The Norwood Builder - Part Four

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Trip planner by Expedia.

You were made to outdo your holiday,

your hammocking,

and your pooling.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

Good night, itchy eyes.

Good night, sudden sneeze.

Good night to your symptoms of allergies.

Zyzole is the allergy medicine you take before bed.

It provides powerful relief while you rest your head.

Not just all night, but all the next day.

Xizole keeps working, keeping allergies at bay.

And without those annoying symptoms disturbing your rest, you can wake up the next morning feeling your absolute best.

Remember, be wise all takes Xyzole at night.

Yes, hello.

Um, right.

Go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co for early access ad-free adventures in full bonus episodes.

Your handwriting is terrible.

And

munch, munch more.

That's patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Previously on Sherlock and Co.

Hector, we're gonna get this food delivery over to you, okay?

You're gonna let Miss Myers answer the door to the driver.

now get a bloody move on or somebody dies

gwen i couldn't help overhear the interactions of your negotiator just now you couldn't help could you hector is requesting to speak to myself and the doctor

your silence is very telling it's telling you that we want information from you not the other way round why did he ask for us because we foolishly allowed him a call to his wife and she told him that we're re-examining the case it's not your case to examine nor re-examine Dr.

Watson.

She almost certainly did, Watson, and now Hector in there sees us as his only salvation.

Wouldn't that be right, Dame Lestrade?

Are we involved in this case or not?

There's ground rules.

There always are with you.

Welcome again to Madame Two Swords.

Mr.

Holmes!

Hector!

Oh, you've changed your mind then, have you?

I have indeed, sir.

It wouldn't have anything to do with me taking your gun, would it?

Certainly not.

Hector, are you okay?

That was a sniper.

It wasn't us.

Get away from the window, Hector.

Hector, I promise you, that was the police.

Good on Hector.

No, stop.

Truth or dare, Dr.

Watson.

If you don't want the truth, I do want it, Hector.

Then you get the dare.

George, to cover.

I hear footsteps.

He's closing us down, Watson.

Hold on.

I've got an idea.

This Nazi uniform is itchy.

Well, we must remain perfectly still.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

The great detective, eh?

Frozen with fear.

Quite literally petrified.

Oh,

Do you know what I've gotta be honest?

I didn't think I'd ever have to give trigger warnings about me being dressed as a Nazi, but um

here it is.

Welcome to the final part of the Norwood Builder.

Hi, I'm John.

John Hitler.

No, that's um that's that I'm I'm John Watson.

Hi, hi, uh are you here to to save us?

I was, yeah, but uh, now I'm a hostage, part of the gang now.

I had a notification on my phone and it uh, yeah, it gave it gave us away, and now here we are.

Oh.

Right.

Um, Hector, sorry, mate.

What?

Can I change out with a Nazi unit?

No!

Great.

Great.

So, how long are you visiting the UK for?

Uh ten days.

Oh, cool, great.

Seven days in in London, then

I'm gonna do a uh a couple of cities, uh Liverpool,

Manchester, sure, and Macclesfield.

What?

People said I should go see Macclesfield.

Who said that?

Some guys I met.

Right.

Yeah, well.

Good luck with that.

Watson?

Yes, mate.

Have you

have you observed an escape route?

Have you deduced something about our surroundings that would get us out of here?

Is there a loose wall panel?

Who called you?

Was the food delivery?

No, your phone was ringing when Hector took us in here.

Oh, it was Mariana, but Hector wouldn't let me answer.

Oh.

What did she want?

I don't know, Sherlock.

Okay.

Is that...

Is that it?

You should have answered, really.

Sherlock?

Yes.

You know, Mussolini was shot.

Do you know what happened then?

No.

What?

He was so annoying that people just, like, beat up his body in the town square for a whole afternoon.

That's how annoying he was.

I see.

Ghastly.

Something to think about.

You want to beat up my corpse.

Should Hector shoot me?

I am keeping my options open.

Would be difficult with your broken and bloody finger.

Oh, what, this one?

You're swearing at me again.

Nah, mate, just showing you my broken and bloody finger.

How very clever.

Yeah, well, instead of stealing rodent bombs, did you ever consider maybe preventing your own dangerous items from getting stolen?

And what of your cheeseburger, Watson?

Was that worth it?

To get us caught?

To turn us into hostages?

I have literally spent the last 20 minutes apologising.

What more do you want?

I'll tell you what.

When Hector shoots me, I'll make sure my tombstone says, Sorry, Sherlock, my bad.

You don't think for one moment that Hector MacFarlane would actually kill us, do you?

Have you seen what the media says about this guy?

He's a psycho.

They say he killed a dude and ate his body.

Right, yeah, I don't.

We don't know if that's true.

It's true.

I saw a newspaper in my hotel.

What happened to your hand?

I caught it running off the stairs when he brought us up here.

Have you shown him?

What?

Has Hector seen your wound?

What did I say about scheming?

No scheming.

We're not scheming.

I'm a doctor, and I'm checking her hand.

You see, Hector?

This bloody cut on her palm.

Oh, good lord.

Yes, yes, yes.

Some of the blood is still oozing.

Stop!

Will that be alright, Doctor?

The ooziness.

Well, I may have to stitch it in case the wound opens up and spews out more.

Enough!

Do what you've got to do!

And there you have it.

Now, what exactly?

A plot hole in the media narrative.

What are you talking about?

Hector, the morning you left, you touched the club hammer and the angle grinder.

I.

Yes.

Yes, I did.

They were planted in your path.

Jonas, he.

He framed me.

He framed me for a murder I didn't commit.

There is no murder.

He's alive.

He's alive.

Why would he do this to me?

I'm aware I'm dressed as a Nazi, so to try and separate what I'm saying from how I look, but

you can be a bit mean, Hector, and I think you treated Jonas badly, and

you really can't go through life being so unkind.

I deserve this, do I?

No, no, that's not what I said.

Well, that sounds a lot like you said I deserve it.

He's not saying you deserved it.

He's saying you provoked it.

Exactly.

And not everything is a fight.

Life isn't a courtroom where there's winners or losers.

Just...

you know, just tone it down.

I'm just giving you the truth.

Thank you.

And now it is time for a dare.

What?

Giving a gunman the middle finger.

That's pretty daring, don't you?

Yeah, it is a bit on the bloody side, isn't it?

It's definitely broken.

In two places, possibly.

And he's down.

Well done, Watson.

Well done, you, mate.

We're heroes.

We're bloody heroes.

And now, the communication from the Met Police has been quite clear that any moment now,

we will see the hostages emerge with no doubt their rescuers.

That's not too strong a word.

Absolutely, Peter.

I think, given everything we know about the siege and the role of these two armies.

The door is opening, the door of the eastern entrance to Manakusaurs is opening.

And oh, oh my god.

and

the the two gentlemen appear to be dressed in somewhat

problematic attire

I don't think the enthusiastic waving is is helping

nor the moustache from the gentleman there on the on the right on the far right I should say Helen I don't know if you've got any thoughts look it's it's a significant moment Peter we can't forget that despite

everything we're seeing right now

with our army.

Absolutely significant moment, incredible moment for those hostages, the families concerned, and everybody, in fact,

involved

in this siege.

We're going to go.

I'm told my producer is telling me we need to go to.

We need to come off these pictures.

These are awful.

Hector McFarlane arrived at his pre-trial hearing today with a very simple and clear message.

I am innocent.

He received a raucous response from those that stood outside from the middle of the morning.

Sherlock Hancoma, I'm speaking to the solicitor from Blackheath, who's

murdered.

Turn it down.

Sure.

Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's no problem.

We should have some availability next week.

Sure,

great.

Okay, take care.

Bye.

Um

not that I was eavesdropping.

You can, it is your business, too.

But you said we have availability next week.

Yeah, we do, right?

We do, yes.

But some of us are transfixed on this case.

Right.

But um

we can't solve it.

You know, preaching to the choir

boy

the 35-year-old choir boy who's good at podcasting.

Sure, I'm just saying, look at him.

Yeah,

hey, Sherlock, yes,

I think it's maybe time to let this case go.

They're convicting an innocent man.

That's the jury's job, not yours.

He hired us, did he not?

Well, he hasn't paid anything, so

I was so sure.

I know mate.

I was so sure that Jonas Oldacre would turn up, reveal himself or

or

miscalculate.

But yeah

sorry Sharles, I

I d I don't know what to tell you.

But this isn't how it should work.

We revealed faulty evidence, we we poked holes in their narrative.

Sherlock, some things in life

they should work and they should be straightforward and they're not, mate.

You know, it's like washer dryers or

peel and reseal.

Yeah, it never bloody works, does it?

You open a bag or something, oh, look at this, a little sticker so I can close it up, keep it fresh.

Oh, wait, no, it doesn't fucking work.

It doesn't stick.

It keeps popping back open.

Little crumbs get stuck to it.

John.

What?

I'm trying to help.

You are not helping.

I know what will help.

Now I know.

A case.

Ariana.

That's not how his brain works.

I think I know how his brain works.

No, I think I do.

He's systematic.

Solve a problem, move on.

Solve a problem, move on.

He doesn't introduce new problems until.

That is not how it works.

That is how it works, right, Sherlock?

See, he won't even listen to this conversation until the previous thing is resolved.

You're making him sound narrow-minded.

I'm not.

I'm just, I'm saying, you can't chuck 27 problems at him and expect that.

What?

27.

See?

He wants other cases.

Cases?

Other cases?

27.

SE 27.

SE 270DT.

Okay, maybe I broke him a little.

There was...

When this whole thing started, you were listing off cases to distract me from the mouse.

Wait, I...

I was?

There was.

A vicar.

He was in SE270 DT.

Food was being stolen from the church.

So...

SE27-0-DT,

Watson.

What?

What does that mean?

I'm not a sat-nav.

Norwood.

That is a Norwood postcode.

Cornelius Kitchens is registered there.

That's his business name.

And it.

Jonas Aldacre lived there.

The police have searched his home a thousand times.

The email from the vicar, where is it?

Uh, okay, let me find it.

Um.

Uh, okay, here we go.

Um,

there.

What?

This has been going on since

Tuesday, the 14th.

Well, wait, when Jonas went missing,

where are you going?

We have to find answers, Watson.

And I believe that the answers are in the church.

Found God now, have you?

Never thought I'd see the day.

Gwen, Sherlock.

Uh, hi, Dame Gwendolyn.

Oh, uh, hi.

I'm quite busy, Gwen.

So am I.

You don't look it.

You look like you're lingering outside my front door.

I I was in the courtroom today, for the pre-hearing.

Okay, lovely.

Can I just get past you?

No.

Oh,

please.

Listen to me.

I was in the courtroom today.

Mm-hmm.

And a security officer I know, Krishan, last week had his ear scratched at by a previous appointment.

She was pretty pissed off after a manslaughter judgment didn't go the way she wanted, so she took it out on Krishan.

With these big, fake vinyl nails clawing at his head over and over.

Anyway, he was back today.

I saw him.

We caught up.

Had a good laugh about it.

He's a good guy, Krishan.

But it didn't go so well today.

A stitch broke as he was escorting Hector to the hearing.

Okay.

Send Krisham my regards.

It was rather bloody.

Well, I hope he got the medical attention he deserved.

Excuse me now.

Bye-bye.

He didn't, actually.

Why not?

Because Hector did.

Why did Hector get medical attention?

Because when Hector saw what happened, he vomited and collapsed.

What are you saying?

I'm not saying.

I'm asking.

What are you asking?

Can I give you a lift?

Yes, you can.

Tires matter.

They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.

Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

Fast, Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, convenient installation options, and the best selection of BF Goodrich tires.

Go to tireraack.com to see their BF Goodrich test results, tire ratings, and reviews, and be sure to check out all the special offers.

TireRack.com, the way tire buying should be.

New Icy Hot.

Nighttime Recovery relieves pain at nighttime while your body recovers.

Icy Hot, you're so back.

Every idea starts with a problem.

Warby Parker's was simple.

Glasses are too expensive.

So they set out to change that.

By designing glasses in-house and selling directly to customers, they're able to offer prescription eyewear that's expertly crafted and unexpectedly affordable.

Warby Parker glasses are made from premium materials like impact-resistant polycarbonate and custom acetate.

And they start at just $95, including prescription lenses.

Get glasses made from the good stuff.

Stop by a Warby Parker store near you.

Okay, this is it.

St.

Luke's Church.

Let's go.

Just wait, let her park.

I can leave it here.

Oh, pick her the job.

Yeah, fair enough.

Come on.

Eat it.

Just don't, um.

This is a holy place, Sherlock, okay?

So be uh

respectful.

Hold it right right there, Sherlock.

That's a vicar.

Excuse me, Vicar.

My name is Gwen Lestrade.

Yes, I know who you are.

Welcome to St.

Luke's, Dame Gwen Lestrade.

Thank you.

I'm here to help you, actually.

Help?

With what?

Your case.

Crime reference number B8864209.

Filed on Tuesday, the 14th.

Ah.

And you made a request to us as well.

Uh, this.

Well, we're Sherlock and Co.

Like London buses.

Yes, I guess it's

not yet.

Um, if if you could just remind us the food the food, yes, it's kindly donated by local businesses.

It gets posted through our parcel door, you see.

Come through

here.

This is where it comes through.

The usually the cafes that don't sell all their pastries or what have you, it it comes into here.

And it's gone missing.

Yes, well, I've thought that perhaps people had stopped donating, you see.

Tough times, all that sort of thing.

Of course, yeah, yeah.

But I checked around to see if the church could help.

And it wasn't that.

They they they very much had been donating,

as far as they were aware.

So I thought

it was most likely a mouse, you know.

A mouse?

Silly, really.

I th the amount would be enormous, uh, and And it was all packaged, so it must be, regrettably, a person.

So it...

I'm not the you know that the church is not looking to press charges.

I want to help them.

They must be so desperate to do such a thing.

Could we take a look around, Vicar?

Absolutely.

These scenes earlier today from outside the pre-trial hearing for Hector MacFarlane, and there is an atmosphere of what I can only describe as growing rage.

Many believe, including incredibly the United States President himself, that Metropolitan Police armed units should have eliminated McFarlane during the Marin Tussaud siege.

The Prime Minister, however, is very clear that diplomacy is one thing,

justice is another.

How's the finger?

Don't do that.

Keep listening to Sherlock and go.

Spread the word.

Thanks.

How's your search going?

Uh, not great.

Just a lot of Bibles and empty seats.

Yep.

Not looking good, huh?

No, I've.

Do you think maybe there's a crypt under here or something?

Don't know.

Maybe.

Feels more like a Catholic thing, though, doesn't it?

Yeah.

I think we can perhaps keep in touch with St.

Luke's, and I can arrange for a patrol car to just ward off potential thieves.

Oh, that really won't be necessary.

I admire your empathy, but whoever is taking this food is not the intended recipient.

If they need it, they absolutely are.

I should probably

has our verdict been reached?

Possibly.

Not sure right now.

Okay.

Good to see you again.

Yeah, you too.

And to meet you, Mariana.

And give my best to Sherlock.

Oh, w where is he?

You haven't seen him.

No.

Oh.

Sherlock?

Sherlock?

Oh, sorry.

Is it alright if I shout?

Certainly.

Sherlock!

Sherlock!

Sherlock!

What?

Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing up there?

So can I take back all of that?

Or does God not do take backs?

He is much more forgiving than you'd think.

Sherlock,

can you get down, please?

Yes, I shall.

There's a handy spiral staircase right here.

It leads up to the clock tower.

Yes, it did.

Once.

Righto!

You all right?

Yes.

Vicar, I may well have found your mouse.

You have?

You...

Have?

I have.

From the outside, your clock tower is 55 feet.

I'll take your word for that one, I think.

Yet, that staircase is forty-four feet.

It's been some time since I've had the wherewithal to bound up those stairs, I'm afraid.

Yes, well, if you did, you'd see a ceiling with a hatch.

Rise, right?

Is that a problem?

Um, for a couple of reasons.

The builder you used is in violation of the Planning Act.

This is Grade 2 listed.

He can't use that plasterboard on his little ceiling.

Well, floor, in his case.

And the second reason is why you contacted us in the first place.

Oh.

Oh.

Do we think he's

up there?

Well, we can always test, can't we?

What is that?

It's a rodent smoke bomb.

Oh, God.

What?

Yeah, I forgot to mention this.

I can have half a dozen units here in literally three minutes, Sherlock.

Yes, but that's not as fun.

Sherlock.

there is an opening in the wall here, you see, that tracks with the stairs.

And this little tunnel, almost like a laundry chute or a chimney, heads all the way up to the bell tower.

It's a turret clock mechanism, one of its first in the UK, however.

So the building was fitted with this route up the tower to run a bell rope, should the church need to ring their bell manually.

But we can use it for a different purpose.

Let's just hold on a second.

It's twelve fifty-nine.

I'd like to get my timing just right.

Just right for what?

Hickory

Dickory

Doc.

Oh, you're kidding me.

The mouse ran up the clock.

The clock struck

one.

The mouse

ran

down

Hickory

Dickory

Catch him on the stairs, John.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, there we go.

Yeah, get down.

Few more steps.

In my throat.

Oh, Oh, I need some water.

Here,

Jonas.

Oh, oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Um,

Gwen.

Gwen.

Lestrade, Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police.

Uh,

yeah, um, no, no, I was just I was just doing some repairs for what was it, wasn't I?

For the church, the bell tower.

Don't lie, young man

hold on a moment you you

came here to quote me for some repair work yes on tuesday the fourteenth i bet

and he's rather outstayed his welcome unbeknownst to you vicar

you're having me on here

you let go of me no no i don't think i can rather nifty little compartment you built yourself there jonas you're quite a talented builder to put such a thing together without drawing attention to yourself oh Oh, and the kitchen at the MacFarlane's house in Blackheath.

Oh, very much so.

The MacFarlane's, your client.

They did, however, have a couple of complaints.

There was the one about the tools.

Yeah, you'd leave tools lying around, they said.

Come on, guys.

Look at it.

Like a club hammer and an angle grinder.

And then, of course, there was the framing of Hector MacFarlane.

For the gruesome murder of one Jonas Oldacre, the Norwood builder.

That one?

Hmm.

That may well get you a rather bad review online.

Come on, though.

It was a joke, right?

I was just pissing about, wasn't I?

It was a joke.

Come on.

Well, at least you made yourself laugh, Jonas.

It's a joke, is it?

Yes, I was winding him up.

Look, I'm trolling.

You're all like, look, look at your faces.

It was a joke.

Come on.

Hey?

Come on.

It's actually not a bad joke.

It's not.

I think the punchline could do the tweak, though.

Don't you?

What?

Look, I cut myself.

Alright, I put my blood on the hammer.

And it.

The bloody angle grinder on a bit coming too far.

Oh, please.

This way?

Alright, just let go a sec.

Actually, I think it's right here.

Bloody hell.

There's police on the door.

Lovely.

Oh, this is assault.

This is police brutality.

Are you in?

Come in, gentlemen.

Police ma'am,

police brutality.

Yes, you can, Christian.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, look at the job.

Very handy.

That the defendant then proceeded to.

Your honour

a little piece of evidence to take into account.

Oh, please, please,

I just...

I accept it.

Yeah, I took the joke too far.

All right, please.

Orter!

Please.

Orter, I will have order in this court.

Please!

Ladies and gentlemen of

the media,

over the past few weeks, my life has been subject to ridicule, to torment,

to persecution, whether that be by the press, by law enforcement, even by the British justice system, and sadly, by my family and friends.

There was a time only a matter of days ago where I'd lost everything.

Everything.

And I,

perhaps foolishly, took it upon myself to

regain control.

In doing so,

I

endangered eight totally innocent people and that is unforgivable.

Unforgivable.

But what I ask in these circumstances, and I will ask the same of the next jury that I face,

my actions may well have been unforgivable, but were they at least understandable?

And I have full faith that a jury of my peers will know that that if the powerful forces of this nation, its media, its police were turned against them, they too would follow in my footsteps and take up arms in defiance.

My wife, Shireen, and I would like to kindly request that we are allowed to return to our life in private, in peace.

Thank you.

Those words there from Hector MacFarlane.

Acquitted, of course, for the murder of Jonas Oldacre.

But now facing

a legal precedent has been established.

Yes, it has.

It is not illegal to be a prick.

Which is joyous news for pricks across the nation.

Jonas, of course, not so much.

Sorry, I'm talking to the listeners now, Arch.

You don't have to keep staring at me.

Although I do appreciate it.

The finger is fine, mate.

Stop trying to lick it.

Yeah, Jonas, of course, is locked up.

He stuck with the whole it was a joke shtick always is when you get caught, isn't it?

But ultimately, it seemed that he was framing Hector and was planning to run away, judging by some funds he had set aside.

The revenge against his client, threatening to take him to court over a kitchen, obviously backfired spectacularly.

But, you know, F-A-F-O, as they say.

Not sure what that means?

Google it.

Right, I'm going to...

What was I going to do?

I've forgotten.

Well, that's good.

Well, here's a shout-out.

Well, I think.

Shout-out to

Jenny with the cello from Catford.

Hello, Jenny with the cello from Catford.

Shout-out to Madiha.

No idea if that pronunciation is doing that lovely name justice.

Sorry, shout-out, Madiha.

Making some lovely art, too.

Thanks to your sister Inaya for showing it to me.

Hello, Mr.

Josh.

Podcast shout-out, my good friend Taper Fade.

Great, thanks a lot.

Egg in New Zealand.

Sorry, I missed your birthday.

Happy birthday.

Shout out to Valentine, to Spencer and Noah.

Shout out to Diane.

Well done on painting the stairwell.

Looks fab.

Right, there's loads of shout-outs.

Sorry, everyone.

But it is time to head downstairs and say thanks.

Oh, forgot to say.

Got this card from Shireen and Hector.

I'm on Cloud Wine, thanks to your help.

And it's a picture of

a wine glass.

Inside it says toasting to you with extra bubbles.

Then thanks for everything from Hector and Shireen.

Could do with paying us, really, but glad they're knocking it back.

Right, let's head downstairs and say thanks to those other two crime-solving

people

that I work with.

Come on, Arch.

Let's go and see.

What's on?

What is all that noise?

Oh, he should be locked up, Sherlock.

Well, I happen to believe otherwise.

Why exactly?

He is an animal.

We are all animals.

He should be in a cage.

That's punitive and humiliating.

He's done nothing wrong.

That's that's not the point.

Uh, what the hell is going on in here?

Uh-huh, what the?

There's a mouse.

This is Graham.

What do you mean?

I named him after the pest-controlled man.

Sherlock, you can't keep a mouse.

No, no, no, no, no, no, he touched my foot.

Graham, just back off me.

Graham, back off.

Why does he have to do this stuff?

Why?

We solve an amazing case.

We've got the head of bloody police praising us.

We've got the media blown away.

Hostages rescued.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He cares more about rescuing the mouse.

Great.

Graham, is that you?

Graham?

Stop the recording.

This is pathetic.

Join the Patreon, please.

There's lots of stuff coming up, Graham.