944. Q&AF: Rethinking Success, Redefining Life’s Mission & Balancing Business Responsibilities

52m

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to rethink success when your job is going well but feels unfulfilling, how to discover your real purpose in life, and how to work through the difficulties of co-owning a small business.

Listen and follow along

Transcript

Yeah, we're sleeping on the floor.

Now, my druid box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold, just a no.

Headshot, case closed, close, close.

What is up, guys?

It's Andy for Sellin.

This is the show for the realists.

Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys.

Today, we have Q and AF.

That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now if you want to submit your questions to be answered on the show you can do that a number of different ways DJ is going to tell you how yeah the first way guys you can email your questions in to askandy at andyforsella.com you guys can also submit your questions in the YouTube comments on the QA of episodes or just click the link in the bio in the description below if you'd like to be pooled to be a caller

yeah

Is that it?

Yep.

Okay.

Yep, that was all.

So ask us your questions.

We'll give you your answers.

If this is your first time listening, we have multiple formats of the show.

Today's QAF, tomorrow's going to be CTI.

That stands for Cruise the Internet.

That's where we put topics on the screen.

We speculate on what's going on.

We talk about how we, the people, need to solve these problems being created in society.

And

yeah, that's it.

That's it.

What else do we got?

We do have a fee.

We got 75 75 Hard Versus.

We got that.

Yeah.

Real Talks.

We got Real Talks.

We got all kinds of stuff.

Talk some real.

Yeah.

Shows within the show, baby.

Hey, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, where the fuck you been?

But if you're interested in it, you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.

Again, that's 208 on the audio feed.

75 Hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever, and it's free.

All right.

Episode 208 in the audio feed.

And then you can get the book called The Book on Mental Toughness at andyForsella.com.

It is not free.

We do have a fee for the show.

Fee is very simple.

Do us a favor.

Don't be a hoe.

Show the show.

Yeah.

What's up?

Hi.

Hi.

How's it going, man?

Good.

Yeah.

Just had to replace the rim on my truck.

What happened?

Benson cracked it again.

Did you ever find the snake?

No.

Really?

Yep.

Now, you know,

so you know what shit's happening to you thinking, like, you know,

it's almost like a hyperchondriac almost.

So as soon as I was like driving yesterday, I started getting smells.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I started smelling shit coming through the vents.

Well, you think it killed it?

Well, I think so.

But so, like, the first one, I started smelling like a skunk, but it was just a black dude in front of me smoking weed.

So I'm like, okay, we're good.

Then I started smelling like some like, it was just like weird, like nasty burnt plastic.

Hmm.

I'm like, what's that?

And then I saw a white dude smoking meth driving in front of me.

So I'm like, okay, got it.

That's not that.

Yeah.

So it's not the snake.

It's not the snake.

So you didn't smell the snake.

No, I didn't.

I was just freaking out thinking I was, man.

Yeah.

I don't know, dude.

I don't, it's weird, bro.

It's so weird.

Yeah.

It's so weird.

Well, I don't like it.

R.I.P.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, uh, but yeah, and then I had to replace a rim attire, you know.

How'd that happen?

St.

Louis potholes, bro.

We got some bad roads here.

Yeah, how come I never have to replace rims?

You don't go to the city like that, though.

Yeah.

You do?

Yeah.

Where?

Like 55 northbound, bro.

Where do you go down there?

I still go.

I got family down there, bro.

It's still being in the shade.

So that's where you hurt the rim?

Yeah, on the state streets.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

It's hot over there.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

So, you know, it's been a good day, though.

You know, I'm here.

I got some good questions for you.

All right.

We're going to make some people better today.

How you feeling?

You know what?

Five alive?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think so.

Still trying to get past this.

Kung flu.

Yeah, whatever it was.

The kung flu.

The Chinese virus.

China.

That's right.

Why do you keep calling it the Chinese virus?

Because it's from China.

That's right.

That's right.

Well, yeah, man.

Let's let's let's do it.

Let's uh let's get some calls in.

I got three of them.

All right.

So let's knock these out.

All right.

Yeah, first question.

I've got to write in for you.

Andy,

I've been teaching martial arts for almost 20 years while simultaneously being a full-time school teacher.

I never did it for money.

I did it because it gave me a way to help people transform their lives.

But now I'm tired.

I'm five years away from retirement and I'm struggling to keep the school open.

Part of me wants to close it, take my time back, and start pouring into the people in my immediate circle, the ones who've often taken a back seat while I've served this passion for two decades.

I know I don't need your permission to make this decision.

What I am asking is for your perspective.

In your view, does success have to be measured by big accomplishments or

can it be found in the smaller, quieter things we invest in?

I feel guilty for wanting to stop like I'll be letting others down, but I'm stuck at this

crossroads, and I want to hear how you see it.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

I have a month left to make this decision.

Well, what's it matter what I think or what I see?

You're the one that's got to live your life, dude.

You know, I can't sit here and tell you.

what success means for every individual.

I exist for those people who want to go out and and build an extraordinarily traditional, successful life.

Make money, kick ass, be fit, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Okay.

I can't tell you how to determine success for yourself, but here's what I will tell you

is that a lot of people, when they have a hard time making financial success,

They will start to tell themselves a story about how it's not that important and I didn't really want it and it wasn't something that I wanted anyway.

And I got tricked into going for it.

And then they start blaming everybody for their own failures and then settle into a life that they never actually wanted because what they actually wanted ended up being much harder than they anticipated.

So my warning to you would be

it's okay to determine success as being different things than what, you know, maybe we talk about here on the show.

That's fine.

But

at the end of the day,

most

people who abandon the traditional

wins of a successful life that most people consider to be successful, making good money, being fit, having strong relationships, having a good life, doing what it is you want to do.

You know, these people are moving away from that because they couldn't cut it.

And so I would just warn you to make sure that that's not what's going on.

You know, if you've done this for 20 years and you're truly tired of it and you want to change and you want to do, dude, by all means, man, you know, we only got one life to live and you got to do the things that make you happy.

But at the end of the day, being broke doesn't make anybody happy.

No matter what anybody says, no matter how they try to play it, no matter how they try to spin it, that makes you fucking miserable and it makes your life a lot harder.

And,

you know, I guess my

answer to this question would just be just really think about why it is you feel the way you feel.

Because if it's a temporary thing and then you give it up,

that's going to be a problem because it's going to be hard to get it going back again.

And you might not have the opportunity to go back again.

If it's a long-term feeling that you've felt for a long time and maybe you need a switch of direction in your life, that's fine too.

But make no mistake, dude.

There's going to be no sitting around relaxing, chilling, talking about the good old days, enjoying the breeze through your hair without some financial fucking freedom.

That's the reality, okay?

And you will have all these people tell you all these things about how it's not important and it's this and that and this and that.

But then out the other side of their mouth, they're always complaining about how they don't have any fucking money, how life's not fair, how fucking hard it is.

And they bitch and whine and complain about the things they say that they don't even want in the first place, which is the ultimate form of hypocrisy and the most annoying form of hypocrisy because it's very apparent to everybody else from the outside what's actually going on.

You know, you're not the first person who ever decided to make a change because it was hard out there.

And,

you know, you got to tell yourself, oh, well, I got different priorities now.

And then just give up on the dream.

Like, bro, people have been doing this forever.

And it's interesting to me how many people try to hide behind this.

How many people try to fool people.

They try to act like they're having some sort of moral enlightenment moment when in reality, bro, you're just fucking unable to do it.

And you're not willing to put the work in that's required to become.

the person that you actually want to become.

And if you're quitting on yourself like that, I can promise you the rest of your life, you're going going to regret.

So you got to be very careful when you make decisions like this.

Are you making this decision because it's actually the truth?

What you're saying is the truth.

I want a change of direction.

I want to do something different.

I want to do different with my life.

If that's true, then go do that.

If it is.

You are saying, man, I've never really been able to make this work.

I've never been able to make this go.

I've never been able to.

So I'm just going to kind of retire myself and look another direction and pretend that I just want to be this vagabond, hippie mentality type person.

You're going to be miserable there too.

So I would just be very careful when you make decisions about changing paths on what you're doing and take all things into account.

Yes, quality of life is the ultimate

point here, right?

We want to get to a point where we're happy, we're productive, we've got the resources to do what we want.

That's what everybody wants.

But,

you know,

we somehow in this country have started to mistake

pulling away from what some people will call the rat race into some little, you know, like simpleton life, which by the way is fine, okay?

But

you think you're not going to have any fucking problems, dude.

I mean

You're going to have problems.

It's going to be hardships.

There's going to be things you can't do.

There's going to be limitations.

And if you're okay with those things, that's fine.

But the reality is, from my experience, most people that

ask questions like I'm being asked right now are doing so because it's very fucking hard at the moment.

And they're trying to justify moving on to something else.

And they're trying to make their quitting sound more

palatable.

Acceptable to everybody.

Correct.

And themselves.

And it's just another justification that our bitch voice tells us about how we want to live our life.

And then once we get into it, we're right back where we started, where it's like, fuck, dude, I want more than this.

This is not what I wanted.

And then you're back at zero.

So 20 years.

Yeah, dude.

It's a hard, it's a hard decision to make.

And I think a lot of people

with the way society is right now, I mean, look, dude, you see people quit their jobs and other people cheer for them.

You know what I'm saying?

They're so strong.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're like, oh, I'm so proud of you.

That's the weakest, loserist shit on the fucking planet.

And if you look, all those people that do that all quit their jobs and are miserable and not doing shit and struggling.

And they put on this face out in the world like they're so much happier and they're so this and that.

But dude, you can't be that happy when you can't afford to fucking take care of your shit.

You can't be that happy when you know you're leaving all your talents and skills and potential on the table.

You can't be that happy when you're struggling every day to buy a fucking gallon of milk.

It's just impossible.

So, you know, I see through the bullshit, and so does everybody else, by the way.

You're not fooling anybody.

So, I would just make sure my perspective is what you asked for.

I would just make sure that whatever you decide

to do,

you have a plan of what you're going to do next and it and it

and it mass it masks out so that it can support your lifestyle.

I think, because I read the emails, I read these questions and stuff that come in, and I feel like there's always this common question at the root of it that people are really asking.

And,

you know, I guess the question is, when you're on the path of success,

there's plenty of metaphors and analogies that you can put this to.

But when you're on that path of success, you're climbing that ladder or you're in the jungle, right?

You're in the weeds.

What are the signs that you look for to know that you're where you're supposed to be?

How do you know I'm putting all this work in?

I'm putting all this effort in.

How do I know that this is going to work?

Well, that's the hard part of being successful, DJ.

You don't always know.

Dude, being able to live with the uncertainty of going down the path is part of the skill set that has to be developed for successful individuals.

There's no guaranteed path for people.

There was no guaranteed path for Elon Musk.

There was no guaranteed path for Jeff Bezos.

There was no guaranteed path for me.

There was no guaranteed path for any of these people that you look up to.

They took a risk.

And the reason they took the risk was because instead of asking themselves, man, what's going to happen if I go out there and fail?

They asked themselves the inverse of that, which is, what's going to happen if I never fucking try?

What's going to happen if I never go after this?

What's going to happen if I don't give it everything I got?

What's my life going to to be like if I let this idea or this project or this business pass?

Okay.

And that is more painful to them than the idea of falling on their face.

I don't give a single fuck about what anybody thinks about me falling on my fucking face.

Okay.

I've already accomplished more than 99.99999999%

of humans that ever motherfucking walked the face of this planet will ever accomplish.

So I don't care if I fall on my fucking face.

What I actually care about is if I have something that I feel driven to do and I don't do it, how am I going to feel when I'm going to die?

Okay.

And that's what makes successful people, driven people, achievement happen.

They don't wonder, what's going to happen if I do this and I embarrass myself.

They don't give a fuck, bro.

What they wonder is, man, if I don't go do this, how am I going to feel about it knowing that it could have worked?

Or if I see someone else do it and it works.

And then I just let it sit there.

And, you know, I didn't do anything with it.

And I didn't become who I was supposed to become and I didn't get in shape and I didn't make that money and I didn't build that, you know, project or I didn't do that business or I didn't build that organization.

I didn't ask that girl out.

I didn't fucking didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't.

Bro, you're going to be dead.

You're going to be fucking dead.

Okay.

So you're really not risking anything.

That's the point.

All right.

Nobody's going to remember that you started a little business and fell on your fucking face in 30 years.

No one gives a shit.

The only way they're going to remember is if you fell on on your face enough, learned enough, and built it into something amazing where it's recognized universally by everybody.

Otherwise, they're not even going to remember you falling down.

You know how many fucking times I fell on my face building what we've got now?

A million times.

Do you know how many times people bring it up?

Zero.

They don't give a shit because I've won.

Okay.

Well, I haven't won.

By the standard, yeah.

By the standard, their standard.

I don't feel like I've won.

I feel like I'm just getting started.

But the point is, is that you have to start thinking like a winner and like a successful person thinks.

And successful people understand that falling on your face in front of a bunch of fucking losers isn't shit.

It doesn't matter.

Don't fucking care.

What the fuck do I care what people think?

You know what I'm saying?

That's the attitude.

They're not paying my fucking bills.

They're not, they're, you know, like, dude, it's irrelevant.

And dude, people on the beginning side of the journey,

dude, and it makes sense, okay?

Like, it's their perspective, right?

Like,

when this is your world, okay, and you're living in this little bubble that you see as your entire world, and you're refusing to understand that there is this entire fucking universe outside of that bubble that has no idea who you are, doesn't care who you are,

doesn't care about you.

To think that they're going to care that you fall on your face is egotistical.

You're giving yourself more importance as an individual than what you actually have.

You're worried about the wrong shit.

It's not even that.

You're fucking arrogant.

You think you're more important than you fucking actually are.

You are not that important.

You are not important enough for people to really give a fuck about you falling on your face.

You're only important enough to you.

You care about that, but the rest of the world doesn't.

So if the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck,

why do you give a fuck?

It's like going ice skating, bro.

You go ice skating, right?

This is the best example I can fucking think of.

Because almost everybody sucks at ice skating.

Okay, when you go to fucking ice skating and you put on the fucking rental, now not me, because I've played hockey my whole life, but when you put fucking skates on

and you go to the little thing and you rental and you see everybody falling on your ass out there, what do you think?

You don't think anything.

No, I'm next.

Yeah, you're like, fuck, dude.

Come on, fall my ass out there.

You don't even fucking think about it.

And everybody's falling on their ass.

They're eating shit.

They're fucking falling down in front of their kids.

And nobody gives a fuck.

Nobody gives a fuck.

Now, that's the same way business works.

That's the same way achievement works.

That's the same way setting a goal and going after it works.

Everybody falls all the time.

But for some reason, when it comes to this part of our lives, we have a big problem with people seeing us fall.

We're like, oh, man, I don't want to fucking stumble.

Bro, it's the same thing.

Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing when they get started.

And only after, you know, a hundred times of skating, do you see the motherfucker come out and do the

fucking triple sow cows and shit and make you look like a fucking idiot in front of your girl.

You know what I'm saying?

And you're like, that guy's fucking gay.

Like, you know, but like, dude, we fucking, we fucking don't think of it the right way.

Okay.

Everybody's falling down.

You just don't see it.

They don't get on the internet and say, oh, I fucking fell down again today.

Oh, guess what?

I bounced a check today.

Oh, guess what?

I'm out of money today.

Oh, guess what?

Guess what?

They don't do that.

All they do is they say, fuck, bro, I made a $70 million in one fucking minute.

Buy my course.

And that's what we're seeing.

And that's not real.

The realest shit is to understand that everybody falls the fuck down.

And

if you can't accept that you're going to be one of those,

how can you ever become the guy doing the fucking triple whoop-de-woops?

You know what I'm saying?

You can't do that.

I'm sure he had a first day, too.

Dude, listen, bro.

How are you going to become an effective ice skater if you don't get on the fucking ice?

You can't do it.

You can't do it.

You can sit there in the fucking stands.

You can watch them

unlimited.

You can watch.

You can say, oh, look at that guy.

Look at this guy.

Look at that guy.

Look at this guy.

Look at that guy.

Look at this guy.

You're not going to learn until you get the fuck out there.

And then what you're going to realize is all the motherfuckers laughing at you, they won't even get on the fucking ice.

They won't even fucking put the skates on.

They don't lace up.

No.

So why do you care what they think?

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

And this number, this, this major mental block

is just not understood by people.

You know, people will say, so I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks.

Well, if that's the case, why aren't you doing shit?

You can say that all you want, but your actions tell the story.

So I just think, you know, we all have to realize like

nobody's

Nobody that you admire started out going out on the ice the first time and fucking looking like Wayne Gretzky, bro.

It's just not reality.

And if you're not willing to look stupid, you can't do it.

I love it, bro.

I love it, man.

I love it.

We got

another question in, man.

Let's get a call.

Let's get Brandon

on the phone.

Hello.

Hello, is this Brandon?

Hello?

Hello, is this Brandon?

Can Can you hear me?

Yes, sir.

Brandon, what's going on, man?

What's going on, dog?

What's up with you, man?

Where are you calling from?

Charlotte, North Carolina.

Okay.

All right.

I heard the twang in there.

Yeah, what's up, Brandon?

A little bit in there.

What's going on, Andy?

How you doing?

I'm doing good, brother.

How you doing?

Cannot complain.

I'm on my way back from Knoxville.

From Knoxville?

Yes, sir.

Oh, man.

That's beautiful country out there, man.

It is.

What are you doing?

I drive trucks for a living.

All right.

Cool.

Cool.

Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that.

All right, Brandon.

So, what we got, man?

How can we help?

So, my question to you guys is

that I am, well, to give you a little history.

I'm 24 years old.

I have a young family of three.

I have a three-year-old, a fiancé,

and I have another another son on the way due in January.

I'm a truck driver.

I'm in the military as well.

I'm in the Air Force Reserves.

Basically, my question to you is, is that I'm stuck in like between a rock and a hard place right now to where

I feel like I've accomplished building the foundation for my family.

And I'm trying to find a direction on where to build upwards from.

And I'm always asking my family members, like, hey, what should I be doing?

Should I be doing this?

Should I be doing that?

Like, well, they're like, well, Brandon, you're 24.

Just relax, you know, enjoy what you've done.

I'm like, no, but it's nothing.

Like, I'm itching for something else.

It's like I'm trying to find another purpose to fulfill, to feel fulfilling.

Because, yes, I'm grateful for my accomplishments, but I feel like there's something else that I should be doing and I can't figure it out.

All right.

So let me ask you this.

Are you?

Yes, sir.

What do you

you're talking about your job, correct?

Not necessarily my job, because I want to say

my goal is to end up buying my own rig and owning it.

But,

you know, that's,

you know, I've been saving up for a while, been driving for like three years now.

So, you know, that's

neither here or there, but I'm trying to figure out what other steps can I take towards that.

Is there something else that I should be doing, there's something I can't be doing.

Like,

I'm trying to figure out which direction to go either, or if I should just be like, Well, I've done everything I can do right now, I'm gonna just sit.

But I'm like, No, but I can't do that.

Yeah, so let me let me okay.

First of all,

for 24 years old, bro, you're doing really good, okay?

And

you, you should feel definitely good that you've you've you're moving the right direction.

You know, your family's growing.

You feel a sense of deep obligation to provide and set a foundation for them.

And you have a goal past the point of where you're trying to go.

Now, here's where I would,

this is what I would tell you, dude.

Owning a truck

is,

that's a goal, right?

But like, bro, you're 24, man.

You could own a thousand trucks.

You know what I'm saying?

So, my encouragement towards you is to realize that whatever limits that you have in your brain, those are other people's limits.

Those are people's limits that you've grown up around.

Those are people's limits that, you know, you've had installed into you, whether through school or the military or people that you respect.

And that's not a bad thing, but you just have to recognize that your life is your life, Brandon, and you already have something that most people your age do not have, which is self-awareness of what's going on.

And while a lot of people are going to look at what you're doing and they're going to say, Brandon, you're doing great, bro.

Just chill, just relax, let it happen, let it happen.

That's how you end up doing the same thing you're doing now when you're 34 and then you're 44, and now you're fucking miserable with that.

So, you having your mind

in the place that it is is a very good place to have it because you're what I'm hearing from Brandon is I'm hungry I want to move I want to be fulfilled I want to make sure I'm putting my time into something that's going to be worthy of that investment and

that is a powerful mentality to have when you're young because

Most people don't get that until it's too late.

They will listen to your friends right now, Brandon, and they will say, all right, cool, I'm doing good.

And then at 34, they'll be in the same spot and their friends will be saying the same thing.

Brandon, what are you bitching about, dude?

You're doing good.

You're doing great.

This is okay.

And you're not happy.

Okay.

And then at 44, you know, you finally wake up and you say, man,

I've been living to their standards and I want this, but now you've wasted all this time.

So the good news is, is that you are not going to have to waste all this time.

You're already on top of it.

And to your friends and families who are telling you, you know, hey, man, just relax.

Dude, look, that's their limits.

That's their life.

That's what they want.

That's not what's going to make you fulfilled, or you wouldn't even be asking the question.

So,

what do I think you should do?

I think you should continue to do what you're doing.

I think you should learn as much as you can about your profession.

I think you should figure out a business plan of how you're going to have 10 trucks by the age of 30, not one truck.

And I think you need to start taking action against that.

Because, dude, I'm telling you, bro, like

when I was 24 years old, I was four or five years into my business.

I still only had one retail store.

And if someone had came to me

and said,

bro, you're thinking too fucking small, that would have benefited me a lot.

Because it took me another six years to really get shit going because I thought that I was winning.

I thought, you know, hey, man, I'm doing good.

Most people don't have this business.

But the truth of the matter was I wasn't fulfilled.

It wasn't big enough.

It didn't require all my attention.

I didn't have to pour myself into it the way that I, you know, that I do now.

And I needed that project to be fulfilled.

So,

you know,

I would encourage you to think about that, Brandon.

I would say, how are you going to own 10 trucks by the time you're 30?

And how are you going to 1,000 by the time you're 40?

That's what I would like to see from Brandon because.

It's not going away, bro.

And,

you know, your expertise

in logistics and trucking, you know, let's say you maybe five years, maybe it's all automated trucks, but you have such good relationships with the companies and the logistics and all these things that you're able to create an amazing logistics company off of that.

So, you know, bro, a lot of times when people feel unfulfilled, it's really just because they don't have something that's big enough that requires.

all of their skill set.

I was just telling my friends here, my buddies, in the podcast studio yesterday,

this is a parallel story, but you'll understand what I'm saying.

I was not a very good student.

I tested very high on standardized tests, the SAT, the ACT.

I would test out of the fucking room on those.

But my grade point average was a 2.0.

I was ranked at one of the top academic high schools in the whole country almost last.

I was like in the top, I was in in the bottom 10 in my class.

And

when I went to college, I got, because I tested so high, I got into some nice colleges and I went to St.

Louis University for my first semester.

And in my first semester, I ended up finding my way into a level four political science class.

And dude, it was so,

so hard.

But at the end of the semester, I got the highest grade in the class.

Everybody else got C's and B's.

I got an A plus.

And the reason reason I did was because it was so hard.

It required all of my attention, all of my interest.

And I felt very proud of that.

And that was the first time in school that I ever felt like, yeah, I did something here.

This mattered.

And it took me until, you know, funny enough, that was almost the end of my college career.

But the point is, is that, dude, if we don't test ourselves and we don't push ourselves and we don't hold ourselves into account to be great,

we're gonna feel like we left it on the table bro and that's the last thing you want you know what i'm saying

correct 100 because see that's why i joined the military to begin with because i joined the military right out of high school then the whole covet thing happened and then i ended up getting put out of the military because of the whole mandate stuff three years down the line when my son turned he's turning four this year I ended up going back in because of him.

All right.

Well, I owe it to him, but also I didn't feel fulfilled in my military service also because I feel like I left up on the table there as well.

So that's why I eventually ended up joining the military again.

Yeah.

Well, look, bro, here's the thing.

Anything we do in life, if we don't give it our all, it's never going to fulfill us.

No matter, like, bro, even if you're like, if you're on a fucking sports team and your sports team wins the national championship

and you and you didn't try as hard as you could have you're gonna always feel like that trophy doesn't really belong to you you know and

and that's a very important point of our life like and that can go even into

in even into CEOs and founders and operators of companies like there becomes a point where you know

when you found a company if you're doing it right they don't really need you and

When the company is performing really well, but they don't need you, that creates an empty feeling, even though you're you're you're checking all the boxes the score is the right score you're making the right money things are going well but because you're not putting it in you end up feeling depressed and unfulfilled and dude honestly this is why a lot we hear these you know very successful people end up dealing with very dark dark issues um

because the way the game has been presented to them is

work hard, automate the business, step away, let it print money.

And then these people go get on their boat and they're fucking miserable, bro, because the game isn't about what you get, it's what you give.

It's what you're giving, it's what you contribute, it's what you put in.

And when you're not putting it all in, bro, you're never gonna feel fulfilled.

You're right, I know, brother.

So, look, man, you get what my long story short, one sentence answer.

You got to expand your goals, bro.

Bigger vision for you.

You weren't meant to have just one motherfucking truck, bro.

I can hear it in your voice.

Okay.

You were meant to do something

that is much bigger than that.

And you have a lot of life and a lot of skill and a lot of hunger and a lot of love inside of you, bro.

I can hear it.

And you got to put that into something,

you know, your career, your family, 100%, dude.

And you're going to, that feeling, you're feeling, all that is, is your conscious,

it's probably a little bit of God, too, telling you, hey, Brandon, this ain't it, bro.

You're meant for bigger shit.

Yeah.

Because I've gotten, because even with the company I drive for now, it's like, I've already been here, what, maybe like a year and a half now.

And I've...

I'm doing more than the people that's been here longer than me.

I started at the bottom doing night shift driving, switched the days, maybe a year, six months, being into the company.

Now I have the people, the people that have been in the company longer than me envying me, oh, how he did this first, or how did he do this, going to the managers complaining.

Yeah, well, all I hear is come on.

You know?

Yeah, well, I mean, it sucks to suck.

It does.

They can fucking hate all they want, bro.

You're doing the work.

They're not doing it.

Just wait till you got your own truck and company.

They're putting in job applications.

That's right.

That's right.

Sounds broken, bro.

Brandon here here is a winner bro you can hear it yeah i love it dude i love it brandon we appreciate you calling man hope that helps

i appreciate y'all thank y'all so much for what y'all do honestly y'all have overly overly helped me with this problem and i appreciate y'all and i listen to y'all every day every morning in the truck so y'all get my day started every morning

we appreciate you man thank you so much brandon you got to text us tech text this number and picture that first truck you get, bro.

I want to see it.

Yeah.

I got y'all.

All right, man.

I'll see you, Brandon.

See you, dude.

All right.

I love that, man.

And it's so important, bro, because...

Bro, this is why the fuck I do this.

I love it.

That is why the fuck I do this.

That is why I do this.

People are like,

what do you fucking do all this shit?

That's why.

That's why.

Young man.

Going out, building something that matters, taking care of his family, setting a fucking example, holding the standard higher,

getting

his peers are all pissed off.

Yeah, they're pissed off because you're doing what they should be doing.

I fucking love that.

Dude, it's like that, that lesson of just thinking bigger is so fucking valuable.

Bro, it's hard though.

Bro, it's hard for people when they don't, if they don't have any examples of what that looks like or they don't know, you know, what

it's hard.

That's why you have a very difficult thing.

That's why you have to go

and intentionally get in proximity of successful people and the life that you want.

When I had nothing, I would drive up and down the streets of nice neighborhoods and look at houses.

When I couldn't afford a fucking Ford truck brand new, I was going in the fucking Lamborghini dealerships and looking at Lamborghinis with my brother for years.

For years.

Okay.

You have to intentionally put yourself in situations that allow you to touch, experience, taste that life.

If that means going to dinner once every six months to a really nice place that you really shouldn't be going to dinner to, you should do that.

Okay.

If that means, you know, paying a hundred bucks or fucking a couple hundred bucks to be in proximity of other motherfuckers that are that are on your level or that you want to be, that's that's what you should do.

You have to be intentional about putting yourself in contact with these things because, dude, you're right, bro.

Most people never know someone who drives a fucking Rolls-Royce.

Most people don't know someone who's built a real company

that employs all these people and shit.

Most people don't know,

they don't,

bro, we don't know.

Yeah, seen it online ain't enough.

I was fortunate enough, dude.

Yes, I was fortunate enough to actually know a guy who was fairly young

who was successful.

And

I mean, it ended up not being a very good thing.

He ended up with some problems, but I just leave it at that.

But the point is, is that if you can't see it, it's hard to believe it.

It's hard to believe that it's possible.

So you have to put yourself in the proximity of these things that you want and this life that you're trying to build on a consistent basis.

And the most interesting thing that will happen to you when you surround yourself with people that are very successful is that you will realize they're really not any different than you.

They're really not.

They're the same.

And there's no magic and there's no, they don't have these,

they're just a regular person, bro, who fucking went all in and never fucking stopped.

You know?

And you just haven't started yet.

Yeah.

That's all it is.

I love it, dude.

I love it.

We got another call.

Let's get another call in, man.

We got Amy on the phone.

Let's give Amy a call.

This is Amy.

Amy, how's it going?

This is DJ.

Hi, how are y'all?

I'm good.

How are you?

Fabulous.

Thank you so much for your time.

So what's up, Amy?

How are you?

Hey, great.

How are y'all?

Good.

So what can we help you?

I want to thank you so much for your time.

Yeah, obviously.

I mean, this is what we do here.

So it's amazing.

I did the 75 hard and did the live hard year.

It's just been an awesome change of mentality and everything.

So first and foremost, thank you.

That's amazing.

I, so real quick, because I want to be the best for your listeners as well as your time as well.

So I have a small business that I started under 15 employees, started four years ago.

My question is with two owners, I vaguely remember seeing or hearing something that you had mentioned, but I cannot for the life of me find it.

Is it, was it harder on you or I think you said it was harder on Chris the first year and it appeared to everybody else that he wasn't doing as much or anything, something similar to that.

And my question for that is because it's harder on my spouse to understand, well, why isn't so-and-so doing as much as you?

But I'm the face of it.

I do all of the.

like customer service asset

aspect of things.

I'm out and about doing all of the stuff.

It's

a very labor-intensive job.

I do all of the bookkeeping, the

QuickBooks, the taxes, the social media, all of it.

And that person, the other person runs the crew portion of it.

And so that's what's harder for my spouse to understand is it's going to be heavier on me right now, which I actually love.

I don't mind it in the least because I know it's just blood, sweat, and tears.

But it's, I wanted kind of another person's perspective of what it took to get to that point, if that makes sense.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay,

before I get into this, let's understand this.

There is no

perfect way

to balance out responsibilities in business or at home in the household.

Okay.

And just like an effective household, an effective business has to be run as a team.

And there should not be

these arguments about, well, I do more or I do this and this is harder or this and that and this.

Look, we just do what the fuck we need to do.

And that's what's required to have a good home.

And that's what's required to have a good business.

And in the early days of my business, Chris did everything.

Okay.

I worked with the customers, which we didn't have that many.

So

Chris did basically all the ordering, all the, all the back end, all the bookkeeping, all, all of those things.

And,

you know, I dealt with the customers, but we didn't have any.

So it was like, I wasn't doing anything.

And as the business grew, you know, my lift became a lot heavier and his lift was not as seen.

Right.

And yes.

So people would see, you know, a different dynamic.

They would, they would see like, well, Andy seems like he's doing all this shit, but, you know, they don't see the backside.

That is exactly how I feel.

Yeah, dude.

And that's just

people who don't understand how a business is supposed to operate really understanding.

Because the truth of the matter is, is an effective winning company, they don't do the tit for tat, you know, everything's equal.

They do the, hey, man, we're going to win.

Whatever needs to be done, we're going to do it.

Here's the shit that you need to do.

Here's the shit that I need to do they're both important let's go take care of them and that yeah looks different in each person's role you know today we have sal has his role i have my role chris has his role jason has his role we all do different things that

if we didn't do those things none of the machine would work So there has to be a trust and a understanding that we are all doing our jobs and nobody's job is is necessarily more important than anybody else's because without one of them, none of them matter.

So, exactly.

That's how I feel is without that person, I wouldn't be successful.

But it just appears that it's heavier on me right now, and I'm okay with that just because I'm the face of it.

Well, look, that's if you're the face of it, it's always going to appear that way.

Um, and here's the bad news: you're going to get the credit, but you're also going to get the bad shit too.

You know, like which I'm okay with, like, that's part of that, though.

yeah

yeah it's it and but dude that's just part of the deal man and people who aren't people who aren't in

every single winning business that i've ever been in contact with operates the way i just said every single

every single business that i see fail they do what they do what people do you did this you did that you spent four

four thousand dollars more on your suits than i did on my televisions like Like, they argue.

Yeah, bro.

It's stupid shit.

And

the reality of winning is that everybody has to handle their shit and none of it's more important.

And

it's all required.

And to me, in my companies,

I mean, the person who packs the box in the back of the warehouses is equally as important as the decisions that are made at the very top.

Because if they don't pack the boxes, our decisions don't fucking matter.

So

everybody's doing their role.

And if you do that in a humble way, without ego,

you end up with a functional culture and organization.

I don't think

that

I think it's very hard for people who are not

in an organization or on a team that operates that way to really understand that.

What is your...

That's how I feel with my husband.

Like he's super supportive, super loved, like, I mean, just all in, but he struggles with,

why is it all on you?

Why are you doing it?

And I'm like, you don't even see the day-to-day stuff.

So why are you nitpicking?

Like, it's not,

it's hard for him to wrap his head around, but I'm like, you're not in it every day.

I am.

It's different.

So here's the conversation.

Hey, look,

I know you're trying to.

I know you're looking out for me and I know that you care and you're making sure I don't get taken advantage of, but here's the reality.

it takes everybody here to make this work and

you may see it as I'm doing all the work but I promise you I'm not because this and this and this still has to happen and these things are happening and you know for you it you have to understand that's coming from a place of him trying to make sure that you're not getting screwed over which completely you know I think any good husband has

that

protective instinct inside of them to make sure that

their wife isn't being fucked with, you know, so I don't think it's a bad thing that he thinks that way.

I think it's just not in the least.

And that's why I don't want to sound like

he is fantastic.

It's just, it's been a hard balance because I'm like, there has to be other people that have experienced them being the face of it to start.

I mean, from the ground up, it wasn't me giving anything.

It was literally starting it from my self.

So it's heavier on me and I'm okay with that.

I love it.

Like I freaking love it every day.

Well, it doesn't sound like you have a real problem.

Okay.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like it.

I needed that validation that it's harder for,

like, it's equal, it's not the same for every person.

No, it's, and dude, here's the other thing.

You're going to go through phases.

Like, there'll be two or three year phases where it's harder on one of us than it is the rest, right?

Like,

that's a normal thing.

In the beginning, it was harder on Chris.

I would say now it's probably harder on me.

And I think Chris would fucking admit that, you know?

But

I don't fucking care.

Like, I look at it, how I look at it is like, bro, we started this together.

We're going to fucking finish this together.

And just because I'm doing more now doesn't mean that your skills aren't going to become more of it.

Like, right now, we're working on this new business concept, and there's a whole bunch of shit that he's doing that no one sees.

You know what I'm saying?

So, like,

there's, there's, it's, it's ebbs and flows, man.

And how I look at it,

how I look at my life in general is I've never been a tit-for-tat person.

Ever.

Even when, yeah, no.

And even when I go to dinner, dude, like if I go to dinner and, you know, people are like, oh, I got it this time.

Oh, I got it this time.

I got it.

Like, I don't like that shit.

Like, I just figure, like,

I figure, like, hey, man, it's going to all work out in the end.

Like, it's all 100%.

Yeah.

It's all going to work itself out.

And, you know, at the

phase I'm at now, I mean, even my successful friends, like, they don't,

they don't need anything in return for helping me and vice versa.

You know, everybody understands that, okay, you're helping me with this and down the road, I'm sure there'll be a time where, where I have to help you with that.

And those things all just even the fuck out over the long haul.

And I think that mentality is a shared mentality amongst highly successful people.

They don't keep a value or keep score on every little thing.

They just understand it's all going to even out.

It's all going to even out.

Awesome.

I totally agree with that.

And I appreciate that perspective that I'm not like alone thinking this is crazy.

I'm like, it doesn't matter.

No,

I think you have the mindset of someone who, I mean, every single successful person I know shares that mindset.

Right.

Without exception.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So I think you so much.

Yeah.

So much.

It's so relieving to feel like I'm not crazy thinking that it has to be this equal business crowd.

No, because the more time you try to spend making it equals, the less time you're effective in the game.

You know, it doesn't fuck, I don't fuck, but I take it out.

It just needs to get done.

Dude, I take the fucking trash out here if I see it.

If I see the fucking trash bin Phil, I fucking take it out.

Yes, I just did yesterday.

It's whatever needs to be done, dude.

It's whatever needs to be done.

Awesome.

Thank you so much for your time and would absolutely love you to run for president.

So thank you so much.

I've learned so much and it's just inspirational to listen to you every day and cheer you on and spread your

spread the

joy and the knowledge of being good and

domestic extremism.

That's right.

Exactly.

I am an all-in type of person, so I like that type of mentality.

All right.

Well, listen, you're doing good.

Just you're not crazy.

You see it the right way.

It's, it's reflective of my experience of successful people.

So,

you know, if there's another way to do it, I don't know it.

Thank you so much.

I super appreciate your time.

You're welcome.

I'll see you.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

I love that.

I've actually, I've heard you describe, like with you and Chris before, it's like yin and yang.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like it's yin and yang.

Yeah.

Like I'm doing the shit that he don't want to do.

He's doing the shit that I don't want to do.

I think that's.

I think that's a requirement, man.

You know, and

it's,

it's, yeah i can see why it's hard bro because a lot of people are those scorekeeper type people you know and yeah they are yeah bro and it's not a healthy way to have your home it's not a healthy way to have your friendship it's not a healthy way to run your business you should be around people and surrounded by people that

support you and

And if it's a fucking tit for tat and a scorekeeping thing, then how genuine is the relationship really?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah, not at all, man.

Not at all, bro.

I love it, bro.

That was some fire, man.

Guys, that was three.

Yep.

Listen, guys, let's get out here.

Let's make it a good week.

Remember, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion.

You winning creates a situation that they cannot control.

Okay.

You are supposed to become fit.

You are supposed to become wealthy.

You are supposed to be healthy.

You are supposed to be unified.

You are supposed to be a good person.

And every single thing they do is trying to break that down.

And when you recognize it, you start to understand the urgency of the matter.

It is a duty.

It is an obligation.

And you guys need to get out there this week and make that happen.

All right.

So don't be a hoe.

Now my druid box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck up stove.

Counted millions in a cold.

Bad bitch, booted swole.

Got her own bank rope.

Can't fold.

That's a no, headshot case close.