884. Full Length: Bad Thoughts Ft. Tom Segura

Yeah, we're sleeping on the floor.

Now my jury box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold, just a no.

Headshot, case close, close, close.

What is up, guys?

It's Andy for selling.

This is the show for the realist sake of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society.

And welcome to motherfucking reality.

Guys,

as always, we have DJ.

Yeah, there he he is.

Special full-length episode today.

We got a special guest, Mr.

Tom Seguera.

What's happening, brother?

How are you?

Thanks for having me, man.

Yeah, man.

It's great to have you here, too.

He's in town doing the Fox Theater.

How is it?

It's amazing, dude.

It's one of the most beautiful theaters in the country.

I've been playing St.

Louis my whole career, you know.

I think my first stop here was at Helium.

At the Galleria.

And I've done like a variety of different venues I've been to the Fox a few times it's one of the best it's one of the best theaters in the country it sucks when you came in though man we had the fucking storm yeah it was a it was took you out man it was a it was actually a gnarly uh descent into st.

Louis yeah we touched down about 10 minutes before the tornado and you could tell something was happening yeah um but uh yeah we made it through it and you know

people people were fun last night yeah was it good yeah it was great yeah it was great say look i mean dude look

we kind of get left off the list of a lot of things.

Let's be real.

It's real.

You know, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fucking war zone that we live in downtown.

But

we always appreciate you coming through.

And that's what you're doing, man.

So, what's been going on?

Got a new Netflix.

New series out?

Yeah, it's called Bad Thoughts.

It's on Netflix.

It was the most fun I've ever had, like, creatively making it, you know, because it was kind of like,

it really was the thing you dream of where the studio, the network in this case, was just like, pretty much like, just make what you want.

Cause I've been through other development processes and pilots where, you know, the first time you meet with executives, they're like, yeah, make what you want.

And then a couple of months in, they're like, take all this shit out.

And you're like,

not like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

it's a real bummer of a process when it's like that.

So this was like the opposite where we got to make, I mean, pretty wild stories that we wrote.

It's basically anthology.

So it's like these self-contained stories.

And we got to make what we wanted.

So it was really fun.

And nobody stepped in and said, hey, wait a minute, dude.

This is like a little too much.

I mean, there was a couple of times where they were like, this is

like, this is pretty crazy.

You know, in the writing process,

very,

like, very few notes.

And then in the edit, you know, they were like, this is particularly gruesome.

Can we, can we dial this back?

And we were like, maybe.

Yeah, but dude, isn't that the, isn't that the, like,

isn't that the point?

Like, isn't the point to walk the line?

Yeah, yeah.

I think, I mean, also, I think, you know, in the stories we were making, we were making pretty crazy stories.

You know, one is about

a guy who goes to a barista and they put in, he asks for a splash of milk, and they basically give him like a cup of milk.

And so he's like, hey, can you remake this?

And the barista is really rude.

And so then the guy kills everybody.

Well, I mean, we've all been there, bro.

Yeah.

It's like wish fulfillment.

Yes.

Everybody has encountered a retail person where you're like, I'm going to fucking kill this guy.

And I want to.

And everybody else.

Yeah, exactly.

All of you.

So that was like the fantasy of the story.

And then they were like, hey, this is pretty violent.

I was like, yeah, that's the whole point.

It's a violent fantasy.

And then they let it go.

I mean, I rip a guy's jaw out of his face in the thing.

probably deserve it.

I've learned not to fuck with my baristas, though, man.

I know.

Bro, you should never fuck with people that fuck with your food.

Food specifically, but like, you know, the they them's like, bro, like, they'll get you.

The day them, bro, listen, they will get you, bro.

Like, I've learned just to leave it alone.

Even if it is fucked up, I just leave it alone, man.

You just leave it alone.

I just leave it alone, bro.

The problem is, dude, is that they themselves will get you for not being a they them.

They like me.

Well, that's because you're black.

That's true.

I'm bipop.

Yeah.

No, I do get to pass.

You definitely get a better treatment than we do.

Oh, how things have changed.

It's a little different now.

Yeah, it's a little different now.

Dude, that's sick.

I was thinking before the show, though, like, because there was, first of all, bad thoughts is fucking awesome.

Oh, thanks, man.

It is absolutely.

If you guys have not seen that yet, you need to go watch it.

Like, right now.

Please.

It's definitely in line with our audience for sure.

Oh, dude.

Yeah.

We're no stranger to crashing the fucking line.

Well, I want to ask on that, like, how did...

so were these just like, how much of, I want to, okay, guys, my question is, how much of that stuff was like real shit that actually happened to you?

Or like, are these like, or was it just like, okay, like, let's just create the funniest shit we can possibly think of?

I mean, there's, is there some reality in there?

You know, like, the coffee thing came is like, it's like this cathartic thing to, to write because you go.

It came from the whole thing where I'd seen so many times I'd go, hey, can I get a splash of milk?

And I'd see them go like one, two, three, four.

I'm like, you don't know what a fucking splash is?

Like, a splash splash is a splash you know and so you know you can

talk about that you can think about that but the most fun thing to do is to write a story where you go this thing happens to me all the time here's like a different version of how you know it's like it's a fantasy right so

so it's a it's a war plan right yeah but it's also like it's like the healthiest way to channel like those feelings and emotions you go like well you can just complain about it or you can like write a story about this fantasy.

So that's like one version of a story, right?

I mean, there's a bunch of different ones in there.

Like there's the me with the twins.

I don't know if you, so that's the black and white one, where I just had this, I had this idea where I was like, hey, what if we do one where a woman

sees me in a window and tells me to like waves me in.

And then what I pitched was, the woman is drop dead gorgeous and then she's like do you want to have sex with me and I go yeah and she goes okay well first you have to fuck somebody as gross as you and I go what and then

and then what we were gonna do was have a woman come in and we were gonna deep fake my face on her so that it would be a sex scene between me and me you know like that was the idea and then One of the other directors, Rami Hishash, he was like, what if it was a conjoined twin?

oh and I was like oh and I liked it more

so

we wrote the story so I play Joseph who looks like me and then I also play the the twin on the back of her on her back growing up and so then I do kind of have sex with me like that was the whole it so these were just I mean it's no different than you know Every other day.

It's Friday night for you.

Yeah.

You know, so they were all like, they came from all these different places.

But yeah, it was all a lot of it came from that writer's room, just like throwing ideas, which is like the most, the writer's room is like this, where you just sit down, you have a board, everyone's writing shit down, and you're pitching, and then every few, I don't know, every hour or something, something you go like, oh, shit.

And then when you get excited, you're like, I'll be back.

And you run out and you just sit and write and write.

And then you bring it back to the room and you guys read it together.

And it's like, it's a very fun, like.

kind of atmosphere to be.

This is like a hangout.

It's like a hangout with like super funny comedy writers.

And like, it's the best because you you're getting like eight nine different people's minds on the thing and then you kind of you know you you end up there's no you you let your ego go you don't go like well this was my idea you yeah it's whoever has the best idea that you kind of go like that's it yeah yeah i mean dude that's you know that's in line with anything i think great right yeah for sure great leaders you're you know you're the leader of your team it's it's you know it's about picking the the best product not the fucking idea a hundred percent and like I think a production, like a show

is not unlike kind of running a company in a way where the best thing you can do is try to surround yourself with the best talent.

Like you want the, you're like, I want the best production designer, you know, director of photography, like all these people that are in charge of different departments.

And you want people to like be great.

Yeah.

You're like, fucking go kill it.

Yeah.

Like your ideas, yeah.

Like, let's, let's hear them.

Let's do them.

I think that's the difference between you know uh i mean dude you know a gazillion entrepreneurs and and

i really think that's the the biggest difference between great entrepreneurs great business people yeah and and shitty ones is like the shitty ones think that they have to have all the ideas and they don't want to surround themselves with better people yeah and the great ones are like fuck dude everybody's smarter than me here that's right like That's what I, I want everybody to be smarter than me.

That's, I mean, if I have like any gift in what I do, it's identifying great people

and being like, hey, come work with me.

Yeah.

You know, like, that's, that's what I try to do well.

I go, like, I'm okay.

You're great.

Yeah.

You come work with me.

Like, that's what I want to do is have great people around me.

Yeah, bro.

And, and, you know, it's, it's interesting.

Because like people will come here and they, you know, they're like, oh, dude, you know, everything's so cool.

You're doing such.

I'm like, bro, it's them.

Yeah.

These guys are fucking good.

You know, so I always feel like a little bit guilty because I'm like, I get a lot of the credit, but my team is fucking amazing.

I feel like that with the show entirely.

It's like, it's my face and my name.

Yeah.

And everybody kind of like goes like, it's you, you, you.

And I'm like, well, it's partially me, but the reason it is what it is is like these 50 other people.

Do you look at it like,

do you look at it like, hey, man, this is just my role on the team?

Yeah, I mean, I feel like,

yeah, you know, you have a role.

I think in, you know, the thing is about like, it's so different.

Like stand-up is so singular, right?

It really literally is just you.

You write the stuff, you perform it, you hold a mic, and it's just you on stage.

And it's a very kind of like the only way a tour works is with a team, but stand-up is very singular.

But a show or a movie is the absolute polar opposite.

It's like, it's like running a business where you're like, maybe you're the, in this case, like the CEO of it, but then you have to hire an entire team.

And you, if, if you are like, no, no, no, everything runs through me, whatever you make is definitely going to suck.

Yeah, you know, you really have to like empower people and go, like,

you run this shit too.

And you kind of, you run your department.

You, you know, you have to let them encourage them to like take over in what they do.

That's the only way a TV or or or film, like TV show or film is going to be entertaining.

Well, you, you, you run your own media, right?

Like you, you have everything.

Yeah, we, we have like a YMH studios.

Yeah.

um so like we produce a lot of podcasts we've produced the show bad thoughts uh we're producing a feature film so yeah it's you know it runs through our company but it's all about like

hiring great people yeah yeah for sure a thousand percent it's sick man well i thought uh something else was interesting tom though we've i've been noticing too you you've had like a transformation journey Oh,

a little bit of a glow up.

Yeah, let's talk about it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Sure.

Let's talk about it.

I mean, because, I mean, well, dude, it's like a group effort, man.

You got jelly roll down, uh, you know, 200 pounds.

He's down 200 pounds.

Yeah, dude, dude, he looks fucking great.

I just saw him in concert this past Tuesday at Bush Stadium with Postmam.

He looks amazing.

Yeah, well, we did the 5K two weeks ago.

Yeah.

And I hadn't seen him in person since the 5K

the previous year, which was like almost exactly a year to the day.

And he was down 130 from 130 pounds from last May and 200 overall.

And then at the 5K, he was like, next year at the 5K, I want to be down another 100.

I want to be 240.

He'll do it.

I totally believe it.

Dude, I'm glad he's doing that, bro, because like he's such, he's so good at what he does.

And all I was thinking when he was like big, big was like, fuck, it's going to be another dude that dies.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, also, I'll tell you this.

Like, so we got to Raymond James where the Bucks play.

That's where we had the 5K.

And, you know, like last year we did the Rose Bowl.

And so they had us start in the parking lot in Pasadena.

And they laid out this track like on side streets, right?

And then you kind of run back through this parking lot.

And I was like, I was imagining something like that.

I don't know the layout of Raymond James Stadium, right?

So I just show up and they're like, hey, there's a lot of uphill.

And I go, what do you mean?

And they're like, well, it's, they made it all within the stadium.

Well, the only way to hit.

3.1 miles in the stadium is you kind of follow this path and then you take the corridor, like the ramps down, and then you take them up nine stories all up no right and then you go across the stadium down again and then up again so i was like yo this is like brutal half a mile that's just all incline which like you know bro that's hard enough to do when you've been drinking beer all day it's hard enough to do honestly like if you're like if you're like moderately fit yeah right and so like when i heard he was coming because i knew he was coming but they're like he's coming later this afternoon because he had flown in from a show we were out there.

I was like, yo, I don't know if he can do this, man.

Right.

We were like, you know, he's still a big dude.

Yeah.

And then I was thinking like cardio and knees.

I was like, man, it's going to be 90 by the time he degrees outside by the time he gets here.

And I go, this is like fucking all incline.

So I was like actually worried.

And then like when he got there, I was like, all right, well, you know, I don't know if we tell him or like just

let him.

He crushed it.

Yeah.

He did it

at 340, like all these inclines.

And yeah, he crushed it.

Yeah, that's good.

That sounds like Camelback Mountain for us.

Oh, yeah, fuck that.

You ever did Camelback in Arizona?

No, don't.

Okay.

Yeah.

Bro, that was miserable.

Yeah, dude.

That was fucking miserable.

We got half, dude.

We started.

So we had this big event.

There was like a couple hundred people, like a group thing, sort of like a group run club, right?

Yeah.

And they were all meeting down there to do Camelback.

And DJ and I got up early.

We had been fucking drinking all night.

And I was like, all right, let's get there early so we can like get like up the mountain.

So nobody sees us fucking dying, right?

Yeah, I knew it was gonna be.

We were polling people before, you know what I'm saying?

I think that's where we're fucked up at because we were polling people, and it was like a 50-50.

Like, hey, how is it?

And we either got it was death or it was the easiest fucking thing they've ever done.

Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying?

I think that's where we fucked up at because, like, I'm like, we didn't really know what to expect.

I will say there's this thing, I mean, it's not like a new observation, but like when you're doing it, because when I was doing the actual this run, I feel like if I had been just alone, I'd been like, man, fuck this shit.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

The fact that there's like thousands of people, yeah, you can't

you hit that turn and you see the, I had no idea that it was nine incline ramps up.

I was like, mother.

And then you just, you just do it.

Yeah,

it's peer pressure.

It's peer, the peer pressure really does help.

Yeah.

And then I found like, I'm on this path, like, you know, it's all mapped out.

And I see this guy, and he's like shirtless and kind of yoked, like midway.

And he's, let's say, I don't know, 100 yards behind me.

And then I got it in my head.

I was like, I can't let this fucking hot guy pass me.

So

every time I would like wrap around and I'd see him coming, I was like, you cannot let this guy beat you.

And then you just like keep running a hard.

And every time I was like, man, I want to like slow down, catch my breath, I'd be like, that fucking hot guy is going to beat you.

And then it's just going to, it's going to make you upset.

So I just, and I told him afterwards, I was like, I didn't want you to fucking pass me, man.

He was like, really?

I was like, yeah, dude.

Like, he was my motivation.

But I feel like if I was alone, you'd just be like, I'm tired.

Fuck this.

I'll stop.

We started like 30, 45 minutes before everybody.

I didn't want to see everybody see me die, bro.

Yeah.

So like, I got like, I wanted to get like halfway up before we started.

This motherfucker shows up with.

walking sticks like he's in all this equipment like he's going up fucking Mount Everest.

Be prepared.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

So we get like, we, we, we're like, dude, legit.

We're like struggling.

We're, it's hard.

We're like up there.

And I'm like, fuck, we got to be, this, we got to be close.

And he, and he taps me on the shoulder and he points up at the thing.

And I see this like little line of what looks like fucking ants.

Like go.

And I'm like, fuck.

So, so, dude, I'm like, dude, me had ever standing there.

I'm like, dude, maybe we should just go back down.

No one's up here.

And right as I said that, dude, the groups coming up.

They're like, Andy, are you on your way down?

And I'm like, fuck.

So we ended up doing it.

How far is that?

Is that

a moment?

It's just like straight up,

bro.

But it was three miles.

It was straight fucking up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's like, you know, there's not a path, bro.

Like, you're like using your hands and shit.

Trying to find a way.

Yeah, I'm not built for that shit.

No, dude.

Yeah, I was not big boy friendly.

Yeah.

But, but no, dude, your transformation has been sick, man.

Thanks, man.

I mean, I think it's probably like, and, you know, like, anything where it's just kind of what you prioritize.

Yeah, for sure.

You know, like you think, you think you prioritize things, then you realize that just thinking about it is not a priority.

Like you have to do things.

So I think I just put more of an emphasis on training more and, you know, like eating is obviously like such a big thing, especially when you travel for a living because you're just in different cities.

And, you know, you are.

It's

hotel gyms and hotel gyms.

I mean, food is, I think,

for us, the biggest thing, right?

Because like when I started my career as a stand-up doing the road, you know, comedy clubs are notorious for like, you know, it's bad food.

It's not good for you.

It's like, it's mozzarella sticks and chicken wings.

And, and that's kind of, and we're there late.

And that was just like, I don't know, I'm 23.

You don't even think about it.

You just start eating that shit.

And then 10 years go by and you're like, you've gained 50 pounds.

And, but you're also just like, this is what it is.

You just kind of resign to like, you know, I'm up late.

I sleep in.

We eat like shit.

I'm on the road.

I'm a comedian.

Who who cares?

And then all of a sudden you're like approaching 40 and you're like, what am I fucking doing with my life?

You know, like you're just kind of a mess, really.

You're on a, you're on a path that you realize can go a certain way.

And I think, especially in comedy, like we kind of like romanticize it.

We're like, like we make it cool.

to be a slob.

You're like, I'm a comic.

You laugh about it.

Yeah.

You're like, who cares?

We drink beer and eat like shit and sleep in.

But then you're like, yeah, like you don't have to do that, you know, to do stand-up.

Like, it's not a prerequisite, even though you kind of let yourself.

Yeah, it's a justification.

Yeah, you justify it.

And then you're just like, I don't know, then you just hit a certain point where you're like, this is not a great way to live.

Like, you can

take care of yourself.

And then I think the biggest thing is you end up, you know, people always see you physically transform, but you just feel so much better.

You know, like you physically and mentally, you're like, I'm thinking more clearly.

I feel better.

I'm happy.

You'll probably be be able to create better shit.

Oh my God.

Like now I tell people, it's like a lot of my days are really slammed with like, you know, a hundred things.

Right.

And I go, when I come into my office,

we have like recordings and interviews and ad things.

And then like, you know, we're going to shoot things and we got meetings.

It's like a full day.

I've learned that if I work out first, like before I go in, I'm just like a so much better version of myself.

Like I come in and like sometimes I even staff are like, damn, like you're in a good mood.

And I'm like, yeah, I just came from the gym, like a few grid.

And then I, I actually feel like I have energy for that day.

Yeah.

Whereas opposed the other way of like where I just show up, I feel like I'm dragging that day.

Yeah.

And dude, I did the exact same thing.

About two years ago, I figured, I would come in here because we always talk about what the fuck's going on in the world.

And I get super pissed off.

Yeah.

And like, I would come in here, bro, and like, I'd be so fucking pissed off.

And then I figured out if I train right before like i was that's you know what i was doing right before this i train right before even though i still get pissed yeah like it's it's like it's like not nuclear it's like it's it's tolerable yeah you need it you need it dude it's yeah yeah i think we all you know everybody thinks of uh

or a lot of people think of that as just like like working out is just like for your muscles you know of like oh you're trying you know stronger or whatever which is obviously good for you but i think the what it does to you mentally totally agree is, is like, there's

like, there's just

the fog of sleep goes away.

Yeah.

Things just fire faster.

And I actually literally feel happier.

Me too.

Like, I actually, I'm in a better mood.

Yeah.

You know, I'm not like a naturally happy person.

Yeah.

So I have to like.

Like I, you know, actually to be real, dude, like naturally happy people kind of fucking annoy me.

Yeah.

Like, what the fuck is wrong with this person?

Are you happy for?

Yeah, dude.

Like, but.

What do you are you Russian or something?

No, I do.

I don't know.

Like, I don't know.

I'm Sicilian, but like, I don't, I don't know what it is, bro.

Like, the chipper people, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know.

It's like, fuck, man.

Yeah.

What the fuck did I do wrong?

You know?

So, but yeah, dude, working out does it, man.

Like, it definitely helps me a lot.

So, did you guys like all get together?

And like, who was the ringleader of this?

I think it was like a slug.

Because Burt lost a shit ton, too, didn't he?

He's, he, yeah, he has, he goes goes up and down quite a bit.

Yeah.

So like he was, he trimmed down and what look was looking great in his special that he shot.

He shot it in November.

So it's been like, you know, six, seven months.

And in just those six, seven months, I think he's put on like 30 plus pounds.

But he also,

you know, he's, he's kind of a, he's a weird athlete too.

Like he's somebody where if he was like, all right, today I'm just going to clean it up.

You know, in two weeks he'd be down 15 pounds.

Yeah.

And like, he just bounces back real quick and then he falls off because he just

parties.

Like, he, you know,

it's fun.

He, he's on the road, he drinks, he eats like a psycho, and then he gains all this weight.

And then he just like pivots back.

Now, I think it's, you know, the older you get, you're more like, dude, this is crazy.

Like, just hang out in one weight group.

Yeah.

But, uh,

but yeah, he just does that.

For me, I just feel like I

still

gain and lose, but I have like a tighter window.

Yeah.

Where I, if I'm like right now, I feel like I'm at my max.

I'm like reining it in, being like, oh, this is too much.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't want it to go.

You know what it's like to let it go.

Exactly.

So how much work it takes.

I'm not going to do another 10, 20.

Like, I'll rein it in now.

Yeah.

It took me till I was about 40 to figure that out, dude.

Yeah, it took me the same.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, fuck, this is not worth it.

Cause I would get in shape and then I would go, like, I would get down to like 250, which is in shape for me and then i would fucking be 350 and then i would be 250 and then i did that like three or four times yeah fuck i think it's i mean yeah there's a certain age where you're like i can't do this like this not it's just not good but i don't know man it has to stay on your mind like nothing will nothing will just like happen you know like i feel like a lot of people they're like

the the the curse of it is that you can think about it all day and not do anything.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Like there's people who like wake up and they go, I'm really unhappy physically, like with my body and all this shit, and go to bed with the same thoughts and like not change anything.

Right.

Like they just have this forever.

And it's like a version of insanity.

Yeah.

And then they end up telling about it.

They end up selling themselves on some fucking bullshit.

Like, oh, well, this is just the way it is.

Always trying to find a way around.

Yeah.

It's like, I, yeah, I mean, you just.

Eventually you get tired of telling yourself that shit.

You get tired of telling it and you just go, you also just accept that like, okay, man, like, I'm going to have to eat this way yeah if i want to eat the other way then you accept what comes with it right so yeah it's a lot of like yeah man lean protein and you know like i want the pasta but i'm like no yeah and then the workouts i feel like are

um they're not like i don't resist the workout like i like the workout but the work of it i think is you still have to find the time You know, like that's the big challenge.

Especially when you're on the fucking road, dude.

Yeah, you got to find the time.

So a lot of it is just like, I mean, that's why, great, like, Sean comes with me is that, you know, sometimes I'm like, well, I guess there's not enough time to work out.

And then he'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

We can just go right now.

And you're like, okay.

Like, that kind of shit, right?

Where you're like, yeah, dude.

Because the truth of the matter is, even a 30-minute quick workout is still get the job done, man.

In terms of like clearing your mind.

If you hit it, you can make 30 minutes go a long way.

Yeah.

For sure.

Definitely.

That's real, man.

Well, one of the other things we, so we talk a lot about like, you know, culture stuff.

things are happening right now, right?

And, you know, since we have a fucking global figure in comedy, I wanted to try to, I guess, ask you, what's your take on cancel culture and comedy?

And where have you seen the ebbs and flows go in that?

I mean,

I feel like the big

conversation piece of that was like a few years ago when that idea kind of floated.

But I also feel like

it's kind of here's the difference between the the world today and 30 years ago like 30 years ago

if you were a comedian or somebody and you said some shit that upset people

maybe there'd be a news story about it but it's mostly that

Somebody like it would mostly be somebody who was mad they would just tell somebody else like there's no way you knew they were mad but there's also no way that back then people weren't mad about shit.

Do you know what I mean?

Like you just just, the difference is today,

we have all these devices where people can

tell you that they're mad about what you said.

And I feel like

a lot of comedians will be like, oh, you know,

like they're, they're complaining that someone's upset about what they did.

And you're like, yeah, that's part of the thing, dude.

Like,

you can't be a comedian who goes, I'm going to say whatever I want to say, and it's not cool if somebody gets upset.

You're like, that's how it works.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, you're, you're the one who's actually being super complainy right now.

Like, you have to let people say that they don't like what you said.

Like, that's the exchange.

I'm going to say some shit.

And like, yeah, you, every comedian wants you to love everything they said.

That's just the way it goes.

Even the ones who they all want you to, so some of them are just complaining that, hey, people got mad about this.

That's bullshit.

You're like, no, that's part of how it goes.

Like, you're the complaining little bitch right now, right?

Because you're upset that people are upset.

Because my thing is, like, what, where is somebody really being canceled in stand-up?

Let's say.

I'm talking in the comedy space.

Because some of them will be like, oh, I can't say this.

Like, yes, you can.

You should.

You just can't dictate that everyone will love it.

You know?

Dude, that whole saying of you can't say this is so fucking annoying.

It's a tired trope now.

Bro.

Yeah.

Like, oh, dude, they won't let us say.

Who won't let you say that?

You won't let you say that.

What they're really saying is they're like, I'm mad that some people are mad about what I said.

It's like, that's the exchange.

Bro, I've never seen someone get canceled that didn't come out bigger.

I've never seen it happen.

Yeah, because it's like, it's a made-up kind of, like, you're not really canceled.

I mean, are there a few examples?

Probably.

I can't even really like, where you go, you said some shit and now you can't get work.

Yeah.

Because that's really what canceled means.

And I think, look,

I mean, yeah, there's a people, the worst people, I think, in society are people who go,

like, you said something.

I'm going to try to contact your employers so that you lose your job.

That's a weak piece of shit.

That's fucking bitch shit.

That is the worst.

And I have like zero respect for the person that goes, I don't like something somebody said.

I'm going to try to make this person lose their life, like their livelihood.

That's insane.

Yeah.

But I'm like, in comedy, like, who's, who's stopping you from selling tickets, bro?

Like, say whatever you want to say.

Also, if you don't, if you stop selling tickets, that's on you.

Yeah.

That's not like somebody attacking you.

Yeah, you just fucking suck.

The market is dictating why you're not selling it.

So I just don't really buy that like comics are being canceled.

I really think that like, like, if you say wild shit and it's really funny, guess what?

People will be like, that shit was really funny.

So, it was crazy.

Let's be real, dude.

Like, the best comedians in history, the best stand-ups in history, when you go back in like the fucking 80s, like Eddie Murphy, before he was like a dad on TV, you know, the guy was fucking raw and like delirious.

And like, bro, go like these kids these days with their little fucking vaginas, like, go fucking watch that shit, bro.

Like, and you know what?

You know what?

Like, then you look at chappelle like when he was doing uh chappelle show and like yeah these things made culture stronger because it taught us that we could all laugh at each other and make fun of each other well the chappelle example too which was like great was that like he put out a special and then everyone

you know there was people like walking out of netflix and like it was all in the news and people were calling him transphobic and they were like oh he's being canceled and you're like what are you talking about like i mean you go to the show i went to a show with him the following week.

Oh, after that shit happened?

Yeah, I was at, I was at, I was, I was opening on that show and there was fucking 18,000 people at the show.

Yeah.

And you're like, yeah, I don't think this cancellation is like working.

This shit is awesome.

That's right.

People were like overusing that term.

And it's like, you know,

he doesn't need me to defend him, but it was like one of those things where I'm like, no, no, like you're saying he's being canceled.

What really happening is that some people are really pissed about something he said and that's fine like that's how the world works like not everyone's going to be like yay for everything you say but he's definitely not canceled like yeah he just had you know there's a he's he's doing stand-up in an nba arena right now and there's it's completely sold out like i think it's working out yeah yeah no shit makes it worse too bro because like they're like dave chappelle comedian says you know trans people aren't whatever it's like he's a fucking comedian well the reason it's funny is because fucking true, bro.

Like, that's the fucking thing.

Like, it's true.

That's what, that's why comedy is funny.

It's fucking true.

You're able to say truths that everybody's thinking about and everybody knows and just laugh about it.

That's why it's so important to culture, man.

Like, everybody's, you know, all this tension and shit.

This comes from people being too serious about shit and taking things too, too fucking, you know, much to heart.

A lot of times the people that are the most upset about these like stand-up things, the funny thing is, not only have they not been to see that stand-up live, sometimes they don't even watch the special and they write the article.

Yeah.

So it's like they're not even actually, they haven't seen, they haven't seen the actual performance.

What they'll do is they'll read an excerpt, like literally, like read it.

So they just are reading the written word and then they write an article about that, which is like, It's just this clickbaity bullshit, man.

It's not real.

It's the world we live in.

It's not real.

It's like, it's, it's, it's this manufactured thing where like then people read that person's article who also haven't seen the thing and the funny thing is all those people that are like the most upset dude they wouldn't go to that show anyway

they're just commenting on some because it makes them feel like they're doing something to to express how wrong these other people are.

And it's like, dude, they're not even going.

Like, it's all just...

My point is, it's just all noise.

Like, it's just this sideshow thing that's not, you can be distracted by it, or the better thing you do is you just ignore it, and you just realize that, like, it is somebody trying to get attention for themselves.

It has nothing to do with what they don't have anything creatively to create on their own.

So, it's like all their fucking reaction videos on the internet, which some of them I like.

But, like, dude, some of these motherfuckers, their whole fucking thing is, all I do is react to other people's shit.

Like, bro, that's not creation of anything.

No, I know.

And that's like a cheap way to get attention, in my opinion.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that is a whole lane.

But

it goes like those people, you see the reaction video, so you know what it is.

Half of the people that write articles, they're doing reaction articles.

Same thing.

And they don't even watch the thing to react to.

They just pick a word and they go, I'm going to write an article about this.

You're like, okay.

It's crazy, man.

So you're on tour right now.

I was looking at the, like, it's a long tour.

You're going off for this two years.

It's a two-year tour.

I, I, you know, my last tour was actually even busier.

But this one is like,

yeah, I mean, you basically hit every major North American market,

and then you select other global markets to do.

And you take your time.

Like, I like to take my time.

Like, there's no point of rushing a tour.

Yeah.

So it's like, yeah, I'll just take a couple of years.

You know, I'll next week is my last week of spring tour.

And then I take most of the summer off.

Okay.

So it's like, you know, get some rest, hang out with the family, pick up in the fall.

I'll shoot it in the next special in the fall.

And then next year, 26,

I just have like some things to film, but I won't actually like tour.

Tour, tour.

So it'll be like a much different like schedule for me.

What's the best and worst cities you've you've had to do stand up in?

Well, the funny thing about.

And you ain't got to say St.

Louis.

It's fine.

No, no, no.

The funny thing about picking best and worst is that

you learn over the course of of time that sometimes you have a bad show in a city and then you go, this city sucks for stand-up.

And it really was just that night.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, right, right.

Yeah.

Or like, conversely, you'll go, this city is great.

And so in your mind, you go, it'll be great.

And then you show up and the show is like, okay.

And you're like, what happened?

It's like those things.

Those can change year after year.

You can go to a place where it was great and it's bad and bad.

Now it's great.

I think what you fall in love with are cities almost like separate from the show.

You know what I mean?

Like it's always fun for me to, like, I love going to Denver because I like the city of Denver.

I like, I like the atmosphere.

I like the restaurants.

Like, I have a good time.

And then the shows have usually been really fun for me.

It's always fun to be.

I like big cities.

So I like going to New York.

I like doing London.

I like to, you know what I mean?

Like, but I have a lot of great.

places that I mean I love the beauty of like like British Columbia, you know, like in the in the northwest, like the Vancouver area.

I just like being in that atmosphere.

And,

you know, Chicago's always been like a super fun city for me to go to.

And like crowds have been fun.

So I have fun in a lot of cities, man.

Yeah.

So you're like living life as you go too.

Yeah, yeah.

You're trying to like, you know,

a lot of times you don't have time to do that much shit.

A lot of times we're doing like Thursday, one city, Friday.

So you don't really like.

get to enjoy the city that much.

But you know, sometimes you do have a little more.

And like, like New York, for instance, I just love the fact fact that you can walk the streets and you feel like you're in this vibrant city.

It doesn't matter what time.

It doesn't matter.

I love that, too.

It's like it's an

it charges you up.

And I'm usually there for like a couple days.

So it's just so different than where I live in Austin.

And I mean, I've been going to New York like most of my life.

And it's just, you know, it's just still like.

the greatest city to visit and have fun in.

Totally agree, dude.

It's my favorite place to go to for the exact same reason.

Like, dude, you can walk out on the street at fucking 2.30 30 in the morning bro and it's like it's noon and also like you realize that it is funny that you can literally bring up anything and they're like oh yeah we have a store you want elephants feet yeah we have that

okay like anything that you bring up like new york hat any cuisine any type of store whatever you're looking for like you could be like i want pencils or you know i want fucking yeah pens made from metal that are crafted from the 18th century they're like yeah there's a store we're over here you have that like anything you want, that city has, which is like, it just feels like you're, I don't know, like in this manufactured city almost.

Like, it almost doesn't feel real for me.

Still.

What's your favorite place to do to work outside of uh outside of the U.S.

besides London?

Well, I mean, I, when I started like touring as a stand-up, I, I would do Canada a lot.

That was like the first place to to leave the country, even though it's not that big of a departure.

And it was always fun to do those shows up there.

Um, Australia has great, just

they're very fun people.

Like Australians are fun.

So I think it translates to their crowds.

Like I've had a lot of really fun shows in Australia.

The people and the cities are great.

But I've done, you know, I've done stand-up in

South America, in Argentina, in Chile.

I've done Mexico City.

I've done a lot of European cities and I've done Asia too.

I've done Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore.

So all those, like the Asia tour was fucking just so cool because those cities are so different than what we're used to.

And, like, the food is unbelievable.

I've never had better food in my life than in Tokyo.

I had, I knew that it would be good.

I didn't know that, like, did you know what it was, though?

Well, yeah,

yeah.

I didn't know like how amazing,

like you order a salad in Tokyo, and like every bite, you're like, this is the best salad I've ever had.

That's crazy.

And then they're like, you order a fruit plate and you take a bite of a strawberry and you're like, what the?

And then you realize like how poisoned our food is in this country, which is like one of the most backwards things.

You're like, why is our food so bad?

You know, we're just spraying everything with pesticides.

And then

in Tokyo, I mean, I'm not kidding, dude.

Like, you just, you order an omelette or like in the hotel, you're tired.

You're like, we're not going to go out to a nice, crazy, we're just going to go like here in the hotel in the lobby.

And you order a sirloin steak and you take, you're like, this is the best fucking steak I've ever had in my entire life.

Like every meal was like that.

Damn.

Everything we had, we were like, this is amongst the best food I've ever had.

And it was every day, no matter what we had.

And then you order a cup of coffee and you're like, Jesus Christ, this is the best coffee I've ever had in my life.

That's what it was like to eat in Tokyo.

Shit.

Yeah, it was incredible.

I'm not going to go to Tokyo, man.

I like food.

I've never been to Asia at all.

Oh, dude.

Let me tell you, man.

Like, there's there's a lot.

First of all, I should say there's a lot I haven't seen.

But in the place, those, those places that I've been, I mean, Hong Kong is a spectacle.

It is like New York roided up.

Like, it literally, you, like, you think you're seeing the downtown skyline, and then you go like around this bend and you see something like 20 times more buildings.

And you're like, what is happening?

Like, it's this massive, thriving, alive city.

Not that Tokyo isn't, but the thing that stands out from Tokyo is like the Japanese people, the culture.

You know, everybody in Japan, like the cashier at the 7-Eleven takes great pride in being, in his, in their job.

And you, like, you sense it.

You know what I mean?

There is no like, I don't know, man.

There is none of that.

People have like, so you, this, this whole Japanese culture and way of being like, it really is impressive, you know, the, the pride people take in excellence.

It's it's all about the reason like some of those foods are so great is they're like yeah that guy he makes coffee and he's done that for 45 years he takes pride and he takes so much pride in it it's like this meticulous like perfect thing and you see that kind of in all parts of life they are like gracious people like for a city with so many people a lot of people i mean you know On the morning commute, like there's this famous thing you could find online of like the rush of the subway and you don't like it's all organized.

There's no like people like fucking off and like being like, they're like, oh yeah, no one's being an asshole because they know it's rude to be an asshole in the morning.

You know what I mean?

Like in the morning commute.

Like things like that where you're like, wow.

And then Singapore is the cleanest, like, you know,

like may almost make it.

And it's because they beat people's asses.

Yeah, they don't fuck around.

Yeah, up rope.

Yeah.

They fucking cane your ass bare ass right in front of the whole thing.

There's this thing when you land in Singapore where there's signs and you're going up, you're walking up to do,

you know, customs, and it's just like drugs punishable by death.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

And it's like, it's like all over.

And then they hand you the form and it's like, we will kill you for drugs.

And then you're like filling it out and you're like, do I have any drugs on me?

I didn't see drugs since 99.

Fuck, I need to check real quick.

You start to panic.

You're like, I got to go through my backpack real quick.

Cause

what if I have like an edible on me?

They're like, oh, they will hang you.

oh shit but then you get into that city and it's like I mean it's like it's the cleanest place you've ever been people again super polite it's just it's a it's a really cool experience I mean I can't encourage you enough to do an Asia trip yeah that'd be sick dude I got invited to uh by one of the guys on Instagram he runs like all the elephant reserves and he invited us to go over there and uh let's go see the elephants

that'd be cool man let's let's go elephants are sweet they're big Well, they're smart, too, bro.

Yeah.

Super smart.

Yeah.

I hope I don't get confused for one.

You'd probably be able to ride one, man.

I know you can't ride a horse.

Okay.

I can ride a fucking horse.

No, you can't.

You fucking kill the horse.

Tom, you got two boys, right?

I have two boys, yeah.

They're not like little kids, though, right?

Six and nine.

Oh, it's just young.

Yeah.

That's young.

That's young.

Has that changed like your outlook on comedy at all?

The shit you talk about maybe?

I mean, for sure you talk about it because, excuse me,

I always felt like you should just talk about whatever's going on.

Actually happening.

Yeah.

So like,

you know,

when, you know, your first

hour set is like you're in your 20s.

It's just like observations and it's like TV shows.

It's going out, you know, drinking part whatever.

And then, you know, it's like

you're, you get engaged.

You're like, well, I'm going to talk about that.

You know, like you're married like you you know those things that are whatever you're experiencing it's like you know my dad died talk about that you just talk about whatever's happening so like kids sure it's like i don't want to do an hour on having kids but like i always have something because they're they're part of life they're part of my life and

uh you know they're two little wild dudes man they're just just ruining everything we have like basically

they're such little shits yeah and they're both in jiu-jitsu

and it's just like, it's so funny because the older one, he's like, I think I'm stronger than you.

And I'm like, you're definitely not stronger than me, dude.

And he's like, you want to try?

I'm like, yeah, sure.

I mean, you're nine.

I will fuck you up.

And then he'll try to like, you know, mount me.

And I'm like, just pick him up and put him down.

He's like, oh, wow, you definitely are still stronger than me.

Yeah.

I know this doesn't have like a no expiration date, but I'm going to, I'm going to remind you of this for a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got to make it so bad to where you don't even try it again.

What's that?

You got to make it so bad.

bad you don't try it again.

I know.

He's like, he's coming.

It sounds like he's going to keep trying.

It's coming.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

Every day I get home.

He takes his shirt off.

He's like, and he goes, I'm going to be so fucking jacked.

And the thing is, he has like these like, he's like lean.

You know what I mean?

Like, he's already kind of muscular.

And I'm like, I don't want to tell him, but I'm like, yeah, you probably are.

It's coming.

Yeah.

It's coming.

Yeah, man.

You're also the author.

Yeah.

You wrote a book.

We got, I like to play alone, please.

Yeah.

What's that about?

Well, it's a collection of like stories and essays.

And my first, my oldest,

he was doing a lot of like two sent two word things when he was like a little kid, you know, and

kind of like mixing around certain words.

I was like waiting for him to say his first

full sentence.

And then, you know what I mean?

Like he'd be like, I do.

I know.

And I'm like, oh, he's not like, we were waiting for like that first full sentence when he's like, I don't remember, man, like

18 months or two or something like that.

And then one day I got home and I sat down next to him, like in the playroom.

And he just looked up at me.

He goes, I'd like to play alone, please.

And I was like, okay.

So

I was like, that was really exciting that you said a full sentence.

It's also, he was like, get the fuck out of here.

So, but the book is just like a whole collection of stories.

you know, some of them from

my days as a comic, some of them from before then, but like all types of different stories.

Yeah.

Jeez, man.

What did you do before that?

Before

comedy.

Before comedy.

Well, when I graduated college, my actual first

thing I did is I went to Boston and

my friend was doing real estate and he was like.

He's like, this is a crazy, easy way to make a lot of money, which for like a fresh college grad, I couldn't believe it.

The whole system was that if you, Boston has 61 colleges and universities in the Boston metropolitan area, which is a crazy amount.

And all those people need housing.

And so the way it works is like you just,

if you work in a real estate office, people just come in and they're like, I need an apartment.

And then you show them an apartment.

I don't know shit about Boston.

I don't know.

And they're just like, here's this one.

And then if they sign up for it, they have to pay first, last,

and another month's equivalent to the real estate office.

And then as an agent, you get half of that.

So it's like

free money.

Bro, it was just like this thing.

I did it for a few months, but it was one of those things where I was like, even though it was, like, to me, it was a ton of, I mean, I'm 21 and like, they're just like, here's $4,000.

Here's $8,000.

I was like, holy shit.

I was also like, oh, I know I don't want to do this.

It was like a real life lesson because I was like,

if it was just about the money, money, I should stay here and just keep doing this because it's like a crazy amount of money.

But I didn't want to do it.

So then I went to DC and I actually worked for America's Most Wanted.

That was like really

the show.

Yeah.

So I was.

Were you like out fucking hunting people or what?

I mean, I was a, I would, I was a researcher.

So like, but they would, I had interned there in college and then they offered me a gig.

And the job was like, you had, I had to read all these like stories about like fugitives and different crimes.

And then I would go in like the bullpen and pitch to like our story editor, hey, we should do

we should profile this guy.

And you'd give them like the whole story in the background.

And then they would discuss, and then they would go, Okay, we're gonna do that story.

So then you would be kind of like an associate producer on this particular person.

And I did that for our my first day was September 10th, 2001.

Oh, fuck.

So,

yeah, it was a Monday.

And,

and then, yeah, we kind of started doing some different shit after that.

And, but after three months of like, yeah, I hope we get him too.

Uh, I was like, I was like, I don't want to do this anymore either.

So, I moved to LA.

And, uh, my whole, my whole desire in moving to LA had nothing to do with stand-up.

I really thought

that

comedy acting was like what I would do.

Like, you know, I had like, you know, Will Farrell and all these guys.

I was like, I want to do that.

So I kind of went out there with like that objective and I was going to the Groundlings, which is like a comedy improv school and troop.

Like they train you and then they put on shows.

And when I was in that school,

you know, just taking the classes, I met other stand-ups who were like, they were the ones who were like, you should try stand-up.

They were like, I think you would like stand-up.

And I was like, I don't even know what to do.

And these guys kind of took me around to watch them.

Like, hey, watch them do.

I don't know how do you even prepare for it.

And that got me started doing stand-up.

But I always still wanted to do the comedy acting thing, which is like why the show Bad Thoughts is.

Like so fulfilling to me because I also remember that that was like my first dream.

Like my dream was to do stories.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

And so I still love stand.

Like stand-up has been amazing amazing for me and I, it is so fun, but I always wanted to do that shit.

So in my in my head, like making this show feels like, oh, this thing I wanted to do for 20 years.

You know what I mean?

Like it's, it's very fulfilling.

That's real, man.

Dude, so I'm a lot younger, obviously.

Obviously.

Obviously, yeah.

Well, I mean, I know it's hard to tell, you know, black don't crack.

You know what I'm saying?

Plus, you paint your beard.

I get it.

Keep going.

I could be like 40.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't know.

But dude, like, I remember the first time I heard about you.

Yeah.

There was a video at a basketball court.

That's the first time.

That was the first time.

Damn.

Like, that was like memorable for me.

Yeah.

That was pretty memorable.

Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about?

Can we talk about it?

Yeah, sure.

All right.

So

I got the clip.

This is the OG clip.

Let's watch this clip.

You've never seen this, Andy.

No.

I've been roaming around, always looking down.

And

Wait, you're not, it's not the best part, it hasn't happened yet.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Pretty bad.

What kind of injury was that?

Two at the same time.

It was double whammy.

It says shoulder and arm.

No, what happens, like, a lot of people don't know.

So we had been playing basketball for a while.

I mean, how the fuck do you even do that, man?

It's pretty crazy, actually.

Yeah.

And so.

Did you do that on purpose?

Absolutely not.

So what happened was, this is the part that, like, because people only see this clip.

Yeah.

So, right before this,

Bert and I are having a dunk contest.

Okay.

And so

we start, it was a rim that you can lower.

And so we were like, who can dunk higher?

So I'm 247 right there, by the way.

Yeah, you were a thickie.

So we do it seven and a half, eight,

eight and a half,

nine.

I dunk on nine.

He doesn't.

It's over.

Like, I already, I won the comp, like, there was, everyone's like, yay.

And as we're like walking away to do our net, we're going to do something completely different.

One of them is like, hey, man, I think you can go a little higher.

And I was like, huh?

And they're like, I think, I think you got a little, you got a little more room in you.

And I go, I remember internally being like, I don't know, man, that was like, that felt like the kind of the limit, you know?

I was like, okay.

So So they crank it up to 9.3.

So that, like, the hoop is set at 9.3.

I'm back here.

Like, there's a guy off camera.

He's like, hey, man, dig deep.

And I go, I go, all right.

Yeah.

And I remember internally just being like, man, I don't know if I have these extra three inches, right?

That's what I'm saying.

And so

when I'm running there, when I push off, what you don't, well, the reason that's like

my left patellar tendon snaps.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, so the patellar tendon snaps.

And then instinctively, like, it's not a thought thing.

You're, you know, your body, like, I guess, tries to protect your head.

This arm goes here.

I land on it, shatter the arm.

So it was left patellar tendon and left

humerus.

Like, I mean, that's the.

The scar.

I don't know if you can see it from there.

And then I had major nerve damage.

So I had another surgery to take a nerve from here and put it in here.

So, but that happened.

You know, you see the video and it's just like, what is this?

But like, it was that we were doing all this shit.

The real reason that this likely happened is that I was like out of shape.

And like, yeah, I used to play basketball fucking 20 years before then.

And then we just show up one day and you're like, oh, let's like put the demands of like jumping as hard as you fucking can on this out of shape body.

And then your body just goes, nah, bro.

Not today.

That's how it feels, though.

Cause, like, you, you remember that you could do shit.

Exactly.

And you think you could still do shit.

Yeah.

And then you figure out very quickly that

the term that I was told, because you know, I went to the hospital, I had surgery, then I went to recovery center, all this PT, like all this shit.

The term that I had never heard, they were like, oh, you're a, at the top, when you're doing this, you're a deconditioned athlete, meaning like you are, you're so out of shape.

There's a

piece of, You're putting the demands of what you did on yourself.

And you're like, oh, I'm 18.

This is what I used to do.

But your body is like, no, we're not at all prepared for this.

And then your body just goes, go fuck yourself.

Yeah.

Fuck, man.

I saw myself on video.

This is probably about a year ago.

I was,

this is so stupid, but I had this fucking rotted tree in my yard and I was like trying to make a video of like me pushing it over.

Yeah.

And fucking dude.

so like when i pushed it over i like ran three feet and i saw the video and i'm like holy fuck bro like you cannot move anymore yeah and then i showed it to my brother and he's obviously i haven't heard the end of it but yeah yeah dude i'm i'm that

you can't you can't comprehend that like you still got it yeah no you don't you never had it bro well this is like you know

the basketball

Dudes, men in their 40s and basketball, if they're not continuously playing especially, like if they just go, I'm going to play.

I used to play ball.

I'm going to play today.

It is what leads to like the most, like they go, oh, dude, all we see are like ACL, Achilles tears, like all the time.

Because it's, it's, you don't,

basketball is so accessible to us.

Like we all grew up playing, but you don't realize like what kind of demands, if you're not playing regularly, what force you're putting on, you know, like so explosive.

Like it's pivoting, it's jumping as hard as you can.

And if you're doing doing that out of nowhere, it's, you know, it's, it can really obviously have to go out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And look, that looked painful.

Yeah.

It was pretty bad.

Let's talk

YMH studios.

So how long has that been rolling?

Well, I mean, it's the flagship show for us is called Your Mom's House, YMH.

And then we started producing other people's podcasts.

God.

How many do you got now?

I I mean, it's like fucking 15, no, but it's probably like

seven, eight, maybe something like that.

We launched another one, but yeah, I mean, it just became like, you know, we sort of slowly built the infrastructure to do it.

Like, you know,

obviously you start with like the physical space, and then you have a team that can produce.

And like, you know, the tech guys and the social media stuff, like it started to branch out from there.

And then,

yeah, it just became this thing.

And then

we start our own ad sales company.

So instead of having

an outside company, we have an internal company.

So we built an infrastructure to do all this.

And then it just kind of naturally became like this thing for TV film too.

So it started with that.

And then it started to branch out.

Yeah.

So is this in Austin?

It's in Austin.

Yeah.

So, so do people come into the building to record their shows?

Yeah.

So you have multiple studios?

We have multiple studios.

That's fucking cool, man.

Yeah, it's fun.

It's fun.

And

yeah, it's a fun environment.

Like it's, you know, it's a, it's a lot of comedians that are popping in and out and like staff is just fantastic there.

And

yeah, it's like

it's now it just feels like, you know, like the

norm, but it was a slow, for sure, slow process.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool, man.

We thought about, we were thinking about doing something similar up here, but then we figured out that

nobody nobody wants to come here at all.

Yeah, where to your office?

Louis.

Oh, it's a flyover state.

Yeah, that's what a lot of people call it.

Yeah, flyover state.

I mean good food and good people here, man.

I know it's it is.

I mean, look, it's way easier.

It was way easier to book people in LA.

I mean, you know, it's like peep, it's just easy to be like drive down here.

But yeah, we try to like, you know, you monitor monitor schedules, like who's coming in to play the venues and all that stuff.

And sometimes if it works out, it works out.

Some people do fly in for it, you know, which is nice.

I think they sometimes have other business in the city, which helps, right?

If they're coming in for another event.

Yeah, for sure.

Austin's a hub right now.

Yeah.

It's been makes it a lot easier.

It's become really popular.

Sweet, man.

I love it down there, dude.

I think Austin's cool as fuck.

Yeah, it is a good time, man.

It's a good time.

I like walking around.

Like, the people, you know,

a little weird.

Yeah, they're a little left, but like, they're not fucking California left.

No, it's like it's a blue city and a red state, but the thing is, you're still in Texas, dude.

Yeah, like you know what I mean?

And the truth is, I feel like it's actually pretty mixed.

Yeah.

Like when you're in the city, even if you're like, oh, this is a pretty you know, liberal place or whatever.

It's it's just moderately liberal.

And they're cool.

They're not fucking ass.

It wasn't like this pushy shit.

It was cool.

Because we stayed, we went down there a few few weeks ago, a month ago, a couple of months ago.

What was that a couple years ago?

Decade ago.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think

like 1940 or something like that.

1940.

Yeah.

But we stayed right around the corner from the mothership.

Yeah.

And down there.

And it was a sweet area.

Like even at night, I think it was like on Thursday night.

That motherfucker was packed.

Shit was jumping down there.

Sixth Street.

Is it packed like that all the time?

Sixth Street is like, that's where the club is.

That area is a, is a, I mean, yeah, it's a party area.

It's bars and clubs.

And yeah, it's always popping.

man.

Well, sweet, let's get it.

I want to do some reaction clips with you guys.

So I got some viral clips that are happening right now.

Okay.

So we're going to do what we just talked shit on.

A little bit.

Yeah, that's fine.

It's fine.

I think, but no.

I think it's different if we do it.

It's different than we do, for sure.

For sure.

So I got three clips here for you to react to.

This first one, dude, this guy is making rounds around the internet right now.

Okay.

His name is Frederick

vosgrove i believe is his name yeah he looks eastern european he's german oh he's german okay he calls himself the like the german neandrethal oh uh

i mean it suits him

but let's let's check this little hype video from him uh here's the clip

Okay.

Yeah.

I kind of like it.

I'm going to be real.

That's what Savage.

I'm not going to lie.

He scares the shit out of me.

Yeah, there's different humans out there.

And that is, that guy was probably

built to do exactly this,

to laugh like he's got three fucking brain cells firing and

just maul people.

He looks part fucking animal.

Yeah.

How good of a fighter is he?

He's amateur, but I think he's undefeated right now.

Undefeated.

He's an amateur fighter.

He's moving up, but

I think he's at like 320-some thousand on IG right now.

I mean, he's growing.

He's up and coming, huh?

He's up and coming.

Yeah, he's a scary dude.

Dude, that's the kind of dude where you're like, oh, shit.

I'll shoot these.

These kind of guys.

I shoot him.

You just shoot them.

I'm not fighting you.

I see creative marketing play, bro.

Like, if I was like a dog food company, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I'd sponsor this motherfucker.

I'd be like, dude, this dude is straight up on our shit.

Yeah, yeah.

You You know what I'm saying?

You want to be an animal?

Yeah.

Fucking eat this shit.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, there's a play there.

There's a play.

Gunther's a dog, man.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Fucking first human athlete for

dude.

I feel like he looks like a character in the Bible, like a...

A for reality.

He looks like a movie character, like the guy that's in a movie kind of thing.

Like, you shouldn't be in here.

You're in Munich for whatever reason.

And like, you just turn the corner.

He's like, ha ha ha.

And you're like, oh, shit.

Yeah.

Fuck.

You are black.

Get that to my.

Yeah.

No, you better have a gun with that.

Oh, that is.

Fuck you.

I don't even know if that'll work.

Yeah, it might not.

Yeah.

He's just like fucking silver bullets, bro.

Yeah.

That's some different shit.

That's a different, that's right.

That's a different kind of dude right there.

Fuck, man.

Look at his traps.

Good God.

All right.

Next one.

let's go to new orleans you ever been to new orleans many times yeah i like new orleans bro new orleans is sick um they got a new story down in new orleans they had 10 uh inmates escape a jail hell yeah through a cell wall where the toilet was i saw this you saw this oh yeah man yeah so it was a rectangular hole uh in the cell it was big enough to squeeze through and then they actually wrote on top of the walls right above it saying too easy lol suck my dick they wrote too

So let's check this clip.

This is from like the news conference, and they're showing them all leaving out and shit.

Let's check this out.

Bro, what?

What the fuck are we watching?

Oh, they're pulling the door.

They're trying to escape.

Yeah, they broke the fucking doors.

How are you just humping the door?

So you see them jarring open the door.

Because they're trying to get into that cell.

That's the cell that they broke out of.

Subsequently, they go inside that cell, and this is where you see them exiting the loading dock door.

As you know, if you notice, they are carrying blankets with them.

Bro.

This road that they're going out of is behind this building, as I explained.

They subsequently go through another doorway.

Here, at some point, you will see them come through here and they scale the fence through this door that's near the construction site.

Yeah.

They scale that fence and then they good on their escape crossing all lane to the hijack.

Way to stay on top of shit, guys.

The cool thing about this story is that they escaped around 12.30

and the sheriff's office there found out at 8.30 a.m.

Oh, fuck.

And then they notified the public after 10.30.

So it's just a cool little 10 and a half hour head start for these guys.

Well, apparently they caught like two of them.

Two or three, yeah, but that means there's like seven dudes out there still.

I'm surprised they had to escape, bro.

I thought they just let these motherfuckers out now.

I mean, that's true.

They, uh, some of them are, are in for murder.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

For sure.

There's some wild dogs out there right now.

Yeah.

I say they get they get Frederick down there to go check go catch hell yeah.

No, that is it.

That's crazy.

That's wild.

They just moved a toilet and just did a opened a wall and were able to escape and then scale a wall.

And like nobody sees that.

That's really nuts to me.

At a jail, that's our taxpayer dollars, bro.

Yeah,

that is, I feel like a common song should have been playing right there.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, freedom,

bro.

It's like the Shawshank redemption.

That's what it was, bro.

That's what it was.

Um, last one, let's go to some sports.

But I maybe put this in.

All right, so apologies.

Uh-huh.

Let's check this clip out.

This is woman soccer.

That's awesome.

That is awesome.

I can watch that all day.

That's an accomplishment.

Took out two.

Two and one.

That's rad.

Two birds with one stone.

That's an accomplishment.

Bro, did you guys see that baseball clip where the two plays happened at the

two exact same plays happened in the same inning?

Like decades apart?

No, fucking one inning after another.

Yeah, it was the same fucking play.

The dude, you have to look it up, man.

It's fucking crazy.

This is like a glitch in the matrix.

Yes.

100%.

It's unbelievable.

We got to find it and throw it in there.

Because it's like, holy shit.

But anyway,

the dude hits a ground ball at the third baseman, goes off his hip, shortstop catcher, throws him out at first.

Same count, same inning

like everything's the same same batter no no but it's one team does it and then the next team does

like in the same inning yeah

yeah dude it's like you can overlay the clips i don't know and they're yeah dude i'm

i don't know either man yeah that's that's that's the freaky stuff that does make you go like what is happening here i got it you got it bro it's admit it For real, like there's shit that's happening and it seems to be happening more and more.

It's like, fuck, like, are we really in the Matrix?

We know the aliens are coming, dude.

Dude, they're telling us, dude.

Did you know?

Did you know that fucking the late?

Did you know that the lady who wrote the you probably know this, but like, I didn't know this till recently, but the lady who wrote the Matrix also wrote Terminator.

Oh, I heard about that.

Yeah.

And she said that, like, that, like, it's supposed to be like a fucking sequel or whatever.

Yeah, John Connor is supposed to be Jesus Christ to save the world from

artificial intelligence.

And bro, the interview is fascinating.

I can't think of her name.

You got that clip though?

Yeah, I got the clip here.

Yeah, here it is.

Same, all right, stop.

Check this out.

Same inning.

That's the same game.

Same inning, same pitch speed, same fucking count,

same number of outs in the inning, same play.

Yeah, it's weird.

And that's not like a,

if you guys aren't watching this, it's not like it's a regular ground ball.

Like,

play one more time, dude.

Watch the position of the players.

Yeah, that's

that's

freaky.

That is crazy.

Yeah.

What are the odds of that?

The way, especially because of where it went and then the bounce.

Yeah.

The shortstop on both.

And dude, that was one.

That's the top of an inning the bottom of an inning same pitch speed same count

same exact play

like

dude

yeah i wonder if everyone in that stadium was like

what's going on i don't know man like dude i more and more shit's happening where i'm like fuck man we do you follow all because my wife is obsessed with all the alien shit

dude i cover it we cover it yeah we cover it pretty regularly but like i I'm not like super, super, super into it.

Yeah, because she follows like all the congressional

hearings and shit.

Well, just I don't know one thing real aliens or the government.

You know what I'm saying?

But like it's one of the things that's really crazy is like you we used to have this thing where you'd be like, what if, you know?

And then you have these whistleblowers that were like, you know, working

in top secret places in the government.

They came out and they go like, here's all this shit.

and that they need like security because they're scared they're gonna get killed and they basically go you know we we do have um

you know

uh whatever uaps and we have uh

alien bodies basically and we've had them for years and then you're like why how come nobody is reacting like it's so weird that everyone's like they confirm it they're like

we do have this and everyone's like yeah anyway and you're like wait that doesn't freak people out anymore right like i always felt like it was strange that you would have somebody confirm this stuff.

And we've had these and so has China has one.

And like, you know, different governments have these bodies and has this technology, like with reverse engineering technology.

And then everyone's like, yeah, okay.

Dude, it was weird how they did that.

They did that shit during COVID.

Yes.

you know, all this shit was COVID was going on and they fucking run in the death count and all this shit.

And then they're like, oh, by the way, aliens are real.

Aliens are real.

And no one said anything.

but nobody cares yeah that was weird because communicated with for our lifetime that's been the big debate yeah are aliens real or are they not of course and it's just like yeah you know uh it came out and then people are more worried about their tick tock dances to even they don't even mention it yeah yeah even it actually even makes it feel more uh like deliberate and calculated that they would kind of like slow play it during a time of unrest and and have it just kind of like you know here you go and then everybody's just like yeah and then you have people going wait don't you want to yeah make this a bigger deal and I don't care see I don't know if it's like a real thing or if it's fucking like the government you know what I'm saying well like the conditioning shit man I don't know it seems like there was a lot of people that didn't want like these these the whistleblowers were terrified yeah you know so I don't think that like it doesn't feel like the government was trying to say like go ahead and do that you know but the funny thing is that these guys were terrified terrified to say what they said, and then basically people were like, I don't care.

Yeah.

Anyways, like, does Michelle Obama have a dick or not?

Like, that's what they're worried about.

Yeah, bro.

It's crazy.

No shit, dude.

It's weird.

It is weird, man.

Tom, can we do another game?

I got another game for him.

What's the game?

WWTD.

Okay.

What would Tom do?

What would Tom do?

Sure.

Okay.

Let's just.

All right.

all right.

So, I got three scenarios for you, all right.

And I need your real reaction to what you would actually do here.

Okay, okay, your son Julian joins Antifa.

I mean, cut him out of the will, that's for sure.

I mean,

like, what the fuck are you doing?

He's such a fiery little dude, it's absolutely hilarious.

We call him Joe Pesci at the house because he's always like, The fuck is this shit doing here?

Like, no,

how do you talk like that, man?

Have you ever had to deal with antifit all have i had to deal with them no no you never had like like because i'm sure you get like countless fucking you know hate whatever you want to call it hate comments and shit like that but you never had like fit like actual issues no i've never had anything like that i also i'm trying to picture my youngest he's like he likes he sleeps with an eye mask when he's six he's like i need an eye mask i'm like dude like he's he it's way too uncomfortable for him to join

he would be like wait we have to go where

he's already

He's like, he's six, and he's like, Can I get a massage today?

I'm like, a massage?

He's like, he's cush, bro.

Yeah,

he's living a good life.

Oh, that's true.

He's not joining.

But I don't know.

I think I'd be so impressed that he actually was willing to be.

Sounds like your older one would be the fucking leader, bro.

Was that?

He'd be the leader.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He'd get him in shape, bro.

Thank that.

Older one, I think he would be like

the one who would be like, oh, we're fucking, we're going to break shit.

He's like, yeah, I'm in, bro.

I know.

I would be, no, hell no.

All right.

Next one, your dog only responds to gender-neutral pronouns.

We're really big when people, we have a cat now.

And when they go,

she's beautiful.

We always go, don't misgender my cat.

So

we would definitely stand up.

Yes.

We like to take it seriously.

Yeah, that's real.

We do that shit too, bro.

Everybody thinks Charlie's a boy.

Yeah.

Everybody, we got two bulldogs, and everybody thinks the girl one who is very clearly a fucking girl.

Very clearly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We always correct them.

Don't misgender my cat.

Yeah.

Bro, there's this dude.

I think, what's his name?

I think his name is Gino on Instagram.

So he does this thing where he hops in trans people's fucking lives, like live streams.

He's like, oh, I see you have a dog.

And I'm like, yeah, this is, you know, Bruno.

And it's like, is it a girl or a boy?

I'm like, oh, Bruno's a boy.

And then he's like, how do you know?

And they get so pissed.

Oh, boy.

It is the, like, I absolutely love that content.

It's very easy to troll those people.

Dude, it's so easy.

Yeah.

It's so easy.

All right.

I got one more for you.

Okay.

You find out your mom has been catfishing men on Facebook using your headshots from your Netflix special.

Dude, I applaud her.

Yeah.

Just for being

crazy.

And like, you've been doing some awesome content with your mom.

Yeah,

she's a real piece of work.

So

she's got a lot of personality.

So yeah, we bring her around a lot.

She's very disapproving of most of the things I do, which is kind of fun.

You know, like she hated the show so much.

Really?

She hates.

She called me.

She goes, I finished it.

And then was just quiet on the phone.

And I go, what'd you think?

She goes, it's horrendous.

She goes, it's the worst thing.

She goes, I have friends.

Do you know how embarrassing it is

that I have to see my friends after this?

I'm like, I don't know what to say.

And she was like, anyway.

I I go, that's the phone call was just to tell me you hated it?

She was like, yes.

Okay.

So, yeah.

And then she always says this shit.

She's like, I go, that's really nice.

She goes, well, I can't help but be myself.

And I go, you could try.

You could try to be somebody else.

I think we would all appreciate it if you weren't you.

Thanks, Bob.

Yeah.

I would love if she was into catfishing people.

Right, right.

It would be solid, man.

That'd be solid.

Sweet, man.

We kind of did this on short notice.

Tom was coming in to get swole.

Yeah, man.

I can't wait.

Your gym looks unbelievable.

Thank you for letting us work out.

Oh, bro.

Listen, man.

Anytime, dude.

Anytime you come through,

thanks for sitting down with us, man.

My pleasure, man.

It's a little short podcast we did on short notice this morning.

But, dude, I really appreciate it.

Appreciate you, too.

Thanks.

It was a lot of fun, guys.

Yeah.

And,

dude, you know.

I really fucking appreciate how, I just want to say this.

I really appreciate how

not just good you are at what you do, but how meticulous you are about it.

I think it's fucking awesome, dude.

Oh, thanks.

And I don't think people understand like how much work and attention to detail and,

you know,

strategy and everything goes into like what you guys do and learning more and more about it.

It's, it's fucking cool, man.

Thank you, man.

I appreciate that.

Really appreciate it.

All right, guys.

Tom, thank you, brother.

Thanks so much.

All right.

And we will

see you next time.

Don't be a hoe.

Share the show.

We're sleeping on the floor.

now my jury box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank roll.

Can't fold, that's a no.

Headshot, case clothes, clothes.