The Mazarin Stone - Part Three

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You're so back.

Yo, this is important, man.

My favorite Lululemon shorts, the ones you got me back in the day, I think they're pacebreakers, the ones with all the pockets.

Well, I just got back from vacation and I think I left them in my hotel room.

And dude, I need to replace these shorts.

I wear them like every day with that Lulu hoodie you got me.

Could you send me the link to where you got them?

Thanks, bro.

Talk soon.

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Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Previously on Sherlock and Co., our friend is a collector.

Ooh, Greg.

Indeed, collection is property of Lord Cantlemere Trading Limited.

God Almighty.

An article here regarding a failed insurance claim and a warning for the collectors everywhere.

What's the warning exactly?

The insurance claim from Lord Cantlemere Trading was rejected on the grounds of lack of proven value and unauthorized relocation of asset.

What asset is this?

The stone from our god-awful film.

He has the actual stone from the movie.

He had it.

Yes.

The GPS has taken me to the exact spot where Darek finds the stone in his pocket.

I'm stood in that precise spot

when.

Impossible.

Nope.

What?

What?

Tell me.

I reach into my pocket.

No.

And I pull out.

You're kidding me.

The Mazarin stone.

So

what happened to it?

It was in a glass display where two of the panels kind of converged.

On the Sunday, the last day of the con,

a classic smash and grab.

Fire alarm goes off.

Big crowd of people all heading out, all filing past it.

And

some kid in a hoodie smashes the thing.

Grabs the stone and legs it.

Oh man.

Footage.

Yeah.

Uh anyway, yeah, Sherlock deduced from what the guy was wearing that his height was being disguised, and yeah, it was all pretty cool.

Oh, nice one, Sherlock.

But now he's being all socially anxious.

Why are you being socially anxious?

He won't talk, he's just gonna keep staring in the mirror.

And so you should.

That's a great suit.

Yeah, great suit, mate.

Love it.

Mate.

Shut up.

Okay, please don't tell me that is the waxwork and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding.

Please don't tell me that.

That um

is

the waxwork

and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding

shit

This ends now

well it ends in uh

I don't know it ends at the end of this episode uh but well done to you for getting through yet another adventure.

We will debrief at the end and compare notes.

Yeah?

Yeah.

In the meantime, if you're worried about the content that may crop up for yourself or your child or family or whatever, just have a look in the episode description.

It's all in there.

And now it's time for you to head back to outer space.

Goodbye.

stone

boy.

Uh, nope, can't do that, big guy.

You can't.

You die

tonight.

And what, I hand it over and we have a few beers and party?

I don't think so.

I'm dead either way.

We both know that.

Porter, before you run risk analysis, I swear to God.

The universe learns from control

and learns from a master.

You are not a master.

You

are boring.

The universe?

It don't yearn for anything, buddy.

You can't hear it, someone.

The screams of the dark.

The void bends for my grip on its sleeve.

And now,

I have you.

And you have the stone.

And you will hand it over.

We'll face an eternity burning in the darkness,

screaming for death.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, that's you don't have anything better than that?

Just okay?

He maybe he wanted to get to the wedding early.

You know, he likes to be prepared to visualize the day and the conversations and such.

So he dressed the waxwork in his suit and left in what?

His pants?

That's what you're saying?

Well, he's still not answering his phone.

God's sake, he's done the switcheroo.

The oldest trick in the book, John.

Think, man.

Wiggins, have you asked him?

No, hasn't seen him.

Uh, neighbours, the Merilows?

Not seen him.

Oh, God, Stamo's calling me again.

We've...

Right, we've literally got one train we can get that will get us there on time.

Oh, my God, Sherlock!

Why would he do this to us?

You know what?

Hey, hey, hey, it's okay.

This is drastic, and it calls for drastic measures.

What are you going to do?

I have here on my phone

a very important phone number.

Right?

It's a person that specifically said to me, if anything happens to Sherlock, to call them.

Oh.

My question to you is: do I make this call?

Why would you not?

Well, because from what I gather, he left willingly.

It's not like he got kidnapped.

He's gone to solve this stupid Mazarin Stone idea because no one listens to me.

How long have you been waiting to say that?

Oh, since the second I realized it was not him and was in fact a giant waxwork who was also, guess what, not listening to me.

Just make the call.

Even though it's just for a friend's wedding?

John, make the call.

Okay, okay, fine.

we go

the strade speaking hey gwen it's raining gwen how are you doing sorry who is this oh this is john gonna need more than that haha right yeah common name uh dr john watson ah Sherlock's assistant.

Uh, not quite, but fine.

Um, yeah, so you wouldn't happen to have seen him anywhere, would you, around these here parts?

Have I seen Sherlock?

Yeah.

No.

Have you lost him?

I mean, lost is such a loaded term, isn't it?

I mean, I suppose I would put to you that we haven't necessarily

lost him, but nor have we

found him.

Hello?

Call me back if you don't find him within another 12 hours.

We'll do.

Yeah, lovely to catch up.

She's gone.

She's...

Yep.

We gotta get the train.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Let me grab Little Mike.

Wait, why?

Why?

Why?

You've got Big Mike.

Yeah, Big Mike to record us, but I thought it would be cool to get the guests to record little audio tributes to Stamo and Nardi, and then I can cut it together.

Aw, that is so sweet.

What?

Uh,

it's not here.

The spare mic?

Little Mike is not here.

Where is it?

Um,

welcome to Euston Station, listeners.

As you're all probably aware, Euston was the first intercity railway terminal in London, planned by Robert Stevenson, the great locomotive designer.

But as you are also aware, it connects London to the Midlands, the North, Scotland, and of course, Hollyhead in Wales, where my lunchtime appointment will be coming from.

I have had around 27 minutes worth of sleep and have spent most of the night, not all of it, some in a rather nice, melancholic reflection.

But most of it has been remote solving as best I could this curious little Mazarin stone incident.

And what we have, although not hugely exciting, is a somewhat typical case of cognitive dissonance on the part of lovely Greg Cantlemere.

It would appear from my research that a great, wily, and cunning burglar would have many other ways to access the stone, rather than pulling the very common and predictable trick of triggering the fire alarm and smashing open the display case while hooded.

So why did the man with the clumsy smash and grab have the wit and wherewithal to disguise his gait, his posture, his frame and build, and even height?

The answer I came to late last night

is somewhat pathetic.

The truth is, our thief didn't do that for the act of stealing the stone from the convention.

He does and has always done that.

Because he's a man who is insecure about his height, nothing more.

His posture is immaculate and his acrobatics fairly nifty, to use a John Watson word, because he spends his entire life trying to claw back his financial losses by running his own yoga retreat.

Harley!

Harley Silvius over here.

Here he comes.

And

action.

Hey Kevin.

Oh my god.

Oh my literal god.

I cannot like I can't even you're literally stood here in front of me.

This is uh eat my laser loser.

Oh my god that you look amazing.

Literally amazing.

Hey, this is my girlfriend Gracie.

Gracie, hi.

Hi, did you do the hotel?

Oh my god, completely.

So, as promised, it's a night in Claridge's.

Clared, that's the best, baby.

That's the best.

Claridge's, right?

Oh, the absolute best.

And it's an honor.

Such an honor to put you up there.

And what is this?

So what are we doing today?

Is this a party?

It's a party, yes, absolutely.

At my flat in Baker Street.

Cool.

Cool.

You want to come, baby?

You're going to be quick.

It's just a mean greed, right?

I'll do the usual shit and get out of there, right?

That's cool.

Sorry, I don't mean I don't want to downplay it, but that's the case, right?

No, no, no, I understand totally and literally understand.

Repeat after me:

I Mark Leighton Stamford.

Leighton.

I Mark Layton Stamford.

Take the Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

Take the Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

To be my lawful wedded wife.

To be my lawful wedded wife.

And Nadia,

I Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

I, Nadia Hope Cantlemere, take Mark Layton Stanford.

Take Mark Layton Stanford

to be my lawful wedded husband.

To be my lawful wedded husband.

Sorry, Mariana.

Do you vow

stand by one another in all the ups and downs of life?

I do.

Do you vow to always be faithful, to safeguard and to nurture one another and grow together with your family and with your friends?

I do.

Then I am thrilled and honoured and fucking relieved that I nailed back Lucas Swatts.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.

and Mrs.

Stamford, give each other a big kiss.

Go on, you are away.

Birds and bees, flowers and trees, like everything that belongs together, we're meant to be.

Oh, who would have believed?

Like a river flow, the canyon slows.

We're dancing through songs written

by the lovers, looking me.

Oh, would it be?

Just in here,

ah, it would seem the

my housemates have left.

So, no party.

Wait, wait.

We have to do full payout, though, right?

Because we came all this way.

That's the deal, Kev, man.

No, no, no, yes, of course, of course, absolutely.

If you just come through...

Ignore him.

That's my dog.

Yay, chubby guy.

No, don't stroke him.

Stop.

Diseases.

Alright, alright.

Jeez.

Yo, hey, what's the...

Who's this guy?

Not the dog, the statue.

That's, um...

That's me.

He's...

Holy crap.

He's got, like, the same clothes on and everything.

Yes, I needed him to be well-dressed for the party, of course.

That is insane.

You

but you know what?

Usually, you guys, the fans, you do all that cosplay shit.

Of course, yes, well, some may choose to still.

Of course, of course, sure, whatever.

So, um, it would seem they have departed.

Well, now, if you take a seat, and I will make us cups of tea.

Just leave my things here.

I think when check-in opens, I'm just gonna go and hang out at the hotel.

Yeah, sure, baby, whatever.

And seriously, like, how many fans can they actually fit in here?

I reckon you talk to them once.

Then that's it, right?

Right, yeah, sure.

Don't overstay.

Don't keep talking to the same ones.

They get their time.

Just...

Hey, hey, I know.

I know, okay, I know.

Oh, I really can't wait to see my friends react to Derek Sunborn being at our party.

It's gonna be pretty sick, man.

Oh, absolutely.

Looking forward to it, baby.

Hey, Gracie, look.

What the fuck are you doing?

What?

What are you doing with that?

What?

It's the stones.

They're fans.

They're gonna fucking freak out.

Are you serious right now?

What?

What is wrong with you?

Stop saying what?

That is our next house in life.

Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop it, stop.

Oh, totally.

This is how you got so broke.

Stop, stop.

Stupid shit.

Stop it.

You listen to me.

I do these gigs right.

I get the right buzz.

People start talking about how great it was.

I get these.

I get five or ten of these fucking things a week, so don't talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing, alright?

Gracie, alright?

Here we go.

Lovely cup of tea.

Whoa, hey, it's a cuppa.

Sure, let's have a cup of tea, right?

Right, some long-neglected shout-outs here whilst I take a breather from the wedding jubilation.

Amelie, you turned 18 on the 12th of July.

Big belated happy birthday from us, but the party is over, mate.

It's time to tidy your room.

Because you've got to shout out now.

The deal's a deal.

Alden in California, you had a birthday in July.

Happy birthday to you.

Again, sorry it's late.

And sorry, I'm...

Get a few drinks in at a wedding, but you've got to make do, haven't you?

Sapphire has been in touch.

Drumroll, please.

Happy birthday.

Again, late, sorry, to Shane, who turned 15.

Woo!

Shanae!

Oh, I'm not late to this one.

Happy 14th birthday to Sophie.

Yes, Sophie.

And Bex and Ash wish a happy birthday to Becky.

Bailey Michael Edward, you're 29.

Happy birthday to you down in Brisbane, Australia.

Happy birthday, Banjamus in Denmark from Fiona.

Shout out to Shiny.

Shout out to Helia in Iran with Nabat the Cockatiel.

Happy birthday, Justine Earle, and a big final shout-out to Michaela from Connecticut.

Sorry, I haven't been able to squeeze more in, but

I should really get

this suit cleaned

There's a little picture of Mary in my pocket

I wore this at early service I mean just the UK part of it that her nurse friend

did this this is

that picture

that I found all that time ago in Tonga's room and I meant to

send it with her remains and she went

well when

the plane took her home

but obviously chose not to

It's a wedding John not a funeral happy thoughts happy thoughts Sherlock Sherlock, Mariana, Archie, Swindon not being completely shit.

Let me just sip a little beer and check in on Shelve.

Hello, mate.

Another voice note.

I think you leave now and you'll make the reception.

It's not like you get invited to that many weddings, so

yeah, put the effort in.

Alright.

Sake.

Food wasn't that bad, was it?

Hey, it's the bride.

The half-drunk bride.

Not quite.

I mean,

yeah, maybe.

What are you doing out here?

It's your big day.

Get back in the big giant tent thing.

I wanted to see if you're okay.

Really?

No.

I needed a wee.

Oh.

What's up?

Nothing.

No.

I'm at the best wedding ever.

Nothing's up.

Greg's nervous.

Oh, mate.

Yeah, but he'll be fine.

Of course.

Of course.

He will nail it.

It'll probably help to have your friendly face in there.

He thinks you're great.

Does he?

Does he?

Oh, that's.

That's nice.

You are great, John.

So, whatever it is, honestly, not yet.

She's

kind of here with you.

In a way, too.

See?

The little sparkle.

Hmm.

Of course.

The ring.

Your little suracula.

Yeah.

Hey there, Mary Morstan.

Thanks for joining us.

Even if it is just

a little sparkle of the sunset on a drunk woman's finger.

Half drunk, thank you.

Half drunk, yeah, sorry.

Sorry, Lordio.

Don't do that.

Don't say sorry.

A hug will do.

Sure.

This is stupid, because I actually couldn't be happier for either of you.

It's not stupid.

You've had the hardest life.

You do the toughest job.

It's a bloody wedding, for God's sake.

Of course, it's where the good stuff comes out.

The good stuff?

Yeah, the tears and the emotions.

Just you wait until my sister gets up there.

It's okay.

John podcast, Watson.

Hi.

Hi.

Is he okay?

Half okay.

Thank you.

I'll see you in there.

You look amazing.

Thanks.

So do you.

Speak in a bit.

Please don't make me open tissue packet number three.

Yeah.

You're running low on ammo, buddy.

Any word?

You know he's safe.

You know he's doing what he loves.

Yeah, but he'd love it here, too, you know.

You can't grieve a life you almost had.

And worry about him, then drink ten beers and expect to be okay.

First of all,

I've had nine beers.

Second of all, John, I get it.

Nobody gets it more than me.

You look at Stamford,

you were at the start line together, right?

Yep.

And now he...

well, he drives that car.

Yep.

He has that house.

He's married now.

He's handsome.

Is he?

Oh, yeah.

Also, he basically just deals with boobs now.

He literally sits in an an air-conditioned office in Harley Street, talks about boobs all day, then he goes home.

And he is paid like 300 grand a year to do it.

It's like,

did he make a wish?

You know, when I met him when we were 18, I mean, Jesus, if he did, it definitely came true.

Me, on the other hand, basically failed uni, let's be honest.

Dumped, enlisted, blown up, became a podcaster.

I mean, that's basically a punishment in itself.

Yep.

Yeah, try telling people you podcast for a living.

And then

you know.

Mary.

Mary.

The person I would have.

Yeah, done this whole shindig with.

Of course.

But yoink.

Nope, not for John.

You have an amazing life.

I know.

And you deserve it.

Because you are an amazing person.

Look, I do the same thing you do, okay?

It's why I deleted Facebook.

It's why I have a limiter on Instagram.

Because you look at weird stuff, Bull.

No, it's because I look at who I saw way back at the start line and where they are now, and I am telling you,

it's dumb.

I do it, but it's dumb.

It is.

Dumb.

It is.

Thanks, Mariana Ametchazora.

You're welcome, John Watson.

Ah, speeches.

Oh my god, Greg.

Right, he is gonna need big enthusiasm here.

I'm talking American talk show levels of over-the-top laughter and cheering, so.

Okay, on it.

Let's go.

Go, go.

I should be able to grab beer number 10 just in time.

Oh, great.

Looking forward to that.

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Olivia loves a challenge.

It's why she lifts heavy weights

and likes complicated recipes.

But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way with Expedia.

She bundled her flight with a hotel to save more.

Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You were made to take the easy route.

We were made to easily package your trip.

Expedia, made to travel.

Flight-inclusive packages are at all protected.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen.

Only on Netflix, September 10th.

Uh,

are they gonna be much longer?

They are taking a rather long time, aren't they, Gracie?

Yeah, like, what is going on here exactly?

Nothing.

I see that, Kevin.

I see a whole lot of nothing, buddy.

Come on.

I think.

Are you bullshitting us?

Is it just you?

Is it literally just you and your dog, and you brought us over here to keep you company?

Be honest.

Be honest.

Be honest.

Well, let's take it in turns.

I couldn't possibly go before one of my guests.

I think Harley Silvius here could go first.

Oh, what?

Honesty.

Dude, listen to me.

Right?

I spent my whole life separating ego from the true self through meditation and yoga, right?

How tall are you?

What?

How tall?

You can see how tall.

I noticed you didn't offer to remove your shoes in my home.

A little impolite, but I'll forgive it.

Shut up.

Uh, you booked him for a job.

You're lucky he's here.

Mr.

Silvius, I represent a client of mine who had his prized possession stolen from him while kindly sharing it with fans of your famous film.

I examined the footage of the Mazarin stone being taken, and I noticed a similarity between the way both you and the thief dress.

This is some real dumb shit.

In isolation, perhaps it is.

But I suppose when you map it onto your financial woes, your presence at the convention, the fact the fire alarm was triggered at 1.32,

just about the only time you were between panels.

The fact that your lanyard from the event went up for sale on eBay shortly after, listed by a fan after they found it in the disabled access bathroom, right near the breached fire alarm, from what the floor plan tells me.

These and many other things tell me a great deal and thus invalidates the dumb shit analysis directed at just one singular point in a whole litany of clues that perfectly align.

But the worst thing

the worst

thing is the fact that you knew you could get away with it.

You knew that Greg Hero worshipped you.

That he believed the myth more than the man.

He only saw honor and decency.

He saw Darrick Sunborn.

That intelligent, brilliant young man that solved a complicated series of puzzles and logical games to receive the stone in the first place couldn't see past the love and admiration he had for you.

And what did you do?

Listen to me right now, stop!

Didn't love him back.

You didn't appreciate him, you didn't respect.

I mean, goodness, you could have just even done what most celebrities do and just bask in his affections, but you didn't.

You did the worst thing, you exploited it.

You didn't see his love for you as a strength, you saw it as a weakness, and you exploited it.

The only thing that has come between your true self and your ego, Mr.

Silvius, is your greed.

But you d you don't you don't everybody thinks that they but they don't that things have not

they have not been easy for me, okay?

Oh, so take it out on others, why don't you?

Come on, let's go.

Gracie, there's no night at Claridge's for goodness sake.

Will you just finish your bloody tea?

It's the only freebie you're getting.

Uh, what is your problem?

I'm very tired, and I would like this resolved, so I I can go and be with my friends.

Then we'll go.

I am a leading consulting detective.

I work extremely closely with law enforcement.

Do you honestly believe that I would allow that to happen?

You complete idiots.

Do you think you can take us?

Both of us.

You could try, mate.

Yes, I can, but I wasn't planning on doing that.

There is a patrol car outside.

Patrol car?

How do you know?

I know because she's most likely looking for me.

She?

We could probably take a police officer, too.

You can't take this one.

Um, don't be so sure.

Let's think, right?

Would they even know what to arrest us for?

She won't even know what she's doing in this situation.

The patrol car contains a woman who was knighted by the king exactly for the reason of knowing what she was doing.

Okay, okay, right.

Here's here.

Here's what we're gonna do:

we're gonna stay in touch, right?

We'll stay in touch with you, Kev.

We're gonna open a dialogue between us and Greg, right?

No, Harley.

I'm going to go in my bedroom.

You're going to discuss who stays here as collateral while the other retrieves the stone and brings it back.

And I will miss my friend's wedding and stay here in this flat with the two most dull, borish, self-involved people on the planet.

So thank you very much.

Let me know which one of you it's going to be and I will mentally prepare.

And please make up your mind swiftly.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

That's right, okay.

What the fuck are we gonna do?

Is the patrol car there?

Like, actually there?

Um, um, I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't know.

What?

You can't see it.

I can't, but that doesn't mean he's lying.

I'm calling it.

He's lying.

Gracie, please.

Harley, we can't fucking hand him over the stone, and we can't do what he wants us to do, because you are a dumb asshole that brought the stone with you in the first place.

Your voice down.

Oh, what?

So you can't hear me over that racket.

He doesn't know we have the stone, right?

He doesn't know we have it here.

But he wants to hold one of us here.

So

what if I go and I come back with backup?

That's good.

No, that's good.

Right, you go get your brother, right?

Get your brother and his buddies.

Yeah, yeah.

Bring them back here.

It'll be late.

You can drive me.

Sure, and then we beat the crap out of this guy.

It's gonna.

What?

Was that you?

Was what me?

What?

Is it

the statue?

Is it like an animatronic?

What?

The statue, greasy?

No, he said it was a waxwork.

Yeah, well, I just heard it move, okay?

I heard it move.

Okay, then maybe it's an animatronic, Holly.

What do you want, mate?

It's just...

It's...

It's so real.

Oh, do you want to call him back out from the bedroom, please?

Jesus Christ.

Detail of the light.

It actually feels like skin.

Holly!

What?

Call him back out here.

Tell him the plan.

Okay, the plan.

You sure?

You want to do this, right?

Of course.

We'll smash his head in like it's made out of wax, won't we?

Hey, buddy!

Hey, Kev, buddy, you in there?

Hello, everyone.

Hey!

Come on, Kevs!

Um,

I never thought I'd be doing one of these, but um,

yeah,

when I first met Mark...

Oh, oh, by the way,

this isn't gonna be funny.

This one's gonna be funny.

Oh, oh, all right.

Maybe it is.

I didn't see myself doing something like this.

And then I met Mark.

And

the way we got on,

the way he just embraced me for who I was,

I think my world just opened up.

They say,

what do they say?

They say you don't find friends later on in life,

especially men.

But I did.

I found one.

And now that friend has become family.

And he's shown me all these other friends.

It's like

it.

There's this scene in Mazarin Stung.

Oh, God, here we go.

Right, we run 30 seconds.

Uncle Jim, you had 35, didn't you?

Hey, I've got the mic.

Wait your turn.

You just have to say your wife looks pretty and you're done.

That is true.

I've got to do all the hard work.

Anyway,

bloody heckless.

There's this scene where Derek

has lost everything.

Or at least he feels like he's lost everything.

Hey, Cav, can you open the door?

Doing what you asked, mate.

Hello, open up.

I'm gonna open this shit.

I'm gonna open it.

I'm opening this door.

I'm gonna open it.

I'm opening the door.

What the?

What's going on?

And the truth is,

the truly remarkable moments

and the truly remarkable people,

they fall into your

life

into your lap

into your pocket

like

this little guy

oh yeah it's weird little stone yeah hello you two oh sherlock mate you made it

what's going on he's gone he's not in here well then let's go even in holy shit

oh good God!

Holy shit!

That's crazy, crazy, dreaming!

And when they arrive in your life,

when they come your way,

the one thing you have to do

is hold on to them.

Oldest trick in the book.

Can I give you a lift?

Yes, please, Gwen.

Hold on to them

and never,

never

let them go.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the bride and groom.

All right,

people have asked me to get up and do a number, so here we go.

This one is for my wonderful wife.

Woo-hoo!

I fell in love with you and you with me.

Now I'm as happy as a guy could be.

Who, baby, you're my lady?

Where is she?

You and me against the world, just you and I.

You bring a teardrop to my eye.

I love you, pretty baby.

Where is she?

Come on, come on, come on, do the course for me, nuts.

Come on.

Baby is in love.

Come on.

Baby is in love.

Baby is in love.

Baby is in love.

Mrs.

Nadia Stafford.

Thank you, thank you.

No, no more, no more.

She's false for

you back to this wonderful band.

Take it away, guys.

That's my favorite constellation.

I'm not familiar with it.

Exactly.

I made it up.

And I think that's why I like it.

Sherlock?

Yes, Watson.

Why do I have a message from Mark Merillow saying he saw you jump out the window?

Ah, yes, that's not quite what happened.

Well,

what happened?

I knew my turbulent guest would break out into argument, so I climbed out my bedroom window, into the lounge window, and threw waxwork Sherlock out onto the pavement.

Oh, wow.

And wait, you took his place.

Exactly that.

Well, you just stood there.

Indeed, and witnessed the whole conversation that they had the stone on them.

And when he got close enough to prod my cheeks and fiddle with my eyelashes.

Oh, at least someone's seen some action today.

I took it from his pocket.

The old switcheroo.

Oldest trick in the book.

Indeed.

I was never really a big space guy, but

it is quite something, isn't it?

The stars?

Ugh, hell yes.

Welcome to my world.

Or

universe.

Which one are you?

Which star?

Yeah.

Oh, uh,

I am

that one.

What one?

Okay, so you see those

two really close together?

Uh uh-huh.

I'm the one looking at them right there.

Going,

look at these two idiots.

Hey, is that one Archie?

Well, they are balls of gas, so in a way, they're all Archie.

Oh, Archie, you are getting roasted, mate.

You're not even here to defend yourself.

Oh, Archie.

I cannot believe you threw your own waxwork onto the pavement.

Hey, look, you've got to have a fun one every now and again, haven't you?

Can't be all murder and coercion every week.

We'd all be miserable.

So, thank you for listening to the Adventure of the Mazarin Stone.

And hey, I'm a writer now.

Forgot to say, no big deal.

If you head on over to the Patreon, you'll be able to read my nightcaps, little shortcases that didn't make their way into audio form.

I have typed them up in story form.

So you go enjoy that.

I'll go have a sandwich.

And I'll see you next time for another adventure.

Bye!

Darrow,

Sunborn.

Yo, hey, what's up?

You survived.

Huh?

You must be the universe.

That would be accurate.

You sound hot.

Where is the stone?

You know, I always wanted to meet a Miss Universe.

Where

is

the stone?

The stone, huh?

You see, I figured something out.

That creepy wizard guy down on Metaphor, he was a drojian all along, right?

I believe it to be so.

So he couldn't have put the stone in my pocket?

He could not.

Which means it came from my dad.

Not possible.

Love is impossible.

That's what I'm telling you.

Love is impossible.

The way it makes you feel, the things it makes you do the way it shapes even you miss universe You can't measure it.

You can't see it It's a relative force in the cosmos up there with space time and gravity.

You wanted a fourth dimension?

You got it

and that stone the mazarin stone

It's love

But the stone must be preserved sunborn always

Right in here.

Where are you going?

Home.

This universe.

Just a confuser.

I'm going home.

I was the cause.

Your extra is all and it's never a daily.

You put your anchor.

Right up in my face.

It's never a daughter that couldn't explain things.

I was the cause.

I was the cause.

You're getting me sober.

You called me a loser.

I saw you attendance, said I wasn't abuser.

You're selling my mom lies just to confuse her.

I was the cross, I was the cross.

Just to lay up and running.

I'm laying up in the money.

I'm in the cross, I was the cross.

Just to let them money.

Lay up in the money.

I'm the cost, I was the cost.