918. Andy & DJ CTI: Trump Claims Epstein Case Was a Democrat Hoax, Americans Rush To Join ICE & South Park Depicts Trump And JD Vance

Yeah, we were sleeping on the floor.

Now my jury box froze.

Fuck up bold, fuck up stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold.

That's a no.

Headshot case close.

Close.

What is up, guys?

It's Andy Prissela and this is the show for the realists.

Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

And welcome to motherfucking reality.

Guys, today

we have Andy and DJ cruise the motherfucking internet and that's what we're gonna do That's what CTI stands for It stands for cruise the internet We're gonna put topics on the screen.

We're gonna speculate on what's true and what's not true.

We're gonna laugh at all these dumbasses and then we're gonna talk about how we the people got to clean up their shit Anyway, don't be a hoe share the show.

All right, what's up, dude?

What's going on, man?

Just over here drinking my uh

my first form protein shake.

Mm-hmm.

The classic.

Yes.

A little drinking yourself.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Nothing tastes as good as my own self.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm into that.

I remember my first time trying some of you, though.

It wasn't bad.

Yeah.

It's an acquired taste.

Cherries and chocolate?

It's about right.

Sound a little gay.

Anyway, what's going on?

Dude, not much, man.

Not much.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a lot of fun.

What the fuck is going on with the rain?

Like, is it raining?

No.

I get the car out of the garage.

It rains for 45 seconds, and then it stops raining, and then the car's dirty.

That's happened every day this summer.

Yeah.

Oh, it is supposed to be raining right now.

Literally at 4 p.m., and that's it.

Yeah.

Huh.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

All right.

Got a.

Well, for those of you that don't know,

we are now.

Just tell them what we're doing because I'm not even sure what we're doing.

Yeah, no, that's cool.

We're doing a little trial run right now.

We're testing.

We got some, some, some people that are watching and listening to this right now as it's being recorded.

It's a very special.

Are we moving to a full live broadcast?

Yeah, eventually.

We're working through some stuff.

Yeah, we're working through some stuff.

You know, and just, you know, how's that going to work?

You're asking the wrong thing.

Because I'm for sure going to get put all over the internet for the shit that gets cut out of the show.

Cut it.

Got it.

Yeah, you know.

You guys think I say wild shit on the show.

Just wait until 8 o'clock at night, huh?

That's right.

All right.

Since all the chat's in there right now, let's go ahead and let's see how many of the OGs understand what the Clydesdale cartel is all about.

Clydesdale cartels.

That's it, they know.

Who knows what that is?

We'll be able to tell by what they type in there.

Clydesdale's cartels.

Yep.

Anyway, looks like none of them know.

So.

Oh, wait.

No hoe here.

Huh?

I guess

no more live chat ever again.

All right, that's it.

Yeah.

All right.

Oh, there we go.

Andy's looking sexy.

Oh, that's you yeah

that's you

one guy knows yeah

all right let's do this yeah let's do it man um so i wanted to bring something up before we get to our headlines this was uh it's actually like a little follow-up of the thumbs up that we had a few episodes ago um the annabelle doll yeah Okay, the whole house.

Matt Reif bought it.

Matt Reif just bought it.

Anti-woke comedian Matt Reif gets chilling warning after buying the world's most haunted doll, Annabelle.

So the comedian has been warned of impeding danger after he acquired the world's most haunted doll and announced his intentions to display the infamous item.

Rife stunned fans when he revealed he had purchased paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren's home in a cult museum in Monroe, Connecticut, subsequently becoming the legal guardian of the famed demonic doll.

So yeah, he put this.

There's a a video that came out

of him buying this.

Let's check this out.

Hey guys, super random but incredible announcement.

I have just bought the Ed and Lorraine Warrens home and a cult museum with my very good friend Elton Castay.

If you guys have ever seen any of the Conjuring films, the Annabelle films, or even Amityville horror,

This is the home that inspired all of those stories.

This might be the most important and prominent piece of paranormal history in the world.

Ed and Lorraine Warren are who took demonology and ghost hunting and paranormal investigation and made it mainstream.

Now, I know a lot of you guys don't know what any of this means whatsoever, but if you follow ghost stuff,

this is about as big as it gets.

So what does this all mean?

It means that Elton Castay and myself are the owners of the physical Ed and Lorraine Warren's home and occult museum.

We are the legal guardians and caretakers of all 750 haunted artifacts and items in the Warren Museum, including the Annabelle doll.

I must go on record and say we do not legally own the items, but we are the legal guardians and caretakers of the items for at least the next five years.

And what this means for you guys is you are going to soon be able to book a night or a weekend and stay at the Warren's house and investigate the house and the history of the house as well as the museum and all the artifacts inside of it.

This is the most random hobby ever, but it's so fucking cool, man.

I should probably collect stamps or something.

Might be a little safer.

But yeah, we own the house, and we are very excited for you guys to see it.

Stay tuned.

I'm in.

No.

Yes.

I'm in.

I'm going to DM Mariah.

I'm going to tell her to set it up.

Set it up.

Me, you, and Matt, and you do ghost adventures.

You and you.

And Matt.

And DJ.

black guy dies first somebody said fucking white people yeah

somebody said definitely a white people thing yeah yeah I'm out man why dude I love you bro but I'm doing it 100% I don't do that stuff man like that's just not my flavor man like I I want zero to do with that zero bro but that's because you're a pussy

That's why no one will remember your name.

Yeah, I wonder how much it costs, though.

What movie is that?

That's right.

Never seen it.

i figured because you watch like fucking goldilocks and other stupid ass shit that's not true the only good movie you've ever recommended is uh that movie that one i just watched yeah kingdom of heaven i don't recommend much that was a good that was good that was it was good yeah it was did you watch that yet

the kingdom of heaven yeah he loved it pretty good yeah he loved it yeah no dude i

dude this it would take a lot for me to get there bro yeah like me telling you we're going there

yeah

that's it yeah so not that much yeah dude i mean that's just i wonder how much he paid for i don't know uh i don't think it was disclosed like like what the the total cost of the deal was but it doesn't matter he's rich as he's got it yeah yeah he's doing all right bro he's killing it well he's about to do even better because he's about to do you have a number one coming tour i think i believe uh

in history really yeah over the last two years really

sold more tickets than anybody else ever That's crazy.

Yeah.

Well, he's fucking good, bro.

That's funny.

That's crazy.

Well, I think now, too, like with the spread of like social media, like a lot of it's easier for comics to get big right like i was watching this i sent you the reel that guy uh what's his name andrew dice

what do you mean yeah oh yeah he is kind of big he's less big though i'm less big but i'm i'm getting there yeah i can get bigger if you want no okay

i don't want to pay that food bill

no man but that uh that one and uh comedian i sent you who does andrew dice clay yeah yeah like he sold out the 80s dude bro that was good comedy i think no that's like one of the worst comics from the 80s Really, dude?

I fucking love that Hebrew, though.

Early Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor,

George Carlin.

No, Bernie Macs from the 90s.

Dave Chappelle.

Dave Chappelle in the 80s.

No, yeah, Dave Chappelle's like 2000s.

But yeah, dude.

Early Eddie Murphy, Raw, Delirious, George Carl.

That's some funny ass shit.

There's no filter.

Yeah, those are the guys.

Comedy needs to get back to that.

It is getting back to that, though.

Yeah.

For sure.

Yeah.

Like, people are being less like

vaginas about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I agree.

Yeah.

But yeah, sick, man.

Less vagicil.

You know what I'm saying?

I do know what you say.

There's a surplus these days.

There is a surplus of vagicil these days.

Yeah, back when comedy was good, racism was racism.

Racism is funny.

It is.

Yeah.

It is.

I agree, man.

But yeah, so I mean, shout out to Matt then.

I mean, the best jokes are racist jokes.

Everybody fucking knows it.

That's true.

Nobody wants to admit it.

It's the truth.

Which jokes do you laugh the hardest at?

The racist one.

But see, I have to think, though, dude.

Like, am I just messed up?

No.

Like, am I a messed up person?

No.

Because it's all the people around you that tell them when they, okay, what are your kind of jokes do your friends say when fucking nobody's around?

That's right.

That's right.

Yeah, that's right.

Hey, they go like this.

You know, you're going to hear a funny joke with a dude telling you it goes like this.

You got to look around first.

Yeah, man.

It's good times.

It is what it is, man.

But yeah, guys, remember, if you want to see any of these pictures, articles, links, videos, go to andyforsella.com.

You guys can find them all linked there for you.

With that being said, let's get into our cruise.

Headline number one.

Let's talk about it.

Headline number one reads.

FBI oust farming.

Oh, nope, see?

Behind the scenes are getting some DJ leads.

You wanted to do the live, bro.

You wanted to do the live.

Now people are going to find find the outside.

Why not close the chat now?

People are going to find the fuck out now, aren't they?

See, they think we're teasing.

I was not prepared.

Yeah, you better go fucking practice.

See, this don't make it to the cuts, guys.

This is special shit you guys are getting right now.

All right.

FBI oust former acting director, agent involved in J6 prosecutions with more expected.

So this just came down the pipeline today.

It has been at least three officials, including the former acting director and an officer involved in the January 6th investigations Fox News has learned.

So this guy, Brian Driscoll,

he was appointed early on during the early trans yeah first I don't trust anybody with that type of mustache.

First of all, what kind of facial hair abomination is that?

Bro.

That's like I can't decide between a mustache and a goatee.

But I'm not good enough for either.

Yeah, and then you know what I went with?

I went ahead and watched Pirates of the the Caribbean, and I, you know, did some sort of hybrid.

Bro, this guy looks like he made 300 grand over the last 10 years on Craigslist.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

He looks like he uses the missed encounters.

You know what I'm saying?

I saw you in the grocery store.

You had a wonderful beard.

That's right.

It was braided.

Let me know.

He looks like you walk up to you and be like, let me paint you.

He looks like he'd be the guy that would check your prostate.

The chat is asking, does his last name end in stain?

I don't get it.

Me neither.

What does that mean?

I don't get it.

I don't get it either.

It sounds anti-Semitic, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on, man.

Yeah.

Behave, guys.

He said, check your prostate with both hands on your shoulders.

That's a fucking fact, bro.

This is like cruise the comments on steroids.

Motherfucker, you got to turn the chat off.

We got to do the show.

Block it out so I can't see it.

I'm not going to be able to do the show.

Dude, he does check it that way.

Wrong answers only, man.

That's what we need right here.

All right, so let's hear what this guy did.

So this guy, Brian.

Dr.

fucking wiener.

Hey, Doc, where I put my pants right over the next to mine.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Yeah, so this guy,

he's out.

He's being forced out of the bureau.

Sources familiar with the matter told Fox News along with Walter Giordina,

special agent at the Bureau who played a role in the investigation of Trump trade advisor Peter Navarro and Stephen Jensen, the acting director in charge of the Washington field office.

And so, yes, these guys are out.

Apparently, there's more coming.

We'll see what happens with that.

But one individual,

they're saying that they're trying to call this like retribution is what they're calling it.

That's the name, the word going around the circles.

That's called consequences.

Yeah.

That's right.

But yeah, so, I mean, that's going.

That's cool.

But we got to cover something, man.

I think this is important.

It's been a couple of episodes, too.

Let's dive into some of the Epstein updates in case anything has changed.

Because,

dude, Trump keeps doubling down, man.

And I don't get it.

And there's some weird things happening.

So you have this video come out.

This video here.

Check this clip out, guys.

It's very good.

Is Vice President Matt's hosting a gathering this evening to talk about how to respond to the Epstein situation?

Is he working on what?

Is he hosting some kind of gathering of top advisors this evening to talk about how to respond to the Epstein situation?

I don't know.

I could ask you that question.

I don't know of it, but I think

here's the man, right?

I saw a reporter today, and it's completely fake news.

We're not meeting to talk about the Epstein situation, and I think the reporter who reported it needs to get better sources.

On that book, look, the whole thing is a hoax.

It's put out by the Democrats because we've had the most successful six months in the history of our country, and that's just a way of trying to divert attention to something that's total bullshit.

Okay?

On that subject.

Okay.

So that happens, okay?

And then and then these reports start coming out that Ghalay Maxwell told the DOJ that she never saw Trump do anything concerning.

All right.

Now, I have an interesting theory on this.

I really would like your input.

But could this all be to get to this point where, you know, because we talked about the options on the table, Israel potentially leveraging the American people on this, right?

Or the other option of being Trump was actually involved.

And so is it, is she saying this just to, you know, now he's cleared?

Now does everything roll out?

Like, I mean, dude, I don't know what to make of this stuff, man.

You said you had a theory.

That was my theory.

The theory is you don't know?

The theory is, is that I don't know.

Like, was this guy involved?

I don't believe so.

I don't want to believe that, right?

And there's no evidence to suggest that he is, right?

But now all of a sudden, it's coming out that these reports of, you know, the interrogations that she had, that now she's saying Trump was never involved with anything concerning.

There was no concerning behaviors or criminal activity on Trump's part.

So now, you know, for everybody out there calling, you know, Don the pedo guy and all of that stuff, I mean, okay, that argument's null and void now.

Was that part of the agreement of this whole situation?

You know,

look,

here's the problem that Trump's facing.

You've got...

him, his son, everybody around him for years talking about Epstein, talking about releasing quote unquote the list, which I don't even think is the important part.

We all know the fucking list.

We have the flight logs.

Everybody knows who's been there and who hasn't.

That's all been public data for a long time.

The problem that Trump is facing with the public right now is that

they went from making this a huge deal to straight up saying it's a hoax, it's bullshit, which is

clearly not true because why would they be talking about it for all these years?

All right.

And then on top of it, if they had this shit on Trump, why didn't they release that part of it, you know, during the time where they could have really heard it?

They had the power.

Right.

But,

you know,

the more I look into this and the more I hear, the more it starts to confirm my original thought, which was he's trying to get people fucking pissed about it.

Because

when he looks at people and says, oh, it's bullshit after talking about it for years,

that's going to infuriate people.

It gets people to the point where they're demanding the list.

And now we have the liberal media who ignored the list for eight years

now talking about it nonstop.

Right.

Okay.

And Trump's a master of the media, bro.

He knows how to manipulate the media better than the media knows how to manipulate him.

So,

you know, and by the way, this isn't about,

there's very little evidence that is public.

Now, it could be that, you know, these people are satanic, baby-eating

fucking

aliens or lizard people, or whatever the fuck people say.

But

the

evidence that is available suggests that it is way more likely that this is just a

blackmail operation

between the agencies to control the narrative in society.

And it has more to do with people just doing weird shit than it has to do with like little bitty kids and shit.

And I think people are getting hung up on the list on the list on the list on the list.

Okay, they release the list.

What's that mean to you?

What's that mean?

We already have all the names.

You know what I mean?

So

my personal take on all of this is that

I believe that

we still don't know what's going on.

I believe there's a good possibility that there is a real threat against the American people

from

somebody.

I personally think it's Netanyahu,

to do some sort of false flag or something that prevents this from getting out.

And like I said

last show or two shows ago,

when these people start to, you know, let's say Trump says, okay, here's the operation.

This is what happened.

This is how they were doing it.

And he keeps saying innocent people get hurt.

Innocent people get hurt.

I actually think he's talking about the Jewish people that are not part of this problem.

Okay.

The innocent Jewish people.

And I think he understands that we're in such a social,

we're in a cultural place where so many people are upset with Israel and they're collectively generalizing all Jews into that, that it would be a dangerous thing to expose

Israel's guilt because of what would happen to the innocent Jewish people.

The more this goes on, the more that's how I'm starting to see

what I think is actually going on.

I think he's trying to be responsible, but I don't think he's making the right moves.

I think the right move, like I've said, is to fully disclose everything

and

let the chips fall where they may so that we can get the trust back.

The problem that,

and this is why I think that, by the way, because it would be easy for him to follow that statement up.

Like right now, what's he saying?

It's a hoax.

It's a hoax.

It's bullshit.

It's the liberal media.

Okay.

It would be very easy for him to squash the temperature down by just explaining that with another three or four sentences.

And with some actual evidence.

Well, dude, nobody can comp how.

Okay, explain to me how it's a Democrat op.

Yeah.

Explain that to me.

Right.

Okay.

Explain to me why you were talking about it for eight fucking years.

Explain to me why Junior talks about it all the time.

Explain to me why all the people that supported you talked about it the entire time.

Cash Patel, Dan Bongino, Vance,

explain it.

And dude, because he's not explaining it and because that's such a simple way to bring the temperature down, my only conclusion is that he wants the temperature to go up.

So.

Because if it was really a hoax, if it was really that, that would have been shown already.

Yeah,

he could have said, he could show it, be like, look, here's what they did.

They did this and this and this, and then they altered it like this, and they did these things, and this is why you shouldn't worry about it.

But he's not providing that level of transparency, which makes him look like he's either part of it, and he's certainly hiding something.

And if he's not part of it, then why is he doing it?

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

And then, is it possible that he's planning on holding the people for treason accountable and then moving on to them?

You know, like,

Or is it possible that he's just fucking part of their shit?

I don't think we know enough yet.

And I'm not somebody who just like, I know everybody likes to jump to conclusions.

Pick a side.

But and pick a side.

But like, bro, I'm a, you know, I try to evaluate and call balls and strikes.

And that comes from years and years and years of being in business.

I can't tell you how many times in business where things appear to be one way and then I assume that they were that way.

I end up losing.

You know what I mean?

It's just not the way I think.

Yeah.

Well, it also has to be unemotional, man.

Like, that's the, that's the piece of you, dude.

I see people all the time online are way too emotionally invested.

And I would say, like, there should be a, like,

there's a necessary.

You don't even know if those are real people.

Well, I mean, you know, that's a fair point, but like, there are plenty of people out there that are super emotionally

involved in this, man.

It's just like, dude, you got to remove the emotions from it.

Look at the actual facts.

Let the fact that.

I mean, look, dude, we get in a dangerous position

when we start

putting leadership on a pedestal to the point where they can never do wrong.

There's nothing wrong with being quote unquote loyal, but you should still be able to acknowledge that was not the best move.

That was not the right move.

This should have been done that way.

That's how you improve.

And you could still be loyal to someone and critique things that they did.

And, you know, unfortunately, the media and culture and this communist destabilization and demoralization that's been going on for the last 20, well, it's been going on for 100 years, but heavily the last 20 years roughly,

has created a scenario where people are this or that, right?

And they think it's left-right, gay, straight, Democrat, Republican,

black, white.

And it's none of those things, bro.

It's always been, and I've been saying this for fucking ever.

It's us,

the peasants, versus them, the elite.

people have to understand.

You know, another thing is, I don't think enough people, I don't think most people have never been around people like this.

Like, I've spent time around people like this.

What do you mean, as far as like the elite's mentality?

Yeah, like you, like, people have a hard time comprehending how,

because I think most people have good hearts.

I think most people look around and they say, you know what?

It is right to take care of my neighbor.

It is right to do the right thing.

It is right to be a good American.

It is right.

It is right.

It is right.

These people do not hold that same moral standard that the general population holds.

And until you hear them firsthand talk about

regular people, what they really think.

Yes.

Like

you can't understand.

They don't care.

They look at us like we are

a way to profit.

You know what I'm saying?

Indentured servitude, slavery, whatever you want to call it.

Like, yeah, we might not have someone standing over us saying, you know, like back in the,

you know, in the slavery days, saying, you better get out there and do this or this and this, or I'm going to whoop your ass.

But now they say it like this.

If you don't do this, we'll put you in fucking jail.

It's no different, bro.

It's no different.

And if you think it's different, don't pay your taxes for two years and see what the fuck happens.

Right.

That's right, dude.

Yeah,

it is crazy, man.

Like I said, so, I mean, he's not involved.

And this, again, is per Ghelaine Maxwell.

Was she told to say that?

Was she forced to say that?

I don't know.

We don't even know if that's true.

If it was actually said at all.

Yes.

We don't know.

That could be total bullshit.

Well, here's something else we don't know if it was actually said or not.

But apparently,

she started talking about

Bill Clinton.

And he's way heavier, heavily involved than I guess people thought or realized.

But apparently, like that also came out of

the interview that she had

with

the assistant attorney from the DOJ,

who, you know, Bill Clinton, he's always maintained that, you know, he was no more than an occasional acquaintance of the millionaire sex offender.

But Todd Blanche, the deputy attorney general, when he interviewed Maxwell, it allegedly came out that they were way more involved

than how Bill Clinton likes to make it out to be.

I mean, and we've seen the pictures, right?

You know, him getting the massage by a seemingly young-looking woman in what appears to be an airport.

All the airplane rides, not just on the Lolita Express, but

Epstein and Ghelane on his personal plane.

I mean, they were at Chelsea Clinton's wedding.

That's probably the more recent thing we have.

But even more than that, dude, the freaking picture of Bill Clinton that Epstein had on the island, bro, of him in a blue dress with red heels.

You know what I'm saying?

Like,

that's a little bit more than just a personal, occasional acquaintance.

I mean, like, dude, that's some weird shit.

It doesn't prove anything.

Yeah.

Those are all speculations.

There's nothing.

We know so little about what's actually going on.

All we can do is speculate, which is the actual problem

with our country right now.

With the lack of transparency.

We do not have transparency.

And so we have to spend all this time

filtering through every single narrative to find out what is likely true.

and that's an intentional thing.

Because, just like when we talk about if you can't define a woman or you can't define a man, if you don't know what the truth is ever, what do you know?

You see what I'm saying?

So, we are intentionally confused by the propaganda of the media for control purposes.

So, we don't know any of this, man.

This is all

this is all

speculation.

We haven't seen any real proof of any of it.

And if Trump really wants to settle people's minds, then he needs to explain why it's bullshit.

Okay, like it's not enough for me to say, you know, like someone comes up and accuses me of something and be like, oh, that's fucking bullshit.

That's a hoax.

That's bullshit.

And then like, okay, then 100 people come and they say, well, no, that's not a hoax.

Blah, blah, blah.

No, that's bullshit.

It's a hoax.

Yeah, right.

After I was talking about it for eight years,

you know, that members of my cabinet were talking about it for eight years.

Listen, dude, do you think he doesn't know that?

Like, do you, there's only two options.

One,

he's intentionally getting people pissed off.

Or two, and this is a very real option, his ego is so big that he's used to be able, he's used to being able to control a room by saying, no, this is how the fuck it is.

Okay.

And he's been doing that in his whole life forever.

So he could be making a strategic mistake thinking that he can kind of bully the room, only the room's everybody now.

Tens of millions.

That's what I'm saying.

But, like, dude, there's a lot of times where people in power will walk in a room when everybody's asked depends on that person.

And they'll say, the sky is green.

And everybody says, yeah, you know what?

It is kind of green.

It's green.

It's green.

Yeah, right.

Green, green, green.

So, you know, it could be that, too.

There's just a lot that it could be.

There is a lot, man.

I don't know, man.

Guys, let us know down in the comments

what you guys think.

So let's check out the chat.

See what they think in the chat here, real quick.

Green dildo.

All right.

That's cool.

We'll go up a little bit on the topic, though, because I did see some good comments in there about this.

About this.

Let me find out who see who it was.

Yeah, the only Jordan Guthery, Guthery, sorry, uh, the only thing I could think of is someone, either the United States population or his family's being, are threatened.

Mr.

Sensitive Yahoo is mostly like most likely trying to fuck the world with nukes at the moment.

I don't think it's his family.

Yeah.

When you go to sign up for presidency, you know that it's your family's part of the risk.

Yeah.

Yeah, you accept that.

I think if there's a threat, I think it is of a false flag or a terror cell activation or

some kind of shit like that.

I don't think it's like, hey, we're going to do something to your immediate family.

I mean, he's been under threat of that since the 80s.

You know what I mean?

Like, when you're that rich, bro, you got to have securities to make sure people don't kidnap your kids.

Yeah.

You know, so.

Which he's had for a long time.

That's right.

A long time.

So I agree.

It has to be bigger than just family, for sure.

Yeah, man.

But guys, let us know down in the comments what you guys think.

Well, it has to be big big because think about how he handles these people.

Okay.

What'd he do to the dude from Iran when the Iran guy was mouthing off?

Oh, yeah, he's in the fucking fucking drones.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, Trump, don't fuck around, bro.

So, like, but he can't drone Netanyahu,

right?

And

if Netanyahu is threatening him and he keeps saying, it's bullshit, it's bullshit.

You got to look at it like this.

You got two guys

they have a disagreement okay

and let's say one of the guys has real leverage let's say netanyahu has real leverage which it appears that he does in some way shape or form

and you have trump

who

has to lead and has to keep people safe

And then you have a situation where Netanyahu says, if this happens, then this will happen.

And this being a whole bunch of people will die.

Americans.

Americans.

Trump says, Cool, I'll do this.

I'll do this for you.

I got you.

All right.

And he says, Hey, guys, it's bullshit.

It's a hoax.

Okay.

And then he looks at Netanyahu and he says,

I'm telling them it's bullshit, bro.

They're not buying it.

Yeah.

What are you wanting me to do?

Right.

It could be that too.

Well, dude, I saw this and somebody just said in the comments too, but could this possibly be tied into the Iron Dome thing of like why Trump's pushing so hard to get an Iron Dome here?

Maybe.

I mean, is that Samson option shit, man?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Maybe.

I don't know, man.

I mean, look, dude, that's a real thing.

The Samson option is a real thing.

It's an official Israeli policy that if Israel were to fall, they were to nuke

a bunch of other countries.

It's what it's they say that.

Yeah.

So

if Nanyahu's saying, or if Trump says, well, if I release this and everybody knows and it goes as deep as people think or maybe even deeper,

because dude, you heard what Bongino said.

Bongino came out and said, bro, I looked at this shit.

It's way worse than I thought.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was like three, four days ago.

So

if that's the case,

then

who knows what they're threatening with,

right?

And how bad the backlash would really be.

like if they are really like sacrificing children and that's in the shit

bro israel will get wiped off the face of the fucking earth

and then a bunch of people will die because they'll launch all their shit so i mean most of the world right now hates israel yeah it's just what it is for sure and trump could be playing the responsibility card of saying well i don't want to start this other main huge thing you know what i mean yeah i don't know yeah man guys let us know down in the comments what you're doing.

What I don't like, though, here's what I don't like.

I don't like

how people who are loyal to Trump, quote unquote, are just now switching their tune and being like, it's bullshit.

Dude, come on, man.

I saw you talk about it for fucking five, six years.

Yeah.

What happened to that?

So just because Trump says it's bullshit,

now you back it up?

Like,

that's fucking.

Well, it could be they're all like, they they have to, like, because they all have to be on the same page here.

Well, a lot of these pro-Trump influencers, bro, are on the payroll, too.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Like,

they're saying what they're being told to say.

Yeah, you know, yeah, I don't know, man.

Yeah, guys, jump in on the conversation down to the comments.

Let us know what you guys think.

Uh, with that being said, let's go cruise some of our actual comments, not just the live chat.

We got some good ones here.

We're actually pulling a bunch of these actually from Spotify.

Got to show Spotify some love.

We started doing that.

I got a lot of people say

they're loving it.

Yeah.

They're loving it.

So, yeah, so we got some Spotify comments in here as well.

Let's check them out.

First one is from Swampaholics.

He says, I've been listening to this podcast for over five years and never been offended until Andy said natural deodorant stinks.

This was uncalled for.

Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

I mean, your name is Swampaholic.

I think that speaks for itself.

Not helping yourself there.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go get yourself some of that loomie.

Put it

for

your your feet pits and privates all your looms.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, all right

All right stinky

What is your deodorant of choice you're old spice guy?

No, no

speed stick speed stick huh, that's classic.

Yep, yeah, all right, okay

Next one, we got Alex Verdugo

He says, just wait until people start throwing butt plugs on the court.

Why would they do that?

I don't get it.

That's good.

That's probably good.

Bless your heart.

Yeah.

That's right.

All right, man.

Last one.

This is from 2G Stone.

This is probably my favorite comment of all time.

Okay.

2G Stone says, to answer the question on why there are no uncircumcised dildos, you have to look at Israel's elite.

The sex toy industry is a billion-dollar industry.

And what faith is known to have started circumcising?

Jewish faith.

Everyone wants to talk about Big Pharma or Big Tobacco, but no one wants to talk about the Big Dildo.

Coincidence?

I think not.

We just did a whole segment about Big Dildos.

Pretty sure we're the first one.

We're ahead of the curve, bro.

No pun intended.

No pun intended.

Yep.

There ain't no curve.

Ahead of the hook.

That's right.

All I'm saying is that's actually a pretty fair argument.

It is.

Yeah, man.

I love it, man.

You don't ever see none of them anteater dildos?

No, why not?

Why not?

That's my question.

I think 2G Stone's onto something.

2G Stone's onto something, man.

Yeah, man.

That's actually true.

Yeah, somebody said he's done his research.

Yeah.

Guys, we do appreciate you, though, man.

We appreciate you guys for being real-ass fans.

We dig into the real topics here on Real AF.

Why dildos or not?

Uncircumstances.

Uncircumstances.

Hey, I think

it's an important conversation to have, solving the world's problems.

But yeah, man, let's keep the cruise cruising.

Headline two.

Let's get into some deportation stuff, some ice stuff.

I think we might have a new job opportunity on top of podcasting and YouTubing.

All right.

Patriots want it.

DHS drops age cap.

80,000 Americans rush to join ICE and help clean up Biden's mess.

So the department.

Oh, yeah.

They're just hiring regular people?

Bro,

we have a shot.

What do you mean we have a shot?

We should go straight to the top.

Let's just do it.

Yeah.

Andy and DJ go to Home Depot.

Okay.

That's what they did.

That's what they did.

I didn't do that.

They did do that.

They did do that.

I got it.

All right.

Hell yeah, man.

But yeah, they're recruiting, man.

They're on an all-out recruiting message piece right now.

They're running a full court press with recruitment, and they're dropping the age requirement for immigration agents, opening the door for more Americans to help tackle the illegal immigration crisis.

In less than one week since DHS launched its recruitment program or campaign, More than 80,000 Americans applied to join ICE.

A Wednesday statement from the department's website read:

Now, Chrissy Noam announced that Immigration and Customs Enforcement is now waiving age limits for new applicants.

So even more patriots will qualify to join ICE in its mission to arrest murderers, pedophiles, gang members, rapists, and other criminal, illegal aliens from America's streets.

Now, they will still have to go through medical screening and drug screening and a complete physical fitness test.

But America needs you.

This is the actual website from ICE right now.

Signing bonus, 50 grand.

50 grand.

Student loan repayment, 60 grand.

Yep.

And you get a 25% pay raise, premium pay.

That's a fucking, I mean.

That's actually a pretty good deal.

You know,

it's pretty fun.

I think you have some.

I would rather them put the money towards this than sending it to Ukraine.

It's real.

Or Israel or anywhere else.

Yeah.

Fucking anywhere.

Make that like 200 grand and we'd solve the immigration problem in about a fucking week.

Bro.

Now, I wonder, I do have, I wonder if this is like a part-time or like a temporary,

you know, how like

some of the box stores hire additional workers during the hot seasons and you know, like FedEx and UPS and stuff.

This is like Black Friday.

Yeah.

Holiday travel.

Doorbuster deals.

Border Busters.

Border Busters, man.

That's fucking great.

Yeah, guys, sellers, are you guys trying to sign up for ICE, man?

Yeah, bro.

We got Border Buster deals.

Do I sell my company and go to work for ICE?

I mean, listen, again, if it's temporary, bro, I'm down.

I'm down.

Border Busters turn border busters into a show.

That bro would be sick.

That'd be every time we go to fucking Home Depot.

Well, so speaking of that, they're actually getting some heat right now

because they actually did go to a Home Depot

and they used a Pinski truck.

I think that's how you pronounce it, right?

Pinski?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They used a Pinski truck.

Now,

the Pinsky rebukes DHS after agents pop out of trucks during immigration raid, and they actually use that same truck to take them back.

The illegals that they caught.

I think it was somewhere, I saw numbers vary, like up to almost 60 people.

But yeah, transportation services company Pinske is calling the use of its rental trucks during a Department of Homeland Security operation in Los Angeles improper following a raid at an LA area Home Depot.

Pinski addressed the situation after federal agents were seen in their vehicles during the Wednesday incident that resulted in more than a dozen arrests.

Here's the clip: terrible marketing.

Yeah, well, I got something on that too.

But this is the clip that's going viral.

Everybody's seen it.

Check this out.

Hop him out.

I love the guy.

He's just got a cowboy hat on for insult.

Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah, that's just like insulting them.

Now,

this was their official statement from Pinske.

They say, quote, Pinske strictly prohibits the transportation of people in the cargo area of its vehicles under any circumstances.

The company was not made aware that its trucks would be used in today's operation and did not authorize this.

Pinskelson.

It's not either.

Nobody asked you.

We got to ask you how we're going to use your truck.

every motherfucker out here abuses the out of those trucks well it's funny you brought that up andy because you got to go back a little bit again and by the way that's terrible marketing yeah like you're missing an opportunity pinske could like put american flags on the side of the truck and put like one of those dukes of hazard horns and make a skit where they like drive up and all the dudes jump out and then everybody runs away and it would be like the most viral fucking marketing ever yeah pinski moves anything every

yes you know

American person that wanted to buy, to rent a truck would rent a fucking Penske truck.

They're going to pins it.

They got some politically correct dumb fuck in their HR department who's like, oh my God, how are we going to handle this situation?

We got to say something now.

And now it's like, dude, you're going to, people are going to say, I don't want Penske.

Yeah.

I want this.

Yeah.

Well, here's the funny thing, man, because, you know, you guys know how the internet is.

If I was Ryder, if I was Ryder Truck, I'd make a commercial like that right now.

That's what I would do.

U-Haul, they have an opportunity.

Right.

They're on the clock.

Yeah.

You know, but the funny thing about the internet, though, bro, is like nothing's deleted.

People remember everything.

And it's funny.

We got to go back a couple of years to 2021

when one of their trucks was actually used to bring in and smuggle illegal immigrants into the country.

So did they authorize that?

Was that authorized?

Yeah.

Right?

I mean, this is the actual post that, you know, you see the figures going through the x-ray machine.

I mean, they're in there.

And,

yeah,

was that authorized, Pinskey?

You know, was that authorized?

I mean, did they make a statement saying it wasn't authorized?

No statement.

Right, exactly.

No issue.

All this is, is, dude,

it's fear of being canceled.

It's fear of being American, which is

really fucking dumb.

It's interesting to see a lot of these companies not understand where we are in culture.

You know what I mean?

Or even people.

Well, to be fair, they never saw it.

Well, bro, I mean, I talked about this years ago on the show.

Like, culture is going to swing back.

It's going to become cool to be American.

We're there.

Like, the more American you could be, the more business you're going to do.

And Penske missed a tremendous opportunity here because they probably got some far-left dumbasses in their company making calls like this.

Yeah, no, it's stupid, dude.

It's absolutely stupid.

But yeah,

this is the picture when they put them all in there to take them back to the Penske.

Yeah.

We take out the trash.

Fuck, dude.

Well, I do want to ask you this, though, right?

Because this immigration thing,

it's a

for a lot of people can be a difficult conversation, right?

And I think.

Why?

Well, because, like, I mean, like, do we really.

Is it a difficult conversation to when someone carjacks somebody?

Hmm.

What do we say?

That's fucked up.

I I mean, do we say, like, oh, well, you know, they didn't have a car, so.

Yeah, right.

It's a law.

Yeah.

And the law exists for a reason.

See, I think, and we, and we also talked about this, dude.

We said this, that it would get to a point where the process or what's required to get these people out would be unpalatable.

It's not going to be palatable for a lot of people, right?

And so seeing Pinski trucks pull up to fucking Home Depots and hopping out with ICE agents and loading them up, like that's not a palatable image to a lot of of people.

I actually think that's pretty.

Is it necessary?

Is it what's required?

Because, I mean, here's the thing.

Like, we tried the self-deportation thing.

They're not going on their own.

Listen, dude.

There's 20 plus million people.

If they

deported

20 plus million people at the rate that they're doing now, it would take like 70 years to get rid of the people.

So the argument isn't, you know, are they doing what it needs to be way harsher and it needs to be way bigger.

It needs to be way more in your face.

There should be fucking camps of motherfuckers waiting to be deported out of this country to make a point that you don't come here or you end up there.

Very simple.

No, I agree.

Did you see this thing too that like Trump just ordered the Census Bureau to do another census, but he's intentionally leaving out the illegal migrants?

And dude, I I saw that.

I'm like, what would be the point of that?

Redistricting.

Well, not only that, but does he not want people to see the true numbers of how many illegals are in this country?

No, because they're using it to redraw the voter districts, the census.

So

that's about seats in the House.

So why not still count them, but just not count them?

You know what I'm saying?

They will.

They're going to know how many, but they got to remove them off the list.

If you have 10 rocks over here and you take out two, do you know the two are over here?

Right, right.

Okay.

All right.

I just saw saw him like, dude, that just didn't, it didn't make sense to me, man.

I just, I didn't understand that piece.

Yeah, let's see what chat's saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's correct.

20 million illegals equals an actual invasion.

It's actually one of the biggest invasions of human history.

Okay.

And if it were any other time in history, that's what it would be called.

It would be called a fucking invasion.

People have come here without their families, without their kids, without their wives.

They come here and leech our resources.

They fucking commit crimes.

And bro, there is a lot of good immigrants here.

Like I know some very good immigrants from Mexico who come here and work very fucking hard.

But unfortunately, now they have this situation where so many of these people have come that now it's ruined it.

for the people who have come here and contribute.

And I hate that.

I fucking hate it, bro.

But it's reality.

We cannot just say, okay, well, because there's 10% that are very productive in society, we can let 100% in.

That's not what can happen.

In fact, what we should have is some sort of sponsorship program where, like,

let's say a company or myself personally had people that worked for them that happened to be

illegal, technically.

I could say, no, I would like to sponsor this man and his family, 10 people, to stay here because they do this.

And I sign an affidavit and say, these are good people and vouch for them.

Yeah, bro.

And some sort of system like that could be helpful.

But, you know, apparently these people in Washington, D.C., they can't critically think.

So

there's ways to get around this.

But the truth of the matter is, dude, is

you know, there's, there's laws

and the laws have to be obeyed.

And that's that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, dude, I agree.

Dude, I like, Jordan.

You got some good shit to say, bro.

Let's bring you in.

Let's bring you up on the show.

Let's see.

Yo, Jordan, what's up, dude?

Hey, what's up, DJ?

What's going on, man?

You get your camera on if you want, or you don't have to.

It's up to you.

Yeah, sure.

Hold up.

One sec, brother.

I'm on.

I don't know if I'm on the.

I'm not sure

where I go go to do that.

Oh shit, my bad.

Yeah, I'm not seeing an option for video here.

Let's just do call.

Yeah, no, you're good.

You're good.

Talk to us, man.

What you got?

Man, honest.

Oh, my.

First off, this is fucking surreal.

Sorry for my language, but this is surreal, man.

Thank y'all so freaking much for everything y'all do.

Y'all literally changed my life.

I got, I've gained 40 pounds of muscle mass because of 75 hard.

I've started getting my shit together in my life and actually been trying to improve.

And I owe it all to y'all.

Like, I really cannot thank y'all enough for everything you have done for the community and for building this message of personal excellence.

You can't see it right now, but I'm rocking my American Freedom hat right now, currently.

But always got to have it with me.

Keep that thing on.

I mean, y'all are just absolutely killing it.

And I just cannot thank y'all enough.

And I'm low-key like, is this surreal or am I dreaming right now?

Well, you're about to be not dreaming if you don't tell us something cool.

well depends on what you're looking for brother i'm

just making some good comments man what's your thought on this immigration stuff man

so home depots or no

bro i was thinking throw a taco stand up at a home depot and just like let it rip and just see how that goes but yeah no honestly the whole thing with the immigration i don't think a lot of folks have a problem with immigration as a whole when people do it right and they follow the law and they actually do it effectively and efficiently, but when you have all these folks that we have no idea who they are, where they're coming from, what their history is about, and the fact that they're coming in and harming the American populace, that's a whole different story.

And it's quite literally, like I was saying, it's an invasion.

It really is an invasion.

And it just, it's sickening to me, y'all.

Like we have Americans that are struggling.

They are so willing to give at first before, you know, all this, this stuff changed, they were so willing to give all these folks money and give them reimbursements for loans and mortgages and cell phones and food stamps yet you got folks in like asheville or other places like that that are genuinely suffering and it's just like make it make sense how can you not take care of your population

yet be pandering to these other mofos

who go give two craps about whoever whoever's in office they just care about the fact that they're in the country and they can get our resources

i mean dude i think you're making some great points there bro

You know, you said, make it make sense.

Well, it does make sense if you recognize what's actually going on and that we're dealing with an intentional demoralization and destabilization of our country and

the intentional breeding of American culture out of

our country.

And so when we think about like, what's actually going on, you know, you can tie all this together, right?

Like we, the biggest problem that we keep doing, Jordan, is that we keep pretending like

these people are stupid or these people are ignorant.

No, they're neither of those.

They're fucking intentional and they're evil.

And they are removing American culture intentionally.

They

are

removing

any sort of national pride that we have.

They are removing national identity.

The part of funneling resources to them versus American citizens is about demoralization because most people don't know how to deal with that.

And

the play they're running has worked pretty well.

But if we want to stop it, we have to understand,

and this is us, this is the people that listen to this show and maybe a few other shows.

We have to push, and I have a feeling that Jordan pushes pretty hard, but we have to push collectively for accountability and for retribution.

That's what the country has to have.

It has to have transparency.

It has to have accountability.

And it has to have punishment for the crimes that have been committed against us for us to ever believe that they have our interests in mind.

And so.

You know, I think Jordan makes some awesome points.

I agree with him 100%.

And, you know, the culture of America is one of, if not the most unique culture ever, because yes, it does

involve many other cultures to come together to create a culture, the American culture.

But when that culture is no longer useful, it makes sense that they would try to destroy it.

And the only time that it becomes unuseful to them is when they realize that they can conduct wars and conduct operations through technology versus boots on the ground.

They don't need a bunch of badass 20-year-old Americans that are ripped and fucking high testosterone, whooping people's asses anymore.

For the love of their country.

That's right.

What they need is they need those people to get fat, lazy, stupid, and poor so that they're dependent.

And we can say, you know what?

We're going to join up with everybody else and become one big globalist society.

And it's unfortunate that people are not recognizing that that's the play that's going on.

You know, and

the counterbalance to that is personal excellence.

It is being fit.

It is working to be wealthy.

It is working to be accepting.

It is working to look above the artificial division that we're constantly entangled into.

And

I agree.

I don't think people have a problem with immigrants here, dude.

Like, there isn't this big

race problem here in this country.

Like, the race shit is manufactured, bro.

Like, yeah, there's, we could go online every single single day and find a video of a black guy doing something to a white guy.

We can go online every day and find a video of a white guy doing something to a black guy.

Maybe not quite as frequently.

Not as much.

But, but the truth of the matter is, is that we can find all these things and build them into the narrative that we want.

And the reality is, is most people are fucking cool.

And we got to fucking quit falling for their bullshit.

Whether it serves what we may think, like, bro, like, just real talk, okay?

And we're going to keep it real here.

As a white dude,

I've never really like thought about race.

Like I just haven't.

Like I have not really thought about it.

Now

that it's become such a an attack on white people, I'm starting to realize that if white people don't stand up for themselves, they will eventually get wiped the fuck out.

So now I'm being forced to say, well, hey, you guys are fucking with the white people.

And when white people say that shit, it's racist.

But everybody else can say the same shit.

And it's unfortunate that we have to get to that point because I do believe

that people should be judged on the content of their character, man.

And I don't believe that standing up for yourself equals racism towards other races.

Yeah.

So that's real, man.

That's real.

Yeah, bro.

Look, we got a big fucking problem here.

And to cure the problem, it's going to be ugly.

People got to be rounded up.

They got to be set the fuck out of here.

And if they want to to come back, they come back the right way.

It's very, very simple, man.

They want to separate it because we are weaker that way.

100%.

That's real, man.

That's real.

Dude,

the day that we all figure it out, the fucking day that black people and white people mainly figure out that they are Americans and we are being artificial.

Dude, those people up at the top are fucking done.

They're over.

They're done.

It only requires those two groups of people to get together.

If the black people and the white people get together, the people who are tyrants are fucking done.

They're done.

That's real, man.

That was Micah's quote, by the way, as you got yelled at.

There you go, Micah.

Guys, we do appreciate you, man.

Let us know.

Is that our Micah?

No, I don't think.

Micah, are you here, Micah?

No, that's not the same, Micah.

All right.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah, guys, let's hold down in the comments what you guys think.

With that being said, we got Keep the Cruise Cruising.

We got

headline number three.

Let's get into it.

We kind of hinted at this a little bit, but comedy making its way back.

Yeah.

South Park is making some noise right now.

They fucking got everybody.

What'd they do?

They got everybody.

South Park depicts Trump as Satan, JD Vance, Menager Troy, and Ice Raiding Heaven.

Christy Noam shooting dogs.

So South Park's going pretty viral right now.

Are you a South Park fan?

I've always been a South Park fan.

Bro, one time I was with Halsey.

So, dude, I had this little apartment back in college.

And, you know, I didn't smoke much weed back then.

I didn't really start smoking weed like on a regular basis till I was probably like,

I don't know, like late 30s.

Yeah.

You know, and

my buddy, Aaron Schubert,

who did smoke a lot of weed back then,

came over to hang out with us.

And he brought this weed, and it was like orange.

It was called mango.

It was mango something.

It was fucking orange.

And

so I forgot, like he, like the night before, we were all partying and shit and he left, he went home.

The next day, me and Scott were like at the house and bro, we fucking hung over, dude.

And we're like, let's...

Let's, neither one of us smoke much weed.

And we're like, let's smoke this shit Schubert left.

So

listen.

So this all comes together.

Okay.

So

we end up smoking like

we put we like put a bowl in and we smoke like half the bowl each, bro.

And like I was so fucking high, bro.

Like I didn't know what planet I was fucking on.

And then I couldn't leave the house because I was so fucked up.

So I went and we so Halsey disappears for like five minutes.

Oh, that's the worst.

No, and he comes back and he's like, look what I found.

I found a movie in your closet.

And it was South Park, the south park movie the first one yeah and it was still all wrapped up and i never watched it before and he's like let's watch this and i'm like all right so he throws it in the fucking dvd player you know what i'm saying and uh

bro i laughed so fucking hard i almost died like because i couldn't because i couldn't breathe I couldn't breathe.

It's the hardest I've ever laughed in my fucking life.

Oh man.

And I like, I could tell you, I've never laughed that hard.

Like, I remember it very specifically.

And so, ever since then, I've tried to stay away from South Park.

Really?

Yeah, but I smoke more weed.

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

You gotta balance it out.

Yeah, I did it because it's dangerous to watch South Park if you've been smoking.

You might die.

Yeah, you might die.

Yeah, no, dude, I've always been a South Park fan personally.

And I feel like they've always done a decent job at getting everybody equally.

Yeah.

You know, like they're, yeah, they're a little liberal for sure.

I think, you know, no, I think they listen, bro.

Comedy is the universal language of unity.

Okay.

Like, if you want society to get along, especially in America where everybody's fucking different, everybody comes from a different culture.

Everybody has their unique things about culture.

Part of appreciating culture is making fun of the culture.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, it is.

And.

You know, people with no sense of humor that are fat, ugly, and stupid and have no friends, they're going to get offended by shit like that.

Yeah.

But real people think it's fucking funny.

Well, I think too, like, bro, it's like, you know, it's a very, it's, it's a really great way of bringing light to sometimes some really dark fucking shit or stuff that's not as palatable.

Yeah.

Like bringing comedy to it helps.

Dave Chappelle was the greatest person in the history of race relations and he'll never get credit for it.

But and I'm not talking about his newest shit.

His newest shit is different.

But when he was doing Chappelle's show and he was doing this shit back then, dude, it was so, it was so funny because he went in on everyone.

And nobody said, yeah.

And like, that's what we need.

That is what we need.

That is what we need.

And it's been a minute south park.

Just does a good job of it.

That's why he's so popular, bro.

Yeah.

He makes fun of everybody, dude.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's been a minute since South Park has, I guess, been in the spotlight in that sense, but they're back in it.

And they got everybody.

So the episode is titled Got a Nut.

It features the school counselor, Mr.

Mackey, becoming an ICE agent after he loses his job due to budget cuts from the Department of Education.

After joining up, Mackie watches an orientation video in which Noam talks about shooting her dog, a reference to her previously omitting in a memoir to killing her 14-month-old dog for its aggressive behavior.

Here is the clip.

Let's check it out.

Welcome to the team, recruits.

I'm Christy Noam, head of Homeland Security.

She seems nice, okay, very pretty.

A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down by shooting it in the face.

Because sometimes doing what's important means doing what's hard.

Whoa, whoa!

Now we'll ask the same determination of you.

Because detaining and questioning people is never easy.

Oh, God!

As the face of Homeland Security, I'll be leading the way.

And together we'll make sure everyone is in this country legally.

So let's get out there and get them, recruits.

Together, we can make it happen.

So

there's that.

And that was a bunch.

And like I said, they got a lot of fun.

It is funny how they try to make Christy Noam look like a fucking model.

Like she's getting ready to run in and raid motherfuckers with her fucking hair all done and her makeup all done and shit ain't buying it yeah not buying it nobody's buying it not buying it it makes it a little more fun to watch though for sure yeah

for sure

but they got everybody got jd vance uh and he actually i like i'd actually rather watch holman

holman homan yeah i like him a lot i do too i like his little speeches put a little wig on him and some makeup and you'd have the liberals fucking all about the deportations bro bro you know what i'm saying he fucking comes out as trans That's what I'm saying.

What are they going to say?

See, if I'm in charge, this is the ninja move I'm pulling, bro.

Bro, put the suit.

Yeah, put the wig on, bro.

Put your fucking costume on so we can get these motherfuckers to tell on everybody.

You want them out or not?

It's a good strategy, bro.

You got to peek outside the box.

Yeah, you got to.

You know, you got to.

Yeah.

But yeah, JD Vance got it.

And what I'd like most about it, too, like,

you know,

sometimes when you're getting the shit poured on you, the best thing you can do is just go with it, laugh at it, laugh at yourself sometimes.

JD Vance finally did that.

So, this is one of the clips from the South Park episode.

And South Park posted this out saying, Welcome to Mar-a-Lago.

Hashtag South Park.

Vance, JD Vance said, Well, I finally made it.

Yeah, you're all like that.

It's cool.

Why do they always make his face look so?

I don't know.

I don't know.

What's a little candy dude?

It's not like he's fat.

No, why did he do that?

I don't know.

It's great, though.

It is great.

They got J.D.

Vance.

They got Charlie Kirk as well.

Oh, really?

Yeah, Charlie Kirk.

He's actually changed his profile picture.

Kirk did not.

Yeah, this is Kirk's page.

But this is,

they had Cartman beat Charlie Kirk in the episode.

Let's check this out.

Mom, you don't understand.

I'm getting really good at this.

I have my arguments down rock solid.

These young college girls are totally unprepared, so I can just destroy them and also edit out all the ones that actually argue back well.

It just feels so good.

I understand it feels good, but that doesn't mean you do it all the time.

I'm sorry, mommy.

And then that, you know, he does those debates on the college campuses, right?

So they have this.

Check this out.

Oh, my God.

What makes you think you have the right to say what I do with my body?

Let me ask you something.

If a pregnant woman is killed and the baby dies, too, why is the killer charged with a double habitat?

Well, but because people have different different beliefs.

It's not about belief.

It's about truth.

Science confirms life begins at conception.

Fucking spot on.

Charlie Kirk posted this out.

It says, not bad, Cartman.

Didn't Charlie Kirk,

isn't he mad at everybody right now?

Like, because they're all...

I saw something today.

Like, he's mad at everybody because

he was questioning Israel and all the people got mad at him or something.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean,

he gets a lot of shit for it.

For sure.

Yeah, but

he's very pro.

They can do no wrong.

It's not a genocide.

It's not, you know.

You know, dude, it's hard to tell what's going on there because fucking these people lie about everything.

Anyway,

yeah, that's funny.

That's great.

Tom Holman and a wig.

That would solve a lot of problems.

I think that's the...

Yeah, you put him out there like Rachel Levine.

And no, for real, bro.

And you'd have all the left.

They wouldn't know what to do.

Their minds would explode.

Bro, it would just be spontaneous explosion.

They wouldn't know what to do.

They'd have no idea.

Because if they fucking go against it, they're transphobic.

They're transphobic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But if they go with it, you know, two birds would have to be.

Here's the deal.

Motherfuckers don't belong here.

Go back to your own fucking country.

Come back the right way.

And if they allow you to, we'll throw you a motherfucking party.

We'll throw you a fucking fiesta away.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, fuck, bro.

Well, mother, the crazy thing is, like, the majority of these people, they're not even.

Would you show up to that fiesta.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

What are you going to bring to the fiesta?

Curry and tacos.

See?

Curry and tacos.

Z shines in, bro.

Trying to unite everybody.

Yeah.

International cuisine.

Fiesta.

What goes into an international fiesta buffet?

Pizza, french fries.

Tacos.

Tacos.

Chinese food.

Buttered chicken.

Stir-fried gerbils.

Meow, meow.

We should ask the the people to comment.

What?

Chitlins?

No, you know, like, you know, Chinese food?

Yeah, right.

Right, right.

What?

Meow.

What kind of food would you like to have today, DJ?

We should ask the people to comment.

No, DJ knows he won't say because he's being a pussy.

I won't say it.

See, now people are watching.

He doesn't want to say anything funny.

This is going to ruin the show because DJ is going to puss out.

I asked DJ if he wanted to have Chinese food today, and you know what he said back to me?

I want to have nigga food.

That's what he said.

And I said, Okay, what's that?

He said, That's pigs, feet, and chitlins, and watermelons.

That's right.

That's what he fucking told me.

Somebody said in the chat, DJ's died his chicken broth.

All right, chicken and watermelon.

Okay,

all right.

Hey, man, yeah, you know what?

It's not bad.

No, it's good shit.

I mean, to be honest, what's white people food?

Just mayonnaise.

No, it ain't.

Just mayonnaise.

I hate mayonnaise.

I do.

Dude, I don't eat mayonnaise on anything.

By itself?

I've never had it.

Fucking you bullshit.

Have you had it?

Yes, I've had.

Everybody's had fucking mayonnaise.

Not me.

I don't believe it.

Okay.

Matter of fact, I know for a fact you've had mayonnaise before.

When?

Where were we at?

Isn't mayonnaise and Caesar salad dressing?

Yes.

Okay, well, that's the only time.

You've had that.

I've seen you do it on a burger or two before.

Bullshit, you have.

I've never eaten a fucking burger in my life with fucking mayonnaise on it.

Ever.

I don't believe that.

I don't care what you believe.

I'm telling you.

We don't even have fucking mayonnaise at the house.

I believe that.

Yeah.

I believe that.

Bro, you've eaten mayonnaise before.

You're missing out, Andy.

Boiled dicks and raisins.

That's pretty funny.

Oh, shit, man.

Oh, this chat's, yeah, man.

Y'all crazy, man.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Boiled dicks.

Yep.

Yeah.

That's what the Epstein motherfucker's been eating.

Boiled baby dicks.

Yeah, fuck.

That's so nasty.

Yeah, well, they're fucking weird.

I was just talking to my buddy yesterday.

Hani and I were talking about this.

We were on the phone,

and we were talking about how fucking these people, they get money, then they get power, then they have to like find new weird shit to be into.

Yeah.

Dude, that's why Hillary Clinton dresses like an emperor, bro.

She thinks she's a fucking emperor.

She thinks she's the queen of the earth.

That's why they do those spirit dinners and all that weird shit.

And the Bohemian Grove shit.

Yeah, what about that?

That's

allegedly.

Allegedly.

You know, owls in the woods and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, guys, jumping on the conversation.

Let's know down in the comments what you guys think.

With that being said, we have our final segment of the show.

As always,

thumbs up or dumb as fuck.

Yeah.

So we bring a headline in.

We talk about it.

We vote on it.

It's one of those two options.

Let's just get into this.

Okay.

Okay.

Our thumbs up or dumb as fuck headline reads, I have ozimpic penis

it's

it's a new side effect that men aren't even telling their doctors but their wives are discussing it online ozimpic penis what is it oh you're let's find out let's find out is it good or bad i don't know yeah

what

i mean dude like the whole thing makes you makes you it might probably makes your wieners shrink.

Well,

let's see.

So

it's the miracle drug known to curb appetite, stimulate weight loss, and even help kick unhealthy addictions like smoking.

But some men have claimed that taking the GLP-1 injections, more commonly known by brand names including Ozimpic and Wagovi, have brought on another surprising and welcomed side effect.

Online, the phenomenon has been dubbed Ozimpic penis.

Frank, a 36-year-old man from New Mexico whose name has been changed to protect his privacy, weighed 286 pounds when he began taking the weight loss medication two years ago.

His doctor had prescribed the medication to help treat his diabetes and hyperthyroidism.

His starter dosage of Ozempic, a popular

injection, used to treat type 2.

There we go.

You said it.

I ain't going to say it.

You said it.

Used to treat type 2 diabetes came with its unusual reported side effects such as reduced hunger, improved energy, and the occasional acid reflux.

Six months into his weight loss journey, however, Frank began noticing a surprising physical difference in his body, one that no one had warned him about.

He was once again waking up with morning wood, something he lost back in 2020 due to complications with his diabetes, he told the Daily Mail.

And not only was Frank once again waking up in a state of arousal, but

his penis appeared to have grown by an inch.

inch.

Frank whipped out his iPhone and used it as a makeshift ruler.

Classic, right?

Who hasn't done that?

You know what I'm saying?

Who ain't done that?

The last time, quote, the last time I measured myself, I used my phone, which was an iPhone 7 Plus, he told the Daily Mail.

I was about 5.8 inches.

This time, with his larger iPhone 15 Pro Max, his member appeared to have lengthened to match the device, which is around 6.3 inches.

People didn't seem to believe me.

Is this the time where I talk?

All right, listen, you fat fuck.

The reason you think your penis got better is because you were so fucking fat that you couldn't fucking see the motherfucker.

Okay?

So this isn't Ozempic.

This is you just not being as fat.

Every dude knows this.

This is why dudes trim their pubes.

It adds an inch by cutting the fucking hair short.

That's right.

Okay.

Yeah.

And when you lose weight, it's an optical illusion.

Your fucking pubic area, you were so fucking fat

that the area around your dick was fat.

Oh, yeah.

And that's what the magic is.

This is not Ozempic.

This is you not being unhealthy.

And you waking up with a hard fucking boner is you

being less close to death.

Oh my God, I grew an inch.

I lost 80 pounds, but my dick grew an inch.

No, you just see it now.

Yes.

Bro, that's real shit.

That's real shit.

Yeah.

So, yeah, it doesn't.

And by the way, what is this?

Propaganda from the pharmaceutical company?

Oh, take Ozembic and it makes your fucking dick get bigger.

No,

losing weight makes your dick appear to be bigger.

It's always been the same size.

Yes.

Somebody on the chat said blood stopped going to the stomach to digest food and went somewhere else finding it.

That's fucking right.

That's right, bro.

That's right.

Getting blood flow to his stick for the first time in 35 years.

yeah yeah you also yes you also do lose muscle mass with the zempic if you don't keep your protein intake high uh or you know you're not using testosterone if you're a man that's true i'm trying there is a lot of other benefits allegedly to it though but i but it's hard to know because we fucking get lied to about all this

to it yeah so yeah like dude i don't you know whatever man

normally i just slammed mine in a car door to make it bigger

took the old connor McGregor method.

Bro, y'all got to be stopped, man.

What y'all doing?

Bro, listen, what's this guy's name?

Frank?

Frank, allegedly?

Frank.

You fat fuck.

Okay.

Okay, wait.

Can we critique the iPhone measurement tool?

I've never...

Well, you have the smaller iPhone, right?

Motherfucker, I'm Italian, bitch.

Bad jokes.

Yeah.

They can't stop.

That's not what I meant, man.

I wasn't even going there, bro.

Somebody in the chat said.

You ever seen the size of my arms and the size of my legs?

That's your protruding members.

There's something to be said about that.

Just saying.

Anyway,

that was a little gay.

Anyway,

Frank, congratulations on not being a fat turd and actually being a functional male.

That's good.

Good job, buddy.

Yeah, thumbs up for that.

If you lose another 50 pounds, because I'm sure you're still fat, you're going to even get a bigger dick.

He's going to get bigger.

Yeah.

Look at this fucking guy in the picture holding it out with like, what is it that 12?

Is that centimeters, though?

Yeah, that's centimeters.

12 centimeters?

12 centigrade.

Must be European.

I'm going to say this.

You know, know, if people actually knew how,

I don't actually even think there's like ugly people.

I think there's fat people.

Okay.

Because if you took most people who are way overweight and got them to a healthy weight, they actually end up looking pretty good.

Almost everybody.

Almost everybody.

And like, dude, people don't realize the quality of life difference there is between being extremely overweight and being in shape.

It's a completely different experience.

People look at you different, they treat you different, you feel different, your body works different.

Apparently, your dick gets bigger.

Listen, everything's different and better.

And

these

people who argue that fact are delusional.

You're delusional, dude.

I've been fat.

I've been morbidly obese.

Like, when I was 350, dude, I was a fat fuck.

Okay.

Like 120 years ago, I would have been the fattest man on the planet at 350.

I would have been in the fucking circus.

Okay, so I know what it's like to be like that.

I know what it's like to have to wear the same clothes over and over and over again because none of your shit fits.

I know what it's like to not go to weddings because you can't get your suit to fit.

I know what it's like to not want to go to barbecues and pool parties because you're fucking embarrassed of how you look.

I know what it's like for, I know what it's like.

And people who claim like, oh, dude, I'm happy with, you're lying.

No, you're not.

You're fucking lying.

Or you lack the perspective completely of what it could be like.

It's more unacceptable socially

to be a criminal or to be fat than it is to be a criminal or to be like literally almost anything else.

And I didn't make the rules.

It's just reality.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

And it's funny how they shove it down our throats in the propaganda.

Like, notice what they make the average man look like on a television show or on a like.

I'm talking about a sitcom show, not a

like army show or military show, right?

Just a basic show.

An average dude.

Regular commercial.

They make the average dude look like a fat, lazy

turd.

And they do that so that other men will be like, well, see, this is what you're supposed to look like at 40.

Motherfucker, I'm 40 fucking six.

Okay?

Like, I'm fucking yoked.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm in better shape than I was at 25.

There's no, there's nothing

that

can't keep getting better.

I'm convinced of it.

And I think this whole thing of like,

you know,

I'm this age and I can't grow.

I know 70-year-old dudes that are fucking shredded.

I think you could continue to get better.

I think the whole thing is a complete fucking lie so that people will give up, be unhealthy, and become a customer of the medical system.

Yeah.

That's real, man.

Last little check-in with the chat.

Back in my trailer park.

The lower your stomach hangs, the prettier the crackhead you find.

Okay.

It's funny because like all the people who

advocate for fat acceptance, then eventually they end up losing a bunch of weight.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, Lizzo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then what?

Oh, so you were lying the whole time?

Right.

So you wasn't really happy?

We know.

Yeah.

It's not a, dude, listen.

Not only that, dude, like those people that are that big, they fucking smell bad.

You don't ever meet a big person like that that doesn't smell bad.

They smell dirty.

They got shit going on in their body that's not healthy.

I'm not, I'm not saying it to be mean.

I'm saying it to be you're not, you're not accepted socially.

It's fucking gross.

I'm sorry.

You're fat phobic.

Yes, I fucking am because I used to be fat.

And I know what the fuck it's about.

I am scared of it.

I spent most of my life being a fat fuck.

Okay.

I know I'd rather die than go back to being fucking fat.

That's real shit because it's that big of a difference.

Oh, that's superficial.

No, it's not.

It's quality of life, man.

It's real shit, man.

Well, thumbs up to this guy.

Thumbs up to fuck.

That's why I'm so passionate about the fucking program, bro.

Yeah.

The live art.

Yes, because it fucking fixes the underlying problem of adherence.

Your ability to adhere is what costs you or gets you everything in your life.

If you set out to get in shape and you can follow the plan, you're going to be in shape.

If you set out to get wealthy and you can follow that plan, you're going to be wealthy.

It removes the biggest roadblock, probably the only roadblock in any of our lives to build anything real, which is our own ability to adhere to a plan.

And we got all these fucking idiots on the internet thinking it's a fitness program.

It has very little to do with fitness, to be honest, other than

it's a byproduct of making the right decisions yeah you know that's real man well thumbs up to frank

yeah yeah frank yeah keep going you'll gain another inch

you know

yeah man thumbs up to frank man i don't know i'll be telling people you got a five inch

he might be he might be a shower so and that if that's the case not i mean nobody measures their dick when it's soft bro damn you're right so he's putting that out there yeah

yeah because i got an iphone 20.

Yeah.

Oh, no, based off my measurements.

It's a 20 Max Max Plus Pro.

You know what they say about people that brag about their big dicks?

They drive.

They got little dicks.

They drive nice cars.

No.

I get, I get, listen, bro.

I drive a lime green car when my dick feels just too big.

It's a responsibility.

That's what it is.

Counterbalances the weight.

Yeah, bro.

Like, you don't know what it's like to walk around with like that.

Like, that's a lot of pressure.

Yeah, I get it.

You know, sometimes I like to drive like an orange car or a green car just so it shrinks a little bit

that makes sense yeah yeah

that's all right well guys

Andy chat

yeah that's all I got man yeah tell all your friends come to the chat next time we're gonna move into a live show so within the next what couple weeks sure is that isn't that the plan no it's very realistic is that the plan but not you're the one that knows what the fuck's going on yes come over here and tell him the fucking plan put him on the video too just come right here by camera come to my camera here he loves for everybody see him.

Yes.

We'll be doing a live show

live on YouTube

in the morning.

We're still trying to figure out the time and everything.

Ebony and Ivory.

It goes together, Emperor.

All right.

You guys gonna make out?

I didn't hear anything he said.

Just sit right here.

Hey, what about

Madat being ranked in the world of jiu-jitsu?

No.

He's one of the top jiu-jitsuers.

Jiu-Jitsu errors.

Basically, here's the reality.

He'll beat your ass.

Isn't that right?

That's right.

All right.

That's right, man.

And then he'll smile while he's doing it, too.

You ever seen him do his fucking matches and he's in there smiling and shit?

Madats are badass.

Oh, he spelled your name right.

There's no question.

Hey, Andy, I'm curious what your opinion about XRP.

If you don't want to answer, that's fine.

I was just curious.

What's XRP?

Yeah, I build companies, man.

Oh, that's crypto.

I'm a company builder.

I'm not an investment.

I can invest in companies, but I'm not a crypto expert, so to speak.

I don't understand enough about it yet to

tell people what to do or not to do.

That's the mature take.

It's the truth.

I'm good at what I'm good at.

I'm not one of these people that pretends to be good at fucking everything.

I can tell you what I am really good at is I'm good at seeing shit before it fucking happens.

That's what I get paid all my money for.

I don't do anything else, but

you know,

yeah, clearly I can't know what the fuck's going on in the world world because I'm retarded.

Yeah, no, man, that's real, man.

Well, guys, it's been great, man.

Yeah, it's been fun.

It's been real.

It's been real fun.

It's been real fun.

Real fun.

Yes.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that's all I got.

All right.

Don't forget:

if you got a little wiener, lose some weight,

trim it down.

You gain an inch or two.

That's right.

With that being said, don't be a hoe.

Share the show.

We're sleeping on the floor.

Now my jury box froze.

Fuck a boat, fuck a stove.

Counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold, that's a no.

Headshot, case clothes, flow.