941. Q&AF: Boundaries With Parents, Asking For Help & Exploring Purpose Late In Life

Yeah, when we're sleeping on the floor, now my jury box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold, just a no.

Headshot, case close, close, close.

What is up, guys?

It's Andy for selling.

This is the show for the realists.

Say about the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys.

Today, we have QNAF.

That's where you submit the questions questions and we give you the answers.

Now, you can submit your questions to be answered on the show a few different ways.

DJ is going to tell you all about it.

Yeah, guys.

First way is you can email your questions into askandy atandyfotella.com.

You can also submit your questions in the YouTube comments on the Q ⁇ AF episodes.

You can also click the link in the description below and submit your questions for Chancellor Gee on the call-in episodes.

Yes.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So don't forget to participate in the QAF.

Free game.

Free game.

Other times throughout the week, we're going to have CTI.

That's what's coming up tomorrow.

Cruise the Internet.

That's where we put topics on the screen.

We speculate on what's actually going on.

And then we make fun of everybody.

And then we talk about how we, the people, have to be the solution of the problems going on in the world.

Then we have Real Talk.

Real Talk's just five, 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk.

And then we have what's called 75 Hard Verses.

75 Hard Verses, where someone who's completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show, talks about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard Program to recalibrate their mindset and develop the mental toughness needed to win.

If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard,

it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, the world's most popular mental transformation program ever all right and get it for free at episode 208

it's on the audio feed only it's not on youtube we weren't on youtube 208 on the audio feed uh and then

you could buy the book the book is called the book on mental toughness that's it right there

it's not free but it does go through the entire live hard program and a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to develop it, how to use it to become the ultimate version of you.

And you can get that at andyforsella.com.

And then we have a fee.

Fee is very simple.

Help us grow the show by sharing it.

All right.

So don't be a hoe.

Share the show.

All right.

What's going on, man?

Nothing, dude.

Yeah.

So with you.

Oh, you know, just another beautiful day.

Getting uh getting lots of great deep sleep.

Are you?

You look like you're still asleep.

I'm fucked right now.

Why?

Were you up all night with the kid?

Bro, was she screaming shit?

Bro, there's just something that happens between like 3 a.m.

and 7 a.m.

What's that?

She didn't fucking sleep.

I don't know what it is.

She's just fucking

like that?

Screaming up.

Addison was a little bit.

It was giving Addison vibes for sure.

Like, Addison didn't sleep.

She was hard, wasn't she?

Bro, Addison did not sleep through the night until she was like nine months old.

Yeah, I remember that.

That was hard.

Yeah.

I'm just getting those vibes very early right now.

Yeah.

And yeah.

But no, man, it's good.

It's good.

You know, we're here.

Yeah.

I'm going to make it work.

Yeah.

Let's start off with a call.

Let's

get Rubio on the phone.

Let's get Rubio.

Hello?

Rubio, what's up, man?

What's going on?

Is this DJ?

This is DJ.

No, this is your conscience.

Oh, okay.

What's going on, man?

Nothing much.

Nothing much.

Is the big man there, too?

No, it was just me calling.

Yeah.

Yeah, DJ's calling us see if you want to get something to eat, bro.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

What's up, brother?

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you gentlemen doing?

We're doing good, man.

Just sitting in here

talking about how we're going to actually help people.

That's right.

So, what's going on with you?

Where are you at?

Right on.

I'm calling in from California, unfortunately.

Okay.

Where are you at in California?

Phil Morris, a small town, Ventura County area.

I don't know where that is.

Yeah, where is that north or like northern Cali?

That's SoCali area.

Oh, okay.

A little ways from Los Angeles.

There you go.

Well, that's good.

Good weather.

What can we help you with, brother?

What you got going on?

So I've got a little bit of a dilemma um so just to give background to the to the story as of right now I'm telling you I'm 19 years of age going on to 20 here

and I decided from a young age that I didn't want my life to be ordinary started listening to the show probably like 17 super super motivated all my buddies on it some of them kind of listened to it some of them didn't

got my father into it

and what ended up happening was I decided I'd be going join the military.

And I sit now, stand now as a United States Marine.

And I decided

I liked my job at the time.

I was working as a shop hand.

I've always liked dirty work.

I always liked getting my hands dirty.

Just, I've always wanted to build myself to be a better man and be an example for when I do eventually have a son.

And I was sitting there at work one day and I knew that I just, I had to go find out if I could make it through boot camp.

But I knew that financially I wanted something bigger for myself.

So I didn't sign active duty.

I went at reserves so I could come back and ultimately make more money here.

And that's what I did.

And I noticed as the years went on, when I started making more money, that my parents started treating me a little bit differently.

So just to give reference, beforehand, obviously I wasn't paying rent.

I wasn't really doing much because of the young age.

And up when I hit 18, that's when they kind of started charging me rent.

Me and my sister both were paying right around $200.

Nothing crazy.

Hit 19, and that's right when my rent went up.

And my sister, being that she got herself in debt at a young age,

they cut her completely off, stopped her from paying rent, and they charged me more, which I thought was a little strange, but I kind of said, whatever, do it.

And my father has always had a good been good with finances, been good at making money.

Up until recently, he started focusing more on spending money than keeping it.

And he makes good money.

The only issue is that he spends more than he makes.

And he's got himself into some debt.

And he's talked about me taking over his payments.

He got a motorcycler really likes.

I like motorcycles, but I personally don't buy anything that I can't afford.

So I have no debt and I plan on keeping it that way.

The only issue is when he gets injured, he usually looks at me for money.

And recently, he borrowed a decent amount of money from me around three thousand dollars which he ended up paying me back eventually slowly but my biggest issue is

right now as i said he's he's pretty motivated i think he's kind of just on the addiction of motivation rather than action because he's right around 320 pounds ish five foot seven

39 years old and I think he can still get out of his situation.

The only issue is that he has a hard time listening to people.

And I want to sit down and have a conversation with him appropriately without him getting upset with me or emotional because he seems to get that way

or without even bringing up kicking me out because, like I said, for his age and that weight, I don't imagine he'll make it much longer.

And he's been super motivated by you, Andy, with your story being your weight.

The only issue is, like I said, he doesn't really listen to people.

He has a hard time understanding things, not so much because he doesn't understand that it's an issue, but because he's always been, it's not that easy kind of person,

which, I mean, I've tried to convince him otherwise, but by the looks of it, in the long run, he gets injured.

I'm going to be taking on a lot of his debt, which I don't want to.

And it's going to fall on me.

Ultimately, the house.

I've recently found out the same thing.

My mother.

has a decent amount of debt and she's kind of turned to me for money, which of course I don't want to say no to her.

But I found out she was slowly taking money from me through my bank account which I had to have a conversation with her about and she tried kind of hiding it from me

and I just I want to know how I can approach him with this situation in an appropriate manner because I do care about him and I want him to be here in the long run for when I build my future but I also don't want his decisions now to not allow me to start my future because he's going to take that from me ultimately with his debt.

And like I said, I just want to make sure he's around.

And for the, for the rate he's going at now, the doctors are telling him

he's not going to live much longer.

Well, I mean, he's 5'7.

What did you say?

320?

Yes, sir.

And he's 37?

39.

39?

39.

You're absolutely correct.

He's not going to be around very much longer if he doesn't take care of that.

That's the truth.

You don't see old, obese people like that.

You don't see that.

Typically, you know, these people

die before they get old.

And

yeah that's that's just part of the equation let me ask you this

what's your outcome what's your ideal outcome of that conversation

my ideal outcome is that he starts putting on the work with me again I mean when he was 270 not too long ago he was going to the gym with me I would go help him out at work because, I mean, ultimately, I wanted to start working with him.

So I got all my certifications.

I got my class A license, my CDO, and I wanted to work with him.

The only issue is nobody wants to hire me because I'm young, but that's not important with the conversation.

And we were going to the gym, everything was going good, and he was motivated.

He's like, You're going to come work with me, all this stuff.

And then he up and got injured and saw that as

a permanent roadblock.

And, like I said, ended up putting on another 50 pounds.

Okay.

And let me ask you this: a couple things here.

What kind of work are you guys doing?

So he's the crane operator.

He kind of just sits in the crane, does his thing.

But when I go help him,

we're actually walking around, running around.

We're greasing the cranes.

I like going to help him grease them.

So I get up under there and

climb up on the crane and we're doing this to about eight different cranes just

because I want to get into the field of work.

And then when we're working out, I mean, I take him to the gym with me and I run him through my programs.

I tried running him through the 75 hard, which, I mean, he made made it like halfway and then you saw a cupcake and that was it

and what do you want to do for yourself long term

for myself long term i ultimately want to build something i don't really care so much about the financial portion i only care about money because everything in the world costs money and i understand that you need it to an extent But I want to be able to build something that I can look at and be proud of and something that overall helps people.

I'm not exactly sure what that is yet, being that I am still young.

Yeah, you don't have to have an evidence right now.

Yeah, I was just curious.

I was just curious.

Yeah, brother.

All right, look, man,

there's a lot here.

Let me start with the conversation that has to happen with your...

Let me start with this, okay?

Your parents shouldn't be taking money from you.

They shouldn't be taking money from your account.

They shouldn't be making you feel guilty for not wanting to give them money.

That's not okay.

All right.

And you have to draw a boundary there.

And it has to be real.

And sometimes parents don't really understand that.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know why that is.

But sometimes, and I've talked to a lot of people, parents have like this weird entitlement to their children's success.

I was actually talking to a very well-known,

everybody knows him, entrepreneur that i'm friends with um

about this exact issue yesterday uh about how

this person's parents felt entitled to the same thing and no matter what they did it was never enough and the answer was always well you know that's nothing for you that's not the fucking point okay like

the the point is i work my ass off for that.

And just because you know, you think that I've got all this shit coming out of my ears or whatever, it doesn't matter.

It's not yours, you didn't fucking earn it.

And

it's a hard convo to have, yeah.

It's hard.

Well, you had to have it.

Yeah, I had to have it.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, dude, it's unfortunately some people only get it when you're a fucking mean as fuck to them about it.

And then they'll finally stop.

But yeah, dude, it's

reality, man.

And I don't know why parents feel that way.

I don't know.

I really don't.

I don't know.

But

that's neither here nor there.

It's just reality.

And it seems like you've got a couple parents that think that way.

And that has to be a real conversation of adults.

Hey, I'm an adult.

You're charging me rent.

I am happily paying it.

That's the transaction.

You're not entitled.

You're not entitled to anything else.

You're not entitled to more of that.

You can't just take my money.

Yes, we're family, and I will gladly help you, but I'm not an endless stream of financial resources.

And that boundary needs to be set now, brother, because the older you get and the more money you make, the worse that will get.

So that's a conversation in itself that needs to be, it's a, and I understand, dude, like you love your parents, but that boundary has to be set and it has to be firm.

Now let's get on to the conversation with your dad.

That conversation

should probably start just like any other meeting that you would have.

I would sit down with, I would ask him to sit down and meet with you, not just try to catch him in the middle of his day, not just try to talk to him at dinner.

But I would ask him, I would say, hey, dad,

can you meet me here at Starbucks at noon or whatever?

I got something I really want to talk to you about.

Something that sets the expectation that this is not a normal conversation.

All right.

The reason that's important is because you want them thinking ahead of time, fuck, I wonder what this is about.

This must be serious.

And what will probably happen is they will say, well, just tell me now.

Just tell me now.

And you should say, no,

I want to sit down and have a talk about it.

It's very important to me.

And do not give in when they try to get you to say what it is right now because you want him to think about it until that time comes.

He's probably going to listen to the show and know this.

But

at the end of the day, dude,

you sit down with them and you say, hey, Dad, look, my outcome for this meeting, and then you state your outcome.

My outcome is I'm young.

I'm 19 years old.

I'm going to grow up one day.

I'm going to be successful.

I'm going to have a family.

And I would like you to be around for that and right now this is the real truth you're not going to be and you know you're not going to be i know you're not going to be and the data says you're not going to be

and i love you man i like you're my whole fucking life and i can't imagine you not being around when i get married or have kids because

food

and drink has some sort of control over you.

And it's it's frustrating for me that you won't take it serious enough to handle your business.

That makes me wonder how much you actually care about what I've got going on or even me.

And I think that's a real conversation because, dude, I don't think he's thinking about that.

I don't think he's thinking like,

because we all by human nature think, oh, it'll never happen to us.

It'll never happen to us.

It'll never happen to us until it does.

And I know from being very overweight

and and struggling with that my whole life.

That's the story I would tell myself.

I would tell myself, it's not as bad as I think it is.

Other people are like this.

It's normal.

You know, it's not that bad.

And I would tell myself all this shit.

And until I found a bigger purpose that was outside of myself, it was very hard for me to take serious.

And

I would sit down, I would have that conversation with them

very frankly, however it is that you would like to deliver that message.

And at the end of the thing, I would say, Dad,

I would really appreciate if you did this for me.

And if you can't do it for you, I would like you to do it for me and my future kids because I want you around.

And

I would have that conversation, make that known.

And then I would also, and this is an important thing, dude.

I would also

be prepared for him to continue down the path that he's going to go down.

Because here's the thing.

We can't force people to lose weight.

We can't force people to take their shit serious.

We can't force people to want to be financially successful.

We can't force people to want to be more than they are.

But what we can do is point out the reality of what they are.

Because most people do not see themselves accurately for what they really are.

They look in the mirror, they don't like what they see, they look at their bank account, they don't like what they see, they look at their family, they don't like what they see, and then they tell themselves a shit ton of stories about why it is that way that

let them off the hook for having to deal with the actual problem.

So

there's a good chance, no matter what you say or what you do, that he will remain the same.

If

I

would like to think that if I had a son and he said that to me, that would disturb me enough to fucking take action.

But we just don't know.

And

that's how I would handle it, dude.

And then the last thing I would say to you is this.

You got to run your own fucking race, bro.

And

we love our parents.

You know,

I get this question a lot.

A lot of parents, and I'm not saying this about yours.

I'm just saying this for everybody else that's listening.

A lot of parents don't support their children.

A lot of parents get jealous when their children start to become more successful.

A lot of parents have to be cut the fuck out of your life when you come from, you know,

very meager

means and your ambition is so big.

It's weight that is hard to carry.

It's not something that you can actually do because to get to that point of where you want to go requires all of your effort, all of your energy, all of your focus.

And you can't spend it dealing with people who are creating doubt, who are pulling you back, who are asking you for things that aren't theirs, who are like, you just can't make time for wasted energy.

And the truth of the matter is people are either contributing or pulling away.

And to get where you're wanting to go, you know, to be successful, sometimes it takes pulling away from every single thing that distracts you and doesn't contribute.

And people hate that answer.

They're like, oh, well, that's not healthy.

Well, fuck, bro.

You told me what you wanted.

I'm telling you what it takes to get.

It's just reality.

And if you want to have relationships with negative people just because you're related to them, then your success will suffer.

That's reality.

So that's what I got for you, man.

I know it's a difficult situation,

but you're a grown man.

Um,

I think you need to present yourself as a grown man to him.

It sounds like you do most of the time anyway,

and have him off site and have a meeting and say, hey, this is, this matters to me, man.

And,

you know, if

you don't do that, that's, that's your choice.

But I'm just letting you know, like,

I'm going to go do these things.

You know what I mean?

And,

yeah, I mean, fuck, it's a hard situation.

What do you think, dude?

Yeah, no, I mean, 100%.

I think the most important piece on that is just being prepared if he doesn't choose to do anything about it.

You know, like, dude, I look back on my life.

I had my first apartment at 17.

I had no choice.

Yeah.

Because I went through the whole thing, like, oh, I'm going to stay home with mom while you got to pay rent.

Well, I'm out here trying to build a life.

Like, and I got to get, you know what I'm saying?

Why might as well just get my own shit then?

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

I had to prepare myself for that.

And it is a tough thing, man.

But like you said, Andy, bro, like, Rubio, you got, you have a life.

You got to start running.

And, and ultimately, nobody else is responsible for that but you.

Yeah.

You know, so it's tough of those, as tough as those decisions might be or conversations might be to have,

somebody's got to have them.

You know, I think a lot of people have frustrations that other people, like, it's, it's a very weird dynamic when you're trying to like develop your own path in life.

You know.

If you're ambitious and you want to create something and you want to build something and become something, that's rare.

Most people don't.

Most people,

I would say 97% of humanity just wants to breathe air and exist and

have the least amount of discomfort possible.

They don't care if they get anything else.

And

the 3%

that do,

and I'm making these numbers up, but that's just my estimation.

Those people,

you know, they're never going to fit in, man.

They're never going to fit in with people who

don't have that drive.

Those people are never going to understand you.

They're never going to relate to you.

They're never going to support you the way that you want because they don't fucking get it.

And we have all these young people who

try to curtail their existence to get the approval of these other people that aren't on the same path, not realizing that if you are that close to them, where they understand you, then you are that much further from where you actually want to be.

So they shouldn't understand you.

They shouldn't get you.

They shouldn't be able to fucking comprehend what it is you're trying to do.

And if they can, then that either means they came with you or you've put enough distance between yourself and their ability to comprehend that you were on the right path.

You know, and

it's a different language.

It's a different life.

It's a different fucking species.

And when we try to

mold ourselves into people people that will be understood by people who have no ambition, no drive, no future, we're just taking away from our own success and our own dreams and our own reality.

And we do that a lot because we think like, well, fuck, I'm related to them or they're my mom or they're my dad or they're my cousin or they're my this or that or this.

But dude, at the end of the day, it's not like they couldn't go with you if they wanted to.

You can't fucking force them.

They have to want it.

And a lot of people will get judged.

They'll say, oh, you forgot where you came from or, you know you you uh you're not humble anymore or you know you need to you need to remember you know who you are and all this shit and they'll say all this shit and like you can look at them and be like well fuck dude uh i didn't remember not inviting you to come with me you chose to stay there you know so that's the reality man and um

the good news is is

If you do have to make those

severances in your life, they will be replaced later on by people who support what you're trying to do.

And I can tell you this: the more successful you get, the better your circle gets.

People think that's rude.

It's reality, dude.

Successful people aren't doing fucked up shit usually.

Okay, they're not out getting fucked up till four in the morning, driving their car 7,000 miles an hour.

They're not going to the bars all the time.

They're not doing destructive things.

And reality is, most of the bad things that happen in people's lives come from hanging out with people who do those things.

So,

you know, you start surrounding yourself with people who have goals, ambitions, dreams, desires,

the hunger to build.

These people contribute, man.

They help you.

Every phone call you take is encouraging.

Every conversation you have is about building.

When you get to that point, man,

it's like hard not to win because everybody expects you to win and then they're also pushing you to win

and they're also competing with you to win, so you don't want to lose to them.

You know, it's just a different dynamic, dude.

And about all the other bullshit, nah, bro, listen, dude.

Andrew Tate said this thing, and I know people have mixed opinions of, but I saw this clip of him, and he fucking said, and it was fucking dead, dead on true.

He said, Every single time I've ever fucking got in trouble, it was because I was hanging around poor people.

And it was fucking true.

It's fucking true.

The shit that they they fuck with is not the same shit that ambitious, driven, hungry people fuck with.

It's truth.

Completely different risk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's real, bro.

So that's real.

Anyway,

what do you think, dude?

I appreciate the words.

I appreciate the advice.

I'll definitely take it and try to sit down and have that conversation with him.

But I mean, I've tried to accept, like you said, the things that you told me that are might happen, might not happen.

I've tried to always keep myself in that mindset, kind of just not expecting a whole lot

and just trying to put in more work than I'm getting out.

But I'm just, I mean, I'm a strong believer.

And, you know,

you get what you put in.

So that's right.

I mean, at the end of the day, I've kind of understood that.

I mean, he didn't just wake up and become 320 pounds.

Right.

Well, I mean, there's lots of reasons why he could be like that.

I mean, look, dude.

We can all find reasons as to why our life is the way it is.

But at the end of the day, here's the reason.

He didn't move move enough, he ate the wrong shit, he drank the wrong shit, and that, you know, that's it.

That's pretty much it.

It's very simple.

So,

you know, that's his decision, man.

And a lot of people, you know, like you say, he's inspired by me.

Well, fuck, I might not, I must not be doing a very good job.

No, I'm being serious.

You know what I'm saying?

Like,

you shouldn't be able to justify 5'7, 320 pounds.

Like, you shouldn't be, that's not acceptable.

So

I empathize with Rubio here, but

you know,

you got to be prepared.

That's real, man.

That's real.

Rubio, we appreciate the time, bro.

I appreciate yours as well.

All right, man.

All right.

Take care, bro.

Thank you, guys.

Yeah, dude, that's a tough, that's a tough spot to be in, bro.

There's a lot there.

Yeah, there's a lot.

There's a lot.

But I think the other good part is, though, just

as easy as I guess it was was to get in that position, you can also get out of it by moving, putting the right shit in.

You know what I'm saying?

You know, look, man.

The family thing is hard, okay?

Because it's all you ever know.

And then you decide what it is you want.

It's so weird.

Because you get encouraged when you're a kid.

Hey, you know, you could be anything you want.

By those same people.

By the same people, dude.

And then you go through school.

And as you get older, the conversation switches from you could be anything to,

you know, okay, now we got to get realistic about what you want to be.

And it's like, it's like, it's like, bro, were you bullshitting me back then?

Are you bullshitting me now?

You know, what is it?

And then the conversation changes if you continue on that path that you always believed that you wanted to be more.

The conversation from the same exact people that were telling you you could be anything is

that you can't be that.

You know, and it's like, it's this hard thing to deal with when it comes from people that you've always looked at

to be your source of guidance.

And unfortunately, you know, people have a really hard time with their own egos

when

their children's goals are bigger than theirs.

And the truth of the matter is that's the point.

Like if you're a parent out there and you're like somewhat jealous of what your kid's doing versus what you did, um you need to check your self bro because that's the point the point is they're supposed to do better the point is you're supposed to put them in a position to do better and just because they start doing better doesn't mean that they owe you money that's what you're supposed to do as a parent it's no different than someone who comes into my office says i show up on time yeah No shit.

I work hard.

Yeah, no shit.

So,

you know, it's a frustrating thing.

And a lot of people struggle with it mentally, bro, because the emotional bonds that have been created over that time, right?

Well, I think what it is, bro, is the parents realizing that they didn't, like,

is them coming to the reality.

Like, I did not prepare them to be that fucking president or a future doctor.

I didn't, I fell short.

So now I got to try to reel them back in and fuck up their confidence before I send them out into this real world that I didn't prepare them for.

You think that's what it is?

I think a lot of parents don't care.

I think a lot of parents are jealous.

I think a lot of parents are fucking jealous.

They think that success

is what they've done.

You know what I'm saying?

And they can't fathom a success for their own child that is outside the realm of that.

They have a very hard time with it.

That's some fucked up shit, man.

It's the truth.

Yeah.

It's the truth.

Think of it.

You live your whole life.

You become a mechanic, which is a great thing, by the way.

Okay.

Let's just say you become a mechanic, but then your kid grows up and not only do they become a mechanic, they end up creating their own car and starting their own car company and making a trillion dollars doing it.

Now all of a sudden, that person who was just a mechanic starts feeling like, well, this isn't good enough for you.

My life's not good enough for you.

It's like an ego thing, you know?

And so.

When kids start to outperform their parents,

not good parents, but shitty parents start to try to fucking hold hold them back and that's why i tell all these youngers these youngsters i'm like bro sometimes you got to cut these motherfuckers out you got to ask yourself what do you want do you want do you want a relationship with a toxic parent or a toxic family or do you want to win

yeah yeah it's a very simple choice to have man i love it man well let's go i think the mistake bro that a lot of people make

is underestimating what it takes to win.

They don't understand.

They don't understand that that it at least for an amount of time it takes everything you know what i'm saying like everything you cannot afford to have negativity you cannot afford to have people in your life no matter who they are no matter what their last name is telling you that you can't or you shouldn't or you won't they got is people got to be behind you or you got to be alone and that's it

It's too hard, bro.

It's too hard.

Winning is not normal.

It's not this normal thing.

It's extraordinary.

It's out of the ordinary.

It is, it's exceptional.

And there's been this like watering down of what it actually takes to win by culture and society, you know, with this balanced shit and all this.

You could do, you can't fucking do it all, man.

You can't do it all.

If you're going to have this overly balanced day-to-day life, you're, the amount of money you earn is probably going to be a lot less.

And that's okay.

But you need to understand that.

You got to be okay with that.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just, it's just a balance, bro.

And, you know, people will judge you for it.

You know, they'll, they'll, they'll, if you don't make enough money, they'll say you're a broke loser.

If you make too much money, they'll say all you care about is money.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, they're going to fucking

or bro, they'll say to me, you know, because I don't have kids.

Oh, well, he doesn't have any kids, so he's totally unhappy.

Like, you don't fucking know what I like.

Right.

You don't know that I, you know what I'm saying?

Like, everybody's poking a hole into everything that everybody else has or does.

And you've got to have earmuffs in and just just not care.

They're going to poke holes regardless.

They're going to poke holes regardless.

Yeah.

Fuck dude, no matter what.

No matter.

You know, I love it.

You could walk on fucking water, bro, and you could cure cancer.

You could do all this shit.

There's still going to be motherfuckers that don't like you.

They're going to say, oh, yeah, well, he walked on water, but he didn't fly.

Yeah, right, right.

You know?

Yeah, he cured cancer, but fuck, it took long enough.

Yeah, right, right.

You know,

it's just like, it's just loser shit, bro.

Most people, here's the truth.

Most people are losers

i don't know what to tell you yeah i love it man i love it let's get another uh let's get another question rolling man um

we got uh

let's get chadrick let's give him a call shall we chadrick

hello hello is this chadrick

yes sir what's going on man what up andy

oh you know

My fault.

Wrong black guy.

Yeah, no, this is DJ.

My fault, guys.

My fault.

What's up, brother?

How are you?

Hey, Andy.

I'm doing good, man.

How about you?

Good.

Where are you calling from?

I am calling from Chevyville, Tennessee.

Chevyville, Chevyville.

All right.

Where's that?

I've never heard of it.

There's so many places I haven't heard of.

Where is Chevyville?

Hey.

Hey, I'm not going to lie to you.

We have like a population of like,

I don't even know, but we're like a small town where uh down south of Nashville we're like an hour and maybe 30 minutes away from them all right all right

yeah it's called Bedford County so

we actually have one of the largest bars in the whole world Uncle Nearest what's it called

Uncle Nearest oh like the whiskey

Yeah, we have, it's in my town.

Oh, it's on the outskirts of it.

Yeah, it's like really closer to, it's like in between Murfreesboro and Chevyville, but it's like one of the biggest bars in the whole world.

Hmm,

Uncle What Uncle Nearest, yeah, it's a whiskey,

yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's that's sick, it's pretty cool.

All right, well, guys, I'm really excited.

I'm really excited.

I'm really nervous at the same time, so ah, brother.

Hey, we're just some normal dudes, bro.

You don't have to be nervous, we're here to help.

I know, I know that, yeah.

So, what's up, what you got going on?

All right, man, I'll give you a little history of my life.

So,

whenever I'll take it way back so you can understand my perspective and what I'm trying to do.

So whenever I was 12 to 13, my dad passed away.

I thought football, I thought sports, I thought all that was going to get me somewhere.

It didn't because my coach took all the film whenever he moved from one high school to the other.

And he was just worried about, you know, doing whatever he was doing.

So

set off into the world and, you know, did everything I needed to do.

Right now in this situation, in this current, you know, my current life right now, I am 29 years old.

About two years ago, I lost my mom to cancer, my brother to a wreck.

Now, in my whole life, all I have is my sister.

That's it.

Just my sister.

So

I was thinking to myself, you know, I don't have too many people now because, you know, my life has been like it has.

and uh and i was you know i'm i'm making a brand and a product for myself as well right now and uh you know it's a it's like a hydration pouch

so i am trying to

not act like i

i don't want to ask for somebody's help because i've always been the person to do it myself

and to pursue something myself because

I don't know asking for help kind of makes makes me feel like I'm kind of like, you know,

making myself weaker and the grind is not as hard as, you know, what I'm trying to search for, if that makes sense.

So, I mean, it's just, it's just,

it's, it's kind of hard, especially whenever you don't, you know, I'm doing it myself.

So I just, I'm, I'm trying to get somebody else's perspective of they've already been there because I don't have people like that in my town that will tell me what I need to hear and how it needs to be.

Okay.

So that's

go ahead.

That's why I'm reaching out because, like I said, I've contacted multiple, multiple people, multiple, and I don't hear nothing back.

And I'm just like, okay, so should I, I don't know where else to go.

So I did submit my question and I just wanted to, do you want to, I'll give you the question if you want me to.

Yeah, that's what I'm here for, brother.

All right.

It says, I've always had, I've always prided myself on figuring things out on my own, but I know there's value in learning from people who've already done what I'm working towards.

The challenge for me is this.

How do you ask for help without feeling like you're giving?

up the edge that comes from grinding it out yourself.

Part of me feels like asking makes me weaker, but another part of me knows it could make me sharper.

I really appreciate your perspective on that.

Okay.

First of all, man,

I'm sorry to hear about your family.

That's very tough.

Very, very tough.

Yeah.

Here's what I want you to hear.

All right.

You do not need anybody else's validation or permission to start this business and go do what it is that you see in your mind.

Okay.

If you have a vision for what you're trying to accomplish, it is very important that you dedicate yourself to that vision.

Now, when we are just starting out, and it doesn't matter if you're 18 or 30 or 50,

we have this thing as humans because we don't know what we we don't know.

And when we've never been successful at anything, we imagine that there's boundaries that exist that do not exist.

For me, when I was young, I used to think

like this.

My internal dialogue would be,

man, I hope.

One day I'm one of these people that gets chosen to be successful.

I hope one day I'm one of these people that gets lucky enough to be successful.

I hope one day, and I would see it as like this thing that I called the success fairy.

And when I visualized it in my head, it was like, there's imagine a group of people and then like this fucking fairy flies down and taps certain people on the head and those people somehow get the path to success and end up making it.

And it's not true.

It's complete bullshit.

And we believe that

because we have never been successful and we've never been in the proximity of people who are very successful.

The best gift that any of you who are listening to the show can give yourself is to be in the proximity of someone who has built something massive so you can see how normal and how much in common you actually have with those people.

Because we, at the beginning, sort of

idolize these these people or build them up or imagine that they have these superpowers and dude they don't okay and I know it feels that way when you're just starting

so

you need to clear out this belief system that you have that there's some sort of gatekeeping or you know there's some sort of rule or club or code or

committee that is going to invite you to be successful they're not going to.

No one's coming to

Chevyville, Tennessee to find you and say, guess what?

You get to be successful.

You have to fucking understand this, dude, because this idea that's based in our identity that we grew up around has to be broken before we can actually be successful.

We have to break out of that thinking.

When you've grown up a certain way, in a certain style, in a certain household, with a certain income, with a certain mentality, that means that's going to be your identity, bro.

And as you grow,

that identity is going to have to give way to a new identity that

is in line with who you're trying to become before you actually become it.

So I challenge you, brother, to start thinking of yourself already as a successful man, as a strong man, as someone who can create anything and make anything happen, because you can.

I'm just telling you, bro, you can.

There's nothing out here above you that's ever going to stop you from doing that outside of the actions that you take.

Even if you start to build this hydration pouch and you get up against Andy Frisella, who owns First Form, and they've got unlimited access to marketing funds and this and that and this.

And I say, fuck it.

I'm going to fucking hammer this guy with, like, dude, there's still a way to fucking get around that and beat those people.

So,

yeah, bro.

There's no limits, dude.

And I just, my thing here in you talk is what I could tell is that you're still stuck in that identity of how you, where you came from.

And you need to break into this new identity, brother.

And that new identity is going to be

you

being the best version of yourself,

the most fit that you can,

the smartest that you can be, the most effective that you can be, the kindest that you can be, the most savage that you can be.

All right.

And you have to become the product before the product can help you build the life.

And

you have it, dude.

You have it.

You've just got to, you know, you've got to understand.

It makes sense for you not to understand what it's like because you've never lived it.

It makes sense for you to not understand that you can do these things because how many fucking people have you met in real life that are just like you that have done these things?

It's not very common.

And that's the gift of the internet.

We were talking in the beginning of the show about how the internet can be damaging to people because it makes them feel demoralized.

You know, we see these 25-year-old kids scamming people and driving Lamborghinis and shit.

All the time.

But also, bro, if you pick the right people to look at, you can learn tremendous amounts of information.

You keep your head down, you build shit, and eventually all the things you want will come your way.

And the internet provides a tremendous value to young men like you because you can find those people, dude.

Yes, you're going to have to filter through the fucking idiots.

Yes, you're going to have to recognize that there's a lot of bullshit out there, but there are people who have built real products, real businesses, who do real things that can help keep you on track.

And obviously, you listen to the show and i'm one of them um yes so you're like my top one well brother i appreciate that but i just try to keep it real with you guys because you know for me man you know

this is more than just about me this is about our next generation of entrepreneurs understanding that they have to not only be successful but they you when you are successful have to take on my role with your team you have to become their coach you have to become their brother you have to to become their dad.

You have to become their advisor.

You have to help them personally develop.

And to your point about...

Yeah, bro.

You have to.

You have to do it for your fucking company.

And to your point about

the pridefulness that you have about asking for help, let me make you understand something.

I had a lot of motherfucking people to help me, bro.

Okay.

When you hear my story and you hear all these fucking people's story and they say, oh, I grinded it out by myself and nobody ever fucking, bullshit.

Okay.

One of the reasons that I give back so much is because I was fortunate enough to have people in my life that took an interest in my development and helped me.

They told me the things that I needed to hear.

They told me the truth.

In fact, if you listen to the last CTI, my uncle John, who just passed away, was one of my biggest mentors in

that realm of existence.

If I did something stupid, he said I was fucking stupid.

If I was giving up on myself, he said, dude, what are you doing?

You could do this and this and this.

And

I want you to understand, dude, there is the weakness is you refusing to ask for help.

That's the weakness.

That's your ego.

That's your hubris.

That's your pride.

These are things that will kill you in success.

Success is a team effort, bro.

You cannot do it on your own.

Nobody that you've seen build anything that you, look, I've got my brother who's fucking genius.

I've got Jason, fucking genius.

I've got Chris, fucking genius.

I've got a team out here that is all made up of young, smart, hungry people that give a fuck.

Bro, I'm surrounded by greatness.

Okay, it's not just me.

All right.

And you have to understand, like, if I had gone through life thinking dude i don't need their help i don't need this i can't ask for this or i'm a pussy bro i wouldn't have that i wouldn't have any of that and yes sir you know my friends that i hang around bro these are successful people that the the people i spend uh my time with on the phone they're successful entrepreneurs we collaborate we work together we we don't gatekeep we we realize because this is what true champions realize true champions want their competitors to be better because they they understand that if that competitor gets better, that they will rise to the occasion and become better themselves.

And surrounding yourself with the best fucking people possible, whether they work for you, whether they're an acquaintance or a friend, or even in the beginning, sometimes you got to, you know, pay for access to people like that with the right people, not the fucking wrong ones.

And once you start to develop that, dude, you start to realize and the picture becomes very clear that you're not the only one, bro.

You know, I'm sure you feel that way because you're in a small town in the middle of Tennessee, and people are kind of going about their way of life, which is great, dude.

There's lots of times where I'm like, fuck, I wish I just lived in a small town and fucking sat on my porch and smoked fucking cones all day.

Like, that's right, that'd be great, but you know, I would be bored with that in about fucking five seconds.

So,

listen, brother.

I do have something to say, though.

Yeah, Can I can I?

So

I have been grinding.

I wouldn't say busy, but productive.

I like productive over busy any day.

So

I have actually

continued with this product.

And now I'm at the reason why I'm asking why I asked that question is because Now I'm at the final stages of it.

I'm at the final stages of putting it out there.

get like like having it in my hand my logo my can everything i've already got my samples i paid for that i've already i've already did everything everything i need to do

with this with this hydration pouch and i don't mean no pouches that you put in your water i'm talking like a dip pouch yeah like a zen like a like a uh yeah i get it a zen yeah a zen like a zen like what do they call one of those pouches that you you do i usually call them tampons.

Oh, I don't do those.

You fucking.

Of course.

The dip pouches.

Yeah, the dip pouches.

What are they called?

Yeah, like Zen is.

Yeah, I made up my own formula.

I made up my own logo.

I made up my own name.

And, you know, I base it off you, man.

Your perspective of everything, I come from you.

You motivated me.

Now it's just stuck because i'm in a place to where

well they need this much

but i have all these stores that want it

all right bro what they want for it is what's got me stuck what's that if that makes sense well they they they want it cheap

not no not cheap but to get the product with my logo and my everything on it the way i want it with everything to be mighty in my perspective they want so much for it and that will they will give me so many cans for it

so oh you're lacking seed capital is what you're saying exactly because i don't have like i said i don't really have people to ask

because i mean i've done everything my my own

uh i've already like i said i already had samples i already tried flavors um

i paid for that myself um

i mean i work a full-time job at O'Reilly's, which is not good because I know I can be better than that.

Brother.

I'll do that.

Brother.

And I work at a liquor store too.

Brother.

And I've been there for five years.

Just so you know.

Just so you know, I worked fucking multiple jobs the first eight years that I is that you, yes.

You inspired me to do that.

Yes.

Like, and

I just didn't know.

I don't know.

It was just, I just knew you did that because I hear it, you you know, every day.

Well, here's your options.

Let me give you the options.

One,

you go out and find an investor and you sell him part of the, you get him to become a partner.

He has to put cash in.

You run the business.

Okay.

Two,

you can actually go to take one of these stores, get a small amount of product made and start one at a time, bro, keeping your books completely clean.

That's what we did.

All right.

And yes, it took us a little bit longer, longer, but now we own everything,

you know.

So, we've got a debt-free company that you know makes it extremely, extremely valuable.

Um,

you could, you could find that same investor and give them get them to give you a loan.

Um,

but at the end of the day, bro, let's say you don't get any fucking help at all.

You know, you're gonna have to generate, let's just say, hardest possible route.

Hardest possible route is going to be you

working your jobs,

saving your money to the point where you can order the product in enough quantity to

sell it at one store.

Okay.

And then you're just going to have to roll that out and roll that out and roll that out and be very disciplined.

That's how we built our business.

That's how everything that you see, that I've done, that we've done,

That that we did it that way.

It just takes longer, but with social media, with everything that's going on,

it can go a lot faster for you than it could for us.

The next best way, and by the way, the hardest way is usually the best way.

The reason that that's the best way is because once you go out and make this start to happen, you're going to own the entire company.

Now,

with that being said,

The next best way would be for you to get someone to loan you the money that you pay back.

But I would caution against that for where you're at right now because your concept, as much as you believe in it, has yet to be proven.

And here's the problem with taking money too fast.

If you take money too fast, you end up losing it.

You end up in a debt that you have no way to get out of.

And that becomes a major problem.

We see this a lot with small businesses because a lot of these knuckleheads on the internet tell people to go get fucking debt right away, go get a loan right away, get an investor right away when they don't understand the fundamentals of actually running the business.

And what these people typically do almost every single time is they think they can hit a home run.

And we see this mentality even as high as Super Bowl commercials.

Every year, we see Super Bowl commercials for companies that spend $8 million for a 30-second fucking spot, and then we never hear from them again.

And the reason reason that happens is because people think that they can capture customers in these gigantic groups without brand recognition, which you cannot do.

Because all that ad spend that you spend on that Super Bowl, that's only one impression to people.

So if they're unfamiliar with your brand, it's not enough for them to make a purchase.

So

I need you to remember you are a small business with limited resources, resources, which means you are going to have to obey the rule of one customer at a time.

And one customer at a time is the only way that I know how to grow a business.

It's the truth.

What happens when these small guys get money is they will say, okay, let's say they got, let's just say for simplicity, you get a $100,000 loan.

They'll take $80,000 of the loan and they'll put it towards marketing, but yet they don't know how to service the customer.

They don't have the systems in place for fulfillment.

They don't have the systems in place for reordering.

And here's what happens.

Customers order the product.

They don't get the right service.

It takes a long time.

There's things that happen along the experience that make the person say to everybody else, hey, I tried that product and the fucking company sucks.

Everybody makes this fucking mistake.

I would say 97% of small entrepreneurs make this mistake.

Yes, sir.

You have to be ready to do the proper ad spend, which means, and I want you to think about it like this, okay?

Think about a bucket.

Visualize yourself having a bucket, and in the bucket, the bottom of the bucket, there's a whole bunch of holes, okay?

And

the bucket represents your company.

You go out and you spend money to acquire a bunch of customers.

Those customers come, they look at your brand, and they go in your bucket, they buy the product, but then they fall out the bottom.

Okay.

And the reason they fall out the bottom was because of what I just said.

They got bad service, bad fulfillment.

They didn't get an answer back.

It took too long, a million other things.

Okay.

And the experience wasn't good.

And it takes time for an entrepreneur to make that experience where it needs to be so that the holes in the bucket get stopped.

And that way, when you have the customers going in, then you have repeat customers over and over and over again.

And now you have customers advocating for you, telling people how awesome your brand is.

And that's where the scaling can start to happen.

So until you're to that point where you can accumulate customers without them falling out of the bucket, if you go spend money, all you're doing is paying for people to notice how shitty your business is and then going and telling everybody about it.

So it's the exact opposite of what you're trying to create.

And fucking everybody does it, bro, because they want to hit that home run.

They want to hit that grand slam.

They want to be the 25-year-old with the Lamborghini.

Like it just doesn't work that way, bro.

So my advice to you would be to start small, to be smart, to work and use your own capital to get a small amount of product that you then test your ads and your marketing.

And by the way, you need to be on the fucking street in front, you know, in front of a table saying,

hey, nice to meet you.

This is what this does.

Like you're going to have to become the best salesman that you can.

And the best salesman is really comes down to you having the right intent.

I want to help you with this problem.

Let me solve this problem for you.

Here's how we solve solve this problem.

And then you educate them on it.

They go out and verify that what you told them was the truth.

They have an experience that aligns with the message that you gave them.

They validate that you're telling them the truth, and then they start to trust you.

And as you build that trust with customers over the course of time, they actually become loyal.

And that's where you start to scale out your company organically.

And when you get to that point, when you throw paid behind it, now you have something that's really going to go.

Does that make sense?

yes sir it does okay so

you know i listen man

i know like i spent a lot of time being very upset about

not having a lot of capital when i started but where i'm at now

if i had a lot of capital when i started i wouldn't be who i am now that's that's the facts so uh And remember, dude, at 29 years old, I had to move in.

I had to move back in with my dad at 27.

so like i was broke as

i didn't first form didn't even exist so you're not in a bad spot brother at all

yes sir love it see at the at the in at the end um my where the liquor store or whatever he told me i can set up a venue type deal with a table and if I have samples I can go in there and I can sample it out to the customers that come in as well.

So he's given me an opportunity to advertise it in any way, shape, or form.

And he even wants to sell it in the store as well.

And I've actually went out,

like I said, while I was working at O'Reilly's, which I still am, but I delivery drive.

I would go, if I went to a store, I would talk to them about it and they would be like, hey, I want to help you as much as possible.

Like, I want to, you know, whenever you get it, you come to me and I will do everything I need to do.

So I've, I've, I've used to, I'm pretty, I can say I'm pretty well with talking to people

because I have been into customer service all my life.

Good.

Tremendous skill to have, brother, especially when you're going to be an entrepreneur.

Yes, just like you say, I try to talk to five random people every day.

Every day, random.

Just to talk to them, just to see what they got to say.

And what's what's it do for your skill set, brother?

Man, yeah, it makes me have

more of a

clearer version of who I am as a person because that person could be going through something, that's right, and then you know what to say, that's right,

and then you help them in their life, as well as, oh, well, I didn't see in that perspective.

It was that time and it was that moment.

I just helped somebody else out with their life.

That's right, dude.

And honestly, that's the most important thing we've talked about the entire time

so yep you got it so that's yo you know uh

you know uh you know you've heard of bass pro shops right

yes sir you do you know where they started

i do not yeah they started in the back of a liquor store

really

One of the greatest companies that exists in the United States of America was started in the back of a liquor store selling fucking fly fishing lures that he made by hand.

Johnny Morris.

Damn.

It's one of the greatest fucking entrepreneur stories that's ever existed in this country.

And I would encourage you, I would encourage you to go learn everything you can about that man and every other man that's done something like that.

Sam Walton, all of these people, bro, they started with nothing.

Okay, and those are much more valuable people to learn from than the fucking idiot on the internet who's driving around in a fucking hurricane talking about buying their fucking chat GPT prompts.

You notice how these fuckers are now selling their prompts?

Yeah.

They're like, oh,

here's my prompt to do this.

It's like, they're not even selling knowledge anymore.

It's stupid.

Fucking same dudes that sold NFT and fucking

crypto rug pools.

And

now it's

buying my chat GPT.

Comment chat and I'll send you my chat GPT.

How about you just fucking fucking ask the chat GPT?

That's stupid.

Hey, chat, what would the proper prompt be for this?

It'll fucking give it to you.

Anyway, I'm just getting pissed off now.

But it's neither here nor there.

All right.

Go study Johnny Morris, bro.

It'll inspire you.

Yes, sir.

Hey, I'm not going to lie.

I know this myself.

Hey, I would love to keep in touch with you.

Yeah.

Honestly, for like a mentorship.

What do you look like?

You know,

are you cute?

I mean,

if you

brother, I don't do,

I don't do direct mentorship.

I honestly can't afford to do it.

I do the RT syndicate, which is a few hundred bucks a month.

But the truth of the matter is, bro, all the basics that you need, I've covered already.

So

if you haven't gone back and listened to the original MFCEO project, I would go listen to that

because that will help help you get the basics down and really the non-basics as well

about how to build a company.

So if you haven't gone back and started episode one, I mean, they're rough, dude, because like I was, you know, like anybody, when just like I said, when you start your business, you're not going to be great at it.

I wasn't great at it, but the points are made well.

So

I would start there.

You know, I could easily tell you, you know, hey, give me fucking 300 bucks a month.

You could join.

No, dude, you don't need to do that yet you don't need to do it yet so um i'm happy to mentor you from afar i will keep you in my mind when i talk about things and make content you're the exact person that i care about succeeding and uh

you know that's that's where i'm at right now brother

yes sir so i'll keep

i appreciate i appreciate all y'all yeah djo give me your instagram bro i'll give you a follow and we'll uh i'll keep an eye on you

Big bad.

Just let me know, DJ, and I'll send you my Instagram over.

I already got it.

Oh, well.

No, I got you, dog.

I got you.

All right, brother.

Well, listen.

Go do it, man.

Don't sit there and think about it.

Go fucking do it.

Yes, sir.

I want you to be a problem for me one day.

Yeah.

It's a supplement, so be ready.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm good with that.

I'm good with that.

I'm good with that.

Just makes me better.

Hey, let's, hey, whenever I get there, hey, let's talk.

Hey, I don't mind getting the first form line out.

All right.

All right.

Let's go.

Deal, bro.

All right, Chad, bro.

We appreciate you, man.

Yes, sir.

Thank y'all.

Appreciate y'all.

Y'all have a good rest of the day.

Thank you too, brother.

That's cool.

Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah, I love that.

Cool, dude, bro.

Bro, I love people that

I just love people that think bigger, man, and they're like, fuck, I'm gonna do this.

They want bigger.

Yeah, like, here's this guy from the middle of Tennessee who's like, dude, I want to do this because you inspired me.

You know, and he's going to go out and fucking build something.

I guarantee you he does it.

I can't wait to see it.

He just, you know, it's cool, man.

Yeah, it is, man.

All right, guys, we got one final one for you.

Let's uh, this is a write-in.

Uh,

hello, Andy.

Hello.

Hello.

Andy, I respect your opinion.

So I'm going to ask this question in the hopes that you answer it in some way that makes sense to me.

That's a lot of pressure.

No, I was wondering if you were going to ask me a question.

I would ask it.

Damn it.

I told myself I was going to change it for inquire now on.

Messed up.

And hear it.

Andy, I'm probably not your typical person.

I am a 56-year-old fitness guy that sold a business, but not looking to get back into business, but do something different to help the younger generation.

I can't think this is the end.

I need more legacy.

My goal was to work up, was to work for the up-and-coming clubs to help their younger people better, crunch fitness-ish.

However, when I apply, they basically say,

You're not the right fit.

I've been successful pretty much my entire career.

I feel like I've missed missed something recently.

Please tell me what my gut is already telling me.

You need purpose.

That's what you need.

Okay.

We have to have, as men especially, and women, by the way, but men especially being the traditional provider, which I believe they should be,

we have to understand

that

We have to have three elements in our life to have what we

would consider a good life, a happy life, a life that allows us to some semblance of internal peace.

We require three things.

The first thing is discipline.

If you're not in control of what it is that you could control, you can't do shit.

You're not going to be shit.

You're going to feel like shit.

You're going to have anxiety.

You're going to be frustrated.

You're going to be angry.

You're going to go through life feeling powerless.

You're going to have low confidence.

You're going to have low self-esteem.

And to be completely honest, it's going to ruin your fucking life.

Okay.

So if you don't have discipline and you haven't cultivated it in your life, expect a long or maybe shorter life of fucking misery.

That's the truth.

Cultivating discipline inside yourself and becoming somebody who understands how to create momentum, how to make the decisions that you need to make, not the ones you want to make,

And being able to control the things that we are control of is the foundation of everything.

Here's what we could control.

We could control what we eat.

We could control what we drink.

We could control how we move.

We can control the information we put in our head.

We can control the things that we deem worthy to go after.

We can control our network, our community, our circle of people that we surround ourselves with.

Outside of that,

there's not a whole lot that we can control.

But the good news is, is that that's most of the shit that will actually dictate the outcome of our lives.

So we got to have that discipline.

The next thing we got to have is purpose.

We have to have a purpose that's bigger than ourselves.

It can't just be, I want to be jacked ripped and rich.

And, you know, I want to fucking,

you know, spend money.

That's not a purpose, bro.

That's not a purpose that will never, ever, ever and never has fulfilled anybody.

Okay, so the purpose has to be bigger.

What is it that you love to do?

And I already know because I come from the same industry.

You love to see people change their motherfucking lives.

You love to see someone who's 100 pounds overweight lose all the weight, become a completely different person, take control of their lives, and go on to live an entirely different life because of the things that you either taught them or helped them realize.

Okay.

Your purpose right now.

And by the way, a lot of entrepreneurs deal with this.

Your purpose right now has been suspended because you sold your business and you got out of business.

And that for the last probably,

you know, however many years was your purpose and your ultimate purpose in business was to make people better.

So, and the third thing you need is gratitude.

You have to be able to look at where you are, even if you're on day one, even if you're fucking miserable.

You have to be able to back it out and say, actually, I'm very grateful for who I am, where I'm at.

I'm healthy enough.

I'm intelligent enough.

I have the ability to work enough.

God has put me in a tremendous place to build an incredible story.

And you have to be grateful for where you're at.

Even when I was totally broke and didn't have anything going for me and everybody was laughing at me,

I still felt grateful, dude.

I was still, at the end of the day, when I prayed, I was like, man, thank you.

I wouldn't trade places with anybody.

And that was part of my, that was part, it's still part of my prayer, dude.

Like I,

and I know this sounds crazy and probably egotistical.

I don't know, but I wouldn't trade with anybody.

I wouldn't trade my life for anybody else's life.

It doesn't matter who they are.

And I felt that way when I was fucking broke.

I felt that way when I was fat.

I felt that way when I didn't, quote unquote, have shit going for me.

It was just something that I was able to do.

And back then, I was grateful for the opportunity, even if I wasn't capitalizing on it.

I was grateful for, you know, the people around me.

I was grateful for my friends, my family, my dogs, whatever I could fucking find to be grateful for, because it puts you in the right vibrational energy state.

So it sounds like you have the discipline and I'm sure you have the gratitude, but what you're lacking right now is purpose and you've got to figure out what that is.

And I think you already know what that is.

You love helping people get better.

So how are you going to do that now versus how you did it before?

And that doesn't necessarily look like something that you have to go get hired at a gym for.

You know, there's lots of ways to do this, man.

You can volunteer.

You could start your own boot camp for free.

Like there's all kinds of shit you could do, brother, that helps people.

I mean,

you could help people one-on-one, man.

You know, there's lots of different ways.

And you're going to have to figure out that way that fulfills you.

And if it's not that, then you're going to have to fill

your life with a different purpose.

You know, one of my really good friends sold his business.

And after he sold his business, his purpose became he wanted to take care of wildlife so he opened up a wildlife reserve and that's what he does and that's his purpose and while it's not the same thing as he did before it's something that fulfills him so he still practices discipline he's still very grateful he's not in business but he's fulfilled by this other purpose

and i would caution any entrepreneur that is exiting their business

to never exit your business without an understanding of what you're going to do next.

Because I have seen so many people work their whole lives, sell their business for so much fucking money, and then be completely miserable.

In fact, I've known a couple that have killed themselves because they've been so depressed.

And they don't realize that it's not about the money, bro.

It's about seeing the project through.

It's about being grateful for where you are.

And it's about fulfilling your purpose on a daily basis.

And And yes, when you don't have any money, it's about money.

But if it always stays about money, you're always going to be fucking broke emotionally.

So,

and fulfillment-wise.

So, so I would say, man, like, look, you got to do some deep digging here about what's going to fulfill you for the next part of your life.

You know, 57 years old is not that old anymore.

There's all kinds of technology.

There's all kinds of things coming out.

You know, one of my buddies,

he said to me recently, he's, he's battling cancer.

He's doing really good, and I think he's going to make it.

I fucking thought he was going to die for sure.

But he pulled through and

he said to me, he goes, bro, I'm like, man, you're doing good.

He's like, yeah.

He's like, I fucking watch what Elon's doing.

He's like, I know I got to only make it like five more years.

I could live forever.

So he's not the first person to live to 150 on a lifetime, bro.

I mean, maybe the second or third, considering some of these ghouls that are running the world.

But,

you know, at the end of the day, man, we have to understand that purpose is what drives fulfillment.

And without it,

no matter how much money you make, you're not going to feel good.

And I would argue on top of that, that people that make the most money have the strongest purpose that just aligns with something that can make money.

You know, like people, when you ask people and you say, hey, what's the purpose of starting a business?

Every fucking single one of them will say, to make money.

The purpose of a business is not to make money.

The purpose of a business is to solve a fucking problem at scale Which then people trade money for it's a fucking different perspective and when you look at it like you're trying to solve the problem the best that you can People recognize that and trade you their money for it and the richest motherfuckers in the world understand that they make the best products they can

and They understand that people will give them their money for it And that's what they do.

So the product has to benefit people.

It has to be real.

It can't be a fucking pie in the sky you know bullshit you know what i mean it's it's the people who are the best make the most money and the reason is is because the whole entire reason the business exists is to solve problems for the customers so when you adjust your mindset around that the money comes but neither here nor there uh you got to have a purpose no matter what or you're going to be miserable so you know when i think of my life You know, my purpose is as big as it could fucking possibly be, bro.

I want to save the motherfucking world.

I want to change culture in a way to where these criminal tyrants can't ever fuck with people ever again because everybody's fit, independently wealthy, strong, mentally stable,

not

easily manipulated.

You know, when we have personal excellence at scale, it creates a population that cannot be controlled.

And that's what I want to do at scale.

That's a big fucking mission.

It's going to take my whole life and I'll probably still lose.

Okay.

But the bigger the mission, the bigger the purpose, the bigger the actions the bigger the results the bigger the payoff the bigger the fulfillment like it's got to be big bro at least for me yeah so yeah man um

i think everybody

should have a purpose in their life

that cannot

that is not passive meaning

people will say

you know

I'm just going to say this.

People are going to get upset about it, but it's the truth.

We have this new revival of Christianity, okay, which I love.

I'm happy for.

I think it's great.

But then we also have these people who are, you know, quitting their jobs, quitting their, and they're saying, I live for the, for the church, or I live for the Bible or the scripture.

And it's like, bro, that's, you're missing a point.

You're given gifts.

You are given talents.

The Bible talks about it.

And when you don't use them, it's a slap in the face to your Savior.

So sitting and hiding behind God or Christianity or prayer or scripture and doing nothing with your life is cowardly and not respected by God.

And it talks about that in the Bible.

So,

you know, we have to have a big vision.

We have to take big action.

We have to be big purpose.

And the purpose needs to be active, something that we create, something that we do, something that we contribute to other people.

And I don't know what that is for you, brother, but you got to figure it out.

And if you don't figure it out, you're going to be miserable.

I love it, dude.

Yeah.

I love it, man.

Guys, that makes sense.

Absolutely, bro.

Absolutely.

I was going to, you kind of covered it.

I was going to ask, though, but like, you know, what's the dangers?

What's the risk of not having that purpose?

Like, you could be as disciplined as you want and practice your gratitude.

Yeah.

But if you don't have a purpose bigger than yourself,

what's the point?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the point?

Drive yourself crazy.

What's the point, bro?

I've been ripped.

I've been rich.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

You think I fucking really give a shit?

I've lived that way for so long.

I don't fucking care.

You know what I care about?

My purpose.

You know what I I care about?

Helping people get better.

You know what I care about?

Making people personally excellent so that these fucking tyrants can't keep fucking with everybody.

That's what I care about.

And that's an impossible mission to achieve.

But

the ideas and the business that will result from this, which you guys haven't even fucking heard about yet.

There's a reason I wasn't fucking doing anything on the internet for five years, by the way.

What I've created will solve that fucking problem.

And I believe it'll be the biggest product in the fucking history of mankind.

That's the truth.

But it comes out of passion and service.

You see what I'm saying?

Absolutely.

So, absolutely, man.

I love it.

I love it, man.

Well, guys, Andy, that was three.

Yeah.

All right, guys.

Well, let's get after it this week.

And we'll see you tomorrow on CTI.

Don't be a hoe.

Check the show.

We're sleeping on the floor.

Now my druid box froze.

Fuck up bowl, fuck up stove.

Counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her on bank road can't fold just a no head shot case close