Governor Jon Favreau? (Subscription Show Preview)

Hey there! You are about to listen to an outstanding episode of Terminally Online, the show where we're joined by Crooked hosts and staffers to share the things we've seen on the internet that made us realize we need to go outside and touch some grass. Some have called Terminally Online the loosest show at Crooked, and they're right! It's chaos! We have so much fun making it every week, and we hope you'll love it too.
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I'm Elijah Coe. I'm Jon Favreau.
I'm Dan Pfeiffer. And I'm Priyanka Arabindi.
I co-host Whataday. Thank you all for having me here today.
This is so exciting. Thanks for joining us.
Great to have you, Priyanka. Been overdue.
Yeah, I know. Very, very.
This is a chance for us to commiserate about being way too online as we make the shows here at Crooked Media and cover the news. Let's just kick things off right away with some audience Q&As.
Dan and John, Jared wants to know, what is the most frustrating narrative you had to deal with when you were in the White House? Oh, what a question. It's a good one.
Dan? That if Barack Obama played more golf with racist Republicans, more would get done. More golf is a real one.
More everything. More dinners.
If he had a bourbon with Mitch McConnell, if he went to a tanning salon with John Boehner, any one of those things would play the part of us. Yeah, this is related to that one.
But just the whole idea that Obama was too aloof, too aloof. It's like, I don't know a more personable, charismatic politician than the guy who was too aloof.
And the argument for why he was too aloof is because he didn't like the typical Washington bullshit that you do when you are a president or politician in Washington, which is like, go to cocktail parties and schmooze and all this other stuff.

That was that was evidence that he was too aloof when in reality he just thought it was fucking stupid.

Too aloof to go to Cafe Milano with several ambassadors and some fundraisers.

Right, exactly.

We have a follow up to that question.

Do you have a favorite political or media narrative that's happening right now? Just one that you particularly enjoy? Like legitimately enjoy or hate watch? For me, I just Ron DeSantis is being unlikable and it being like a feedback cycle of unlikableness. And then another story about it is something I particularly enjoy.
I'm enjoying like Donald Trump just continually incriminating himself just in public coming up with new excuses that are probably only be used against him at trial. I think that's kind of fun.
Yeah, I think I probably with Elijah that I very much enjoy just the Ron DeSantis clowning himself every time he goes up there. It's it's it's pretty perfect.
Oh, I also genuinely enjoy Chris Christie kicking the shit out of Donald Trump. Just get back on the Lincoln Project YouTube page over there.
Yes, yeah, no, I enjoy it because I think he's a hero who should be that president. Yeah.
Look, you like Donald Trump. You want to defend Donald Trump.
I understand that. You don't want him to get a lot of criticism.
So that's fine. But I think that people should criticize.
You know, I want credible criticism. I was served a Chris Christie tick tock, like not from an official Chris Christie account, but like something trying to make him like doing this look cool.
And I was like, wow, what have I done on the Internet that they think I need this content made me question a lot of things. But it is.
Priyanka, that is the best evidence yet that the Chinese government is in control. It's in there with all the other outfits of the day that I'm normally served.
All right, that'll wrap up our audience Q&As for the week. Let's go ahead and jump in to the terminally online segment here.
Dan, when did you realize that you were terminally online this week? I think it was yesterday, I guess. Yeah, it was probably yesterday.
Unlike John, I really still use my phone and I'm very proud of it. And I was scrolling through Twitter and I stumbled on somehow, I'm not even sure how I found it, but it was a old Ron DeSantis tweet from 2015.
Wow. Already.
In honor of Casey DeSantis' birthday, which was also this week because he was doing a bunch of really cheesy, terrible, promoted tweet fundraising ads on Twitter for his wife's birthday. Because if you really, there was even one that was something like Casey's birthday is only has six

more hours left than we have not yet hit our petition.

Oh God.

Yeah.

Which is a sign of true love is hitting your petition goal.

And I stumbled on this picture.

It is a picture of run to Santas and Casey the Santas in front of a green screen beach, it appears. Yep, definitely green screen.
He is wearing an ill-fitting short sleeve blue button down that makes him look a little bit like Detective Sipowicz in NYPD blog. And the text on this footage says, Casey DeSantis, colon, a man of integrity and honor.
It does look like they are modeling clothes for TJ Maxx. Like I think it's very, it's just, they look like it's really, it's wild.
I mean, there was so much here. It's just an odd choice.
They don't look human. They look quite Photoshopped.
He at the time was running for Senate in Florida, I believe. And so it seems like if you were running for office in Florida, you could find a beach to use.
A real beach? A real beach, not the green screen at your local Sears, which is where I think this was taken. And then somehow they allowed there to be printed on this photo, Casey DeSantis, a man of integrity and honor.
Now in defense of the 2015 era, Ron DeSantis social team above this in the tweet was a quote from Casey DeSantis calling Ron DeSantis a man of integrity and honor, but that does not translate to the picture, which seems to imply that Casey DeSantis is a man of integrity and honor. I mean, also, but even, forget the picture for a second.
Ron DeSantis just tweeting a picture, tweeting a quote that was an endorsement from his own wife about him is fucking weird. It's wild.
I'm just gonna tweet a quote from Emily. John F Jon Favreau is the best I love Jon he's great he's so smart my wife she would never say that I know that's why I would have to make it up and tweet it reminds me of Chris Pratt and when his wife had to be like you know when everyone was like saying Chris Pratt was the worst of all the Hollywood Chris's and his wife had to be like, he's this great guy.
And it was like, why would you ever think that this was the appropriate response? That is what it made me think of. I also saw that photo with zero context and was like, I'm perplexed because Casey DeSantis, to my knowledge, is not a man.
But I too was not, once again, not inspired to do any further research. I was like, no, I'm leaving this here.
They obviously did this at a photo studio with a green screen. Like, what was the backup choice? Was it the two of them in old timey Western clothes in a black and white photo? Like, what was going to happen here? It was that or fucking Cinderella's Castle at Disney.
Oh, another option. That was it where they got married.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you guys think of the DeSantis campaign strategy to just be like, you know, who people

don't hate is Ron's wife.

You know, you hate him.

But what about his wife?

Is that a winning strategy?

I mean, I don't know if it's a winning strategy.

It's probably a better strategy than using him all the time.

Like every once in a while when you have a candidate who is not connecting with voters

the way you want, what you do is you go out and get friends from their life and send them out to knock on doors. John Kerry famous, very famously had a lot of his Vietnam vet friends who would go door to door in Iowa, New Hampshire, et cetera.
But what do you do if the candidate has no friends? You make them a wife guy, bring out the wife. Ron DeSantis, famous wife guy.
That was brutal. I think the going from the fundraising in present day back to 2015 puts you in at least the hospital at four for hell on life.
Yeah, I would say that. Can I just say one thing that I've been wanting to say for a long time about Ron DeSantis' Disney wedding? Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, boy.
So I was at Disneyland with my family for my son Jack's second birthday, and we were staying at a hotel and there was a Disney wedding taking place on the property. Oh, boy.
So we watched from the balcony. And what we saw was the bride arrive in a giant horse-drawn Cinderella's carriage.
So what I need to know... Is there a picture of Casey DeSantis? And they left, and then the bride and groom left in said Cinderella carriage.
Wow, we need it. I also think it would have sort of double the impact, right, if we get this picture.
Because on one hand, most of America will think they look like buffoons and they will be correct. But the people who are with Ron DeSantis, who know that he has taken on the woke scolds at Disney, they will not be happy to see pictures of Ron DeSantis and Casey DeSantis having a Disney wedding.
It's the ultimate lose-lose. Yes.
America will accept hypocrisy and they will accept buffoonery from their politicians. They will not accept it.
Wow. That's for next week.
I hope someone can come back with that photo. I feel like if anyone could, it would be one of you two.
Yeah, these are Trump's tax returns. This is the 2024 version of it.
Do we agree that Dan is a four here? Do we want to put him all the way terminal? I'd say like three. Three, yeah, I think that's a three.
I think that's a three. Okay, just go to the doctor.
John, what was the moment you realized that you were too online this week? All right. Here's where I realized I was too online.
A couple days ago, someone at Crooked, I can't remember who, posted a video in the Slack from Twitter, where Roseanne Barr says that Donald Trump was the first woman president. There's no explanation for why.
There's no context you're missing there. She just said that.
So later on, I went back to look for the clip and found out, first of all, that it was actually an old clip from 2020. Then I noticed that two of Twitter's top trending topics were Roseanne and Holocaust.
Anytime Holocaust is a trending topic on Twitter, it's not good.

It's not good.

And that's when I discovered that a bunch of popular resistance accounts, your John

Coopers, your Krasensteins, had tweeted a clip of Roseanne's recent appearance on comedian

Theo Vaughn's podcast, where she said the following.

And nobody died in the Holocaust either. That that's the truth yeah it should happen six million jews should die right now because they cause all the problems in the world but it never happened but it never happened as you can imagine these comments caused a stir they were widely condemned The Holocaust Museum Twitter account put out a statement

Anti-Defamation League put out a statement

But then Roseanne's son, Anne-Thio Vaughn

Again, this comedian who's the host of the podcast she went on

Said that it's obvious Roseanne was being sarcastic

And that the clip was taken completely out of context

So Vaughn tweeted a longer version of the clip

Here it is

Thank you. Roseanne was being sarcastic and that the clip was taken completely out of context.

So Vaughn tweeted a longer version of the clip. Here it is.
The truth is that Biden got 81 million votes by winning 36 counties. And that is just incredible.
It really, really is. And that of these 81 million supporters who gave him more votes than any president has ever gotten before, he came with a mandate.
You can't say that like, you know, there was election. The election was rigged.
Yeah, that's all a lie. The election was not rigged.
36 counties can give you 81 million votes. Right.
That's a fact. Because you're part Jewish,'s jewish i'm all jewish you're all jewish 100 and a lot of hollywood is jewish yeah it's like a it's like a lot of hollywood is a jewish business really well they started hollywood yeah right but so was it weird just like rap black people started yeah but you know and people should be glad that it's Jewish too because if Jews were not controlling Hollywood all you'd have was fucking fishing shows.
Yeah. Oh my God.
I wish you I wish people could see our faces the whole time that clip was playing. They literally disappeared from the frame.
I just want to ask you guys, do you think the context helped or hurt her case?

I think it definitely changed my Pulitzer vote for Theo Vaughn,

who doesn't seem to be really good at follow-up questions.

That is unreal.

I'm more confused.

I'm more confused than ever with that context. I don't think I want any more context ever again.

Well, so of course, this is when I was terminally online. I went deep into all the tweets about this.
And there's a lot of stories about this, a lot of headlines about this, not just the United States, but all over the world. As you can imagine, many headlines in Israel about this.
So here's the thing. If we're going to believe her that she was just being sarcastic about the Holocaust, which is again, something you always want to be sarcastic about.
You always want to tell a lot of jokes about the Holocaust. That usually is a good thing.
Then she was also being sarcastic, of course, about the fact that Joe Biden did win the election and was just spouting a bunch of nonsense about Joe Biden in the election, which, of course, she was. He did not win 36 counties.
He won many more counties than that. And also, you don't get 81 million people out of 36 counties, you fucking idiot.
The 81 million people is all the people all across the country. Not just the...
You don't just get the votes of the people in the counties you win in, you dumb fuck. I'm sad that most people will only, like most of our content, will only hear this and not see it.
So they will miss the fact that during this interview, Roseanne Barr is both smoking a cigarette and drinking some substance out of a pink toddler sippy cup. Yes, what was that? What was that? I was very distracted by that throughout the whole experience.
The beginning, it was kind of giving Elon Musk on Joe Rogan. I was like, what's happening here? And then very quickly, it becomes a sippy cup.
It's all very confusing. And then she goes from the election denial to the Holocaust joke and air quotes here, and then just seamlessly goes into Jews control Hollywood, something about fishing movies, and then black people and hip hop.
I mean, it was wild. It was really bad.
So I saw this organically as well. I saw both the Roseanne Barr video where she says Donald Trump was the first woman president.
I went down that same wormhole and then ended up with this video. And I was like, OK, as a Jewish person, I'm very offended by this.
I went and watched and was like, okay, I guess I can see how she's joking. I hadn't seen like this whole clip though.
And just like this, I mean, and I'll tell you, I watched way too much of that whole interview because I was trying to find the part. Cause I didn't see the Theo Vaughn clip of the whole context.
First, I was just looking at the full interview and I was trying to find the right part of it. There's a lot of other crazy shit in there, let me tell you.
And it was a big waste of my time. Yeah.
You know, I do it all for the show. So five.
Did you do it for the show because you knew you had to have something here or you were in the middle of going down the rabbit hole and realized it could also be used for the show? I would say as soon as I went from the Trump is the

first woman president clip to

first seeing her talk

about the Holocaust, I was like, oh,

that could be a terminally aligned thing. But then

I'd started doing my research because I do my own research.

Of course, that's what you're supposed to do. As you do,

Kyrie Irving. And then I went out

and then I really went down the rabbit hole to just try to

figure out like, is it a joke?

Is it not a joke? What's going on? And so

that's when I had to watch the whole thing. I

agree with the ranking on you, which is not

Thank you. Then I really went down the rabbit hole to just try to figure out, like, is it a joke? Is it not a joke?

What's going on? And so that's when I had to watch the whole thing. I agree with the ranking on you, which is not great.
But I would say on one hand, I'm a zero because I didn't even see this in Slack. So I missed the whole thing.
I am living in blissful ignorance of Roseanne Barr's comments, this Theophon person, any of that. I'm also a five because I knew

that in 2020, Roseanne Barr said

that Donald Trump was the first woman president.

Oh, you did know that.

Okay.

I did know that, yeah.

That's cool.

That's cool.

So yeah, John, definitely terminal.

I'm terminal?

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Am I supposed to be rating myself for that?

Because I also am kind of in dance camp.

Like this did not even cross my radar. And if it had, I would not, I would have been the opposite of inspired to go do my own research.
I would have been like, I don't want to touch that with a 15 foot pole fully the other direction. But yeah, I'm sorry, John, there's no coming back from that.
Nice. That's what I was hoping for.
Yeah. This one does fit on just something you guys talk about on Pod Save America all the time.
It's just polarization is a real thing. Theo Vaughn is incredibly popular comedian.
I see his clips pop up on my algorithm every now and then. And there's a lot of people who are just sitting there nodding along, just being like, yep, preach it.
Yeah, I'd never heard of him before this. You see him on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram.
Where do you where do you encounter Mr. Vaughn? TikTok.
And it always has, you know, it always has like a video game under it. Yes.
Yes. That's how they keep you watching like the things that can become a little boring or like start to not make sense as they like have half and half of a screen.
And and it's like whatever Candy Crush and not Candy Crush. It's like Temple Run, like some kind of video game like that subway just like what yes exactly it's very weird yeah so i feel like we're all terminal for this we're all just revealing we're very terminal for this so thanks for bringing all the worst of us john that's what i'm here for that's what i'm here for uh priyanka when were you terminally online this week yeah listen after the last 20 minutes i don't I don't know if I'm here for.
That's what I'm here for. Priyanka, when were you terminally online this week?

Yeah, listen, after the last 20 minutes, I don't know if I'm calling myself terminally anymore. I think my time online has changed very drastically over the last few years.
So terminally online, but in a different way. But for the purposes of the show, I feel like maybe the past day or two, when all the Barbie marketing has kind of coincided with this Oppenheimer marketing to become Barbenheimer.
It is now in the New York Times. So I feel like that probably brings me down to a zero.
I have never heard of this term. What? Never? Before I saw you put it in Slack today.
Never. Oh my God.
No. I've seen all the Barbie marketing and all the stories about the Barbie stuff.
I didn't know about the Oppenheimer thing. Okay.
But yeah, let's back up for a second. There's a Barbie movie coming out.
And on the same day that Barbie comes out, a movie called Oppenheimer about the atomic bomb comes out. And these movies could not be more different.
Thank you for explaining that. The movie about Barbie is different than the movie about the atomic bomb is what you're saying.
Yeah, it's much grimmer. It's much more grim.
Yeah. But apparently there are all these people who are prepping for the release day.
I think it's like July 21st. They're prepping for this release day and they're trying to do a double header and they're trying to decide like, which do I watch first? Which do I watch second? How do I do it? They're making t-shirts.
They're like doing, they're very committed to being fans of both, which I found fascinating. I too did not know anything about Oppenheimer until, until I was online and was like, what are all these people talking about? But yeah, apparently it is called Barbenheimer.
They're calling it or Boppenheimer. You're kind of pick here.
I have so many questions about this. What someone tell me the Venn diagram of people who are so excited about the Barbie film that they are preparing for it a month away, but also so excited about a film about the atomic bomb that they are also preparing for it a month in advance.
Can I help you here? Yeah. Yeah.
So one, the American theater experience is dying. People are looking for reasons to go to the theater.
Marvel comic book movies, which had been driving theater going are sort of falling before us. And so this, you have two movies from two of America's greatest directors, Greta Gerwig

on Barbie.

Yeah.

And Christopher Nolan on Oppenheimer.

Oh, it's a Christopher Nolan movie.

Okay.

Yeah.

And Christopher Nolan movies are event movies.

And do I seem interested in either of these?

No.

But you can sort of see how this becomes a thing for people to do who really like movies

and have been wanting non Marvel DC fair to come to

the movies and happens to come on the same day.

Do these people have jobs?

They work at Crooked.

A lot of them work at Crooked.

All of them are employed by you, actually.

Yeah.

You might as well just make July 21st some sort of day off or something because I wouldn't

do any pods that day.

Look, I want to see both movies. I mean, I don't know that I need to prepare right now.
It's only June 28th. But I do want to see both movies.
Well, people are preparing their schedule. They're trying to decide which tickets do I buy first, because I think there is one tweet that was like people who are doing Barbie first are crazy.
It's got to be like you have your coffee, you have your cigarette, you see Oppenheimer first, then you go to brunch, like decompress a little bit, and then you do Barbie, and then you have like a fun evening. So people are really kind of thinking about how to approach this doubleheader.
I also think now that it's such a thing online. Feature.
Double, double feature, I got to say. Double feature.
I found a shirt. There are shirts on Etsy.
They're like half and half. It's, yeah, there's a lot here.
There's a lot. There's some great online memes about this.
Yes. I presume none of these people have small children.
Probably not. Between the cost of a movie and the cost of a babysitter and the opportunity to spend what would add up to almost six hours without your children.
I'm not sure anyone with children would spend it. Yeah.
Before Charlie was born, I was talking to Ben Rhodes about having kids. And I was like i was like so what changes and he goes here's the biggest thing that will change you will never go to a movie again like for years he goes it's a very specific thing because should you get out of the house and find a babysitter at some point and you have a whole bunch of options, you will select dinner with friends,

parties.

The last thing you will select is

we will just go sit in a movie theater

with this one night

that we got off from parenting.

And he was right.

I've been in the movies

one time

since Kyla was born five years ago

and it was to see

DC Super Pets

with Kyla.

Yeah, we went to see

Clifford the Big Red Dog

with Charlie and he left after 20 minutes. I was going to say, I heard that was scary for kids.
He was over it. He wasn't scared.
He was just like, get me out of here. Because they don't sit still for longer than 20 minutes.
Oh, I thought I was bad. I'm not usually a regular moviegoer, but I did make it this year to see Megan.
So I guess I had something. I don't think you're very online, Priyanka.
I know. I don't think so either.
I'm very excited about the prospect of going to see this double feature just for the meme, just because it seems like such a unique experience. I just want to speak in defense of Priyanka here.
I think she is a little bit online for this. I think, Elijah, you are too online to make that judgment.
Most people in this country, if you ask them what fucking Barbenheimer is, they would not know. I would say 95% of people have no fucking idea what that is.
John, I appreciate that. I appreciate it.
But I know that this is kid stuff. But I know that I'm terminally online in very different ways.
I'm terminally online in that I have very, I don't know, I'm on the real real every day at 10 a.m. and 5 p.m.
when they upload their new things and I have all my saved search. I don't know.
I'm terminally online for shopping and not Twitter anymore, which I think is good for me, but it hasn't really solved the problem. I call that progress.
This is a very important point that relates to possibly the core flaw in this show is being really, really, really online about one thing does not mean that you are not online. If you're unfamiliar about being online with a narrow set of interests is not better than being online with a wide set of interests.
That is true. But we're in agreement that the Holocaust denial Jews in Hollywood.
That's a five. Yes.
If you watched a YouTube video of Roseanne Bard doing an interview with a MAGA comedian, that's a five. Yeah.
Yes. That's a five.
Yeah. John, your point is well taken.
I was with friends the other day. A friend asked if I wanted to go see Oppenheimer with him.
And I was like, I want to go see Barbenheimer. And he said, what are you fucking talking about? So, yeah, Priyanka, we'll put you to three.
Maybe go to a doctor because you didn't know that story inside and out. Cool.
Go ahead and wrap up with mine. It's different.
It's about other people being terminally online. It's not about something I saw.
It's a story that I've been wanting to tell for a while. John is a little bit more familiar with it.
It's about how a week or two ago, I went to the North Carolina GOP convention because they were having it here in my hometown and Donald Trump was speaking right after he'd been indicted. So I thought I'd go, you know, I just like the content.
I just want to see what happens. Is that a ticketed event? Did you go as media? Like, I'm so curious.
So I just rolled up, you know, I was just at a Sheraton here in Greensboro, North Carolina, drove over, walked in. I said, Hey, can I watch? And they said, yeah, there's an overflow room for uncredentialed people.
So I went in there and I was just sitting there with a bunch of Republicans. There was a guy sitting in front of me with what I would describe as like a MAGA Hawaiian shirt.
The woman sitting next to me had a bunch of like Jesus X Trump gear on, you know, crossover. There's some guys in suits who were clearly party officials.
And so I was just kind of watching it. And shortly after I got there, the convention had their election for the state party chair.
And the incumbent got up there. He made a speech about how awesome he was and how much he'd accomplished.
And then the challenger got up there. And it was clear that he was running to the right of the incumbent.
And he was focused 100% on elections. This is where things start to get online.
The line that stuck out to me in this challenger speech was, much like Bud Light has tainted their brand by endorsing extreme LGTBQ positions, the NCGOP's brand is tainted by their stance on elections. We don't even use paper ballots.
So I thought that was quite some rhetorical flair there. And then they moved on to to the voting for this position and this is where things started to go off the rails is because they used an app to do their voting for this shadow position yeah shadow up god electronic ballots and the app malfunctioned of course it did oh god and the room turned on itself like crazy.
They were like fighting. You know, some woman, she interrupted and she said that she was appalled and she felt like she was in a third world leftist country.
People were demanding to nullify the votes. In the room I was in, people were trying to, you know, get on the app and like vote themselves to prove that it was like corrupt, that it didn't work.

And this went on for hours and it was so tense.

People were fighting around me.

And in the end, you know, they said that the incumbent won, but the challenger refused

to concede.

And he said that this is a disgrace and that it was, this is the new Maricopa County. Which by itself is quite an online thing to say.
Yes, exactly. And they didn't get through everything they needed to get through.
They needed to vote on a new party platform. They needed to vote on a vice chair.
They just didn't do it because Trump was coming. And this broken election app took all their time and everyone was disgusted.
It was tense.

And they all like stormed out of the conventional to get dinner.

And I was like, wow, this was quite something to see.

And I guess what I was most struck by was how every accusation was a conviction and

how this party that had welcomed this kind of rhetoric into its platform just ate itself

in real time. It was wild to see.
So that is my term only online this week. Dominion strikes again.
Is that who made the app? I don't know. They should not say who made the app, but I don't think it was Dominion.
Did the ghost of Hugo Chavez come and did he grow up the app? Again, that's very online. That's very online conspiracy.
No, he did. Look, it worked its way in.
All the jokes that we have about it were right there in the room. Like playing out before your eyes.
That's like terminally online seeping into your offline life. That's so wild.
Rare. He has to be a zero, right? Yeah.
He told us a story about literally leaving the house. That's fair.
I get it. Like, I understand the instinct to knock off a off a point for that, but he's so aware of everything that's happened in the real world and also online to see the patterns in what happened in his offline life.
He's then thinking about online. So I don't know.
Your brain never left online. Yeah.
I understood every very online reference they made. When they said new Maricopa County, I was like, oh yeah, I get what you're talking about.
Yep. Yeah.
Unfortunately, we all get that. I just feel like however we score this, we should just recognize that we want to create an incentive structure for Elijah to leave the house.
Yeah. This is what I never know about this game.
Is a high score good? Like I came in today wanting to get a five. And I fucking got it.
Yeah, you got it. You what? Like there's been a couple of weeks in the past.
I felt a little embarrassed that I wasn't as online as everyone. Everyone's like, of course I saw that, whatever, you know? So I was like, you know what? This is my week.
Step up. I mean, the last time we did the show with you, you spent the first seven minutes talking about how little online you were and brought you about your screen time.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Twitter is not on the phone. Mazel tov.
Congratulations on your well-balanced life. That's right.
I just did an interview for offline and then I came into this studio to do terminally online. So there's a lot going on in my life right now.
Every day I just want to congratulate you for moving from an iPhone to an iPad. Okay.
It's not on the iPad. It's not on the iPad.
I feel like I deserve some credit here that my love of content made me go over to this event. I mean, like I put on a little disguise.
That's true. That's what inspired you.
Yeah, no. The VSA team's applauding you.
Yeah. I put on khakis and like a polo shirt for it.
So I would blend in better. Look, you did original reporting from Crooked Media, which does not happen often.
You are a roving correspondent. My one note is the next time you go to a Republican event like that, you should check in at the media table and say, Elijah Cohn, Crooked Media.
And they'll be like, yeah, I bet. Man, I was trying to hide it.
Like, I was really trying to hide it. I was like, I just want to watch.
Just a just here to watch just to the politics enjoy. Here to watch.
Yeah. I would love to be a fly on the wall, not just for your convention experience, but the experience of you like trying to get dressed and looking at your closet and being like, what will help me blend in the most with this crowd? I feel like that would be something I would enjoy.
I feel like I have a window into this because not to break down the fourth wall here, but we had a meeting that Elijah was in one hour ago and he was wearing a different t-shirt in that meeting. He was wearing a Budweiser t-shirt for that one.
But then he decided to dress up for this by putting on a circa 2017 Pod Save the World shirt. Yeah.
Free AirPods. These AirPods have wires in them.
Oh, wow. Yeah, a shirt so old that has wired AirPods on it.
You're lucky you didn't wear that woke Budweiser T-shirt to the North Carolina event. I mean, what a world where just like six months ago you would have chosen the Budweiser T-shirt as proof that you were a red-blooded American.
No Target, no Budweiser. No Chick-fil-A.
No Chick-fil-A. I mean, we're like six months away from not being able to wear your Donald Trump shirt to one of these things.
Or, you know, Ron DeSantis because he got married at Disney, you know? That's right. Fair enough.
Fair enough. I'm saying.
Look, the real reason I took off the shirt was because I have a meeting with our CEO and CFO that just got put on right after this, and they're not going to like the Budweiser shirt. I don't want to have to explain that one.
I think Lucinda would absolutely love that shirt. Yeah, maybe.
We'll never know. We'll never know.
So what's my rating? Where did we land? Zero or I don't get any credit here? Yeah, you get credit. I'm going to give you a two.
Yeah, that's fair. I go with that.
Okay. So I'm a two.
Deal with it at home. But at heart, you're like a five, just as a person.
Yeah, you should know that. You're still the most terminally online person.
Yes. Yes.
I don't want you to feel sad that you got a two this week. Thanks, guys.
In the best possible way. In the best possible way.
It's a compliment. I feel so fulfilled.
So I'm a two. I'll just deal with it at home.
Dan and Priyanka are threes. They just should go to a doctor, but it's not that serious.
And then, John, congratulations. The host of Offline is terminally online.
That was bleak. Don't tell Max.
I won't. He's so offline, he'll never know about this.
He will know, yeah. Well, we'll go ahead and wrap up the show here with an installment of the Advice Column, the best name segment at Crooked Media.
Oh, right. I forgot about this.
Oh, yeah. I didn't even know about this.
How fun. Dan knows when I name segments because it's Political Experts React or Advice Column.
No fun puns. No.
It's time to the YouTube algorithm. Yeah.
Stay Once, that's their name on Discord. Subscriber named to know I'm a licensed attorney in Utah and I'm eyeing politics as a future.
Given that I'm a liberal leading moderate in a state where I appear to be far left, would it be wiser to enter a traditional electoral race or apply for an upcoming judicial opening? And if you guys don't have an answer to that, just what office would you all run for and where? Wow. I'd maybe apply for that judicial opening.
No, I think unless they want to run in Salt Lake City. It really depends what city you live in.
Yeah, you want to run for, you want to be mayor of Salt Lake City? Maybe. I wouldn't be running for anything statewide in Utah, unless the last name is Romney.
I have to know more about the judicial hiring process in Utah to know, is that a government appointment? Is it magistrate judge sort of thing with the civil service? Who knows? But I agree with John that if you are living in a blue area, start local, right? Run for your school board, run for city council. There are blue areas.
I mean, up until quite recently, Utah had a Democratic congressman that could happen again. That's right.
Utah's weird. It's always a little bit more moderate.
So what offices will we run for and where? Dan is now waiting out Chris Coons to retire in Delaware because we got people running for Carper's seat, Lisa Blunt Rochester. We got now someone running for her seat whose name is Sarah McBride.
Sarah McBride, yep. There's only one more statewide Delawarean left there.
And that's Chris Coons. I would say Lisa Blunt Rochester and Sarah McBride are highly qualified, highly appealing, actual residents of Delaware, which makes sense.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
You guys have joked about this Dan running in Delaware so much that I think you're serious. I was wondering.
I was like, oh, are we, is that happening?

What's going on?

I don't know.

I like to keep stringing the audience along.

That's also, it's a little bit of psychological torture for my mom.

Who would like me to move home.

Dan has never said no.

I don't think I'd want to run for Congress.

I think I'd want to, like, if there was one office to run for, it'd be like governor.

Oh, interesting. Why is that? What's your logic? If you're a governor, you can get like get a lot of shit done.
If I was younger, maybe, right? Like if you were going to live your whole life in Congress and just kind of go up through the ranks. Yeah, that's one thing.
But I don't know. I think it'd be more fun to be a governor somewhere.
Any state? California is kind of a big one. Hawaii.
Well, that's the other thing is, no, you need a state. Well, you don't.
I do. Need a state with a capital that would be a good place to live, right? Because some state capitals are the biggest city and that's great.
But like, you know, it's like Gavin Newsom's living in Sacramento. How fun is Sacramento? Hey, we sell out shows in Sacramento.
Sacramento's great. I'm here to defend Sacramento.
Yeah, light the beam. You know what? I had one work trip to Sacramento that was just in the middle of the summer where I got a bad vibe, but I should go back with people who know Sacramento.
I bet I would have a great time. I feel like you've opened up a content door to Sacramento now and this won't be the last we've heard of it.
Yeah. Priyanka, where would you run? What would you run for? I don't know.
I honestly feel like, I don't know if you were like governor, I would be like, oh, cool. I'll come work in your office.
Like, I don't know if I feel like I want to be like the one making the big decisions. I hear you.
Let me just say you're hired. I like being on a team.
I think it's fun. I think I have good vibes.
I think that is like something I actually really would enjoy. That's probably what I would do.
Elijah, are you running in North Carolina? I think, yeah. You know, start a local North Carolina.
Love Greensboro. Love my city and my state.
But if I was going to be involved in politics outside of media, it'd definitely be like ambassadorship to like, you know, France or somewhere cool. Those are the best positions, appointed positions.
That's the one you want to go for. Those people, they are the ones who really got it figured out.
And then you just got to hope you're not like Gordon Sondland and get called to testify for some weird thing. I mean, a Gordon Sondland reference in 2023.
Speaking of terminally online. Or knowledgeable about his industry.
That was on the top of the dome, too, I will say. So that'll go ahead and wrap up Terminally Online this week.

Thank you all so much for your questions.

Thanks for listening.

And we'll see you all next week.

Bye, everyone.

Bye.

Thanks for listening to Terminally Online.

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