.

Speaker 3 How else do you pronounce it?

Speaker 4 I don't know. I was hoping there was another option.

Speaker 4 My eyes hit and I thought there's got to be somebody else.

Speaker 4 Luckily, he addressed that very thing in an article titled, The Mega Rich Are the New Political Bosses. Is that bad for democracy?

Speaker 4 The demise of political party bosses and the smoke-filled rooms in which they operated was heralded a long time ago as an important step towards handing more power over the section of presidential nominees to ordinary citizens.

Speaker 4 Who would have thought then that billionaires would seek to become the new bosses of American politics? Had you guys thought about that?

Speaker 3 Have you guys thought about that for a second?

Speaker 20 I guess you're making a good point. I think historically speaking, billionaires have often sought to be the bosses

Speaker 20 of politics and a lot of other things.

Speaker 4 I hadn't thought of it.

Speaker 3 Is this my only in one chance to defend Dan Balls?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Do it.

Speaker 3 At least in this game. Okay, perfect.
Dan Balls, best political reporter of his generation. Wow.
Nicest guy on the planet. Funniest name.
Yes. Great name.
Great name. Great name.

Speaker 3 I think he was poorly served by his headline writer here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 18 And so many reporters on this. Yes.
So many.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he is a man from a generation that predates clickbait headlines for the Washington Post. And so we're going to talk.

Speaker 3 There are going to be a lot of bad people who are terrible, who know nothing about politics in this segment. Dan Balls is not one of those people.

Speaker 16 Yeah, there's some Elijah working at the Washington Post that made Dan Balls have an SEO.

Speaker 3 That's exactly it. We are all Dan Balls to Elijah's Washington Post.

Speaker 17 An SEO neurism.

Speaker 4 And today we celebrate those Elijahs up next to slap an apostrophe on that name too it's even funnier it is you know what I'm saying in the possessive something that he may have owned

Speaker 3 do you ever wonder if Dan Balls and Dan Zach did a uh ko-by line

Speaker 18 like a like a like a ball Zach yeah

Speaker 4 something for 2024 gentlemen Up next this year Bidenomics could have really swayed public opinion if we just took the time to rebrand take out the Biden replace it with Beyonce Barbie or even Taylor Swift.

Speaker 4 Now we're talking, that's right, we're talking about Exio's article, Bay, Barbie, and Swift saved the economy.

Speaker 4 Just to read a quote, the blowout success of Taylor Swift's Aris tour, combined with the record box office juice of the Barbie movie, is helping to buoy the economy and prevent a recession.

Speaker 4 Thanks, Barbie. for saving the economy and also letting me chew on your shoes as a kid.
Just me?

Speaker 3 On to the next.

Speaker 20 I would swap their heads with Ken. My sister would get very mad.

Speaker 3 You were ahead of the time, though. You were thinking ahead.

Speaker 4 That's avant-garde.

Speaker 4 Our third nominee, John, John, Tommy, congratulations. Pod Save America has finally influenced a bad beltway take.
Finally. Give yourselves a pat on the back as we delve into the playbooks.

Speaker 4 Read of Obama saying nobody's hands are clean while talking about violence in Gaza during a recent PSA interview in an article playbook titled, Nobody's Hands Are Clean. Really thinking there, guys.

Speaker 4 And under their coveted why this matters section, they wrote, an embrace of a two-state solution recognizing a free Palestinian state based on 1967 borders, which, by the way, was also George W.

Speaker 4 Bush's position, though now it seems like almost a pipe dream for the Palestinian cause. But on the other hand, Obama's remarks were a jaw-dropper for about a million reasons.

Speaker 4 And finally, our fourth option. Would I want good quality dating advice? But I don't.

Speaker 4 The first place I go is at my friends or my family or even that one couple who's still going strong with their pandemic relationship.

Speaker 4 No, it's the Washington Post again, whose editorial appears to have realized just how badly our toxic politics is upsetting upsetting the domestic sphere.

Speaker 4 This, of course, is the headline: If attitudes don't shift, a political dating mismatch will threaten marriage. And finally, to read a quote: the problem with polarization, though, is that

Speaker 4 it has effects well beyond the political realm, and that can be difficult to anticipate. What example is the collapse of American marriage? That's tough stuff.

Speaker 20 So I just want to add a little something because I do think the politico playbook conversation about Barack Obama's comments on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict included the line about his nobody's hands are clean comment.

Speaker 20 They may even be quickly lumped into those notorious evocative phrases politicians used in moments of passion, such as Bush's notorious mission accomplished.

Speaker 3 So Obama saying, hey, you know what?

Speaker 18 We all made mistakes.

Speaker 20 We're all culpable for this horrifying situation we see overseas. Let's not just point fingers at each other.
Let's work together to try to solve something.

Speaker 20 It's the same as hanging a banner on a fucking aircraft carrier a month into a war that went on for what, another decade?

Speaker 16 Look, that is not only the worst take in that category, Lifetime Achievement Award.

Speaker 3 That is for playbook, which has had some real doozies over the years.

Speaker 16 Real hump dingers.

Speaker 16 Even though I read it every morning and oftentimes it's very good, that is maybe the one of the top five worst playbook takes of all time.

Speaker 17 Yeah. Well, it's already not lived.
The take is already

Speaker 17 a brown banana because it has not captured the amount. You know, it's like we're not, it's not, it isn't mission impossible.
Mission impossible. It isn't mission accomplished.

Speaker 17 Like we're not, it didn't carry that meaning. It just was a kind of subtle and nuanced and well-made point that

Speaker 17 through that through that phrase captured people's attention. And then

Speaker 16 one of the many reasons it wasn't like mission accomplished is because he wasn't president when he said it.

Speaker 18 Right. So of course it didn't.

Speaker 16 matter beyond that.

Speaker 3 I thought the foundation's decision to put it on a banner behind us was a mistake, but other than that, I also had multiple political reporters that I was talking to say, yeah, that was absolutely terrible.

Speaker 3 Drewin, Tommy dishes the tea.

Speaker 3 He had a topic. I was a title reporter on the Mondays.

Speaker 3 Dylan Meyer's in the house.

Speaker 3 I'm getting booed. No,

Speaker 3 no, you're not getting huge.

Speaker 3 I was saying boo.

Speaker 3 Boos and booze sounds pretty similar.

Speaker 24 But they're different. But they're different.

Speaker 17 A lot of things sound similar, but are different.

Speaker 20 Remember when the Bruins had a goalie named Andy Moog, and everyone should say, moo, and it sounded like boo.

Speaker 22 Lived up the street. You remember that one?

Speaker 3 Lived up the street for me. Do I remember a Bruins goalie?

Speaker 18 Bruin.

Speaker 4 Well, next category, it seems like.

Speaker 3 Wait, don't we?

Speaker 4 That we're calling out the window. Well, I want to say, unless it's...
Oh, do we wanted to read him again? Or are you guys doing that early?

Speaker 16 Also, there's a lot of evidence that Barbie and Taylor Swift and Beyonce did have a big influence on the economy. It was a great take.
And then

Speaker 16 the dating thing was just sort of funny and silly.

Speaker 17 I think that

Speaker 17 I did not enjoy the take of the dating article because it's a little bit like, you know, know, every once in a while, the New York Times will do a story about how, like,

Speaker 17 somebody, a progressive, will win like a small town mayorship, and then some MAGA people will like, you know, throw rocks at their house.

Speaker 17 And then the headline of the article will be, like, a nation divided, can it come together?

Speaker 3 And it's like,

Speaker 17 that article is a little bit like that because it's like, hey, a group of men have made themselves undateable freaks. Will marriage survive?

Speaker 18 Probably not for them.

Speaker 3 For the rest of us.

Speaker 4 Yeah, bad news, gentlemen. Great.
So it sounds like it is a universal playbook. Congratulations.
You have won the Punti for the Worst Beltway Brain Award this year. You stink.

Speaker 4 Next category, dumbest conservative outrage. And we got some good ones.

Speaker 3 This is good. I'm excited for this.

Speaker 4 2023 was quite a year.

Speaker 4 What a statement for the outrage machines in right-wing media. Trump's multiple indictments led to multiple continued calls for civil war.

Speaker 4 Fox News settled with Dominion over a $700 million deal for lying about the 2020 election. Rupert Murdoch lived out a succession dream and handed his son Lachlan the keys to his media empire.

Speaker 4 And lest we forget, let's take a moment of silence for Tucker Carlson's acrimonious exit from Fox News to X. What a fool.
Now, presenting the nominees for Pundy for Dumbest Conservative Media Outrage.

Speaker 4 Remember just a little over a month ago when Trump, very casually, very chill, started referring to human beings as vermin.

Speaker 3 I do remember.

Speaker 4 Including us, specifically us and everyone listening. Vermin, just vermin all the way down.

Speaker 4 The vermin line prompted an entire media cycle saying that Trump was channing the spirit and tenor of a well-known historical figure, as Reed put it in this document, Adolf Hitler.

Speaker 3 Remember him, gentlemen.

Speaker 4 Those Hitler comparisons then prompted an entire counter-news cycle about the right denying Trump's word, recalled the Nazi leader.

Speaker 4 One of the best, of course, being News Max's Greg Kelly. And let's take a listen.
We have a clip.

Speaker 25 You know, they say that Donald Trump is like Hitler. He's using the same words that Hitler used.
Well, Hitler used the word chair, okay? I sit in a chair.

Speaker 3 That doesn't make me right, you see?

Speaker 25 But they don't stop, do they? Yeah, is this a problem? I guess it is.

Speaker 18 So good.

Speaker 17 Hitler used conjunctions.

Speaker 17 Just a dumb fucking. That's just, just, just think of the people that worked on.

Speaker 18 What a good point.

Speaker 3 What a good point.

Speaker 4 I like that you could even hear him go, uh, like in the middle of it.

Speaker 3 He's like, I don't.

Speaker 4 I'm just about to bail, but he can't.

Speaker 4 Up next, almost nothing riles the right, like reproductive freedom.

Speaker 4 But as abortion has become an Achilles heel for Republicans in elections, right-wing pundits have started to get creative with the ways they argue that abortion shouldn't be banned because they're liars, of course.

Speaker 4 Here's Fox's Greg Gutfeld making the, I guess, transcendent case against abortion.

Speaker 26 Abortion is based on a fear that is greater than the actual reality. And if you don't believe me, talk to somebody who had a baby and then think about how they were before they had the baby.

Speaker 26 That's called a transformational change, right? It's the best anti-abortion argument out there, and no one is making it. People do have their reasons for abortions.

Speaker 26 But underneath all that is a fear of this transformational change. And if you

Speaker 23 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 17 I don't understand the take.

Speaker 4 I think the idea is that if you scream at a woman and say you'll be happy after you have a baby, then you're like, I guess I'll put aside all the other considerations.

Speaker 3 Right, like

Speaker 18 you don't know what's good for you.

Speaker 16 Exactly. You're going to be so psyched.

Speaker 20 You might have a life-threatening complication with your pregnancy and could die.

Speaker 3 But.

Speaker 4 But if you let

Speaker 4 Gutfeld into your hospital room to scream at you, maybe.

Speaker 20 He'll be good. Yeah, put on the five.

Speaker 4 Up next, we hear the pundies. We don't want to just celebrate mainstream right-wing media outlets like Fox or Newsmax.

Speaker 4 No, we know there is a great big cesspool of far-right commentators swimming in the vast ocean of the internet that are well worth being made fun of. And that ocean, of course, is a toilet.

Speaker 4 One such reliable candidate is white supremacist and, of course, Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes, most well known to the listener for that infamous dinner between Fuentes, Kanye West, and Donald Trump, the once and future president.

Speaker 3 If we don't do something about it, people.

Speaker 17 Not since Jefferson dined alone.

Speaker 4 Here's what Fuentes had to say about, of course, a topic that we all want to hear weigh in, the birds of the bees.

Speaker 27 You should not seek sex because if you seek sex, you will become gay because sex is a gay act.

Speaker 27 The straightest thing you could do is to never have sex.

Speaker 27 And everyone knows that's true. Want to know why?

Speaker 27 Because you retain your semen and you sublimate your sexual desire. to creating things.
That's why celibacy is the straightest thing. Because who are the celibates?

Speaker 28 Monks?

Speaker 28 Priests?

Speaker 19 Souls? Not a good track record.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 20 Famously straight. Famous.

Speaker 3 What the? That was

Speaker 3 killed. I never heard that.
I want to hear the remaining contenders, but I kind of know what's going on in strongweed.

Speaker 4 Finally, here in California, we love overpriced smoothies, wearing shorts year-round. I love it.

Speaker 21 I'm talking to you.

Speaker 4 And of course, a great workout, especially yoga. But Candace Owens has her own ideas about a different kind of yoga that that we all should be doing.
Let's hear a clip.

Speaker 30 So let me tell you why I like conspiracy theories. I like conspiracy theories because I view them as mind yoga.

Speaker 30 It's very important to bend your mind like a pretzel sometimes to make sure that you actually have a mind. You know what I'm saying? I actually do believe that if you don't use it, you lose it.

Speaker 30 You know, when it comes to conspiracy theories, I always say this. I say that I find the people.
that don't believe in any conspiracy theories to be out of their minds. They're out of their minds.

Speaker 30 They're absolutely crazy.

Speaker 3 How?

Speaker 4 That's That's a tough one, too.

Speaker 16 What was the first one again?

Speaker 4 Well, I'll be happy to recap. We, of course, have Newsmax's Greg Kelly.
Hitler also said chair. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 We have Greg Guttfeld, the transformational change of forcing women to have children.

Speaker 4 All sex is gay.

Speaker 4 Really, an all-time, if you ask me. And of course, conspiracies are mind yogurt.
Actually, if you don't believe in conspiracies theories, you're crazy.

Speaker 17 I will say for that last point, I do think you've got to be aware of that.

Speaker 3 Oh, no.

Speaker 3 You got to have one. You gotta have one

Speaker 3 downward low, but you're gonna be able to get it. You gotta have fucking one.

Speaker 3 You gotta have one that you believe.

Speaker 17 I, for one, personally believe that Fidel Castro was the father of Justin Trudeau.

Speaker 21 Yeah, we do know that. We all need one.

Speaker 20 That is yours. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 17 I do. I do.
The timelines.

Speaker 3 The timeline.

Speaker 16 This is another episode if you want to go check it out.

Speaker 3 Oh, we did this once, didn't we?

Speaker 18 We did.

Speaker 17 And I know, anyway, I'm sure there are votes for Fuentes, but I personally think the Gutfeld take is the more kind of fulsome, terrible.

Speaker 20 I think I'm with you.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I just think this idea that like a guy hosting a fucking low-rent fallon for conservatives, telling women that they know they don't understand what's good for them, is the story of America in 2023.

Speaker 20 Some truth to that. Okay.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 20 I do think the Fuentes thing is instructive in a similar way and just a reminder that a lot of the worst people in politics in the United States and all over the country are just sad, pathetic men who can't get girls to talk to them, and it leads them to this place where you're an actual Nazi.

Speaker 20 Right.

Speaker 17 Just have like just very confused and

Speaker 17 untouched.

Speaker 3 Intel culture.

Speaker 4 Well, on that note, congratulations, Greg Guttfeld, for winning the Pundy for Dumbus Conservative Outrage.

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Speaker 4 Category 3, the Jesse Waters Bonus Award, or as I'm calling it, the Jesse Waters Golden Hairline Award. 2023 wasn't just a big year for Trump indictments.

Speaker 4 It was also a big year for Jesse Waters, aka Diet Tucker Carlson, who took over Fox's crime time slot and he came out swinging.

Speaker 4 Just, of course, like the January 6th protesters had planned for Mike Pence. Producers, let's roll that beautiful bean footage up front.

Speaker 4 We have the holidays are a time time for giving gifts, spreading love and joy. And if you're Jesse Waters being aggressively upset about looting, let's play the clip.

Speaker 33 Allowing Americans to loot, allowing Americans to shoplift up to $900, not prosecuting street-level theft.

Speaker 34 Is this the establishment's way of paying reparations without admitting it?

Speaker 3 Jesus.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 Off to a great start.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 4 Up next, we have, speaking of the holidays, Jesse Waters has thoughts about the Nutcracker and Santa Claus.

Speaker 4 Of course, he does. Let's play the clip.

Speaker 17 Gay Nutcracker.

Speaker 33 Complete with a rainbow hat, a trans flag. Full price, $12.
But right now, it's on sale for $8.

Speaker 4 I, of course, have two of them here with me.

Speaker 17 So that's the gay Nutcracker. But do we have the other one, I think, is...

Speaker 17 Oh, no, are we going to play the Santa one?

Speaker 4 No, but there is, they also have...

Speaker 17 come out against uh black santa in a wheelchair so so one of the so as part of the warren christmas target and this is part of that clip, is that they're selling a Santa who is black and uses a wheelchair.

Speaker 17 And that is being, that is part of their War on Christmas coverage. But of course, it's not anti-Christmas.
Right. Because it is Santa.

Speaker 17 It's just the anti-wheelchair.

Speaker 20 Well, but Megan Kelly famously told us that Santa is white. So it's a war on Christmas because you're changing with your Santa.

Speaker 3 Right, right, right. Just, okay.

Speaker 17 Sorry, pal. I get it.

Speaker 16 Anyway, reparations is still in the lead for me.

Speaker 22 I don't don't know if we have another. No.

Speaker 4 Up next, again, in July, the world was eagerly awaiting the start of the Women's World Cup, and Jesse Waters, unfortunately, was too.

Speaker 34 Some people have told me that I have actually done more for women's sports than Meghan Rapineau has done, that maybe she's a traitor in the war on women, and I have fought valiantly in that war, obviously on the women's side.

Speaker 34 That's not me saying that. And I actually disagree with that.
I'm just saying it's something that's being said.

Speaker 17 That's funny. I'm sorry.
but that was funny.

Speaker 16 That is funny.

Speaker 4 He's not saying it.

Speaker 4 He also does disagree with it.

Speaker 20 Just a quick reminder: that Jesse Waters flattened his now wife's tires so that he could do a damsel in distress thing and give her a ride home.

Speaker 3 Who was it?

Speaker 20 I believe it didn't choose intern at the time.

Speaker 3 Yeah. What a good guy.

Speaker 18 Let the air out of her tires.

Speaker 3 He told this story on television.

Speaker 17 He told the story on television. They were like, but it's okay because we're married now.
And everyone's like,

Speaker 3 you're a serial killer.

Speaker 4 And finally, Jesse isn't just an advocate for women's sports. He's also a paragon of masculinity with a lot of thoughts about how men should drink liquids.
Let's hear that clip.

Speaker 33 Joe Biden used a straw. Now, if you've seen me on the five or on prime time, you know I recommend that all men refrain from using straws.
It's unbecoming the way a man's lips purse.

Speaker 33 The size of the straw is just too dainty. The way your fingers clasp on it.
No, come on. Straws are for women and little kids.

Speaker 20 Straws are just baby dicks.

Speaker 3 It sounds like a drink.

Speaker 4 He said they're too dainty. If he had a big fat straw, it sounds like he'd be broke.

Speaker 14 Like a PVC pipe.

Speaker 3 Some real circumference on that straw. Here's the thing.

Speaker 17 Here's the thing that is very frustrating to me about this. It can't be that the woke liberals are taking away our straws.
And straws are just for fags and kids.

Speaker 3 It can't be that.

Speaker 17 You have to just pick one.

Speaker 18 Good point.

Speaker 3 Well, she didn't play the second part of the clip where he said the only thing gayer than a plastic straw is a paper straw.

Speaker 16 I was going to say that is pretty.

Speaker 3 Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 17 I just think it may not come up in the polling, but just underneath some of Biden's challenges related to age are every time you're handed a paper straw, a little part of you is like, I could vote for Trump.

Speaker 17 I don't know if it'll stop this, but it couldn't hurt.

Speaker 3 And with that mind too.

Speaker 16 Or they don't give you a straw at all.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. But how am I supposed to drink this thing?

Speaker 17 Yeah, in Los Angeles, you have to ask for the straw.

Speaker 3 I think it's a city ordinance, right? Yeah, you bet it is.

Speaker 18 You bet it is.

Speaker 3 Welcome to LA. Yeah, thanks, Garcetti.

Speaker 17 Where are you now?

Speaker 3 Is he in Mumbai or not?

Speaker 3 They finally got

Speaker 3 to take his one-way ticket.

Speaker 24 He took away our straws, one-way ticket to fucking Mumbai.

Speaker 17 Adios, man. Get out of here.
Every time I go to Starbucks, I got to ask for a straw. My dentist told me to.

Speaker 20 It's like when Shane Gillis says, Learning too much about World War II is early onset republicanism. It's a very similar vibe.

Speaker 4 So, gentlemen, just to recap, we have Is Looting Reparations?

Speaker 3 Gay Nutcracker,

Speaker 4 bad. Some people have told me I have actually done more for women's sports than Megan Rapineau.
And of course, Biden using a straw. It's more than a little gay.

Speaker 4 Which of these should win the illustrious Jesse Waters bonus award?

Speaker 16 For me, it's reparations by a mile.

Speaker 3 Not any crime.

Speaker 16 It's not often you just get like pure uncut racism.

Speaker 20 If that was said at a group dinner, jaws would drop.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 20 Shocked, people would leave.

Speaker 16 There's no debate over that one. It's just right there.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Just a racist colour.

Speaker 4 Congratulations, Jesse Waters. Congrats, Jesse.
You stink. You suck.
Category four, worst take by a Pod Safe American host. That's you guys.
There we go.

Speaker 3 I think I know where mine is. Good stuff.
Oh, God.

Speaker 4 You guys aren't doing the prediction business. Again, read.
Come on. Which is funny because you made a lot of predictions this year.

Speaker 4 Okay, here are the dominees for worst take by a pod safe American host.

Speaker 4 And PU, did you guys have some duds?

Speaker 4 This year was filled with Republican speaker chaos after they booted out McCarthy and couldn't coalesce around a new leader. Dan waited, tweeting, one, I'm skeptical.
Mike Johnson is a real person.

Speaker 4 Two, it's so damn funny. These members think that a guy who lost to the guy who couldn't get 217 votes is the one who can get 217 votes.

Speaker 4 Of course, Mike Johnson was elected speaker immediately after they're welcomed.

Speaker 4 You have blown it, Daniel.

Speaker 3 Up next.

Speaker 4 Unfortunately, and I did not order these. Unfortunately, Dan Dan is also next.

Speaker 3 Dan

Speaker 4 was on a prediction streak this year.

Speaker 4 Senator Tommy Tuberville pulled a great big, stinky stunt this year, holding up all the military promotions and protests of military reproductive health care policies.

Speaker 4 Dan predicted in July that Tuberville would quickly fold on his military promotions holdup, but Tuberville held strong for most of the year. Dan was only off by five months.

Speaker 3 I was using the long span of history.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so to the elected Arthur Justice. There's one

Speaker 16 Dan taken down for having too much faith in Tommy Turkey.

Speaker 17 It was short for a bail bob treat.

Speaker 4 Up next, while Lovett got a lot of heat for supporting Tim Scott,

Speaker 4 our very own Jon Favreau made an even bolder prediction back in June. What?

Speaker 3 I don't know what this is.

Speaker 4 Vivek Ramaswamy would beat at least Ron DeSantis. Say that.
Obviously, Vivek Starr has since fallen rapidly.

Speaker 3 Hey, the votes have not been cast. I was going to say,

Speaker 3 there's still plenty of time.

Speaker 16 Remains to be seen.

Speaker 4 I think it's just so he could smile. And you're like, well, one of them could smile.
It's going to be that one. But then when he opens his mouth, it's all bad.

Speaker 4 And finally, Lovett spent all summer focused on the issues that matter. The Gwyneth Patrowski trial.
On the day Trump was indicted, he tweeted, Trump indicted, Gwyneth innocent.

Speaker 4 God bless this country. And I'm saying this now.
Gwyneth did hit that man. I believe it.
I have a Gwyneth tricker.

Speaker 4 She absolutely hit that man.

Speaker 17 That's ridiculous.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying anything else is true about what he said. I'm saying if she did do it.
If she did it.

Speaker 17 That's my bad take. I've had so many worse takes than that.
Gwyneth was innocent.

Speaker 16 Can you just convince a worse love-it-take than that?

Speaker 4 Oh, all of a sudden we believe in the court system. Okay.

Speaker 3 I didn't know that. I think we're going to have to pretty soon.

Speaker 4 Much like how Warren Beatty didn't write all the envelopes, I am simply hosting the pundies. I was given this and I am hosting.
Gentlemen, who's taking home the award for worst take?

Speaker 17 We don't have a Tommy take.

Speaker 4 We have an entire Tommy Round. It's a surprise.

Speaker 3 That's so cute. Yes, let me say something obnoxious first to sum myself up.
Yeah, damn, it's so close. It was on the tip of his tongue.
I will nominate myself for Mike Johnson. Okay.

Speaker 3 And the lesson, which means

Speaker 3 he cares too much. I may.
He's fucking fagged.

Speaker 4 So, gentlemen, who is taking home the award for worst take by a PodSafe America host,

Speaker 4 Sans Tommy Round?

Speaker 16 Yeah, it's definitely five-for-one.

Speaker 17 I do think that was tough. That was tough.
I mean, we'll see what the Vivek thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, exactly. Plenty of time.

Speaker 3 It's also, you have two takes from me that are clearly wrong. One from John that is likely wrong, but not yet wrong.
So we can hang on to that thing. And then one where

Speaker 3 you're just disavowing the American justice system.

Speaker 3 That's true. Dude, would you say mental yoga right now?

Speaker 4 I believe very much in mental yoga. And actually, if you don't, you're the one who's crazy, dude.
Anyways, category five. Up next.

Speaker 4 Now you might all be wondering, not a single bad take from Tommy all year. And that's true, he was on an absolute heater.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 John, John, and Dan, you could learn a thing about discipline and consistency from Tommy. Strong arms, winning smile.
If anyone were to run, well, it'd be a no-brainer, but not so fast.

Speaker 4 We did find a lot of bizarre nonsense on Tommy's Twitter, inspiring a new category called,

Speaker 4 What Was Tommy Up To?

Speaker 4 Here are your nominees for the What Was Tommy Up To award. award.

Speaker 4 First tweet at Gavin Newsome off to a great start. Put politics aside and name Ben Shapir your emergency flood coordinator.
He'll have this place bone dry in no time.

Speaker 3 That's good. I mean you take.
That's only

Speaker 3 referencing. That's a good test.
That's just funny. That's tough.
That's a good job. That's a good joke.

Speaker 3 That's a good take.

Speaker 4 Up next, being over 40 means you will never understand why everyone is tweeting Kevin James photos. That's okay.
This is my Twitter serenity prayer.

Speaker 20 That meme made no sense.

Speaker 16 I still don't know.

Speaker 24 Kevin James everywhere.

Speaker 20 Even the people tweeting Kevin James didn't know why they were tweeting Kevin James.

Speaker 4 I know what you mean it. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know either. Look at her.

Speaker 3 Does anyone know here?

Speaker 17 I'm sorry, but I do know.

Speaker 3 Well, can you explain it?

Speaker 17 Well,

Speaker 17 it's because he's making a real funny face. And it's like, what if he's the DJ? What if he's the DJ? The idea is who put that terrible song on?

Speaker 17 And then you cut to Kevin James being like, oops, it was me, Kevin James, America's sweetheart. I don't think you need to overthink it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's probably right.

Speaker 4 That's the lesson that Lovett wants to impart to all of us.

Speaker 3 Don't overthink it. Don't overthink it.

Speaker 4 Up next, this might be the least relatable article ever written. You gorged on your European vacation but lost weight.

Speaker 4 I also saw that and I didn't understand it.

Speaker 24 I think it was in the New York Times.

Speaker 4 Could that possibly be true?

Speaker 18 It was some bullshit about preservatives, I think.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, our food's bad. I think it was the

Speaker 3 point.

Speaker 24 It was insufferable.

Speaker 17 Oh, the idea that the reason that you can go to Europe, gorge for a week, and not gain weight, because in America, we have Xantham gum in our fucking food.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's the argument.

Speaker 18 What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

Speaker 17 Does that ever happen?

Speaker 4 I think that might be my one.

Speaker 3 Because you walked through the cities the whole time. Oh, that's your

Speaker 18 cortex cacao.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 I feel a workout. You're the Doddwood dog up in here thinking about all that bread.

Speaker 4 And finally, just got a phone burner auto-generated email message that started, Happy New Year to you and your family. Get your shit together, people, it's September.

Speaker 4 And no, I will never take the call.

Speaker 4 Gentlemen, which Tommy tweet should walk home in their caruumas with the coveted what's tommy up to award

Speaker 16 um i think the last one maybe

Speaker 3 yeah i think um is the award for what's like what is yeah they've all got a real like uh dancer 40 i'm on the line's the funniest

Speaker 17 a lot of like rare where's my snippers delivery

Speaker 20 that is referencing a infamous but famous also john pot horitz tweet where he yelled at a hamburger place and he drove himself off Twitter

Speaker 3 and then came back and then went off to get himself off again. I think the broader point here is in the year in which many Americans took Twitter off their phone, tweeted less, Tommy leaned in.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he really leaned in.

Speaker 22 He did, didn't I?

Speaker 20 Sheryl Sandberg, that shit.

Speaker 4 So again, tweeting at Gavin Newsom about Ben Shapiro's WAP opinions,

Speaker 4 saying that he's too old to understand the Kevin James meme.

Speaker 4 And then tried to explain. And boy, that was a tough walk.

Speaker 3 And then

Speaker 4 European bread makes you thin. And of course, finally, just yelling at an auto-generated email message he received.

Speaker 3 That's some holes in your mind.

Speaker 17 That's a pretty, that's yelling at class.

Speaker 3 That's right.

Speaker 3 I think they're auto-generated.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's like one step.

Speaker 17 That's one step away from being like, Southwest, you technically didn't board the B group in order.

Speaker 24 Housemates, stop with the robots.

Speaker 3 I hate the robots. I do too.
Tommy, great job.

Speaker 4 Thank you.

Speaker 3 Keep coming. Thank you.

Speaker 4 And finally, this is the last category. We've had a lot of fun.
I can go all day, you know.

Speaker 3 And finally, it's the moment you've all been waiting for.

Speaker 4 Takes come and go, but only one will be remembered as 2023's Take of the Year. Gentlemen, I'm shaking with anticipation and also thinking about that queer nutcracker thing.
These are my children.

Speaker 3 Leave them alone.

Speaker 4 Here are your nominees. Ben Terrace.
Terrace?

Speaker 4 Ben Terrace in the Washington Post with this headline: Awkward American See Themselves in Ron DeSantis.

Speaker 16 That's one of the best stories of the year. This is a very self-aware story.

Speaker 3 Are these the Pulitzers or the Pundies?

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 4 let me just read a quick quote.

Speaker 4 He's, of course, interviewing the Twitter clothes reviewer Menswear Guy.

Speaker 3 I love that guy.

Speaker 4 And the quote is: when Guy, the menswear writer, watched a video of DeSantis cycling through four different facial expressions in about three seconds during a news conference, which we've all seen before.

Speaker 4 He said something disturbing. What he said was, oh, God.
He remembers saying to himself, that's me. That's more about that guy, though.

Speaker 4 That's chilling. Yeah.
But that's that man's journey. That's, that's complicated.

Speaker 20 He should have got Dan's balls on the byline.

Speaker 23 Straighten that story out.

Speaker 17 At the very beginning,

Speaker 17 there was a Republican, as we're recording this, there was a Republican debate last night. And if you just watch the first 15 seconds of the debate,

Speaker 17 when they go to a wide shot and you see Ron DeSantis, his hands are at his side. So vibrating.

Speaker 35 So forward.

Speaker 16 And it wasn't just the first, they went back a couple times during the debate, and every single time he was doing it.

Speaker 17 It's really, it's really, he's nervous. He's nervous and he's like, he's trying to get the energy out of his body.

Speaker 18 It's like very, very relatable.

Speaker 16 He's so awkward. I'm still pulling for Vivek.

Speaker 20 The jaw is dancing like he's been at Studio 54 for a couple hours.

Speaker 16 A lot of teeth grinding.

Speaker 20 That's all I'm saying. A lot of teeth grinding.

Speaker 3 Another timely reference. I'm not here to give News Nation advice, but they were trying to make a little extra income on top of the 55,000 viewers a night they get.
Premium DeSantis cam.

Speaker 3 Yeah, absolutely. Five extra bucks, you get DeSantis the whole time.
Never leaves on time. Day to save the news business.
I love that.

Speaker 17 And if I five more dollars, just the feet.

Speaker 4 DeSantis feet. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Up next, we have Peter Baker in the New York Times with an article titled, Trump Flourishes in the Glare of His Indictment.

Speaker 17 I remember this story. This is one of the worst stories of the year.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to say, I'm assuming he needs the flourish of his hand after he backhands a maintenance man man for not ruining his boxes of confidential documents with pool water.

Speaker 4 Here's an excerpt from the article.

Speaker 4 He has spent the days since a grand jury called him a potential criminal, milking the moment for all it's worth, savoring the attention as no one else in modern American politics would.

Speaker 3 That's not good. That's not good.

Speaker 4 Up next, we have Harry Enton on CNN in May. DeSantis has a chance at winning the NOM.
And here's an excerpt. Still, DeSantis remains by far the best hope hope for anti-Trump forces within the GOP.

Speaker 4 And a few recent historical examples indicate he has a real chance to be his party's nominee.

Speaker 4 And then finally, Henry Olson in a Washington Post op-ed, Republicans saved democracy in 2020. And an excerpt from that

Speaker 16 guy, me too.

Speaker 4 Former Vice President Mike Pence has received some credit for his courage in resisting Trump's entreaties, but not nearly enough.

Speaker 4 The same is true of Republican leaders at every level of government who put country over party. A swing and a miss for Henry Olson and a missed swing for Mike Pence.

Speaker 4 Gentlemen, who has earned this year's

Speaker 4 take of the year?

Speaker 17 So I do think we need to say, I think the Harry Engine take was just a fine look at the data. It was just trying to find an argument.

Speaker 17 I think that this is... And the Ben Terra story I thought was good as well.

Speaker 17 So I think this is very clearly between that Republicans save the Republic and the Peter Baker Trump Flourishes Under Under Indictment. I think those are the two, the alpha and omega of this category.

Speaker 3 We're because we're basically in the take prote zone, which means any take I make right now is ineligible for next year's take at 20 of the year. Very smart deal.

Speaker 3 The take I'm going to offer is Harry Enton right then, still correct right now. Wow.

Speaker 3 Damn Daniel. All right.

Speaker 3 Damn. Tommy Buchara.
What does that mean?

Speaker 17 Doesn't get a current Kevin James meme, but damn Daniel's the fucking.

Speaker 3 Tommy's like, what if my vine isn't working?

Speaker 3 Like, is anyone else having problems getting their new vines?

Speaker 20 Ben Terrace famously smoked out Tim Scott's girlfriend, too.

Speaker 3 He did. And wrote that amazing hero.
And wrote that amazing piece on the Conway marriage where they like led him into his house.

Speaker 17 Oh, my God. I was, by the way, so confused.
I was like. Ben Terrace smoked weed with Tim Scott's girlfriend?

Speaker 3 Now I'd read that.

Speaker 4 Now I'd read that article.

Speaker 17 So I do want to, like, there is something about, like, there is a kind of like handshake between the Peter Baker, Trump Flourishes Under Indictment stories, and the Trump is a dictator standing astride history because indictments can't stop him and normal politics can't stop him, which is that like, this idea of like Trump as a magical figure

Speaker 17 who hangs above everything like a fucking fart. And I just sort of,

Speaker 17 I just think that there's something that unites the anti-Trump and nonpartisan media in how they sometimes talk about Trump. That's just an observation I wanted to make.
That's a good observation.

Speaker 16 Well, and no one embodies that better than Peter Baker.

Speaker 17 Absolutely. Nobody.

Speaker 16 His stories are all bangers in that regard. I got to go with Henry Olson just because,

Speaker 16 yeah, it's the Republicans. The Republican Party, the elected leaders of that party, just famously backing away from Trump at all the right moments.

Speaker 17 Well, it's just sort of like, here's the thing. If

Speaker 17 a person,

Speaker 17 I don't know, jumps on a trampoline for a while, nobody's like, wow, great job.

Speaker 3 If a bear does it, Everyone's like, wow, that bear's smart and cool.

Speaker 17 Republicans protecting democracy are like bears on a trampoline. Everyone's like, look at that.

Speaker 3 This is the Daxis. This is dancing bear thing.
Axis dancing bear thing. Yeah, he leveled it up with the trampoline.
Wait, what? Have you even heard Axerod say that?

Speaker 3 That's dancing bear on a trampoline.

Speaker 16 No, when a bear is dancing,

Speaker 16 you don't critique the bears dancing.

Speaker 19 You just say, what the fuck's the bear dancing for?

Speaker 3 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 17 Well, cool. Great minds.

Speaker 24 I also think Joe Biden's too old.

Speaker 3 Also a prick.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 fired. I feel like that's the take of the air, gentlemen.
Shots fired. Holy shit.
Oh, my God. Holy shit.

Speaker 3 Unbelievable. Somebody get the Kevlar.

Speaker 3 What the fuck? Well, congratulations.

Speaker 3 I didn't know what else. What the fuck?

Speaker 3 Jesus.

Speaker 4 Congratulations to Peter Baker, Henry Olson, and of course. Jon Favreau for those takes.
Gentlemen, this was this year's Pundies. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 3 Thanks so much for having me

Speaker 3 for crushed it.

Speaker 16 All right, a few quick housekeeping notes. 2024 is a huge, super high-stakes election year, and there's so much to keep track of.

Speaker 16 You got important voting deadlines, volunteer shifts, emergency therapy, and apparently you still have to go to work and stuff.

Speaker 16 That's why Cricket and Vote Save America created a 2024 planner to help you stay sane and organized next year.

Speaker 16 It's filled with important dates, much-needed motivation, and fun stuff to keep you from losing your mind. To get your planner, planner, head to crooked.com/slash store now.

Speaker 17 It's very funny and good.

Speaker 3 That's cool.

Speaker 16 I didn't know we were selling that.

Speaker 3 I love when John learns the housekeeping for the first time.

Speaker 3 It's every time.

Speaker 16 Also, if you're looking for something to binge this holiday season, Friends of the Pod subscribers now have access to a new limited series feed where you can listen uninterrupted to this land, Dreamtown, Atalanto, and Another Russia right now.

Speaker 16 Three fantastic limited series that we've done here. Check them out.
Head to crooked.com/slash friends to sign up and listen.

Speaker 3 What's popping, listeners?

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Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 16 It's our last segment of the year, which means it is time to set our new year's resolutions. Love it, we're going to start with you.

Speaker 17 Well, don't we start with the previous year's resolutions?

Speaker 3 Okay, so let's, I want to, don't I get to hear what my end? Oh, you. Sorry, I'm just doing it.

Speaker 17 Well, I thought you turned to me to talk.

Speaker 17 You turned to me and said, I thought, sorry.

Speaker 18 My mouth was open to say another shot.

Speaker 3 Well, it didn't seem like it. Didn't seem like it.
Didn't seem like it.

Speaker 3 Didn't seem like it.

Speaker 3 Didn't seem like it. Love it, let's start with you.

Speaker 16 Here's what you said last year.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 17 I want to start more books.

Speaker 3 I don't need to finish them. No, no, no, no, no.
It's just specific.

Speaker 17 It's specific. I want to start more books because I feel like there's this pressure to finish.
Abdul made this resolution about finishing more books.

Speaker 16 No, no, no.

Speaker 17 That's wrong. You should start.
If you're not, it's like if you, if you're making every flight, you're going to the airport too early.

Speaker 17 If you're finishing every book, you're not taking enough chances out there. I want to start stuff and just know that if I don't finish it, it's okay.
You know, so I want to start more books.

Speaker 16 Nerd. How'd you do?

Speaker 17 I fucking crushed. My Audible is a graveyard of first chapters.

Speaker 3 I did it.

Speaker 17 I did it. Like, remember early in the year, I was talking about how I was reading that book, Rise and Kill First, about

Speaker 17 the early days of Israel and the massage.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's the early days too. What?

Speaker 18 It gets up to like 2012.

Speaker 21 Yeah, but once it got morally ambivalent, I got out. Right, right.

Speaker 17 When they were hunting Nazis, I was fucking in. But by the time it got to the part where, oh, this is a deeply, deeply troubling situation, I was like, fuck it.
It's time for some fiction.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 16 I don't remember that that was your resolution, but I did the same thing this year.

Speaker 3 Good.

Speaker 21 I'm proud of you.

Speaker 16 I started, there's my Kindle, just a ton of books where there's like, you know, 10% done, 8% done.

Speaker 20 Anyway, big Amazon over here.

Speaker 3 Real cool.

Speaker 16 All right, Lovett. What's your resolution for the show?

Speaker 17 So I was thinking a lot about where my resolution was going to be, and here's what my resolution is.

Speaker 17 Because, look, as everyone listening knows, I have discovered a new kind of emotional and psychological discipline around diet and exercise called experimental pancreas medicine.

Speaker 17 And because of that, what I realized is for the first time,

Speaker 17 as far back as I can remember, I've always had a diet and exercise resolution.

Speaker 17 I've always had a resolution that was that was tied to the fact that I feel bad about how I eat and I feel guilty whenever I eat too much and that like I'm always spending a huge part of my brain on that project.

Speaker 17 And for the first time, I don't have that. I really don't.
And it's really cool. Forget the fact that like it helps use weight.

Speaker 17 Like it helped my help free myself from a really unhealthy relationship with food. And so my resolution is to not spend the year worrying about

Speaker 17 food and diet. Like for the first time, to go into this year without any kind of like emotionally unhealthy relationship with food and diet and exercise.
That's my resolution and to keep that going.

Speaker 3 Great.

Speaker 19 Good luck. Thanks.

Speaker 3 As long as they can keep this, as long as Novo Nordos can keep this shit rolling off the fucking assembly line, I think I'll be fine.

Speaker 16 Next up is Dan.

Speaker 20 Sometimes the diabetics get all the medicine and get a weight.

Speaker 3 Oh my God.

Speaker 17 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
I waited for the shortages to be over, people.

Speaker 17 Stay out of my threads.

Speaker 3 Next up is Dan.

Speaker 16 Dan, here's your resolution from last year. Dan, what you got one for 2023?

Speaker 3 In 2023, my resolution is to not mail in the year's resolution section of this bycast, which I do every year.

Speaker 17 Yeah, but we really do come up with them in real time.

Speaker 22 Okay, well, that's it, huh?

Speaker 16 That's it. Well, you know what? The playback next year is not going to be as weird.

Speaker 20 Debatable.

Speaker 3 I'm going to set some context, which is two years ago, I went first, and my resolution was something very basic: that I was going to start playing pickup basketball again.

Speaker 3 Then, right after we went Love It, who gave a very extensive, vulnerable take on how he's improved his mental health and how he wanted to focus on it. It's post-pandemic.
It was post-pandemic.

Speaker 3 Coming out of the pandemic,

Speaker 17 it was very thoughtful.

Speaker 3 Then we get to our show last year, and they played Love It's first, and then mine, which did not

Speaker 3 age well.

Speaker 17 Mine was like to find joy and meaning in the small things. And Dan's like, dribble, dribble, dribble.

Speaker 3 I just want to shoot more

Speaker 3 but then I will admit that 90 minutes ago

Speaker 3 I'm so glad here we go I first I asked John if he would tell me what my uh resolution was because like the nerd he is he prepped for this by listening to last year's pod on the way to the studio too

Speaker 3 and uh 89 minutes before that I texted my wife to say I need a new year's resolution for this year

Speaker 16 and I was about to tell Dan but then he's like because I just, I can't do it last minute again.

Speaker 18 And then I was like, you know what? I can't tell you.

Speaker 3 You already have done it last year. Yeah, I have.
I already failed. I already failed.
He's like, this is going great. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So next year, I'm not going to do that one again because I will fail it again. So I got to say something.

Speaker 3 I have at least a slightly greater chance of this is the most like meta resolution I ever heard in my life.

Speaker 16 Just like looking through mirrors.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 The thing I really want to work on this year is regaining some semblance of my attention span.

Speaker 3 That's a great start. Because I really have felt fine.

Speaker 3 trust me, I looked at the order in the script.

Speaker 3 Mine's closed. Like in the Republican debate, when they ask which president is your role model, you have to make sure you're not last on the Republican debate because you can't do Reagan.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Good, cool. If you're going to do attention span, you got to come before Jon Faffre here.
And so I do feel post-pandemic, post-two kids, my attention span really has

Speaker 3 shortened and that I it's I'm not reading enough stuff.

Speaker 3 I have spent spent too much time with podcasts in my ears. I'm going to listen to the same number of podcasts, to be very clear.

Speaker 3 Just not like, I'm going to try to find more time when I'm not, like, do it in the car, not like walking around, doing the dishes. I want to spend less time on social media.

Speaker 3 I want to thank Elon Musk for making that somewhat easier.

Speaker 3 But I really, like, I talk about it all the time, but I really do need to turn the notifications for a lot of stuff off my phone, or at least the non-sports notifications off my phone. That's great.

Speaker 3 I like that resolution. I like that one.

Speaker 16 All right. Here's what I said last year: Resolution for me.

Speaker 16 You're going to roll your eyes.

Speaker 16 I'm going to volunteer more. And I know, I know.
But I feel like by saying it out loud like this, I'm going to be held accountable.

Speaker 16 And like, it's one of those things you always want to do, but like, I got to actually go out and do it on a regular basis.

Speaker 3 If you have a nonprofit organization, a charity, whatever it is,

Speaker 3 donate either. You got to show up.

Speaker 35 You need him.

Speaker 3 If you need Jon Favreau's time, message him on social media. Hey, everybody.

Speaker 17 Can you just hear that silence? That's the sound of soup not being ladled.

Speaker 3 I just want you all to know, I have never whiffed on a New Year's resolution as hard as I whiffed on that one.

Speaker 16 I did zero volunteering. Oh, buddy.

Speaker 3 Oh, we. Oh, that is not true.
I went 44. I never saw that.

Speaker 3 That's why I was wondering I never saw.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I was the set of footprints next year.

Speaker 18 We did the taste at home thing with Emily and Hannah.

Speaker 3 I thought about that. That was two years ago.
That was for their birthday.

Speaker 16 That was for their birthday.

Speaker 16 two years ago. So, because I had the same thought, Tommy.
And we did obviously knock on doors in Louisville and that, but that I'm not counting because that's like political.

Speaker 3 If you film it for social media, it doesn't count. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 16 So I just fucked up. And I did donate a lot, which is exactly what I told myself I couldn't do.

Speaker 16 But like, that is the thing. You're like, oh, I don't have the time, so I'm just going to donate money instead.
It's not a good substitute. I mean, it's a fine substitute.

Speaker 16 It's better than nothing, but I fucked it up. So maybe I'll volunteer this year.

Speaker 3 But that's not my resolution. My resolution is about me.

Speaker 3 Look, there's one thing I learned in myself in 2020 is I can't help others. Maybe I can help myself.

Speaker 17 Yeah, well, that's where you have to start.

Speaker 17 How are you going to love somebody else if you can't love yourself, as Rupa would say?

Speaker 16 Part of my resolution is like similar to Dan's, which is my attention span's gone.

Speaker 16 I have a strategy, which is I want to take like a walk 20 to 30 minutes a day, maybe a couple days a week, realistically, where I don't bring my phone and I don't listen to anything.

Speaker 19 And I got TikTok, the silent walk.

Speaker 16 Yeah, the silent walk. And because I've done it a few times over the last year.
Yeah. And it actually does like clear out your head, makes you feel better, slows everything down.

Speaker 16 And it's, it's, and I think next year, especially with the election and about to have two kids, could use the time.

Speaker 16 So I'm going to hopefully take just a little time for myself to just walk around with my thoughts.

Speaker 3 Can I ask you one question just so we put safety into this? Sure. Do you remember the time you went for the walk and you fell and broke your shoulder?

Speaker 16 Yeah. No, I'm still.

Speaker 3 Did you still dealing with that? Did you limp home or did you call for help?

Speaker 16 I limped home. Okay.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 17 Can I ask, can I add something to your resolution?

Speaker 17 I'd like to issue a challenge right now. And here's my challenge.
Can you promise to us right now that in the year 2024...

Speaker 16 I'll volunteer once?

Speaker 3 No, I don't care. You will.

Speaker 17 That's not what this is about.

Speaker 3 This is about you.

Speaker 17 I want you to promise to the listeners that you will not use your phone at the urinal.

Speaker 3 I want you to make a promise. That's not a sad promise.

Speaker 17 Do not. You're not going to.
That is time that can be just for you.

Speaker 16 Let's say I've walked into the bathroom and have seen you use your phone at the urinal.

Speaker 22 No, it's not.

Speaker 3 It's an opportunity cost there, like a little gander at your own dick. Like, what are we, what are we missing out on? It's thoughts in your head.
Thoughts.

Speaker 21 I think it's like a time.

Speaker 16 It's not a perfect time to look at your phone.

Speaker 3 It's not a perfect time to look at your phone. It's a perfect time to look at your phone.
It's a great time.

Speaker 18 No, you're not in.

Speaker 17 No, I'm not wow for that.

Speaker 3 Okay. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 All right. All right.

Speaker 16 I have, I did the, this is all from offline challenge, but then once in a while I just go to the bathroom without the phone. It is nice to just go without the phone to the bathroom.

Speaker 21 Yeah, a little treat.

Speaker 3 Because if it's there, it's just you and your penis.

Speaker 17 Hey, old friend. Sorry I've been so distracted.
I should be more present with you.

Speaker 3 Anyway. All right.
Walks alone.

Speaker 3 From volunteering to walk alone.

Speaker 17 Basically, basically, yeah, you just, you want to do the part where you're not on your phone all the time, but you want to help anybody with it.

Speaker 16 As I listened to my my resolution from last year and knew what I was going to do for this year, I was just like, oh, I'm an asshole.

Speaker 16 But anyway, finally, Tommy, you were out during our resolutions episode last year. So we thought we'd try something different and let the Discord members submit one for you to react to.

Speaker 22 Come on.

Speaker 23 Don't worry.

Speaker 16 It's not a funny one. This is just, it's genuine.
This is, I know, so you're going to hit it even more. This is from Erica.

Speaker 16 A few years ago, when the Republicans here in North Carolina did some fuckery with a bunch of constitutional amendments, I used my socials to cover an amendment each week, and it felt like I was just shouting into a vacuum.

Speaker 16 But then a co-worker came up to me in late October and asked where my amendment update was.

Speaker 16 So I want to use this year whatever platform I do have to make sure people know that I can and will tell them what's at stake. Tommy, what do you think?

Speaker 16 Does that feel doable using your platforms to tell people what's at stake?

Speaker 20 I mean, that's very nice. I feel like I do a lot of that.

Speaker 18 Yeah, what the fuck else are we doing here?

Speaker 3 Do you remember this whole podcast?

Speaker 3 I don't think she's challenged.

Speaker 35 She's not, you're not being chastised.

Speaker 3 This is about her, I think.

Speaker 18 Yeah. I feel like this is supposed to be adversarial.

Speaker 20 That's what we do.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not with the listeners, with each other.
Hey, interesting.

Speaker 18 Why do you feel that way?

Speaker 18 What a funny reaction. Do I get to talk or does Discord get to talk for me?

Speaker 20 You get to talk.

Speaker 3 Okay, great.

Speaker 20 I do want to, again, say to John, Gen Z thinks they invented walking without headphones.

Speaker 18 So I just do think that's wild.

Speaker 19 That's important.

Speaker 19 Silent walk.

Speaker 20 I have a few because I'm the anti-Dan in this.

Speaker 20 Next year, I want to skip this recording again so that I cannot be held accountable once again.

Speaker 20 I somehow somehow got on a list that has led me to get dozens of cold emails from random tech consultants. I want to find that list, destroy it, and destroy whoever created it.

Speaker 18 Do you not get these?

Speaker 17 The first resolution is to do, to not do something, and the second resolution is to unsubscribe from something.

Speaker 3 Do you get them from people? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you get from people to murder someone. Yes.

Speaker 16 Tommy, do you get them from people trying to solicit crooked? Yes, specifically. And it's like, hey, John, love to talk to you about your blah, blah, blah.
SEO optimization.

Speaker 16 And then I don't respond because I'm not going to respond to fucking people who email me who I don't know just out of the blue to solicit me.

Speaker 22 So I don't respond.

Speaker 16 And then a week later, you get, hey, John, just following up. Would love to do it.

Speaker 24 With a link for you to click for their own calendar.

Speaker 16 And then sometimes you get like the fourth or fifth email. It's like, hey, John, if you don't want to talk to me or there's someone better at the company to talk to, just let me know.

Speaker 16 It's like, no, fuck you.

Speaker 17 Well, that's it. This is right.

Speaker 24 Hey, stop bothering me.

Speaker 17 If you're coming to me directly to ask about business, I already know you're not the kind of person that I should be doing business with.

Speaker 3 That's exactly right.

Speaker 17 If you're coming to me, you've made a mistake.

Speaker 3 Learn better. Good resolution, Tommy.

Speaker 20 Apparently, I need to tweet younger.

Speaker 22 That's a problem for me.

Speaker 16 I think trying to tweet younger is going to be a problem.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I would try to thread contemporary. Okay.

Speaker 3 Brutal.

Speaker 19 Hey, toot your age.

Speaker 3 I want to.

Speaker 3 Tweet younger. I think that's what Jared Leto got.

Speaker 19 Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Speaker 20 I want to finally convince you guys that January 6th was an inside job.

Speaker 20 I've been running, pushing this boulder up the hill. I want to force myself to stay in bed until 5:30 in the morning.
Oh, no matter what.

Speaker 3 God. Wow.

Speaker 3 This is the insomnia thing.

Speaker 17 Between John wanting to take walks outside and you wanting to sleep till 5:30, you might as well get a comfortable pair of shoes and go to the mall.

Speaker 24 It's not even about sleeping.

Speaker 20 It's about training your body that you don't get a reward if you get up at 4:15, you fucking psycho.

Speaker 3 I think you do. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You get texting us.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Texting us about the news.
Look, I have said at least three really bad polls by 500.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 22 It just sends me.

Speaker 17 I'm not on this chain, but I'm sleeping for a while.

Speaker 35 I want to win elections.

Speaker 3 Jesus fucking. The worst thing is the F.
Oh, you like that one? I want to hang out with my daughter more. Oh.

Speaker 3 Do you have a problem with that?

Speaker 21 Why don't you take it up with her?

Speaker 18 She's one years old.

Speaker 3 One year. One year.

Speaker 20 Well, I could say year and change now.

Speaker 23 A year and a day.

Speaker 3 That's a good resolution.

Speaker 3 There's just a great way to end.

Speaker 17 I I feel like you did a bunch of resolutions. Not one of them showed a shred of vulnerability or desire to change.

Speaker 20 Oh, I'm sorry. Eating better.

Speaker 20 Taking a shot to eat better.

Speaker 16 We were joking earlier about the time Tommy did the resolution that was like, I'm going to work out less.

Speaker 24 Work out less and eat more fat.

Speaker 3 I've never triggered you hardwise.

Speaker 3 That's the whole time. It was frustrating fucking resolution.

Speaker 17 I want to work out less and eat more junk food.

Speaker 3 Fucking you. And then they had to come back here later and say, failed.
Failed. Yeah.
Failed. Failed.
I still look like this. Yeah, I still look like this.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Maybe I will get the sweet sauce with my salmon.

Speaker 3 Fucking unbelievable. Unbelievable.
It's over yet.

Speaker 16 All right. That's our show for today and this year.
Those are the pundies.

Speaker 3 Those are our resolutions.

Speaker 16 Make sure to hold each other accountable. Everyone have a fantastic holiday, fantastic New Year's.
We'll see you in 2025.

Speaker 3 Oh, no. No, no, no.
No, probably not.

Speaker 3 Take me, Patty.

Speaker 19 Leave it at that.

Speaker 3 Boy, would that be awesome? Leave it at.

Speaker 18 Yeah, wake me up.

Speaker 3 I guess.

Speaker 17 Wake me up before September ends.

Speaker 16 We'll see you in 2024. Bye.

Speaker 18 Pot Save America is a crooked media production.

Speaker 16 Our producers are Olivia Martinez and David Toledo. Our associate producer is Farah Safari.
Writing support from Hallie Kiefer. Reed Cherlin is our executive producer.

Speaker 16 The show is mixed and edited by Andrew Chadwick. Jordan Cantor is our sound engineer with audio support from Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis.
Madeleine Herringer is our head of news and programming.

Speaker 16 Matt DeGroote is our head of production. Andy Taft is our executive assistant.
Thanks to our digital team, Elijah Cohn, Haley Jones, Mia Kelman, David Toles, Kirill Pelavieve, and Molly LaBelle.

Speaker 16 Subscribe to Pod Save America on YouTube to catch full episodes and extra video content. Find us at youtube.com/slash at PodSave America.

Speaker 16 Finally, you can join our Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and a great discussion on Discord.

Speaker 16 Plus, it's a great way to get involved with Vod Save America. Sign up at crooked.com/slash friends.

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