The Norwood Builder - Part One

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Speaker 8 Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

Speaker 9 I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

Speaker 11 He's going the distance.

Speaker 13 He was the highest-paid TV star of all time. When it started to change, it was quick.

Speaker 2 He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Speaker 13 Now, Charlie's sober.

Speaker 2 He's gonna tell you the truth.

Speaker 9 How do I present this with any class?

Speaker 13 I think we're past that, Charlie.

Speaker 9 We're past that, yeah.

Speaker 15 Somebody call action.

Speaker 2 Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Speaker 10 Yes, hello. Um, right.

Speaker 10 Go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co for early access ad-free adventures in full bonus episodes.

Speaker 19 Uh

Speaker 10 your handwriting is terrible.

Speaker 21 Yeah, I'm a doctor

Speaker 20 and

Speaker 10 uh munch munch more.

Speaker 10 That's patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co

Speaker 24 It's me.

Speaker 25 It's Dr. John Watson.
It's not,

Speaker 25 yeah, the diary of a CEO guy or

Speaker 6 oh come on, name another podcaster, John.

Speaker 29 Or not, just do the intro like a normal person. Welcome to the adventure of the Norwood Builder.
Swearing coming your way, murder coming way.

Speaker 25 And possibly some

Speaker 28 other

Speaker 25 problematic stuff that I've forgotten. But for full trigger warnings, dip into the episode description.

Speaker 30 Enjoy. Oh, this is a four-parter.

Speaker 3 Bye.

Speaker 27 Welcome, everyone, to the Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 29 podcast.

Speaker 27 No, I don't say that, do I? What do I say?

Speaker 27 Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 32 Well, welcome, everyone, to Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 33 Not the Sherlock and Co. podcast.

Speaker 33 Right, anyway, great intro John. That's why you lost in all three British podcast award categories.

Speaker 3 Right, welcome.

Speaker 27 I'm here with Genghis Khan

Speaker 25 and Julius Caesar.

Speaker 28 And this one

Speaker 27 is Camilla Parker Bowles.

Speaker 30 Feels like she might be in the wrong section.

Speaker 27 Welcome to Madame Two Swords.

Speaker 29 For those that don't know what that is, you must be very confused.

Speaker 30 It's a waxwork museum where famous, infamous and all-round notable people are recreated in wax form and put on display.

Speaker 27 Now, I cannot tell you how close we live to this place.

Speaker 30 It is a stone's throw from the flat.

Speaker 27 A literal stone's throw.

Speaker 34 I mean it would have to be a really really good throw, but a stone's throw nonetheless.

Speaker 6 And this

Speaker 32 is the first time

Speaker 35 we've actually bothered to come here.

Speaker 28 Yeah, usually what I do when I walk past is I tut at the crowds and roll my eyes, but I tell tell you what, I can see now what they're on about.

Speaker 25 Great stuff, so lifelike.

Speaker 25 Not that I know what Genghis Khan looks like, nor Julius Caesar, but uh, you know, it's very believable. There's a few exhibitions on

Speaker 30 US presidents, tyrants of time.

Speaker 28 Again, not sure why Camilla has found her way over here.

Speaker 30 Marvel superheroes.

Speaker 25 Um, there's various pop stars, uh, just over Mussolini's salute, I think I can see Beyoncé.

Speaker 4 Welcome.

Speaker 25 And yeah, I should probably

Speaker 36 track down Mariana, as I've somehow lost her.

Speaker 31 Ah, there she is.

Speaker 29 See the back of her head. Mary!

Speaker 37 Mary. Mariana.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 Oh, there you are.

Speaker 26 Did you just...

Speaker 21 No, no. Yes, you did.

Speaker 35 No, I didn't.

Speaker 21 You thought that was me?

Speaker 35 Nope, not true.

Speaker 28 Let's go.

Speaker 21 That's Gimli from the Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, but from behind.

Speaker 21 Oh, so from behind, I do look like Gimli. That's what you're saying.
Don't, don't hide behind Captain America.

Speaker 38 Help me, Cap.

Speaker 32 My name is Dr. John Watson.
Once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London.

Speaker 32 I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know.

Speaker 25 Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 25 Barbaric.

Speaker 32 Utterly barbaric.

Speaker 21 Sherlock, you're making me feel bad.

Speaker 8 And you should.

Speaker 32 How much longer, mate?

Speaker 39 Well, I'll have to set it off shortly, then you'll have to vacate in case we get a link.

Speaker 21 Should what?

Speaker 6 Off? Uh, bomb.

Speaker 3 Uh, rodent bomb.

Speaker 14 So, this is a bomb.

Speaker 10 That's what you mean to say? You're bombing the mouse.

Speaker 39 Can I ask that you put that back in my case, please, mate? They're rather harmful, you know?

Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 28 So you put the bomb where?

Speaker 39 You see where the mouse has made a hole in the skirting ball?

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 39 Scott enough room to put the rodent bomb in there, so I've checked to make sure the rest is sealed. Bob will go in.
I'll then seal up his entrance with uh with this.

Speaker 32 Little plastic box.

Speaker 39 Yeah, uh humane trap essentially. Bob will smoke him out and he'll come scurrying away from it and it's here and we can, you know, take him away.

Speaker 10 And then what, pest control, Graham? Then what?

Speaker 39 Well, we can terminate him.

Speaker 10 I hope you're proud of yourself.

Speaker 21 It's my flat, Sherlock.

Speaker 26 It's our office.

Speaker 21 Yes, but I sleep right there. I don't want a mouse eating and

Speaker 21 grabbing in my lounge.

Speaker 29 Let's tell you what, let's get a case on the go, and we can get out of here, onto the streets, solve some crime, come back.

Speaker 30 This is all sorted.

Speaker 10 Would I be able to visit the mouse?

Speaker 6 For goodness sake.

Speaker 39 Well, we do have a release program you know to release the mouse yeah it's another sixty quid plus fat excellent we'll take it uh when and where will the mouse be released uh has to pass tests first uh make sure it's not you know carrying any harmful infections and all that

Speaker 10 keep me informed of his progression gotta catch him first haven't we

Speaker 21 sherlock listen i have cases a woman here in chichester her husband took out a life insurance policy on her i'll be staying in london thank you.

Speaker 26 Great.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 21 Thanks. Um.

Speaker 21 London once. Uh, to

Speaker 21 do uh mugging in Belsize Park.

Speaker 10 I don't like mugging cases.

Speaker 15 A becker in St.

Speaker 21 Luke's Church, um,

Speaker 21 SC 270DT

Speaker 21 says donated food is going missing.

Speaker 10 Doesn't sound like a master criminal at work, does it?

Speaker 21 Okay, geez. Um.

Speaker 23 Are you doing it?

Speaker 10 Is the bomb detonation imminent?

Speaker 28 It's not the Manhattan Project, yet.

Speaker 27 Look.

Speaker 39 Just setting it off now.

Speaker 39 And now we seal it off.

Speaker 11 The mouse right there.

Speaker 37 It's right, dickery.

Speaker 39 Doc, and there he is.

Speaker 10 Oh, poor guy. Where was your empathy before the bombing?

Speaker 8 I think we, um...

Speaker 33 Possibly a slightly greater.

Speaker 19 Don't worry about that.

Speaker 41 I'll throw that out in two seconds.

Speaker 33 Yeah, we should probably head upstairs.

Speaker 21 I'm not your housekeeper.

Speaker 10 Did I insinuate that I thought you were?

Speaker 21 No, but I feel like every time I'm in your apartment, I'm doing your dishes. You don't have to.
No, no, I do have to.

Speaker 21 I can't look at that pile that builds up right by the window where all the flies and the bugs and stuff get in.

Speaker 21 What is this?

Speaker 14 That would be wax.

Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 21 Why is there wax all over this plate?

Speaker 10 I suspect there's a coating for hard cheese.

Speaker 21 It's melted.

Speaker 10 Yes, it's right by the window.

Speaker 5 Oh, you guys. Has anyone seen my microphone? No.

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 30 I've left it recording somewhere.

Speaker 10 I don't know where. Okay.

Speaker 5 What do you mean? Okay. Can you help me find it, please?

Speaker 10 I'm helping Mariana with the washing up.

Speaker 21 Huh? No, you're not.

Speaker 10 I'm answering your questions.

Speaker 5 Oh, never mind. Found it right next to the sharpest mind in the country, the man that observes all.

Speaker 10 Is that me?

Speaker 12 Is it? Yeah, well, apparently not.

Speaker 21 Okay, uh, plates done, they're stacked here to dry, pots done, and glasses are drying here, okay?

Speaker 3 Okay. I was gonna do the washing up.

Speaker 29 How would you like it if I came into your flat and started tidying up?

Speaker 21 I'd love it.

Speaker 25 Be honest. Okay, I'd hate it.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Speaking of your flat, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 21 What do you mean?

Speaker 27 Well, you saw it. It's like stars in their eyes down there.

Speaker 21 I uh actually, I don't know what that means.

Speaker 29 You could stay in 221B, the lad pad.

Speaker 21 You don't call it that. Please tell me you don't call it that.

Speaker 27 No, we don't, but we could.

Speaker 30 Huh. You know, you could stay over, we could stay up late, prank calling people, playing truth or dare with each other.

Speaker 10 What's truth or dare?

Speaker 3 I'll show you. Truth or dare.

Speaker 37 What?

Speaker 4 Give me a truth, or you do a dare.

Speaker 10 What kind of truth?

Speaker 32 About yourself. Like some

Speaker 30 scandalous stuff or family stuff.

Speaker 10 I'll take the dare.

Speaker 6 All right. Uh.

Speaker 4 Oh, eat this.

Speaker 21 John. What? That is Archie's dried food?

Speaker 3 You're gross.

Speaker 35 I'm not not asking him to eat the whole bowl.

Speaker 31 It's just one piece. All right.

Speaker 24 No, no.

Speaker 3 Ah, yes.

Speaker 2 A little stale.

Speaker 21 I am definitely not staying here.

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 35 Not tempted?

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 21 Now, I'm gonna wipe down these surfaces with the wipes I use. These are antibacterial.
They're not just wet rags that... Oh my god.

Speaker 24 What, another mouse? Is that a...

Speaker 21 There's a gun on the counter.

Speaker 3 Sherlock!

Speaker 10 Apologies. Yes, I was using it last night.

Speaker 21 You were using a gun in here? Sherlock, you can't do that.

Speaker 10 The magazine release was catching. I was merely lubricating it.

Speaker 21 Uh, I hide this. Um, I don't want a client reporting us to the police.

Speaker 10 Well, I'd quite like the police reporting us to a client.

Speaker 21 Put the gun away.

Speaker 12 I shall.

Speaker 10 Or perhaps you'd like to assassinate the mouse you just targeted with your chemical weaponry.

Speaker 21 Put the gun away.

Speaker 10 Can you hand it to me, please? Thank you.

Speaker 21 No, I will not. I don't want to touch that thing.

Speaker 5 I'll get the door then, shall I?

Speaker 29 You two are in a lovely mood today.

Speaker 6 Hello there.

Speaker 34 Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 6 Uh, close.

Speaker 27 John Watson. Is he next door?

Speaker 33 No, he's upstairs.

Speaker 27 Are you looking for Sherlock and Kirk?

Speaker 23 Yes, yes.

Speaker 34 That's right.

Speaker 18 Could I.

Speaker 22 Well, wouldn't it be a bother if I popped in?

Speaker 3 Uh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Sure, come on in. Thank you.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much.

Speaker 8 I'm Hector. Hector MacFarlane.
You're Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 34 John Watson.

Speaker 26 Oh, Bucker.

Speaker 34 Yes, of course.

Speaker 42 You said that already, didn't you?

Speaker 8 Just a little bloody... Oh, my head's all over the place, and I'm...

Speaker 43 I'm pissed off!

Speaker 14 To tell you the truth, I've had this...

Speaker 22 This... This whole thing is...

Speaker 3 I've really had it up to here.

Speaker 27 Alright, alright.

Speaker 27 We're just upstairs.

Speaker 29 You wanna come up and see if we can, you know,

Speaker 36 talk it out, see if we can help?

Speaker 32 Yes, please.

Speaker 44 Now, time is pressing.

Speaker 22 Very bloody pressing.

Speaker 40 And I cannot stress how important it is that we get to the bottom of what the hell is going on with this absolute farce of an investigation.

Speaker 3 Hi, guys. Hi.
This is Hector.

Speaker 8 Hector McFarlane. Hi.
Hi there.

Speaker 21 My name is Afro. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 Hi. Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 34 Excellent.

Speaker 6 You're the man. Ha!

Speaker 42 Spend it, right-oh.

Speaker 5 Do you take my coat, do you?

Speaker 4 I uh

Speaker 4 yeah? I mean, I can.

Speaker 21 There. Do you want a cup of tea or anything, Hector?

Speaker 8 No, there's no time, really. Now we must.
We really must crack on.

Speaker 22 Now, may I sit here?

Speaker 27 Um, yeah, sure.

Speaker 10 You're a solicitor.

Speaker 3 I am, yes.

Speaker 10 And you're on the run.

Speaker 3 The run.

Speaker 8 Very much so.

Speaker 22 Very, very much so.

Speaker 6 How'd you get away from the colour? I mean, can you?

Speaker 10 And he's seeking immediate criminal assistance.

Speaker 19 That's what they are, by the way.

Speaker 20 Need a bell end? Did that observation jump out at you? A little.

Speaker 21 Who are you on the run from?

Speaker 8 The police.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 8 I can see the way you're all looking at at me, but it is really not like that.

Speaker 22 It's really not.

Speaker 10 You'd better start from the beginning, Mr. McFarlane.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 it began with a.

Speaker 3 One of those things.

Speaker 14 What do they call the bloody...

Speaker 22 The portable oven that you do all sorts in these days.

Speaker 36 An air fryer.

Speaker 34 An air fryer, yes.

Speaker 21 With one basket, or the ones with a dual.

Speaker 38 Jewel, I think.

Speaker 22 High-end, John Lewis. I never used the thing, but that's.

Speaker 34 Listen, I must be quick.

Speaker 3 This bloody air fryer.

Speaker 22 My wife wanted one.

Speaker 8 And I said, Shireen, we don't have the space. She said, we do, Hector.
We have the space.

Speaker 45 It's a big kitchen and all this.

Speaker 8 And I said, no, we don't have the counter space. The kitchen counter.

Speaker 42 There's not enough room.

Speaker 8 You've got the kettle, the microwave.

Speaker 46 I have a medicine box for my blood pressure and such.

Speaker 22 Then you've got the sink.

Speaker 8 You've got the auger on the other side and auger.

Speaker 46 That thing alone, that's half your utility bills, just keeping that thing warm.

Speaker 3 She wants an air fryer.

Speaker 8 Then the pantry on the other side, there's no chance.

Speaker 43 There's no pissing room, for heaven's sake.

Speaker 42 Nowhere near enough.

Speaker 8 She said we should swap out the coffee machine. And I said, Shireen, that is a two and a half thousand quid barista bar.
It's not a coffee machine.

Speaker 7 They use that thing in gales.

Speaker 22 Anyway, guess what happens?

Speaker 21 You get the air fryer?

Speaker 8 We get the air fryer.

Speaker 14 I swear, I used to have a backbone like a goalpost.

Speaker 38 Firm, rigid.

Speaker 22 Now with that woman, it's a corner flag, swaying to her every wanton need.

Speaker 46 God's sake!

Speaker 8 Deep breath sector.

Speaker 26 Deep.

Speaker 38 What's that fucking yoga thing?

Speaker 24 What is it? Pira Pirana Panama breath.

Speaker 21 Panayama breathing. Ah, that's the one.

Speaker 3 Shireen got me on that yoga to try and calm me down.

Speaker 24 In the nose.

Speaker 21 In through your nose, yes.

Speaker 3 In the nose.

Speaker 3 Out of the mouth.

Speaker 6 Out the mouth. There we go.

Speaker 3 Calm.

Speaker 3 Calm.

Speaker 3 Calm, cussing, assing calm.

Speaker 3 Just

Speaker 44 gather, gather myself.

Speaker 6 Yep, yep.

Speaker 33 All good.

Speaker 37 So

Speaker 22 we get get the bastard air fryer, right?

Speaker 8 And sure enough, I'm right. She's wrong.

Speaker 37 No room.

Speaker 46 No room for the thing.

Speaker 8 She wants to get rid of the microwave. She wants to stop using the kettle and just use the coffee machine.

Speaker 22 I said, what about tea?

Speaker 34 And she says, the coffee machine does hot water.

Speaker 24 And I said, I'm not spraying boiling hot water into a teacup for Christ's sake.

Speaker 40 We use a kettle in this house.

Speaker 43 We're not Canadians.

Speaker 8 I said to her, is that what you want, shireen you want us to live like canadians i refuse to to canadian never mind carry on so we decide to get a whole kitchen renovation and i think well that's just bloody marvellous isn't it let's tear up the whole kitchen for this bear fryer we get a few quotes from various builders and what have you all just bollocking on about the space and we should extend out the back and all this.

Speaker 8 Oh, do me a favour. This is Blackheath.

Speaker 22 I know they're going to charge me through the nose, and then some local do-gooder will have me reported for disturbing the oh, I don't know, the topsoil or some nonsense.

Speaker 8 Anyway, it drags on, and we eventually get a guy from oh, geez, uh, what's it called?

Speaker 14 Norwood, a fellow from Norwood, Jonas Oldacre.

Speaker 3 Oh, but

Speaker 33 he's dead, Hector.

Speaker 30 He was

Speaker 29 he was murdered.

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Speaker 21 Icy Hot, you're so back.

Speaker 21 But

Speaker 33 he's dead.

Speaker 30 Hector, he was.

Speaker 29 he was murdered.

Speaker 10 Supposedly, no body has been found yet, Watson.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but now listen, you said you would hear me out, didn't you?

Speaker 4 Can I just dial it down a bit, Hector?

Speaker 24 Would you?

Speaker 43 Would you dial it down when you're smeared over every paper? Look at this.

Speaker 46 Look at this.

Speaker 14 In the Times here, look. Solicitor suspected for contractor disappearance.

Speaker 46 The Telegraph.

Speaker 8 Solicitor faces long arm of law.

Speaker 22 The Daily Mail.

Speaker 7 Bully of Blackheath.

Speaker 14 Elite London lawyer facing murder charge.

Speaker 24 And this is just...

Speaker 25 This is...

Speaker 22 The Guardian here, look at this.

Speaker 8 Old Acre Murder.

Speaker 7 How neoliberal materialism and cursed Eulsop home renovations are the real killers of the working.

Speaker 22 Oh, the lamp goes on a bit.

Speaker 25 Yeah, we get the point.

Speaker 5 Do you?

Speaker 3 Do you?

Speaker 45 I'm not sure you do.

Speaker 38 The daily sport?

Speaker 38 Big job love. MacFarlane's wife's steamy romp with missing builder.

Speaker 43 I mean, look, there's a thought bubble above my wife's head saying...

Speaker 7 Knob the builder, can he fix it?

Speaker 38 Hector.

Speaker 26 The speech bubble or whatever as well.

Speaker 14 Here's your extension, love.

Speaker 44 I mean, this is just... just

Speaker 34 the sun.

Speaker 22 Cannibal Hector. MacFarlane confesses to eating Norwood Tradesman.

Speaker 13 You confess to what?

Speaker 38 Sorry?

Speaker 43 I didn't confess to a damn thing.

Speaker 7 I said I was hungry for justice.

Speaker 43 That's all. It is slander.
It's disgraceful. It's bloody humiliating.

Speaker 10 Could we perhaps return to the chain of events as you, not the press, perceive them?

Speaker 6 We.

Speaker 6 We.

Speaker 8 Jonas was very nice, alright? The second he came around, we could tell that this quote was going to be what we were looking for. He was accommodating.

Speaker 42 He didn't think we needed an extension.

Speaker 8 He talked about a simple wraparound countertop that, yes, was very sleek, but it wasn't extortionate.

Speaker 40 We book him for the job.

Speaker 22 And he gets to work the following week.

Speaker 25 And then it begins.

Speaker 10 What exactly begins, Hector?

Speaker 8 Oh, the parameters begin to shift. They always do with builders, don't they? Oh, this material's not available.
Let's go for this one.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's not up to regs, so we'll have to do all this sort of stuff. But no, Jonas was worse than that.

Speaker 34 I come home one day, all right, Jonas, sort of thing.

Speaker 8 He says, um, you need a steel beam across here, Hector, mate.

Speaker 38 I said, I beg your pardon.

Speaker 45 He said, yeah, steel beam.

Speaker 42 For structural support.

Speaker 38 Structural support, exactly.

Speaker 8 He says, it's gonna cost four grand. I said, Jonas, we want new countertops, wrap around like you said.
He says, we don't have the floor space, so we'll have to increase it.

Speaker 8 We need to blow the wall out into the garden for a few feet. Bigger kitchen, natural light.
And I said, Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 8 This man comes into my kitchen under false false pretenses, smashes the place to bits, pulls out the oven, the dishwasher, all the cupboards and counters, and holds me to ransom.

Speaker 46 To ransom!

Speaker 8 I said, I'm not bloody having this.

Speaker 22 You are taking the piss.

Speaker 8 We have this big row. Shireen comes back, and I...

Speaker 8 I told him.

Speaker 22 I told him in no uncertain terms, I'm taking you to court, mate.

Speaker 3 You are screwed.

Speaker 8 I got the initial quote signed. I got it guaranteed by him.
He said he didn't usually do that kind of thing. And now I see why.

Speaker 40 I said, you do your little extension.

Speaker 22 You do whatever it is that you think works.

Speaker 8 But I am not paying a damn penny more.

Speaker 8 He said he'd lose out.

Speaker 40 I said, so be it.

Speaker 46 Lose out in court for ten times the amount for all I care. Finish the job or get shut down.

Speaker 8 My wife managed to cool the situation and to simmer it down. Me in particular.

Speaker 14 I have uh

Speaker 22 I've quite a short temper, you see.

Speaker 10 I do see.

Speaker 37 Yes.

Speaker 24 Um

Speaker 6 look.

Speaker 8 The days and weeks went on. The kitchen work was.

Speaker 6 Well, it was coming along all right.

Speaker 8 And the tension, well, if you could call it that, had uh dissipated a little. I think he knew I had him.
You don't mess with a solicitor, do you, really?

Speaker 22 Anyway, he had taken out the back wall and we had sorted planning permission.

Speaker 8 Well, we didn't actually need planning in the end, as it was rear. It was rear-facing work.

Speaker 34 And it was looking rather good, I have to say.

Speaker 8 Could really see his idea coming together.

Speaker 22 And we actually started to really get on.

Speaker 34 We chatted about the arsenal and a bit of rugby.

Speaker 8 And then on. Last Monday I came back from work and Jonas was still at the house, which was odd as I had been working late.
Well, very late, so I expected to not see him. And he was actually

Speaker 8 He'd hung around for some legal advice.

Speaker 22 He said his partner was pregnant, recently pregnant, and he wanted to draw up a will. And he asked if I could help out.

Speaker 8 And he said if I helped him, he would knock down some of the labor costs even more.

Speaker 22 And I thought, well, why not?

Speaker 8 You know, I mean, I mean, I arranged the forms for him.

Speaker 34 I made a draft contract where he could fill in the relevant relevant parties, himself, the key beneficiaries and so on.

Speaker 8 And I said I could sign it when he'd filled it all in.

Speaker 22 I thought it would take him some time, but he was right back the next morning before I was even out of work.

Speaker 8 The forms were on the side, ready to be signed by me.

Speaker 44 I signed it.

Speaker 8 Caught him as I was heading off on my bike and I said to him, we'll make a couple of copies and I can get it filed at work

Speaker 42 Yeah

Speaker 22 And that was

Speaker 8 the last time I saw Jonas Oldacre

Speaker 34 That

Speaker 8 was the last time anyone saw Jonas Oldacre

Speaker 8 Later that day the fourteenth I was in a meeting and one of my colleagues knock knock on the door sort of thing.

Speaker 27 Hector, can I have a word?

Speaker 8 He says. I said, sure, Charlie.

Speaker 24 I left the meeting room, I walked down the hallway, and

Speaker 8 Dame Gwen Lestrade is there.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 42 yeah,

Speaker 38 exactly.

Speaker 22 And I sort of did

Speaker 8 double take. You know the face from the TV, but you're not sure.

Speaker 8 So she introduces herself and she says she's overseeing an investigation that she says concerns her greatly and I say oh what's that and she says the murder of Jonas Oldacre

Speaker 6 and

Speaker 11 I swear to God

Speaker 8 my knees go weak I

Speaker 8 I'm just staring at her and I look down to the desk that she's she's sort of standing over

Speaker 3 and there

Speaker 22 is the will

Speaker 8 and look

Speaker 8 I

Speaker 8 don't know how I didn't see it in the kitchen.

Speaker 6 I have no idea.

Speaker 8 But I can see the beneficiary. All the belongings, assets, and financial holdings of Jonas Oldacre will be left to

Speaker 8 me.

Speaker 34 To Hector MacFarlane.

Speaker 21 Oh my god.

Speaker 8 Everything left to me.

Speaker 3 Everything.

Speaker 34 Everything.

Speaker 5 That it.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't even.

Speaker 22 I don't even think I'd be authorized to sign the forms as the.

Speaker 31 Doesn't matter.

Speaker 34 Look, I'm a legal man, so.

Speaker 34 And that is exactly why they tried to intimidate me with Lestrade.

Speaker 34 So, I stuck to my guns.

Speaker 14 I said, I will be in contact with my lawyer and I will get back to you.

Speaker 22 I keep repeating it.

Speaker 8 They insist it's just a casual chat.

Speaker 22 I say, no,

Speaker 7 nope, not having it.

Speaker 14 Back off, sort of thing.

Speaker 44 I have a chat with a lawyer.

Speaker 34 I'm not feeling comfortable about it at all.

Speaker 8 I call some old friends, and one of them eventually recommended you, Mr. Holmes.

Speaker 3 And that's...

Speaker 31 That's why I'm here.

Speaker 10 Mr. McFarlane, I appreciate the visit, and of course, the detailed depiction you have provided of the circumstances.

Speaker 23 No problem at all.

Speaker 22 Now, what can we do to...

Speaker 10 But I will be refusing your case.

Speaker 2 I.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 18 Yeah, what?

Speaker 22 I'll pay good money.

Speaker 24 I doubt that.

Speaker 45 Why are you refusing my case?

Speaker 10 Because you killed him, Mr. MacFarlane.

Speaker 37 You killed Jonas Aldacre.

Speaker 3 How dare you?

Speaker 10 There is nothing daring about the truth in my line of work, Mr. MacFarlane.
Now it is you who are faced with the choice as the police bear down on you and your options close off.

Speaker 10 Truth

Speaker 10 or dare?

Speaker 8 This is not a game.

Speaker 10 Actually, it is. And I believe you may have lost.

Speaker 36 Sherlock, maybe if you just explain to Hector.

Speaker 24 Explain what?

Speaker 7 How I'm guilty of a crime I didn't commit.

Speaker 43 I am persecuted by the press. How my...

Speaker 43 My whole life has been destroyed.

Speaker 10 I cross-reference.

Speaker 43 Cross-reference what exactly?

Speaker 10 My knowledge of the crime I read yesterday with your behaviour I see today.

Speaker 10 And I do not wish to aid your cause to-morrow.

Speaker 24 You're a bastard!

Speaker 10 And you're a murderer.

Speaker 10 You beat him to death with a club hammer.

Speaker 46 That's not true!

Speaker 10 A clubhammer you took from his own van on the 13th. He messaged his colleague Chris, asking for its whereabouts the same day, and he was never seen again.

Speaker 10 The clubhammer was found in a local bin lorry following collection. On your street, Mr.
MacFarlane.

Speaker 43 This really is such nonsense.

Speaker 10 And they also discovered a 115mm cutting disc, taken from an angle grinder, with traces of blood on it.

Speaker 22 Oh, please!

Speaker 10 And it would appear that Jonas Oldacre's own angle grinder tool had a new blade replaced. Incorrectly installed, though.
Interesting. Almost as if it was hastily put on by an amateur.

Speaker 10 An amateur who wished to disguise the usage of the previous blade. And what was that usage, Mr.
McFarlane?

Speaker 38 I think I've made it perfectly clear that I have no fucking idea, sir!

Speaker 10 It was to dismember the body of that poor builder, limb by limb.

Speaker 38 You liar!

Speaker 19 You're a liar!

Speaker 12 Hey, whoa, whoa!

Speaker 19 Come on, that's all right.

Speaker 12 Come on!

Speaker 19 You want to throw an accusation, my lord.

Speaker 12 Can you throw a punch, Glad?

Speaker 19 Come on! Get the fucking get back! Oh, what?

Speaker 12 Or I'm gonna break those glasses onto your fur bones.

Speaker 5 Now, get back!

Speaker 26 Are you okay?

Speaker 10 Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 10 Make sure this makes its its way into the arrest report.

Speaker 38 Shut up!

Speaker 6 Oh, oh, Nick.

Speaker 18 My knuckles, bleedings.

Speaker 26 My knuckle.

Speaker 14 You need to get out of our flat now.

Speaker 21 Just wait for the police, John. They're at the door.

Speaker 40 Well, then, go wait in the kitchen.

Speaker 26 Watson?

Speaker 4 I don't want him in here.

Speaker 10 I'm perfectly right.

Speaker 19 Ugh, there's blood.

Speaker 30 Yeah, but he won't beat because.

Speaker 25 I swear to God, I'll punch him in his stupid face. Get off me.
Yeah, yeah, with pleasure, you twat.

Speaker 34 In the kitchen, now.

Speaker 24 Whatever.

Speaker 31 Oh, goodness. I saw my shirt.

Speaker 6 Uh-oh.

Speaker 21 We should really let the police inside.

Speaker 21 I'll go enter the door then, yeah?

Speaker 3 Yes, Mariana, go.

Speaker 34 Hold that thought just one moment.

Speaker 26 Sorry, what?

Speaker 22 Look at me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what?

Speaker 18 No blood?

Speaker 10 Bruise, or even blemish.

Speaker 30 You got a date or something?

Speaker 26 No.

Speaker 28 Then why do you...

Speaker 5 It's fine.

Speaker 29 You look fine. Where did he get you?

Speaker 10 Below the eye, I think.

Speaker 12 Yep.

Speaker 21 Yep, you look fine to me. Wow.

Speaker 21 You're lucky it hasn't swollen and closed right up.

Speaker 26 Yes.

Speaker 10 It has, in fact, done rather the opposite.

Speaker 2 It has...

Speaker 10 Opened my eyes.

Speaker 28 Are you being you right now, or are you being concussed?

Speaker 27 Because it's very hard to tell sometimes.

Speaker 10 Not a mark on me. He threw everything into that right hook, yet nothing.
But this is the man that beat a 6'2, 14-stone builder to death with a 2-kilogram club hammer.

Speaker 27 Alright, just pick a unit, mate, and stick with it.

Speaker 14 And did you see?

Speaker 23 He...

Speaker 10 He reacted to the blood on his own hand. His face ran pale.
He gagged. His walk into the kitchen denoted a spell of dizziness.
He was unbalanced and numb. Hector has acute haemophobia.

Speaker 21 What are you getting at?

Speaker 10 This is a man that supposedly cut a body to pieces with an angle grinder, Mariana.

Speaker 4 Ah, you're right. No, no, no, no, come on.

Speaker 27 He's just a.

Speaker 35 He's a prick who gives it all that every day of the week.

Speaker 25 And then when he was finally faced with a confrontation, he just.

Speaker 27 you know, he had a panic.

Speaker 28 That's why he's all pale and everything and dizzy.

Speaker 10 But that was not the order of things, Watson. Nor was it what triggered the symptoms.
You saw it. He was bearing down over me, ready for more, until he saw the blood.

Speaker 21 Sherlock, just wait. Wait, leave him in there.

Speaker 10 No, I need more information on what exactly.

Speaker 35 What?

Speaker 35 What is it? Is he fainted?

Speaker 19 No.

Speaker 10 He's vanished.

Speaker 5 To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.

Speaker 5 Sherlock and Cookie Cook.

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The sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5.

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