The Mazarin Stone - Part Three

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Speaker 6 Come join the Patreon. It's a huge community now with loads of extra cool stuff.
Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 8 Previously on Sherlock and Co., our friend is a collector.

Speaker 8 Greg.

Speaker 9 Indeed, collection is property of Lord Cantlemere Trading Limited.

Speaker 8 God Almighty.

Speaker 9 An article here regarding a failed insurance claim and a warning for the collectors everywhere.

Speaker 8 What's the warning exactly?

Speaker 9 The insurance claim from Lord Cantlemere Trading was rejected on the grounds of lack of proven value and unauthorized relocation of asset.

Speaker 6 What asset is this?

Speaker 8 The stone from our god-awful film.

Speaker 8 He has the actual stone from the movie.

Speaker 10 He had it.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 11 The GPS has taken me to the exact spot where Derek finds the stone in his his pocket.

Speaker 11 I'm stood in that precise spot

Speaker 8 when...

Speaker 8 Impossible. Nope.
What? What? Tell me!

Speaker 11 I reach into my pocket.

Speaker 8 No. And I pull out...

Speaker 10 You're kidding me!

Speaker 11 The Mazarin stone.

Speaker 8 So...

Speaker 8 What happened to it?

Speaker 11 It was in a glass display. Where two of the panels kind of converged

Speaker 11 on the Sunday, the last day of the con,

Speaker 11 a classic smash and grab. Fire alarm goes off, big crowd of people all heading out, all filing past it, and

Speaker 11 some kid in a hoodie smashes the thing, grabs the stone, and legs it.

Speaker 8 Oh, man.

Speaker 9 Footage.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Uh, anyway, yeah, Sherlock deduced from what the guy was wearing that his height was being disguised, and yeah, it was all pretty cool.

Speaker 6 Oh, nice one, Sherlock.

Speaker 8 But now he's being all socially anxious.

Speaker 6 Why are you being socially anxious?

Speaker 8 He won't talk, he's just gonna keep staring in the mirror.

Speaker 4 And so you should.

Speaker 6 That's a great suit.

Speaker 8 Yeah, great suit, mate. Love it.

Speaker 8 Mate.

Speaker 8 Shut up.

Speaker 6 Okay, please don't tell me that is the waxwork and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding. Please don't tell me that.

Speaker 8 That um

Speaker 8 is

Speaker 8 the waxwork

Speaker 8 and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding

Speaker 14 Shit.

Speaker 8 This ends now.

Speaker 8 Well, it ends in.

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 8 It ends at the end of this episode.

Speaker 8 But well done to you for getting through yet another adventure. We will debrief at the end and compare notes.
Yeah?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 In the meantime, if you're worried about the content that may crop up for yourself or your child or family or whatever, just have a look in the episode description. It's all in there.

Speaker 8 And now it's time for you to head back to outer space. Goodbye.

Speaker 15 Uh, nope, can't do that, big guy.

Speaker 8 And what, I hand it over and we have a few beards and party? I don't think so. I'm dead either way.
We both know that.

Speaker 3 Porter, before you run risk analysis, I swear to God.

Speaker 8 The universe yearns for control.

Speaker 14 It learns for a master.

Speaker 14 You are not a master.

Speaker 14 You

Speaker 14 are a boy.

Speaker 15 The universe, it don't yearn for anything, buddy.

Speaker 15 You can't hear it, someone. The screens, the dark.

Speaker 8 The void void bends for my grip on its loose.

Speaker 14 And now

Speaker 14 I have you.

Speaker 14 And you have the stone.

Speaker 14 And you will hand it over.

Speaker 8 Or face an eternity burning in the darkness.

Speaker 8 Screaming for death.

Speaker 8 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 6 Okay, that's you don't have anything better than that?

Speaker 8 Just okay? He maybe he wanted to get to the wedding early. You You know, he likes to be prepared to visualize the day and the conversations and such.

Speaker 6 So he dressed the waxwork in his suit and left in what? His pants?

Speaker 8 That's what you're saying? Oh, and he's still not answering his phone. God's sake, he's done the switcheroo.
The oldest trick in the book, John. Think, man.

Speaker 8 Wiggins, have you asked him?

Speaker 6 No, hasn't seen him.

Speaker 8 Uh, neighbours, the Merrillows?

Speaker 6 Not seen him.

Speaker 8 Oh, God, Stamo's calling me again. We've right, we've literally got one train we can get that will get us there on time.

Speaker 7 Oh my god, Sherlock!

Speaker 3 Why would he do this to us?

Speaker 8 You know what? Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. This is drastic, and it calls for drastic measures.

Speaker 6 What are you gonna do?

Speaker 8 I have here on my phone

Speaker 8 a very important phone number.

Speaker 10 Right?

Speaker 8 It's a person that specifically said to me, if anything happens to Sherlock, to call them. Oh.
My question to you is, do I make this call?

Speaker 6 Why would you not?

Speaker 8 Well, because from what I gather, he left willingly.

Speaker 8 It's not like he got kidnapped. He's gone to solve this stupid Mazarin stone idea because no one listens to me.

Speaker 6 How long have you been waiting to say that?

Speaker 8 Oh, since the second I realised it was not him and was in fact a giant waxwork who was also, guess what, not listening to me.

Speaker 6 Just make the call.

Speaker 8 Even though it's just for a friend's wedding?

Speaker 6 John, make the call.

Speaker 8 Okay, okay, fine. Here we go.

Speaker 8 The Strad speaking. Hey, Gwen, it's raining, Gwen.

Speaker 10 How are you doing?

Speaker 16 Sorry, who is this?

Speaker 17 Oh, this is John.

Speaker 16 Gonna need more than that.

Speaker 8 Haha, right. Yeah, common name.
Dr. John Watson.

Speaker 16 Ah, Sherlock's assistant.

Speaker 8 Not quite, but fine.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so you wouldn't happen to have seen him anywhere, would you, around these here parts?

Speaker 16 Have I seen Sherlock?

Speaker 8 Yeah. No.

Speaker 8 Ah.

Speaker 16 Have you lost him?

Speaker 8 I mean, lost is such a loaded term, isn't it?

Speaker 9 Ernie, I suppose I would put to you that we haven't necessarily

Speaker 8 lost him, but nor have we

Speaker 8 found him.

Speaker 8 Hello?

Speaker 16 Call me back if you don't find him within another 12 hours.

Speaker 8 We'll do. Yeah, lovely to catch up.
She's gone. She's...

Speaker 13 Yep. We've got to get the train.

Speaker 9 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 8 Let me grab little Mike.

Speaker 6 Wait, why? Why? Why? You've got Big Mike.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Big Mike to record us, but I thought it would be cool to get the guests to record little audio tributes to Stamo and Nardia, and then I can cut it together. Aw, that is so sweet.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 8 Uh,

Speaker 8 it's not here. The spare mic? Little Mike is not here.

Speaker 6 Where is it?

Speaker 8 Um.

Speaker 9 Welcome to Euston Station, listeners. As you're all probably aware, Euston was the first intercity railway terminal in London, planned by Robert Stevenson, the great locomotive designer.

Speaker 9 But as you are also aware, it connects London to the Midlands, the North, Scotland, and, of course, Hollyhead in Wales, where my lunchtime appointment will be coming from.

Speaker 9 I have had around 27 minutes worth of sleep, and have spent most of the night, not all of it, some, in a rather nice melancholic reflection.

Speaker 9 But most of it has been remote solving, as best I could, this curious little Mazarin stone incident.

Speaker 9 And what we have, although not hugely exciting, is a somewhat typical case of cognitive dissonance on the part of lovely Greg Cantlemere.

Speaker 9 It would appear, from my research that a great, wily, and cunning burglar would have many other ways to access the stone, rather than pulling the very common and predictable trick of triggering the fire alarm and smashing open the display case while hooded.

Speaker 9 So why did the man with the clumsy smash and grab have the wit and wherewithal to disguise his gait, his posture, his frame and build and even height? The answer I came to late last night

Speaker 9 is somewhat pathetic.

Speaker 9 The truth is, our thief didn't do that for the act of stealing the stone from the convention. He does and has always done that.

Speaker 9 Because he's a man who is insecure about his height.

Speaker 8 Nothing more.

Speaker 9 His posture is immaculate, and his acrobatics fairly nifty. To use a John Watson word.

Speaker 9 Because he spends his entire life trying to claw back his financial losses by running his own yoga retreat.

Speaker 18 Harley! Harley Silvius over here!

Speaker 9 Here he comes. And

Speaker 9 action.

Speaker 12 Hey, Kevin.

Speaker 8 Oh, my God. Oh, my literal god.
I cannot, like, I can't even. You're literally stood here in front of me.
This is. Eat my laser, loser.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 That, you look amazing. Literally amazing.

Speaker 15 Hey, this is my girlfriend, Gracie.

Speaker 19 Gracie, hi.

Speaker 7 Hi, did you do the hotel?

Speaker 8 Oh, my God, completely.

Speaker 9 So, as promised, it's a night in Claridge's.

Speaker 15 Claridge, that's the best, baby. That's the best.
Claridge's, right? Oh, the absolute best.

Speaker 9 And it's an honor, such an honor to put you up there.

Speaker 3 And what is is this?

Speaker 15 So, what are we doing today? Is this a party?

Speaker 9 It's a party, yes, absolutely, at my flat in Baker Street. Cool, cool.

Speaker 8 You want to come, baby?

Speaker 7 You're gonna be quick.

Speaker 15 It's just a mean greed, right? I'll do the usual shit and get out of there, right? That's cool. Sorry, I don't mean I don't want to downplay it, but that's the case, right?

Speaker 9 No, no, no, no, I understand totally and literally understand.

Speaker 20 Repeat after me:

Speaker 20 I

Speaker 20 Mark Layton Stamford.

Speaker 8 Layton, I Mark Layton, Stamford.

Speaker 20 Take thee Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

Speaker 8 Take thee Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

Speaker 20 To be my lawful wedded wife.

Speaker 9 To be my lawful wedded wife.

Speaker 20 And Nadia

Speaker 20 I Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

Speaker 17 I Nadia Hope Cantlemere.

Speaker 20 Take Mark Layton Stamford.

Speaker 4 Take Mark Leighton Stanford.

Speaker 20 To be my lawful wedded husband.

Speaker 17 To be my lawful wedded husband.

Speaker 8 Sorry, Mariana. Do you vow

Speaker 20 to stand by one another in all the ups and downs of life?

Speaker 21 I do.

Speaker 20 Do you vow to always be faithful, to safeguard and to nurture one another and grow together with your family and with your friends.

Speaker 8 I do.

Speaker 22 Then I am thrilled and honoured and fucking relieved that I nailed that Lucas Squat,

Speaker 8 ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 23 Mr.

Speaker 18 and Mrs. Stamford, give each other a big kiss.

Speaker 8 Go on, you are

Speaker 14 a

Speaker 14 Birds and bees, flowers and trees, like everything that belongs together, we're meant to be.

Speaker 14 Oh, who'da believe

Speaker 14 like a river flow, the canyon slow? We dance through songs written

Speaker 14 by lovers.

Speaker 14 Oh, who'd have believed?

Speaker 8 Just in here.

Speaker 8 Ah, it

Speaker 10 would seem the

Speaker 9 my housemates have left.

Speaker 12 So, no party.

Speaker 15 Wait, wait, we have to do full payout, though, right? Because we came all this way. That's the deal, Kev, man.

Speaker 9 No, no, no, yes, of course, of course, absolutely.

Speaker 10 If you just come through...

Speaker 8 Ignore him. That's my dog.

Speaker 15 Yay, chubby guy.

Speaker 7 No, don't stroke him. Stop.

Speaker 8 Diseases. Alright, alright.

Speaker 14 Jeez.

Speaker 15 Yo, hey, what's the... Who's this guy? Not the dog, the statue.

Speaker 9 That's, um, that's me.

Speaker 8 He's...

Speaker 15 Holy crap. He's got, like, the same clothes on and everything.

Speaker 9 Yes, I needed him to be well-dressed for the party, of course.

Speaker 15 That is insane. You

Speaker 15 but you know what? Usually you guys are the fans you do all that that cosplay shit.

Speaker 9 Of course, yes, well, some may choose to still.

Speaker 15 Of course, of course sure whatever

Speaker 9 so um it would seem they have departed well now if you take a seat and i will make us cups of tea

Speaker 8 just leave my things here

Speaker 7 i think when check-in opens i'm just gonna go and hang out at the hotel yeah sure baby whatever and seriously like How many fans can they actually fit in here?

Speaker 12 I reckon you talk to them once.

Speaker 15 then that's it right right yeah sure don't ever stay don't keep talking to the same ones they get their time just hey hey i know i know okay i know oh i really can't wait to see my friends react to derek sunborn being at our party it's gonna be pretty sick man oh absolutely looking forward to it baby hey gracie look what the fuck are you doing what what are you doing with that what it's the it's the stones they're fans they're gonna fucking freak out are you serious right now what what is wrong with you?

Speaker 3 Stop saying what?

Speaker 7 That is our next house in life. Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop it, stop.

Speaker 21 Oh, totally.

Speaker 7 This is how you got so broke. Stop, stop.
Stupid shit. Stop it.

Speaker 15 You listen to me. I do these gigs right.
I get the right buzz. People start talking about how great it was.
I get these.

Speaker 15 I get five or ten of these fucking things a week, so don't talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing, all right?

Speaker 22 Gracie, all right?

Speaker 14 Oh, God.

Speaker 9 Here we go.

Speaker 9 Lovely cup of tea. Whoa, hey, it's a cuppa.

Speaker 15 Sure, let's have a cup of tea, right?

Speaker 8 Right, some long-neglected shout-outs here whilst I take a breather from the wedding jubilation. Amelie, you turned 18 on the 12th of July.

Speaker 8 Big belated happy birthday from us, but the party is over, mate. It's time to tidy your room.
Because you've got to shout out now. The deal's a deal.
Alden in California, you had a birthday in July.

Speaker 8 Happy birthday to you. Again, sorry it's late.
And sorry, I'm...

Speaker 8 Yeah, a few drinks in at a wedding. But you've got to make do, haven't you?

Speaker 8 Sapphire has been in touch. Drum roll, please.
Happy birthday.

Speaker 8 Again, late, sorry. To Shanae, who turned 15.
Woo! Shanae.

Speaker 8 Oh, I'm not late to this one. Happy 14th birthday to Sophie.

Speaker 10 Yes, Sophie.

Speaker 8 And Bex and Ash wish a happy birthday to Becky, Bailey, Michael Edward, you're 29. Happy birthday to you down in Brisbane, Australia.

Speaker 8 Happy birthday, Banjamus in Denmark from Fiona.

Speaker 8 Shout out to Shiny. Shout out to Helia in Iran with Nabat the Cockatiel.
Happy birthday, Justine Earl. And a big final shout out to Michaela from Connecticut.

Speaker 8 Sorry, I haven't been able to squeeze more in, but

Speaker 8 I should really get

Speaker 8 this suit cleaned.

Speaker 8 There's a little picture of Mary in my pocket.

Speaker 8 I wore this at early service. I mean, just the UK part of it that her nurse friend

Speaker 8 did.

Speaker 8 This is

Speaker 8 that picture

Speaker 8 that I found all that time ago in Tonga's room.

Speaker 8 I meant to

Speaker 8 send it with her remains, and she went

Speaker 8 well

Speaker 8 when the plane took her home.

Speaker 8 But obviously, chose not to.

Speaker 9 It's a wedding, John, not a funeral. Happy thoughts.

Speaker 8 Happy thoughts.

Speaker 8 Sherlock, Mariana, Archie, Swindon not being completely shit. Let me just sip a little beer and check in on Shelve.

Speaker 8 Hello mate

Speaker 8 another voice note. I think you leave now and you'll make the reception.
It's not like you get invited to that many weddings, so

Speaker 8 yeah, put the effort in.

Speaker 8 Alright.

Speaker 8 Sake.

Speaker 7 Food wasn't that bad, was it?

Speaker 8 Hey, it's the bride.

Speaker 8 The half-drunk bride. Not quite.

Speaker 16 I mean,

Speaker 14 yeah, maybe.

Speaker 8 What are you doing out here? It's your big day. Get back in the

Speaker 9 big giant tent thing.

Speaker 2 I wanted to see if you're okay.

Speaker 11 Really? No.

Speaker 21 I needed a wee.

Speaker 8 Oh.

Speaker 7 What's up?

Speaker 8 Nothing. Nothing.
I'm at the best wedding ever. Nothing's up.

Speaker 7 Greg's nervous.

Speaker 8 Oh, mate.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but he'll be fine.

Speaker 8 Of course, of course. He will nail it.

Speaker 7 It'll probably help to have your friendly face in there. He thinks you're great.

Speaker 8 Does he? Does he? Oh, that's.

Speaker 2 That's nice. You are great, John.

Speaker 4 So whatever it is, honestly, Nadia.

Speaker 7 She's

Speaker 3 kind of here with you.

Speaker 6 In a way, too.

Speaker 8 See?

Speaker 4 The little sparkle. Hmm.

Speaker 8 Of course.

Speaker 8 The ring.

Speaker 8 Your little Suracula.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hi there, Mary Morstan.

Speaker 8 Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 8 Even if it is just

Speaker 8 a little sparkle of the sunset on a drunk woman's finger.

Speaker 7 Half drunk, thank you.

Speaker 8 Half drunk, yeah, sorry.

Speaker 18 Sorry, no idea.

Speaker 8 Don't do that.

Speaker 7 Don't say sorry.

Speaker 12 A hug will do. Sure.

Speaker 8 This is stupid because I actually couldn't be happier for either of you.

Speaker 17 It's not stupid. You've had the hardest life.
You do the toughest job. It's a bloody wedding, for God's sake.
Of course, it's where the good stuff comes out.

Speaker 8 The good stuff?

Speaker 17 Yeah, the tears and the emotions. Just you wait until my sister gets up there.

Speaker 7 It's okay.

Speaker 17 John Podcast Watson.

Speaker 12 Thank you.

Speaker 8 I'll see you in there.

Speaker 6 You look amazing. Thanks.

Speaker 14 So do you.

Speaker 7 Speak in a bit.

Speaker 8 Please don't make me open tissue packet number three. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You're running low on ammo, buddy.

Speaker 8 Any word?

Speaker 6 You know he's safe. You know he's doing what he loves.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but he'd love it here, too, you know.

Speaker 6 You can't grieve a life you almost had. And worry about him, then drink ten beers and expect to be okay.

Speaker 3 First of all,

Speaker 8 I've had nine beers. Second of all.
John, I get it.

Speaker 6 Nobody gets it more than me. You look at Stanford.

Speaker 6 You were at the start line together, right?

Speaker 6 Yep. And now he...
Well, he drives that car. Yep.
He has that house.

Speaker 6 He's married now. He's handsome.
Is he? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Also, he basically just deals with boobs now.

Speaker 8 He literally sits in an air-conditioned office in Harley Street, talks about boobs all day, then he goes home.

Speaker 8 And he is paid like 300 grand a year to do it.

Speaker 8 It's like...

Speaker 8 Did he make a wish? You know, when I I met him when we were 18, I mean, Jesus, he did.

Speaker 3 It definitely came true.

Speaker 8 Me, on the other hand, a basically failed uni, let's be honest. Dumped, enlisted, blown up, became a podcaster.
I mean, that's basically a punishment in itself.

Speaker 6 Yup.

Speaker 8 Try telling people you podcast for a living.

Speaker 8 And then.

Speaker 8 You know.

Speaker 8 Mary. Mary.

Speaker 8 The person I would have.

Speaker 8 Yeah, done this whole shindig with.

Speaker 18 Of course.

Speaker 8 But yoink.

Speaker 9 Nope, not for John.

Speaker 6 You have an amazing life.

Speaker 8 I know.

Speaker 6 And you deserve it. Because you are an amazing person.

Speaker 6 Look, I do the same thing you do, okay? It's why I deleted Facebook. It's why I have a limiter on Instagram.

Speaker 8 Because you look at weird stuff, Bull.

Speaker 6 No, it's because I look at who I saw way back at the start line. And where they are now, and I am telling you,

Speaker 7 it's dumb.

Speaker 21 I do it, but it's dumb.

Speaker 8 It is

Speaker 9 dumb.

Speaker 8 It is.

Speaker 8 Thanks, Mariana Amethazora.

Speaker 6 You're welcome, John Watson.

Speaker 10 Ah, speeches.

Speaker 6 Oh my god, Greg.

Speaker 8 Right, he is gonna need big enthusiasm here. I'm talking American talk show levels of over-the-top laughter and cheering.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 14 On it. Let's go.
Go, go.

Speaker 8 I should be able to grab beer number 10 just in time.

Speaker 7 Oh, great.

Speaker 3 Looking forward to that.

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Speaker 8 Tu mares est frutartus favoritos por menos. Ja sel una Bicmac, McNuggets.
O un sausage, egg and cheese, McFriddles. Pidetuanto hocomo un meal, y a hora.
Oof, nava comodarte un gustaso, por tam poco.

Speaker 8 Los extra value meals están de regreso.

Speaker 19 Gana por la mañana con el extra value meal, sausage, mc, muffin with egg, hash browns, and a cafe.

Speaker 19 Poros $8.

Speaker 19 Bada, ba-ba-ba. Preses y participación pueden varia.
Los preces de la promión pueden sermonores que lo de las comidas.

Speaker 19 Uh

Speaker 7 are they gonna be much longer?

Speaker 9 They are taking a rather long time, aren't they, Gracie?

Speaker 15 Yeah, like what is going on here exactly?

Speaker 3 Nothing.

Speaker 3 I see that, Kevin.

Speaker 15 I see a whole lot of nothing, buddy.

Speaker 8 Come on. I think

Speaker 7 are you bullshitting us?

Speaker 13 Is it it just you?

Speaker 7 Is it literally just you and your dog? And you brought us over here to keep you company? Be honest.

Speaker 9 Be honest.

Speaker 7 Be honest.

Speaker 10 Well, let's take it in turns.

Speaker 9 I couldn't possibly go before one of my guests. I think Harley Silvius here could go first.

Speaker 8 Oh, what?

Speaker 9 Honesty.

Speaker 15 Dude, listen to me, you say, right? I spend my whole life separating ego from the true self through meditation and yoga, right?

Speaker 8 How tall are you?

Speaker 15 What?

Speaker 9 How tall?

Speaker 15 You can see how tall.

Speaker 9 I noticed you didn't offer to remove your shoes in my home. A little impolite, but I'll forgive it.
Shut up.

Speaker 7 Uh, you booked him for a job. You're lucky he's here.
Mr.

Speaker 9 Silvius, I represent a client of mine who had his prized possession stolen from him while kindly sharing it with fans of your famous film.

Speaker 9 I examined the footage of the Mazarin stone being taken, and I noticed a similarity between the way both you and the thief dress.

Speaker 15 This is some real dumb shit.

Speaker 9 In isolation, perhaps it is. But I suppose when you map it onto your financial woes, your presence at the convention, the fact the fire alarm was triggered at 1.32,

Speaker 9 just about the only time you were between panels.

Speaker 9 The fact that your lanyard from the event went up for sale on eBay shortly after, listed by a fan after they found it in the disabled access bathroom, right near the breached fire alarm, from what the floor plan tells me.

Speaker 9 These and many other things tell me a great deal and thus invalidates the dumb shit analysis directed at just one singular point in a whole litany of clues that perfectly align. But the worst thing

Speaker 15 the worst

Speaker 9 thing is the fact that you knew you could get away with it. You knew that Greg Hero worshipped you.
That he believed the myth more than the man. He only saw honor and decency.

Speaker 2 He saw Darrick Sunborn.

Speaker 9 That intelligent, brilliant young man that that solved a complicated series of puzzles and logical games to receive the stone in the first place, couldn't see past the love and admiration he had for you.

Speaker 9 And what did you do?

Speaker 15 Listen to me right now. Stop!

Speaker 9 You didn't love him back. You didn't appreciate him.
You didn't respect. I mean, goodness, you could have just even done what most celebrities do and just bask in his affections, but you didn't.

Speaker 9 You did the worst thing. You exploited it.

Speaker 9 You didn't see his love for you as a strength. You saw it as a weakness, and you exploited it.

Speaker 9 The only thing that has come between your true self and your ego, Mr.

Speaker 10 Silvius, is your greed.

Speaker 15 But you d you don't. You don't everybody thinks that they

Speaker 15 but they don't that things have not

Speaker 15 they have not been easy for me, okay?

Speaker 9 Oh, so take it out on others, why don't you?

Speaker 12 Come on, let's go.

Speaker 9 Gracie, there's no night at Claridge's for goodness sake. Will you just finish your bloody tea? It's the only freebie you're getting.

Speaker 7 What is your problem?

Speaker 9 I'm very tired, and I would like this resolved, so I can go and be with my friends.

Speaker 18 Then we'll go.

Speaker 10 I am a leading consulting detective.

Speaker 9 I work extremely closely with law enforcement. Do you honestly believe that I would allow that to happen?

Speaker 8 You complete idiots.

Speaker 7 Do you think you can take us? Both of us.

Speaker 3 You could try, mate.

Speaker 9 Yes, I can, but I wasn't planning on doing that. There is a patrol car outside.

Speaker 15 Patrol car? How do you know?

Speaker 9 I know because she's most likely looking for me.

Speaker 8 She?

Speaker 7 We could probably take a police officer too.

Speaker 9 You can't take this one.

Speaker 7 Um, don't be so sure.

Speaker 15 Let's think, right? Would they even know what to arrest us for? She won't even know what she's doing in this situation.

Speaker 9 The patrol car contains a woman who was knighted by the king exactly for the reason of knowing what she was doing.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, right.

Speaker 14 Here's here.

Speaker 18 Here's what we're gonna do.

Speaker 15 We're gonna stay in touch, right? We'll stay in touch with you, Kev. We're gonna open a dialogue between us and Greg, right?

Speaker 8 No, Harley.

Speaker 9 I'm going to go in my bedroom. You're going to discuss who stays here as collateral while the other retrieves the stone and brings it back.

Speaker 9 And I will miss my friend's wedding and stay here in this flat with the two most dull, borish, self-involved people on the planet. So thank you very much.

Speaker 9 Let me know which one of you it's going to be and I will mentally prepare. And please make up your mind swiftly.

Speaker 9 Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's right, okay.

Speaker 7 What the fuck are we gonna do? Is the patrol car there? Like, actually there?

Speaker 10 Um, um, I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't know. What?

Speaker 7 You can't see it.

Speaker 15 I can't, but that doesn't mean he's he's lying.

Speaker 7 I'm calling it. He's lying.

Speaker 15 Gracie, please.

Speaker 7 Harley, we can't fucking hand him over the stone, and we can't do what he wants us to do because you are a dumb asshole that brought the stone with you in the first place.

Speaker 7 Your voice down. Oh, what? So you can't hear me over that racket.
He doesn't know we have the stone, right?

Speaker 15 He doesn't know we have it here.

Speaker 22 But he wants to hold one of us here.

Speaker 7 What if I go and I come back with backup?

Speaker 15 That's good. No, that's good.
Right, you go get your brother, right?

Speaker 15 Get your brother and his buddies. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 Bring them back here.

Speaker 15 It'll be late. You could drive me.

Speaker 10 Sure, and then we beat the crap out of this guy.

Speaker 15 It's gonna...

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 9 Was that you?

Speaker 8 Was what me? What?

Speaker 8 Is it

Speaker 15 the statue? Is it like an animatronic?

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 22 The statue, Greasy?

Speaker 7 No, he said it was a waxwork.

Speaker 22 Yeah, well, I just heard it move, okay?

Speaker 8 I heard it move.

Speaker 7 Okay, then, maybe it's an animatronic, Holly. What do you want, mate?

Speaker 14 It's just. It's.

Speaker 22 It's so real.

Speaker 7 Oh, do you want to call him back out from the bedroom, please?

Speaker 21 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 22 Detail of the light.

Speaker 15 It actually feels like skin.

Speaker 7 Holly! What?

Speaker 8 Call him back out here.

Speaker 7 Tell him him the plan.

Speaker 3 Okay, the plan.

Speaker 18 You sure?

Speaker 15 You want to do this, right?

Speaker 17 Of course.

Speaker 7 We'll smash his head in like it's made out of wax, won't we?

Speaker 10 Hey, buddy!

Speaker 15 Hey, Kev, buddy, you in there?

Speaker 11 Hello, everyone.

Speaker 8 Hey!

Speaker 14 Come on, Kevs!

Speaker 8 Um,

Speaker 11 I never thought I'd be doing one of these, but um,

Speaker 11 yeah,

Speaker 11 when I first met Mark. Oh, oh, by the way, this isn't, this isn't gonna be funny.
This one.

Speaker 8 Oh, oh, all right,

Speaker 8 maybe it is.

Speaker 11 I didn't see myself doing something like this.

Speaker 11 And then I met Mark.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 11 the way we got on,

Speaker 11 the way he just embraced me for who I was,

Speaker 11 I think my world just opened up.

Speaker 11 They say,

Speaker 11 what do they say

Speaker 11 they say you don't find friends later on in life

Speaker 11 especially men

Speaker 8 but I did

Speaker 8 I found one

Speaker 11 and now that friend has become family

Speaker 11 and he's shown me all these other friends

Speaker 11 It's like

Speaker 11 it

Speaker 11 there's this scene in Mazarin's stun.

Speaker 7 Oh, God, here we go.

Speaker 8 Uncle Jim, you had 35, didn't you? Hey, I've got the mic.

Speaker 7 Wait your turn.

Speaker 11 You just have to say your wife looks pretty and you're done.

Speaker 14 That is true.

Speaker 8 I've got to do all the hard work.

Speaker 11 Anyway,

Speaker 10 bloody heckless.

Speaker 8 There's this scene where Derek

Speaker 11 has lost everything.

Speaker 11 Or at least he feels like he's lost everything.

Speaker 14 Hey, Calf, can you open the door?

Speaker 7 Doing what you asked, mate.

Speaker 10 Hello, open up.

Speaker 15 I'm gonna open this shit. I'm gonna open it.
I'm opening this door.

Speaker 8 I'm gonna open it. I'm opening the door.

Speaker 8 What the?

Speaker 17 What's going on?

Speaker 11 And the truth is,

Speaker 11 the truly remarkable moments

Speaker 11 and the truly remarkable people

Speaker 8 they fall into your

Speaker 8 life

Speaker 11 into your lap

Speaker 11 into your pocket

Speaker 11 like

Speaker 8 this little guy christ he got it back oh yeah this weird little stone yeah hello you two oh sherlock mate you made it

Speaker 17 what's going on He's gone.

Speaker 15 He's not in here.

Speaker 7 Well then, let's go.

Speaker 15 Even in.

Speaker 14 Holy shit.

Speaker 8 Holy shit.

Speaker 8 That's crazy, crazy, crazy.

Speaker 11 And when they arrive in your life,

Speaker 11 when they come your way,

Speaker 11 the one thing you have to do

Speaker 11 is hold on to them.

Speaker 9 Oldest trick in the book.

Speaker 16 Can I give you a lift?

Speaker 9 Yes, please, Gwen.

Speaker 8 Hold on to them

Speaker 8 and never,

Speaker 11 never

Speaker 11 let them go.

Speaker 11 Ladies and gentlemen,

Speaker 19 the bride and groom.

Speaker 19 Alright,

Speaker 16 people have asked me to get up and do a number, so here we go.

Speaker 23 This one is for my wonderful wife.

Speaker 8 Woo-hoo!

Speaker 16 I fell in love with you and you with me.

Speaker 8 Now I'm as happy as a guy could be.

Speaker 23 Who, baby, you're my lady?

Speaker 10 Where is she?

Speaker 23 You and me against the world, just you and I.

Speaker 23 You bring a teardrop to my eye.

Speaker 8 I love you, pretty baby.

Speaker 8 Where is she?

Speaker 23 Come on, come and do the the chorus for me, nuts.

Speaker 14 Come on,

Speaker 8 baby is in love, come on,

Speaker 8 baby isn't love,

Speaker 8 baby is alone,

Speaker 8 baby isn't love,

Speaker 8 Mrs. Nadia Stafford!

Speaker 8 Thank you, thank you. No, no more, no more.
She's false folks.

Speaker 23 I'm gonna have you back to this wonderful band.

Speaker 8 Take it away, guys.

Speaker 6 That's my favorite constellation.

Speaker 9 I'm not familiar with it.

Speaker 6 Exactly. I made it up.
And I think that's why I like it.

Speaker 8 Sherlock?

Speaker 9 Yes, Watson.

Speaker 8 Why do I have a message from Mark Merillo saying he saw you jump out the window?

Speaker 9 Ah, yes, that's not quite what happened.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 what happened?

Speaker 9 I knew my turbulent guest would break out into argument, so I climbed out my bedroom window, into the lounge window, and threw waxwork Sherlock out onto the pavement.

Speaker 8 Oh, wow.

Speaker 6 And when you took his place.

Speaker 8 Exactly that. Well, you just stood there.

Speaker 9 Indeed, and witnessed the whole conversation that they had the stone on them. And when he got close enough to prod my cheeks and fiddle with my eyelashes.

Speaker 8 Oh, at least someone's seen some action today.

Speaker 9 I took it from his pocket.

Speaker 8 The old switcheroo.

Speaker 6 Oldest trick in the book.

Speaker 8 Indeed. I was never really a big space guy, but

Speaker 8 it is quite something, isn't it?

Speaker 6 The stars?

Speaker 5 Ugh, hell yes.

Speaker 8 Welcome to my world.

Speaker 8 Or...

Speaker 6 universe.

Speaker 8 Which one are you?

Speaker 4 Which star? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Oh, uh,

Speaker 6 I am

Speaker 6 that one.

Speaker 8 What one?

Speaker 13 Okay, so you see those

Speaker 6 two really close together?

Speaker 8 Uh uh-huh.

Speaker 6 I'm the one looking at them right there.

Speaker 6 Going,

Speaker 13 look at these two idiots.

Speaker 8 Hey, is that one Archie? Well, they are balls of gas, so in a way, they're all Archie.

Speaker 10 Oh, Archie, you are getting roasted, mate.

Speaker 8 You're not even here to defend yourself. Oh, Archie.
Oh, Archie. I cannot believe you threw your own waxwork onto the paper.

Speaker 8 Hey, look, you've got to have a fun one every now and again, haven't you? Can't be all murder and coercion every week, we'd all be miserable.

Speaker 8 So, thank you for listening to the adventure of the Mazarin Stone. And hey, I'm a writer now.
Forgot to say, no big deal.

Speaker 8 If you head on over to the Patreon, you'll be able to read my nightcaps, little shortcases that didn't make their way into audio form. I have typed them up in story form.

Speaker 8 So you go enjoy that, I'll go have a sandwich, and I'll see you next time for another adventure. Bye!

Speaker 8 Darruk,

Speaker 8 Sunborn.

Speaker 15 Yo, hey, what's up?

Speaker 21 You survived.

Speaker 15 Huh, you must be the universe.

Speaker 13 That would be accurate.

Speaker 3 You sound hot.

Speaker 5 Where is the stone?

Speaker 15 You know, I always wanted to meet a Miss Universe.

Speaker 2 Where

Speaker 8 is

Speaker 21 the stone?

Speaker 8 The stone, huh?

Speaker 15 You see, I figured something out. That creepy wizard guy down on Metaphor, he was a drillion all along, right?

Speaker 21 I believe it to be so.

Speaker 15 So he couldn't have put the stone in my pocket.

Speaker 21 He could not.

Speaker 15 Which means it came from my dad.

Speaker 9 Not possible.

Speaker 3 Love is impossible. That's what I'm telling you.

Speaker 15 Love is impossible. The way it makes you feel, the things it makes you do, the way it shapes.
Even you, Miss Universe, you can't measure it, you can't see it.

Speaker 15 It's a relative force in the cosmos, up there with space, time, and gravity. You want it a fourth dimension? You got it.

Speaker 14 And that stone,

Speaker 18 the Mazarin stone,

Speaker 3 it's love.

Speaker 21 But the stone must be preserved, Sunborn.

Speaker 14 Always

Speaker 15 right in here.

Speaker 21 Where are you going?

Speaker 8 Home.

Speaker 15 This universe. Just to confuse her.

Speaker 8 I'm going home.

Speaker 8 I was the cause. Your extra is all and it's never a day later.
You're burning your anchor. Right up in my face.
It's never a dollar that I couldn't explain things. I was the cause.
I was the cause.

Speaker 8 You're getting me sober.

Speaker 14 You called me a loser. I saw you at dinner, said I wasn't abuser.
You're selling my mom lies just to confuse her. I was the cause, I was the cross.

Speaker 14 Just a little bit of money.

Speaker 14 Lay up in the money.

Speaker 14 I'm the cause, I was the cause.

Speaker 14 Just to let them out of money.

Speaker 14 Lay up and money.

Speaker 14 I'm the cause, I was the cost.

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