854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have Q and AF that's where goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality.
Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers.
Now, you could submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions into askandy at andyfusela.com.
Or go on YouTube in the comments section of the Q&AF episodes. Drop your question in the comments.
We'll choose some from there as well. If you're new, we don't just do Q&A.
OK, we've got shows within the show. All right.
Tomorrow you're going to hear CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet.
This is where we cruise the Internet. We put topics up on the screen.
We talk about what's going on. We speculate on what is true and what is not true.
And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're going to get a real talk.
Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. You might call it a rant.
I call it what you need to hear. And then we have 75 hard verses.
Okay. 75 hard verses is where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show.
They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to extinguish the dumpster fire of their life, all right? If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the world's premier mental toughness program. It's the most popular mental toughness program in the history of earth.
Okay. And it happens to be just the first phase of the live hard program, which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.
Again, that's 208 on the real AF audio feed, which is available anywhere audio podcasts are. Okay.
There's also a book. You can get the book at andyfrosella.com.
It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. It includes the entire Live Hard program, plus a whole bunch of extra content on mental toughness, why it's important, how to utilize it to change your life.
Okay, and you can get that at andyfrosella.com. It is not free, but it has a ton of useful info that you will not find on episode 208.
But if you just want the program, you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Now we have something that we do a little different here.
We don't run ads. We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads.
Okay. In exchange for that, we do ask something.
I don't ask for your money. I ask very simply that you help us grow the show all right so if it makes you think if it makes you laugh it gives you new perspective it's something that you think people need to hear do us a solid don't be a hoe share the show all right what's up what's going on uh you know i was thinking we got mfco coming back and like i don't think i ever asked like like, where did the name come from? Like, how did you come up with MFCO? It's actually a funny story.
So there was a commercial many, many, many years ago that you can still find on YouTube that K-Swiss did with Kenny Powers. The Shoebrae.
Okay, yeah, K-Swiss. The Shoebrae.
shoe brand i had some case was back in my day yeah i bet you did and the the uh the gist of the commercial is that kenny powers is the ceo of k swiss okay and uh the opening line of the of the video is uh konnichiwa i I'm Kenny Powers, and I am the new motherfucking CEO of K-Swiss. Got it.
All right, so back then, my employees, because I like to curse, especially when I'm giving passionate speeches to our team, started calling me MFCEO. And they got me a shirt that said MFCEO.
And I started wearing the shirt. And when we decided that we were going to create a podcast, we just decided to call it that.
MFCEO Project. And the reason it was called a project was because we were trying to create a whole bunch of other MFceo uh to take control of their lives you know have a little swagger learn how to win make some money be a good person and have fun doing it so that was where the name came i do like it and it stuck i mean like fuck dude i pretty sure uh more people know me as that than they know of that commercial yeah right no I think No, no, I think that's a fact.
That's a fact. I do that.
Why did you say you bet I wore K-Swiss? What was it? What? You said you bet I wore K-Swiss? Yeah. What does that mean? Well, I mean, you're a little bit light in the twinkle toes.
You know what I'm saying? You know? I'm just saying. Okay.
No, that's cool, though. No, I i accept because like dude like i feel like most people they they're at least maybe it's an old level of thinking but like most people look at business and see it as such this like dry thing and i feel like you know when i see you you don't see that at all you see life you see fucking passion you see dry like you don't really see that a lot i guess but business well i think other thing, right? Look, man, nobody wants to come work with some dry turd, okay, who's been sitting out in the sun and you're going to go pick it up with a fucking grocery bag and it crumbles in your hand.
That is the epitome of most leaders in corporate America and nobody wants to work like that. So I've just always kept it real, bro.
I say what I think. I think what I say.
I communicate the way I communicate and sure there's been some people that didn't like it, but guess what? It's my fucking business. I run it the way I want.
And if you don't want to work here, you don't have to. So the people here sort of reflect that mentality.
Now, everybody might not be, you know, the same way I am, which they're not, but they appreciate the realness and the authenticity and who I am on this show is who I am in real life. Any of you guys that ask my close friends, because I hear this all the time, is he really like, yes, I'm really fucking like that.
This is how I talk in real life. And I just don't know any other way to be bro.
Like every other time I've tried to like clean it up or be a little shit. Yeah.
I fucked up. And, and, um, I got some advice one time.
I don't know. This was like five or six years ago from somebody that I respected who told me, you know, when you go on stage and you do that, you know, it's just, it's not a good look and, you know, you need to clean it up.
And then I tried to clean it up, dude. And like, I sucked.
And like, dude, I just, I just have found that authenticity is the most important ass true authenticity. You may not be like me.
It doesn't like a lot of people hear authenticity and they think you got to curse or you got to talk loud or you got to be this. You're trying to manufacture a version of authenticity that someone else is showing you, which means it's inauthentic to you.
And so true authenticity, in my opinion, is the most important and effective leadership tool that one can have. And I also think it's the most important and effective branding tool that one can have.
And we see this online. Like I see a lot of you guys trying to create a personal brand.
You're trying to, I mean, dude, my personal brand is so strong. I don't even have to fucking post.
Okay. And the reason that is, is because it's super authentic to me.
I'm my own thing. And a lot of you guys, you see a version of something from someone else and you try to make that you into that version because you admire that person.
And what ends up happening is you're really just a watered down, not as good version of

that. And it gets no attention.
And what people have to understand about authenticity, which is, you know, the basis is that we all are built with our true authentic being inside of us. And most people are too afraid to ever let anyone see that because it's not in line with who everybody else already thinks they are right all right they would rather risk trying to be like somebody else it's not just that bro you got to understand they come through school they go through grade school they go through junior they go through high school.
And what is the natural process through that? Well, the natural process through our schooling system is to fall in line or you're an outcast. Okay.
Be like everyone else or you're not cool. Be like these people or you don't have any friends at the lunch table.
So we start to learn this idea of conformity very early in life. And when we're little, people say, oh, you could be anything you want.
You could do anything you want. You can build, you could be president.
And as we grow up, right, you can sort of see this. In grade school, your teachers might say, well, yeah, you know, DJ, you could be president.
You get to junior high and they're like, well, you could be, but you know, you've got to have this and this and this. And then by high school, they're like, you need to be more realistic.
You're going to turn wrenches or whatever they say, which by the way, some of my best friends and most talented people that I know turn wrenches for a living. And they're, so it's not a knock, but the point is, is that you get talked out of your own belief and your own authenticity and your own dreams for conformity that is forced.
And that's why people have such a hard time ever developing or even knowing or discovering who they are as a person. And for you to develop an authentic brand, the best thing I can give you, dude, the best piece of advice that I can give you is to let it fucking rip, dude.
Whatever comes out of your mouth, however it comes out of your mouth, whatever you're thinking, just let it go out. And your product will develop over time if you follow that play.
But to start it in the first place, to ever have a good authentic product for personal brand has to start with you knowing who you truly are. And we all know who we truly are, but we all don't have the courage to allow the world to see that.
It's this little idea that we have inside of our heart, this little version of ourselves that, you know, we, we sort of imagine and fantasize about and think about that. We're like, man, if anybody really knew this, I'd be the greatest of all time at this, but we don't let it out because we're afraid of what we've been conditioned behaviorally to understand, which is conformity wins.
And in reality, conformity doesn't win. It's authenticity.
So it's counterintuitive to what people grow up with and the cultural conditioning that they deal with through the schooling process. And that's why people have such a hard time understanding what authenticity really is and even harder time expressing that.
So, you know, a lot of you guys building a personal brand or you want to have people want to follow you. You need to develop this truly authentic version of yourself because, dude, people know when they're getting it and they can feel it.
It's an energy whether it's you know got the language that they like or not it doesn't matter because authenticity is the ultimate competitive advantage because no one else can be your authentic self so if you're trying to be like everybody else and you're trying to be a different version of andy or goggins or Jocko or whoever you might look up to, all you are is a watered down version of that, which doesn't get the attention because the real version is that much better. So what version of you is actually you lay that out there and then continue to develop upon that.
And that is how you become successful leader and build a brand that people resonate with. Yeah, I love it, man.
I call that a little extra sauce right there, bro. Well, I mean, it's something that I see a lot of you guys struggling with, quite honestly.
I could come on here and be like, yeah, you guys all suck. But that's not it.
It's not that you suck, dude. You guys are trying to guys are trying to do little content reels and you're getting no views.
It's not res because all you're doing is repeating the shit that other people that you look up to have said. And the people that follow you have already heard it from that person.
They know that. Yes.
And they might not say that. They might not say, hey, you know, so-and-so says that or so-and-so but they've already seen it dude they've never seen the authentic you so like the biggest piece of advice that i could give someone is just to be who the fuck you are because that version is not copyable by other people when it's authentic there's no one out there that can do me better than me fucking no one tell me someone out there no yeah you can't do it doesn't exist okay there's nobody out there that can do jocko better than jocko there's nobody out there that can do gary v better than gary v there's no one out there that can do goggins better than goggins there's no one out there that can do anybody better than the original version of that person's authenticity.
And that applies to you as well. So if you want to know why you're struggling, ask yourself an honest question.
Am I actually communicating and being and developing who I really am? Or am I trying to be a version that I have consumed from someone else at some point in time. Because if it's the second part, you're always going to struggle.
And if you're authentic and you keep developing your authentic personality and delivery and language and who you are, that will eventually become your competitive advantage. Like, that's what it is.
That's how it is, man. I love it.
I. It is Monday, dude.
Let's make some people better. Let's do it.
You caught me with a drink in my mouth. That's fine.
By the way, I haven't had one of these first form energies in a while. Andy's about to become a pilot.
Since about an hour ago.

I start punching some holes in drywall, baby.

That green one's dangerous, bro.

It's Diet Mountain Dew, dude.

Yeah, be careful.

And I love Diet Mountain Dew.

But you got to remember, only the regular full Mountain Dew is the one that makes you punch holes.

That's where they cut out. It's a full throttle one?

That's why it's called diet.

Yeah, right.

They cut out the hole punching.

So you still want to, you just don't.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get it.

That makes sense.

Thank you. makes you punch holes that's where that's where they cut out full throttle that's why it's called diet yeah right they cut out the hole punching so you still want to you just don't yeah yeah i get it that makes sense i like it man well anyway you guys want to uh support the show you guys always ask how can we support you could support by sharing the show which a lot of you do but a lot of you don't do motherfuckers horse hose you can also buy these first form energy drinks meat sticks and protein bars at your local convenience store and if they don't have it at your local convenience store you can say what the fuck are you guys doing that's how you help us out that's it that's the way to do it man well that being said i got three good ones for you guys let's knock these out guys andy question number one it's so good it is good man it's good all right guys question number one hey andy i hope you guys and the team are doing good and kicking ass my question today is how can i avoid being cocky once i start doing good and on a parallel path to winning because i saw a lot of people fall off once they start winning a little or even win once, like Tim Grover says.
I've been doing good lately and been making great progress and I'm gonna start getting paid more in the next coming months. And I need your advice on how I can manage that, manage my finances and my life on that.
I don't wanna feel like I'm at the top of the world because of the high testosterone a 20-year year old would have just because I'm doing it, doing good for a couple of months. I started 75 hard and started being more focused and I regimented as I can be.
But I felt twice because I didn't hit my mark of drinking a gallon of water. Your advice and impact is greatly appreciated.
And I love what you and your team do because you're really shaping the next generation of men in society How not to fuck up the path you're trying to go on Andy. How do you do it? You are 20 years old All right, let me tell you something that happens to 20 year old cocky motherfuckers You think you're winning right now.
You are not winning. You couldn't possibly be winning because you're 20 all right you don't know shit you don't know anything about life you don't know anything about business and the fact that you've won a little bit honestly is probably very fortunate and i hate to use the term lucky but i'll just say you're fortunate because I'm going to be polite.
You need to understand that if you start to believe that you are winning now, this is the best that you will ever get. I am 45 years old.
I have, by all standards, achieved every single goal that I set for myself when I was your age. All right.

And most people would look at me. standards achieved every single goal that I set for myself when I was your age.

All right.

And most people would look at me.

I think almost everybody would look at me and say, that's a very successful man.

I do not feel successful at all.

I feel like a speck of dirt that has been overlooked, that is way behind, that is hungrier than ever to win. So we have to recalibrate how you are thinking and how you are thinking should be, dude, I don't have any option but to go win.
And I have to win so big because I have to take care of myself. I have to take care of my family.
I have to take care of my friends. Because once you become that big of a winner, that's the reality of winning.
You become the epicenter for everybody else around you. Every single person in your life will probably end up surviving because of what you're doing in your business, in your professional life.
So let's break this down. How do you compare to me? Would you say you're winning compared to me? Okay.
Now I take that and I say, well, how do I compare to Jeff Beff bezos all right do i think i'm winning compared to jeff bezos absolutely not all right and you aren't winning either so to ask how do i keep from getting cocky or stay from getting cocky uh well you have to plant your fucking feet reality, bro, because you haven't done shit yet. All right.
So, and this is also where you have to understand what the meaning of humility actually means. The meaning of humility has nothing to do with the car you drive and the house you live in or all this other shit that broke people tell you.
The meaning of humility has to do with your understanding that you are a result of your actions and not a result of you just being great. You are winning a little bit because you did things that others were not willing to do.
And if you want to continue to grow and continue to scale and continue to win over the course of your life, which you need to because you're not winning right now.

You think you are, but you're not.

You need to do a couple things.

One, you need to embody the true sense of humility, which is this.

I am the result of my actions.

And when my actions stop, my success will stop.

And you also have to understand that you are no better than anybody else, because if anybody else had executed the actions that you have executed, they would also be in your position.

So how could you think it's you when if anybody else did the same exact things you did, you would be where they would be where you are? So start to understand the true definition of humility. and contrary to what all the fucking losers say on the internet it's very important to find people that compare yourself to to remind you that you have a long way to go.
All right? And we have all these people on the internet who say, oh, comparison is the thief of joy. And never compare yourself to anybody.
Yeah, bro, that's what losers do. Winners always compare themselves to people.
They're always competing competing they're always working to get better they're always working to surpass that person that they look at as the inspiration for their success and guess what the people who do that are the people who do end up surpassing that person and they continue on a path of growth over the long haul and And by the way, I talked about this a few episodes. You need to adopt, and I guess this is the third part of it, you need to adopt the mentality of raising the bar before you actually hit your goal.
Okay? Yes, I have achieved every goal that I ever set out for myself when I was 20. But right now, at mid-40s, I have not achieved any of my goals because my goals have been raised.
And what losers do is they hit their goal and then they're like, oh, I made it. I'm the best.
And they walk around talking about how they're the hardest shit in the world. When in reality, those people will be broke in two or three years because all the action that they were executing that produced this stops the point they think they made it so you have to understand how champions think champions will raise the bar over and over and over again and play the game for life okay and when they get close to where they're trying to go and they start to think about man i'm actually going to hit that automatically dude the the goals change and get that much bigger and then they pass their original mark without even really recognizing it all right so it's important to take some time and look back once in a while and say all right i hit that goal but if you want real success and i'm about generational wealth for real, you have to have the mentality that people who generate that have.
And yes, you're not going to live the conventional life that everybody else gets to live. You're not gonna have, quote unquote, the balance everybody talks about having.
Those rules are for them. They're not for entrepreneurs.
They're not for champions. They're not for successful people.
The rules that the people in the stands on Sunday in NFL play by and the rules that the players play by in their life are two different sets of fucking rules. And you have to decide, do you want to be a player or do you want to be a spectator? What do their lives look like? And I use sports a lot because it's easy for you guys to understand the life of tom brady looks a hell of a lot different than the life of the fan watching tom brady okay and you have to ask yourself which one you want to be and then you have to understand guys like tom brady guys are at the highest they they they don't get everything they get some things and you guys all think man i really like to have what tom brady had but then you still want these other things and they're not always possible so you have to really decide and this goes back to the authenticity part you have to and i'm not here to tell you what the fuck you should want for yourself i'm here to offer the information to the people who want to win as big as possible that's what the fuck i'm'm.
If you think I'm talking to you and you're vibing and you're like, yeah, I want to win. Fuck yeah.
If you're sitting there saying, well, that doesn't sound. Then I'm not talking to you, bro.
I'm talking to these guys over here. You go over there.
Go listen to somebody that makes you feel good for fucking not doing shit. There's plenty of them.
Plenty of it. There's plenty of them out there.
They'll make you feel good for being a fucking loser. Right.
Okay? I'm not one of those guys. If you're going to stand in my camp and you ain't doing shit, I'm going to tell you you're a fucking loser.
All right? So decide what it is you want authentically. And it's very important that that is an authentic decision because if you pick the path of entrepreneurship and you're not willing to live that life,

you will be fucking miserable.

It will ruin your life because it is just that fucking hard, okay?

If you're not willing to deal with that,

go over there, bro.

No one's judging you.

You're gonna be way happier, okay?

Stop consuming shit like my information.

Stop listening to all this success shit

if that's not what you actually want to do because all it's going to do is make you feel bad about yourself all right and like i said there are lots of people out there that will make you feel good for just fucking floating through life and that's usually the most popular people okay just go go to the uh self-help version or category on podcasts and go to the top three and they'll all tell you how special you are how great you are and how you need to relax and take a break and take a breather and it's not about making money it's about this and balance and all this other shit that's why they make those shows i'm not that show motherfucker i'm about winning okay so you have to understand that this is very hard it has to be an authentically true choice for you and then you have to understand that you're not going to get everything that those guys want, but you're going to get other things that are fucking awesome. But back to the original question.
Look, man, you're 20 years old. You haven't done shit.
You're fucking legitimately broke. I don't give a fuck what your bank account says.
You're broke. And you need to get over the fact that you think you've done anything because you haven't all right so humble yourself understand you still have a lot to learn and then whenever you get to where you want to go right now remember you still ain't shit okay because Elon Musk fucking could lose some change out of his pocket by my whole fucking life all right so there's always levels to it right there yet they're not and my goal is to build the next fucking iconic american brand aka nike so when i look at people that i look up to who do i look up to i look at people who have done that who's done that phil knight's done that so until i'm fucking beating phil knight i haven't done shit all right which means there's a possibility that I could never be Phil Knight which means I'll always but I'm committed to that that's my choice you committed to that yeah and by the way I will fucking beat him so that's the answer I love it man yeah I love what off of this this actually leads perfectly into our second question people look back on that clip in 30 years and be like, holy fuck.
Yeah. 30, bro.
Maybe fucking 10. Maybe.
But I'm just saying for sure in 30. I don't care.
No doubt in 30. That's a whole other thing.
That's a whole other thing. Let's just address this.
Let's talk about it. Let's address this.
There is a drastic difference between people who are definitely going to win. And I, like when I talk to people, I can tell if they're going to win or not.
And I very simply, and you're probably wondering, well, how are you're probably full of shit? You're psychic, Andy. No, I have been alive enough to recognize a massive difference between people who make it and people who don't make it.
People who make it are committed, meaning they do not give a fuck how long it takes. I do not fucking care how long it takes me to win this battle.
I don't care. It could take me till I'm 90.
It could take me till I'm 55. I don't give a fuck, but it's going's gonna happen and that is how people think that win people who do not win or say shit like this i'm gonna retire at 35 i'm gonna fucking retire a motherfucker i will crush you you're playing on an unrealistic time frame okay which means eventually you're gonna get burned out you're going to quit or you're going to lose to someone who doesn't give a fuck how long it takes.
So unless you're going to invest in entrepreneurship with your life to the point of I don't care how long it fucking takes, don't do it. Don't do it because you'll lose to people who do.
Fuck, man. I love it, man.
Like I said, this topic, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question. You know, talking about, you know, trying to stay on the path.
Hey, did we get, sorry, did we get live call-ins going yet? Yeah, we got it all figured out. So you heard it from the man right there, guys.
We're having live call-ins real soon for Q got it all figured out so you heard it from the man right there guys we're having live call-ins real soon for q a so we're gonna have a way for you to call in you're gonna talk to me directly and i'm gonna tell you how fucking stupid you are we'll be flipping the coin yeah flip the coin that's what it is uh but no i mean i don't mean to tell you stupid but i am gonna tell you the truth yeah i'm gonna going to tell you like this kid here bro if you had called in and said that I would have fucking burned your ass you would have never forgot it yeah but but in 20 years you'd be like thank you I can't wait for the live call-ins bro yeah no but I mean this this kind of this conversation goes perfectly into our next question though right like staying on the path you know understanding you're not? Question number two, Andy, I'm an ambitious person. I've always had big goals and I'm proud of my work ethic, but lately I feel like I'm always chasing the next achievement without enjoying what I already have.
I reach a goal and instead of celebrating, I immediately think what's next. Good.
I don't want to lose my drive, but I also don't want to spend my whole life feeling like happiness is always just one step away How can I find balance between striving for more and actually appreciating the present? Because your your problem is is that you're misjudging where happiness comes from Happiness does not come from you getting to a certain place It comes from you enjoying enjoying the process of getting to the place. And you have to have three elements to become happy as an entrepreneur.
You have to have purpose. You have to have discipline.
All right. And if you have those two things, then you have to have gratitude.
Okay. So if you have a purpose, here's my purpose.
This is the problem I'm going to solve and not, this is how much money I'm going to make. This is the problem I'm going to solve.
All right. That's your purpose.
Then you have discipline, which you can build. That's the whole point of live hard program.
All right. And you can get into a position and build yourself into a version of you that can control the controllables because the controllables that you are in control of will dictate the outcome of your life most people believe that it's up to circumstance or happenstance or the weather's bad or i didn't get this thing yeah you might not get those things that's why the rest of the fucking time you've got to be in control of your decisions you got to be able to control what you drink you got to be able to control what you.
You got to be able to control what you drink. You got to be able to control what you eat.
You got to be able to control that you're going to execute when the circumstances are not ideal because you understand that everybody else is stopping and you're continuing to go. You've got to develop these skill sets of grit, perseverance, discipline, all of the things that create what we call mental toughness.
Okay. When you become in control of the things that you can control, your self-esteem rises, your self-worth rises, the respect you get from others goes up.
All right. And that combined with a purpose is going to make you feel pretty good.
You're going to feel like, man, I'm the fucking man, bro. I got this big purpose.
I know I can do it because there's nothing I can't do. All right? Then you add in gratitude, which is, man, I know that I got a long way to go, but man, let's look at what I did.
This is a big deal. All right? And that is the hardest thing for a truly driven and ambitious person to do, the gratitude part, because we're always focused on the future but you should take some time every day whether it be through prayer or whether it be just through gratitude a minute two minutes five minutes that's all you fucking need okay you don't need to sit there in your morning routine for two fucking hours meditating to be grateful for what the fuck you've done.
All right. So you don't, you need

to stop looking at happiness as a destination. This is where everybody fucks it up.
Okay. It is not a destination.
It is every single day of your life. You create happiness by executing against your purpose.
What am I here to do? Who am I here to help? What problems am I solving and taking action towards that every day? Then being disciplined. Okay.
I'm in control of the controllables. I can control what I eat.
I control what I drink. I control how I move.
I control what information I put in. I control who I hang out with.
I can control the messages I put out. And all of those things will dictate your outcome way more than the negative circumstances that happen to literally every single fucking human on the face of the earth.
All right? And then you take a little bit of time every day and you say, man, you know what? I might not be where I want to be, but shit, dude, this is the stuff I used to pray for These are the things I used to want more than anything

Just take a minute to look around, dude

And be grateful

Even when I had no money

I always was grateful

And part of my prayer process

Was I always thank God that he made me, me

Alright?

And I wouldn't trade places with anybody else

I wouldn't trade places with Michael Jordan

Or fucking whoever

I wouldn't do that

Thank you. That he made me, me.
All right? And I wouldn't trade places with anybody else. I wouldn't trade places with Michael Jordan or fucking whoever.
I wouldn't do that. I'm happy to be me and I'm grateful to be me.
And when I didn't have anything, I was grateful for the opportunity to become what it is I have become now. And built what I have built now.
And create what I have created now. But now, like you're saying, I've raised the bar.
Okay. So this is how you get there without over celebrating and still being happy.
All right. It's not a destination.
It's something you create through execution on your purpose, exercising controllable discipline and being grateful every day. I love that.
I feel like another thing here, we got to remove a fallacy. And by the way, before you ask me that, I want to address this.
The fact that you don't celebrate is not a bad thing because here's what mostly happens. We have a 20-year-old kid in the first.
He's asking, well, how do I not be so cocky? You know why he's cocky? Because he's celebrating and he's like fuck look how great i am i'm so good you ain't shit bro okay so when we start to think about what happens when people celebrate usually progress stops because people celebrate it feels good they continue to do the uh thing that feels good and then you know they end up at 40 years old talking about how they won the MVP of their high school football game. Right.
All right. So that's how that happens.
Over-celebrating, attaching your identity to the past, not the present or the future. All right.
So over-celebrating is the most damaging thing that I've ever seen achievers do. And it's sad because those people are capable of achieving far more than what they actually end up achieving because they stick to this thing they did that was great one time.
Guess what, man? People trip and fall into greatness at least once in their life, okay? You shouldn't attach your identity to it. I don't give a fuck what I did in the past.
I don't think about it. I don't dwell on it.
I don't think about conversations I had in the past. I don't think about, I don't think about any of that shit.
I am always focused on what I'm doing today and what's going to happen in the future. And I have not found someone who is continuing to win over and over and over again who talks about their past and if you pay attention you can see this all right watch some of these old nfl guys that do announcing for for their games all they fucking talk about they'll start out with this it's it's annoying as fuck to me this is why i notice it well when i used to play it was this and they go on this story of when i used to play but then you look at those guys lives and they're not actually doing anything besides talking about their past for a living all right so they're they're not building companies they're not leveraging their football success they're not you know'm saying? They get stuck in the past.
Now think about that. You probably all have a friend who was an ex-athlete, and all they fucking talk about is how many home runs they hit or how fucking many touchdowns they scored in a game or that one game I ran for 200 yards.
Yes, so what, what are you doing now? What are you doing now?

What did you do today?

All right.

So that's what we need to focus on.

And we need to quit thinking that not celebrating is such a bad thing because it's, it actually creates way more good in the world.

The more you win, the more good that you create.

So I wouldn't feel bad that you're not a big celebrator.

I am, I am probably the worst celebrator of all time.

Thank you. you create so i wouldn't feel bad that you're not a big celebrator i am i am probably the worst celebrator of all time and it is what i that it's it's i think it's responsible for for the the continual growth path of going more and more and more and more more yeah it's not about what you're doing it's what you're doing that's real i don't put any value in that yeah like, bro, and by the way, I fucking expect to win.

My expectation is to win. I'm not hyped when I celebrate or when I win.
I'm like, okay, that's how it's supposed to go. Yeah, you're not surprised.
No, not at all. Like, that's how it's supposed to go.
And anything other than that is unacceptable. And that's another difference that successful people have from everybody else.
They expect to win. They are not excited when they win because that's what they were supposed to do all right nick saman what bill belichick the best coaches that ever played what do you see them do when they win they go up on the podium they say you know what the guys played a great game uh we we fucked up here what do you mean, coach? You just won the Super Bowl.
Well, we could have done better here. We got some things to go.
We got some things to work. Yeah, right.
But next year, we're going to make sure that we build on this. And they're already thinking.
They're playing it for the Super Bowl already. Yes, bro.
They expected that. Okay? Great people expect fucking greatness.
And they don't tolerate anything else. And that's something that a lot of people just don't understand.
You have to have unreasonable expectations of winning. And I don't know somebody who wins that doesn't.
You know? And, dude, let's be real. Let's take the occasional coach who wins out of the blue.
How do they operate? Well, they get the Gatorade shower. Yeah, right.
And they're partying with their team. And then they don't win another fucking title ever.
You don't hear about them no more? Yeah. Yeah, right.
So, like, dude, these are all – my point on saying all of this is the way you think and the way the first person thought needs to be true, needs to be dialed into a winner's mindset. And winners are not cocky.
You may think they're cocky because they talk cocky in the moment, which is usually necessary for them to do the thing that they want to do. You know, everybody thinks someone who talks shit before a fight or before a sporting

event is cocky dude a lot of times that's them talking themselves into fucking going out there into battle you know i'm saying but dude people who've never done it they don't get that right there's just a lot of things that people don't understand and and they think it's like this polite

you know courteous

fucking everybody

dude And they think it's like this polite, courteous, fucking everybody. Dude, it's not.
You have to be a fucking animal. And I don't know how else to tell you that.
I mean, to your point, because I don't want to miss this piece here, because I think it's also important, man. You talk about it with anxiety, right right and like this idea of happiness i want you to dispel this myth like people expect or they have this like expectation that they're supposed to be happy all the fucking time no it's not the case first of all happiness isn't even the goal winning is the goal dude if you ask the fucking most successful people that you look up to if they'd rather win or be happy, they're going to tell you they'd rather fucking win.
Rather win. And what they're really going to tell you is winning makes me happy.
So it's not, dude, that's, you know, I'm sure there's going to be a lot of people that hear that and they're like, well, that's not very fun. No shit.
That's why you can't do it. It's bank account.
Yeah, that's right. It's fun when I don't have to fucking worry about a goddamn thing.
Yeah, right. You know, financially, that's why you can't do it it's bank accounts yeah it's not yeah that's right

it's fun when i don't have to fucking worry about a goddamn thing yeah right you know financially that's fun yeah it's fun like you know what's fun it's fun when i step on motherfuckers throats to talk shit about me you know in business or said i couldn't do it or you know try to fucking come at me in business and i will quietly keep my mouth shut and then step on their fucking face as hard as I can with a smile.

That's fun.

Yeah, it's fun.

So, you know, like there's, dude, you either get it or you fucking don't. And the problem with entrepreneurship is that the internet has convinced everybody that they should be an entrepreneur.
And that's just not fucking true. Okay.
A lot of people, most people statistically would be much happier in a regular job because they don't have to take it home they don't have to work 24 hours a day entrepreneurship is different than it was 30 years ago 20 years ago even 10 years ago and i've been running i've been in business almost that whole time and i can tell you it's way different you used to be able to go home and fucking not have to deal with it with the advent of cell phones technology and the internet now it's a 24-hour gig bro and and and it's unfair but it's what it is so uh it ain't for everybody bro i love it yeah but it can be for you if you're willing to shift your mindset into the things that we're talking about here not necessary i love it man well look guys andy let look, guys, Andy, let's get to our third and final question. We've been talking about boundaries in the personal development space, like just personal life.
And this question is specifically about boundaries in business. So let's get into question number three, guys.
Andy, I'm a freelance graphic designer juggling multiple clients and often find myself working late into the night to meet deadlines i know i need better boundaries but i'm worried that saying no will hurt my relationships with clients or impact my income how can i manage my time better without jeopardizing my work boundaries in business you're correct in your assessment if you tell your fucking customers no they're going to go find someone that's going to say yes. When you're in the early stages of business, which you are, I don't care how long you've been doing it.
You're still in the early stages. Your customers will find people that will say yes if you say no.
That's reality. Now, you have to make a decision on what is acceptable for you but the reality is is if you start to try to draw those boundaries the way you're trying to you will make less money you need to understand that you will have different you will have a different class of customers you will not work with the most aggressive most powerful most ass-kicking brands because that's what they expect okay we're dealing we're now on our energy drink we're partners with anheuser-busch one of the biggest companies in the world okay they work 24 hours a day all right and i'm actually grateful for them being around because it's showing a lot of people in my system what it actually takes all right there is no oh i can't do it when it's got to be done tomorrow has to be done okay and if it's not done guess what happens bad things to you yeah right all right and people say well that's not really that fair well fuck bro you okay go do something else go go do what do something else yeah no one's forcing you to do it do something else and if you're a freelance designer i'll be real i've dealt with people like this the minute they say no or the minute they say i'm i'm i'm this is my weekend you're bothering me on the week or some shit fuck you i'm finding someone else because we have to move now i'm responsible for every motherfucker in this building and you're not meeting my needs anymore and and i'm not judging you for setting that boundary okay that might be a very responsible decision and that's your life but this is also my life so i have to find someone's going to work at my pace, too.
Yeah, right So the truth of the matter is you aren't going to keep your customers if you draw those boundaries the same way And a lot of people that don't know shit about business will say well, you don't need those customers Well, I don't know they aren't that easy to get like everybody thinks all right So you have to make a decision what's appropriate for you. What's appropriate for your life.'s appropriate for your family and make that decision but but when you're getting started and you have customers and you start to tell them no they're gonna say no back and you're gonna have less customers so um i mean is that really even like every graphic designer designer person that i've dealt with which which dude is like in the hundreds at this point that did that, which, by the way, creatives are notorious for doing this.
That what you were talking about right here, they are idealistic people and they're very creative. And it's a great thing because we need those people.
But they do things like that. They start to think, well, I have this skill that's specialized and no one else has it.
I don't know if you know this, bro, but you can type your shit right into AI right now and fucking get it done. So it's even more important than ever that you are accommodating and fast and professional and kick ass to be competitive with what's going to happen.
Otherwise, you will not be in business. So that's just the truth.
And a lot of people don't like that. They say, well, that's not fucking right.
Listen, man, I didn't make the fucking rules. I'm just telling you how it is.
I played by them, though. Well, yeah.
And your customers that pay your bills, you play by their rules. And I don't get to stop running my business and say, you play by their rules.
And, uh, you know, I don't get to stop and, um, you know, running my business and say, uh, you know, Hey guys, it's a Friday night at seven o'clock. So, uh, sorry, I can't help you.
And then show back up on Monday and expect the business to be there. That's not what the fuck happens.
Those customers go out and gets, we live in a convenience economy. Okay.
And if you want to point blame at someone, you can point blame at Amazon. And I'll tell you why.
Because Amazon has trained the customer to now expect things immediately. Okay.
At first, their first 12, 15 years in business, they didn't have to collect sales tax. So they had a 10 point advantage on price.
When the government started making them collect now they went to convenience so i mean now they've trained everybody to get things so fucking fast that if you can't do it fast you're you're fucking irrelevant so um yeah man uh and and like i was getting ready to say you know creatives are notorious for like trying to do this and then not understanding why they get fired or why you don't work with them so you know the best creative people that i work with they they they pick up the fucking whatever like if i like if i say hey i gotta have this done it's done like right then and that might not be fair like there's times when i text madat at fucking 11 o'clock at night and i say hey man can you do and i'm always polite about it i'm like hey can you do this i fucking get it right back dude what's it take five minutes ten minutes like it's immediate but that's also why he's on the team and why he's doing very well i'm going to continue to do better and better and better so yeah i wanted to actually do this too because you you mentioned like it's you know especially in the beginning stages of a business to have that type of attention and you know willingness but like bro i've been with you for five and a half years you're being a bit you've been in business for 26 i see you still fucking going at 11 o'clock at night yeah so it's like it doesn't it's not really like a beginning thing no it's just what i'm saying is it's especially important in the beginning. Okay.j i am at the beginning okay it took me 26 years to build the foundation of what i actually want to do and i'm just now getting a seat at the big boy table you know i had to build my own fucking chair and it took that long to build it from nothing now i have a chair now i'm going to go to battle against these motherfuckers which they are not going to like okay because i'm hungry as fuck and when i look at there's a reason why i talk about this all the time what day is it first day day one it's day one motherfucker okay and that's how i look at it every day is day one what happened yesterday what i did last week what we did last year.
Doesn't fucking matter. We're here now.
Today is day one. Where are we going? And that's how I look at my life.
And eventually, you know, I'm going to run out of time. And, you know, like everybody at the end of my life, I'm sure I'll have a few regrets about certain things, but there's trade offs to things and there's costs to things.
And there's, it is what it is. You got to decide what the fuck you're willing to give or not give to have what you want and uh neither none of those decisions are wrong by the way i just happen to talk about them wrong because we're in the context of winning at in a financial game business game yeah so uh you know when you say well why do you still have that well because i genuinely believe that i'm at the fucking beginning you know what i mean absolutely man absolutely well guys andy that is a hell of a way to start a monday bro yeah guys let's uh let's get going we'll see you tomorrow on cti don't be a hoe share the show went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted slow got her Outro Music